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]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/20194990/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/20194990/ Thu, 28 Aug 2008 02:26:44 PDT
When I get up in the morning I go to work and work for eight solid hours infront of a computer, designing company logos, ads, signs, events and fuckloads of car-vinyls. I'm the sole Graphic Designer at this company, and my boss flaunts me as his new AD, which is ofcourse preposterous, but he's a nice enough guy so he can joke about all he wants. My work isn't exactly highly stimulating, and the skills I've been building within conceptualising and more finely tuned design don't get used TOO much. It's mostly procedural work, making whatever is needed, for when it's needed, and lots of the stuff is given, with a minimal need for effort from my side. The thing is when I get to work in the morning I end up finishing maybe two or three briefs a day, so it's fairly hectic, so when I get back home, I often just CRASH on my bed. This did not happen yesterday, as the first thing I did when I got back home was to do some interior restructuring. I started the laborious task of rearranging my "living quarters" (I live at home with my parents for the moment, which naturally blows), and yeah... it was more a hazzle than I ever did imagine.

I have a huge room, but I also have a HUGE bed. So big that it takes up HALF the room. Now, my bed found itself on the wrong side of the room from where I wanted it to be. And in the other corner there was a desk, some shelves a lounger with stool and a coffee table. When I started moving things around, I soon found myself locked inside an enormous puzzle game. Things had to be rearranged, cleaned out and twisted in certain angles at certain times to unlock the next item that needed to be moved and twisted to unlock the next. Technically there wasn't enough space to move around in, let alone manouver a giant king size bed from one end to another, but somehow I managed. But the mess man, oh God the MESS! I found shit in there I didn't know what was! Shit that wasn't mine. While I've been away my old room has been turned into a mausoleum of excess, and now I find myself throwing shit around, piling it on my bed as I move it around. While doing this pieces of plastic and bags constantly find themselves being stuck to my feet and keep coming back as I dispose of them to the other side of the room. There's shit overflowing EVERYWHERE. I was fairly annoyed to say the least, and uttered curses onto old Gods long forgotten. Finally the puzzle was completed, the bed resting where it should, the desk placed in it's designated corner and the shelf that belongs to it placed on top instead of on the floor as it used to. all surfaces are covered with litter and odd bits and pieces of wires, USBs, magazines, borchures, expired credit cards, bowls and glasses and small baskets with random shit in it. To make shit even more exciting there is a huge pile of shit in one corner of the room, which I haven't even moved while doing this. It's chaos, but now it's chaos with a workflow, so it's getting somewhere.

At this point I'm super tired, but I've got an overdue deadline for a freelance assignment waiting on me. No time to sleep or rest. Nope. Straight to the office, and get some shit done. I have to go out of the house and to the office of my parent's camping resort, cause such dangerous and wholly useless things as an internet connection is not something that's been invested in at their place. I start my long overdue assignment, and end up cranking out two full versions of the application I'm designing. The work takes me all evening, and I find myself free to go to bed at 2 AM.

Back to my room. I realise to my horror that I left the scene half finished. There, on my bed, my massive, massive bed, is a pile consisting of books and various other shit. I consider sleeping on the pile, but get to my senses after a short burst of sleepy desperation. I pile up the books in several hurdy-gurdy stacks on the shelf over my desk. The sight is quite impressive. There must be well over 30000 pages in that pile, and all of them have been read. I start to think what I've actually got out of all those books, but discard this potentially disheartening thought and clean up the rest that's on my bed. I now wonder how many other books I have lying about, and that I really should get hold of them and add them to the hurdy-gurdy pile. I know that there's atleast thirty books missing right now, and that those would just add to the pile's awesome. I briefly consider to get out all my CDs... ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/19140164/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/19140164/ Tue, 01 Jul 2008 04:58:42 PDT
Three years. For three years I've been fighting my way towards a degree in Graphic Design. And now it's done. Wow. Many of you probably think "wtf this dude's a Graphic Designer? Pssch, he just wasted three years cause his shit still sucks" and if you did: up yours chum. But still, I raise a good question actually. What the hell HAVE I learned through all these years? Well. It's sad, but I can easily boil all my hard earned experiences down to about ten points.

So I proudly present:

GARD HELSET'S
"THE 10 THINGS I LEARNED THROUGH MY EXCESSIVELY EXPENSIVE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE"

1. Cut the fluff. If something don't add to it, take it away. Too bad I love fluff..

2. It must make sense. The content of whatever should be relevant to the context of whatever.

3. Keep it simple. Even if it's complex.

4. Don't be clever, be honest.

5. Always address the majorities. An individual may be smart, but people are stupid.

6. Be positive, even when suicidal.

7. Never do anything until the last second.

8. The solution to any problem is more than often painfully obvious.

9. If you want anything done right, assign the right person to do it.

10. Innovation is a myth, design is dogmatic.

THE END

---

That list is as good as any portfolio.

In the end I could have skipped all of this and run by common sense. In fact, if I DID use any common sense, I'd skip college all together. I'd skip the stress, the poverty, the loans and debts, and I'd have a career by now. But what I do have now is LIFE EXPERIENCE, two weeks of stubble, a theoretical piece of paper I assume is in a nice flowy wooshy script with some gold filigree which states that I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Graphic Design. Whether I got any honors, I doubt it, but honor is for asian people anyways.

I now have stuff to look foreward to. Getting a life for instance. That thing so many people have told me repeatedly to get. Also, I look foreward to pay taxes, as I want the right to complain about people on benefits living off my hard earned tax money.

Right now I've sent off a huge box of random shit back home. Cost me £110, and yeah, ouch, pain. But whatever. The value of the box was probably like around £500 or more, so yeah, I ain't interested in paying all that shit again to make up for lost property. There's a better chance of that shit getting back home than my luggage that is going with British Airways. They have a tendency of sending my luggage to Timbuktu or shit. I dunno how they do it, but those throwers in the back handling those suitcases must sometimes have some great pillowfights the way these things are being treated. If it weren't for the weight limit I'd fill my bag with bricks.

Oh, right. I've forgotten to upload shit here on dA lately. I've made more comics, but yeah.. I sorta loose inspiration the minute I start the submission process and leave it undone. I'll have em up soon enough for you who actually care.

I'll be seeing you around.

Norway next.

KKBYEBYE

G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/17673725/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/17673725/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:41:46 PDT Iselen did it instead! Lookit! ---> [link]
She obviously wanted to get in on my fame *COUGHwhatever¬¬*, so all you guys who might or might not care, go and show her some love! n___n

Also new computer, internet's dodgy but back, school blows and life goes on thank you bye bye.

G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/17206835/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/17206835/ Thu, 06 Mar 2008 08:54:12 PST
Wick

Dick

I rhyme for the brothers on the corners.



]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/15572841/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/15572841/ Mon, 19 Nov 2007 06:56:28 PST
So, all about me again! In short I just want to get this whole college thing over and done with and get into a paid job. Really not motivated atm.. But I'll get everything done by the time I need to, as usual. Blæh.

For more happyzappy news: Wyyrd is finally getting sorta published! I sent a chance mail to a norwegian publicist, and they replied telling me they wanted to feature Wyyrd in their next issue of the "M" magazine. It's a comic magazine. So, I get two pages. That made me uber happy. ^_^ it's more than likely just a one off thing, but I don't complain. Anyways, for whoever reading this, if you happen to be in Norway, pick up a "M" mag issue #13 on December 10th and onwards.
And so. uhm.. what am I currently doing? Well.. there are two new Wyyrd stories on the horizon. One's a double strip that's been sketched and text edited, just needs ink and colour. The other one's a page. Dunno when I'll get these done, especially since the pager was supposed to be #53, and we're now at #55. xD;

I have also been working some on the Wyyrd site: [link] and now it has like.. a guestbook.. and a shop... and a vote button. How the hell people get so many votes is beyond me, but yeah, whatever. That's what I've been doing whhich is remotely of interest to anyone.

So.. that's it.

