http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Esteljf&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Esteljf en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 26 Nov 2009 09:13:43 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/28528873/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/28528873/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:25:41 PST You can see it too on my blog: esteljf.blogspot.com
Leave a comment if you want. You're welcome

First, I want to thank everybody for giving me "Happy b-days" and everything. You're all amazing people. It feels really good.

So, here it is... it's just a bit long... but I felt I should share my thoughts too, like anyone else. Firstly, I am NOT a die hard fan of Twilight; I didn't even read the books, so I wanna make clear that I'm just expressing my feelings concerned to the movies and its content. It's only an honest opinion, and if you have a little time to waste, I want to know your words about the subject too, if you don't mind.
I just watched the New Moon today, because a friend of mine persuaded me. I've already watched the first one and the funniest thing was that I kept a grin on my face everytime... I found it very weird. I didn't know if I liked it or not. It made me feel uncomfortable.
When I watched the trailer of the new movie, I thought I should give a second try, because I felt some empathy, but... it happened again! The grin kept on there for more two hours long. Sometimes I wanted to laugh out loud, but yeah... I just couldn't stand. It's just funny. Everything.
The acting of some is terrible; there's just a relief when Michael Sheen shows up, but it's too late (besides his part is very, very small). Bella already made it so boring. I wonder if Bella is boring by herself or if Kristen makes it hard... I can't see any sigh of emotion in her eyes at all. Really hard to believe that Bella loves Edward as much as she says it. Actually, there are a lack of many things: no suspense, no chemistry, no action, no good sound... no good dialogs! GOSH! The dialogs are pretty ridiculous sometimes. And the actors seem to forget it every time, take a breath to recover themselves and it sounds irritating.
The soundtrack is another low point. I must say the Twilight Soundtrack Score was fantastic! Carter Burwell created a wonderful and captivating theme for the movie, and I dare say it was the best part of everything, in my humble opinion. But WHY did they hire Alexandre Desplat??? The soundtrack alone goes well... a bit slow, but still. But on the movie it simply disappeared! I expected more exciting moments, but nothing hit the top. I missed the thing. It's a lame for me. Sometimes I just go to the cinema to listen to the soundtrack that loud...
Jacob is probably one of the things that I liked. NO! It's not because of his constant shirtless! But he looks like being the only one who incorporated it better. And yeah... I prefer wolves than vampires. ha... ha. ¬¬
Edward... I don't understand why people love him too much. I truly don't think Robert is beautiful. He is kinda weird, actually (and then the girls want to kill me slowly right now... hahaha).
Actually, why do people love the whole thing so much? Why do they go crazy? I'm sure there are elements that involve people deeply, but I can't see a good reason to be so fanatic yet. I mean... humans feel attracted by impossible things... like impossible love stories. They idealize it. It's an escape, something that you can dream of, when real life is a damn real life indeed. But seriously, is there anything really impossible for the characters? I mean... we all know that they find a stupid solution to make everything easier. Bella just renounces being human and wanted to be transformed. Does she not have another thing to care for? It's just Edward? I know it's just a teenage story, but my point is that could be more explored and discussed. Edward had a glance of reality but then in the end he says something like "I can't live in a world that you don't exist"! OH GOD... give me a moment, please. That's why I said I missed a suspense. A bad side of the character, you know? Then he left Bella and went to Rio! I was WTF?! I wonder how could a vampire go to the sunniest city in this world? Frankly... he should go to Curitiba, at least...

Anyway... you want to bash me right now, I know. But don't be hasty at judging. I liked the movie! Both of them. Like I said, I wanted to see the sequel or I just wouldn't do it. I wouldn't be easily persuaded if it'd been a terrible experience. I felt that it's a good story to tell. It's different, lighter and brighter than other vampires sagas. More innocent and silly too, but why not? We are stupid human... ]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/28408402/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/28408402/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 05:49:45 PST Today is my birthday again!!!
_{I'm getting tired of it! We should celebrate it once every five years...}

24 years old...

Seems now the time runs faster than ever!
For my luck, I look younger... that's what people say to me hehe
Yeah... today has been weird and nothing special yet. But my mom gave me a really cool and original gift: it's an air conditioner!!! WoW! I just can't believe it! haha That'll be veeeery useful because my bedroom is a sauna and the days have been hot enough! ¬¬

BLOG
ESTELJF.BLOGSPOT.COM
Did I make a blog??? I never thought I would do it someday. So, I don't know yet how it will be managed in the future, but hope you will check it every now and then. Be sure you are welcome!
For now, I posted some wips and a close up of my Jack Sparrow drawing. [link]
Hope you like it!

I'm working on next drawing, but I don't have a clue when it'll totally be done. I wanted to finish it before my birthday, but it wasn't possible. I had some impediments through whole last week and it delayed. It's been cool so far, while I am not too satisfied yet... it means that won't be here until next month, unfortunately. But it's still special and involves many feelings for me.

C-ya! Have a good day!


]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/27884957/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/27884957/ Wed, 21 Oct 2009 08:07:09 PDT But now I just rescued what I feared it got lost in the past. I am ENJOYING drawing again. It’s not a burden, it’s a privilege. While I am feeling sad or happy, I can draw it. It demands an INNER positive thought that I am able to do it… no matter what other people say. They can’t do it for me. A drawing can’t be made alone, without someone looking after. You have to go there and make it. Actually, it’s pretty much the same when it comes to other situations of real life. If you are in a bad moment, if everything is crashing down, and your hope seems to be gone… it’s about your own choice. Just moaning, complaining won’t solve your problem. You must decide to change it for yourself and not to accept your defeats as unbreakable. Or your life will be just a veil between your birth and death.

