http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Enyara&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Enyara en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 09 Dec 2009 02:10:03 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/25626892/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/25626892/ Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:59:37 PDT such darkness must only announce one thing,
your joyful eyes have been shut
against my will, against my will.

Every corner in my room is growing by the minute
and I keep becoming smaller and smaller,
suddenly silence drowns voices that speak of comfort
and my lungs are filled with heavy air,
muted screams come out of me
and breathing is a difficult task for my body.

I try to hold on to your last breath
while your eyes go deep into the painful morning
and no longer shine on me.

I find myself low on faith
questioning everything I strongly believed in
asking for justice for such a humble soul
still there's no comfort for no answer makes sense
and I remain selfish on my desire to keep you.

my eyes drown between heavy air and your absence
foolishly I closed my eyes under a false conviction
creating a fake reality where you'd never leave
where you'd still be here when I open the door.

I try to hold on to your last breath
while your eyes go deep into the painful morning
and no longer shine on me.

Gathering everything that reminds me of you
as if those things would bring you back to me
or at least make me sink into a timeless dream
where breaking a watch would stop time
and holding your face would feel warm.

Days keep passing me by
and I still hold on to your memory
I refuse to let go
but there's no void in me
for you still live in me.

Bonzo... thank you for a decade together. I will keep you in my memory for many more.

]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/25576207/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/25576207/ Fri, 26 Jun 2009 21:10:42 PDT
He came to me when I least expected it. I had to sneak him into my room while my parents were out cuz they didn't like me having pets in my room. Still, I always managed to sneak him into my room to hug him and watch him sleep on my bed. He was just 3 months old. He was healthy. He was happy but scared to be in a strange place with strange people calling him cute names and petting him as if he were a stuffed animal.

He became very close to me... more than to anyone else in the house. I had adopted him without knowing it. He needed help from the start. He needed vitamins, vaccines and medicine to stabilize his weight. Apparently the place where they had him, he wasn't being fed properly. I kept a journal where I'd write all the things I had to do for him during the day. I have a lousy memory so I needed to write everything down: 9 am: Tol 12... Midday: lunch, not too much yet.

He recovered fast and grew huge. He never behaved like a regular dog. He never barked at dogs, cats, people, or any other animal for that matter. Never bit anyone during his whole life.. NEVER! His vet always told me he was especial and quite different... as if he had a human-like soul inside. Coming from a person of science, this one was a shocker.

We hung out a lot together. We had a special routine. I'd put on jeans, a t-shirt, my hat, glasses and pack up all the stuff I thought he might need: water, a towel, crackers, a toy, etc. I always overpacked for what was supposed to be a casual visit to the park. We spent 2 or 3 hours, pretty much everyday for like 4 years or so. He never let me sit for over a few minutes. He'd start barking at me going 'get the hell up!! you said we'd run on the beach!'

He loved the sea. He'd go in and wait for a wave to chase him out. We had a lot of fun at the beach together.

After his first year, health issues became our daily burden. Something I promised myself I'd always rush to help him. If there is something that immediately breaks my soul is watching an animal in pain. People have mouths and ambulances.. they can scream for help all they want, someone will always come.

He had his first tumor taken out. Then came another one. Then another one. Luckily, all of them were small and taken out on time. By his third year he couldn't go to the vet without looking super scared and stressed.

When he arrived I was still studying so I didn't have any money to get all the things I thought he should have. So I managed to use stuff I found around the house. I'd say he needs a huge comforter cuz he just had surgery and he needs something soft and warm to sleep on. I eventually managed to move him from the crappy house on the backyard to the warmth and comfort of my room: the place I used to sneak him into every night.

He never did any tricks or hunted anything. He was always quiet, humble and willing to sit by me whenever I needed him. I can still hear his paws on the wooden floor... I could recognize his pace apart from everyone else.

He became a huge part of my family and brought us together. After me and my brother got to highschool, we never volunteered to join our parents for anything. It was my bro in his room all day, my parents on the living room arguing and me locked in mine. After Bonzo, our family trips to the beach with Bonzo were sacred.

