http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:FiftyBelowZero&section=today deviantART RSS for by:FiftyBelowZero en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 07 Dec 2009 08:16:22 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/12810422/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/12810422/ Wed, 02 May 2007 00:43:34 PDT
A few days ago I purchased the Canon Digitial Rebel XTi for myself Very estatic about that. It's an amazing camera, very powerful. Hopefully those who like my work will be able to see and enjoy the difference in the quality!

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/12031016/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/12031016/ Fri, 02 Mar 2007 18:46:56 PST
And not just visible; but really visible. I'm talking like a bright flourescent neon purple cloud of smelly vapor that comes out of your ass and fills up the air like a bad rendition of a comicbook villan's exit - POOF! There is no way in hell that anybody is going to miss your fart.

Gone would be the days of trying to be inconspicuous about your anal expulsion. It doesn't matter how hard you clench those sweet cheeks together...it doesn't matter how quiet it is. SBD's would no longer hold merit. Your farts are angry and purple and everybody and their mom is going to know about it.

I think my favourite part about this idea is the fact that these perfect, gorgeous women would suddenly be terrified to leave their houses. You know the type; high-maintenance chicks who are under the sad belief that not only do they hardly ever fart, but when they do, it's as quiet as a mouse and smells like Lollypops and Rainbows. They suffer through horrible abdominal cramps just to keep up the illusion that they are perfect for their boyfriends. Women just simply do not fart. Heavens no!

I gave that up a long time ago. Not only do I certainly not hold my farts in for my boyfriend, but we compete during times of boredom and/or drunkeness (and I usually win) but those of you who know me, or have been reading this blog for long enough, know that I'm definetely not your average girl - so I didn't really need to tell you that.

My parents used to tell me all sorts of horror stories; "If you pee in the pool it will be bright red and everyone will see!" and "When you fart in the winter, people can see, just like they can see your breath." being among my favourites. Needless to say I spent a lot of my childhood in a traumatized and anxiety-ridden state until one day I just decided; "Fuck it" and pissed in my grandmother's pool, much to the displeasure of my mortified parents. It didn't matter that I got in shit; I had proven them wrong and therefore had won

But I'm getting off track here. The entire point of this entry was for my own personal amusement as I conjure up hilarious mental images of people standing in line at the grocery store while a neon purple cloud slowly seeps out of their pants and wafts up into the faces of the next 3 people in line behind them. Brilliant. Try pinning that one on the dog.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/11951770/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/11951770/ Sat, 24 Feb 2007 18:36:47 PST His name is Takusan (aka Taco) and I've posted a few photos in my gallery and in my scraps. Check him out! Spread the 'pede love!

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/11289341/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/11289341/ Tue, 02 Jan 2007 14:12:10 PST
I just needed to update this goddamn thing because, well, it sure as fuck isn't September anymore!

My year wasn't half bad at all. I met some very cool people who are now great friends of mine, and most importantly I gained a lifelong best friend, companion and soulmate in the form of a fiesty German Shepherd Dog. This was Katie's first christmas with us, and with her sister I hope she feels loved - I know I can't love on those two enough.

To start the new year off with a bang, I'm getting my hair cut today. It's limp, dull, thin and split...basically it looks like a big 'ol pile of poo. So I'm getting a trim to healthy it up, and a new style. Not sure yet. Actually I am, I'm just not going to tell you.

Wanting someone to draw my beast-character Spider for me, but I'm too shy to do an art trade because I think my art sucks. Oh well. We shall see.

I'm outta here.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/9953519/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/9953519/ Sun, 03 Sep 2006 16:35:12 PDT
I'm uber excited. I've asked my family for some GSD and Anti-BSL stuff, mostly clothing, a DVD and a few books. Cafepress.com is my favourite online store ^_^

I'm really hoping for the 'Hood Houndz' 12-piece figurine set (the one with all the pitbulls), but I can't find them anywhere! Other than that, I just hope I have all my friends and family around to enjoy the day with me - I've had a few spectacularly awful last few months so I deserve a fun day, dammit XD

When my mom originally asked me what I wanted, I mentioned a few adorable collars/t-shirts for the girls. She wrinkled her face; "What?? It's your birthday! I'm not buying stuff for the DOGS."

*tee hee* ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/8372681/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/8372681/ Wed, 05 Apr 2006 10:39:49 PDT
Her name is Katie, and she is tattooed, microchipped and CKC registered. Katie is a rescue; she's been to five different homes in the last 10 months and needed a Forever Home, so Jay thought who better to go to than us. She was rescued from a junkyard where she was being used as a guard dog. A woman named River rescued her from there and kept her for the last three months, but was advertising as to a Forever Home since she couldn't keep her. River shows dogs professionally and a GSD is not her usual breed, nor did she have room. Jason found out about it through some advertisements, and had been going to their house with Star for the last two months! What a sneaky bastard XD so Star and Katie were getting to know each other, even though at first Jason said they did recognize one another right away.

Katie is adjusting very well to life with us. There is some jealousy and some tiffs about food and toys, but nothing major and nothing unexpected. Due to her time at the junkyard and also having never been to a stable home (moved 5 times) Katie is a bit of a guard dog with some SA and possibly some abandonment issues. We're working on that! Star had SA terribly when she came to us but with some work, she's a different dog now. Katie is very pack-protective, and a bit territorial about the truck as well. It's not a bad thing; there's nothing wrong with a dog keeping your best interests in mind. Make no mistake, Katie is VERY friendly. She is a complete suck when it comes to attention and will shower anyone with kisses once she realizes that I'm OK with them.

So, say hi to Katie! And expect to see many Deviations of her, and many of her and her sister together. ^__^ Check out my Scraps to see a few shots of her. ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/6470874/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/6470874/ Sat, 10 Sep 2005 19:47:36 PDT ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/6343542/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/6343542/ Sat, 27 Aug 2005 15:15:55 PDT 'Mouse Lovers vs Snake Lovers' debate.

I spend a lot of time browsing snake and rodent forums. As many of you know (or if some of you have been living under a rock)I love both and own both. I love my snake and I love all my mice. However, this doesn't seem to register among some of the pig-headed mouse-lovers at PetsHub.

Random User: A mouse I bought for my snake turned out to be pregnant! I came to the mouse forums 'cause I knew you guys would know what to do.

Mouse Users/Lovers: OMG! A SNAKE PERSON IN TEH MOUSE FORUMZ!!1 KILL HIM!!1&^a)s*a1!!

Fash: Thanks for coming here and asking It's nice to see more and more herps taking the more humane route.

Mouse Users/Lovers: Fash, the betrayl! This guy is totally ignorant and mean and omg how could you feed a mouse to a snake and blahblahblahblah *COMBUST*

Fash: Um, some snakes refuse to eat frozen prey. At least this person had the deceny to come here asking what to do. At least he's not feeing her pregnant and concious to the snake.

++++

You get the idea.

The blind ignorance of rodent lovers continues to boggle me. Newsflash, you idiots: Snakes eat rodents! It has been this way forever! It's called 'N A T U R E' look it up sometime. You claim to love all animals under the sun, but the second someone mentions 'snake', you puff up like a goddamn peacock and scream obscenities. Contradiction, anyone?

