http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Fallout-Laen&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Fallout-Laen en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 12 Dec 2009 02:20:34 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/7074398/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/7074398/ Thu, 17 Nov 2005 18:07:07 PST

SHEESH.

Moving on, shall we? ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6955419/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6955419/ Fri, 04 Nov 2005 16:30:55 PST
'It's better to burn out than fade away'

I'm taking that pill. I'm going to sleep. I'm becoming a star. I'm killing myself. ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6909657/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6909657/ Sun, 30 Oct 2005 18:52:35 PST ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6866026/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6866026/ Tue, 25 Oct 2005 16:25:08 PDT

ENVYFACE. ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6742225/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6742225/ Tue, 11 Oct 2005 18:23:38 PDT
you let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you

help me
I broke apart my insides, help me I’ve got no soul to sell
help me
the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself

I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal

my whole existence is flawed
you get me closer to god

you can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings
you can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything

help me
tear down my reason, help me its' your sex I can smell
help me
you make me perfect, help me become somebody else

I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal

my whole existence is flawed

you get me closer to god

through every forest, above the trees
within my stomach, scraped off my knees
I drink the honey inside your hive
you are the reason I stay alive ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6672074/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6672074/ Mon, 03 Oct 2005 19:10:44 PDT

Roxanne...!

You don't have to put on the red light...
Those days are over,
You don't have to sell your body to the night!

ROX~Annnne...!

You don't have to wear that dress to~night!
Walk the streets for money,
You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right!

ROX!~Aaanne!

You don't have to put on the redlight!

ROX~Anne!

You don't have to put on the rediiiight!!

I loved you since I knew ya,
I wouldn't talk down to yaaaa!
I have to tell you just how I feel...
I won't share you with another boy...

I know my mind is made up!
So put away your make uuuup!!!
Told you once; I won't tell you again,
It's a bad waaaay...

ROOX!~Anne!
You don't have to put on the redlight!
ROOX~ANNEE!

ROX~Anne!
You don't have to put on the rediiiight

You don't have to put on the red light...
put on the red light...
put on the red liiight...

I loved you since I knew ya,
I wouldn't talk down to ya!
I have to tell you just how I feel...
I won't share you with another boy...

I know my mind is made uuup!
So put away your make uuuuup!!!
Told you once; I won't tell you again,
It's a bad way...

ROX~Anne!
You don't have to put on the reeedlight!
ROX~Anne!
You don't have to put on the redliiight!

Put on the red light!
Put on the red light!
Put on the red light!
You don't have to put on the red light!

Rox~aaaanna!

ROX~AAAAAN~NA!

ROX~AAAAAN~NA!

ROX~AAAAAAAAAN~AAAAAH~NA!! ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6646256/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6646256/ Fri, 30 Sep 2005 21:27:10 PDT THIS IS HALLOWEEN, THIS IS HALLOWEEN
THIS IS HALLOWEEN, THIS IS HALLOWEEN
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THIS I... ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6575947/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6575947/ Thu, 22 Sep 2005 18:53:31 PDT Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel
Like I am home again.
Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am whole again.

Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel
Like I am young again.
Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am fun again,

However far away: I will always love you.
However long I stay: I will always love you.
Whatever words I say: I will always love you.
...I will always love you

Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am free again.
Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am clean again.

However far away: I will always love you.
However long I stay: I will always love you.
Whatever words I say: I will always love you.
...I will always love you ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6555435/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6555435/ Tue, 20 Sep 2005 14:22:53 PDT i had visions, i was in them
i was looking into the mirror
to see a little bit clearer
rottenness and evil in me

fingertips have memories
mine can't forget the curves of your body
and when i feel a bit naughty
i run it up the flagpole and see who salutes
(but no one ever does)

i'm not sick but i'm not well
and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell

been around the world and found
that only stupid people are breeding
the cretins cloning and feeding
and i don't even own a tv

put me in the hospital for nerves
and then they had to commit me
you told them all i was crazy
they cut off my legs now i'm an amputee, god damn you

i'm not sick but i'm not well
and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and it's a sin to live so well

i wanna publish zines
and rage against machines
i wanna pierce my tongue
it doesn't hurt, it feels fine
the trivial sublime
i'd like to turn off time
and kill my mind
you kill my mind

paranoia paranoia
everybody's coming to get me
just say you never met me
i'm going underground with the moles
hear the voices in my head
i swear to god it sounds like they're snoring
but if you're bored then you're boring
the agony and the irony, they're killing me

i'm not sick but i'm not well
and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and it's a sin to live so well ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6496069/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6496069/ Tue, 13 Sep 2005 16:19:36 PDT You make it hard to breathe
It's as if I'm suffocating
And when you're next to me
I can feel your heartbeat through my skin
It makes me sad to think
This all could be for nothing
I wish there was a way
For you to see inside of me
I've never felt this way
About anyone or anything
Tell me
What do I have to do to make you happy?
What do I have to do to make you understand?
What do I have to do to make you want me?
And, if I can't make you want me
What do I have to do?