After a couple of years we decided to get him a girlfriend. He became the proud dad of 8. We kept one of them: Ringo. Ringo thought he was his mommy and bit his nipples, scratched his cheeks and became his backpack. Wherever Bonzo went, Ringo HAD to be there with him or he'd cry as if he was dying.

Ringo became a huge fan of attention and that made Bonzo a little sad. Even though I took care of both of them. Ringo was more fond of the whole family so everyone paid attention and played with him, which gave me the space I needed to stay focused on my baby.

Bonzo had a smell... a smell nobody liked. We washed everything he stepped on or laid on. My parents would often complain about his smell on the furniture so I had to wash the sofa and cushions pretty much every weekend. I did that gladly, hardly complained about the task. Life goes round and round... and now one of the things I miss the most is his smell. He didn't smell like a regular dog... after he left, I took his cape and the first thing I did was smell it. I needed something still alive from him, something that wasn't painted on a photograph, something my other senses would feel. I put his leach and his cape on a bag and hid them... ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/21908793/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/21908793/ Wed, 10 Dec 2008 02:52:00 PST
I just hope it lasts

Twilight... obsessed much? ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/15872588/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/15872588/ Mon, 10 Dec 2007 05:48:03 PST
Finally able to introduce my new camera. I'm totally back on track ^^

Any good tutorials? ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/15579025/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/15579025/ Mon, 19 Nov 2007 15:55:45 PST
It's been like... forever since the last time I took a photo and really really loved what I did with it.

I even forgot how to use ps. But I'm definitely back on track. Learning everything all over again on its new version.

In two weeks I'll have tons of spare time to take photos and learn.

-Adjusting my lens-

I'm back

Any good tutorials? ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/12495277/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/12495277/ Sat, 07 Apr 2007 11:03:17 PDT
And I think it's the best way to go. It's a plus when it comes to creating strong bonds with your students, bonds that are based on respect and trust. They trust me their skills and I polish them.

It's been great teaching people my age or older English. It turned out to be a great job, you wouldn't believe how many people I've met. And all of them are so different from each other. And a strange type of friendship is born.

I've made really good friends among them, including my colleagues. It's fun to teach without the "children screaming and running all around the classroom" factor that many teachers suffer from in elementary schools. Of course, college has some disadvantages, but in a completely different department. As far as teaching and imporving yourself goes, it's way better than a school, and just as rewarding.

I think it's a great way to start. And a good way to give something back to society.

Have a peaceful holly week.

Hugs, and God bless!

]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/12231984/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/12231984/ Sun, 18 Mar 2007 11:59:18 PDT
Young people, used to believe that old people are obsolete, they have methods that are overrated and lack effectiveness in the classroom.

What about experience you say? Well, experience will not automatically prepare old teachers with new tools for this century's students. Young people are already prepared for these minds, we just need the opportunity to prove it.

Unfortunately, some former classmates that graduated have set a very sad example of how unprofessional we can be as young teachers. Ethics is not something we all keep in mind at the time of working... and some values are so attached to your personality that even if they have the skills to teach, they'll unleash their lack of ethics at work to accomplish unprofessional objectives.

Let's talk about teachers at elementary schools... I know one in particuluar. He's in charge of a 3rd grade. After school, he goes to each one of his students' houses, and re-teaches everything he failed to explain in class that day. A good... no, let's say a fair teacher, true to his or her professional upbringing would not even consider charging his/her students for private lessons. Private lessons are not meant for your own students, they are meant to help someone else's students. And the parents? They love it, who on their right mind would turn down the chance to get their kids a good mark?

He's making two very good salaries because he knows he can overcharge them, all of his students belong to very wealthy families who don't care (well, they don't know so they shouldn't care anyway). It's a shame because teachers know each other. We all have heard his story, and we are all sorry that he got his degree because we all know... he also cheated his way through college.