Snakes need to eat too. A snake isn't going to eat fucking vegetables. I don't think Isis would be too terribly impressed if I threw a head of lettuce in his tank next Saturday instead of a juicy mouse.

You shitheads claim it's 'cruelty' to feed a mouse to a snake. Wouldn't it be cruelty to not feed a snake?

I have the mental capacity and maturity to understand that Isis just needs to eat, and his meal of choice happens to be a species of my second favourite animal; the rodent. I don't enjoy the act of feeding Isis at all. I try not to look at the mice and get it over with as quickly as possible. I also only buy frozen as a rule, because I do agree that it is cruel to feed a live mouse to a snake. Still, any way you look at it, eat or be eaten. In nature, everybody is food for somebody else. Some snakes will only eat live. Some people decide to feed live as a personal choice. This doesn't make them a bad person.

I suppose I'm just really tired of everybody saying that a snake owner can't love mice as pets. I do, and I've always loved mice. I spoil the living shit out of them. I love Isis, though, too. And he's not going to starve because one day I woke up and decided to choose a side.

P.E.T.A members and Vegans annoy the living shit out of me. Just because I eat meat doesn't mean I can't call myself a lover of animals. I think anyone who knows me knows that I sometimes even put them before myself. I've rescued many a stray, I lost 30 pounds and cried for three weeks when my dog died, I take $2 mice and rats to the vet for $117, I nearly starved myself in Mexico because I gave almost all my food to the stray cats and dogs every night. So the next time somebody tells me I'm not an animal lover, I'm going to punch them in the fucking nose.

Cows, chickens and pigs are bred for human consumption! Again, this doesn't mean that I agree with how they are killed. It's the same deal with feeding Isis. I try not to think about it. If ignorance is bliss, sue me. I don't wear a tigerskin coat, leather pants and aligator boots, for christs sake. I just LIKE MEAT. OMG! Sacrilege! I enjoy my fucking burgers. I'm already anemic, so I don't exactly fancy the idea of being a starving Vegan. You people are just as fucking stupid as Pro-Lifers. Do you honestly think holding up some stupid sign and being angry at everybody who isn't exactly like you is going to change anything? NO! Just like tying yourself to a fucking tree isn't going to save the rainforest. Ever try wiping your ass with a non-paper product? Feels good, eh?

People are lazy. Half the population doesn't give two shits about recycling. The ice is melting, the garbage is mounting, the forests are dwindling and the cows are being eaten. The sooner you realize that this is going to keep happening no matter what, the better. Having a hissy fit isn't going to change shit. So keep eating your melba toast and wearing your %100 wool underwear and I'll eat my burgers and love my animals just the same. Thanks. ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/5632407/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/5632407/ Mon, 13 Jun 2005 00:48:52 PDT Star Wars movie has come out, WalMart has made a pathetic attempt to raise their clothing sales by brining in a line of Darth Vader t-shirts.

There is only one that could possibly be called 'remotely' cool. The rest of them look like they're Orange County Chopper rip-offs. With Darth's head with the silver flames and the tribal artwork. So bad. So very, very bad.

However, there is one that, upon further inspection, made me laugh so hard I almost wet myself right there in front of it.

There is Darth Vader. The most infinitely badass movie villan of all time...holding what looks like a microphone and singing into it with angsty pain.

I swear to fucking christ, this shit is for real. Of course it's supposed to be a Light Saber, but whoever drew this picture obviously didn't know shit about glowing swords. o.O

So, after much pointing and giggling, Jay and I ended up having a rather in-depth convo about what exactly would happen if Darth Vader was to appear on American Idol.

I suggested that this t-shirt was obviously implying that Darth has a softer side to him than most assume. Beneathe that satantic 80-pound helmet, there is a sad little bald man who just wants a hug. A hard days work of Universal Domination is probably at times very stressful. Add in the fact that he and his son lead a very tortured, dysfunctional relationship and you've got your homegrown Emo-child right there. We all know Darth goes into his bedroom at night and listens to Dashboard Confessionals. Maybe he writes poetry too.

However, he's still Darth Vader. He will squish you if he is angry. He will make your voicebox feel very sad. And, I'm sure he wouldn't be very happy to realise his raspy, monotone tennor wouldn't cut it in the world of Pop Culture. Not to mention his very obvious breathing impediment...and total lack of style. Nazi boots and capes are so eighties.

So when Darth Vader gets totally shot down by Simon, King of Assholes, many people will die. Horribly and slowly. Especially Simon. *gleeful smile*

"We're sorry Darth. We can't allow you to play your personal themesong every time you appear on stage."

*insert heavy breathing here* "WHAT!?"

*lightsaber noise*

*much screaming and disembowelment*

Ah yes. The things one can think about in WalMart. ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/5574600/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/5574600/ Mon, 06 Jun 2005 21:23:04 PDT
I'm sure most of you remember those. They're the annoying little egg-shapped fuckers who beep constantly and are in dire need of ass-wiping and food regurgitation 24/7. They are soooo 1999. And they are also responsible for many a kid being sent to detention.

There were (in the beginning) two types of Tamagotchi owners.

#1. The ass-wiping beep-a-holic type. Constantly checking their Egg for any signs of displeasure and, upon discovering any, huncing over their Virtual Pet with a button-pushing frenzy of 'Jump' and 'Dance'. (BTW, you'd think our overseas geniuses would be able to make such a 'phenomenon' be able to do more than 'Jump' and 'Dance'.)

#2. The 'Beep One More Time And I Smash Your Ass' type. Most of these easily-angered maniacs were sadly too muddled in their plots of Tamagotchi Death to realize all you had to do was simultaneously bush 'A' and 'B' to turn the sound OFF. I'm embarrased to admit I was one of them.

I often wondered why somebody like myself would want anything to do with one of these attention-craving, beeping annoyances. Then it struck me: I'm more sucked in to anything Japanese-cultre related than a fat kid into a candy store. I simply had to have one. So I pooled my pitiful allowance together and fought the Egg-Craving hordes and bought a green one.

I loved it. For about half an hour.

Then all thoughts of feeding, toileting and playing were pushed out the window and swiftly replaced with: MURDERDEATHKILL.

I still remember the day I destroyed my Tamagotchi. I was walking home from school when it beeped for the absolute last time. I screamed bloody murder to the heavens and then threw it into a puddle as hard as my weakchicken arm could muster. Then I attacked it with my feet with avengance.

My mother still wonders at it's sudden and unlawful disapearance.

Then, because I had serious mental issues, I went out and bought a 'DinkieDino' which was another type of horrid egg-shapped demon. I thought for sure I'd loathed my Tamagotchi, but the craving hadn't been sated. I needed more SIMS to kill---erm, more Eggs to care for.

DinkieDino wasn't half as annoying. He was also cuter, and could do a fuck of a lot more than 'Jump' and 'Dance' like his lazy-ass cousin, Tamafuckchi.