CYAZ

G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/15521253/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/15521253/ Thu, 15 Nov 2007 14:02:34 PST
's having a , CHRISTMAS COMPETITION and you can win a present! Anyways, it goes something like this (I've like made this in bold, to make it clear as fuck) :

"I have decided to have a competition! The winner will recieve this MYSTERIOUS PRESENT [picture of a MYSTERIOUS PRESENT HERE] as sent by me, through the post, to your house for your enjoyment. It is very special.
I know what's in it, you don't, which is why this will only be a very short competition for secret reasons.

Feel free to make a piece of art...writing, a picture, etc. The picture should be Christmas themed. It doesn't have to be masterpiece since the competition is only short. Entries will be judged on how awesome or funny they are.
If you can, please include my character Askrat into it. There are pictures of her in my gallery. She's the one with only one eye. She is a werewolf. I like werewolves. Please do not draw a picture of a werewolf with a santa hat on, though.
The competition will end in...say, four days, on the 19th.
Please send me a note with a link to your entry in it. [by "me" she totally means herself: [link]

Good luck!"

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT! GO! ENTER! REACH FAME! GET A PRESENT! ATLEAST TRY!

Thanks for listening! ê_ê

G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/15013549/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/15013549/ Thu, 11 Oct 2007 10:55:33 PDT WYYRD dot GARDHELSET dot COM
[link]

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/14981322/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/14981322/ Tue, 09 Oct 2007 06:27:30 PDT There are poems in grief
There are trials we must go through
Though they may shake our beliefs

But I don't know how I got here
Lost in the cynical dusk
Set adrift in the worry
That I've no one to trust"

This piece of lyric saved my life yesterday.

I don't mean this in any emo/suicidal way or anything, it's very straight-forward.
After finishing up my thing back home yesterday I started my plod back to uni. I had just uploaded a few new songs to my player, so I had a couple of fresh tracks to listen to, one of which I had on repeat. It was indeed the song from which these lyrics originated. "Damaged" by Assemblage 23. Good, tight technical drum beat, and a sorta floaty, quite monotone, but still melodious male vocal that kept being steadily delivered. Though I find the subject and poetry of the song a little on the depressive self-pitying side, it still feels true and I feel it explains my situation, so in short: a good addition to the soundtrack of my life.

So with this theme playing again and again through my head I marched onwards deep in my own thoughts, or as deep as I could go, it's not exactly the Merianer Trench (spelling? Deep undersea ravine close to Japan, anywho...). Looking one way I started to cross the street, but when I was half way across I suddenly registered this part of the lyrics. Even though I'd heard it time and time again, this was the first time I listened to it. I took two steps back to get back on the sidewalk to listen to the song and then, coming from the direction I hadn't been looking, a car zipped past me, doing 40 mph, exactly at the spot I would have been if I hadn't backtracked all of a sudden. I didn't see the car, I couldn't hear the car. It almost clipped me where I was standing, and it didn't slow down. If I'd been out there on the road, as I were a mere second before, I'd be crushed, or I'd crush the car, probably a good mix.

At that second all sorts of scenarios went through my head, most of which involved me being either dead, or maimed, or somewhere in between. From past experience(!) I could feel the hit, tumble and cripple in my head as if it really happened, and I knew that in so many alternative time lines I wouldn't have been much more than a rather large spunk stain on a sheet after this incident. So, standing there with this awesome feeling of fate intervening etc I direct my thanks to the world in general before continuing my trek to Uni. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Went to a pub with some friends in the evening, which was purdy ok, but other than that? Naaah.

Anyways, the moral of this story is: don't play music on full volume while you're out walking in traffic, it can get you killed you dumb shit.

CYAZ G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/14964745/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/14964745/ Mon, 08 Oct 2007 02:26:25 PDT
Back in the UK and back in school. First assignment is due in tomorrow, and it needs to be printed off onto A1 today. Only problem is that I managed to compile my PDF the wrong way, so now it only shows up gray on my screen. Jooooy. This means that I'll have to plug some mp3s into my ears, and walk those 30 minutes back to my house, fix this, fix this again (just to make sure), and then trek back to school for the final print off. Right now I'm first in line for printers, but in the end of the day I'll probably well.. still be here waiting, since I've got to spend the next 2 hours walking back and forth and fixing my shit. Price you have to pay for not checking before you leave the house.

I've now been here for the better part of two weeks, and we still haven't got our internet. It's all Tiscali's fault, as they were supposed to transfer our subscription to the new house on the 16th of September. My best guess is that they'll either do it on tuesday, or someday-ish, or never at all. Plumber got around on Friday though and finally fixed out shower. So yay.

Oh! And thanks to ~BatPrincess for catching my 10k pageview! Still awaiting requests..
And OH! Yeah, Wyyrd has now reached 50 strips, so thanks guys for watching! ^^

Wellllll... better get going.

CYAZ G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/14619473/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/14619473/ Thu, 13 Sep 2007 15:52:57 PDT Whatever, some good things have happened, like people visiting, weird projects etc, but it's now soon over and I'll head back to my home away from home, UK. : )

September 25th, I'll be back. ^_^

G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/13581685/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/13581685/ Mon, 02 Jul 2007 17:46:15 PDT
Catch my 10K and I'll make you whatever you want, within reason. K? '-' K.

Have fun strutting yer stuff!

Lawl

G ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/13434832/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/13434832/ Thu, 21 Jun 2007 15:27:17 PDT
G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/13261647/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/13261647/ Fri, 08 Jun 2007 06:25:18 PDT Anywaaays, to me this means a number of things. This is the last time I'll enter the competition, as I simply can't be bothered working out a new concept and it would take up too much of my time. Wyyrd will keep on going at it's usual pace, that is, a new strip/page whenever I feel like it. ^_^ And, Wyyrd won't go away from dA, so that's atleast something. : ) One thing's for sure, I'm not giving up my series just because of this, I love the characters too much for that. ^__^

On a second note. Maaaan, I've been stranded here in the UK for two weeks now! o__o My course is finished, but they're keeping us here until the exam boards.. dum-dee-dum-dee-daa <____<; So.. why haven't I been doing anything creative? I HAVE! only.. not dA creative.. I've made a sculpt, aaand some concept mecha drawings, some other concept things, work, blah blah blah... K... I'll start Wyyrd again soonish.

Have a good one!

G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/13002582/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/13002582/ Fri, 18 May 2007 15:11:56 PDT
Anyhoo. I thought maybe I'd start showing you people here exactly what changes have been made. So you can expect a few Wyyrd Remasters in the days to come. I'll probably chuck the old ones into the scraps section, but yeah, doesn't matter. I prefer keeping things in order.

G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/12872152/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/12872152/ Mon, 07 May 2007 05:33:08 PDT 'Wyyrd' has been put in the pit-stop at the moment. Nothing new has been produced, but as many as 13 of my older strips have been completely remade from scratch and updated with the new digital style. Why? The big comic strip competition, that's why. Every once and a while one of the major newspapers in Norway stage this competition, and its now been three years since the last time. Comics have become more and more popular back home, and they are now an aspect of everyday life. It's no longer considered to be a part of a sub-culture, or even low-culture, and 'everyone' wants a hand in the industry. With a first prize at an astonishing NOK 50.000 (you do the math: www.xe.com) you can imagine how many who're submitting. Mind you, Norway is a small country with 'only' 4,5 million people, but still. During this competition I suspect there will be at least 300+ submissions, and possibly 20-30 of these will be of elite quality. To be honest I severely doubt my chances, but I have to try to reach the top 10 at the very least. It's ambitious and sorta foolish, but I can't afford not to try.

However, what would happen if I by some amazing turn of events would win, or if I was 'discovered'? I would get money from making comics, which would be a dream come true, but on the other hand it would mean the end of 'Wyyrd' for the English speaking public. The strips could most likely not be on dA anymore, nor any other sites where they'd have English text. That's dumb. e__e

Anyways, let me explain how this feels using a metaphor: it's a car race, and I've been racing through traffic without seeing the competition. The car I'm driving I've designed and built myself, and I have every bit of confidence in it. I can see the finishing line in the distance, and it's smooth going.
But HO! I start to notice other racers around me, and they are speeding just as fast towards the goal. Soon we're locked in a huge field of cars, where everyone is bumper to bumper with someone else, and one could practically walk from car to car. Someone falters, and we dodge him, but are soon locked again. And the line is ever approaching. You're ahead, you're behind, ahead, behind, ahead, behind, and so it continues all the way to the finish. And you just know that what'll make you into either a winner or a loser is a single millisecond and a little bit of luck. I can see myself driving Wyyrd, pedal to the metal, with a racing helmet and sweat forming on my brow. It's been a long run, and it has had a few breakdowns, repairs and upgrades, but this is it, now or never.