I took my own little journey. I decided the three latest drawings would be made together. Mostly because it’s a reunion of my favorite subjects: Aragorn from my all time favorite movie and book; Lacrimosa, my beloved favorite band, and Jack… well, he’s the captain! So, about a month ago, while all the illusionary suffering was created, I started sketching them. I can’t deny they were difficult at first. There were times that I just wanted to bang my head on wall and asked why I had to be so mad. And now, when some people ask me which tools I use to draw, I answer: pencils, eraser, patience and madness. You have to be a bit mad to challenge yourself, or you will never walk a step more. Do you know those moments that you face something but it looks too much for you? Try it. Some scary things are not too scary if you look closer.
I am just happy with all that I’ve done. It’s been even a bit melancholic that I won’t be working on them anymore, but there will be other chances in the future.

For now, I will take a little break. After all this time, focused on those works, I just forgot about other things. Haha I have books to be read, films to be watched… I left those behind, and now I have to return to the track. Probably it won’t last more than few weeks, I guess. I am so inspired by Aragorn’s drawing, so I will do more LOTR stuff, FOR SURE. Be prepared.
I’m gonna take care of my health too which has been not so good lately. =/ So I need to take some rest, indeed.

Thank you soooo much for wonderful comments, all favs and watches!!! I never thought it would get so far!

]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/27490881/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/27490881/ Tue, 29 Sep 2009 17:19:00 PDT Heya people!
I've found my love for drawings again! My new works are getting amazing! Well, 'amazing' for me, I don't know what you will think about them in the future! haha I think that I dropped a bit of the burden on my shoulders and I am actually proud of everything that I've done until now! I wish this moment could 'inspire' everyone who has felt in doubts with the pencils or their own art. I don't know what the future may bring next... if I will do more drawings or stop after finishing them, but I hope I will control the pressure better from now on. Even though, I've decided I'll take a break from dA a bit. I have to avoid Internet to concentrate more on drawings. I will be back as soon as possible! Thank you so much for the attention and support!

It's just a reflexion of other things that were bothering me some time ago. Sometimes angry and frustration are great source of strength, and it feels so good when you can liberate it and feel free. The next lyrics carries everything that I ever wanted to say for some people from the present or the past...

Feuer (Fire) - LACRIMOSA

This your first and your last victory
That I sacrifice my time - that I wrote this
But time is a whore - gives herself in haste
I have long gorged on my hatred of you

This is your time to burn
This is my time to burn you!
One day you will be in this dark place
I will send you fire and then I listen to your screams

My sympathy I save for those who deserve it
Yes - arrogance is a lonely place
Your glass is not half full and no - Your glass is not half empty
You have nothing but this water spot
Where your glass once stood

The time has come - time once again
This is now the time - it is time
This is your time to burn
This is my time to burn you

Your ignorance - your smugness
Your superiority - your egoism implodes!!!

One day you will be in this dark place
I will send you fire and then I listen to your screams...

]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/27242987/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/27242987/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 10:32:34 PDT I am not dead, yet!
Thank you SOOOO MUCH for wonderful comments, favs and watches! You don't know how much it makes me happy! I may delay but I really try to answer everyone. It means a lot! And sorry for my bad English... I haven't been practicing it too much lately

I always think it's useless to post something here about my personal life, but I've seen so many things posted around the internet like "how many eggs I've eaten today", that it's not so bad. Actually, it's not a big deal either, I just want to speak out a bit since I've been "mute" nowadays due to some weird reasons. I couldn't care because people won't read it anyway...
However, I've lost something about drawing lately, and why not, about myself too. It seems I have more blocks than everything else! I think I am too hard on myself forcing to find a quick solution for it, trying to put myself under the pressure that I should do a drawing... I got better lately, though. It's just I am not sure about if what I am doing is what I really want to do. People are trying to convince me that I should do drawings professionally, but it feels wrong in a way. It involves so many things that I wanted to forget for good. But now... for the first time, I have the opportunity to choose if it will be my following road or not. Drawing is good... I actually can't believe that I became a drawer because I would never intend to be one a few years ago. I am still surprised how I've improved even doing less than it could have been done. I know they are always based on pictures and everything that I need to do is to follow the lines and shadows, but the last time I held a pencil, I tried to do something free hand and it worked!!! I was so proud of myself that time... now I can draw indeed! But still it didn't light the fire inside of me. Maybe I should calm down and find my deepest wishes... It's true that this year has been really hard for me in many ways, and it must be just a confused moment. But due to this, I am back to my very first years when I wanted to be a Geologist. Yes... very different. Very few people know that I always wanted to study it since my childhood. Actually, they probably think that it's just a small forgettable wish of mine, but it's a huge dream that I had to put down! I always loved everything about Earth and nature of stones, minerals, gems... but to do that, I'd have to move on from my actual city to another one very far, and my parents are not fond of this idea. =/ So I have to decide between my biggest dream (even knowing that I will have to study a lot!!!) and other option which is easier to do but for me it's difficult to accept. Hard decisions...