I hate Tamagotchis. But I can't seem to live without them...even though I did for a good five years.

Now the new and improved Tamagotchi is 'Tamagotchi Connection!' Now you're one Infrared click away from some hardcore Tamagotchi Sex! That's right! 'Add Up To 50 Friends!' the package boasts. Silly advertising campaigners. We all know you mean 'Add 50 Virtual Pornstars To Your Orgy!' ^_^ ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/5569354/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/5569354/ Mon, 06 Jun 2005 11:11:50 PDT

Hear me make squealy coo-ing baby noises! ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/5425083/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/5425083/ Sat, 21 May 2005 22:39:44 PDT so pissed. ><

Situations like this really get me...I'm part of quite a few Pet forums on the net. People will post questions about their pets when something happens to them. I was particularly nauseated by this shitbrick's story:

"help! i put a rabitt in my boas cage an it atacked her and now she is bleeding and omg i dont no what to do!!1"

-_-

Congratulations, you fucktrophy. You now belong to the 'DumbshitsWhoFeedLivePreyToTheirSnakes' group. You can now look forward to: a) your snake dying/bleeding to death/succumbing to infection because you are probably to stupid to know what to do about it. b) pay a $500 vet bill for stitches.

Let us review:

Rabbits have some of the most muscular, powerful bodies in the animal kingdom. However, your tiny brain see's the cute fuzzy bunny and immediately makes the ignorant connection: small = harmless. A bunny is no match for 18+ feet of hungry serpent, right? Well little johnny, we'll see. Throw that bunny in there, and while we're at it, here's a spoon so you can eat my ass.

Gouged eyes, split open stomachs, tears inside the mouth...these are just a few of the things that come with throwing something small and terrified in with a snake. Small, terrified, and full of tiny razor-sharp teeth. Ever been bitten by a rodent? It sucks.

Here's another one I'm fond of:

"what is wrong with my rat? it is snezing and sleeping a lot. i am doing everything the petstore told me too! i put pine shavings in the tank and am feding it hamster food?"

Ok, let's see. Your rat is sneezing and sleeping a lot because it has a URI. Breaking that down into english for you: Upper Respiratory Infection. Why is that? Maybe because you've filled it's living area with PINE, assgoblin. Pine, which contains Phenols. Makes the place smell good, sure, but it causes constant irritation to the throat, nasal passages and lungs of your poor Rat, commonly causing pneumonia. YAY!

Feeding it Hamster mix, eh? Hamster mix contains corn. Mycotoxins produced by fungi are common contaminants of grains and other food products. Aflatoxin is largely found as a contaminant in corn. It can cause tumors and liver cancer in rats. There ya go! Listened to everything the petstore said, didja? Let me let you in on a little secret: Petstores will tell you anything if it will get them your money. They don't give a shit if Pine and Cedar is toxic. It's cheap! They're just out to make a sale, bub.

It just makes me really, really mad to see all these ignorant, uneducated people milling into Petstores and buying puppymill dogs without knowing a thing about their breed and what to expect. Then they come back a week later wanting a refund because the dog wasn't what they expected. Just today in Petland, when I came to get Isis and Ozzy their meal, this woman walked in and bought a leopard gecko. She asked for them to put it in a box for her and was at the cash register paying for it when Rick said; "So, you got a tank set up at home waiting for the little guy?" and she just blinked and said, "Tank? No, we've got a hamster cage though. That's ok, right? My son wanted one so I guess I figured we'd get one."

I wanted to slap her. Lady, this is an exotic reptile! It needs a 20 gallon aquarium with proper sand/substrate in the bottom. It needs a humidity gauge, a heatlamp, and a heat rock/pad. It needs a hidey-hole, crickets to eat. My god. All I could think about was this poor thing going home to this retard family where it would probably die within 24 hours after either freezing to death, being poked at/tormented on end or squeezing through the bars and being discovered by the cat. *sigh*

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/5414611/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/5414611/ Fri, 20 May 2005 18:31:11 PDT
Whoever did this, thank you! I have no idea who you are

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/5234795/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/5234795/ Sun, 01 May 2005 00:59:40 PDT
[link] ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/4784900/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/4784900/ Fri, 11 Mar 2005 10:26:23 PST ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/4372747/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/4372747/ Thu, 20 Jan 2005 20:38:46 PST [link]

I put it in my scraps because it looks like total shit. Anyone who'd like to fix it up or color it for me is more than welcome. I'd be eternally grateful. ^^ ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/4361109/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/4361109/ Wed, 19 Jan 2005 14:42:26 PST ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/4081828/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/4081828/ Thu, 16 Dec 2004 15:42:04 PST I hope everyone has fun. ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3933605/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3933605/ Sat, 27 Nov 2004 17:42:16 PST

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3838040/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3838040/ Mon, 15 Nov 2004 01:10:31 PST
I became obsessed with rating sites. I`d constantly sift through the `Top 10` and find myself feeling sorry for myself over how every girl was prettier than me.

I`m still not sure why I do this to myself. I`m also not sure why I even joined up with a rating site. Maybe I was thinking; "Finally, a place to affirm my worst fears. Yay for angst and self-loathing." or perhaps it was; "Maybe someone will think I am pretty." and as a result, I would abandon all thoughts of lyposuction and plastic surgery. Self-image is very poor with me, and I`ve never had any confidence in my image. Sue me.

I have noticed one trend that seem`s to be eerily popular among the Mild `Age-Friendly` rating sites, or any of them for that matter. This trend is posting a shadowy webcam shot of your bits in all their gooey glory.

Now, I don`t know about you girls, but I don`t think there is anything remotely attractive about a Vagina. A Vagina, in my humble opinion, resembles a squished-up Monster face. A squished up monster face that just sucked on a lemon and then was brutally attacked by ingrown hairs, blemishes, and it`s close cousin; `Purple Pancake Lips of Doom`. This Monster-face is equally horrid and can usually be found around gigantic black cocks, porn auditions, or on the table with it`s feet in the stirrups for the eighteenth time that week.

A Penis isn`t any better. I don`t care HOW spectacular your abdominal muscles are; they`re instantly ruined when you post a picture of them accompanied by your slug-like appendage hanging off the front of your body. I`m sorry honey, but if you think a picture of you laying on your back with your hairy asscheeks mushed under you with your facial muscles contorted into some bizzare orgasmic expression makes me hot, you`ve got another think coming. Bulging purple veins and hot, bitter, salty manjuice spraying all over your girlfriend`s face with a caption reading `oh baby that`s right take it all lol ` makes me not only ashamed to be Human, it makes me feel embarrased to have joined this site. I truly hope you two are happy together.

It is difficult to come by a gallery on [link] that isn`t ridden with in-your-face crotch shots. Oftentimes I will be sorting through a gallery, admiring the individual for their smile and lack of crot----damn. And there it is. Spread-eagle. Maybe an eight inch long fake fingernail wedged in there, too. Because sharp fingernails inside a vagina is HOT. We all know it is, baby.