I know exactly what you're thinking
But I swear this time I will not let you down
I'm not as selfish as I used to be
That was a part of me that never made me proud
Right now I think I would try anything
Anything at all to keep you satisfied
God I hope you see what loving you would do to me
All I want is one more chance, so tell me...
What do I have to do to make you love me? ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6433979/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6433979/ Tue, 06 Sep 2005 16:30:19 PDT
Let's all move on. ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6433339/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6433339/ Tue, 06 Sep 2005 15:23:19 PDT
IAN, as in, ME, CANNOT have ANYTHING he EVER wants.



...Ever.

Birthday party [Those little shits for the past five years of "HERE! Take this CUPCAKE and COOKIE and BOOKS! MAYBE SOME MONEY! BE HAPPY] aren't birthdays. I'm finally in my FUCKING HOME with people who are SUPPOSED give just a LITTLE bit of care about me and I ask for a BIRTHDAY PARTY.

Granted, I know it's 800$ dollars to rent whatever damn place Alina suggested but...

..To just flat-out say "Ian, No. We can't afford it." is LYING TO MY FACE.

How can my MOM, who goes out almost EVERY night on a date, buys a pair of shoes, shirts, pants, or purses almost EVERY OTHER WEEK, and gets a 40$ FUCKING HAIRCUT, say we CAN'T AFFORD ANYTHING?

Obviously, since she still HAS HER EX-HUSBAND (who still doesn't know she's about to MARRY some other guy) SUPPORTING HER and GIVING HER MONEY, well, you know, we're just flat-broke. I mean. He's only the PRESIDENT OF HIS OWN FUCKING COMPANY?!

We'RE SO POOR! GOD!

I guess she can spend ALL SHE FUCKING WANTS but when it comes to her SON she can't spend JACK.

Ian: "Hey mom, can I get these new shoes?"
Mom: (looks at the price) "70$, WE CAN'T AFFORD THIS?!"
Ian: "Fine." (Obviously, I'm kinda disappointed here.)
Mom: "FINE! We'LL GET THEM! JUST STOP BEING S DAMN DEPRESSED!"
Ian: O.o

it just doesn't make sense. At all.

I mean. We can't even AFFORD FOOD. AT ALL. But...Wait, she's going to buy food? What? AND SHE'S GOING OUT LATER? WTF?

HOW CAN SHE SAY SHE ONLY HAS 69 DOLLARS TO HER NAME?

Life just doesn't make sense. And it' not very fair. Maybe I'm being a bitchy little brat, maybe I'm being selfish; but, I still don't get that, if my last step-dad is supporting us, and we have some EXTRA money because SESO costs A LOT LESS than FLORIDA AIR ACADEMY (Seso - 2000 something. FAA - 50,000 something.) I still don't get how SHE CAN'T ASK HIM TO HELP OUT.


...Whatever. I might not make sense, you might not care. I just felt like writing this down so I wouldn't end up punching/breaking my window again. Whatever.

[I'm bitchy. I know. Whatever.]

- End ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6400300/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6400300/ Fri, 02 Sep 2005 19:34:35 PDT ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6370262/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6370262/ Tue, 30 Aug 2005 15:06:47 PDT ANDICANTURNTOTHEBOXFORSOMEPEACE
ORTHEBOXFORAPIECE
ORTHEBOXFORASMOKE
BUTTHEY'REALLGONNACHOKEME

ANDNOWI'MDOWNSTRAIGHTUP
ANDICANTURNTOTHEBOXFORSOMEPEACE
ORTHEBOXFORAPIECE
ORTHEBOXFORASMOKE
BUTTHEY'REALLGONNACHOKEME

YOU'RE!!SOCRAZY!!YOU'R!SO!CRAZY!YOUR!!SOCRAZY!
ENOUGHOFAWAYTOPROBABLYSAYYOUDESTROYEDME

[Hahagiggle]
It's like a fucking drug deal...
[hahagiggle]
Calling you back...
and you calling me back...
It's fucked up but it's just made me want you worse...

FORAWHILEIWASCLEANERTHENOW
THENISTARTEDTODESTROYMYSELF
WITHTHINGSTHATILOVE/NOWTHETHIGSTHATIHATE
UNTILITFINALLYBROKEME!!!

