deviantART: by:Filmchild

deviantART: by:Filmchild http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Filmchild&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Filmchild en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 11:20:52 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png Meaning of Light http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28950854/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28950854/ Mon, 14 Dec 2009 20:11:21 PST
I used to be so enthusiastic about this time of year, about any holiday that involved family. Now I have the urge to just crawl away and hide till itÂs over. It doesnÂt feel like Âthe most wonderful time of the year.Â

I have been the chief decorator for some time now (when my mother discovered I wouldnÂt blow up the house). So last year I saved up from every paycheck to buy us a new one and I was so proud I could give it to my mother. That was a good day. So maybe itÂs because IÂve been sick recently, or maybe itÂs a sincere amount of self-pity, but I canÂt seem to muster the enthusiasm to put it up.

This will be the first Christmas without my dog, without my best friend. I know I need a life when I consider a dog to be my closest (non human) companion. I also know I need a life when I look on my iTunes and realize IÂve played one song 468 times. Probably more as I listen to it now.

I guess I donÂt feel like Christmas, donÂt feel the magic or the warmth, and my mother and I have been trying to survive ourselves, I canÂt even give back, as everyone should this time of year. I was taught Christmas was for the time for open hearts and peace, the time to give and never ask for anything in return. Now itÂs all about presents and how much you can spendÂ. Christmas used to be a divine holiday, what ever happened to it?

My fatherÂs family is Jewish, and Hanukkah has already begun, if not already ended. The Menorah/Chanukkah have the most beautiful symbolism. It stands as the light of the nation but also as a tribute to the lamp oil lasting eight days in a time of darkness.
One candle, the Âservant candleÂ or shammash is the candle in the middle, which is used to light the others each night.

IÂm shunned in the Jewish religion being a ÂshiksaÂ well, technically it's a derogatory term that refers to a non-Jewish woman paired with a Jewish man, but IÂm there along those lines. IÂm a half-breed, which is unclean. It makes me feel a little like an outcast but IÂve never stopped loving the heritage even if it didnÂt love me back.

I guess there is something to be said, something to be gained as so many holidays this time of year are all about optimism. ItÂs all about a peaceful time to look up with hope and to dream about the New Year ahead and all its possibilities.

I want to feel that hope, the warmth, and fling it out to the four corners to everyone I know, and even those I donÂt. The season is more, it makes people more then they allow themselves to be. So even though I wonÂt get anything that comes in paper or in a box, I want peace this year.

So being a Catholic I think IÂll light a candle this season. Drop my coins to the charity box and watch the little light that represents so muchÂmore.

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My Cell Phone Art [link] ]]> =Filmchild Defacebook http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28739076/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28739076/ Fri, 04 Dec 2009 00:32:56 PST planet who wants to be updated on every little thing that goes on in my life.

IÂm just not that popular or that interesting.

Only on Facebook would a girl I havenÂt seen since graduation ( five years ago) fill out a survey on me. She then proceeded to agree with the presumption that I would pick my nose in public.

Personally I didnÂt know I did thatÂbut IÂll remedy it without more ado!

While itÂs trivial, I find it funny that people who didn't even like me in high school take time out to fill out surveys that determine how good a person or friend I am.

It was a fun pastime to make fun of the stupid theater girl; I guess I think thatÂs why I like the show Glee. The show has a very enthusiastic girl passionate about performing, but gets sodas in the face and yearbook picture defacements.

Just another moment in life when I roll my eyes and sigh. I'll get into some holiday spirit and at least be glad these people would rather send me a Facebook requests, then shove me in a locker, or closet.

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My Cell Phone Art [link] ]]> =Filmchild Features http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28559048/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28559048/ Tue, 24 Nov 2009 23:05:13 PST Drat, I'm losing my CSS Mojo

Anyways features...
Recent work that has made me feel good, inspired me, or has just been incredible.

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My Cell Phone Art [link] ]]> =Filmchild Roses and Blackbirds http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28424902/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28424902/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:41:08 PST My rosebush decided to randomly up and bloom in November. Deep purple/pink blooms and deep green leaves, while meanwhile everything else is dead or dying.

If that wasnÂt odd enough my small town of Oakland Md. has a smallÂscratch thatÂhuge problem with crows. ItÂs been the last couple of weeks but the skies near the old town graveyard are simply black with them. They fly in huge flocks that number in the thousands. We once had a news write up about it. The town tries to get rid of them with odd pipedÂin sounds of birds that crows fear.

I donÂt think it works much. I like to joke that Alfred Hitchcock would feel quite at home. But it puts some people on edge as they say theyÂre a bad omen. I just think theyÂre a frightening sight to behold as a huge dark mass.

But I think roses and blackbirds are just some simple things next to the oddness that is life. How is it that someone I knew so well in high school, who was so promising and smart now has to fight for her life?

My friend Emily has HodgkinÂs disease, and what IÂm tying to understand is not whyÂ. but what it is about life that so many things depend on the luck of the draw?
Here she is in her very young prime of only nineteen years old, and while I know that the odds are in her favor of survival, they caught the disease late, so that complicates things.
It can cause other cancers too even after remission, not to mention heart disease.

Today she was in a wheelchair too weak to walk, I ran into her at a store. I barely recognized her not to mention I had no idea sheÂd been ill.

I was so unsure what to say, cancer is by far the foulest thing that ever existed, it cheats people out of their lives. My father wasnÂt strong enough to fight it, and I went through the fear of having cervical cancer myself.
I just hugged herÂ

IÂve wanted for a while to go into volunteer work for the childrenÂs cancer wards at the three hospitals in Morgantown. TheyÂve asked me to come and do some theater stuff, making masks or working with the puppets, but I wasnÂt sure if I would be strong enough. I canÂt stand to see anyone in pain, but if I could make a day brighterÂwell, wouldnÂt that be something?

Now....if the weather could just make up it's mind whether it's spring or fall I would be grateful....and so would my rosebush.

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My Cell Phone Art [link]

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]]> =Filmchild Another Friday 13th? http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28324360/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28324360/ Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:58:35 PST
I have the biggest urge to tempt the fates and say, ÂCome onÂ. do your worst.Â But IÂve seen what events follow when that happens and itÂs never pretty.

I live in a three black cat household, so IÂm pretty much screwed on that, so heck with it all. Theater made me superstitious, it was bond to rub off at some point what with the Macbeth curse. The stigma surrounding the infamous curse has long since caused all those involved in theater to call the play ÂThe Scottish PlayÂ in refrain from using the real name.

I always thought it made us sound like wizarding folks from Harry Potter using VoldeÂ. sorry, You Know WhoÂs name.

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IÂve been tagged for information, on this tag game thing. I guess I have to disclose information about myself and get it over with. ThatÂs scaryÂ.

IÂm 23; IÂll be 24 on the 24th of April.

I have brown eyes, and I hate em, and I have always wanted green, but contacts make me look possessed.

I play piano and have performed in concert before. I taught myself and I canÂt read music so itÂs hard for other musicians to share in my compositions, which range from film scores to full lyric songs.

I love M*A*S*H and Alan AldaÂs character Hawkeye.

Not much more to say being a boring individual.
IÂm tagging

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My Cell Phone Art [link]

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]]> =Filmchild Stepping Up and Stepping Stupid http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28171272/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28171272/ Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:45:33 PST
IÂm excited though; I on a whim dropped off a small portfolio for consideration. They liked it and contacted me. It may not pan out, or I may ask to do it later in the New Year. I very well might be moving and it would be a mess to do it now.

WhatÂs sad though is that I would invite my friends but they currently are scattered about the country, I should kidnap them for the opening if it goes through.

Now, I was voted most clumsy girl in my senior graduation class of 475. Funny how like a black hole trouble seems to pull me in and find me?

So while moving a table around a basement I stepped on nail on a random board. IÂve always heard pain is temporary, and maybe it is. Even with all the blood (never seeing so much of my own) I felt no pain.

Maybe itÂs because for a majority of my life IÂve been tossed around like a beanbag by horses. I blame the horse world for other injuries too. When bailing hay I stepped on a weak spot in the barn bridge and fell through. Proud of myself as I held on for a few minutes but I had no choice but to fall. It was 9ft to the bottom of the ravine and the extra sheet metal from the barn roof had been placed there. Cut my shoulder down to my elbow on that. Still no pain.

So maybe is itÂs only when someone you love bleeds does that somehow breech the space that connects your heart to your brain? Something clicks and everything becomes real and unreal at the same time, thatÂs when the pain begins, thatÂs when reality sets in.

I guess I felt sentimental, the last time I stepped on a nail my father and I were building a boat. I was ten years old, and he carried me to the car, then to the doctor. All the while he held my hand, he said, ÂDonÂt bleed too much kid, youÂll lose the best part of me I gave you.Â

SoÂwhile I havenÂt gone to the doctor, IÂm dreading the possibility of a shot, not the soreness but the price, Tetanus shots tend to be pricey without insurance, so leave it to me to mess myself up enough for a thirty dollar bill. It pans out I got thirty dollars from the lost dog groom I didÂeasy come easy go.

I suppose that itÂs going to be a record of how many times a person can step on a nail in her life, but maybe IÂm shooting for the title. After all, I am voted and I quote, ÂLauren E Jolles voted Must Clumsy and Most Likely to Write a Best Seller,Â

IÂll take comfort in the last title and write a book. *rolls eyes*

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My Cell Phone Art [link]

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]]> =Filmchild Devious Journal Entry http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28098138/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/28098138/ Sun, 01 Nov 2009 23:14:43 PST
We seemed to have sold our farm, and are now looking for a new home. We saw a beautiful old house today, perfect in everyway right down to the creaky doors. We donÂt think weÂll be able to afford it, but itÂs a pipe dream.