I do not give `10`s to people who post picture`s of their crotches in their gallery. I give `10`s to respectable people who I find humorous, artistic, and kind. There is nothing more sexy than a girl with a cute, toothy smile and a gallery full of her pets and pictures of her drawings, vacations, and friends. Isn`t that more `beautiful` than a gigantic, terrible-quality camshot of some skank shoving assbeads into her gaping maw of a brownstar? At least grinning-girl leaves something to the immagination.

What is completely beyond me is how these people could DO this. I would be completely mortified and humiliated to post a picture of my vagina on the Internet. It`s the INTERNET. Everyone is going to see it. And by `everyone` I mean 80 year old perverts in their retirement homes beating the saggy-one-eyed-monster to a picture of YOUR ass. Grunting and salivating all over the front of their bibs. I think most girls are either too young or too stupid to know that these aforementioned `80-year-old perverts` take up a disturbing vast majority statistic wise. Igorance is bliss?

But ah, to be a camwhore. It`s the one advertisement that really lures in the sluts. A webpage with the design skills of a starving, mentally handicapped ethiopian with downs syndrome. Big and bright with lot`s of hard to miss lettering: CUM C ME NAKED BIG BOI LOL FREE TOUR followed closely by a seizure-tastic flashmovie of a gyrating vagina doing a sacriligious dance upon a 3-speed Lawn Gnome vibrator. Flash the boobies one more time and then it`s `GIVE ME YOUR MONEEEYYYYY!!!!!!1` Arfenhouse style. It`s what every parent dreams of their child aspiring to.

Even more uplifting is how ANYONE can be a camwhore. That`s right! Despair not! You too can get paid to dance around in the girl-briefs your rich Daddy bought you to `Destiny`s Child`... ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3798388/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3798388/ Wed, 10 Nov 2004 01:05:52 PST
So I`m sitting there on my couch, working on my third bag of popcorn, when I started to wonder about the possiblity of a hidden videocamera in my house.

People do some weird fuckin` shit when they`re alone.

I know I do.

I take talking to myself to the next level. I make everything from Wookie noises to Turkey gobbles. Sometimes I smear mustard all over my chest and roll around on the couch in it. Then I masturbate with the TV remote and think it`s really funny that nobody will know about it.

...

Ok, so that last one was a joke. But only sort of.

I also think that sometimes I might have turrets syndrome. Or maybe it`s just that I like amusing myself way too much, or that I am far too easily amused. Or pathetic. Either one works. It`s just that sometimes, when I`m in crowded public areas, like in waiting lines to pay for something...I have the overwhelming urge to scream as loud as I can.

I was thinking the other day about how much fun it would be to be invincible. I mean do everything short of throwing yourself in molten lava, which would be the only way you could die. It would be really fun to walk into a crowded public restroom, take out a really big knife, and just start stabbing yourself. Scream really loudly and flail around for good measure. Then, all of a sudden, just stop dead in your tracks. Calmly put the knife down on the counter, check your hair in the mirror, and then walk out the door whistling.

I think I started thinking about that when Jay and I were discussing `Times When You Thought You Were Alone`

I remember once when I thought I was alone. It was the morning after I had had my wisdom teeth taken out. I wasn`t in terrible pain, but there was so much blood coming out of my mouth that I seriously thought I was bleeding to death. So what do my parents decide? Let`s go downstairs to the hotel for breakfast!

Dana orders herself some pancakes, figuring that she`ll be able to mash them up enough with her fork to form a thick enough paste to gum to death. I drowned them in syrup. I tried eating them, but that didn`t work. I`m sitting there with a face swollen up like a fucking Goodyear Blimp with syrup oozing out of my mouth when I realize, hmm, I can`t swallow this. So I get up to go to the bathroom.

Walked in. Looked around. Didn`t see or hear anyone. So I positioned myself over the sink, opened my mouth, and let the bigass wad of bloody pancake lugee splat into the sink.

And FUCK! Did it ever splat! That thing hit the sink with the force of a Jet. The backspray off that thing was like a scene from the Auschwitz slaughterhouse.

I was feeling pretty intense by this time. As we all know, I`m a sick sonofabitch who enjoys wounds and other unpleasantries too much for her own good. So, I pulled a Jack from Titanic and began working up a stupendouly good horker. I was getting all sorts of wonderful sounds going on. Then I arched my neck, grabbed onto the sides of the sink for leverage, and let it rip.

This one wasn`t as grand as my GolfBall Lugee, but it certainly was impressive nonetheless.

But it wasn`t very impressive when the stall door behind me opened up and a middleaged woman with an absolutely horrified look on her face stepped out and stared at me as though I`d just escaped from the local Looney Bin.

I`m standing there with blood and syrup dripping from my useless lips which are too frozen to make any coherent noises, but even so I tried to explain myself, which only made it worse because I sounded like somebody with downs syndrome trying to sing `My Heart Will Go On`.




The moral of this story: Spitting lugee`s rules. Take pictures if you can.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3742197/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3742197/ Wed, 03 Nov 2004 11:28:13 PST

Heh. I traded Jay my 'Dakmor Sorceress' for a 'Luminous Angel' and hot damn, does she rule. Casting cost of 7. She's a 4/4 who, during your upkeep, allows you to put a 1/1 creature token with Flying into play.

This means 'Braids' can't fuck with me. Because holy shit, after 'Counterspell' and Land Destruction, I hate Braids the most.

I am determined to own every good Angel card out there. I already have a shitload. I just need to collect the few Legends and good Angel Rares from 'Kamigawa' which (oddly enough) has actually made it a point to make White the Evil color for a change. Eheheheheheh.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3681419/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3681419/ Tue, 26 Oct 2004 18:05:19 PDT [link]

Go there.



]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3667872/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3667872/ Mon, 25 Oct 2004 01:47:53 PDT
*sigh*

These last few days have been great. Denis left so Jay and I had the house to ourselves. My new usericon is a result of the 600+ photograph's Jay and I took during a binge. "Hey, I have my whore boots, bubbles, and a knife. Get the camera." XD

Rented a shitload of movies. Joel is getting to be like family. Joel is the ridiculously huge dude that works at VideoStop, where Jay and I obsessively rent shitloads of old VHS classics. Joel is my hero because he always ignores our outstanding latecharges, plays HairMetal in the store, and has numerous tattoos. He is also my hero because he often wears a T-Shirt that says; "I Eat Emo Kids For Breakfast" and orders really good Anime in all the time.

I finally decided it was time for Jay to watch the 'Project A-Ko' movies. Anyone who has not seem them should make it a point to do so now. It is a superbly Eighties-Tastic Anime involving everything from Crossdressing Spaceship Pilots to Giant Robots, Mecha Suits, and lots of Gratutious Panty-Shots. Needless to say, Jay loved it.

I also made Jay finally watch 'The Last Unicorn' because everyone should see TLU. It is a classic. It is badass. He grudgingly enjoyed it. XD

We met up with my cousin Brian while we were video browsing and got to chatting. We exchanged suggestions for movies and I asked Brian if he had seen The Last Unicorn. I have noticed men seem to cringe in fear at the word 'Unicorn' as my cuz did just then. In order for me to make Jay pay good money to see it, I had to convince him that it was good. I did so by explaining that there was a gigantic red Bull made of fire, naked chicks, trees with boobies, pirate cats, drunk skeletons and a seriously badass Harpy. He was sold after that.