Wish me luck.

G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/12255353/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/12255353/ Tue, 20 Mar 2007 07:51:35 PDT
Sorry for not being at all active. I log on at times to see whether or not I've got any messages, but I don't actually get to answer them, so sorry for that.
Wyyrd has been taking a sabbathical aswell, but I'll upload the Easter strip later this week. It's been done since November... :3

I've got such a huge number of projects lying on hold right now it's annoying.. e____e
Websites, broadcast, skins, retouches, illustrations, colourings, animations........ I'll have to find time for it all. :3

WELL THEN! BACK TO WORK! CYA! 8D

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/12018551/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/12018551/ Thu, 01 Mar 2007 19:23:09 PST The last 3 months really have zoomed by, and though not much have happened it's been eventful enough, I'm not gonna go into any detail as it's mostly boring.
I've adopted, or rather evolved a new life philosophy in this period though. It's based on some preconceptions about the universe and a little math, and some Karma. It excludes free will, and accepts fate on a large scale and the basic belief is that everything will level out on a long enough timescale. So basically everything that happens is meant to happen, cause everything is just another variable in an enormous universal equation that tries to cancel itself out. In the end it's all about balance and harmony, and well, it works for me. Don't see why, it just does. According to =Iselen it's almost like Taoism, without the gay deities and such though.

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/11310596/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/11310596/ Thu, 04 Jan 2007 07:57:01 PST

So. I've been... preoccupied. Doing this, that, etc. Y'all know how it is. I guess I could sum up everything I've done the last.. two months. Ahum. Well....

I didn't watch porn, or have any form of sex, for 30 days. Basically I was being a munk.. with a dirty mind (which is completely natural seeing as all munks are sexual deviants just waiting for the right oppurtunity.) Not a major achievement on any scale, but for me, it was hard... ...24/7 like... <____<;

While doing this I also had a whopper of a design assignment. Lotsa work put into that one, and I seemed to have LOTS of excess energy while doing it, being 100% concentrated on my subject and such.. Wonder why..... Anyways, it left me totally knackered.

And so.. Christmas! Was merry, came, and went. Much like myself. I left for the Motherland and a festive season of Dodging Dad's Wrath. I'm getting good at it. ^__^ He's not a mean fella or anything, he's just full of grump, and thus he can be a bit of a git. Ironically 'dodging him' means not spending any time infront of the computer, and actually spending alot of time with him, so this flash site thingy I'm making has been suffering. Blah. I'm not worried. I'll end up with something amazing ace in any case, cause, y'know, I'm me. 8D HAHAHAHAhaaaaa.... o_____o

Watched "Pirates" the porn. I thought it was awesome. ^__^ Bit silly and such, but I laughed my ass off at some scenes. Like in this one scene the good guy goes down on this chick while the house is burning down around them.. Talk about being engulfed in the moment. xD Afterwards he knocked her out and tied her to a tree... Oh Porn Film Logic, how Thou Mock Me!
On the subject of porn I also found a porn flick on my computer that I didn't know about. It was lying in some unsorted music, and it had been there for well over a year. o_o It involved some fat arses. It was more like a study on ripples and the behavior of liquids in bags than a porn tbh..

And then, New Years. Went to a decent parthay. I wore a black shirt, so I was suave. Had some wine. Shrugged the night away. Got hit twice by rocket debree, one time it was still burning. Lucky me.

On Sunday I'll be back home in England once more. ^__^

CYA
G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/11291122/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/11291122/ Tue, 02 Jan 2007 16:35:54 PST
]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10667716/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10667716/ Thu, 09 Nov 2006 09:43:33 PST [link]

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10649152/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10649152/ Tue, 07 Nov 2006 15:33:19 PST Reason is purdy simple: lotta stuff to do. I spend most of my days doing either a Visual Identity project, or some web design. And W-037 is still only half finished.
Spending close to my entire day infront of either a computer, sketchbook or just a regular book, constantly looking at course material is making me grumpy and tired. ¬_¬ Oh well. I'll get over it. ^_^

Ta

G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10546037/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10546037/ Sun, 29 Oct 2006 08:13:36 PST
]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10482682/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10482682/ Mon, 23 Oct 2006 02:08:45 PDT Got started on a new strip yesterday, but I had to do something else that was rather time consuming, so it's only half finished.
I'll be back on the net on a permanent basis from November 1st! o___________o
Other than this, I've got nothing to report.

Norwegian lesson:
Jeg vil rømme - I want to escape
Jeg vil ha rømme - I want sour cream

See people? No sweat! ;D

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10430104/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10430104/ Wed, 18 Oct 2006 02:51:42 PDT I haven't had time to make anymore strips since I began doing my course work, but my first deadline is just around the corner and I plan to have everything done by this evening. ...so I can go out with my friends who DOESN'T have a deadline in the morning. Bastards. xD I'll most likely stay sober and try to flirt with Japanese chicks. I'm sick, I know.
Basically I'm gonna start producing strips again as soon as I've got time.

Norwegian lesson: "Vegetable" in Norwegian is "Grønnsak", pronounced "gr-uhn-sák", which could be directly translated into "green-thing".

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10366577/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10366577/ Thu, 12 Oct 2006 07:41:44 PDT I went to Sainsbury like 5 days ago, and picked up a bottle of Vitamin C pills, and as I did I told my mate that I'd most CERTAINLY get sick now that I've bought these. I was so right...

When you have a fever it's because your body heats up so that it can kill off unwanted bacteria and such, basically everything that's not supposed to be there.
From this I've concluded that my body doesn't like vitamins and thus tries to kill em. o_o I bet I'll be well when I stop takin them. <_<

Anyone sensible would just go off to bed and sleep...
But NO! I won't let it stop me! -grrr-
Die Mr. Feverish, DIIIIEEEEE!
I'll do my coursework with scubadiving paperclips pinching my cheeks and blurring my vision if i have to! And I'll not miss a single day of school as each day bloody well costs me £75!
Mwahaha! Feel my fury bitch! I'll pop so much NUROFEN that pharmasists will name a holiday in my memory!

Other than that, I'm fine. :/

G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10344284/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10344284/ Tue, 10 Oct 2006 05:46:00 PDT And QUITE happy to be here! ^o^

My housemates and I are currently trying to find an ISP, so right now I have to go online while at school. Bollocks. I guess I'll be online on a more permanent basis in a couple of weeks. o____o

I've got some strips ready for ya though.. :3

G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10222744/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10222744/ Fri, 29 Sep 2006 06:41:18 PDT I've managed to put out 4 strips this week, which is bleedin phenomenal for someone as dead lazy as me. ¬¬
I still have 10-11 planned, so there's more to come.

Please visit my store: [link] There's some apparel and junk there for people who like these things. :3

Catch you on da flip side

G

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10131464/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/10131464/ Thu, 21 Sep 2006 10:23:31 PDT
October 28th I'll begin my journey back to England, and my studies, and on the 30th I'll arrive in Bournemouth. Here I will be trying to get settled in my new home, finding my stuff that's littered around town and such. I won't have internet at the beginning though, so that'll suck mondo.
While being offline I'll get some stuff done for when I'm back online. Some strips, maybe a page or two? ^__^ Anyways, you may enjoy me for another week or so, but after that... you'll simply have to survive without me. xD;

I'll be back

Gard

There's lotsa new merch and apparel from my comic btw. ----> [link] <----
Tees, tops, bags, buttons and badges! If you're interested (and maybe have a few $ to spare) why don't you have a look? ;D lol
Support a starving International Student and artist and so on... ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9897490/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9897490/ Tue, 29 Aug 2006 14:57:03 PDT
"Wacom Graphire 4 Studio". It sounds awesome, and it is. :3

I also bought myself a notebook mouse, so technically I've cut down the size of everything by 2/3. o_o This'll be handy when I'm transporting my equipment. ^__^

AND! Andandand. I've got a new backpack that's made for laptops + accessories. It's even wired so I can put my mp3-player in a mp3-player pocket, hook it up, and then plug my headphones into one of the shoulder straps. Fucking top of Norwegian ingenuity.

