http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:FlagrantContempt&section=today deviantART RSS for by:FlagrantContempt en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 04 Dec 2009 09:57:28 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/13707939/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/13707939/ Thu, 12 Jul 2007 12:28:57 PDT

+ General Life
So recently, I've been going to school and working a lot. While I was in Interactive Media at Diamond Oaks Vocational School, I co-oped at Advert Signs, a small sign shop close to where I lived. I'm still there, but their main graphic designer, after embezzling a couple grand, left. So Now I have a lot of responsibility to keep up with the work, so that my bosses and I still have a job. Right after high school I attended a University of Cincinnati satellite school for Multi Media. It turned out to be a joke, won a couple of awards--but made little to no personal progress. So I ended up switching schools (more on this later), and now I go to The Art Institute of Ohio--Cincinnati. It's more of what I wanted, and I've even learned a little. Good times.


+ Personal
On an emotional level, I'm moderately swell, if not.. somewhat shaky. I've been dating Jarrod (again) for the past four months. Which is awesome. I'm pretty much still friends with all of the people that mattered the most years ago, some of which live far away now. Of course most of the time I'm frantic or panicking about life and whats going to happen next. But that's to be expected, Know.

Well, I think that's good enough. Have fun, my deviant friends.

]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/9236842/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/9236842/ Fri, 30 Jun 2006 22:04:54 PDT ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/9236841/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/9236841/ Fri, 30 Jun 2006 22:04:54 PDT ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/5473080/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/5473080/ Thu, 26 May 2005 23:11:49 PDT
Fuck my stupid emmotions.

Fuck you people who dont care...
AND Fuck you who do.




GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ! ! ! :T ]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/4527191/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/4527191/ Tue, 08 Feb 2005 07:15:35 PST I miss you, but it's too hard to see you.


...that one night--I wish you were serious. ]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/3078717/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/3078717/ Sun, 08 Aug 2004 23:41:31 PDT
And another thing. There is something I want... probablly more than I could ever describe. And I could probably have it..... but I am to prideful to take it. It kills me not to have it. And it kills me that I suck so ad, and wont just take the risk of being hurt--just to satisfy a deamon inside of myself. I am... weak.... and I am lost in my own deranged thoughts.


But, all and all, I guess though the crying myself to sleep everynight, I am actually reaitivly happy.


Who knows what tommarow brings? ]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/2264703/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/2264703/ Tue, 20 Apr 2004 23:38:49 PDT

Crackheads ROCK! ]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1876198/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1876198/ Fri, 20 Feb 2004 05:31:20 PST
I am trying to get in for Cosmotology... because that is what gay peiople do... or something, lol no. But I am. My dad thinks that going to Diamond is not cool and hates it with a deep seated passion. So I am all fighting with him and he is being a mean head, and hopefully I can get custy transfered to my mom realativly soon.

But that isnt going to make it better, just easier to bare through the day. I dont know. I have to go.

]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1778529/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1778529/ Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:14:10 PST + A lack Luster Appel

I guess over my many years of living I accumulated a few friends. At times I doubt them, at time I adore them, and I even have my time where I despise them. All of them have their corks, all have their issues, but I love them, for all of it.

Maybe it is my lack luster that attracts them. With so little talent, and so little charisma, maybe they feel like they can easily tower above me. Which -- they can. All of them are so much greater than me. They all have so much oppertunity. So much -- talent. I have none of that. Why would people that have a life waiting for them in 5-10 years hang around me--a worthless creep? Who knows, but them.


+ Unactive Activist

Just because that is the way it is, me and my friend Kattie (mispelled) are very vocal with our activism. We want to go to demos, we want to do other stuff, we want to tell the world how we feel.

But both of us are procrastinators at the thenth degree. For a month or two we have planed to make an animal rights activism group. Fight P&G, make a Zine, go to protest Bush in D.C., and other such antics.

But we never do anything. Is that because there is nothing to do right now? Or because we are indeed lazy. Who knows. Right now is a wierd time. Maybe someone can point me in the direction of sanity, or at least clear thinking.

