http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:GoldRain&section=today deviantART RSS for by:GoldRain en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 08 Dec 2009 22:24:59 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/26405257/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/26405257/ Wed, 05 Aug 2009 15:15:26 PDT 1) The person is a male.
2) He's a historical figure.
3) He's probably an artist (of comics?).

I've tried using Google and Ask.com and found only mentions of a historical fiction character called "Simon Legree". When I brought this up to the person who challenged me to find out who Simon Legree was, I was told that I failed. I really need help, so if anyone knows, I beg of you to please tell me!


THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!


P.S. For speedier results, I am posting this in three Forums at GaiaOnline and in my journal on DA. I just wanted to tell you in case you don't want to post in journals where people do that!

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/23045470/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/23045470/ Fri, 06 Feb 2009 17:29:53 PST Okay, well have fun and have a good day, week, month, year, lol... have a great time, anyways!
Oh - and a VERY VERY VERY VERY BELATED Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's!

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/21973218/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/21973218/ Sun, 14 Dec 2008 01:08:52 PST I have no file with even a little part of my poem "Fallen Star"... Or if I do, I can't find it... Did I even title it that? I can't remember now...

I WANT MY POEM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*Has inevitably lost it* There is no emoticon that can accurately describe what I am feeling, what I am going through, right now.

But it's okay, right? It's not like it's definitely gone forever, right? Maybe it's because it's nighttime and all... MY POEM!!!!!!!!! Waaaaah... my poem... I'll never have it again, will I? Dang... Mmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyy pppppppppoooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmmmmm.... Waaah... It's gooooone.... I never made a copy of it, did I? I'm so stupid....

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/19498055/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/19498055/ Sun, 20 Jul 2008 10:39:54 PDT
]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/19497530/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/19497530/ Sun, 20 Jul 2008 10:03:58 PDT


(Btw the only reason I'm listening to Spngebob and Fairly Oddparents (oh, apparently it's a crossover of Fairly Oddparents and Jimmy Neutron) is because my brother and sister are watching it...and the TV is a bit loud...)

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/19497437/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/19497437/ Sun, 20 Jul 2008 09:56:49 PDT Weaving in and forth through compliments and flattery,
Never take a break or falter,
Always needing the other person,
Before your distance breaks through,
Oh Lord,
Watch me Fall to the Seas of Sin,
Drowning myself so much further,
While to me your careful reputation is falling down,
Like a child's blocks stacked up high on the counter...

Cause of pain,
Cause of tears;
Makers of joy,
Makers of pride;
Tonight is the last stand,
Today is the first dance.

Never mind the little girl in the corner,
Holding on tightly to a little piece of flesh,
Dressed in black tears and a Sinner's clothes,
She's never been much and she never will be,
Nobody ever takes notice for more than a criticism,
Though all she ever wanted was a Knight in Shining Armor.

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/18360472/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/18360472/ Fri, 06 Feb 2009 17:20:50 PST

To twist and twirl within myself,
Dreaming endlessly into unknown space,
A shadowed anger lurks menacingly
In front of the empty heart.
A tear drips slowly
From the corner of an eye,
Though no one will take notice
As it is quickly wiped away;
A time of summoned love once buried,
Now and again to kill it
With a shattered rose;
The words have been lost.
Scattered become the emotions
Of one so lonely and tired,
Trudging wordlessly through her Self,
Weary though never asking for help,
Until nothing is left,
But the ashes and hatred
Of yet another pained Soul.


THE NEW VERSION:

To twist and twirl within myself,
Dreaming endlessly into unknown space,
A shadowed anger lurks menacingly
In front of mine empty heart.
A tear drips slowly
From the corner of an eye,
Though no one will take notice
As it is quickly wiped away;
A time of summoned love once buried,
Now and again to kill it
With a shattered rose...
Oh, how my words have been lost
For an eternity never gained;
Scattered become the emotions
Of one so lonely and tired,
Trudging wordlessly through her Self,
Weary though never asking for help,
Until nothing is left,
Other than the ashes and hatred
Of yet another pained Soul.
Fire burns down passion,
Water drowns out loneliness,
So only an empty space,
A giant black void,
Can sink yet remain.
Nervousness takes over,
I feel afraid to share
What I feel might be true...
"What can it all mean?"
I might ask,
If I so had the courage to do.
I believe that this is not real,
Yet maybe it is this way for me,
Or simply I could be
Just another paranoid girl,
On the road called Life.