I also have another problem that's bothering me for a while. A muscle of my right shoulder is severely sore and there are lot of remedies on my table right now. It's not very good... my brain is definitely working slow because of this. But I still intend to do something... I have three drawings waiting for me and I really want to make them come true. My idea is to do a turn with one of them, but let's see how it will develop in the future.
Btw, will you be happy if a pirate drawing pop in here anytime? ^^

Did you ever hear about Diablo Swing Orchestra? They are a Swede band which mix jazz, tango, flamenco, samba, and other dancing rhythms with heavy metal and opera vocals. It sounds weird? Yes, but it's VERY cool! For those who are open minded and like music with a certain humor, take a chance on them. [link] The new album, Sing-along Songs for the Damned & Delirious, is amazing! I am happy that there are still bands with such a creativity like them. http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/26522703/ Tue, 11 Aug 2009 08:44:17 PDT
Tagged pela

Regras:

1. Vá ate seu player preferido, ponha todas as músicas que você goste e clique em shuffle.
2. Usando essas questões, aperte play.
3. Use os nomes das músicas para responder as perguntas.
4. No final, escolha 5 pessoas para fazer o quiz também.
5. Não trapaceie.

Escolhi trilhas do Hans Zimmer (mais conhecido como Tio Rãs)

1. Como o mundo me vê?
Tribal (começamos bem...)

2. Eu terei uma vida feliz?
My father (depende do sentido desse pai haha)

3. O que as pessoas realmente pensam de mim?
Tell me now (digam aí o que vcs acham de mim...)

4. As pessoas me desejam secretamente?
Cry (nossa, que maravilha estar rodeada de pessoas assim hahaaha)

5. Como eu posso me fazer feliz?
One Day (a coisa tá meio pessimista hoje, mas pelo menos será um dia)

6. O que eu devo fazer com minha vida?
Insanely Risky (hahahaha é uma ótima idéia)

7. Eu terei filhos?
Greenland: Anno 1859 (?)

8. Qual um bom conselho para mim?
This is going to hurt (mas pode dizer... eu sou forte para aguentar )

9. Qual é minha música tema?
Journey to the Line (não sendo a Faixa de Gaza, tudo bem...)

10. O que todos pensam que é minha música tema?
Swimming (eu tenho medo o.o)

11. Que música vai tocar no meu funeral?
What have you done (faz bastante sentido)

12. Como será meu dia?
Weird is good (certamente porque não é com vc ¬¬ )

13. Por que estou aqui?
Two Hornpipes (adoro! deve ser um sinal que um dia vou tocar violino)

14. Pelo que as pessoas lembrarão de mim?
I don't think now is the best time (pelo o que percebo as pessoas não estão querendo demonstrar o que sentem por mim )

15. Que música não vai sair da minha cabeça amanhã?
Ginny's picture (?)

16. As pessoas estão esperando lá fora pra me levar embora?
Angel Story (anjos estão me esperando para me levar? depende para onde...)

17. Como será esse ano?
The Truth Revealed (isso é importante saber)

18. Se você chegasse no topo do Monte Everest, você gritaria:
Decent Men in an indecent time (huahauahuahuahauahu)

19. Na próxima vez que você estiver em frente a um grupo de pessoas, você dirá:
Trust (é uma boa dica)

20. Sua mensagem para o mundo:
Fire (devia ser ice)

21. Seu maior segredo:
Science and Religion (tá aí um segredo que nem eu sabia)

22. Seu desejo mais profundo:
The Wedding (\o/ mas não mesmo! huahahahahuauhauha esse meu player tá de sacanagem comigo)

23. Sua memória mais antiga faz você pensar...
Watergate (percebe como água anda me perseguindo)

24. Em algum lugar nos seus votos de casamento você vai incluir:
Status (vai saber)

25. Quando você acorda de manhã você diz:
The Slave who became a Gladiator (metafóricamente falando)

26. Neste momento, seus sentimentos são:
...to die for (hoje a coisa tá bem deprê heim...)

27. O dia que você se apaixonar será o dia em que:
Heart of Darkness (ai ai)

28. *Pula*
Death smiles at us all (hoje a coisa tá bem deprê [2])

29. Sua mensagem aos leitores:
it's complicated (realmente...)

Quem quiser fazer aí, à vontade!

===============================
Algumas breves considerações finais:
Não aguento mais ficar em casa por causa dessa gripe maldita!!! ¬¬ Tá cruel. Quando finalmente tem um lugar para ir, eles ameaçam fechar. Um terrorismo psicológico, praticamente...
Meu PC (para variar) tá f*dido e eu to com preguiça de levar para consertar. Meu sonho era que eu conseguisse não ter problemas com ele por mais de três meses, mas to vendo que tá complicado.
E se deus quiser, até o fim do ano eu faço mais dois desenhos haha \o/

]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/25968019/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/25968019/ Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:13:42 PDT