YOU'RE!!SOCRAZY!!YOU'R!SO!CRAZY!YOUR!!SOCRAZY!
ENOUGHOFAWAYTOPROBABLYSAYYOUDESTROYEDME


FUCK!!!
FUCKMYASS!!
FUCKMYASS!!

CHOKEME!!
CHOKEME!!
CHOKEME!!!

...as of now I'm down straight up
And I can turn to the box for some peace
Or a box for a piece
Or a box for a smoke
But they're all gonna choke me...

YOU'RE!!SOCRAZY!!YOU'R!SO!CRAZY!YOUR!!SOCRAZY!
ENOUGHOFAWAYTOPROBABLYSAYYOUDESTROYEDME

[INSERPAIN.] ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6351380/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6351380/ Sun, 28 Aug 2005 13:55:55 PDT He is the fox; nubile, spider-eating, nimble
I am the dog; fox-killing, muderous, hunter
He is the tick; disease carrying, biting, blood-sucking.
I am the bird; tick eating, immune, flyer.
He is the cat; lithe, graceful, bird-slaughtering
I am the eagle; regal, fast, prey-hunter.
He is the dire wolf; patron of lupin, gargantuan, bird-eating.
I am the horse; lean, muscular, head-cracking.
He is the hunter; spear-throwing, smart, human.
I am malaria; sickening, infecting, human-killing
He is the innoculation; adminestered, purifying, germ-destroying.
I am the black plague; fetid, skin-devouring, uncurable.
He is the king inside his castle; safe, secure, pristine.
I am the red death; infiltrating, blood-expunging, deadliest of all.
He is the author; placing his pen down, erasing the existence of his monster, letting everything back into his mind.
I am psychosis; madness, insanity-giver, mind-destroyer.
He is death; letting go of all, giving into insanity, freed.
I am the grave-robber; body-searcher, desecrater, corpse destroyer
He is the falling masoleum; corpse-thief killing, erasing of evidence, destruction.
I am the great flood; sweeping away of all, destroying, swallowing.
He is the desert; dry, unforgiving, water-less.
I am the monsoon; desert-reviving, rain-pouring, life-giving.
He is pollution; cloud-burning, air devouring, planet raping.
I am the Sun; life-giving, cleansing, Earth-healing.
He is the supernova; star-killer, erasure, all-mighty explosion

I am the black-fire sun; all-consuming, eradicating,
all-devourer.

He is the white-dwarf, solidying, madness-unifying, solid

I am the collapsing universe; destroyed, imploding in on itself, chaos incarnated.

He is the quantum singularity; unifying, peace-giving, reviver

I am Entropy; natural-death, all-killer, decimation, devourer of all.

He is Life; never-stopping, always going, Entropy defying

I am Time; inevitable, Life ending, endless.

He is the Paradox; unnatural, reality-bending, looping time.

I am the Erasure; god of the end, the end-beast, all consuming.

He is GOD; giver of life, omnipotent, omni-everything.

I am LUCIFER; Star-burner, Morningstar, defier.

He is HELL and FIRE; entraping, tormenting, Kingdom of the abdandoned.

I am EDEN; Perfect, without equal, Paradise.

He is EVE; fruit-picker, curious, Eden destroyer

I am CHRIST; Salvation, the SON, Giver of hope

He is LONGINIUS; Christ-piercer, GOD-killer, profane.

I am HOPE

....He is Despair.

I am LOVE

...He is HATE

I am PEACE

...He is WAR

I am...

Giving up?

I am MAN; fate-changer, time-bender, GOD of his own MIND


...................I am......................................... ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6325148/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6325148/ Thu, 25 Aug 2005 13:19:28 PDT
Stop threatening people. I don't want to have to send my Cthuthulu clones after you.


[Elder gods chew meals 121349587123409587143095 times ] ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6318520/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6318520/ Wed, 24 Aug 2005 18:48:48 PDT
IF I'M SO MISUNDERSTOOD THAN WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE A REASON FOR IT EXCEPT ME?

THERE WERE THINGS DOWN THERE THAT WE WERE ALL WAITING FOR/THINGS IN MY PANTS THAT I HAD NO USE FOR

FUCK YOU ALL

THIS IS MINDLESSSELFINDULGENCE.

WHEN I SAY [WE] YOU SAY [SUCK]

WE...
WE...

SUCK [DICK]


FUCK YA'LL ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6308424/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6308424/ Tue, 23 Aug 2005 16:37:03 PDT
"MARCHASONEANDTAKEOVERTHEWORLDMYTEDIZ!!!1" ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6272798/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6272798/ Fri, 19 Aug 2005 16:46:02 PDT
I'm an asshole.

You'll never see it though. Ever. I'll smother myself with saccharine grins and immature thought patterns. I won't let you break through. I'm inside of an ever-twisting enigma. Don't talk to me. I don't want to see your smile.