Oh! My new mp3-player will arrive sometime during the week. or possibly the next. Had to buy a new one because the old died on me after only 1 month. Fucking LOW of Norwegian ingenuity that was.... If you ever see something called "Asono" don't even breathe on it. You break it, you buy it... The new one's a Creative 512mb.

Had to buy a new mic-headset too... The old one died on me... Who am I? Tech-Death? ô_õ

Hell yeah! I've spent alot of money! o_o Can I afford it? Hmm... Hope so? ^_^ After working my ass off all summer I damn well should. o___o;

CYA

Gard ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9817589/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9817589/ Tue, 22 Aug 2006 15:28:21 PDT
It's passed on! The tablet is no more! It's ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet it's maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in pieces! It's pushing up daisies! It's circuitry processes are now history! It's off the twig! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off it's mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! IT IS AN EX-TABLET!! O_O
Just so happened that it did it's final hacking cough just as I was finishing a logo for a customer, so now I've spent my fee on a new tablet. A Wacom, A6 sized. It's going to be weird working on a smaller format. I guess I'll cope eventually. When the feeling of loss has subsided a bit. o____o

All thanks to =Iselen for being so extremely kind hearted to have given me the tablet to begin with. It was a good tablet, but now it's junk. ~_~
I meant that by the way. I really am eternally grateful.

Rest easy soldier, you've fought well.


RIP Trust 1200 Wireless Tablet
2005 - 2006

PS. This means you'll not see much new stuff from me until I get the damn replacement. OMFG! ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9757934/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9757934/ Thu, 17 Aug 2006 09:03:13 PDT But hey, 7 new deviations ain't so bad eh? ^_^

EDIT: So, due to public request (yes, that be you, John) I will now proceed with submitting one strip per day, until I run out. Which won't be long. Enjoy. ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9664056/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9664056/ Wed, 09 Aug 2006 12:35:36 PDT
1. Been in a crappy mood for the last week or so, but it passed. Must've be something like PMS or something... <_<

2. Need to DO something. Need to draw. Paint. Nudge. Tweek. Erase. Mask. Smear. Write. Sketch. Ink. I should have done something in Flash, but I can't really be bothered. I have one or two projects in Illustrator which I should finish, just need to figure out how and what exactly they need. Three comic strips are planned (so far), and a one-pager, these are my highest priority. A couple of pictures need colours and another one just needs to be done. I also should be figuring out a new profile for myself, take a few pics maybe. Create a logo. Make a new ID, again, and an avatar. So what is that? 10-11 things that should be done? Oh! And I also have some summer project I should look into soon. Bah. Can't be asked just yet. I must do something!! ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9279991/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9279991/ Wed, 05 Jul 2006 10:07:40 PDT Now these clubs were quite handy, and like the more contemporary Swiss Army Knife, it could be used for a great number of purposes. You could bash your neighbours head in with it, or bash your girlfriend's head in when on a date (sort of like the use of Rohypnol today), bash animals for dinner, or last, but not least: bash your own head in when you were bored. It was generally agreed that this club was a great idea.
But just like today, that age was a time for innovation. Some ape figured out that if he took that rather nice sharp rock that he inherited from his great-great-great-grandpappy, and strapped it to a stick, he got something completely different! Some call it an "axe", others a "spear" and some just simply "stick with sharp rock on the end". This small but significant piece of innovation probably kicked off the first weapons race in the world.

The previous tale I just told you was probably from some God forsaken jungle in the middle of Africa, set in the rather nifty time of 1.000.000 BC. Who knows? But one thing is for sure, the sticks with sharp rocks on have evolved. Now they're "rockets with a big chunk of explosives on the end". Somewhere along the way, the apes became lazy, and lost most of their hair and discovered obesity. They decided that they were indeed not animals, but "humans".
Animalkind was relieved that they nolonger had to be acquainted with them. Only the Chimpanzees, Orangutans and the Gorillas were not so happy as they were clearly the closest relatives to humans, and looked on them as the "black sheep" of the family. It should be noted that black sheep does not like to be acquainted with them either.
Anyways, the apes got lazy, and tried to come up with ways to annoy their neighbours without so much physical activity. This eventually resulted in the previous mentioned rockets, and a button. At first the rockets had to be aimed manually, with alot of calculations and checking where the wind came from and if Aquarius was in a good possition compared to Venus' conjuncture or whatever and so on. As most of you can tell, this became quite tiring as they now mostly had to use their brains instead of the old trusty muscles. The answer to this was that they invested some brainpower and a few years, and invented computers that were powerful enough to do all of these calculations in the matter of milliseconds without all that dreary thinking and chewing on the ends of pencils. The generals of the various human armies could just sit back and relax while the computers fought the entire Third World War, obliterated the entire human race (Animals: "YAY!") and indeed all life on the planet (Animals: "DOH!") within the timeframe of 12 hours.
The last part of this story hasn't exactly happened yet, but it's possible as the man who sits on the button is nothing more than an ape himself and should not be allowed closer to anything more dangerous than a ball of string. Humans are dangerous, jaelous, greedy and sort of hostile, and they think they are intelligent. Since there really isn't any other contenders for the throne of who's the most intelligent being on the planet, we naturally asume that we're it. The epitomy of evolution. But some of us have a sneaky suspicion that the real masters of evolution are just watching us to see what we do next.
But yeah, annoying your neighbours. If you boil it all down, that is one the basic parts of being human. Humans are social animals. Some are so social that they can make do with just being alone. But humans socialise in several levels. First of all we've got ourselves. Now, if we're alone with ourselves, we're never really alone, cause we have that sub-conscious thing that keeps bobbing in to annoy you, telli... ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9170106/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9170106/ Sat, 24 Jun 2006 14:57:22 PDT I've finished my first year in England, and now I've just begun enjoying a looong vacation. ^_^
BTW. Here's a list of Norwegian suckness.

1. Temperature - Norway is cold. Where I live it rains alot. This sucks.

2. Expensive - So bloody expensive. Thank God Iceland (the country, not the store) is more expensive! I hate to have to pay £4 for less than a pint at a pub... and a plain Snickers costs almost a quid.

3. People - The people are right bastards with only their own best interests in mind, only they can't have their best interest in mind because then the rest of society and the civilised world will judge them, and they'll go to hell. This is very confusing, and practically impossible to live by. This is why I run away as fast as I can.. <_< Atleast it ain't Hokksund. xD

4. Opening hours - It's getting better, but there's still nuffin open on Sundays... T_T

5. Hogs - They are sorta like chavs, only chavs have style. I call'em "Hogs" as this would be the direct translation from Norwegian. These guys buy Volvo 240s and make them into street cars... sometimes they make street tractors.....

6. Football (soccer) - The locals REALLY want to be bigger fanatics than brits. They almost pull it off. And the Stadium is less than 20 yards from our house. Oh how I hate them. They annoy me.

Other than this, there's not much more that's wrong with the place (my home town), but I'm sure I'll come up with more after a while.. ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9030347/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/9030347/ Sat, 10 Jun 2006 18:03:22 PDT It's not a bad country to live in, not at all. It's twice as cheap as Norway in many respects, and the climate's better, but after living here for almost a year, I must say that there are things that ANNOY me. Just for "fun" I'll compile a short list:

1. Everyone is really polite and nice - or fake, as I call it. And It's infectious. Even I have begun saying I'm sorry to people who "accidentally" shove me or step on my foot.

2. Queues - Brits queue everywhere, all the time. I was going home for Christmas and I ran into the queue from Hell. Some bloke asked me "Sorry, are you going into the queue?" and I told him "No, not reall..." and in mid sentance he cut in, got angry and pointed to a place a couple of miles away "WELL THE QUEUE BEGINS OVER THERE MISTER!! SO GET YOUR ARSE BACK THERE!" Now, it's fucked, but I admire the fact that he was honest and not sugar coating it... much.