We ended up hanging out with Brian and his girlfriend that night. Their place is really cool. We purchased shitloads of junkfood and rented 'The Others' and watched it. Brian jumped out of his skin and screamed like a little girl during almost every scary part in the movie. Jay also cuddled up to me a few times in ph33r. Hot damn, I love role reversal. XD

Jay cooked me dinner like, 3 nights in a row. He is a fantastic cook. Since I am a total romantic sap, having a man cook dinner for me is, well, totally tubular. I swoon and giggle like a schoolgirl. And I blush, too. Fuck. He made this one really awesome dish. It was chicken breast with tomato sauce, baby clams, celery, peppers, onions, garlic, and he cooked it all in a fantastic Wine. Then he drizzled it over noodles and made me a wonderful Malibu drink and served the meal with garlic toast. I was like, omfgyum.

Bastard. Making me all drunk. XD I couldn't help it! He made this insane drink with Malibu, 7-Up and pineapple juice. It's very dangerous when alcohol tastes good. Usually I'm OK because I don't drink due to the fact that I think most all alcohol tastes like bitter piss. But when something tastes good....oh noez. Needless to say, I ended up running around the kitchen wearing a Safeway bag on my head and swinging Jay's recently purchased 'Nirvana' poster around like a sword.

I make it really hard for him to cook dinner sometimes.

Played some '007' for the N64. Man, I am a NINJA at that game. Jay's more of a PC Gamer but I am determined to convert him to the Oldschool way of the Console, as it is so obiously superior. He can't get the controls downpat yet, but I am teaching him. I suppose I could loosen up on the Bitch Aspect of it, though, and stop stalking him with Remote Mines.

Took Isis and Ozzy to PetLand. Was OMFGPISSED when I heard there were STILL no Fuzzies in stock. Oh well...they come in Tuesday, and it's always fun to take my babies out once in a while. PetLand is the only place where you can actually walk around in a public store with two snakes wrapped around your neck and not get escorted outside. It's always entertaining to see how different people react to snakes. Sometimes, the people you'd least expect will approach you and say; "Oh wow, what a beautiful snake. Can I hold him?" and then you always get the one's who say; "Ewwww! a snake!" and run away. I usually get a lot of younger kids asking me if they can hold Isis. My policy is; you can look at my snake, but keep your hands away. Even though Isis is ridiculously placid, I don't like handing him out to just anyone, especially... ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3534474/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3534474/ Thu, 07 Oct 2004 12:45:13 PDT
Your boyfriend has to put your nose ring in for you.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3484466/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3484466/ Thu, 30 Sep 2004 23:15:01 PDT
I'm going to be gone for all next week working for my dad in Camp.

Apparently dad talked to Ernie and he hired me for this week and (possibly) the next two or three. I'll be making around 90$ a week moving parts around in the shop and cleaning up. Doing some storage stuff. Lightweight kinda things in the kitchen maybe.

*sigh* Things got weird tonight. I feel rushed and sort of sad. I don't know why, and I do. -_-

Anyway, talk to you all next weekend. *hugs*

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3480128/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3480128/ Thu, 30 Sep 2004 12:16:03 PDT For Fall, and Halloween, I bought myself some 'NYC Blackest Black' nailpolish and some 'Loreal: Chop-Chop' screaming Orange. So now I have orange and black nails. I'm very spooky now.

It's amusing when I go shopping and I get random cashiers and salespeople grabbing my hands and freaking out. "OMG are those your -real- nails?! They're so long! I'm so jealous, I can't grow my nails!"

I lucked out I suppose. Not only do they grow ridiculously fast, but they're ridiculously strong. I slammed my middle and ring finger in my door yesterday and it didn't even chip the polish. They're like iron. *shrug* God only knows why. I don't drink milk or take calcium.

So yesterday Jay and I took a trip to Wally World. I go to Wal-Mart way too fucking much, but they certainly have the best and cheapest selection of EVERYTHING.

I was feeling a bit down. Having one of my 'Dana Is A Bearded Goat Lady From Hell' days when I feel miserable and ugly. Like no matter what I do I feel like a fat sonofabitch. So I asked Jay if we could go to Wally World so that I could buy nail polish, since a new color of nail polish always makes me happy.

So after about a half hour of me standing in the cosmetics isle, inconspicuosly opening every bottle and painting over all 10 of my nails numerous times (and driving everyone away with the polish fumes XD), I finally decided on Blackest Black.

So then Jay busted in with his 'I'm Jay, The Sweetest Boyfriend Ever' move and suddenly decided he was going to buy me a whole new outfit so that I might cheer up.

And let me tell you. NOTHING makes a girl feel sexier than a pair of new boots.

But not just any boots. I'm talkin' knee-high lace-up black leather boots with a zippered seam on the side and a fantastically clunky heel. o_O

I tried those suckers on (I was already wearing my Skirt) and spent a good 10 min. giggling and prancing around the shoe isle in them. I'm certainly not one to be arrogant, but DAAAAAAMN. XD I look HAWT in those boots.

They are very 'Victorian Style'/'Classy Vampiress'/'Witches Of Eastwick' boots. ^_^ I am in love with them.

So then Jay says I need a skirt to go with it. I picked a few out and went to the change room. Spent about a half hour in there trying on skirts and shirts. I finally decided on a pretty risque reddish plaid (GOOD plaid) skirt that is a little bit short for my liking but it made me feel naughty. It buttons on the inside and you clip the side (which shows your thigh omg tee hee) with a cute safety clip. I sort of had the whole Catholic Schoolgirl thing going on. Then Jay picked out a really classy black blouse to wear with it. For a guy he has really good fashion sense.

So we went home (after a few more *ahem* lubricated purchases XD) and rented the new 'Ghost in the Shell' episodes. We also rented a SHIT-IN-YOUR-PANTS CREEPY movie called 'The Eye.

It's a Japanese horror film in the same sort of tradition as 'Ringu'. Anyone who enjoyed 'Ringu' should definetly rent it. It's about this blind woman who gets an eye transplant and she starts seeing the things that the previous (creepy) doner saw. There were a few parts that actually made me jump.

Dropped off a few resumes too. *awaiting phonecalls*

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3465802/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3465802/ Tue, 28 Sep 2004 13:09:02 PDT
The Contenders:

Mr. Christie

vs

Chef Boyardee




CAST YOUR VOTES NOW!

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3432748/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3432748/ Thu, 23 Sep 2004 22:35:24 PDT
'Doom 64 Soundtrack' - "Altar of Pain"

'Tool' : Lateralus - "Mantra"



Don't listen to either of these songs if you are either:

A) Alone
B) In The Dark
C) Stonned

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3428727/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3428727/ Thu, 23 Sep 2004 12:57:10 PDT


So go see her, and leave comments!