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/17539880/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/17539880/ Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:28:46 PDT A miracle I survived myself,
Though I died inside.
My heart is not my own,
This dead and decayed thing,
Blackened through the tears of sorrow,
The years of Tomorrow,
Can you take me,
Can you resurrect me,
Am I just lost within myself?
Please help so I can reject you,
There is no hope left in me,
For I've squeezed out every last drop,
So I can squeeze it out of you,
I've lived for cherishing enough
to dry up the love from another,
So my dream of drinking from the cup of nothingness
has come true,
I'm lost, I'm so lost,
I don't know what to do with myself,
I'll never be anything but Alone,
Buried alive within my innermost heart of hatred,
Will someone save me,
Will someone hear me,
Will someone bring me back,
For I am afraid they cannot;
My Will bears me into place,
I'm gone forever through these chains,
The chains of horror,
While the stars watch down from their perch,
Nothing is ever for me,
The quest is not finished,
I will never find myself, again.
I am not so unique as I once thought I was to be,
I can't wait til someone will come to save me,
Destroy me from the inside,
I'm so tired of this essential creature called Life,
This calmness inside is not me as I boil upon the surface,
And I think I've destroyed my perfect chance at peace,
This pain so bearable, though I cannot feel it,
I am truly lost within myself,
For I am no longer as my body walks upon this planet,
Now, am I?
Have I really dessicated my own soul,
To live like this,
I am nothing.

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16809338/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16809338/ Sun, 10 Feb 2008 00:15:45 PST [link]
Second, all my comments are within parenthesis and not reflecting on anyone else and are my modification to this thing not to mention what I remember and stuff.

You're a 90's kid if:

You remember watching:
-Doug (I saw a few episodes, it was nothing terribly special; no offense to anyone.)
-Ren & Stimpy
-Pinky and the Brain
-AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
-Rockos modern Life.
-Animaniacs
-Gargoyles (I wasn't supposed to watch that, but I'd end up watching it anyway....)

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!" (Hehehehh...I got it from my step-brother, and he and I were kids.)

You just cant resist finishing this . . . "in west Philadelphia born and raised . . ."

You remember:
-Step by Step
-Family Matters!!!
-Dinosaurs
-Boy Meets World!!!! (Oh nooo, spare me, please! My step-mom and dad used to watch that on, what channel was it, Nickelodeon or Disney, when they had Cable?)

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons. (*Cough cough* I still do that. *Cough cough*)

You remember reading "Goosebumps" (I've read three, and they were AWESOME! Okay one wasn't but was by the same author, and I have that one, but the Goosebumps books were my step-brother's....)

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not (Only so I can say something without lieing. And I don't often do it, anyway. And I do it under my breath.)

When everything was settled by:
-rock paper scissors or
-bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or
-ms. mary mack

when kick ball was a daily activity.

when we used to obey our parents (Uh, when was that?)

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape.

You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.

You remember The Original Game Boy.

You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny. (Yeah, AND I didn't have anything to tape anything with, anyway!!)

You remember watching:
-The Magic School Bus (That used to be one of my favourite shows!)
-Wishbone (Such cool stories... Y_Y")
-Reading Rainbow (Hey, I like that show!!)
-and Ghostwriter on PBS

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books. (I've read a couple of those; they're cool.)
You remember eating Warheads and Splashers Gum. (Ew, Warheads, they changed the recipe or something, they taste so nasty now...)

You remember watching:
-the 1st Batman (On TVLand, booyah!)
-Aladdin (Heeey, the Genie's funny!!)
-Ninja Turtles (Started watching that at about 14, but I like all the seasons the same except that they keep changing the frigging history of the Turtles and the way May looks...)
-ghost busters

You remember Ring Pops. (I still eat those when I can find them. They're fun.)

If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

You remember boom boxes .vs. cd players.

Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.

You played and/or collected "Pogs"

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.

one word. . . . . . . .trolls. (My step-brother had a few at one point in time, but I kept stealing them....)

Windows 95 was the best.