3. Miniskirts and general skimpy clothing - Prior to moving here I didn't care whether or not a girl wore miniskirts. Now I'm closer to a anti-miniskirt activist. And why don't British girls wear anything when it's cold outside? Now, this has a certain bit of logic wedged into it; to avoid checking you coat. Well, yes, it can probably be a hassle, but for fuck sake women?!? When it's fucking cold outside, it's cold outside. Wear the damn coat already! Most blokes I know don't like blueish, frozen women. Hell, NOONE I know likes that. I hope. <_<

4. Traffic - Now, everyone knows that Brits drive on what's commonly known as the wrong side of the road. Yes, it IS the wrong side. The majority of the world's population drives on the right side of the road, so democraticly speaking we (the rest of the free world) are in the right, while you are all wrong. And what's up with the attitude of the drivers? I've come to the conclusion that when you study for your licence in this country there are 3 parts of your training.
101 - Using the throttle. 102 - Using the horn. 103 - Using obscene hand gestures.
How many people actually know how to exit a roundabout? Anyone? I'mma tell you this, most likely you'd get it wrong. I spent 5 minutes (Yes, I found it that annoying) watching cars exit a roundabout. Almost every single driver had his, or her, own way of doing this, and I for one never felt safe when crossing the bloody road again, I tell ya. And I don't know if it's just a local phenomenon, but why the flying fucking hell is there so many Ford Ka's down here in the south??

5. General looks - Sorry folks, you're just not Norwegians. Nothing racist in this statement, it's just a matter of taste. You do have pretty girls, one or two I've seen definately could've fooled me. It's all much better now during summer though, cause now us blokes get to focus mainly on bodies, and in that case it's amazing what's accepted in some cases...

6. TV - Now, I'm not really one to talk about this, since I don't watch TV, but seriously, if there was something on the damn tube worth watching?? Eastenders, Hollyoaks, Neighboors, Sugar Rush, Big Brother... It's all crap! These programs are some of the most watched in my house and how I loathe them. LOAAATHE. Bloody soap opera shite. The cast and crew of all these shows should be flushed down a toilet and put on the first bullet train to Heck. Oh, and most of the people who watch these shows aswell. Ho! That'd be an improvement to the planet, and no mistake! And what's with the commercials? True, they are the most entertaining thing on the telly, but they're so bloody.. british. o_o

7. Alcohol and drugs - HIC. Even I am drunk right now. Cheap alcohol equals a national problem with alcoholism, and the constant partying that people do also makes the illegal drug industry flourish, and crime escalates. Yaaaaay. Now, I don't really have a problem with this, since I am a great fan of low beer and wine prices (yes, Brits, they are low), but I have to see the pink elephant in the eye and say that it 's a problem. It's not safe on the streets at night at all. Most would reply to this by saying "Phh! Where is it safe these days?" I'll tell you: back home. For now.. Point is: people around here need to sober up soon. Atleast be sober when you get to Uni in the morning and continue to work on a degree that's going to be... ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/8697954/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/8697954/ Sun, 07 May 2006 07:06:27 PDT I've been travelling. Two times I went home to Norway, and one time I went to Scotland where I turned 22. The rest of the time I've been here in Bournemouth doing course work. As some of you know I'm studying Graphic Design, and they give us enough to do.
Besides doing course work I've been redesigning my fantasy world, and I guess I've gained a bit of technical and theoretical insight on a few subjects aswell.
In short, I guess I've been evolving.
I'm not making any promises about what I'm gonna do in the future, we'll just have to wait and see.

CYA

Gard ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/7244493/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/7244493/ Wed, 07 Dec 2005 06:10:13 PST
I recently found 6 of my comic strips in my "sent items folder". o_o Originally I wasn't gonna post 'em but what the hell. ¬_¬
During Christmas I'll post the remaining 14. And possibly fix the text and frames. o_o; I have to like do this home in Norway since I was stupid enough to leave it there..

The new "Minions" are dragging it's arse along the floor as we speak. Having a slightly diminished workload, I'll be able to work on it, maybe. I'm the slug of the comics industry. It's getting there K?

OH! And if anyone want's to own a Happy Shirt, just follow this link: [link] The shirts have a red smiley on black, instead of the inverted version that's in the comic... Cafépress doesn't have red-shirts. WTF? But what the hell, this is the Original Happy Shirt. (And they cost $22 ) I also put up some buttons. ^o^

Still no plumber dammit! ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/7102234/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/7102234/ Fri, 25 Nov 2005 11:14:22 PST
Love the song. Not a word in it almost so it's all instrumental goodnessh. Also kown as Sin City Theme. Find it, listen, love. :3

Happy Tree Friends [link] - The most grotesque cartoon featuring small, cute, happy, furry animals ever!

And HOORAY! The plumber's here to fix the heating! ...and there he went again. He'll be back tomorrow, or the day after that.

EDIT. Just felt like sharing my hatered towards plumbers. He'll be back next Thursday. o_o One and a half weeks after he were there in the first place.
Oh! And for some unknown reason *cough* I don't have internet at home anymore. Working hard to get it back. ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/6891876/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/6891876/ Fri, 28 Oct 2005 14:33:22 PDT is to blame for this ego-rant.
I'll try to come up with something new as I've allready done one not too long ago. :s

1. I should have been dead more times that I care to remember, the fact that I'm still here is purely illogical. Cars seem to have taken a liking to me.

2. I'm very acrophobic. I get dizzy when I'm more than 1 meter above ground.

3. I used to be afraid of spiders, but then I got bitten twice by a fairly small one. The bites turned into huge holes in my hand, which should have made me even more afraid, but instead left me with quite alot of respect.

4. Those same bites eradicated a name I had carved into my hand. Didn't really matter as the name was my own..... :s

5. I've always had an unhealthy fasciantion with swords. Give me anything with a blade and I'm entertained for hours practising slice-attacks and combos...

6. Used to play with swords made of fiber-glas when I was a kid. I've got a couple of small scars on my right cheek because of that. And they could've been bigger dammit! >.<

7. I think war sucks, but I can't imagine a world without it.

8. Through careful consideration I've come to the conclusion that god was created by Man, and he's scared shitless that we'll start figuring that one out.

9. I'm a man with a plan, and usually I strongly dislike being distracted and/or confused.

10. Women distract and/or confuse me alot, so I try not to concentrate about them. This is fairly hard though, since men are primitive with most primal instincts intact, and proud of it.

11. I live life day by day, and try to cope with any situation the best way I can. This can make me seem constantly, and irritably cheery, and can result in me sometimes demanding other people to be equally "cheery", Which really can be a pain in the arse.

12. I'm studying Graphic Design, and I'm in a class of 73 students. Almost all of which know who I am by name, whilst I know two or three.... I've concluded that it must be my rugged norwegian looks that does it. Something about me just have to suggest rape, plundering and a helmet with horns..

13. Speaking of rape, I've not had sex in years. I'd say I'm doing fine without it, my friends don't understand how I can live without it.

14. I've read alot of Terry Pratchett. Whether I've always thought like him, or whether I started to think like him after reading his books is unsure, but I do know we have a weird tendency of quoting eachother. ^^ I could write some really cool books, if I only knew how to write......

15. One of my housemates is a 22 year old, possibly bisexual (can't make up her mind), Thai girl. This last sentance is maybe 60% of all white men's wet dream. I carry this fact like a badge on my jacket to see guys get green with envy.

16. I once stabbed a sheep. And i cut myself in the process.

17. I went to see "Corpse Bride" with a friend of mine that happened to work with Tim Burton on both that one and "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". Infact, the last two times I've been to the movies I've been staying behind to see if there's any people I know that'd worked on the movies.

18. When pronouncing my name, the "r" automatically goes silent when I'm talking to Brits. This results in my name sounding like "God". I still can't smite anyone.

19. I've been wearing shirts for the last two days instead of hoodies, and I've LIKED it! o_o Am I growing up? Or worse... becoming stylish?

