"we are not afraid of death, but afraid of suffering"

All speech is vain and empty unless it be accompanied by action.

There is a great deal of wishful thinking in such cases; it is the easiest thing of all to deceive one’s self.

We need men who can dream of things that never were.

A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession.

And what he greatly thought, he nobly dared.

"Immaturity is the incapacity to use one's intelligence without the guidance of another."

"A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous."

"Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties."

"A lively understandable spirit once entertained you. It will come again. Be still. Wait."

"The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain."

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way."

"You are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life."

"You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen"

"The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention… A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words."

"Discouragement is simply the despair of wounded self-love.

"Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ' Press On ' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."

"An idea is salvation by imagination."

"Andy Warhol would have loved Lissy Trullie: Not only does she boast deadly downtown looks -- striking, model thin and with a penchant for bowler hats -- she's got the attitude and serious songwriting chops to match....Simply put, Trullie's magnetism is the kind that can't be learned."

You sound like this poet I've read before. I can't put my finger on it, but I know i'll remember it eventually ... no, not Whitman. Not e.e.cummings. Someone else. Oh, but dear, this is really fantastic. Your imagery is just amazing, like this: "pearlesque odour," that's amazing. And dear? Keep writing.

"America just proves itself dumber each and every day."

"I really want to thank you guys for being here. I'm so going to chew those guys out for not being here, it's two weeks to our concert, they're the lead and the other parts, and we need to do this right! When I chew them out tomorrow know that it's not about you, it's about them. This is just me venting, because I need to vent. So thank you. Thank you very much guys."

"Got nothing left but it ain't bringin' me down
I'm just gonna follow the sound
...
That ringing in my ears
Oh whats that sound
It's the cold death knell
Of the big ships bell
See the strings unwound
See them lying on the ground
Can't pick up your guitar
Cause you've forgotten the sound

We'll keep searching
Keep on searching"

"You know, it's funny, I feel the same way too. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and all I want to do is punch someone in the face until they bleed and then hug them until it goes away. I want to break all my fingers, snap all my bones, rub away my nose, rip out my nails, eat tiny stones. And in the end it just goes away."

"We must not allow ourselves to become like the system we oppose."

"I, too, like everyone else in this world, have made mistakes, but only one which I'll remember as jeopardizing my faith. It was the challenge of my life, but it helped me overcome my mistakes of the future. Beauty isn't always made of perfections, you know? Sometimes its blemishes give it strengths."

"He is just a stupid vegetable!"
"At least you'll never be a vegetable. Even artichokes have hearts!"

"My drifting ship
I still believe in anchors
My heart
I still believe in God."

When I was a kid I honestly expected to fly one day. ... I believed, deep in my heart of hearts, that one day I'd find a genie lamp in a desert, and wish to fly, first thing.

... I just figured it was something I'd do by the time I was a grown-up. Do taxes, visit the desert... That's besides the point. So I would rub my genie lamp - and yeah, there'd be the requisite exploring of the world and taunting of enemies ... but most of the time I'd just sit ...

In my mind it was impossibly quiet and still up there. Every thought would have an echo in that kind of silence. I thought it would be lovely to go someplace like that, where you couldn't even imagine the ground existing, and watch a different sunset every day.

i feel like screwing famous people and putting something i know is real up.

i think we ought to cut off the jaw
then yeah, we could see the throat better
get that probe
stick it in there
steady now,
hold it, i'll snip the... ]]> ~Ghrey http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/24033237/ http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/24033237/ Thu, 02 Apr 2009 23:51:23 PDT
Whenever I read over what I say to people I feel as though I'm Don Quixote, saying the wrong things and doing the wrong things and so acting like a chivalrous fool.

Fuck. That.

Why the hell do I become so detached from what I say, why do I care so much when I do it, how can I sound like the person I want to sound like?

Gademis. FML.

It's even getting that way with reading my own poetry and I hate that.
It's like there's
1) - The public appearance of a kind and neutral person who enjoys receiving messages for the popularity and for being able to do some good
and
2) - The wiseass bastard who actually doesn't give a shit about what most people think yet still cares deeply for the idea of leaving something meaningful in a poem and the people who are willing to read it

and 1 seems to drive away 2 while 2's inability to work leaves 1 with stagnant comments because they're never answered and when they are they are either entirely 1 or entirely 2: too passive, too oddball.

and so I care, and I don't even know if it's that serious.

"Know thyself."
Greek philosophers.

"If I was playing the piano I'd play it in the closet"
Catcher in the Rye.

]]> ~Ghrey http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23955178/ http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23955178/ Sun, 29 Mar 2009 16:46:30 PDT
]]> ~Ghrey http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23925597/ http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23925597/ Fri, 27 Mar 2009 22:12:01 PDT »»April 11 2009

This Sat. is my day.
It's my day to relax, get back into the groove, get back into writing and replying and talking.

I'm not dead.
I was visiting colleges after seeing my grandma.

[link]

You can probably find me there next year.

Cheers,
Ghrey

»»March 28 2009

I have 4 new poems if you want to see them.