You watched the original cartoons of
-Rugrats (Wasn't supposed to watch it, but I did, and I agree with Mom: they're bratty.)
-Wild Thornberry's (Wasn't suposed to watch that either and yet I still did, and even I know "stupid parent smart kid" doesn't work that way unless the kid is a genius and the parents aren't.)
-Power Rangers (I like the Gold Ranger teh best, I think! I think I was about 12 when I started watching that...sheesh they took forever ending the series, and they kept pulling the golden ranger back and forth between good and evil and killing him off and keeping him alive. Sheesh. I eventually stopped watching it and keeping track of it....)
-Rocket Power. (I've seen a few episodes, not that big of a deal, no offense...)

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.

You collected those Beanie Babies.

Carebears (Is there something inherently WRONG with them?!? I like 'em -- though my personality is more like Grouchy Bear's, Mom says... ^_^")

Lambchop's song never ended. (OMG I LOOOOOOV... ]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16485407/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16485407/ Mon, 21 Jan 2008 06:30:32 PST
EDIT: I'm not good at memorizing usernames all the time, most of them I keep forgetting, and I usually just refer to you as "my friend" or I'll say "and my other friend" if I'm talking about more than one, so would you pweeeeeeese help me out and Note me? I only remember a few usernames, and those were weird already *no offense intended, I'm just saying they're not like normal names in rl, but that's a good thing. Weird is good! I am weird - wheee! But anyways....* Pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese? T__T With ice-cream and chocolate? T__T And a dozen cherries on top? T__T I feel so stupid for only half-noticing that before (that could mean one of two things: I knew it was there and forgot not to mention forgot to un-check-mark the "Friends" boxes for those I'm DeviantWatching because I like their stuff, or I knew there was a friends list and didn't realize I could un-check-mark the friends thing. I'm to groggy from waking up to think straight anyway.)

*Listening to my "Game Time" playlist on WMA, on my computer though I'm using papa's, the headphones are next to me....or not. Turn's out my brother's gonna play Quake II, oh well, I did tell him he could play it on my computer when this one's busy.... >_>;;;

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16259421/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16259421/ Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:52:20 PST 2.consumed alcohol. (Yummy)
3.slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex. (Only masturbation - no bed.)
4.slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex. (No sex, no bed.)
5.kissed someone of the same sex. (Yep.)
6.had sex.
7.had someone in your room other than family. (I was a kid, and showing off my toys.)
8.watched porn. (Oh yeah.)
9.bought porn.
10.done drugs.
TOTAL: 6

1. taken painkillers. (I was a kid and I'd nearly sprained my ankle!)
2. taken someone else's prescription medicine.
3. lied to your parents. (Who hasn't?!?)
4. lied to a friend. (A few times...and I'm NOT proud of it!!)
5. snuck out of the house.
6. done something illegal.
7. cut yourself.
8. hurt someone. (Yes....But I've been hurt, too.)
9. wished someone to die. (Of course.)
10. seen someone die.
TOTAL: 5

1. missed curfew.
2. stayed out all night.
3. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself.
4. been to a therapist.
5. been to rehab.
6. dyed your hair.
7. received a ticket.
8. been in an accident.
9. been to a club.
10. been to a bar
TOTAL: 0 (Hahah everyone.)

1. been to a wild party.
2.been to a Mardi Gras parade.
3.drank more than four beers in a night.
4.had a spring break in Florida.
5.sniffed anything.
5. wore black nail polish.
6. wore arm bands.
7. wore t-shirts with band names.
8.listened to rap.
9.owned a 50 Cent CD.
TOTAL: 0 (Neener neener, blaaaah. )

1. dressed gothic.
2. dressed prep.
3. dressed punk.
4. dressed grunge.
5. stole something.
6. been too drunk to remember anything.
7. blacked out.
8. fainted.
9. had a crush on a neighbor. (Sure.)
TOTAL: 1

1. snuck into someone else's room. (My Sister liked to have my stuff there occasionally.)
2. had a crush on your friend. (Internet friend[s].)
3. been to a concert.
4. dry-humped someone.
5. been called a slut. (I answered the phone, one word, and the guy hung up.)
6. called someone a slut.
7. installed speakers in your car.
8. broken a mirror. (I knocked it over by accident. ^^")
9. showered at someone of the opposites sex's house.
10. brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush.
TOTAL: 4

1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.
2. seen an R-rated movie in theater.
3. cruised the mall.
4. skipped school.
5. had surgery.
6. had an injury.
7. gone to court .
8. walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping. (Heheh we were out of money.)
9. caught something on fire. (Matches...candles...paper in the sink...)
10. lied about your age.
TOTAL: 1