Then, what do you think really matters? Making more than enough money no matter what or making enough doing what you graduated for? Today it's really difficult to answer such a question, we all need money and it's very easy to end up doing what he's doing. Me?.... I'm completely different. I wouldn't be me if I sold myself professionally. I love being a professor, I love teaching future colleagues and helping them find their calling... even though I know that probably more than one will be like him and damage education one private lesson at a time.

So, is it profitable to be true to your values and remain strictly professional? I think it is, but not in terms of money... which has not become my ultimate goal... yet (I cannot cast the first stone, who knows if in the future my life will change my goals?). I'm here to teach... guide and help others let out the best of themselves and I know I'm not the only one.

After all this, how am I? I'm content, pleased and satisfied. Because if I exist, others like me exist. That's enough to make me happy.

Know your teacher, we are more... much more. Hate us all you want, eventually a small piece of each one of us sticks to your soul and becomes your life compas.

]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/10646879/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/10646879/ Tue, 07 Nov 2006 11:56:29 PST
Growing up together I don't remember anyone else willing to share so much with such honesty. And now, after what... 14 years is it? we still have that comfortable feel when we talk, that thing that keeps our friendship alive even though we spend months without talking to each other.

Anyway, it's good to know we are doing fine in life and we both have someone that can put up with us and not feel fed up by our special... uhmm... things.

It's nice to know we've endured, and hopefully, I will be your bride's maid in 2008.

Cheers

]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/10568515/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/10568515/ Tue, 31 Oct 2006 08:39:35 PST
I was in a point where all I did well were all the things that we usually classify as bad. Arguing just about anything that drove me nutts. Every little thing became a huge reason to fight, specially with my boyfriend. I appreciate his pacience and hope he still wants to be with me after all we've been through. I'm learning to control my emotions even though sometimes I just wish I were completely numb.

I need balance, I've been up and down too long. But, in spite of every crappy situation I've lived reciently, I think I'm finally reaching some sort of balance.. or getting close to it.

Long ago, I had objectives, I had personal goals that I achieved one by one, everyone of them on its due time... there was no need to hurry things, the point was to get them done more than well... and I did, for a while. Suddenly, I really don't know when and how, I lost control, suddenly my whole life was upside down and I just lost my ground.

I like to think it happens to everyone, not because I'm being negative, but because I need to believe this is normal, and that I'm still inside the boundaries of sane people. I got really lost and ended up doing absolutely nothing right. I stopped studying, I wasn't doing my job the way it was supposed to be done, at home I had no real contact with my family, and I got this unbelievable easiness to find reasons to fight with my boyfriend... the only one that probably knew all along that something was really wrong with me but didn't know how to help me.

Somehow things find their way to sort out in the end. The real problem is if you will still be there when they do. I was lucky enough to be in one piece by the time that happened to me. And even though I've thought a lot about it, I can't find a way to avoid it from happening next time. I'm blank.. I've no idea how we can help it, or how to deal with it so as not to lose your head trying.

All I've got is what everybody says and you want to beat them up when they say it to you as if it was the greatest piece of advice ever: Hang in there, everything will be okay... just give it time.

Maybe they have been through that too, and maybe... they too failed to find a way to avoid it, or deal with it.

It's really good to be back on track, even if I only have myself to celebrate my victory with.

Cheers and God bless!

]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/10387421/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/10387421/ Sat, 14 Oct 2006 06:06:20 PDT
Hopefully, soon I'll be able to get back on my feet and continue evolving here, which is something I've been trying to do for quite some time now.

Regards

]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/8169727/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/8169727/ Wed, 15 Mar 2006 14:55:23 PST
Anyway, live it up! ^^ ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/7370316/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/7370316/ Wed, 21 Dec 2005 06:22:18 PST
I always wondered if it would happen to me
I'm as ordinary as I can be
as simple as I can be
invisible in the crowd
I get up and go to bed at night, just like everyone else.

I've never been special
I've never asked to be.... special
but I always wondered if it would happen to me
you know... to finally find him
or... if he would just appear in my path.