As for myself I find IÂm constantly thinking about how we ever got so much stuff in one house that we have to move when we do find a place. I swear a house eats things and then spits them out again.

I was offered a contact in the film industry recently, a possible position for a location manager. All it really involves is scouting out places appropriate to the look the director wants the film to have. The guy IÂm supposed to work for was location manager for the Transformers films. It may or may not pan out, but itÂs something. IÂve had to give up on film school for a while, so IÂm a little scared to be too excited about it.

Also recently I got a very unexpected surprise as one of my pieces was suggested for a DD. Even if they donÂt feature it I feel a little proud of myself, itÂs a wonderful compliment.

So overall things are beginning to get busy which is odd after what felt like an abnormally long summer. AlsoÂand IÂm hoping no one will yell at meÂ. IÂm excited about the New Moon film coming out this month. Sad to say the film looks better the book.

Also wanted to thank all the great folks who contributed to the Manor and whatnot. Also a word of apology to ~GojiraGirl75 who was so awesome in editing the soundtrack for it. Unfortunately I had a server outage ( the joys of living in Amish paradise) so I couldnÂt edit the link to it!

Anyways thank you to all who indulged me in my harebrain ideas.

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These are the movies I'm waiting for
[link]
My Cell Phone Art [link]

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]]> =Filmchild Welcome to the Manor Dates Extended http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27916456/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27916456/ Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:14:11 PDT
To Deviance Manor Deviantart Virtual Haunted House and Events!
Take a look around go in the Manor or visit the collections of chilling work.

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Disclamier
The Ghoul staff is not responsible for any sudden loss of life, limb, or sanity.
So please, enter at your own risk.

[link]

[link]

This is the soundtrack option, music that has already been posted on Youtube has been chosen accompany the Walk-Through.

Simply open this link in a new tab and have it play while viewing the Walk-Through.

[link]

[link]
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My Worst Nightmare Contest Poll
Open Located Below Journal

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Staff

http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27789761/ Thu, 15 Oct 2009 22:58:00 PDT all people participating in trick-or-treating

How do I trick-or-treat?
A TOT (aka trick-or-treater) must leave a comment on the front page or this icon

of any person who is participating. Simply comment Âtrick-or-treatÂ in whatever way you want andÂ.wait to see if they give you any candy.
The max any one person can give you is up to 10 pieces The person with the most candy pieces wins.

This can be a devious game as people do have the right to refuse you the goods.

But you can show them how heart broken you trully are by posting pack any of the approved revenge icons.
Put forks in yards or simply chose to have your certain candy person abducted, it's up to you.

http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27614570/ Tue, 06 Oct 2009 12:38:32 PDT

Updates

~~~Trick-or-Treating~~~

This will basically be answering comments on your front page. Someone will say, Âtrick-or-treatÂ and all you have to do is post one of the approved icons in answer with the comment of how many pieces this person gets. Please know that 10 candy pieces is all any one trick-or-treater may obtain from you at your page. If you refuse them candy they have the right to Âtoilet paperÂ you with an approved icon in retaliation.

If anyone is still iffy about the trick-or-treating please know that it will be explained further in the rules. It's pretty straight forward, answer a comment, give or not give out candy,( you might get toilet papered) and if you want nothing to do with the trick-or-treaters at all comment below your avatar in your slogan "porch light turned off". Because mom always told us never to go to a dark porch.

Rules for trick-or-treating will be posted very clearly in the event journal; anyone not respecting these rules will answer to me. Trust me IÂve worked too hard on this and am a little bad-tempered so no one better mess with me, donÂt post ignorant comments on other pages. If you do youÂll be sorryÂ. fair warning to you.

~~~Collections~~~

Running well but still need some submissions for the Book of Shadows literature collection. IÂm still getting a huge response from the thumbshare I started a little while back, so IÂll be starting one for literature when this one cools off a little. Right now I get more then 20 thumbshare submissions a day so IÂll wait to get this one over with.

~~~Contest~~~

Remember that the submission deadline for ÂMy Worst NightmareÂ is Friday the 16th. All art categories will be taken except for literature, and a voting poll will be set up to determine the winner. The prizes will include a subscription, custom Journal CSS and matching DA ID.

~~~Event Date~~~

HereÂs the three day event schedule folks, please remember it runs Friday the 23rd and will go till Sunday the 25th

Friday

Trick-or-Treating all day

Manor and Collections open for viewers

ÂMy Worst NightmareÂ contest voting polls open to determine winner

Post your polls, ask folks what their favorite horror or Halloween movies are. What costume is the most popular this year? SkyÂs the limit ask anything! (If you decide to post a poll this day please send me a link to it as IÂll have the polls in one place in the journal)
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Saturday

Trick-or-Treating all day

Theatrical makeup how-to and with question/answer talkback (possibly being posted in my shout box)

Thumbshare chat room opened link will be provided in this journal. Post your recent works, talk about the event, or just see whoÂs lurking there.
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Sunday

Winner of Trick-or-Treating will be announced

Winner of ÂMy Worst NightmareÂ will be announced

Honorable mentions, those who have put in that extra time in the event will get a little love with a feature.

=Filmchild Deviance Manor Updates http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27538613/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27538613/ Fri, 02 Oct 2009 12:35:14 PDT
]]> =Filmchild Autumn Features http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27478061/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27478061/ Mon, 28 Sep 2009 22:29:30 PDT

=Filmchild The Feeling of Small http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27419331/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27419331/ Fri, 25 Sep 2009 22:40:50 PDT
ItÂs hard to put into words, IÂve sat in front of the television and have watched the protests turn into riots, the people screaming for justice for their various needs and causes.

I sat there, me, a twenty-three year old girl, who has yet to find a place in the world watch as the world she so desperately wants to explore becomes darker and more tired then ever.

IÂve heard people say that the reason for wanting justice for the small people was because I was one of them. ItÂs true I guess, IÂve come from a working class family, and while most of my family is deceased I find it was a noble way to have lived their lives. To have worked for the food on the table, to cherish the good times because you created it, to have seen a physical example of their lifeÂs workÂitÂs everything.

So in saying that, being a small person, I see the facts from ground level. I see the tears when there is no money to buy food, felt the hurt when education is out of reach, experienced the helplessness of not knowing where your future will lead you. And in the midst of it all itÂs hard to keep a dream alive where there is no room for it.

So while the worldÂs leaders went their various ways and the cityÂs streets quieted, a sad emotion fills me. There is a possibility that a family, not blocks away from a protest, sits around a kitchen table eating dinner with the daunting task of scraping money together for next weekÂs groceries.
IÂve been there, IÂve seen it, and IÂve walked that path. And I can say that the worst wear on the soul is being aware that you can find no happiness in your life because you are forced to think about what you have to do without.

Meanwhile I felt stupid and hurt about something that was said to me over a recent piece today. It was a jest on those who disliked the Twilight scene. I lost a watcher today; my work was called bullshit, and stolen.

How could I explain that in the midst of it all I was trying to inspire laughter? I wanted to encourage us all to laugh at ourselves and at life, and to not take ourselves too seriously. It backfired as so often things tend to do to me, but I was inspired to carry on as so many small people like myself do now days. I was inspired by the courage it took to take to the streets with an outcry of patriotism, justice and peace.

So while my art may offend and I may lose favor, IÂve been able to come here and work on a craft that would allow me to express myself. For that I am never sorry but thankful, thankful to those who have supported me, have given me advice and a kind word.

Most of all IÂm thankful for something to look forward to in my small little life, something to give my self a little to everyday. In that since, I never feel small again.

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List of Ghouls for Deviance Manor Project
[link]

]]> =Filmchild Updated List of "Ghouls" http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27367529/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27367529/ Thu, 24 Sep 2009 22:27:04 PDT Photobucket

]]> =Filmchild Deviance Manor Tricks and Treats http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27301390/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27301390/ Sat, 19 Sep 2009 14:04:09 PDT
There will be other categories and other events and whatnot. For goodness sakes I even had the idea of DA Âtrick-treatingÂ

Anyway I hope people will like the idea and help out by participating. I wrote a news article [link] about it and hopefully IÂll get some bites. But should anyone want to participate let me know.

]]> =Filmchild Oh just drop a house on me http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27179898/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27179898/ Sat, 12 Sep 2009 22:02:55 PDT
The doctor says I may have pneumonia, which I find to be really funny as I havenÂt been sick in almost half year, of which I thought was a great personal accomplishment.

Meanwhile mom and I are looking for a house in Morgantown, which is an adventure in of it self. We checked out a little farmhouse built in 1920 on the outskirts of the city. IÂve always wanted an old house; something about them just screams ÂhomeyÂ to me. Plus I would love decorating an old place for Christmas.
Maybe I should have been alive in the 1920 or 30s as I just have so many old fashioned likes.

Anyways, donÂt think that particular house is something we want; while cute as anything it needs a lot of repairs. When I went to check out a built-in drawer in the wall the drawer was all but missing. I looked pretty stupid and surprised.
Mom and I laughed at that one.

I might also have a DA Halloween project in mind for a haunted house Âwalk throughÂ of DevyÂs each one a different room. The idea may be stupid but when I came up with it I got excited about it. It may be something fun for Halloween and get some people some love their work.

SoÂIÂm coughing and sneezing but I have a smile on my face (or trying anyway)

Now, whereÂs my tissues?