Don't. Look. At. Me.

Freaks don't deserve kindness; we destroy everything we feel for.


So, I ask... Is anyone dead yet? ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6245558/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6245558/ Tue, 16 Aug 2005 17:21:41 PDT
forget everything. I'd let you fall and shatter. Forget the love. Forget the look. Everything you've ever heard is a lie. Love is just a hoax.

So now, what? I lie and say I never felt for you? [The lie makes better poetry ] Or do I pine for what I could never [wasnevere] given [allowed] to have?

Beat him down. Bite your tongue. Nothing ever shines on the broken one.

You gave me a broken heart. I want to give you a broken face. Fuck being a guy and being a girl. We're human beings and you don't toy with emotions like that.

- Tripiando is not something you do with someone's feelings.

And I descend from grace.
In arms of undertow
And I will take my place
In the great below. ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6219513/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6219513/ Sat, 13 Aug 2005 20:37:15 PDT What is love?

Is it the feeling you get that has no description?
Is it quivering knees and screaming orgasms?
Is it wanting and waiting for that magic moment?
Is it insanity?

I'd throw myself down for you and cushion your fall. If I wasn't there, you would fall and shatter. I would pick up the pieces. I would glue them back together and make everything alright.

Is it thinking of the person who dominates your thoughts?
Is it...

Don't make me do this. I don't want to speak. You leave me breathless and choke me. I can't speak. I don't want to. Let me bask in the radiance. [How cliche is that?] I want you. Period.

Is it.. This?
It is... That?
Is it...

I can't say it out loud. I won't. It'll break the magic of being passive. I love you too much to compromise or engender our relationship.

I don't know what love is but I think this is it:

-[ A spanish flower by any other name, A pair of malachite eyes, a Viberance of life.] ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6117750/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6117750/ Wed, 03 Aug 2005 11:35:52 PDT
Yes, the feeble-minded are easily swayed. Blame, me. Yep ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6071915/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/6071915/ Fri, 29 Jul 2005 21:12:28 PDT
I've returned; but, only to write a quick journal to accomplish two things. The first: I'll start posting tonight, only two or three things, and then, starting about mid-august I'll return as a full time Deviant. (My laptop is bugging out on me as we speak, and I cannot get on the STUPID NET! GAH! I HATE SYNTAC ERRORS!) Anyhoo, yeah... Expect some distrubing angst stuff tonight... I've had a really rough day of self-evaluation and or arguing with my mother. Please excuse anything too angsty.

So... Yeah. Hope to become a semi-popular deviant now, and I really need someone to cry on tonight. I wonder where Adara is...

-End transmission ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/5814501/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/5814501/ Fri, 01 Jul 2005 18:33:40 PDT
Yaoi - Noun, origin - Japanese, Translated simply, Boy on Boy action. Gay relations. Things like that. Shonen Ai also has something to do with it...

And.. I'm asking myself why?

Why, why, why, why THE FUCK IS YAOI SO GODDAMN POPULAR?!

IS IT BECAUSE IT'S KAWAII? HUH?! IS IT BECAUSE IT'S THE EASIEST THING TO WRITE FOR PREPUBESCENT TEENS??!?!?1

YAOI IS WRITTEN BY FANGIRLS, AND FANGIRLS ARE RAPING OUR FAVORITE ANIME'S WITH BIG, BLACK, SPIKED DILDOS, OKAY? YAOI HAS MANAGED TO LITERALLY MAKE PEOPLE SICK OF WRITING FANFICTION.

EIGHT, yes, you read that write, EIGHT OF THE BEST WRITERS IN NARUTO FANFICTION HAVE LITERALLY SAID "NO, I will not write that which I love to write any longer", because of Yaoi. Yaoi gets more pageviews, more reviews and comments handsdown, EVEN IF IT'S CRAP!!!

PLEASE, CAN WE GET A CLUE HERE PEOPLE? 99.9% OF YAOI IS WRITTEN BY PEOPLE WHO DO NOT DESERVE TO BE WRITING IN THE FIRST PLACE. YAOI IS WRITTEN BY FANGIRLS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO!!!

IT'S CRAP ON THE LARGEST TOLERATED SCALE I HAVE EVER SEEN!

IT HAS NOT SUBSTANCE! IT HAS NO REASON! HALF THE THE GODDAMN PAIRINGS WOULD NEVERE HAPPEN, AND THE AUTHORS OF YAOI ALWAYS RAPE THE CHARACTERS TO SATISFY THEIR OWN GROTESQUE FANTASIES!!!