On January things got weird
since then we've held hands no matter what
on weak moments, when I feel I might lose you
I've wished to disappear... more than ever before
I know you hate that in me
but you have no idea how found I feel
how complete I am now
how much sense life makes
how the sun feels today
every breathe I take is different if I'm with you
every second of my life is important now.

You took me out, into the light
like nobody else would ever be able to
but you did.. I still don't know why
I don't know if it's wrong, but I don't wanna let go... ever
I hate to miss you, but I would rather die than live without this.

I've never come accross someone so beautiful,
you still keep that young spirit inside
Your age tries to hide it but it shows
whenever you smile, that child comes out
so sweet, so humble, so perfect
and to feel you're mine, it's overwhelming
it's too much
it's too great
it's too perfect

I only hope I'm not giving up my life too soon
if I lost you... I would not expect to ever wake up again... willingly
I know it's wrong, but I will never promise you I'll be strong without you
cuz I can't lie
I've given you all I can
I've shared with you all my being
my skin, my lips, my hugs, my tears
everything somebody can give, I've given it to you.

I've learned so much so quickly I only hope that if I have to fall
you'll be there to catch me
Strong with you, weak without you... that's where I stand
and I'm glad I risked everything
I'm glad I've given you my soul
I do not regret giving you my heart.

You see right into me
I don't have to say anything, you already know
I don't have to call you, you already know I need you
I don't have to wake up, I know you are real
I spent 23 years without knowing life
without knowing hope
I spent 23 years wandering and moving around numb
I know now, things can be better.

All I'm giving... I hope is enough
Don't ever let go
I'll be with you, even if we fall
if we have to fall, I'll fall with you
my first, my one and only... you

You make me become so many things
in your eyes I can see myself pretty
in your arms I can feel special
in your presence I can become someone who stands out
just for you, because of you

I love you... more than I ever expected
beyond my own limits... I've proved to be capable
of loving, of giving, of sharing... of becoming your skin.

Here's to you... I will always thank you for saving me and teaching me so much.

*Hugs to everyone* ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/7273280/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/7273280/ Sat, 10 Dec 2005 11:21:44 PST
more information in spanish:

QUE NO SE TORTUREN MAS ANIMALES EN LOS CIRCOS!!!!
UNETE AHORA, HAY Q JUNTAR FIRMAS!

go to/agrega tu voto en:

[link]

QUE VIVAN COMO MERECEN LOS ANIMALITOS... NO A COSTA DE CIRCOS CON GENTE IGNORANTE QUE SACA PROVECHO DEL SUFRIMIENTO DE ELLOS. UNANSE TODOS!! EL 22 DE DIC. CUMPLE EL PLAZO.

Thank you for your time and understanding, thousands of animals will thank you for giving them a life free of unnecessary pain and bondage. ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/7020342/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/7020342/ Fri, 11 Nov 2005 16:49:59 PST
Just one more embrace
just one more kiss
just one more caress
just one more sigh
just one more glance

sometimes I just need to see your eyes to keep breathing in my usual tranquility. ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/6629601/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/6629601/ Wed, 28 Sep 2005 21:32:21 PDT
never give ur heart to someone else... always keep most of it for yourself, be selfish!!! always be selfish when it comes to your heart....

just give that person a tiny part of it and watch him take care of it.. give it some time... it wont be long before he noticed he forgot to take care of it...

nothing makes up for that... nothing, even though we're still together.... nothing makes up for that.

Gotta change my priorities in my head... I seriously need to become an ice queen.

Cant even take pictures anymore... f*ck it!!!! ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/6528772/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/6528772/ Sat, 17 Sep 2005 12:38:01 PDT
I've surrendered my life to someone else, and I already feel like it's gonna be forever...

You know me so well, I love you ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5931121/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5931121/ Thu, 14 Jul 2005 08:55:26 PDT
Maybe it's cuz I'm getting my masters degree and I'm totally focused on that.