++++

Winter is almost approaching here, which means SNOW! And another thing that is fast approaching is All Hallow's Eve! Yesh, precious. We hates them. Halloween is no fun when you're too old to dress up for free candy anymore.

Halloween does, however, mean that I get to finally stock up on some good quality fake-blood, some porcelain vamp fangs, and some nice face paint. Some things I've been needing for a while.

Snow is going to be a very good thing because I have so many ideas filling my head for photoshoots with snow that if I don't do something about it soon I'll die.

and I might join Karate together. I've always wanted too, just never had anyone to join with. It would be fun to get back into shape and actually BE badass instead of everyone just thinking I am. Nice to be able to walk home at night and know that if some tit attacked me, I could actually DO something instead of just flailing around. I'm about as useless as tits on a fucking bull.

"I'M IN AN APE SUIT! THAT MEANS I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"

Ah, to watch 'Big Money Hustlas' again.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3410613/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3410613/ Mon, 20 Sep 2004 22:24:01 PDT
o_O

*is nervous/excited*

Never done that before. Feel kinda...erm....yeah. Weird about it.

Maybe someone will buy a postcard?

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3368469/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3368469/ Wed, 15 Sep 2004 09:09:29 PDT <

I feel full of rants today. I'm guessing this is a good thing. It's better to be full of rants than to be full of...oh, say, BABIES, for example. o_O

*does not want to be full of babies*

Today is...OMG BROCCOLI SOUP DAY!!! That means bowl after bowl of hot, creamy, delicious manjuic----erm....soup.

Ok I R joking. realy.

But since ~Iampushit rules, he will bring me Broccoli Soup from Timmy Ho's, because he has enough self preservation to realize the dire consequences if he does NOT.




Oh yesh. And everybody should go visit ~ eyefire because he shure does rool.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3363341/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3363341/ Tue, 14 Sep 2004 15:30:50 PDT



I wish I could draw Preds...'cause then I'd draw Lex and Scar from AVP. *wistful sigh*

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3357805/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3357805/ Mon, 13 Sep 2004 19:36:23 PDT
First of all, his first dance sequence in the video is him combing his facial hair with a pocketcomb. Jesus christ. Pocketcombs are the gayest fucking things since stirrup pants. Can you get any more Reggie Mantle than a pocketcomb? And who the hell combs their facial hair? The amount of hair on his entire body equals like, half my right arm. Greasy fucking Michael Flatley wannabe.

So I tried my hardest to ignore him, seeing as I don't find him attractive anyway. Of course he has a great body, but that's what makes him unattractive; because he knows it. Conceit is the biggest turn-off ever. You know your ego is too big WHEN: you have to take off your goddamn shirt in every fucking music video you're in. It's like; "You have abs. How phenomenal. Now put your shit back on."

Then I began to listen to the lyrics in the song. Hmm. It seems Usher has himself in quite the predicament. Seems he's gone and fucked some random whore and now she's three months pregnant and keeping it. What's he going to tell 'the woman he loves' back home? Uh oh. Look's like you fucked up big time now, you flithy rich cockmonger.

We all know I have serious issues with cheating. I think people who cheat are the scum of the earth, second only to people who hurt animals. So right away that made any shred of respect that I had for Usher plummet out the window to it's splattery end on the sidewalk. But what really bothered me was how, in the song, Usher seems to think he should be forgiven.

Woah.

I'm sorry, Usher, but utilizing your abdominal muscles and the gigantic diamonds in your ear lobes doesn't automatically mean you win at life. Your Lexus and your fucking pocketcomb aren't going to save your ass now.

So there's this scene where he's laying on a Piano with his arms behind his head and he suddenly has a vision of the two women in his life right now. On his right: Random Skanky Bitch. On his left: The Woman He "loves" (I like that description, asslust). Seems Usher is having a dilema. "Hmmm. Who to pick? Who to pick? Man, that's the last time I sign autographs. Gee, I hope Usher Jr. can dance as good as me. It get's da chicks. Huhhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh."


Usher gets in his Lexus and he heads over to his girlfriends house. But, OH! What's this? It's raining! Better take off your shirt and fondle yourself for the next 4 scandalous minuets.

Making sure his pants are secured non-too-securely about his hips, Usher slides across the floor in a daring rendition of a Michael Jackson dance move, trying desperately to look impressive and failing dismally, and throws himself around his girlfriend's waist, placing his face convinently at crotch-level. Usher is not to be outdone! Simply because he is having a child with a thirty-cent Hollywood Boulevard Hooker doesn't mean he can't make an attempt for one last carpet munch.

Said girlfriend takes this opportunity to throw some very weakchicken-esque bitchslaps. I don't know about you girls, but all I have to say is woe to any man who ever cheats on me. My boyfriend wouldn't be able to crawl back to me; I'd have hacked both his legs off with a chainsaw while he was sleeping. After I cut up his penis and Fed-Ex'ed it to the four corners of Scotland, of course.

The icing on the cake: In a last ditch effort, plainly disregarding how entirely fucked he is at this point, Usher makes one last statement. "I'm hoping you can realize that I was man enough to tell you this, Baby."

Man enough to tell you this, BABY?

Second chances are for dying kittens. Not greasy, hairless pop icons who fuck everything on two legs and spend the better part of the century fondling themselves under mass amounts of generated rain.

*sigh* Sometimes I want to shoot myself. ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3351623/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3351623/ Sun, 12 Sep 2004 23:56:54 PDT








So I just saw AVP and I am still a bit in shock from the fact that I actually, finally saw it.

So far I'm a bit 50/50 on it. Seeing as I have done my research extensively and have read a fair bit of the comics, there were parts of the movie that were done badly, and parts that were done better than I thought.

*coughs and clears throat* I have something to say before I go any further...

OMG The Xenomorph sure did win the first A/P fight scene!! THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT, YOU PREDATOR PUSSY! YOU -TAKE- IT FROM THAT XENOMORPH!

He showed him who was boss. XD He took that Predator to school. That Predator was like; "Holy fuck! Alright, alright! I'll give you my damn lunch money!"


Things I enjoyed:

#1. The Xenomorphs were very, very nicely CG-ed.
#2. The Queen was seriously badass (even though she moved too fast and was too big)
#3. The fighting wasn't one-sided. Lot's of Xeno's died and lots of Predators died.
#4. MATRIX FACEHUGGERS!!! XD
#5. The Lex/Scar relationship. *awwwwwww* ^_^

Things I didn't enjoy:

#1. For the amount of Humans who entered the Temple, there were too many Xenomorphs. Not enough humans for incubation.
#2. Not enough fight scenes between JUST Aliens/Predators.
#3. Bishop is dead, dude. Resurrection took place 200 years after Ripley died. How the fuck was he in this movie?
#4. The Queen was much, much bigger than usual and moved far too fast and agile for her size.
#5. The Xenomorph/Predator hybird Chestburster. WTF? First of all, while the Facehuggers do take a certain amount of DNA and Genetics from their host, the thought of a Chestburster having a Predators facial structure is....wow. Really dumb. It was Hollywood being like; "Fuck the rules. Hello sequel!"
#6. The first Chestburster in the movie emerged far too quickly. The Chestbursters take a considerable amount of time to incubate and, finally, hatch. At least a good few hours.