Example : Naruto X Sasuke... :: Literally slams head against desk. :: I'm am so frustrated with this damn pairing because it is as close to Cannon ((MAYBE! BIG FUCKING IF HERE)) In the Naruto universe... ALL THE OTHERS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!!!


I... I just can't take opening up Fanfiction.net anymore, or Adultfanfiction.net for that matter. I did so today, and guess what, the ENTIRE FIRST PAGE OF UPDATES WAS YAOI! NO HETEROSEXUAL PAIRINGS, NO ACTION-ADVENTURE STORIES, NOTHING WITH SUBSTANCE!!!

YAOI HAS TAKEN OVER EVERYTHING!!!!

- This has been a rant. PLEASE TAKE IT SERIOUSLY AND GO TO FANFICTION.NET FOR YOURSELF. LOOK, AND DIG THROUGH THE FUCKING YAOI AND TRY TO FIND A GOOD FIC!!! I DARE YOU!!! ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/5470756/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/5470756/ Thu, 26 May 2005 18:13:20 PDT
Mood: HOLY CRAP
Listening to: Buried Myself Alive - The Used
Reading: Algebra 1
Watching: Naruto The Movie

HOLY CRAP I GOT A FREE SUBSCTRIBTIoN YESYEYSYEYSYSYE!!!

]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/5449050/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/5449050/ Tue, 24 May 2005 14:45:58 PDT
IN ONE TRY..TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR:

((Using laptop, so be forewarned))

FINGERS:Ian
CHIN: ikz n
ONE FINGER WITH EYES CLOSED: ian
CHEEK: jkzxs h
ELBOW: kiaz n
LIPS: ian
PALM: ianh
BACK OF HAND: iiann
NOSE: ian
TONGUE: ian ((Proudness))


-----------------DESCRIBE--------------- ---

-- YOUR HERITAGE: 100% Puerto Rican babeh!
-- THE SHOES YOU WORE TODAY: Anarchic black studded ones
-- YOUR EYES: Greenish-Gray, sometimes blue
-- YOUR WEAKNESS: Can't keep money in one place, let myself pushed around to much
-- YOUR FEARS: Making phone calls, getting the shit beaten out of me, having someone I love die
-- ONE THING YOU'D LIKE TO ACHIEVE: Make myself stronger so that I can take care of the people I love

-----------------WHAT IS------------------

-- YOUR THOUGHTS FIRST WAKING UP: Shit... not this again.

-- THE FIRST FEATURE YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: figure/eyes
-- THE FIRST FEATURE YOU NOTICE IN THE SAME SEX: musculature
-- YOUR BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE: Eyes. Definitively my eyes. And I love my body.
-- YOUR BEDTIME: anywhere b/twn 9:30 - 1:00 am
-- YOUR GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Being published

-- YOUR MOST MISSED MEMORY: Anything I dream

-----------------YOU PREFER------------------

-- PEPSI OR COKE: Vanilla pepsi
-- MCDONALD'S OR BURGER KING: Whichever is nearest

-- SINGLE OR GROUP DATES: Single

-- ADIDAS OR NIKE: WTF? NO!!!
-- CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Vanilla all the damn way!
-- CAPPUCCINO OR COFFEE: I'm hyper enough as it is...

-----------------DO YOU------------------

-- SMOKE: Fuck no. I like my lungs.
-- CUSS: Too much
-- TAKE A SHOWER EVERYDAY: I try too. Military school sometimes P.T's us at night and they don't let us take showers

-- TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS: Half the time I do.
-- GET MOTION SICKNESS: No
-- THINK YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE: Fuck no, though people seem to think enough
-- THINK YOU'RE A HEALTH FREAK: Urm. No.
-- GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: No fucking comment ::glare::
-- PLAY AN INSTRUMENT: I'm a vocalist, does that count?

------------IN THE PAST MONTH DID:/:HAVE YOU--------------

-- DRANK ALCOHOL: No
-- SMOKE(D): no
-- DONE A DRUG: Never
-- HAVE SEX: Wish I did... I missed Adara
-- MADE OUT: Again, Wish I did.
-- GO ON A DATE: I'm at an all boy's military school... So, no.
-- GO TO THE MALL: Yeah. Almost got in trouble too. >.>
-- EATEN SUSHI: Nope
-- BEEN ON STAGE: Nope
-- BEEN DUMPED: No
-- GONE SKATING: No
-- MADE HOMEMADE COOKIES: I can barely cook mac n' cheese!
-- DYED YOUR HAIR: ((Cries)) I MISS MY BLUE HIGHLIGHTS!!!
-- STOLEN ANYTHING: Accidently... I SWEAR!