I'm a one-week subscriber :$ !!!! hehehehe

I already signed to become an official beta tester, dunno how long that's gonna last but I've got time to help out with that ^^

Someone pour a jar with ideas in my brain T_T

]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5668147/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5668147/ Thu, 16 Jun 2005 15:36:02 PDT
I drove for two blocks when my car stopped. I looked around cuz my car was moving as if the floor was made of water. Then I looked up and saw wires swinging, sparkles flashing, windows breaking and then total darkness. All the lights in the city went out.

I turned on my car lights... and I saw a sea of people screaming, holding hands, crying, running, praying. I can't really explaing the feeling of it.. I froze, literally. I just looked at the whole thing happening on that corner. Then, car alarms went off, firetrucks, police patrols, everybody was running away from something... or maybe everybody thought that running would make it stop.

I woke up and drove back to where I left my mom... hoping I would find her easily cuz there was half the city yelling "mom" "dad" "my son!". I stopped with the lights on.. cars racing and hitting people as they flew by. And before I got out of the car I saw my mom running towards the car. I still thank God for our luck... to find each other quickly, safe and sound.

This city is right next to the pacific with amazing beaches, which is why everybody ran towards the mountains cuz we all feared a tsunami was next. My mom was shaking, crying and trying to call my brother.. we had no idea where he was. But obviously, there was no way anyone would be able to use a phone in the city for hours. So I drove through the sea of people and could not stop to pick up anybody cuz cars were crashing and racing towards the mountains. So I had to keep up with everybody going 100 kms/h in a small city where you are not supposed to go over 50.

In spite of the car lights, we could not see anything at all... you could barely see people, hear strange noises, cars crashing, people screaming, the sound of feet racing towards the mountains, my mom screaming and I was trying not to crash or hit somebody.

We finally got home.. and all our neighbours were in the street, with candles, crying and praying. We got out of the car and I went running inside cuz I wanted to know if my brother and my dogs were safe. The house was upside down... it was unbelievable. My mom was totally freaking out so I had to check the plugs, gas and my dogs cuz my brother wasn't home. Like 10 minutes later my brother arrived, he's on the red cross so he took his uniform, his stuff and left.

We stayed in the house trying to find candles or a flashlight and with the door open in case anybody showed up.

An hour later we were able to listen to a radio station on the car. They said there was no way a tsunami could happen, so everybody was feeling a lil better.

Then it was all about being patient, waiting, praying, and getting anything useful.. like water, candles, matches, clothes, aid kits, etc.

Then, we heard all the small towns located close to the border with bolivia were totally lost. At 2 am my brother got back home and told us all the horrible things that had happened. You can look it up on the net to find out more about all the sad things that took place that day. A whole family died buried while praying... they were like statues filled with sand... it was really shocking.

A couple of hours later we were able to receive phone calls.. at 6am we had electricity. And two days later we had tap water again.

Everybody's assessing the damage and helping all those who were left homeless.

May God be with all those who are suffering. ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5631347/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5631347/ Sun, 12 Jun 2005 21:35:30 PDT
It seems I never needed a muse... I had it in me but I just didn't believe it could be actually in me and not on somebody or something else.

Whatever... bottom line is I'm back.

*hugs* ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5510268/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5510268/ Tue, 31 May 2005 09:57:01 PDT *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5153220/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5153220/ Thu, 21 Apr 2005 21:12:57 PDT
I've found a new interest on a broader range of themes for my photos and I certainly expect to have my camera around when the muse visits me.

It's amazing... the things you discover by looking at the images you captured.

regards!! ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5100815/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5100815/ Sat, 16 Apr 2005 03:50:51 PDT
Music and pictures are the doors to my moon and right now it feels like I'm staying there till I'm ready to come out.

I can't wait to improve my work here ^^

*hugs* ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5056303/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5056303/ Sun, 10 Apr 2005 23:31:08 PDT
*hugs* ]]> *Enyara http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5043334/ http://Enyara.deviantart.com/journal/5043334/ Sat, 09 Apr 2005 22:59:03 PDT
^^

Glad to be a part of this. ]]> *Enyara