http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Fall-Out-Grrl&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Fall-Out-Grrl en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 20 Dec 2009 05:23:02 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Fall-Out-Grrl.deviantart.com/journal/15898110/ http://Fall-Out-Grrl.deviantart.com/journal/15898110/ Wed, 12 Dec 2007 01:50:17 PST start-static

If you feel compelled to do so, please follow me over to this new account and continue your invaluable support in a new setting where I can value your contributions properly.

Much love to you all.


Please show your support and visit:


]]> ~Fall-Out-Grrl http://Fall-Out-Grrl.deviantart.com/journal/13359749/ http://Fall-Out-Grrl.deviantart.com/journal/13359749/ Fri, 15 Jun 2007 18:14:08 PDT
So, as my name suggests, I feel it is due time for a change.

This account reflects elements of a mindset I left behind months ago, and thus to me it is no longer a reflection of 'me' as the person I am now.

And isn't art all about self-expression?

I would like this account to be an expression of myself as I am now, but even the name of this account prevents me from doing so. (As I have long moved on from my fallout boy stage.)

Hence ladies and gentlemen, I am starting a-fresh.
A new deviantART account to reflect my new perspective life in general.

To view it, please visit:
~start-static

I have no intention of deleting THIS account just yet. As I still have an attachment to many of the comments, favourites, and watchers that have encouraged me to keep creating art.

BUT, I hope my new account might surpass this one in pageviews and watches eventually (that's where you guys come in lol).

In closing, there is a new Deviation on my ~start-static account, and I would love it if you could mosey over there and tell me what you think.

Feel free to comment on this journal because I'll still be checking this account on a regular basis.

Thank you all so very very much!

Alanna

]]> ~Fall-Out-Grrl http://Fall-Out-Grrl.deviantart.com/journal/11902861/ http://Fall-Out-Grrl.deviantart.com/journal/11902861/ Wed, 21 Feb 2007 00:52:28 PST
Thankyou for all of the lovely comments, helpful critiques, flattering favourites, and lastly all of the watches from my dear dear friends!!

I love you all!


Al

]]> ~Fall-Out-Grrl http://Fall-Out-Grrl.deviantart.com/journal/10784062/ http://Fall-Out-Grrl.deviantart.com/journal/10784062/ Mon, 20 Nov 2006 00:43:33 PST [link]) contains some pretty heavy issues which probably shouldn't be on the front page of my dA account.

Feel free to read the aforementioned journal, it's just moved to free up space on this page (because it was very long) and because it addresses some confronting issues...


Fall-Out-Grrl

]]> ~Fall-Out-Grrl http://Fall-Out-Grrl.deviantart.com/journal/10773331/ http://Fall-Out-Grrl.deviantart.com/journal/10773331/ Sun, 19 Nov 2006 03:24:52 PST NOTE: This journal is not meant to be a plea for attention, nor is it meant to be a bitch about the things i have experienced and how bad they were.
The reality is that i have a family who love me, friends who would give their lives for me and a life that has thrown me many opportunities.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, with the disclaimer aside, this journal is a brief insight into my life. It is being written in the hope that it might give somebody, or anybody, a bit of an understanding of some of the things i have experienced over the last 2 or so years.

If you can't be bothered to read the whole thing (understandable) please take note of the following:
DO NOT call people emo - it hurts and it doesn't help anyone
DO NOT sledge people for cutting - sure, it's an awful habit, but so's smoking.
DO try to help people out - if they're down, tell them how much you value them.
DO NOT tell people to 'go die emo' if they are down - when you're depressed you take insults literally.
PLEASE TRY to be nice to everyone - i know it's hard, but it makes dA a better place.

Thankyou.


Now, onto my life story...

First of all, I may as well start from the beginning of many of the problems i have experienced over the last few years.

This means that i have to address a significant event in my life which still causes me a fair amount of grief to this day.

The following is NOT something I enjoy talking about, mainly because i despise the sympathy it instigates. I don't like people knowing this because i never want it to be used as an excuse for my actions. I am in control of my life, and i am well aware of it.

But back to the story, this 'significant' event happened just over one year ago. At the time i had been suffering mild clinical depression for about a year and was having trouble coping with a life that was, in hindsight, perfect the way it was. The depression was only mild but it was relentless, it left me lacking the usual resilience and optimism that many people knew me, and depended on me, for.

As you have probably noticed, and i myself am well aware of this, I am avoiding the issue altogether, so i may as well come out and say it: In October of last year, I was raped.

Even a year later i still don't like to address the details of this day, but i will give you whatever insight i can into how i was feeling at this point in time.

The best i can give you is probably this:
Imagine hatred beyond anything you've ever felt, mix that with fear, and guilt burning in the pit of your stomach and then imagine never being able to make it go away.

That's just a little bit of what it felt like for me.

Needless to say it was horrible, and it fucked up my life quite profoundly. Not to mention that the depression i was experiencing before it happened wasn't helped by the post traumatic stress.

Psychologist, counsellors, GP's... I saw the lot and none of them helped. Every person I turned to seemed to be judging me, labelling me with some acute disorder or disease or telling my parents everything.

The latter was the worst. Don't get me wrong, i love my parents with all my heart, but i knew they were hurting too and having a psychologist telling them i was suicidal and bordering on manic depression really didn't help.

At that stage i had basically all but given up.

I had isolated myself from my friends, pushed away those who tried to help and i was addicted to self-harming.

Self harm. Now there's the buzz word of the new millenium. If you believe any of the stigma surrounding cutting or self-harm stop reading, if you're going to judge stop reading, and if you're going to leave "you fucking emo" comments - fuck off altogether.

Firstly, I realise self-harm is incredibly hard to understand to those who have never experienced it, i mean who CAN understand somebody intentionally injuring themselves?? Even I know that's crazy, and i did it.

But, I may as well tell you why I did it, in the hope that it will help you understand.

It was mainly a release, an outlet for everything i was feeling.
I had so many paranoid and suicidal thoughts screaming at me that i needed to concentrate elsewhere.
I couldn't feel anything sometimes, just numbness... my body would just shutdown i guess - I wouldn't feel, I wouldn't eat, I wasn't sad, I wasn't happy... And the pain brought me back to reality.
Pain was all i had left that i could control, I had no control over my emotions or my sleep... It was a last resort for me. I felt in control when i did it. (I know that's sickening)
Scientifically, any form of pain rele... ]]> ~Fall-Out-Grrl http://Fall-Out-Grrl.deviantart.com/journal/10681165/ http://Fall-Out-Grrl.deviantart.com/journal/10681165/ Fri, 10 Nov 2006 15:34:03 PST Nortenyo

His works are up there with those of *ANTIFAN-REAL, =I-NetGraFX and ~skybolt (also artists you should check out in your spare time if you haven't already.)

And now comes the important part. Nortenyo has been on DA for around 6 months, has some absolutely AMAZING works... and yet he only has 500 or so pageviews.

He's been on my watch list for about a month since i came across his page, and i've seen nothing but outstanding works come from his artistically-gifted noggin.

So please, show some love to our newer artists and go hit up *Nortenyo's page!

And if you don't believe me that this guy is something special, have a look at some of his best works:
Cold Planet II
Leviathan Colored
The Dream Of Flight
Skull Study 2

Check out his gallery and show him some love!



]]> ~Fall-Out-Grrl