1. owned/rented an apartment.
2. broke the law in the police's presence (I rode without a bicycle helmet, ooh.)
3. made out with someone who had a gf/bf.
4. got in trouble with the police.
5. talked to a stranger (Polite "hi"s and "merry christmas"s and "happy new years" and stuff, or in VL then yes.)
6. hugged a stranger.
7. kissed a stranger.
8. rode in the car with a stranger.
9. been harassed. (Brothers do that.)
10. been verbally harassed. (Brothers do that.)
TOTAL: 4

1. met face-to-face with someone you met online.
2. stayed online for 5 hours straight. (Mwhahahahaaaa....)
3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.
4. watched TV for 5 hours straight. (Mwhahahaaaa....)
5. been to a fair. (FUN FUN!! )
6. been called a bad influence.
7. drink and drive.
8. prank-called someone. (Yeah, yeah, I was a kid...who hasn't?!)
9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex. (Yeah, he and I watched a movie.)
10. cheated on test
TOTAL: 5

Grand Total: 26

-If you have less then 10... write [I'm a goody goody]
-If you have more then 10... write [I'm still a goody goody]
-If you have more then 20... write [I'm average]
-If you have more then 30... write [I'm a bad kid]
-If you have more then 40... write [I'm a bad influence]
-If you have more then 50... write [I'm a horrible person ]
-If you have more then 60... write [I should be in jail]

Heh...heheh...T_T"...
...Well, I did count things from when I was a kid, too...@_@"



```````````````````````````````````````````````
It was too long to fit under "L... ]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16259403/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16259403/ Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:51:02 PST 2.consumed alcohol. (Yummy)
3.slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex. (Only masturbation - no bed.)
4.slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex. (No sex, no bed.)
5.kissed someone of the same sex. (Yep.)
6.had sex.
7.had someone in your room other than family. (I was a kid, and showing off my toys.)
8.watched porn. (Oh yeah.)
9.bought porn.
10.done drugs.
TOTAL: 6

1. taken painkillers. (I was a kid and I'd nearly sprained my ankle!)
2. taken someone else's prescription medicine.
3. lied to your parents. (Who hasn't?!?)
4. lied to a friend. (A few times...and I'm NOT proud of it!!)
5. snuck out of the house.
6. done something illegal.
7. cut yourself.
8. hurt someone. (Yes....But I've been hurt, too.)
9. wished someone to die. (Of course.)
10. seen someone die.
TOTAL: 5

1. missed curfew.
2. stayed out all night.
3. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself.
4. been to a therapist.
5. been to rehab.
6. dyed your hair.
7. received a ticket.
8. been in an accident.
9. been to a club.
10. been to a bar
TOTAL: 0 (Hahah everyone.)

1. been to a wild party.
2.been to a Mardi Gras parade.
3.drank more than four beers in a night.
4.had a spring break in Florida.
5.sniffed anything.
5. wore black nail polish.
6. wore arm bands.
7. wore t-shirts with band names.
8.listened to rap.
9.owned a 50 Cent CD.
TOTAL: 0 (Neener neener, blaaaah. )

1. dressed gothic.
2. dressed prep.
3. dressed punk.
4. dressed grunge.
5. stole something.
6. been too drunk to remember anything.
7. blacked out.
8. fainted.
9. had a crush on a neighbor. (Sure.)
TOTAL: 1

1. snuck into someone else's room. (My Sister liked to have my stuff there occasionally.)
2. had a crush on your friend. (Internet friend[s].)
3. been to a concert.
4. dry-humped someone.
5. been called a slut. (I answered the phone, one word, and the guy hung up.)
6. called someone a slut.
7. installed speakers in your car.
8. broken a mirror. (I knocked it over by accident. ^^")
9. showered at someone of the opposites sex's house.
10. brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush.
TOTAL: 4

1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.
2. seen an R-rated movie in theater.
3. cruised the mall. (??)
4. skipped school.
5. had surgery.
6. had an injury.
7. gone to court .
8. walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping. (Heheh we were out of money.)
9. caught something on fire. (Matches...candles...paper in the sink...)
10. lied about your age.
TOTAL: 2

1. owned/rented an apartment.
2. broke the law in the police's presence (I rode without a bicycle helmet, ooh.)
3. made out with someone who had a gf/bf.
4. got in trouble with the police.
5. talked to a stranger (Polite "hi"s and "merry christmas"s and "happy new years" and stuff, or in VL then yes.)
6. hugged a stranger.
7. kissed a stranger.
8. rode in the car with a stranger.
9. been harassed. (Brothers do that.)
10. been verbally harassed. (Brothers do that.)
TOTAL: 4

1. met face-to-face with someone you met online.
2. stayed online for 5 hours straight. (Mwhahahahaaaa....)
3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.
4. watched TV for 5 hours straight. (Mwhahahaaaa....)
5. been to a fair. (FUN FUN!! )
6. been called a bad influence.
7. drink and drive.
8. prank-called someone. (Yeah, yeah, I was a kid...who hasn't?!)
9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex. (Yeah, he and I watched a movie.)
10. cheated on test
TOTAL: 5

Grand Total: 27

-If you have less then 10... write [I'm a goody goody]
-If you have more then 10... write [I'm still a goody goody]
-If you have more then 20... write [I'm average]
-If you have more then 30... write [I'm a bad kid]
-If you have more then 40... write [I'm a bad influence]
-If you have more then 50... write [I'm a horrible person ]
-If you have more then 60... write [I should be in jail]

Heh...heheh...T_T"...
...Well, I did count things from when I was a kid, too...@_@"