+ Sanity and Clear Thinking

How long has it been scince I have actually been able to think about what I want to think about -- not what my mind goes to. I sit up alone at night, crying, and thinking back on my life. I think about my present. And I think about my future. I see nothing. In all threee states of life.

I see a bleack existence full of meaningless talk, meaningless action, and pointless wanderings. Should I just forget about life and live day-to-day, should I look at the big picture and find direction.

I dont know. I've been searching for a long time. A very long time. I can remember a breif time of happiness a few months ago, that is really all that I can think of when reminicing the happy times. Is it so hard to have a good life -- or am I just missing something.

+ Jarrod.

You knew I would have to talk about him.

He was perfect. After years of waiting, years of hating myself for being gay, years of hating society for not accepting my choice, years of horrible hell, I found someone who not only accepted me, but for all my states and purposes loved me.

I guess he didnt really love me. We said it a few time. I ment it. I really did. I still love him. But I dont know if he did. I guess if he loved me he would have stayed with me, so I guess our relashonship was doomed, but still, I loved him.

And now, now he hates me. After a phone conversation with him, where he got mad..............











...............mom is here to pick me up, bbl to rewrite this!!!!!

]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1702738/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1702738/ Sun, 18 Jan 2004 19:04:24 PST
Mood: Crap
Listening to: AFI - God Called in Sick Today

Emo Kid


Well, for some people it may be as simple as waking up. Or for some, as complexed as being happy.

It was onced argued to me, through my father, that happiness is a state of mind in which I could control. Such as, if I was sad, presumably, I could say, " No, I'm happy." And the world would stop spinning and I would be a happy person again...

This doesnt make too much scence to me. How can one have complete control of ones emmotions? I belive that part of them, yes, can be... but to fully have control overself would make you some kind of A) Emmotionless android -or- B) God[ess].

Perhapes what he ment was, "You can act happy, thus I will think you are, and in turn I wont have to deal with you anymore." Who knows?



W-A-R: what is it good for?

In some contemperary societies war is veiwed as a tool to expand profit. In others, it is as simple as a form of control over the people. In yet other you have a more metasymbolic suto murder of hunderds. Who knows what it really useful for?

But one thing that I do know, is that if I am going to support the killing, then I better have some supporting evidence. And the simple fact is, is that I have never seen one ounce of creditable evidence for our current state of war.

Another thing--that just came out recently--is the Bush adminastrations plans for Operation Iraci Freedom before 9/11. I think that it really should have been realized by more people earlier. And I also think that it is sick and wrong to manipulate the American people into agreeing with you for revenge or money, or just because your a blood-thirsty killer.

On a note of saddness, I do belive that there was enough evidence to kill, or imprision Mr. Sadom. But I personally know a snipper who took out several leaders in Panama, in a classified operation that our American goverment still deny doing. There is no doubt in my mind that we have the resources to do covert ops and assinate world leaders.


.... more to come, bored for now.


Peace~

~and unity. ]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1656908/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1656908/ Sat, 10 Jan 2004 06:51:58 PST
Mood: Crap
Listening to: I'm Blue ( I will bleed, I will die. )

Yeah, I'd like everyone to know. Life is pointless, but that doesnt give death point, at least I dont think so.

Yesterday was my week without Jarrod anniversary. To make myself feel better I was hanging with Zak, and his ex, at the Dubliner, so I could see Roger Drawdy & the Firestarters, just to get my mind off things. But me and my dad got into a fight on the way.

So that night I had one of the hardest times, just to keep myself from thinking about suicide. It was horrible. Just laying there in my bed for 2 hours thinking about how my life sucks. Not saying people dont have it worse, I just cant stand this one I have now.

So I've desided that I am no longer going to try and make it better. Whats the point? Before I tried, at least I was moderatly sad, now I am destroyed. Fuck it. There is no point. Oh well.

I need to upload something.... shert.

]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1629711/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1629711/ Sun, 04 Jan 2004 17:35:56 PST
Wow. A lot has happened in the past week or so. Mostly bad... okay all bad. On top of normal stressful situations, mom being depresses, dad hateing me, sister in 3rd world some country passing out Bibles n' shit, Jarrod dumped me, 2 days ago I guss it was.