Tower,
Man-Breath,
Contact,
Coat

What I'm up to:

[link]
Age of Rohan, Soldier Front

(fun things!)

]]> ~Ghrey http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23925065/ http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23925065/ Fri, 27 Mar 2009 21:28:36 PDT
Read RuefulReverie 's stuff
Get series 1 doctor who (w/ christopher eccelston)
Make web-comic
make all-percussion band
"the flea" by john donne
give heather a book of your poetry
burn a book of poetry to stay warm
learn how to play "the orchard" by rose melberg on acoustic guitar.


cheers.

]]> ~Ghrey http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23772758/ http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23772758/ Wed, 18 Mar 2009 22:58:07 PDT I would say that I am tired being up until 2 A.M., but my economics teacher says that you are only tired when you are physically spent.

I am tired, but he would say I am sleepy, actually.

Being tired makes me scared that I will lose my necessities of clear vision and clear thought.

Being tired thus does indeed unlock me from all the bitter beatings of social necessity that encompass themselves, needing themselves.

My fear is this:
having been attached to people and while loving living so much,
living will be ironically taken from me when I am not expecting it,
leaving behind words that people will think aren't acceptable from a dead man.
This isn't a journal to leave behind for the people who may or may not see me when I'm dead,
but to express my worry that I will be nothing more than another tragic teen torn from the world before having expressed anything meaningful, thus being innocent.

I am not innocent, think not of me that way, I am a craven beast breathing only for some attention at times, for pleasure at others, usually in the form of being better than others. Better than is such a stupid pleasurable philosophy, but it's obvious that I can't go without knowing I am greater than someone, anyone.

So when/if I die tomorrow or the next day or the next remember me as the person who struggled to shed things before he went and tried to leave something worthwhile behind.

A smaller request if the first is easy,
be honest. all-the-way honest. all else is simply deception, unseen or unintentional deception, and in our time alive that's really not any good.

Love always,
Ghrey

]]> ~Ghrey http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23735799/ http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23735799/ Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:55:56 PDT (They are restricted to the trial of trying to beat everyone else.)
Until that happens, I'm more or less tied down at the moment.

I hope to return soon, cleansed.

]]> ~Ghrey http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23633439/ http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23633439/ Tue, 10 Mar 2009 19:30:42 PDT [link]

and for a visual! just go to the table of contents on this wiki and click "Turbellaria"

[link]

Biology.

]]> ~Ghrey http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23583699/ http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23583699/ Sat, 07 Mar 2009 23:04:55 PST !
What are 10 things you love?

1. I love the taste of orange juice on satudary mornings after a long night's sleep.

2. I love driving recklessly down long roads when no one's watching; I feel villianous

3. I love picking my nails for the junk underneath them. they feel clean afterwards and it gives me something to do; some may think that's a bit feminine, but I can assure you not many people enjoy picking odd goop from under their nails while waiting. At least, not many girls.

4. I love the experience of being awake at 5 o' clock in the morning; I see black swarming things out of the corner of my eye, and everything seems to make sense and fit together. perhaps if Einstein had been very tired that string theory ... well, who knows?

5. I love danger.

6. I love being alive.

7. I love things. Not just things, but things. The trees in autumn, when they decide to be less bossy. The essence of the tree. The way it is, the way it looks, the sound it makes, the strength yet weakness it shoulders. The inner qualities, not the surface appreciation.

8. Going along with 7, I often like being very very still. I like to think that I am understanding the aspect of everything around me.

9. I love being absolutely obnoxious, because I can, in that way, make people react.

10. Anyone who has the ability to be serious about anything; concentration, understanding, pure drive, rather than using embarrassed brakes.

Tag?

Um.

Anyone who wants to!
especially
, , and

]]> ~Ghrey http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23473929/ http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23473929/ Tue, 17 Mar 2009 19:40:37 PDT »»3/17/09

"He may be mad, but there's method in his madness. There nearly always is method in madness. It's what drives men mad, being methodical."

G. K. Chesterton

«»

"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity."

George Bernard Shaw

»»3/16/09

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others."

Groucho Marx

»»3/15/09

"Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side."

All in the Family

»»3/14/09

"Basically my wife is immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."

Woody Allen

»»3/13/09

"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."

P.J. O'Rourke

»»3/12/09

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work - I want to achieve it through not dying."

Woody Allen

»»3/11/09

"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry."

Bill Cosby

»»3/10/09

"It's good to know there are people in the world much sicker than I am."

Tim Curry
(of Rocky Horror Picture Show -- I just watched it)

«»

"Yes, there is a Nirvanah; it is leading your sheep to a green pasture, and in putting your child to sleep, and in writing the last line of your poem."

Kahlil Gibran

»»3/9/09

"Between thought and expression lies a lifetime."

Lou Reed

»»3/8/09

"...for no man lives in the external truth among salts and acids, but in the warm, phantasmagoric chamber of his brain, with the painted windows and the storied wall."

Robert Louis Stevenson

«»

"Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner. Tactics is getting her to drink it."