```````````````````````````````````````````````
It was too long to fit und... ]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16213312/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16213312/ Tue, 01 Jan 2008 19:37:10 PST
]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16172467/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16172467/ Sun, 30 Dec 2007 19:55:47 PST
1) To have an Adventure, the kind I want.
2) To solve a mystery.
3) TO LOSE WEIGHT!! I HATE BEING CHUBBY!! >_<"
Oh, and number four: to get rid of my cold, lolz. Ew, more fresh garlic...speaking of which, last night, I put a whole clove in my mouth to try and finish it sooner. What ended up happening was that by the third bite, I was screaming with my mouth full, "Milk! Milk! I put the whole thing in my mouth!"

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16133480/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16133480/ Fri, 28 Dec 2007 05:46:18 PST WOO-HOO!!! Okay sorry if anyone had to read that....I'm just getting out all of my excitement by posting something here before I go run in circles with happiness. Er...I forgot the poem now. Oh well.

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16121253/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/16121253/ Thu, 27 Dec 2007 09:28:54 PST Light is pounded through chains under the darkness of the days,
The bloody whispers cry throughout the night for beauty and power.
Do the best that you can,
But no hero arises,
And when one does, who can say he will not be a deceiver?
Broaden your mind and take to heart all of your abilities,
Locking within doors your cares and worries,
Who will ever show us a way out?
Surely the God to whom we freely lend our hopes and dreams,
To whom we freely give our freedom and choices;
Certainly not the Devil who would takes our freedom, hopes and dreams,
Crushing them within the most horrible way possible.
Be still, are we not chained to our freedoms?
But still, do our selfishness control ourselves?
To give up freedom, and either way we must,
A terrible choice, but no out to the decision.
I find I cannot make up my mind;
Rather I would wish it taken from me, so I would not have to choose,
Then of course I would wish to choose for myself, for in that is part of the freedom.
What shall I do?
I cannot simply follow others 'til the end of my days!
I cannot say always 'You choose for me'
For in that, I would still be giving away my freedom.
Now what?
For I am torn by this decision, and choose not to think about it...
And for once, I'm writing a poem about myself....
How incredibly selfish of me, yet again....