]]> =Filmchild The Grapevine http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27079607/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/27079607/ Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:52:54 PDT
WeÂve had a family out to look at the farm and might be interested in buying it. It would be a new chapter moving to a new place where I didnÂt have the worry of repairs and finances a farm requires. IÂm a little melancholy though as IÂve grown up in this house, lost my father and grandmother here, and have become who I am for better or worse. IÂll miss the area but we would only be moving an hour away to Morgantown where my college is located. No matter where I am or what IÂm doing I will always be Lauren and home is just a place to hang a hat, the real home I carry with me always.

Meanwhile IÂve been checking my grape arbor hoping to get a decent yield to make a little wine with. My farm (which is rather overgrown) has a tendency to make things grow in odd ways when not tended to. I suppose that being said I shouldnÂt have been so surprised when I discovered that my grapes had climbed the back wall of the henhouse and into the trees where it flourished.
Now I have an odd predicament as I am trying to figure out how to pick the grapes that now hang almost ten feet above my head amongst the tree limbs.

I find it funny as it reminded me of myself. I think should I be a grapevine I would climb a tree and grow there. I suppose it needed more room to grow and needed to go where it could flourish. In that since I should go where I can grow too.

But who ever heard of picking grapes from a tree? IÂm now on the hunt for a tall ladder, or to enlist the help of one of my horses for a boost.
IÂve decided to take a clipping from my madcap vine and start it should I move. ItÂs a reminder to always search for sunlight, and to reach for greater heights.

]]> =Filmchild Alls Well That Ends Well http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/26905625/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/26905625/ Sat, 29 Aug 2009 22:48:31 PDT
Not to mention that IÂm taking this time to work on and hopefully finish my book. That makes me really excited. Who knows, maybe if I become a published author I might be able to pay back some student loans?
Not worried about it for now anyway as IÂll be going back in the spring or next fall. My mother threatened me with dragging me by my hair as no matter what I was going.

So ok, IÂve got the school thing figured out, I have a tad more focus and feel really empowered. Now all I have to do now is figure out how to stop my Beagle from eating my kitten.

ItÂs always something.

]]> =Filmchild Laugh or Pass Out http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/26703560/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/26703560/ Wed, 19 Aug 2009 23:23:44 PDT
A couple offered us a price on the farm which I can say IÂm happy about, even if the price is not what itÂs worth, but to tell the truth I have no idea what things are worth anymore in todayÂs world.

So IÂll be scrambling to get the house show worthy and pray that they still want the place. ItÂs sad as I grew up here and IÂll miss it, the house is beautiful but too big for my mom and I. I know IÂll have to give up my horses, but IÂve had to give up a lot recently so itÂs kind of a numb issue.

Meanwhile my new addition to the household my beagle Elsie decided to go into my purse and pull out the one thing I wish she wouldnÂt have chewed upÂmy driverÂs license.
SheÂs the kind of dog that would literally eat your homework but with a really sweet personality and beautiful eyes.
Needless to say I was freaked, as I now have to go to the DMV and get another issued, and thinking about it my state charges you for lost or damaged licenses. I guess I should be grateful it wasnÂt my Social Security card as not only is it the original but I think I would somehow no longer exist in my country without it.

My mom joked and said that as least people could read my birth date so I could still buy alcohol. I rolled my eyes at her, as it wasnÂt high on my priority list as I rarely drink even though IÂm 23.

Meanwhile I canÂt seem to get this stupid book out of my head that IÂve been working on. It nags at me until I have to throw off the covers at night and work on it so my mind can rest.
How strange is it that I have begun to compose scenes in my head to entertain me while trying to fall asleep? ItÂs like bedtime stories for me, which is a little absurd. I just feel like I should get it done by the end of the year, I want so badly to get it finished.

My worry is, who would want to read a story about a young man in 1800's England who is forced to become a vampire in order to repay a debt of his fatherÂs? Oh I didnÂt mention time travel but itÂs in there.

I guess the horror is that my overall grammar is so atrocious IÂve been led to believe that while my work maybe entertaining itÂs a mess, and that has been a real issue that has stopped me from writing for a long time.

So summer is gone, IÂm having minor disagreements with my dog, IÂm OCDing with my book at night, and IÂve chewed my nails to the quick hoping to be able to get stuff done in time.
I have to laugh at it all or IÂll pass out.

]]> =Filmchild My Miracle http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/26538976/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/26538976/ Wed, 12 Aug 2009 00:15:33 PDT
I suppose miracles can happen and itÂs so funny how my whole life has been really been a blessing do IÂve never asked for a miracle (other then succeeding in my profession which will be a miracle).

The other day I checked my student email account for what I knew could be the last time in a while as I thought I wasnÂt returning to school. There under my financial aid information was a summery of what I was owed to pay for this years semester which totaled 27,700 dollars.

I almost burst into tears until I looked over and saw what amount financial aid had given t me, which was 27,700 dollars.

I couldnÂt believe it, I had to call them to make sure, and the reason why I got as much was my A/B average throughout the year.

So it very much looks like I might be returning to school, which not only makes me excited but terrified. I had resigned myself to not going back and now I have to scramble to get ready to pack and move but also get back into school mode and hopefully not crash and burn my first week.

But oh my God, it feels like if I have enough courage I can seem to get where I want to go. I know to some it may seem so stupid to want to get educated for the fine arts/film but I want to be a filmmaker more then anything and I wonÂt be happy until I have accomplished that.

When I first wrote that I would not be returning to school I got an overwhelming response with well wishes and suggestions. I have to thank you all, as it really has helped me cope and give me courage.

I hope to work out living expenses I know IÂll have to work almost full time should I go back to Morgantown.

Nothing is finalized yet but things look good, so I hope and cross my fingers.

]]> =Filmchild Photography Feature http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/26494794/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/26494794/ Sun, 09 Aug 2009 23:15:46 PDT
There is something about Angela Jayne Barnett aka ArwensGraceÂs work that seems to exude the very nature of warmth and beauty that the human eyes by the camera can only hope to capture.

I find myself transported by her work in both photography and digital art. However, I think that talented photographers are so hard to find and I truly hope that Ms. Barnett continues to share her beautiful eye with the world.

]]> =Filmchild TGIF http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/26307650/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/26307650/ Fri, 31 Jul 2009 21:51:31 PDT I can help but understand what me meant after this previous week or so. First, I found myself struggling with a dog that was a little more then part wolf. We had had one dog/wolf before that once came through our shop but this dog more then the other looked the part of itÂs wilder brother. Meaning it looked like a wolf. His back came to my waist, and while I may be ugly I am not a short person being 5Â9.
He was fun in the bath shaking with the water flying everywhere, I found my hair falling from itÂs ponytail and water dripping from my nose, such that I think it was I who got the bath rather then Fritz.
So while feeling like a little awed I got to some real time with the wolf dog and felt either like Bella, Little Red Riding HoodÂor someone who runs with the wolves.

It was another day, or night rather, that my mobile rang only to hear the sound of a very panicked friend who had a very unfortunate incident involving a deer busting through the windshield of her aunts car on the way home from somewhere.
I therein had to go (into a horrible storm I might add) get her and others in the car to bring them home. Luckily no one was hurt but they were seriously shaken.
I had to take my friend to the hospital to get some glass shards washed out of her eyes, but she turned out to be fine.
However, I can say that it was a bit of a shock when lighting hit the ground near my car toward the driverÂs seat.
IÂd never seen lighting that close before; it was like a giant had decided to snap my picture. I had been told once that in a car youÂre safe, but IÂd rather not test that particular theory.

I hate hospitals though, I never used to mind them when I was young but now the stinging smell of medicines and cleaners makes my head throb. In a biology class I once had to work in dissection, and the phamaldahide smell, which many associate with the smell of death, almost made my stomach turn.

All in all I would say it was a quiet week, as no week is complete without wolves and lighting.

Saw the Potter flick again with a friend who likes the films and had never seen the new one, and this time round I saw things I had missed before.

For one in the library scene with Hermione and Harry a boy had a dirty magazine ÂdiscreetlyÂ hidden inside another book he was reading. When I saw that I simply roared with laughter, my friend most likely thinking IÂd lost it as it was obvious she did not catch the joke.
Not to mention that Tom Riddle had seven seashells atop of his windowsill which intentional or not is foreshadowing clue to the next chapter of the Potter films.

Meanwhile I have tried to find a home for a little kitten I had found and with no luck. So it seems I have inherited another member of my Âfurry familyÂ and the little calico I named Sophie.
So now I have five cats: Wickett, Willaby, Gilbert, Peanut Butter, and last but not least, Sophie. And my three dogs Ditto Cheyenne and Elsie.

If all else fails I can be one of those little odd ladies with a million cats and a creepy house.

]]> =Filmchild Wading Through Tears http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/26063324/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/26063324/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 10:41:37 PDT Why is it that college has become something for the rich and not for someone who wants to achieve his dream?
WhatÂs worse is that after I withdraw I have to start paying back on my student loans, which I find ironic because if I could afford to pay the loans back I would be going to school.
For a long while I have been hesitant to tell people what my major was as people looked at me as if I was doomed to fail. ÂTheatre major huh?Â they would sneer, and I would go all red in the face and mumble something about wanting to go into film school too at some point.
Arts are something people think will never give you enough stability to live a normal life, put food on the table, and pay bills. Well, I tried to think of something else I wanted to do but every time I did it began to break my heart, and a pain would well up in my chest until my eyes would fill with it.

I used to think that I was a passionate person, but I have learned, in many harsh lessons that while passion is great to have, the tools and the resources to work with them are needed as without them the talent I may have may as well be nothing.
So, I tried to do something to make me happy creatively, photo-manipulations. I started out with my work looking like crap, and then I get to the point where I liked my work and now I have problems with it again.