20. I take a new set of mugshots every year. Not a single one of the persons in these pictures look the same.


There. Now the net has even more trivia on me. ^__^ ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/6738730/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/6738730/ Tue, 11 Oct 2005 11:37:08 PDT .< If I find the fucknut that wrecked my bike I'll shove his stearing wheel up his arse and glue it shut! Damn puff! -pant- Other than that, I'm cool. ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/6562473/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/6562473/ Wed, 21 Sep 2005 10:23:36 PDT
After some fairly hectic weeks I'm now ready to embark on this epic quest called life blah blah blah lah-dee-dah... Anyways, I'm settled and good to go.

I'm back. Enjoy me! ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/6338926/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/6338926/ Sat, 27 Aug 2005 00:48:18 PDT I'm getting on a bus northbound to meet up with a friend who's also moving to Bournemouth, and we'll probably have a few pints and so. Tomorrow our small quest will begin, and we'll land on Heathrow around 4 pm... which is only half an hour after we've taken off from Norway... this is because we have to turn our watches back one hour... timezones........ o_o
We'll spend one night in London since we can't reach our landlord until Monday. >_< But that doesn't matter, aslong as I don't get robbed and gangbanged... <.<
So, in short: on Monday evening I've officially moved to England. OMFGSTFULOL! ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/6252174/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/6252174/ Wed, 17 Aug 2005 12:01:43 PDT
- Through the years I have had 8 cats, 14 dogs, 3 ginnipigs, a rat, 3 horses, a billy-goat, unknown amounts of rabbits, a crow, a seagull, 2 parakeets, a bat and an owl aptly named Archimedes. Oh! And chickens.

- In grade-school I was a stupid little twerp with the social intelligence of a coconut. Now I'm closer to watermelon. Still hairy though.

- I used to drop in at the local library once every week, and borrowed 5 books each time. This resulted in me knowing lots of things that's too trivial even for Trivial Pursuit...

- I did this because it was right next to the music-school, where I learned to play the piano.

- Harry Potter looks like I used to look. A kindergarden-class "recognized" me once. Bizzare.

- Every time I see someone bitch and moan, I automatically imagine them turning into an ugly rabid dog-like thingy that takes a bite at everyone around them and lacks the ability to shut up.

- You tell me something morbid, obscene and/or sexual and I will begin thinking of how I can translate that visually. It's instinct. Most ideas never reach the paper due to my fear of the drawings being used as a weapon against me.

- I believe that artists are the only social group that's allowed to be insane. Infact they are damn near expected to be.

- I am not an artist.

- A friend of mine has a bottleopener. She calls it "Öphner". I found one similar to it in Kopenhagen, only that this one had another name. Sadly I forgot it by the time I returned. She's the one who gave me the cactus.

- I've made roughly 14 Sims in Sims 2 based on me. Two days ago I made the final one, and this one is perfect. Looks exactly like me. This far he's almost finished College, and he's had a very happy life. Only red memories are of him burning food. Can't cook, and neither can I.

- Favourite color is everyone of them. Finally realized that it was possible to use more than black and red.

- I've always suspected that I've been closely related to "the missing link". My lower arms have always been a bit longer than strictly neccessary. And nomatter what you say, this makes arm-wrestling sooooo much harder.

- I can't enter a relationship unless I know exactly where I'm going to be for the next five years.

- Because of the last entry I'll most likely die alone.

- But I'll die rich, so it doesn't matter. MWAHAHA!

- I can only read my signature because ~draxgoroth tought me how. Thanks mate, appretiate it...

- I've been a rapper and skater. Once I managed to skate right over my right middle-finger. Tore the nail off. Blood everywhere. Sweeeeet. OK, I admit it. I cried like a foghorn. And I can't skate. Quite proud of that really.

- Used to be of a gothic persuasion. Even did the crappy angst-poems. Cut things into my arms. Got so moody and scary that I made children cry by looking at me. Finally I scared myself, so I stopped. Didn't know what goth was untill after I was done though.

- I'm a Harry Potter fan. It's sorta like narsissism.

- Some say I wrestle bears. If you saw me, you'd think I could.

- I'm very obsessive. And quite adictive. But too lazy to get adicted to anything. Even though I've tried.

- Somewhere there's a ring with the spirit of MoriAtani trapped inside. It was taken from me and I wantsss that back, but I'm better off without it. See? Too lazy...

- I hate football, or soccer, or fussball, or whatever it's called out there. I wont state any reasons for it, as "better" men have said them before.

- I also hate country-music. Just don't understand music about "my hamster's dead, and my Ma's run away with my tractor".

- I wear a longcoat. Atleast when it's cold. I do this for one reason: looks cool when it's windy. Sadly, it never is.

- I have a goatee and mustache. I've shaved 'em away 4 times this year, but I've finally decided that I look spiffy with 'em. I also cut my hair short this summer. Shortest doo I've had in 10 years. Loving it.

- Even though I'm 21, people who's 25 and older look to me as their elder... untill they hear I'm only 21... A 25 year old girl once told me she though I was close to 30. Still not sure that was a compliment...

- I have grey hairs. Not many, but I have 'em.

- I'm the youngest of 7 siblings. My youngest brother is 9 years older than me. Oldest brother is 20 years older. Statistically I'm doomed to fail.

- If I were going to die in one hour from now, what would my thoughts about that be? "Hm. Bummer..."

- I'm planning... ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5911639/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5911639/ Tue, 12 Jul 2005 07:36:29 PDT
Aaaand I've made some new stuff. Starting to really like detail-work. ..but I'm sure it's just a faze. I'll get over it. ¬.¬;;
Feeling the pressure to improve as I'm going to study Graphic Design. o_o
MUST... RULE... WORLD... IN 3... YEARS!!.. -foam-

Still not finished with pages 3 and 4 of the Minions thing. Procrastinating. Actually started over with page 3. Yeah. o_o

From the Whacky World of Cucumbers: Made Tommy Vercetti, from GTA - Vice City, in Sims 2. Fist I made him a Criminal Mastermind (obviously), then I made him a Business Tycoon, then a General, and then a Hall of Famer, and now i have him running for President or something. Exciting? ¬¬
I've also made alot of skins featuring various design I've made this last year. Yaaaaay.

Saw a Darth Vader helmet in a toy-store. Waaaaaantssss. (Yes I'm 21? What's your point? õ_ô)

Other than that, I'm fine.

CYA
Gard ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5844181/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5844181/ Tue, 05 Jul 2005 05:21:26 PDT Summer is upon me... Again. Blue skies, sun, wind and warm weather, basically all the worst parts of the Bible. o_o

Yeah, so, I haven't done Jack-all since the end of school. Just been mosying around counting my fingers (still 10) and practicing my Zen-hovering-while-meditating thing (ain't workin').

However, I have worked some on my Minionbattle comic. Revised page 1 and updated both graphics and text, and integrated it with page 2. Figured that I could submit two pages instead of just one. Have just begun on page 3 (kinda slow innit?), and will have to complete it and page 4 before I'm finished with 'em. Probably due this Autumn...
which is when I'm moving to England and Bournemouth. ^^ (Which reminds me... HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO BRING MY COMPUTER THERE??!?111!)
Anyways. I will live there for 3 years, probably go back home for vacations, graduate, recieve my Bachelors degree, move back to Norway, move to Bergen, find a crummy basement appartment, get a dog, get a job, pay off my loan, get a big fucking television, a more randy computer, find some girl, shag her useless, dump her, find some other girl, shag her useless, keep on doing that till I find someone that shags me useless, attempt to marry her, get left by the altar, dive into a bottle of whisky, reamerge as the new Tom Waits with a band of dancing dildos, die at the ripe old age of 41 and everyone else lived happily ever after till the moon got curious and decided to drop in on us to see what was happening and the world erupted in flames as the Armadillos and Platypuses leaves Earth in the nick of time to found the new Galactic Empire of Cheese... That's my life the next 20 years. Kinda' boring really.

But now I have to go make some long-distance calls to the UK so that I might find a roof and preferably some walls I can call home for the next few years.

CYA
Gard ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5545314/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5545314/ Fri, 03 Jun 2005 18:42:14 PDT ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5337487/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5337487/ Thu, 12 May 2005 09:52:19 PDT
This sooo sucks...