I enjoyed this movie. It wasn't mind-blowing and it wasn't disapointing either. It was good. Of course I liked it...I mean, it's me. Duh.

One thing people seem to misunderstand about me is that I hate Predators. I don't. I loved the Predator movies and I can very much respect them as a Warrior. They're very interesting and very intelligent. I enjoyed watching them in the movie and could appreciate a good Xenomorph kill! I enjoyed watching Scar, the main Predator in the film. I know a few people thought it was silly to try and incorporate a relationship between a Predator and a Human. I thought it was an original idea, and I liked watching the two interract. (And...*cough* I'm a total sucker for interspecies relationships ^_^) A lot of people got the wrong idea, too. They thought it was Romance, when it was clearly a relationship forged out of Respect. Lex had the intelligence and the decency to understand that hey, all this guy wanted was his goddamn gun back. So she gave it to him. I think what allowed Scar to see past his preadatorial instinct was the sign of respect and honor Lex displayed to him, both by returning his gun, heping him destroy the attacking Xenomorph, and then showing the defiance and bravery of a fiesty Warrior when he tried to make her stay behind. Something a Predator can understand and share. It wasn't romance. It was two people teaming together to survive because they saw something in each other.

And damn, Scar was sexy. o_O Only with the facemask on though. *shudder* I wouldn't want to see that face descending on me for a kiss.

Anyway, I really liked that. I wish I was good enough to do some Lex/Scar fanart. ^^



One last thing...


The Xenomorphs got the last laugh during the very last scene...even though it was stupid. XD Sure, they got blown up by the bomb, but when you think about it, take away their weapons and their fancy gadgets and all the Predators really are is a big buff alien mofuckah. If they hadn't had that bomb (which by the way, and this isn't me being bitter, was a really cheap cop-out) the Xeno's would have done some supreme pwnage, at least more than they got to.

*happy sigh* ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3340609/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3340609/ Sat, 11 Sep 2004 15:11:19 PDT
I also have A.D.D...thus making me have little to no attention span when it comes to how my gallery looks.

There are too many Deviations in there, a lot of which I'm not terribly fond of.


THEREFORE...

I'll probably be deleting quite a few and re-submitting the others.

Sorry about this. It's just been bothering me for a while. ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3322103/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3322103/ Wed, 08 Sep 2004 23:54:43 PDT
*looks around*

Everyone is sleeping though.

*feels lonely*

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3234790/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3234790/ Sat, 28 Aug 2004 20:38:32 PDT
While still retaining my legendary kindness. ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3127839/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/3127839/ Sat, 14 Aug 2004 22:16:59 PDT
Many picture's to upload. ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2906091/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2906091/ Sat, 17 Jul 2004 18:41:39 PDT
I'll be in Smithers for a week (starting Monday) and then my mom and I head out to the Island.

Going to be fairly busy during that week (doctors appointment, hair appointment, dentist appointment.) but I'd like to see some of you Smithers mofo's before I go.





I won't be online at all during the next 4 weeks because I won't have a computer. I'll be over at Jay's a lot though so I might use his computer to make an update or two. Probably one about the Bungee Jump, just so you all know I survived. XD

Tomorrow I'm getting up early to go on my traditional Saturday Morning Garage Sale Fest, and then mom is driving up. Probably spend the day packing and cleaning and then heading out early Sunday morning.

HUGE HUGS to everyone ^_^ ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2856422/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2856422/ Sun, 11 Jul 2004 13:31:02 PDT




The Xenomorphs are the Masters at fucking shit up. They are so good at it that they drive around in gigantic white vans and do house calls. They appear on your doorstep and they even ring your doorbell and then when you open the door it`s OMGFUKSHITUPP!!!1 time and then you`re DEAD. They bend you over the table and royally sodomize you and then if they`re feeling SEXEH enough they`ll give you the honor of having an egg planted right up your asscrack. Then when they`re satisfied they take their wussy Predator Slaves out of the back of their van, flip `em upside down by the legs and hold `em that way and use their faggoty dreadlocks to wipe up the carnage. Then they drive home; going way below the speed limit. Just to piss everyone off.

The Xenomorphs always drive home in a supremely good mood. On the way they make random pitstops at gas stations and Fuck Shit Up in there, too. They get bulk packages of Lays chips and they make the Predators pay. With pennies. The Predators do this because they know that they will get P.I.M.P slapped (complete with baby powder) by the Xenomorph`s if they even try to escape. They stand there and pay with their pennies and often urinate all over themselves and tremble with the sheer awesomeness of standing so close to the Xenomorphs, who just slobber and hiss and make sinister noises with the knowledge of their unsurpassed coolness.

There is only one being who is cooler than the Xenomorphs, and that being is the lovely Sigourney Weaver herself. Ripley, who is the epitome of BAD ASS BITCH.

Ripley is so fucking awesome that when she walks into a room everyone wets themselves and collapses to the floor in a fit of orgasmic awe. Her aura of Coolness is so great that the magnitude of it makes volcanoes erupt halfway across the world. The Xenomorph`s have an aura of Coolness almost as great. So when Ripley AND the Xenomorph`s are in the same room...sweet Jesus. Mountains blow up left right and center and my panties get very soggy.

One day, Ripley had just finished making everyone jizzum with her brief apperance when the Xenomorph Gang from the WestSide showed up in their shaggin` wagon. Ripley lit a cigarette and started to shave her head, getting ready for some supreme pwnage. She flexed her muscles and wiped her arm across her face, smearing sweat and blood all over herself. This was her Display of Power. Sort of like a peacock but just WAY fucking cooler.

The Xenomorph Warrior`s shrank back for a second in fear, but they were not to be outdone. Today their nemesis Ripley was in for a surprise. Today their Queen was sitting in the backseat. How this had come to be was still unknown, although it is certain that most of her erotic appendages were spread out everywhere and hanging out the windows. The Queen grunted and flailed and made some very suggestive noises as her Warrior children helped her out of the van.

The Queen got all up in Ripley`s face, punking her and stopping only to give birth to some slimy Eggs, which Ripley Fucked Up with ease due to her flamethrower and grenade launcher. She even made one of them explode just by looking at it.

It was about to get ugly when suddenly Bruce Willis showed up. ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2670266/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2670266/ Tue, 15 Jun 2004 21:50:12 PDT
I got my new corn two days ago and he just ate two pinkies about an hour ago. He's doing great. Very lively. Took many pictures of him already

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2601268/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2601268/ Mon, 07 Jun 2004 00:30:05 PDT

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2557697/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2557697/ Tue, 01 Jun 2004 11:41:36 PDT
*sigh*

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2522982/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2522982/ Thu, 27 May 2004 17:08:16 PDT
Please comment if you do.

...

And if you don't have one, then you should get one. Now.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2500627/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2500627/ Mon, 24 May 2004 18:51:06 PDT
I don't have the slightest clue as to how to use it.