Now I find that while I may have some watchers I get little responses and my page views may total up to eight a day. While I know it shouldnÂt matter, it does, as I wanted in some way to share myself without failure.

I have thought to talk to the dean of the Creative Arts Center who has been my advisor since I came to WVU but IÂm scared to get my hopes up in telling him my situation and then hoping there might be a possibility of staying. I feel writing about it may jinx it. I may have the opportunity to go back next semester and just sit out the fall, my mother seems confident and assures me I will go back if thatÂs what I want. She loves me and I know she knows how much I want to succeed.

IÂve never said, but IÂm a Catholic but my late father was Jewish. I know it sounds strange but I find myself to be a unique person.
ItÂs then that while I may have moments of doubt in faith I can only hope that this has a plan and somehow I will achieve what IÂve wanted since junior high. I love to tell stories and I hope I am granted the opportunity to tell all of mine.

]]> =Filmchild The New Harry Potter Film http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/25990384/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/25990384/ Thu, 16 Jul 2009 17:05:25 PDT The Half Blood Prince when I first read it felt like there were so many things missing from it as it truly feel as if I have journeyed with Harry and suffered with him, felt his joys and his loneliness. That said it has been a very rich world that J.K Rowling has created, so much to unearth that it seems almost as if there are parts of the last two novels that felt as if they had a certain amount of emptiness to them. I wanted more from them but at the same time they are gems in the world of literature and while Twilight and itÂs brother-like books come and go out of fashion it can be said that Harry and his world will be considered a classic of sorts for a very long time.

For the film I can say that when composer John Williams (for reasons I have no idea) left the Harry Potter scene his soaring music and his infamous HedwigÂs Theme were sourly missed by me. Not to mention that it seems that the filmÂs writers seem to love to twist the events in order to save screen time.

Overall being a shrewd judge of films (which I might take a little too seriously) I think that this film tried to fit in as much as possible while staying in their two-hour limit.
This film came more from a screenwriterÂs perspective and therefore was more pleasing to the eye. Some of the lines while not in the novel were truly beautiful. The fans of the Lupin/Tonks relationship should be forewarned as it seems that they simply get together while skipping the entire time that Tonks mopes around longing for the love of the poor professor.

Ginny and Ron get more screen time and that pleased me, overall I would say that even with all the squabbles I have with the films this was by far one of the best. I would have given my right arm to work on the set and even with the fill-in for John Williams the composer had some very beautiful themes of which I enjoyed.

I suppose that I have so sincerely fallen in love with Harry Potter as it seemed that I aged with him and that while he emerged from his cupboard I was coming out from mine.

]]> =Filmchild Moonlighting http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/25840989/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/25840989/ Thu, 09 Jul 2009 14:26:12 PDT I live in the area where the mountains are literally the oldest in the world and having that many years behind them itÂs up to the imagination to what secrets they hold.
So this summer I have gone along with a friend/family member, a cousin by marriage to some places I had never gone before even with me living here so long.
Up in a area called Mt. Storm there is a lake that is pure and warm all the time because of a hydro-electric plant that constantly turns the water to make power for the surrounding towns. The water is warm year round and due to this the catfish get huge always escaping capture and freezing.
But another alluring fact is that other then the small houses that surround this lake there is no one to be found there; especially at night, which is the time, Sarah and I like to go.
The moon recently has been fat in its roundness and the light lit the water and itÂs low-lying mist such that we could see without need of another light.
Sarah is fearless when it comes to hurling herself off the tall wooden docks into the water below and the higher she jumps to go further out the better.
I did a few dives as at one time I used to be on a team but found that belly flops are what IÂm good at now. I have to learn the hard way that skills unused become no skills at all.
The water is almost healing, as it seems to wash away your troubles and leaves you feeling like a clean soul.

Then dripping wet we climb into my Jeep and we were off the old Ashby Cemetery that lies at the end of an old gravel drive that at night gets a funny fog that likes to linger.
Sarah has sworn that she has gotten Âbad vibesÂ from the place and swears up and down she has seen ghosts. I on the other hand have had doubts to the world of the ÂundeadÂ as I would believe in a ghost if it tapped me on the shoulder and said ÂHelloÂ but as of yet no ghost has been that brave.
It was there I found myself in a eerie setting as often around here in the 1800s people were often buried in stone coffins in order to way them down. Therefore itÂs a gruesome image to see that the hill on which Ashby Cemetery is planted is falling away from the years of erosion. Thus, some of these old stone coffins can be seen sticking partway out of the ground.
And while I stood there at night looking at the sad remains I turned around to see Sarah gone. It was almost cinematically funny as looking left and right I didnÂt see her until I saw her shadow as she was running like a little girl back to the car.
It was almost too much to take that I started laughing and the sound echoed off the hills in such a way, that soon after I too was heading (rather swiftly) to the vehicle as well.

ItÂs a summer sweetness that seems to follow these adventures, and I know we plan to satisfy our macabre cravings by returning to the odd place as well as others.
I personally want to take pictures of the place, for stock if nothing else, but what we have come to do at night I have come to call ÂmoonlightingÂ as it seems for a while at least we become travelers for the night and forget the troubles behind us.

]]> =Filmchild Happy 4th http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/25738084/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/25738084/ Sat, 04 Jul 2009 15:41:07 PDT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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]]> =Filmchild Contest Results http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/25538746/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/25538746/ Thu, 25 Jun 2009 12:13:16 PDT Please know it was a tough decision as I truly appreciate all artwork, and all the submissions were special in their own ways. I thank you for the entries and I hope to see you all again later if I have another contest.

Thanks again
Filmchild

To see all the submissions they can be fond here [link]

_{First Prize}
A personalized Journal CSS
Stamp
Avatar motion or still
One free manipulation with the option of making it with your photos of yourself or stock images.
News article feature discussing your views in art how you feel about it as a hobby, as a release, a career path, whatever.
The article will also display your best pieces you chose to have featured with links to your gallery and DA page.
Journal features in my and Mirror Image StockÂs journals with links to your best works and a fun question and answer to let people know more about you.

_{Second Prize}
Custom avatar moving or still
Stamp
Exclusive stock usage from Mirror Image Stock & Fimchild Creations, and a Journal feature

_{Third Prize}
Personalized DA I.D and matching stamp

~~In Traditional Category~~
First Place

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Second Prize

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Third Prize

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~~In the Photo-manipulation Category~~

First Prize

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Second Prize

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~~In the Other Category~~
First Place

-by

Second Prize

-by http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/25528690/ Wed, 24 Jun 2009 23:12:42 PDT I was there when the doctor put him under and I remember that she told me he was gone and it was like something in me left too. He was for such a very long time my best friend, my comfort, and my one thing to look forward to. I was there when he came into my life and I was there when he left it.
Meanwhile I find myself back at home again which is both good and bad I suppose as living in a small town with only 2,000 residents is hard, plus money is tighter then ever, but what else is new? ItÂs nice in a way as my mother and I make the most of what we have and simple things are so much more important. On the downside we give up a lot but I figure we could do worse then so many others and I feel blessed.

Also I acknowledge that while I was away the messages piled up on me to the point of having a hundred and some messages not to mention the eight or nine notes. I am very sorry I have not been more diligent in checking my mail but things happen. Now I fear whatÂs in my inbox that not only is there something living in there but that I will open up notes to have the contestants of the contest yell at me for being so late on the deadline. Well, again IÂm sorry the new entries that were given to me will be up and shortly after the results.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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]]> =Filmchild House of Ghosts Journal http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/24627321/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/24627321/ Wed, 06 May 2009 22:15:40 PDT

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]]> =Filmchild Wings of Desire http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/24257623/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/24257623/ Wed, 15 Apr 2009 14:00:47 PDT IÂve been writing which a professor once said was a lonely business, and I replied that I have friends in the works I write, which he thought was interesting answer.

IÂve always seemed to be alone no matter how the cards were dealt and as my twenty-third birthday approaches I think that maybe itÂs meant to be.
Mind you, I donÂt necessarily like being alone. My elder brother was born brain damaged and lives with my aunt as he got better opportunities there, and I havenÂt seen him for years. So my mother is all I have really.

Yet so often being alone is noted to be a cold distant thing. I recently watched a film for a film course, Wings of Desire which was the original film to City of Angels and I must say that itÂs different from the remake. For one itÂs mostly in German with English subtitles, and the girl doesnÂt die at the end, which was a turn off for me with the remake. I watched the film once and was so heart broken for the fallen angel I never saw it again.
But while I watched the film I was left with a real feeling of loneliness as I watched these two angel figures, friends for eternity watch the earth evolve and age. One fell in love with a woman and was faced with the choice to become human as he could see the world but never be truly a part of it.

So while I felt sorry for myself I could see how, even though it was a fictional character, that being human comes with loss, loneliness, and sadness, but also pure joy for the life that is so vibrant.
So IÂll hug my little stuffed dog (at the age of twenty-two) that I named Puppy, which I thought was an original name at the age of two.

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]]> =Filmchild Why One Should Never Go Into Theatre http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/24042358/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/24042358/ Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:50:30 PDT I suppose then I should have added this to my list, which is basically finding myself taking my ÂclothesÂ off in front of an audience.
Yes it sounded like a huge gasp when I heard what was required of the puppeteers at the end of the departmentÂs show, which was to in fact wear underwear over our blacks ( our all black clothing) and on stage take them off at curtain.
Why? It was a question I had to ask, itÂs called Illusions, and thus dubbed as an ÂadultÂ puppet show, everyone ran with a taboo theme.
Therefore I found myself looking through my small room looking through my draws deciding for the first time in my life what underwear would lookÂ. good together I suppose.
I hope I never have to this again, as not only I have never been a person with means to get interesting undergarments, but mostly IÂve never cared.
So now my cheeks are red despite the fact that IÂm not actually stripping (although my nightmare of a professor would have us done so if possible). I feel as if my last shred of dignity has been taken from me, so in result IÂll go in to denial mode, read a book in-between performances, for IÂve come to the conclusion that I have had to do some very odd things in order to get through the education to get to film school.