I usually don't do this, but I just saw the new movie few hours ago and loved! The first session was full and I personally don't like it, but my friend and I were so excited that it was a minor fact.
I've followed all movies for years and it's actually bit sad that is coming to an end, however this one is a great teaser to the next two films. Very different from the three previous ones and more mature than the two other sequels, but without losing the tenderness. It's funny and amusing but also grave and sad at the same time. It makes a bit of contrast between the dark atmosphere all over the scenes and the humor that comes from nice little jokes. It brought some reality to the turmoil inside of some characters in a way. The visual effects are probably one of the best that I've ever seen! The cinematography is so beautiful that it looks like moving paintings. Sorry for the spoiler, but the whole scene of Hermione crying on Harry's shoulder was particularly the best! I could even draw that! The soundtrack is another good surprise, actually.
But... I missed some things, even not being a reader of the books. The fact about the Half-Blood Prince is slightly mentioned very few times, and of course it's better comprehended in the end, but I still think it could have been more explored. Instead there are many scenes about Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione romances only. I believe it has its reason, but it was just too much focused in my opinion. The greatest moment in the end deserved more attention as well. It seems that the loss is smaller than it really is to the story.
On the other hand, I do understand these versions of books sometimes run away from the original indeed (being a LotR fan may help me in this case). I am not a freak fan after all. I like the movies a lot, but nothing compared to the other ones, so I can take it easy. Due to this matter, I enjoyed it more than just trying to find where they've changed... I've seen people moaning too much about the director, but always remember this: it could be worse.
Anyway, go see Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince and have fun!



By the way... the next drawing is almost done...

]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/25750927/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/25750927/ Sun, 05 Jul 2009 10:21:21 PDT Hello!
First of all, I wanted to show up a nice colored version of my Joker drawing made by ~OneStarGraphics. His work was totally brilliant, so I had to put out to the others to see here. Take a look: [link] (=

Unfortunately, my time for drawing has been very, very short. I only can draw on weekends, and weekends are so fast! I want to apologize a friend of mine for my delay to finish the last drawing of the trilogy. I am not feeling good being so relapse, but I've done my best to not to disappoint you. (= If I promise something, I really mean my words. For those who asked, it will be here as soon as possible. All I can say that is a really nice picture and I never saw a drawing of it here. It's gonna be a nice surprise for the fans of that guy. ;]
I couldn't draw for a long time because I was suffering with a tragedy in my life, but it feels better day by day lately. It consumed my mind for a while not just because the fact itself, but other things that sadly I had to deal with. I felt so alone and vanished, but the best thing about this is when you wake up and see that there are a lot of good things/people around you, and some must be left behind. Some simply don't deserve our attention at all. Actually, I should say "thanks" for this bad things because it always makes you smarter. When everything looks more than good enough, we don't pay attention to some important details, and when we feel broken inside, these details rise up as such big walls which are hard to handle. It made me think that the minimal thing we do usually is the only thing that remains for good or evil. I have done my best to enjoy the ride and not wait to do something that only matters right now! Tomorrow maybe is too late! Just because people are SO egoist and intolerant that I will lose my hope.

However, the winter has been very nice. Totally different from the last year, now it's been cold and rainy. I simply love rainy days! It always changes my humor state for a good mood. Everyone says that a sunny day is the happiest one, but I disagree. Of course, it's beautiful, but I like to see movings in the sky, great storms, etc. I must be crazy. haha The best time for listening to my favorite band, Lacrimosa. I am feeling good that my drawing of Tilo was appreciated by non-fans too. (= I'm gonna try other pictures of him and Anne in the future, I think. It's funny that there are very few drawing of them here, although the bunch of good references I get. I should have done more about other bands and less about only one. But no regrets. it's never too late to start it again. And I want to make something about LOTR too. God, I've been a big fan for several years and never made a drawing. GR! Talking about movies, I can't wait to see the next Harry Potter. I don't remember everything that happened in the previous movies, so it means I have to watch them again before going to the next one. =]

I got some messages asking for tutorials. I'm so sorry guys, but I don't feel very comfortable doing this yet, but maybe in the future. I love seeing some tutorials of really nice artists here and maybe they might help you out: [link] [link] [link] [link] [link] [link] (hope they won't be mad at me) I may post more when I find them. ♥ <sub>But it doesn't mean I won't give some tips, if I am asked for. You can ask me whatever you want, actually. I'll do my best to answer properly. I love talking to you here. =]

It's time to leave. I talked too much today. Hoping everyone is feeling good and enjoying the holidays. See ya!</sub>




]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/23766155/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/23766155/ Wed, 18 Mar 2009 15:39:44 PDT Hey people...
I just want to tell you that I am not dead and new drawings will be posted as soon as possible. I have to finish three special commissions and after that I will try to do more colored drawings. I liked the experience with that butterfly, so any tip is welcome.

I am glad to say that I won Third Place in the *Traditional-Artists Music Contest with my drawing of Marco Hietala [link] He is the man! It's the first time I won something here. I am happy! Thank you for voting.

I found something interesting yesterday that helped me in a way, so I am posting it here too. I translated to English, so it's possible to find a lot of mistakes. It's a simple message taken from a Paulo Coelho's Blog, but it made me think a lot about my own behavior.

"Mr. McWilliams says that the "certainties" are like powerful drugs, which we get addicted by so easily.
Which is better: to be happy or to be sure?
If the answer is "to be happy", then we are free.
If the answer is "to be sure", we'll have a miserable path ahead, because everything in this world is relative.
Judging the world by the right and the wrong, we have the necessity to control this justice. We start living between the resentment and guilt.
We will be hangmen of the others, and victims of ourselves.
On the other hand, being happy doesn't mean to do everything that we want.
But just follow a Jesus' lesson: "love the other like you love yourself" and then all the things make sense."