Comics are still coming, that's a promise, I have alot of work to do even though I don't have the net to help me.

1st priority: Comic-assignment (exam).

2nd priority: Retouch roughly 15 old comic strips.

3rd priority: Start working on the Minion Battles featuring Lithian (~ lithi-poo), Werewolf-=Iselen, and me. There will also be a short guest-role filled by ~GlitterGuts.

Unfortunantly, I'll have to finish the oldest material before I update the newest, so this might take some time. But you're probably looking at a comic-galore soon.

Also, since I don't have the oppurtunity to check dA 10 times every day anymore, I have to put my watchlist to sleep so that I'll have a chance to answer anything in my messagebox. If there is anything I really must see, please note or message me in a way.
This really do happen too fucking often!

And oh. Guess who'll be British the next 3 years? AIoB here I
come! Gard-Helset UK!

-CYA-
G ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5300357/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5300357/ Sun, 08 May 2005 08:32:21 PDT This is kinda unexpected..
This means there will be severly less internet-time for me (none), but I'll have more ca$h though. ^^ Still... NO INTERNET??? ???? OMFG I'll die, I'm sure of it. o_O

I can still reach devART through school though.. hmm... filetransfers will be a bitch.. Anyone thats got a USB-pen they want to give me? No? o_o;; Rats.. ¬¬ Well. I'll find a way. CDs. I can burn lots and lots of CDs! o_o Argh. The travesty. *o* lol!

Well.. <_<;; I'm going to try to get my newest comic published. The life-long dream of a lazy-ass fuck(me). ^o^ Would be a nice thing to show off when/if I begin my BA (HONS) Graphics Design study this fall.

-Harumph- -CYA-


-G-

]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5239257/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5239257/ Sun, 01 May 2005 14:52:14 PDT "You cockjuggling thundercunt"
My new fav expression from the 3rd Blade movie. xD Had to share the fun.

And my mouse now tastes like spicy beef soup. Don't ask.

Other than that, nothing important to report. CGd a couple of comic strips, but I won't upload em untill I've finished the older set of comics. Chronological order and all that jazz.

CYA
-G- ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5216040/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/5216040/ Thu, 28 Apr 2005 19:25:03 PDT I've been so damn lazy lately, that I have totally neglected dA! I know, I know, it's just as if the world stopped spinning! Crazy!

Yah.. So, I'm back again. Sadly my message box is filled over the rim with... messages... and it would take a better part of my life going through them all and saying thanks, you're welcome, etc.. o_o
So I'm gonna... ouch.. delete them all!!!
No, seriously, it's not funny. o_o I'm sorry I don't have the time to do so. So here goes my excuse of.. an excuse:

Thank you one and all for all your encouraging (and discouraging ) comments and replies! I appriciate every +fav and +friend received, and if they haven't been returned, then they damn well should be! you all!

There. I don't know about you, but I feel a hell of a lot better. ^_^

=Iselen really surpriced me not long ago, by actually giving me her old tablet. o_o Still can't belive it... though I'm staring at it. So r0xXz0r. ^o^ Took me about 10 minutes getting used to, but now.. PSCH! No problem! -slapself-

I've just begun working on my comic project. Have to experiment some and such, but soon you will see somewhat of a comic overload here. o_o
I'm planning to upload my earlier -coughCRAPcough- stuff before putting up the new ones. So we're not really looking at much, merely 28 old ones... of which roughly 15 suck!!!!!11 Might have to do some self-sencorship just to keep some of my dignity.
But hell, only time will tell.

CYA
Gard

PS. Anyone noticed that the new Pope looks like Emperor Palpatine? o_o Freaky..

PPS. Capture my 5.000nd and I'll make something for ya.

PPPS. I'm great. ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/4655037/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/4655037/ Wed, 23 Feb 2005 15:29:15 PST Being inactive here doesn't neccessarily mean I'm slacking off in general. Well, I am, but that's a whole different story.
Productivity is always a factor, an itch that needs to be scratched. As if my schoolwork wasn't enough I have to endulge in computer arts aswell, I can't afford to get rusty.
A wishlist of tools is growing larger and larger, and thoughts like "if I had that thing and that, I'd be able to kick ass!" are surfacing more often. I really want a tablet, a camera, a scanner, more RAM, a DVD-writer etc. so I could optimize my digital art. Like for instance, I could begin on my comic. First strip is finished, but not where I sit right now. When you have the right tools everything is much easier.
I still don't have time to become active again. You're lucky if you find me on MSN even.

See you around

Gard ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/4425818/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/4425818/ Thu, 27 Jan 2005 04:21:24 PST some day ill hit myself hard and return with "full" force. these days i only check my messages once a week (tops).
see you around. i'll be back.

~Gard-Helset is going into hibernation. ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/4217490/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/4217490/ Sun, 02 Jan 2005 01:19:07 PST
hope it wont suck as much as the last one.
-best of luck in 2k5-

and yeah. ive got like.. -counts- -hits self- -looks at message ticker- roughly 80-some messages. most of them deviations. i promise to answer them all, just give me time. n_n i really dont feel like doing it now as im a lazy git that would rather watch anime and eat something unhealthful at the moment. like chips. mmmm, chips. or just various candy. -drool- and soda. ...if i had any.. (shoppin anyone?)
but i have some laundry to do.. <.< (4 bags.. , and probably a floor to wash. naaah, forget the floor, ill just wait till the dustbunnies have coated the entire floor and made a carpet, cause then ill just roll it up and throw it out. yes, im energy-efficient, so?
anyways. have a good one. ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/4079925/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/4079925/ Thu, 16 Dec 2004 10:44:05 PST
- Today I'm finished at college for the holidays, and I got to know what grade I got on my art-exam. I fucking Aced it! Over the top bloody grades in graphics and printing, ICT, ceramics, painting and drawing! Parents: overjoyed and promise of expensive Christmas-gift, which I declined as I don't need anything. ^^
- I got the comic-book "Lenore: Noogies" in the mail today! It's collecting the first four issues, so now I've got em all!!! *w*
- Later on I'm going to a friends to watch "The Return of the King - Extended", as we saw the two other extended-flicks yesterday. And we're just going to have fun and drink and eat tacos while watching LOTR!
- I'm in love with a girl, it's really something like a love-quadrant, but I nolonger care, cause I know she cares, in a way, even though she havent said anything. I get crushes quite easily, but this is different as she is nothing like anything I've ever been interested in. (she's actually cool ) She is in my class and we've been spending alot of time together lately. ^^ She's definately been rubbin off on me. (I've begun to change dialects when talking )
- My long-lost Ankh was found today. It has been away for over a month, around the time my friend died, and now, finally, I can hang it around my neck once more. n_________n Don't know how it got lost, because I never take it off...
- I'm very happy right now.
- Honestly!

Word up to all ma homeys in dA h00d: * Iselen hi babe, devART wouldnt be the same without you. ~draxgoroth dude, devART is the same without you since you never made a big number of yourself, but ~CasaDeviant would definately not be the same! Love ya dude. To *AmzarahGunn, take it easy, chill, and Breathe. And a word up to all of you who havent been mentioned here now as I've mostly given cred to my closest mates. Good Christmas and Merry New-Year with bottle-rockets! ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/4017031/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/4017031/ Wed, 08 Dec 2004 07:14:06 PST

its a small honor for sure, but it was * Iselen's avatar () that inspired me. it has a little red hat for teh occation. ^^ thanks to Iselen for continued insanity! ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/3918534/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/3918534/ Thu, 25 Nov 2004 16:57:00 PST i was trying to find something non-grotesque/dark yesterday, but had to forfit... as my sister says: even the cute things you make are dark. and really, i've seen so many cool colorful pix here on dA, so why can't i? shit.. i feel i've been experimenting too much with techniques and not so much with expression. i must try to make something thats... thats... see?! i cant even come up with the words because ive been so one tracked. o_o
i think ill try to use more than just one color and black in my coming pix.
see you, where? i dont know... but i feel like getting out of my minds dark and moldy basement. the rats are really big down here! ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/3831249/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/3831249/ Sun, 14 Nov 2004 08:00:36 PST
His name was Frode Amdal, and he was unlike any other person I've ever met. Always smiling, and not in an annoying way. You just knew, that if he wasn't happy, there was something very wrong. But I never saw him angered or pouting. Even when he got frustrated during our exams he only sweared, forever smiling. He gave of himself without caring whether he'd get anything back. When someone was unlucky and say.. burned down a classroom (true story), he baked muffins. When I had been working on our group assignment (analysis of the painting "Snowstorm on the Ocean".. Irony of fate...) alone for hours on end, he bought me a candy-bar and were all thumbs-up and smiles. He even searched through every store in Volda, to find ballons for some guys birthday, and he didn't even know him that well at the time. He was a wonderful human-being. A person I'm so emensely happy to have known. I will always remember him as what he was. A bundle of joy, always color-coordinated (you wouldn't believe it, his style was flawless, perfectioned), a great artist, in many fields so much better than I, and a loving, good man. The world has lost big this time...