Frank Muir
(Don't judge!)

»»3/7/09

"I have seen flowers come in stony places
And kind things done by men with ugly faces
And the gold cup won by the worst horse at the races,
So I trust too."

John Masefield

«»

"We cannot control the evil tongues of others; but a good life enables us to disregard them."

Cato the Elder

»»3/6/09

"The whole life of man is but a point of time; let us enjoy it."

Plutarch

«»

"Was all this bloodshed and deceit - from Columbus to Cortes, Pizarro the Puritans - a necessity for the human race to progress from savagery to civilization? Was Morison right in burying the story of genocide inside a more important story of human progress? Perhaps a persuasive argument can be made - as it was made by Stalin when he killed peasants for industrial progress in the Soviet Union, as it was made by Churchill explaining the bombings of Dresden and Hamburg, and Truman explaining Hiroshima. But how can the judgment be made if the benefits and losses cannot be balanced because the losses are either unmentioned or mentioned quickly?"

Howard Zinn

»»3/5/09

"Trouble is part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough."

Dinah Shore

«»

"I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it."

Ritae Mae Brown

«»

"If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?"

Steven Wright

«»

"The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep."

Woody Allen

(oh, woody.)

»»3/4/09

"The important thing is that you never become complacent. That's when good intentions fade, growth stops, and all the things that make you sad in the world continue to wreak their quiet havoc."

~Hitotsuboshi

»»3/3/09

"Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. It is an art like any other. Its virtuosi are called altruists."

H. L. Mencken

«»

"I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand."

Confucius

«»

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a mise... ]]> ~Ghrey http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23385620/ http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/23385620/ Sat, 28 Feb 2009 15:42:32 PST
Alexander Pope

«»

"Humanity is not a gift of nature, it is a spiritual achievement to be earned."

Richard Bach

«»

"To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."

Emerson

»»2/27/09

"What you are is a question only you can answer."

Lois McMaster Bujold

«»

"Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity."

Hanlon's Razor

«»

"If you do not wish to be prone to anger, do not feed the habit; give it nothing which may tend to its increase."

Epictetus

«»

"Of all the properties which belong to honorable men, not one is so highly prized as that of character."

Henry Clay

«»

"Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old."

Emerson
(Hahaha)

»»2/26/09

"We do on stage things that are supposed to happen off. Which is a kind of integrity, if you look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else."

Tom Stoppard

» Poems going strong.

»»2/25/09

"I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance."

Socrates

»I think I'm going to try to write a poem a day.

»»2/24/09

"Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sun-dial in the shade?"

Benjamin Franklin


»I'm getting my life in order, it's a difficult idea, and I'm trying to do more. but ... I'm not really getting anywhere.

»Maybe this chair is just too comfortable. I am sloth, thus
»I am multitudes.

]]> ~Ghrey http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/22517492/ http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/22517492/ Sun, 11 Jan 2009 02:37:20 PST I'm terribly embarrassing to read, I'm afraid.
Any brilliance I may have had back then was just covered up in unveiled oddness that was encouraged by years of support from adults.

So I'm sorry about that. I've lost that old person now, and I wish I could have been kinder for you all.

I'm salvaging things from those journals (my favorite things!) and keeping them, so not everything will be gone. I just feel like it's time to absorb the past and move on.

The things I've been doing recently:

Avoiding work (when have I not?)
-I don't want to say all that I've done. it is, utterly, embarrassing.
Trying new things
-Teen Second Life (a horrowshow)
-Pandora radio (absolutely worth it)
-phonographs (my dad's old phonograph is amazing, and I love him for the support. he went as far as to find it for me, set it up for me, and even get a stand for it. I'm very grateful for him. I hardly express it.)
Reading
-School-required works, especially Long Day's Journey Into Night and The Metamorphosis.
-I will read Handmaid's Tale soon.
-I've almost begun studying two oil painter's guides from the library. I've just been too caught up with my own judgmental attitude today, sorry about that.
Day dreaming

"Truth is more of a stranger than fiction."
Mark Twain

And I agree. Now I'm trying to make truth from what I created as a front, a piece of fiction. 3 years ago I was a very, very, very creepy and obnoxious person. That's the plain truth. I want to make it right.

]]> ~Ghrey http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/15524644/ http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/15524644/ Thu, 15 Nov 2007 18:17:20 PST
Describe the sensation of being wet.

What does an apple taste like?

How does a rose smell?

What does summer sound like?

Oh, really?

Now imagine trying to describe God.

---
The Rabbit and his Brigade of Wonderland folk

---

Things I've been doing lately:
Looking ]]> ~Ghrey http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/15512417/ http://Ghrey.deviantart.com/journal/15512417/ Wed, 14 Nov 2007 19:33:31 PST
Nobody gets around like nobody does.

"Nobody knows everything, you know."

"Woah, nobody knows everything?"

"Yeah, nobody does everything all at once."

"MY NEW IDOL"

---
The Rabbit and his Brigade of Wonderland folk

---

Things I've been doing lately:
Looking ]]> ~Ghrey