]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/22798520/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/22798520/ Sun, 25 Jan 2009 08:41:41 PST
It's been my longest break from drawing since my first piece in 2005. Almost 5 months away from pencils right now... I think that I'll have to relearn everything again next time.



]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/22483106/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/22483106/ Fri, 09 Jan 2009 07:08:07 PST Versão em português...

Taggada por

1. Pegue o livro mais perto de vc, vire a página 18, e encontre na linha 4.

"Aulë tem poder pouco inferior ao de Ulmo." (Mesmo assim o Ulmo é melhor. )

2. Estenda seu braço esquerdo para fora tanto quanto você pode. Que queres chegar?

A janela.

3. Qual é a última coisa que você assistiu na TV?

Novela?

4. Sem olhar, adivinhar que horas são:

13:00

5. Agora olhe para o relógio. Qual é o tempo real?

12:59 (uia, quase...)

6. Com a exceção do computador, o que você pode ouvir?

O ventilador.

7. Quando você saiu pela última vez? O que você estava fazendo?

Antes de ontem. Fui ao cinema com a pseudo.

8. Antes de você iniciar essa tag, o que é que você olha?

Se "antes" é advérbio de tempo passado, e "olha" está conjugado no presente, logo, não responderei a essa questão.

9. O que você está vestindo?

Roupas, oras.

10. Você sonhou com o que na noite passada?

Com uma viagem.

11. Quando você riu pela última vez?

Impossível lembrar do que especificamente, porque eu dou risada até para minha propria sombra.

12. Quais são as coisas sobre as paredes do quarto em que você está?

Um quadro bordado em ponto-cruz que eu mesma fiz.

13. Você não tem visto nada estranho ultimamente?

Talvez. Ontem eu vi um video BIZARRO da Tarja cantando Dead Gardens ao vivo. Eu nunca vi alguém enganar as pessoas tão bem quanto ela. A voz tava um HORROR mesmo assim nego paga pau! >.< Affe, Jesus, me chicoteia...

14. O que você acha deste questionário?

Essa pergunta em si me lembrou aqueles cadernos de perguntas de quando eu estava na 6ª série.

15. Qual é o último filme que você viu?

Sete Vidas. (Seven Pounds)

16. Se você se tornar um multi-milionário da noite para o dia, o que você vai comprar?

Um ar condicionado.

17. Diga-me alguma coisa sobre você que os outros não sabem.

Vai ficar querendo saber...

18. Se você pudesse mudar uma coisa sobre o mundo, independentemente de culpa ou política, o que você faria?

Eu queria que o mundo fosse uma imensa Disney.

19. Você gosta de dançar?

Depende.

20. George Bush:

Mór-réu!

21. Imagine seu primeiro filho seja uma menina, de que nome você chamá-la?

Lorena.

22. Imagine se o primeiro filho fosse menino, como ia chamá-lo?

Adeobaldo.

23. Você viveria no estrangeiro?

"no estrangeiro", nossa... isso foi tão interioR...

24. O que você quer que Deus diga a você quando chegar aos portões do céu?

É Deus que estará lá? hm... sempre ouvi dizer que era São Pedro.


Quem quiser fazer essa tag, fique a vontade!

~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/22256088/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/22256088/ Mon, 29 Dec 2008 07:44:03 PST Hope everyone is having a good time!
I've been away, but I am always checking all messages. I really care about what you have written and fav'ed! Last days I've been traveling too much and couldn't spend such time here to draw something. But next year I have a lot of things to be fulfilled. This year had ups and downs, but I'm very very happy right now! All burden has been gone finally...

At this moment I am watching videos from my earlier days... when I used to like boybands. I thank God for enjoying those "bands" in the past, I don't need to drool over other guys anymore. When I remember that happened 10 years ago I find myself thinking "I'm really getting old..." haha
I used to love this song: [link] and this one too: [link]
It wasn't a hit, but I like.
Anyway... nostalgic things aside...

Silviaaaaaaaa muiéeee (minha pseudoprima!)
Já que ocê fez um agradecimento publico, eu tenho que dizer que viajar com você foi fodaaa!!! Minha mãe me falou que está com saudades de você, até meu pai tb! Adorei passar calor em Medianeira e Foz do Iguaçu em sua compainha! Porque não é qualquer um que aguenta mais de 42ºC na cabeça assim hahaha Aliás, ainda bem que você estava lá comigo senão não teria ninguém para me ouvir xingar pelo o que acontecia, né? hahaahhaha Espero que você não tenha ficado chateada com nada que aconteceu, mas não se preocupe que oportunidades não faltarão para a gente voltar lá! Te adoro demais fia!!! Muito mesmo!





]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/21529622/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/21529622/ Mon, 17 Nov 2008 05:57:43 PST
<sub>(The truth is... I don’t care that much about age, but 23 is a bit scary because I still feel myself like a little child!)

My dear friend Wagninho ~faith-dreamer gave me a beautiful drawing last week while I met him and Priscila (another dear friend of mine ~prialanis ) in São Paulo. I got so moved! I think it was not that hard drawing my face since I am too pale and it would not have many shading to work on.
Please, comments and favs here: [link]
Now, as he has posted it, I asked his permission to use it as my ID.
I have no words to describe the good moments we all spent together at the park, also watching Nightwish live one night before even though I was feeling so exhausted in many ways. Thank you so much fio!