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]]> =Filmchild To Puppet or Not to Puppet http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/23964463/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/23964463/ Mon, 30 Mar 2009 08:14:28 PDT Still as I looked to my inbox 84 messages in the last few days was a real stunner. They were like a cherry hello that said Â Have no fear there are people who want to say something to you todayÂ
No really, unlike Facebook, which I recently joined and I basically hate, I find I am at home here with people who have ambitions whereas Facebook seems to be an odd web of ÂDo you know this person?Â or ÂThis person says hello!Â
It makes me wistful for the times a hello was simply a note passed to you in class.
Not AIM or IM or texting, and sadly the letter in regular post have become obsolete.

Meanwhile I am in a conundrum, I never had a professor who honestly didnÂt care about someone losing a job to a class commitment. To make what I consider a long story short Having little money to tide me over I was not only expected to take what little I had to buy materials to create a professional looking puppet for an adult show. I was in tears as I sat in her eclectic office trying to explain that I had a job that I was told I could never under any circumstances take off work. She eyed me over her desk and told me that it didnÂt matter that she herself had work to do, and that I was not the only one to make sacrifices.
So my job is most likely lost, what money I do have will go for something I canÂt afford, and my back is to the wall.

I suppose that for the small amount of people who do read my journal the lesson is that I keep trying even when the odds are against me. I keep troging along hoping to find a break somewhere knowing that most likely people will not give it to me.

It was heartbreaking; I went out of the office and cried, marched out of the arts center through the cold rain to my car to cry someplace more private.

My mother said it was bravery that kept me coming back for more, but in truth it was what IÂve become and whether itÂs bravery or something else, the fact of the matter is I have no idea how to be anything else.

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]]> =Filmchild 13th http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/23292397/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/23292397/ Thu, 19 Feb 2009 16:24:57 PST
Then, Friday the 13th came and I was never one for a certain superstitions only because I own three black cats and I have never once had bad luck because of them crossing my path. True, I trip over them in the kitchen but thatÂs because they beg for food because theyÂre spoiled rotten.
But the Day of Bad Luck squeaked over a tad the next day when my cell phone was accidentally elbowed into a class of pepsi. At first the effect was kinda funny as it did everything but throw sparks, dialing random people getting on a network or two and changing the wallpapers.
Then when the battery finally died my car charger broke for no apparent reason, so I came to the conclusion that the luck gods were smiting me.

All is well ironically my little stoic phone is still working and my happy fish wallpaper continues to make me happy. ButÂmaybe I believe in ÂBad Luck DaysÂ.

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]]> =Filmchild The Last Day http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/22681328/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/22681328/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:24:41 PST ItÂs the symbol of hope that he brings rather then the color of his skin or how many landmarks he has made, but rather that the people who suffer without a helping hand will hopefully find a voice and be given a new pride in themselves but most importantly in their lives as so many Americans seem to have fallen under a spell of shear hopelessnessÂno, more or less not having the mean to help themselves. What can you do to save your house from foreclosure if there isnÂt even money to pay for groceries? It comes to the point of deciding to pay for heat or food, education or medical needs. It asks the hard question if things get too bad, what do you live for?

It was reported that an estimated 30,000 people came to gather at the footsteps of the Lincoln memorial where at one time Martin Luther King once stood and lead the March on Washington. So maybe there is hope for us, somewhere in the future there might be some light to the current fog we all seem to be stumbling in. Maybe because hundreds of people who were of all different race, creed, religion, and social standings theyÂ. we came together and said that we were not willing to give up our dream of something innate to us, the ability to have our voice, our rights, and our freedom unhindered, unbroken, and united.

So I post this with the knowledge that this is The Last Day, a New Years in a since as by tomorrow night there will be a new democratic leader, a new start, and even though the future is uncertain, with the uncertainty there is also hope.

These are the movies I'm waiting for
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]]> =Filmchild 123 http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/22425466/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/22425466/ Mon, 05 Jan 2009 23:15:49 PST I suppose that itÂs of interest as so often I find myself in a place that is noteworthy. ItÂs a place that if walls could talk they would have great deal to say, and a haven for all the actors, artists, filmmakers, and people of the arts to hide while all the other college town partyÂs.

Once a part of the Underground Railroad the club took on the name ÂThe Underground RailroadÂ (how original) and in the forties was a dance hall. The owners have gone down in history as well. A woman by the name I think of Martha once owned the building and ran it, but then one day disappeared from the face of the earth. Some say that she was dealing with the mob and was Âtaken outÂ and to this day is buried in the walls of the Warner, which is a very old movie theatre that plays revival films. I like to think that she made a killing of the place and is now sipping frozen drinks in a tropical place.
Like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop we may never know.
I do know that everyone raises his or her glasses to her once a year.

The place is simply called 123 now, as that is its address: 123 Pleasant Street. ItÂs what I like to call Âgrunge beautifulÂ with walls of plaster crumbling artistically to show the brick underneath, dim lighting and posters old enough to be my grandfatherÂs. ItÂs been the stomping ground for the artistic and fashionably ÂdarkÂ for years and has even had huge names such as the Strokes play.

I find myself to be happy once and a while to find a table to sit and be content to listen to the local talent and watch the natives who in the early 50Âs and 60Âs would have been considered the people that dress all in black with French bur rayÂs and tap on bongo drums while reciting poetry.

I never classify myself as I never fit into a category, but I think I might like bongos. I like the people, but most of all I like the atmosphere; old dark moody and alive. It might not be for everyone, as I know some who would prefer a much newer scene, but very recently IÂve come to appreciate the history of the place and thus have found a source of inspiration that a place to stand such a test of time certainly deserves to have a place in the arts.
.

These are the movies I'm waiting for
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]]> =Filmchild Christmas http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/22129706/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/22129706/ Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:14:34 PST I feel so old in that fact as my mother, even though she loves Christmas and my ever-loving nature to ÂnestÂ making a house a home for the holidays, cleaning up afterwards was an issue for her.
Now I sympathize. But no, really IÂll make our home a nice little holiday house for Christmas, and what with us having somewhat a log home itÂs perfect really. I also use a lot of natural things found in our endless woods being in the mountains of western Maryland I donÂt need to buy pine branches or anything of the sort, I even consider myself to me something of a miniature Marta Stewart (even though personally IÂm not found of the woman for mutable reasons) I really enjoy it.

I just feel like I need to take a break, take a breath or something. But IÂm not complaining as I am more blessed this year then I have been in seasons past. I miss my grandmother (who enjoyed Christmas trees but never liked to even bother with them) she always smelt of cookie dough about this time of year, as she would bake up a storm for the neighbors and friends. I miss her smell and her voice, her singing and the creak of a kitchen stool where she would sit.
But whatÂs funny is that even though she is no longer with me IÂve never lost her. I wear her diamond ring, which consists of three diamonds from different rings that my grandfather had made for her. She left it to me and hoped as I do that someday it may serve as engagement ring. Till then the diamond in truth is my birthstone and itÂs little bit of my grandmother that is as beautiful as she was.

There is no snow this year in my neck of the woods but I can honestly say that I donÂt miss it. True the graying mountains and the trees that are bare seem less desolate when theyÂre covered in snow, but I donÂt miss the mess of it all. Maybe thatÂs why it didnÂt feel like Christmas for a while. It still doesnÂt, possibly due to the freak weather or simply the mere incredibleness of how fast the time has sped that the year is over. I ask the age-old question Âwhere did the time go?Â Maybe it goes into that black void that lost earrings, CDs, and socks in the dryer seem to find themselves.

So overall I feel happy and thankful with only a tad since of loss that I normally feel during the holidays. But what is more that itÂs more hope and expectation for the New Year, and if there is anything I love more, itÂs something to look forward to.

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]]> =Filmchild Turkey, Plays, and Hope http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/21720265/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/21720265/ Fri, 28 Nov 2008 19:25:07 PST So itÂs (or at the very least it was Thanksgiving break. Most of the week was spent wondering sleeping in, a novelty I have not had in quite a while. I spent a pleasant Thanksgiving dinner with my family that consisted of my mother (who normally is a fantastic cook) made dishes no one wanted to eat, and of course my uncle yelling at my cousin Jess and I to turn off our cell phones at the table. Then Jess (who is a teacher and like my sister and therefore I call her kids my nieces) told as a story of the first Thanksgiving. We all listened as she spoke and I got a glimpse of what it was like to be in one of her elementary school classes. Meanwhile my other little niece sat with mashed potatoes on her face and we talked laughed as we tried to get my oldest niece Jaryn to try turkey ( I lied and said it was chicken, but no dice there).
I love my family, it was small but it grows, I see myself in them and I am thankful for them and what they have given me.

Meanwhile during this break IÂve been writing a play, a short one simply a one-act but it deals with issues of a college student having to dropout of college due to not being able to afford it any longer.
ItÂs an issue I feel strongly about as so often I have come to a decision on having to buy a school book or gas or food, which makes me wonder if college has not become the pastime for the rich rather then a necessity to be able to be able to obtain any kind of life.
Still, we bungle through it and American dream seems to fall by the wayside as people wonder not what they should give their children for Christmas, but if in fact by that time next year if they will even have a house to call home at all.
When or if I finish it will be submitted for the laboratory theatre in which the school puts on productions and might be considered to be presented by the university.
I can only hope that inspiration and my recent fear of writing will surpass so I can get it done.
Funny how when youÂre scared of something fate seems to present it to you tenfold. One of my professors wants me to take an independent study with him and write him a screenplay based on an idea I had for a docudrama, then playwriting? IÂm rolling my eyes at the thought as at one time I wanted to be a novelist and was happy to show someone my work, but recently IÂve been hesitant. I suppose there is only so much rejection one can take, and living in my profession I major in two things: Theatre and Rejection.