-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------

-- FLOWN ON A PLANE: Every summer, spring, winter, and break
-- MISSED SCHOOL BECAUSE IT WAS RAINING?: I WISH!
-- TOLD A GUY/GIRL THAT YOU LIKED THEM?: All the time. Get rejected more than often than not, though.
-- CRIED DURING A MOVIE?: It was the Lion king, sue me.
-- EVER THOUGHT AN ANIMATED CHARACTER WAS HOT?: No comment :ogles the artworks of Croaky.::
-- HAD AN IMAGINARY FRIEND: Yea. Many. They live inside my head.
-- BEEN ON STAGE?: Yessum
-- CUT YOUR HAIR: Not my own.
-- HAD CRUSH ON A TEACHER?: Once...
-- PLAYED A GAME THAT REQUIRED REMOVAL OF CLOTHING?: Yes, and I absofuckinglutely loved it.
-- BEEN TRASHED OR EXTREMELY INTOXICATED: Not to my recollection...
-- BEEN CAUGHT "DOING SOMETHING": Not to my paren'ts knowledge ::big smile::
-- BEEN CALLED A TEASE: Not to my face... Wait... yeah. Stripping at a mall can get you only so far...
-- GOTTEN BEATEN UP?: Not that bad. Ya should've seen the other guy!
-- BEEN IN A FIGHT: A whole bunch
-- SHOPLIFTED: Not intentionally, I'm just THAT scatterbrained.

-----------------THE FUTURE------------------

-- AGE YOU HOPE TO BE MARRIED: With the right person, at the right time, in the right setting, it could happen
-- NUMBERS AND NAMES OF CHILDREN: Never. I'm not that responsible... The little buggers could DIE ON ME!
-- DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING: A small gathering somewhere I treasure, with only the people I truly care about. Which means..... Maybe no parents.

-- HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE?: In my sleep, or falling backwards into the arms of... ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/4857879/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/4857879/ Sat, 19 Mar 2005 20:50:48 PST
Still on mild-hiatus because my brain hurts... ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/4660292/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/4660292/ Thu, 24 Feb 2005 07:47:07 PST
Check out my fanfiction.net account if you want any sort of writing stuff. ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/4351684/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/4351684/ Tue, 18 Jan 2005 12:54:35 PST Date: 1-18-04

---------------------------------------- ----------------------------------


Okay, this is just venting...Feel TOTALLY free to not pay attention...


Hate, I totally hate all of the junior staff at my school.

they act like they all have some giant standard to fucking hold up to. Its annoying, having someone younger than you write you up for the smallest things...

Its fucking stupid, having a kid a year younger/older than you (Sometimes even NEW, sometimes not even being at the school for as long as you have) tell you what to do...


Thats All I have to say, Next time you see me, I'll probably be hurting someone... ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/4246583/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/4246583/ Wed, 05 Jan 2005 14:00:44 PST Mood:: Slightly issed:
Listening To:: Cut Up Angels, The Used

Writing:: A Daemon's Artefact |Revising All| and "Of Zoanathropes And Vampires" |1-3|

---------------------------------------- ----------------------------------

Book:: "A Hunger Like Fire" by Greg Stolze
"The Blue Girl" by Charles de Lint
"Wolvering: Weapon X" by Marc Cerasini

Tv/Movie:: Invader Zim
Projects:: "Antithesis Of Dragons"
Talking To:: Roommates, Online Peeps

Favorite Songs Of The Moment

"I'm Fake" The Used
"Judith" A Perfect Circle
"Rammstein" Rammstein
"Moana" Deftones


The Date And Mood

January 5th and I'm in a ranty mood...

Newness And Ranticity!

First, the good non-ranty news...

I WENT TO PUERTO RICO!

I saw my family, saw my long-time friends, saw my Girlfriend, got TONS of presents (Adara-chan, your present(s) were the Best!), I got a new dog, (Say hello to...Snoopy III!!!!)

I got to hang out with my dad-who is the coolest dude in the world. I got to shoot off a crap load of fireworks on New Years Eve, and finally, finally, finally got to have some fun with my sister!

...But now, my Rant...

Subject:: Cutting and Cliches

WARNING: If you have any problem/are uptight about this, DO NOT READ

I have warned you all...

The story begins with well, My friend Xari...

She and I barely know each other, have seen each other a total of one time, and we are having one of the biggest arguements/hatefests I have EVER had with anyone I know...

Problem, She cuts herself...
Solution, I act like an Ass to her (Don't know why, I just do)
Culmination, We don't speak anymore...

I just don't understand why someone would do this to theirself?

Does it fill you with pride, to scar you flesh so?
Does it give you some strange sense of arosal, to see blood flow?

Is it a cry for help?
Is it whining?
Is it just because your trying to prove yourself a tought person?