Actually, I forgot to mention about the concerts that I went to. You can see the videos everywhere but nothing compares being there. The atmosphere at both concerts in São Paulo was amazing and I really got into the thing. Nightwish concert is the only one moment that I want to get loose from everything and sing/scream more than I get. I am very shy and quiet outside.
The South American Tour has been amazing for the band and almost everyone here is happy with Anette. Of course, there are some people who don’t like her and show that openly, and it might sound disrespectful. I totally agree with that, they are stupid! But I’ve seen many people arguing about our behavior as we all are haters. I truly don’t think it is respectful either. So, c’mon people… don’t talk about something/somewhere/someone you don’t know. The rumors spread on Internet don’t have the final truth.

Momento para alguns agradecimentos:
(algumas pessoas nunca irão ler, mas só para descarrego de consciência haha)
Wagninho: Caramba, muito obrigado pelo lugar na fila da Via Funchal. Sério, jamais esquecerei daquelas cascas de banana no cantinho do saco de lixo...
Pri: Tire o ódio do seu coração e esqueça o encosto da Ivetona, pelo amor da bicha! Hahahahaha
Gabriel: Obrigada pela terapia naquele dia! Eu enchi demais seu saco mas você sabe que é meu irmão mais novo!
Flávia: …eu ainda não esqueci da maldita marmita do Kabong! E da proxima vez , eu prometo não deixar o guarda-chuva em casa!
Silvão: MUIÉ! No more caipirinhas!
Valery: I will never be tired of saying how I love talking to you! Thank you for being so gentle and kind!
Bicha: BICHA!!! hahaha

Anyway… I hope to bring something new anytime soon.
See ya!</sub>

]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/21048691/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/21048691/ Sat, 18 Oct 2008 14:18:28 PDT After some time you learn the difference,
The subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning,
And company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts,
And presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats,
With your head up and your eyes ahead,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn,
That even the sun burns if you get too much,
And learn that it doesn't matter how much you do care about,
Some people simply don't care at all.
And you accept that it doesn't matter how good a person is,
She will hurt you once in a while,
And you need to forgive her for that.
You learn that talking can relieve emotional pain.
You discover that it takes several years to build a relationship based on confidence,
And just a few seconds to destroy it.
And that you can do something just in an instant,
And which you will regret for the rest of your life.
You learn that the true friendships,
Continue to grow even from miles away.
And that what matters isn't what you have in your life,
But who you have in your life.
And that good friends are the family,
Which allows us to choose.
You learn that we don't have to switch our friends,
If we understand that friends can also change.
You realize that you and your best friend can do do anything, or nothing,
And have good moments together.
You discover that the people who you most care about in your life,
Are taken from you so quickly,
So we must always leave the people who we care about with lovely words,
It may be the last time we see them.
You learn that the circumstances and the environment have influence upon us,
But we are responsible for ourselves.
You start to learn that you should not compare yourself with others,
But with the best you can be.
You discover that it takes a long time to become the person you wish to be,
And that the time is short.
You learn that it doesn't matter where you have reached,
But where you are going to.
But if you don't know where you are going to,
Anywhere will do.
You learn that either you control your acts,
Or they shall control you.
And that to be flexible doesn't mean to be weak or not to have personality,
Because it doesn't matter how delicate and fragile the situation is,
There are always two sides.
You learn that heroes are those who did what was necessary to be done,
Facing the consequences.
You learn that patience demands a lot of practice.
You discover that sometimes,
The person who you most expect to be kicked by when you fall,
Is one of the few who will help you to stand up.
You learn that maturity has more to do with the kinds of experiences you had
And what you have learned from them,
Than how many birthdays you have celebrated.
You learn that there are more from you parents inside you than you thought.
You learn that we shall never tell a child that dreams are silly,
Very few things are so humiliating,
And it would be a tragedy if she believed in it.
You learn that when you are angry,
You have the right to be angry,
But this doesn't give you the right to be cruel.
You discover that only because someone doesn't love you the way you would like
her to,
It doesn't mean that this person doesn't love you the most she can,
Because there are people who love us,
But just don't know how to show or live that.
You learn that sometimes it isn't enough being forgiven by someone,
Sometimes you have to learn how to forgive yourself.
You learn that with the same harshness you judge,
Some day you will be condemned.
You learn that it doesn't matter in how many pieces your heart has been broken,
The world doesn't stop for you to fix it.
You learn that time isn't something you can turn back,
Therefore you must plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure.
You really are strong.
And you can go so farther than you thought you could go.
And that life really has a value.
And you have value within the life.
And that our gifts are betrayers,
And make us lose
The good we could conquer,
If it wasn't for the fear of trying.

Alright, it may contain a lot of errors, but I hope the message was gi... ]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/20534937/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/20534937/ Wed, 17 Sep 2008 10:00:39 PDT It's been odd days. There are some things out of place right now and all that gloomy feeling is working on. I'm not such a sad person, actually very optimistic, but I just don't know how to deal with "normal" things in everyday life. Why is it so easy for ones and so hard for me? I really feel part of another planet. Some says "hey, you worry too much, take it less seriously" but I can't! Although, I always know a good answer to the other's problems just saying "relax a bit, everything is gonna be done and you'll feel better soon", and then: yes, they do feel better immediately! Why can't I say it to myself???
On the other hand, my life has been so good that I shouldn't complain about anything. Thank god that I've been blessed with such a caring friends and family. I love them all so much!