But IÂll give it a go, will lean back in my chair and write what comes to mind from my heart and hope for the best.
If anything this year IÂm thankful for my hope and my ability to keep hope alive, so many people are not in the position for dreams but maybe somehow that will all change.

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]]> =Filmchild Autumn http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/21377848/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/21377848/ Fri, 07 Nov 2008 18:54:10 PST

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]]> =Filmchild The Farm of Frights http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/21172906/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/21172906/ Sun, 26 Oct 2008 14:25:48 PDT Then of course of the guests who arrive drunk and or high, which is frightening in that of it self. ItÂs a night of fun and partying and we the actors are at the blunt of it.
I have been thanking god I am an EMT, as I recently had to patch up a young guy who was knocked over by a drunken girl. His nose and mouth were both bleeding.
What scared me was that I couldnÂt find the source of the bleeding, which meant that more often then not itÂs something internal. His nose wasnÂt broken and his teeth had all been accounted for which led me to believe that somehow something had hit his nose string enough to break a small capillary. His mouth could have been bleeding because his head had been tilted back and the blood could have been running down his nasal cavity.
He will live, but what I can honestly say is that the word ÂFright FarmÂ never rang so true in so many non-obvious ways.
Very often we as the actors who are the heart and soul of this massive production are treated with downright annoyance and shear lackadaisical attitude. I have started to associate us with that of animatronic people who jump to life at any passerby.
So what can we do? Nothing pure and simple, most if not all of us need the job and the money (even though in meager amounts) is what we live off of. All in all it would be a great place to work and a fun and profitable atmosphere for everyone if things were changed and we were not thought of as very expendable people.

I keep telling myself that, ÂItÂs only a stupid haunted house and festival why take it so seriously?Â but then I remember that they ask us to stand without sitting for four to six hours and scream in certain scenes for that duration. We give up our weekends our weeknights, and very often our health.

Due to this I have thought of possibly writing a short story about souls trapped in haunted carnival house with no hopes of being released.

Scary as it all sounds I have met some wonderful people and have become wonderful friends with a few. There are perks to working there, itÂs already one of he biggest Halloween festivals in the eastern seaboard and we do have fun. There is only about two weeks left and then we close so I will battle on, sing my heart out and try to scare as many visitors as I possibly can by being Ms.Lovett from Sweeny Todd, in a creepy kitchen from hell that is in fact painted to oddly look like that of a TGI Fridays bar counter.

These are the movies I'm waiting for
[link]
My Cell Phone Art [link]
Where I Work at Fright Farm
[link]
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]]> =Filmchild Dead...Tired That Is http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/21070009/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/21070009/ Sun, 19 Oct 2008 19:42:19 PDT IÂve always loved this time of year as it means the beginning all of the holidays a time of family and harvest and piece and prosperity. The times almost seems to gallop to the end wanting it to snow so that everything can rest.

The city I live in is an old one with stores tucked away at odd places and basement restaurants. Everything is old and the buildings are never refurbished until they are considered unsafe which means that there are so many places that have such an incredible character to them.
Meanwhile the trees change and we grumble about the weather being cold and I have to dig out my sweaters again. I love scarves especially red ones, and glory the chance to wear them again.

What with the weather changing itÂs hard to go to work as I have a very much outdoor job and 30 degree weather is not fun when concerning yourself with singing and whatnot.

And then my classes seem to know I'm tired so my professors give me more work as punishment. How dare stay up until 4 in the morning to work for a lousy paycheck? The nerve of me really.

For some reason no one told me I would be educated to within an inch of my life in the theatre and I feel as if I should object some how.
And with that in mind I laugh as even though I shy away from theatre having grown to love filmmaking more, some higher power (be it fate or otherwise) keeps shoving me back toward the stage.
So with that in mind I sadly go to study for two exams one for Modern and Contemporary Theatre and Theatre History both of which I am not looking forward to.

Well rats.

These are the movies I'm waiting for
[link]
My Cell Phone Art [link]
Where I Work at Fright Farm
[link]
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]]> =Filmchild Rock and Expensive Lighting http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/20859524/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/20859524/ Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:24:52 PDT It was a surreal experience as for one I had never been to a rock concert before and now like a junkie IÂm hooked. I laughed out loud to hear the songs IÂve played over and over on my itunes being song by the people that wrote them

ItÂs funny how surprised I was to know that such big bands come out to WVU but they doÂin droves and WVU is one of the schools so many big names want to hit in their small campus tours.

But funny enough I was just as excited about the lighting as I was about the band, turns out they were sporting VAR lights which are about 8,000 dollars a piece, very expensive but worth every penny. A VAR is a type of moving light able to position itself set itself to any color with a chemical reaction to glass templates and are able tell the DMX (computer) when itÂs lamp (theater term for light bulb) burns out or if the wiring on the cable is off.
The band was sporting 13 VARs across their lighting grid; I could just see the dollar signs. Then funnily enough I helped to lower our departments two VARs from our small theatre to the huge opera concert house as Sleepy Hollow will be put on there and the two VARs were needed.

I donÂt think anyone knows what fear it until you tie a tope on the end of a 90 pound lighting fixture that the price of it could feed you for almost a year if not more and then lower it with a group of techs from an 18ft grid to the ground.
Nothing got broken as we are more professional then that but still itÂs beyond scary.

IÂll feel better when they get hung on the ClayÂs lighting grid and no longer live (stored) in the workshop.
Meanwhile I am very much in love with the band, their music never ceases to make me happy and lift me up, and when heard live is pure energy, It makes me wish I could send my songs to a band and have them play them.
After all Nickelback said it best, we all wanna be rock stars.

These are the movies I'm waiting for
[link]
My Cell Phone Art [link]
Where I Work at Fright Farm
[link]
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]]> =Filmchild To the Balance http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/20763915/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/20763915/ Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:09:18 PDT The thought intrigued me as so often we have come to worry about what others think as I myself and the worst person for this trait.
WouldnÂt it be something to live in a world where we would never have to worry is anything was taken into offense, all religions all thoughts and opinions are simply whole in the mixing pot that would be humanity.

I recently did this monologue called A World With Out End, where a young woman lost her mother and try as she might she was trying to deal with the issues that followed. For me it was a difficult process, as for one, I hadnÂt done a monologue in so long I doubted I was able to do it anymore.
I called my mother up and nearly cried on the phone wondering how I was going to get through this shadow. ÂNo actorÂ I kept calling myself, and a person could love art but not be an artist.
Finally it came to me, in the epiphany that had the attitude of no longer caring what the outcome was I simply worked myself into it with the careless attitude of someone who has lost something dear to them.
And I had.
Although my mother is still living my father passed away from brain cancer when I was fifteen. It angered me that is happened as it seemed like it could have been prevented and itÂs something that hurts me know when I think about it. He knew he was sick but instead of going in for the treatment he spent more time with me and my brother and mother.
We could have all the time if onlyÂ
So I put that into my expressions the anger the guilt, and it came out being something I donÂt know if I was proud of as a director thinks he is lord of this magical universe and you are simply a consideration to be let into it or not.
I have no idea how I did in his eyes, but one of his students came to me.
I was emotionally spent, scared and exhilarated when he came and took my hand look into my eyes and told me how wonderful I did.
When he left I laughed, I laughed until I almost cried with joy. IÂd never had this feeling before. Then in the midst of it all I wondered why it meant so much to me what others thought?
It killed by buzz slightly as I started to analyze myself and hoped to find a balance in it all.

A balance. IsnÂt it funny how hard it is to find? And in the book IÂm writing itÂs a major theme one that I am intrigued with. Still, in life it seems like itÂs all what itÂs supposed to be about. In my small corner of the world I look out my window and smile hoping to change my little part of it, hoping to matter. But the balance is finding that you matter to the right people and letting all other things fall away.
I know that IÂll be the first in line to buy a copy of my friendÂs book when she decides to write it. Her wit and wisdom are so wonderful, an old soul, one that like myself will find a balance and find bravery in it.

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]]> =Filmchild And Yet I Didn't See it Coming http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/20643324/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/20643324/ Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:51:49 PDT I seem to know who is calling me (even though I have caller ID) before I pick up the phone, and my mom says I take peopleÂs words out of their mouths, so what IÂm thinking is I might not be so psychic as somehow I knew that the time was due to hurt myself but I didnÂt know how.

As it turns out I was not paying attention talking to a person about something on the lighting grid. We were striking (taking down) the lighting for a production that ended and were pulling up the cords and fixtures from the grid.
Like an idiot I feel over one of the lose cords and fell into a light housing bar, which is basically a long bar that stretches across where lights live (hang for storage when not in use)
Thank god I didnÂt fall off the grid but I did rip my arm open on the metal. It didnÂt hurt and I guess the real surprise was all the blood really it ruined my shirt which I was really mad about, IÂll never be able to get the stains out.
What was funny however was how everyone seemed to just look at me with the expression like, ÂWell I hope she doesnÂt bleed on the stage below that would be another mess to clean up.Â
For a morbid moment I was fascinated by the blood as if to say, Â Oh wow that came out of meÂ a friend in the class told me it was a form of shock, and in response I giggled. I am completely mortified. I donÂt know why I do it when I see my own blood.