It isnt really something I can be mad about, he has lagitimite reasons, but that doent make the long nights of puking until I cant think str8 any easier. Oh well, I'll miss him, but it wouldnt have worked out, he is way way too good for me anyway.

Then there was last night. It was so cool. I was at the Buzz, and went with this guy to get Kassi a pack of smokes.... and we had to pass these guys. They asked us if we knew where any clubs around. So the guy starts telling him where one is, but is stoped by a fist in his face. So my friend takes off running back to the Buzz to get the cops called and stuff. Well, That left me with one one of the four black guys chasing me down -- punching me in the back of the head a few times -- and conering me. So I got on the ground gave him all my stuff, wimmpers like a baby, "Dont hurt me, please, just take all of it, just take it." that kind of stuff. And he punches me in my face, then ask me where my money is at and I said I didnt have any. He was like "Shit man" and started back to the get away car, and I stoped him, yes, I stoped him, saying, "Wait no, I have a few bucks." so he takes my wallet, my cell and maybe my glasses, cause they look like sunglasses. But yeah, over all it will probably be over $200 to replace, but you know, oh well. The only thing that really pisses me off is he messed my hair up.


I could go on and on, list the people who are dieing in my family ( a lot) and stuff, but whats the point. I'll stop rambling now.

]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1551235/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1551235/ Thu, 18 Dec 2003 08:00:09 PST ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1542235/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1542235/ Tue, 16 Dec 2003 08:04:31 PST ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1445080/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1445080/ Mon, 24 Nov 2003 10:46:34 PST
Then I seen Jarrod that night -- I could barely stand to look at him without crying, and I dont want to upset him, so I cant just break down in front of him, and and ugh. I dont know, But this is muchos suckios.


Actually one of most comforting things in the past week or so has been my own self relization of what people meand to me, even if I am not important to them. Which was a happy thouyght till I just wrote it out and relized how pathetic I am.... shit, I am going to go to my room, lay =in bed, and of course, cry.

Peace.
]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1403015/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1403015/ Sat, 15 Nov 2003 01:45:36 PST
No. What if death is either a)more pointless than living, or b) just stupid. I mean I dont know what happens... and neither do you... no matter how much you might think you do. .. ...


... I dont know... lets kill me and I'll send you a postcard and tell you how it goes. ]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1380863/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1380863/ Mon, 10 Nov 2003 07:49:04 PST

Oh well.

I got into a fight. About something stupid. And my dad got upset. And he picked me up, drug me to another room, picked me up, and threw me on the couch. I wasnt hurt. It just showed how he could snap -- lose control. And that is bad. So I am not liveing with him anymore. Now I am living with my mom. She is nearly poor. Her house is almost always dirty. She never buys food. She is on the verge of complete drunkeness. I am doing some bad stuff. I cant think straight... I cant even see straight if I am not focusing on a fixed object. I even shake when I am all alone at night... shake... and cry... ... hmm... I wonder if that is bad... or just a healthy way of copeing... I dont know... I think I will shut the fuck up now.

Peace. ]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1350675/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1350675/ Sun, 02 Nov 2003 15:50:07 PST
Fuck... oh well... bye. ]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1317435/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1317435/ Fri, 24 Oct 2003 12:35:38 PDT

In other news, I stayed home today (friday) because I didnt think I could handle doing school. SO many people. SO many teachers. And they are all stupid. UGH. >=T oh well.

Yeah, my mom said that Jarrod obviously doesnt care what she thinks because he still sees me, even though she called him and bitched him out and said he was 'too old' for here 'baby'. Yeah he is 18, I am 16... think about it--is that too old? Please tell me if it is.... UGH

Oh well, I you all.


Peace. ]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1272011/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1272011/ Mon, 13 Oct 2003 14:02:10 PDT okay, I have to go be annoying and put likes to me on the post thing.


:: Always
~ The Managment ]]> ~FlagrantContempt http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1243075/ http://FlagrantContempt.deviantart.com/journal/1243075/ Mon, 06 Oct 2003 15:20:36 PDT


^_^ ~The Managment ]]> ~FlagrantContempt