In Memoram
Frode Ueland Amdal


Frode loved this song, and he borrowed my CD. It's one of my favourites, but he can have it.

Radiohead - Karma Police

Karma police, arrest this man, he talks in maths
He buzzes like a fridge, he’s like a detuned radio
Karma police, arrest this girl, her hitler hairdo, is making me feel ill
And we have crashed her party
This is what you get, this is what you get
This is what you get, when you mess with us

Karma police, I’ve given all I can, it’s not enough
I’ve given all I can, but we’re still on the payroll
This is what you get, this is what you get
This is what you get, when you mess with us
And for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
And for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself

For a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/3732419/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/3732419/ Tue, 02 Nov 2004 09:46:05 PST Gard-Helset«-.¸¸.·´¯)___ _ _ _


Journal«-.¸¸.·´¯)___ _ _ _

It's been a long time since I last edited this journal. Well over a month I guess. So what's new? School's still on. I've just had my first exam which I actually passed! Yeah, I'm just as surpriced as you. o_o I've been at a reunion at my old school and seen alot of my old friends again. The magic of last year was completely gone though. To be honest I allready knew the magic was lost about 6 months ago. Sometimes I'm so in contact with facts it's not funny. And as some of you might have have noticed I'm sometimes not in-touch with facts. That's not funny either... Aaaaanyways. Now I'm broke, and will be for the next 14 days. lol It's funny because I know it was money well earned. ^_^

Drax and I keep living here in the house at the beginning of the forest. The house has become something like a constant link-party since both Drax and I have computers logged onto the net 24/7. We've played games like The Sims 2, Burnout 3, Diablo 2, World of Warcraft, The Matrix Online, Jedi Academy, Star Wars Battlefront, Worms 3D and City of Heroes almost non-stop since I first got my comp one month ago. I seriously need a new Graphics-card. o_o The one I have is like... 64M? It's severly fucked, that's for sure. Of course, the problem about us playing so many games, and me being at school and work and shit, is that I don't spend as much time at dA anymore. I just sometimes submit one or two pics, and maybe, just maybe, post a comment or two. I suck, I know. lol

As to what I'm submitting, I've played around with vectors alot lately. Or atleast I've played around with the pen-tool in Photoshop. It's basically the same since it uses a vector-formula, but according to dA, it's not. Something about rasters and shit, I don't know, I don't care. I don't use pure vectors anyways. My next question is "what's next?" Drax says Airbrushing. I fear teh Airbrush. o_o Most airbrush piccies I've seen rawk! Mine will look like what they are... the work of a n00b. But... -sigh- I'll get around to it. Eventually.

Some weeks ago I learned that someone had stolen a pic from me. I was all like "WTF mate?" To be ripped is like such a bummer, and yet totally cool. What's cool is that some people thinks my work is cool enough to make money off it. What's not cool is that they're making money off it... I've not seen my precioussss (it was a LOTR pic...) being taken advantage of though, I've only just heard of it's passage through the net. But anyways, today I came over this little watermark-tutorial here at dA that enables you to create invisible watermarks. It's a must read. ~ watermarks

By the way... I'd like to advertize a little site that's brought me alot of fun! ^_^ No, it's not pr0n... Kontraband.com, a site filled with gags, lame-ass jokes, animations, movies, tv-ads etc. etc. But ye be warned, there's some truly horrific songs floating around there, just waiting to glue themselves to the inside of your skull. o_o [link]
Today's lyrics are one of those hellish songs... It's cool because it's fast and in japanese, and I don't know jack about japanese, so it sounds cool. -breathes-


Lyrics«-.¸¸.·´¯)___ _ _ _

Kotoko (I've) - I Wanna Be Your Princess (!!!)

I Wanna Be Your Princess.
I Wanna Be Your Princess.
Tell Me My Prince, What Can I Do For You? (Can I do for you?)

Ima kara mune DOKIDOKI Kare no heya no mae
Shukudai nanka sessesesse Yatteru baai ja nai tte
Dokusenyoku MERAMERA Matteru dake ja DAME datte
Yuuki wo dashite NOKKU NOKKU Chiisana chiisana daibouken!

Futari no shindo, Dore hodo? Koko no senpou wa NO GUARD!!
Koukando wa WAADO? KAADO? Isseichido no SEMINUUDO?
BEDDO wa futari no AIRANDO? Kore de RIIDO? BAAJIN ROODO
Watashi ni wa Early? Soredemo kono sai da, ari!

Omitooshi yo Ringo no BUUBII TORAPPU
Kajiru nara amai Forbidden Fruit
Katte ni nozoku wa... ]]> ~Gard-Helset http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/3352707/ http://Gard-Helset.deviantart.com/journal/3352707/ Mon, 13 Sep 2004 06:35:31 PDT «-.¸¸.·´¯)


lyrics«-.¸¸.·´¯)

Eels - Friendly Ghost

If you’re scared of dying you better
Not be scared to live.
I’ve been spending all my days
Giving all I can give.

Last night I heard someone walking
Through my bedroom door.
What they want I’m not exactly sure.

Chorus:
A friendly ghost,
Is all I need. (x2)

Working time on a broken watch,
Countin’ days till the the old shop sells me back my saxophone
And everyone’s gonna leave me alone.

Two times I thought I heard someone
Knocking on the glass.
I hit my head and prayed that it would last.

Chorus

If you’re scared of dying you better
Not be scared to live.
I’ve been carrying round a grudge,
I think I better forgive

Last night I heard footsteps walking
On the attic floor.
Got up and I opened up the door.

Chorus

If you’re scared of dying you better
Not be scared to live.
I’ve been spending all my days
Giving all I can give.



«-.¸¸.·´¯)


All hail the most hectic month I've had in years.

So much have happened, so much new. I've been working, I've been moving, I've begun studying, I've been partying. I've almost lost loved ones. Been sick. Dazed. Confused. All at once. A month a go this 15th, I moved into my own place. Made something of a sanctuary of it. Peace of mind. Huh! I didn't know I could find it so close to home. But just so happens, I did.
In notime, time was ripe for school and studying, and so I got to meet my new classmates. The feeling of living in a very small world resides in my bones still. I'm somehow connected to everyone in this country. o_o When I was applying for a job at a local pub, they had allready checked my dA-site. I hadn't told them? It was weird.

I got to know this girl too. She and I had a common aquaintance up north. She turned out to be really nice and funny... so basically I'm treading water here... And lots of it. And it's deep. I'm a weak animal, controlled by emotion. This other girl said that men in general weren't even that. All we were good for was cum... So I asked her if our purpose in life was to get fucked alot.... She didn't complete her following sentence.

A week ago, there was a near-fatal car-accident. My brother and my dad almost became dog-food. A miracle saved them from becoming roadkill. Our car did become roadkill... But chance wants me to have my dad and brother a while longer. I'm so overly happy about that. ^_^

And a couple of days ago, my friend ~ draxgoroth moved in, and so, CasaDeviant is now up and online.

«-.¸¸.·´¯)


Spankin' Words O' Wisdom... BITCH! «-.¸¸.·´¯)

"Thou doubt the Wisdom of Da Christ, thou art a Bitch." -Jesus


Clicky-Licky Looky Looky!«-.¸¸.·´¯)

~Gard-Helset