Like an idiot I didnÂt want to see a doctor as I simply
couldnÂt afford it, and I was in EMT training long enough to see a simple vein nick. I was not going to pay 70 dollars that someone else to tell me that to treat it wrap it and then charge me a bundle.
On the bright side even with the arm I managed to get into the graphics lab of my school and work on a tablet and do some hand rendering. I was kinda proud of myself.

I am fine and well ( though now my arm hurts) it was really no big deal like a finger an arm bleeds pretty dramatically.
In the end however I think this proves my argument with my mother in proof that I am not psychic in the least since of the word because if I were theatre would not be such a contact sport.

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]]> =Filmchild Bloody Mary http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/20480572/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/20480572/ Sat, 13 Sep 2008 22:58:50 PDT Vampires yes.
So IÂll be doing that for the run which is the month and next and IÂll be hoping I wont be giving myself a heart attack as I am not one for horror films or the like and scaring me is something no one wants to see. I scream like a girl (even though I am one itÂs sad to admit) and sometimes even go into a fit of nervous giggles, which for me is simply humiliating. No one giggles where they're scared but me.
They call me ÂBloody MaryÂ now.
*shakes head*
No really itÂs all in good fun and it pays decent. I just pity the poor souls who out this season as they are going to get their moneyÂs worth.

Something else wonderful is that I have finally forced myself work on a book that I have wanted to write for a while but would have had to do a lot of historical research and whatnot.
IÂm very happy about it, not to mention that as soon as I get the partial manuscript it will go out to some editors I know who have shown interest in it.
Published?
No yet I wouldnÂt be bold enough to say when a release date is since I am a full time student and I write on my down time ( Ha!) but I commit to writing a least one chapter a night.
ItÂs about vampires, conspiracies, love, time travel, and keeping the balance between what is right was is easy, and what is worth giving up everything.
It sounds so trite to me explaining it but something about it makes me continue to write, almost as if the story is being told to me by the characters and I am simply writing it down.
IÂve really wanted an experience like that with my writing however some characters have become more prominent then others, and some simply demand the stage.

All of which is very disconcerting.

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]]> =Filmchild Speed of Sound http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/20399367/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/20399367/ Mon, 08 Sep 2008 21:35:00 PDT The surroundings in which is the creative arts center are something like a Hogwarts for the fine arts. Everywhere you go someone is someone drawing, designing something, rehearsing a scene, making music, dancing, and of course fixing things as we do all of our own theatre technical repairs on-campus.
Just today I drove through the parking lot not realizing I was in an art students ÂlightÂ *rolls eyes*
They call us ÂCAC RatsÂ ( Creative Arts Center) and IÂm sure how I feel about being called a rat , a mouse maybe.
Hmpft
But this fun is not without itÂs hazards only last week I burnt my upper arm so badly on a ERS (type of stage light) which gets VERY hot in a short amount of time, that I didnÂt feel it until I hung the fixture and focused it.
ÂHmmm..Â I thought, ÂWhy is there a small hole in my arm?Â
I donÂt feel it and unless I bang it on something it doesnÂt hurt. ItÂs a small 2nd to 3rd degree burn but still nothing to worry about as they happen a lot when working on any lighting grids.
But there you areÂI the ongoing theatre klutz.
*rolls eyes again*
I have also been very inspired as of late, and whatÂs worse is that itÂs almost been a physical pain that I feel I could run a mile or two just to get rid of it.
IÂm not sure what to blame it on yet it might actually be my conscience telling me to get my little ass in gear and start that book, work on that project extÂ
Or it may be something else.
WhatÂs funny though is that I almost feel cartoonish as I feel I almost might have to take a huge mallet over my head to get myself to sleep at night.
Huh!
I am such a freak.
Ah well at least IÂm something.

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]]> =Filmchild School and a Bear of a Time http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/20114823/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/20114823/ Sat, 23 Aug 2008 14:25:08 PDT So for my one real grievance of the day here is goes.

For the hundredth thousandth timeÂ I know I am NOT completely brilliant photo-manipulater so if you simply donÂt have anything nice to say about them then donÂt comment at all. If anyone has a problem with it I am one in a billion people on DA so go pick on someone else. Unless I ask for it I donÂt want or need your critique. IÂm a nice person ask anyone around here but enough is enough. My ÂartÂ is hardly looked at or appreciated so please donÂt fill my pages up with negative comments on top of it. I donÂt want to as I really love the DA but IÂm getting to the point of leaving as itÂs hard to do what I do and call it proper art and get berated by people who do have the means and the talent to make better work then I.

IÂm now at WVU and IÂm not sure how I like it yet. My apartment mates are a little less then frigid and I feel more then ever alone. They prefer no noise, no music, no laughing, no color in the living room, no real cooked meals, no friendships, no sharingÂoh and I didnÂt mention basically no me.
I really feel hated and itÂs only the first week. IÂm just hoping to just hide in my room (which has some of the only color in the apartment) when I can. Meanwhile IÂll try to get over the fact that I accidentally missed the auditions for Sleepy Hollow the one production I really wanted to be in the whole semester but IÂll get over it as I usually do.
Overall I get over al lot of things after I let them go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recently outside of the theatre world I witnessed something awful. To start out with I live in a region that is mountainous so we have a lot of wildlife including black bears. Sadly however someone never gave them the memo that we humans were moving into their home. So, basically what it comes down to is bears being where they shouldnÂt.
Yesterday my mom and I were driving out of town when I noticed something big and black lumbering across the highway. At first I thought it was a big dog but then I realized it was in fact a bear and it had two cubs behind it.
Great.
Mother bears are real witches when it comes to their cubs and downright nasty to come across in a residential area. So I pulled over and called the police and the DNR (Department of Natural Resources) and reported it. Not ten minutes later she ran out into the road again and got hit by someone pretty stupid.
Not sure how the bear was as she went off into the woods again but she left her two cubs up in a nearby tree where stupid tourists were taking pictures. The DNR asked them to leave. It was just a mess and it happens all the time which is why so many people donÂt care.

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]]> =Filmchild And So... http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/19381448/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/19381448/ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 22:32:19 PDT Summer comes to a close, but I still remember your strawberry kiss.

God things have gone by so fast, it only seems like I was trying not to trip over a robe and holding my associates diploma. Now it seems I am going to into foreign ground in a big world, a huge college with a huge reputation and I can only hope that I wonÂt lose myself in it.
I think I have become a little braver all in all. I choose to climb higher work harder, jump off that cliff, be a tad wilder.
ItÂs a great feeling to be able to hold on and just wait for the ride.

I was unexpectedly given a subscription which has never been offered to me before by anyone, talk about feeling loved, I almost feel like one of those people whose art everyone likes and would donate a sub to keep them on the DA.
Ah donÂt worry now I wonÂt get a big headÂ.
Still, thank you (you know who you are) you made me feel like Christmas.
All my love.

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]]> =Filmchild Poem http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/19295584/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/19295584/ Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:01:24 PDT
I saw you young and smiling and I raced into your arms, I called you the name I was afraid to say and I cried the love I was frightened to give.
I had dreamt that all I treasured was taken away and I was left alone with wondering.
Still, where did you go, do you see me sometimes, do you know me then?

One day was all I had if I promised to let you go, one day was worth the pain and one day was one lifetime. Still it felt as if it was gone before it started and you started to slip away.
But you made me promise to let you go.
Hold me forever IÂm eternally your childÂbut still you made me promise to let you go.
A part of my heart is missing but I promised to let it go.
I love you unknown and wonderful; please donÂt make me let you go.

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]]> =Filmchild Moving Stock Here http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/18649855/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/18649855/ Fri, 04 Jul 2008 21:13:44 PDT So it has come down to simply come down to having stock images available on my main account which is less to worry about and plus I can use my own stock and not feel guilty about it. ( I also get more page views here) So all in all I will slowly be transferring all my stock that have contributed to the account to this one.
I will be working on this account with my regular work and updating my club.
All I ask is that if anyone who uses my stock credits me, pure and simple.

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]]> =Filmchild Wizard Wayhem http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/18413939/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/18413939/ Tue, 20 May 2008 11:40:34 PDT
My Dark Gallery
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I have always wanted to feel as if I were in a Hogwarts-like setting, even if I could just wear the clothes. Funnily enough graduation felt very much like the experience what with the long black robes and the professors wearing their black robes to the floor and velvet French hats it very much felt that for a moment we were all in wizard school.
It would figure though that the school would give me an extra long robe that I almost disappeared into. I almost stumbled when I was required to stand for any reason. Still it covered the boots that I wore for my part as Katerina in Taming of the Shrew that looked suspiciously Victorian harlequin, which I wore in desperation for any black shoes/ Needless to say that my shoe of choice is and always will be Chuck TaylorÂs which are comfortable enough to let me do what I need to.
Still I felt like a wizard with a billowing black robe and a funny little hat. It almost makes me want to go to Oxford as that is the uniform.

7 Deadly Sins

This is what I have so far , looking at them side by side IÂm not happy with gluttony, but oh well..

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]]> =Filmchild Hear Me Roar http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/18261909/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/18261909/ Sat, 10 May 2008 18:30:28 PDT
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Around most campuses they call it Âhell weekÂ as it can mean some of the worst days of your life. ItÂs the week final exams, in which itÂs make it or break it, meaning that one bad final and you donÂt graduate with your Associates.
But itÂs finally over I can say that I did, I made it with my teeth intact (had having the uncontrollable urge to want to band my dark blonde head on the walls on the library).
Still, this means that I am out of there and one of the only theatre majors in one of the smallest colleges in the state has left the building.
So where to? Most likely WVU a huge school with a reputation of being one of the biggest partying scenes in the country, of which I most likely will not take part in as I am more of a Renaissance fair girl rather then college partier.
Still IÂm a little scared, as I will thrusted into a huge world of semi-professional theatre. But itÂs a brand new start and I will start anew as a new Lauren a better Lauren.