Despite what experts say (Coddling, idiotic, fucking pansy ass dorks that they are) its not a 'condition' its not somesort of fucking 'cry for help' To me, and only to me, it seems that people that have life tough, that can't deal with what the hell is happeneing around them begin to hurt themselves because they think they cannot control anything else in their lives

NOT true...

But that is besides the point, and I am tired of bitching about something other people do because they find that they have to...

What I think is funny (Besides the fact that, well, cutting is stupid, makes your arms look -really- bad, and points you out to the fiends 'The Preppies" as someone to make fun of)

Is that a band, an EMO-ish band, is MAKING FUN of Cutters in the first few Spoken word lines of their song "i'm Fake"

---------------------------------------- ----------------------------------

Small, simple, safe price
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals
And I am not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight.
I want the pain of payment
What's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid
To fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter
I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart
Love is not like anything
Especially a fucking knife

---------------------------------------- ----------------------------------

That, I think Is funny...

And now the second subject...

Gothic kids, dressing Gothic, and that particular Cliche...

First off, I find nothing wrong with wearing all black all the time.
Black is a color of sensuality, of eye grabbing-ness and of mystery...

But when obese, disgustingly horrifying kids wear 'Gothic' clothing just to stand out, just to be different, just to make themselves less, well, unknown, it defeats the purpose of dressing in black...

I'm... ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/4079095/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/4079095/ Thu, 16 Dec 2004 08:07:17 PST Writing:: A Daemon's Artefact | 1 - 5 | A Dragon's Antithesis | Chapter 1 - 2 |
Mood:: Alright, i suppose
Listening To:: Creed "Whats This Life For?"
Offspring "Jennifer Lost The War"
Cradle Of Filth "Nyphentamine Overdose"
Rammstein "Mien Tiel"
Book:: "Incubus Dreams" By Lauel K. Hamilton
Tv/Movie:: Naruto
Projects:: "Antithesis" "Daemon's Reach"
Talking To:: In class, no talkie

The Date And Mood

December 16th and I'm just bleh...

Newness And Ranticity!

Woah...I haven't updated in a while, eh?
:: blows the dust off the journal:: This thing is ancient!

But, i digress, it was my own fault after all.
That and school...
And writing...
And tests!
Yes! tests are comming up to bite me in the ass!

OW!

Anyways, the books are comming along great, school is less on my case and more in my face now. Mjr John (My tac officer) Has given me...
Wait for it..

Wait for it...

32 demerits in the last three days...

10 for chewing a staw in one class
another 10 for not having my english book in another
and a 8 for mysterius reasons...
Then there are staff, who hate me, and give me demerits for moving in formation...

RAWR!

Besides all the demerit crap I have good news and that is that i am going back to Puerto Rico and that I can see everyone again!

YAY!

The Old Shiat

Demerits + Me + K.P. + Staff + Tac - All fun= Mad


Quote Of The Journal

Sometimes fate is like a bunch of fan-girls and when that happens, i say "What the Fuck?" ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3841810/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3841810/ Mon, 15 Nov 2004 14:04:03 PST Writing:: A Daemon's Artefact Chapter | 6 | | 7 | & |12|
Mood:: Sullen/Pissed
Listening To:: Sliverstein "Smashed Into Pieces"
Asian Kung-Fu Generation "Rewrite"
Book:: "Windwalker" By Elaine Cunningham
Tv/Movie:: None, no T.V. in military
Projects:: "Antithesis"
Dragon's Tale on Hiatus
Talking To:: Roomates and Mariela 'n Emily over Msn

The Date And Mood

11/15/04 And I'm Neutral


Newness And Ranticity!

School is bringing me down to the ground and then to the bowels of the netherworld...

I think Satan's laughing at me right now.

Math is still a fucking problem by a truckload but i'm starting to get it (Just a tiny bit)

All my other classes are either solid B's or A's

K.P. ...... Lord save me from Kitchen Patrol! I've had it more than any of my roomates and I'm okay with that. I ask for K.P. to get rid of demerits, I ask for K.p. to not get restricted because it would be the lesser of two evils (And when i mean Lesser, it's not by that much. K.P. is a pain in the ass)

But when I get some goddamn bullshit K.P. I GET FUCKING MAD!

Today I got K.p. not because I had demerits (i work them all off last week) And not because I got in trouble... (I'm either too Sly or just too cool to get K.P. for something stupid like...brining food into the squadron.)

But I got RANDOM MOTHERFUCKING K.P.! I HATE RANDOM PUNISHMENTS!

:: Dies and revives himself ::

Okay.. now.. with that out of the system I have good news!

You can look at my ugly mug in my gallery and get a generalized Gist of the people i live with.