Why can't I just figure out how to make animated gif icons and avatars? I want to so badly and it's like Satan just keeps laughing at me and bending me over the table. "HA HA! Take that! You'll never learn how to make animated gifs because you SUCK!"

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2487625/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2487625/ Sun, 23 May 2004 00:33:32 PDT Regret.

It sucks.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2480973/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2480973/ Sat, 22 May 2004 00:44:39 PDT
'tis not fair.

I be unlurved.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2465599/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2465599/ Wed, 19 May 2004 20:01:51 PDT [link]



]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2452430/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2452430/ Tue, 18 May 2004 00:13:06 PDT
I took many pictures.

Huzzah.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2415298/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2415298/ Wed, 12 May 2004 17:13:20 PDT Miss them crazy-like. 'Tis mom's birthday on saturday, and my procrastinating ass hasn't bought her a Birthday present yet. I curse myself now.

We're heading out shopping in a few min. so hopefully there's enough moolah in my bank account to suck out for a nice Candle or book or something. Ah, bless mom. She's the easiest person in the world to buy presents for!

Leaving tomorrow afternoon, will prolly be back Monday night.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2410815/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2410815/ Wed, 12 May 2004 00:41:50 PDT
* Unfuckupable: Words describing any character from Dragonball Z.

* BonoBoner: U2 isn't only famous for their lyrical content.

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Interesting words and phrases:

"Rub some Owl on it."
"Take Luck."


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Interesting imagery:

A fat, balding middle-aged white trash hillbilly sitting in his trailer squeezing dead baby guts out of a Mustard bottle and rubbing it all over his wifebeater.



]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2408358/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2408358/ Tue, 11 May 2004 17:26:35 PDT
All the kids at work ignored me. Almost every single one. Even Ryan, who loves me to pieces, wouldn't even give me a hug. It was like the world turned it's back on me today. Kirsten seems mad at me, there's people online who I want to talk to but they're not there, and I miss my parents so much it's starting to get to me. I feel homesick and for the first time in my life in this town of being a loner, I actually feel bummed about having no friends. I wish somebody would call me up and invite me out for a night of Holy Water's and whining. Because that's how I feel.

Bah.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2402697/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2402697/ Mon, 10 May 2004 20:50:06 PDT
#1: When you take the time to write out an emotional, deep, and meaningful bit of writing for others to read about and the ONLY thing they do in response is pick out a grammatical error or general error of some kind and say nothing on the actual subject of your writing.

#2. People who talk during movies, especially at the theatre. I did not pay 7 dollars to listen to you giggle and bitch to your little prepubescent teenyboppers about last night's episode of Dawsons Creek. Nor do I care how many times you've seen it. I don't want to know the ending, so

#3. People who abuse their art supplies. Such as; leaving paint to dry on their brushes and mashing the hairs into the bottom of the sink to clean them afterwards. You will burn for eternity.

#4. People who abuse their books. There are these things called: BOOKMARKS. USE THEM. Books are Holy and are worth a lot more than you, you shitbrick, so you had damn well better RESPECT.

#5. People who chew with their mouths open. Not only are you a disgusting PIG with no manners, but the noise of your obnoxiously loud chewing and spewing forth of food debris makes me want to put sharp things in your eyeballs.

#6. People who watch five minutes of each TV show and then change to the next channel. Yes, that's right. Let's wait until the show is just starting to get interesting...and then...CLICK. You are so wonderful. You get a Sticker.

#7. People who reply with; "Because." as a general answer. No, I'm sorry, but that does not satisfy me. In fact, it enrages me and leads me to believe that you are an asshat with no real reason so you hide behind that cursed word.

#8. People who have sex with their socks on.

#9. People who hold up long lines of impatient customers in order to do something trivial for their own personal gain, such as check fifty lottery tickets. Can that wait? Obviously not.

#10. People who chat on MSN or other IM programs using ONLY net lingo. lol omg a/s/l plz u sexxi sk9 boi!!1

#11. People who right-click protect pictures on their websites. Pictures. Not personal artwork. Copyrighted artwork I completely agree with. A scanned picture from a Magazine or something totally unrelated to YOU? No! Fuck you, you cumtart. Vegeta is NOT 'Yours' and you have no right to deny any of us that cool scan of him. I'll tell you who he belongs to. He belongs to Akira Toriyama. So again, and let me Save As, you cocksucker.

#12. People who do not say 'Please' and 'Thank You'. I loathe rude people and they should all be bitchslapped. Especially the ones who don't say "Thank You" when you go out of your way to do something for them, such as hold the door open or pass them a buttery bisquit. You wanna talk buttery, how about being a greasy tattooed bastards buttery cornhole? Say hello to your new bunkmate, Billy Bob.

#13. Camwhore sluts who call themselves artists. No, I'm sorry, but posting a picture of your new pink g-string crammed up your silky asscrack is NOT art, you giggling bitch.

#14. People who deny that they were snoring, or asleep. You wake them up to tell them stop snoring because you'd like to sleep too, and they get all fuckin' indignant on your ass and feverently deny that they were snoring. What the FUCK? Do you think I'm a deaf idiot with the mentality of a two year old mongloid? I KNOW you were snoring. I HEARD you. I didnt wake you up for nothing.

#15. Older people who think that just because you're a teenager, you're automatically scum. Oh Noez. I have a nose stud and I'm sporting a rebellious slogan on my T-Shirt. That proves that I am an underhanded kleptomaniac who will steal anything at any given moment in time. You'd better follow me around the store now, and ignore the people who actually NEED assistance. That's right.

#16. Hypocrites. We're all lying, cheating, backstabbing, lazy, underhanded assholes deep within. There's really no use denying that.

#17. People who think that animals are stupid simply because they cannot talk and they'll eat things off the floor. Ok. Then explain to me how a Dog can lead a blind man across the street, cook his dinner, bring him his mail, and predict an approaching storm or heart attack hours before it happens. You silly, silly human.

#18. Punk-asses who think that just be... ]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2396191/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2396191/ Mon, 10 May 2004 00:41:05 PDT kyran64

*glomps Phil*

He is the bestest ever!

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2386989/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2386989/ Sat, 08 May 2004 16:50:40 PDT


Oh, sexeh.

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2380365/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2380365/ Fri, 07 May 2004 16:45:20 PDT
Make eye contact. HOLD eye contact.

Smile. Show lot's of teeth.

I swear to god the next man who whistles at me and makes a derogatory comment will spend the rest of his nights in a hospital cuddling a bedpan.



]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2380355/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2380355/ Fri, 07 May 2004 16:43:24 PDT
]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2375156/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2375156/ Thu, 06 May 2004 21:01:39 PDT
]]> ~FiftyBelowZero http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2365324/ http://FiftyBelowZero.deviantart.com/journal/2365324/ Wed, 05 May 2004 12:35:25 PDT


Does anyone out there have MAD, MAD Icon SkillZ? I would like an animated gif type icon of a Xenomorph...maybe a few flashing Xenomorph faces perhaps? I don't know how to do icons like that (alas my skillZ are not very mad at all) and...uhmm....I will give you cookies?

]]> ~FiftyBelowZero