IÂm a college graduateÂhear me roar.

My ID Request Project

IÂm doing an Id request project and here is some of the ones I have already done

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]]> =Filmchild Clean Journal *sighs* http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/18050680/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/18050680/ Sun, 27 Apr 2008 08:17:39 PDT
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I have to admit that even though I love beauty and journal feautres therein, sometimes it can be too much to handle.
Too straining on the eye.

This is much better I think for right now.

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]]> =Filmchild Flower Feature http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/17754228/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/17754228/ Sat, 19 Apr 2008 19:31:18 PDT
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Flower Feature

I said earlier that it would be my birthday on the 24th and that I was unable to go to the D.C. botanical gardens as planed, and now it feels as if I have gotten a huge and never ending bouquet. I only wish I could smell them.
I have been working on a series based on the 7 Deadly sins which I thought was a concept that seemed original but in fact had been done by many other artists.

I have been asked by the head of the art department to submit some of my work to the student show this month. I could not believe it as digital art work is not the sort of media that is typical of the show which composes of pottery, photography, sculpture, painting, ( and now) photo-manipulation digital art.
I will already have some of my pottery there as well as a rather large painting by myself and my partner in crime *fromthesea
So overall I am grateful, for the wonderful submissions that bombard my messages and the great birthday wishes from everyone. It cheered me up considerably and I am indebted.
Oh a smaller note I recently added to my household one more cat. He is a fluffy black kitten which makes my black cats add up to 3 now. If no one thought I was a witch before they will now. Not to worry, IÂm a good witch.

What did I decide to name him?
D.C

Thanks so much to all the participating artists!

=Filmchild Vampires and Ghouls http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/17193737/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/17193737/ Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:54:57 PDT
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PirateQueen-Stock 's Vampire Contest

Vampire Contest
There are many wonderful works of fiction and even art in world of vampires. I once saw an incredible oil painting called ÂVampireÂ in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. It was breathtaking and I was transfixed by it.
There is this wonderful stock artist who had one time had some incredible stock to be able to use of use to the DA public, but due to people misusing it she now only makes it available for those interested in participating in her competitions. Her mother is a wonderful gothic author of vampire stories and the artist herself poses for the covers from time to time.
ItÂs really a joy to be able to work with such wonderful work so I thought I at the very least provide some info on my journal. If you click above to Vampire Contest it will turn into the link.
I can honestly say that I am ÂthirstyÂ for more.

How a Stake Through the Heart Supposedly Started

There is a gruesome legend concerning stakes through hearts. According to this legend there was this farmer whose son he treated abusively. One night after a very brutal beating he accidently killed the boy. The farmer said that the boy had fallen from something and he was buried on the outskirts of the farm. After which the farmer claimed he kept seeing the boy look at him though the windows of the house, and kept hearing him run his fingernails down the wooden front door.
When the man told some of the other villagers about the incidents they suspected that the boy might be rising from the grave. Thus, they dug up the grave to see if the boy was truly there, and he was. The farmer however was not satisfied and was convinced that he was being haunted by his dead son. Then, in order to force his son to stay in his grave, the farmer took a large wooden fence post and drove it through the dead boyÂs heart pinning him to the ground.
They reburied the grave and the farmer claimed he never saw the boy again.

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]]> =Filmchild The Phenomena Phenomenon http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/17096566/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/17096566/ Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:02:02 PST
Yet however it seems as if fate likes to pull my pigtails and trip me up whenever it gets the chance and here I am coughing up a lung or two.
It all started when a friend of mine who I am crass enough to blame

decided we should take a morbid trek though one of our small townÂs graveyards.
What a wonderful idea, but I should say however that the place on the whole was rather quite and down right dead to be honest.
But no really it was for our stock account as when it rains there is a wonderful mist that comes up from the warm ground and everything as an eerie hue. This phenomenon is wonderful for taking pictures and catching your death.
I have an inhaler medication and I am drinking from a cough syrup bottle, which makes me look something like an odd pharmaceutical pirate drinking from a rum bottle.
Yo ho and a bottle ofÂ.

Complaining however in my opinion is something like rocking in a rocking chair, your doing something but getting absolutely no where.

So while I sit angrily in my house watching the snowflakes fall happily down, I give each one a loathing look as I simply hate snow in abundances.

If I could draw better I would draw a cartoon of a rather scraggly girl with bed-frizzed hair sitting on her couch with her arms crossed looking angry at the world.

All in fun, however phenomena in itÂs horridness can do that to a person I have found.

My Club - *MimzyandTweaks
My Stock Account - *mirrorimagestock ]]> =Filmchild Cities http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/16931624/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/16931624/ Sun, 17 Feb 2008 15:09:06 PST I must say that when I see a submission like these I can't get enough of them but seem to stare at them for hours. Some are so detailed you can barley take it all in.

Here are some works I thought were outstanding in this field.

*passes out from trying to find the right deviations*

*wipes herself off from the floor*

My Club - *MimzyandTweaks
My Stock Account - *mirrorimagestock ]]> =Filmchild Visions of Romance http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/16882992/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/16882992/ Thu, 14 Feb 2008 14:21:04 PST

Wonderful work to these artists.

My Club - *MimzyandTweaks
My Stock Account - *mirrorimagestock ]]> =Filmchild My Two Wishes Long Ago http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/16852589/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/16852589/ Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:21:57 PST
ItÂs surreal that middle school kids now live in a world where they face nothing like the one I lived in for a short time, to hear the word terrorism more then they hear IÂm sorry from their world leaders.

It feels as if the world froze for a moment and we are all waiting for it to begin again. There is a statue in the city of New York called the Statue of Liberty that has stood for everything my country was supposed to mean to the world.

It stated on it to give her the worldÂs poor and hungry and tired, but now all it seems to say is Âno vacancyÂ or even Âhelp meÂ.
So many people are losing their homes now because they canÂt pay their mortgages so their homes are being foreclosed. Families are literally being forced onto the streets with no place to go.

Our illustrious leader however has given these poor people a 30 day timeline to get their payments in order, I think however that if they didnÂt have it 30 days ago they wonÂt have it now, not with the wages we are being paid on the whole.
ItÂs freighting, where is the help we need and in what ways will it come? I have found that we feel as if we do not have a voice and therein donÂt feel as if we change anything.
ItÂs times like these that I seem to pull myself up from whatever sorrow and see what I do not have to face.

I recently heard that you have to have your Âthird placeÂ. Your two main places in your life are your home and work, for myself my tow main places are college and my home.
What is my third place?
Here.
Or possibly itÂs somewhere in me that I donÂt have to see the hurt, cold, and hunger that so many face today. I help when I can, but I think there is so much the human soul can take.

I once stood on a boat in the New York City harbor and watched the incredible city known for its grandeur float away from me.
I had two pennies that day. I took one in my hand, weighed it in my hand and then through it over into the harbor waters.
Then I stood on the balcony of the Statue of Liberty with a wonderful friend. We talked about what the world become. We had no idea what the cityÂs skyline would become without itÂs trademark towers.
I through a penny there too.
I made two wishes that day, one in hopes that I would make it to where I wanted to go, and the second that I would always find happiness.
I wish I wished for the lives on those on Sept 11th, or for peace, and I wish I wished for love to be universal.
Instead I stood there my hair escaping from its tie blowing around my face, and I was looking at the city as everything I ever wanted to experience.
Today I send out a thought and a hope that people who donÂt know of our countryÂs problems will know soon, that as a even as self-proclaimed great country we are still so small in many ways.
But most of all I canÂt imagine sitting alone without a home when really my country has taken it from me.
In short I send this out into the void feeling blessed and a little sad, hoping we see a better day tomorrow.

My Club - *MimzyandTweaks
My Stock Account - *mirrorimagestock ]]> =Filmchild Minor http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/16777118/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/16777118/ Thu, 07 Feb 2008 21:10:26 PST For a huge instance I have found this certain image here on deviant that I canÂt get enough of.

I have it now on my desktop and all I can is look at it like I do with all art work and that is with look at every little minute detail as detail is something I happen to have embedded in my soul.
I have looked at it a hundred times or more and still I look closer and find something new. It might be my imagination but I can almost see people within the vastness of the whole thing.
So in the end is everyone born with this incredible skill or was there a special class on how to do this and I missed out horribly?
I made a hard decision today that as I graduate with my associateÂs degree this spring I realize that I must find something that I want to do while putting myself through film school.
It came down to graphic art I think, so in the end I think that if my minor is going to be something I do for a hobby I think I should get better at it.
So I think IÂm going to take a deep breath and breathe as this whole graduation thing makes me nervous and I donÂt want to talk about it.
Instead I can only imagine what incredible worlds I could create like this if only I new how.
Meanwhile IÂll do a ritualistic dance around my house to the muse-gods and hope that I will be enlightened with the answer.

My Club - *MimzyandTweaks
My Stock Account - *mirrorimagestock ]]> =Filmchild Out of My System http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/16723769/ http://Filmchild.deviantart.com/journal/16723769/ Mon, 04 Feb 2008 13:40:07 PST
Still sometimes I dip my hand into that creative jar and plunk away on the keys when I have found something interesting I want to get out of my system.
[link]

My Club - *MimzyandTweaks
My Stock Account - *mirrorimagestock ]]> =Filmchild