Anyway, I am really NOT in a mood to draw anything now. Just because I know that I can't do my best. Days ago, I get started my entry to that contest, as you know, but I am not sure if it will be done until the date. So, don't be surprised.
Otherwise, I made (last week, I think) a quick cute drawing of a very known guy in my gallery, even though I decided not to post it soon.

Ah, yesterday, I watched Mamma Mia! on the big screen. Very nice movie, indeed. I couldn't resist to sing along. I love ABBA even more now.

Clubs


]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/20339159/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/20339159/ Fri, 05 Sep 2008 11:55:06 PDT Hey!
I got 500 watchers today!!! Thank you everyoneee!!!
Celebrating this conquest, I decided to take part on contest, drawing the beautiful actress Charlize Theron. I know many others are better than me and don't have any chance, but at least I have something to do for a while. I'm still having a blocked period, so maybe it may bring a bright light. The Olympic games really had an impact on me! (E o nosso voleibol é ainda o MELHOR DO MUNDOOOO!!!)
My situation is even worse: yesterday I felt my throat scratching and then, I get a flu. Now, laziness rules.
I'll be better soon.

Tagged by

You know how it works, but, as I won’t follow it completely, the rules won’t be posted. ^^ I’m gonna write eight things about music and movies! Some notes I’ve already posted here, anyway.

1. My first favorite band ever was ABBA, from Sweden. I’ve listened to it since I was born. Really. I think my mother regretted after buying their LP “Super Trouper”, because it was played almost everyday for years! (Although, I didn’t watch Mamma Mia yet and don’t think I will any soon.)

2. I watched “The Lord of the Rings – The Return of the King” SEVEN times on screen! Yes! I don’t know how many times I have seen each movie of this trilogy at home actually, maybe more than 40. I still think the books are better. Duh. Many fans say that but the movies are incredible for me. I’m waiting for “The Hobbit”!

3. I love listening to instrumental/orchestral songs since I was a child. My father always bought some soundtracks LP’s back then. I still have it all. It is somewhat nostalgic. My favorite songs were the western ones. ^^ I had this image in my head: a man riding a horse, shooting the air and Native Americans on the mountains’ tops. (Of course, there are natives here as well, but they don’t have this romantic sign, which is a pity).

4. “Beauty and the Beast” was the first Disney classical that I watched. It blew me away. I miss this kind of film these days. And I cried watching The Lion King too! haha

5. Even though my musical taste is very eclectic right now and I am open to new things, for long years I thought I would never like Heavy Metal. I think I was like a narrow-minded person. Rock music always sounded good instead, specially bands like Pearl Jam (), Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Foo Fighters, etc. I didn’t understand why someone, apparently normal, could shake the head like a crazy pretending to make a loud sound. Then, my sister showed me Lacrimosa one day and I realized there are some many paths inside metal. I started to listen to everything. I am not a true metal fan, of course, but I wouldn’t complain about it anymore. At least, it’s better than some kind of music here. You think there are too many bad songs on the radio in your country; it is because you don’t live in Brazil. ¬¬

6. I never fall asleep watching a movie, even if it is boring. It sucks because a friend usually does and you cannot comment about something aloud. That’s why I enjoy being alone. You won’t get frustrated.

7. Music for me is all about emotion. I can’t see my life without it. I care about a song which has something to say, a message. Sometimes it is just a party song to have fun. Maybe a ballad when you feel the solitude or when all you want is to be alone. Anger, love, wish, calmness… You can feel all those feelings in one single day. But I get upset when something crosses this line and goes to beyond. I mean, I have avoided hearing some songs nowadays, just because they bring a feeling of unease to me. And I know why it happens, and it makes me sad. Those ones used to be the best in the past. I’ve learned this lesson. I don’t wanna know more than the song itself. Sometimes, music just asks you to keep this innocence alive. ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/19969823/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/19969823/ Fri, 15 Aug 2008 12:15:08 PDT Hey! 20,000 pageviews!!!
I'm so happy!
Thank you so so much!

I got a bunch of messages and favorites lately, but, unfortunately, I don't have time to answer everyone. It's too much for one single person, but I'm not complaining at all. I've never been so glad with my drawings in life. Every message here is very important. I mean it.

Anyway, I've watched The Olympic Games through the nights (due to time zone) and my parents are not at home, so, I've tried to sleep, survive from a stupid headache, manage to cook myself, feed my four cats... you know, hard work! Then, I don't have any idea for a drawing for a while. I hope I do, I wanna draw something, but don't know what!
Anyone has some suggestion? Really. I'm feeling too idler this way.

Clubs


]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/19558896/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/19558896/ Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:31:40 PDT It's just a quick entry...
I'm kinda surprised. When I submitted The Joker, I wasn't expecting such huge success. It made my day, maybe my year... oh dear... It's never gonna happen again! haha
It's more important than you think.
Anyway... as everybody else already said: go see The Dark Knight!
Listen to the wonderful soundtrack!

Thank you so much for the support!