But what really gets me hyped up is that on saturday i get to go back tp Puerto Rico! YES!

:: Does a silly little dance ::

HAPPYNESS!

The Old Shiat

K.P. + Bad Grades + Military Bullshit= Unhappy Lain.


---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------

Kiriban: 250

Rules: Send me a message and or screenshot

I'll write seomthign for you, anything that doesn't have to do with school work. (I don't do homework for you)

Just gimme the details and I'll write something, anything.

(Maybe even a lemon... )


Well thats that and I again, I am The Fucking Laeny-pooh and I am out.

Quote Of The Journal

What doesn't kill me can only make me stronger. What tries to Kill me and fails better run pretty damn fast.

Later Days, ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3804122/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3804122/ Wed, 10 Nov 2004 18:26:31 PST Writing:: A Daemon's Artefact Chapter | 6 | | 7 | & |12|
Mood:: FUCK YOU ALL
Listening To:: Wysp Of Midnight " Broken, Battered, Bruised"
Norma Jean "Mephis Will Be Laid To Waste"
System Of A Down " Science"
Book:: "Windwalker" By Elaine Cunningham & "Incubus Dreams" By Laurel K. Hamilton
Tv/Movie:: None, no T.V. in military
Projects:: "Antithesis" & "A Dragon's Tale"
Talking To:: Roomates

The Date And Mood

11/10/04 And I'm Fucking PISSED!


Newness And Ranticity!

Lets see...Depression because of all this goddamn military fuckery. I might be restricted this weekend (They take away all my privilages, make me work and get up early. Lots of P.T. /Physical Training/ and general screaming involved.) I have K.P. (Kitchen Patrol, or otherwise known as, "Cleanin Up after all the other fuckers.") tomorrow which would make it the THIRD goddamn timne this week!

I'm failing Algebra, but excelling in every other class I have (A's Or B's) What does this tell us?

Either A) I'm dumb as a fucking board.
or
B) First period (eight'o clock ish) is NOT the time to have math...

Other than that, life goes on. My computer is spitting up problems at me in the form of randomly being geh and the stories keep comming in by the truckload

The Old Shiat

I got over my damn writers block and wrote a shit load of stuff.
My Book(s) are now being born into the world.
My fucking roomate moved out! YAY!

I am The Fucking Laeny-pooh and I am out.

Quote Of The Journal

Sleep would be a reprieve from the madness

Later Days, ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3799699/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3799699/ Wed, 10 Nov 2004 07:50:22 PST
READ!
REVIEW!
BE MERRY! ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3696020/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3696020/ Thu, 28 Oct 2004 17:10:23 PDT
I get no comments...

If my work even good enough for DA?

My Fanfiction keeps hitting Dead ends,

My latest chapter didn't tie into the story at all...

I have the worst case of writers block...

When will it all end?

...I think i need a hug right now... ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3594568/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3594568/ Fri, 15 Oct 2004 07:54:18 PDT
i feel better now (just a tad bit)
My mom's is comming to visit for the military school parade thing...

{Le sigh} I SO do not want to march! ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3573252/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3573252/ Tue, 12 Oct 2004 13:04:26 PDT
I hate my roommate SO much. He's been nothing but a FUCKLING bastard since i met him!

Jeez, i try to be a fucking NICE GUY and he's just a pissy as ever...

And I can't do anything about it because He's stronger than I am...

"The Meek will inheret the Earht" Riiiiiight

Meanwhile the Strong will have a good fucking time running the place


]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3565531/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/3565531/ Mon, 11 Oct 2004 13:26:56 PDT
Laeny-pooh is here and back again with a HUGE announcement

I've shifted from drawing stuff for personal reasons {Don't ask} and am now going to focus on writing {Since i'm trying to become and author} and photography {Since i like taking photos}

Other than that, lets see....

Kiriban! Or whatever that is!

Send me a screen shot if your my 190 or 200 hundreth viewer and i just may write something for you.

Whatever it may be

RULES

1. No Lemons, Limes, Sex scenes in general
2. I don't do homework assignments, ever.
3. Screen shot must be sent to ME
4. I only write in english (Sorry) even though i'm from puerto rico and know spanish i don't quite trust myself to write in it.

Thats it everyone!
See ya soon ]]> ~Fallout-Laen http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/2819232/ http://Fallout-Laen.deviantart.com/journal/2819232/ Tue, 06 Jul 2004 17:28:04 PDT
SOME STUPID Q%)*@#%{)@*#{)%@*#{)*{)!*$!@#$(!@#&$ At my Military School Fv He Has To eat from a straw now...

ANYWAY I'm Backerz Peeps ]]> ~Fallout-Laen