Clubs


]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/19375311/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/19375311/ Sun, 13 Jul 2008 16:20:56 PDT First of all...
16,000 pageviews!
Thank you so much!
My latest drawing got more than 100 fav's to date, and it makes me feel very proud. I don't know how to thank everyone who comments on my drawings. I even feel guilty for being less active here nowadays, but it's very important to know you like my works. Thanks!
My next drawing is gonna be out soon, and it's been very good. Although, you know, it's not finished yet and my personal opinion may change.
I usually don't like to do commissions, but I'm enjoying this one. Sometimes, I miss to fall in love with a picture. The last time was six months ago, and even though I felt myself very sad when it got ended, it's SO amazing when you are doing something just for yourself.
Did you ever feel this way someday?

About Nightwish:
This week, I watched a video of a recent show and Anette made me feel so proud of being a Nightwish fan again. This feeling was completely lost sometime ago. I just loved her performance singing Sleeping Sun. I even think that I still follow the band because of her. She gave a fresh face to the old songs which made them so unique. Also, I got all songs from Dark Passion Play album played just by the orchestra. AMAZING! I wish everyone could hear it someday.
It gives me ideas for a new drawing (hehe). I've avoided to think of it because I drew them so much, but don't know... maybe that's the passion I was talking about. Nothing concrete yet, let's see.

Nah... university is back, my headache too and... I need to practice my English more! AHGR!

Edit: It's been exactly three years since my first drawing! I was looking at all my drawings now and I had a nostalgic feeling. If I could repeat something in my life, I'd choose to draw this portrait [link] for the first time again.

Clubs


]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/19091083/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/19091083/ Sat, 28 Jun 2008 10:52:45 PDT About my next drawings...
I've collected some ideas but as I want to make all together, I lose all my energy!
Then I decided to do a commission. I usually don't like it, but it's a special case. All I can say right now it's gonna be a famous actor who I'm not such a fan. A friend of mine has asked me a long time ago and I couldn't say no. I've missed to draw a male face nowadays. It'll be fun.
I've studied to make animals too although I'm not so good yet. Help!



_{Sabe uma coisa que odeio?... às vezes eu tenho costume de fazer/falar algo e sempre aquilo funcionava muito bem. Por algum motivo, quase sempre imbecil, alguma coisa muda e se quebra. Eu sinto tanta falta de falar sobre algo, e as circunstâncias simplesmente não deixam! Aí, parece que chega num ponto que não tem mais volta, pois, por mais que eu saiba que não estou fazendo nada de errado, tenho a impressão que nem vale mais a pena. É inútil. Não só porque algo mudou (eu ainda acredito na reminiscência das coisas!), mas talvez o que falo/faço não tenha mais sentido ou até pior, quando você sente que aquilo é um incômodo (seja lá em que sentido). E isso dói. Eu não agüento mais, saca? Tudo tem limite.}

]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/18757073/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/18757073/ Mon, 09 Jun 2008 21:32:13 PDT If it wouldn't bother you, I wanna share my past experiences...
I've seen Nightwish twice with the previous singer... the first one was truly wild! She was ill and the concert was cancelled and postponed to the following night. I don't live near to Sao Paulo (approx. 600km from here), so I had to sleep in the street along a bunch of fans! After a bloody summer rain on Sunday, the show began and rocked! The best moment of my life until that time. During 90 minutes singing all songs fully, I even forgot my own name (you can "hear" the first song here [link] while it's almost impossible due to screaming ). It rewarded the three nights (including my whole tour) with no good sleeping, no bathing (and actually, no decent bathroom as well!), no food, no free water and the killer WAITING.
The second time was ten months later, at a festival, in Sao Paulo again. That night, they would open to Scorpions. I think, technically the concert was ok, but for me, it was weird. Maybe you would think I just realized that after the letter, but no. I went with my sweet sister (who is a great fan of the band as well) and at the end of the show, we both said "it was a crap..." Of course, it wasn't, but maybe "crappy"... anyway... I don't have really good memories of it, even though, to hear a thousands and thousands of people singing Kuolema Tekee Taiteilijan, which made Tarja almost shed tears, was nice.
Although, both experiences were distinct, I had the same gloomy feeling after each one of them. Maybe because I'd waited so much, and a long waiting usually creates a huge expectation.
I know that I will feel it again in November. Actually, 17th November is my birthday! (23 years old!!!) Just hope to come here and say that was a good trip after all.
I really wanna sing Wishmaster live! It's not my favorite song, and I know how it must bother the members nowadays, but... nah, it's so playful. The most important thing is: I am not such a God believer but I'm gonna pray to heaven that Anette will be healthy here! While the weather is not so delightful in the Spring.

At the university, the period is coming to the end, so I got a hundred exams next weeks. Because of that, I decided not to think in drawings for some days. I really need to concentrate more. I'll try to keep an eye here, though.
I wanna apologize everyone if I didn't answer all comments, favs and the watchers, I just don't have such a time anymore. Let me tell you that all words are really important for me! Please, if you wanna criticize something, give a hint, tell a story, go ahead! Maybe you see something that I am not.

I just wanna improve myself without changing my mind. I mean, I love doing very detailed portraits. That's all I long for. It's not a shame. There is a place for all kind of art these days. Otherwise, I've been somewhat lost in this path. I try not to think so much about it, as that advice days ago, but it blows my head sometimes. I think this temporary (and necessary) break could help me a bit.

Thank you everyone for being so kind with me!!!




]]> ~Esteljf http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/18579398/ http://Esteljf.deviantart.com/journal/18579398/ Fri, 30 May 2008 15:39:57 PDT



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