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/14051671/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/14051671/ Mon, 06 Aug 2007 22:40:58 PDT Touch the Earth and Fly,
Death's Beauty enlighten me,
Life's Deformation guide me,
Darkened winds do not share my fragile soul of infidelity,
Essences of Black Roses share your fragrance of immunity with me,
Moons of Sorrows please cast not your light upon me.
Winders of might and fantasies of dreams,
Broken pride and diminished trust sew me together,
Heroes come and Heroes fall,
Fading into the shadows of another,
The stars shoot down upon the familiarity of injustice,
Feathers float down tearing us all apart while our Creator stands laughing.
This heavy rain of depression has created bogs of sunken dreams,
And can we that trip with them be rescued?
Heartbroken and waiting for the sunrise we cloth our hearts in misty veils of protection,
Loneliness oozes through our every pour so we drown in sin,
Walking away too soon while out of sight out of mind.
What is left here for us?
Letting our emotions run without halter or leash,
Blaming everybody else,
We are crying in the rain but nobody knows as they emerse in Music to escape the emotional pain,
Then tell everybody else to get a life.
Whatever happened to Romeo and Juliet,
To the lost pure love that captured our attentions so heartily?
Tell me again how you are so used,
As you walk to the next problem with fake smiles of perfect disorder,
We're falling down the rabbit hole and nobody's paying attention,
Too busy wrapped in themselves,
You moan, you scream, you lie, you cheat,
Then say how nothing is your fault and everything happens to you,
Take a look around at this shattered world everyone is trapped inside,
You're a part of it too and can't escape your duty.
What have we left as modesty, virtuousity, and purity circle down the drain soon to be gone forever?
We're alone but together, make you use of this,
Learn your lesson before you're left behind,
Make it a little bit better place for everybody.
Say that you're not need as you break more hearts,
Troubling those following,
Soon you're going to be alone if you don't turn away from these troubles and onto a new leaf,
Teamwork is an essence of life badly needed as we all talk about ourselves,
We can turn this trashed playground into a garden uncompared if we all band together,
Because we all share the world.

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/14051493/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/14051493/ Mon, 06 Aug 2007 22:21:30 PDT I touched the earth and saw you fly,
Wings of destruction have carried me to the path that I must follow
Life's deformation please guide me surely,
Death's beauty please enlighten me to the solving of troubles of this way;
Darkened Essences of Black Roses share your fragrance of mythic strength.
Wearing the cloak of anger and clothed with fear,
Unable to turn away I begin my journey of life on the trail before me,
Smitten desires that trust has whispered as thoughts into my ears,
Oaks of determination have hidden me and
Fading winds of heart have caressed me.
To find my trueness in the transparent chest of mind,
I must journey through life;
I hold the key of tears in one hand while the other holds my sword of defense.
I wear the shoes that shall let me dance to my own fate,
Weaving the troubles and memories into my own destiny,
Nobility will surely be mine;
Moons of sorrows cast your light not upon me,
Misty veils of protection do not close upon my emotion of love,
Pandora's Box why must you have been opened?
Misery contemplates it's next move,
My happiness of fake smiles has grown short so quickly,
Waerily I notice the words of forked bitterness fly like foaming spittle from the mouth settled upon my head,
Sugary sweetness of pain as smooth as honey can't you come closer,
Make me feel guilty so that I must emerse myself in more guilt to feel better?
Stuck in cages of mental capacity,
Heartbroken I listen to the hummingbirds,
Fading stars decline to the Sun in unspoken deference and still I don't care,
My stupidity has led me this far, I won't let go of it,
The Judgement passes even before birth is made.
Waiting for the moment I am needed again,
I take step after step forward to find yet another bend in the road hidden by a fog of years,
What is around it, anything better?
My life is not yet bad enough,
How much more do I have to go through?
The road turns bumpy as I wish I had never opened my mouth,
Ruts trip me and I fall into a bog of sunken dreams,
You want me to follow your lead but you've hurt me enough already,
You've lost control and
Won't this short-cut take me off the trail?
I feel like Red Riding Hood and you're the big bad wolf,
You can huff and you can puff but you'll just be wasting breath now,
Because I have deafened my ears to your words and blinded my eyes to your sight,
This inattention has caught you off-guard.
The sky lightens and you still stand with mouth wide open,
You need others' lives take orbit around you but it won't happen anymore,
I have better things to do.
Now maybe my words have reached you as they bleed through this paper,
But your ego is like a hot-air balloon lifting you into space and beyond as you drive your anger into my brain,
But it's not reaching;
Your last chance is falling down the rabbit hole and you ate the cookies but now you're the Queen of Hearts,
In your eyes I am a card that painted your roses white but I'm really Alice,
Solved the mystery and now you want me punished,
You have no control over me as I run.
Turn my key into the lock and I am free of you,
So I'll watch you go with a smile on my face so different than before,
I'll pick my own future and you won't be in it,
I've locked the door with you left in the room,
I see you infuriated but not able hurt me anymore,
And through the keyhole I see others' keys appearing as they leave you behind,
By yourself maybe you'll think next time before you hurt someone,
But you'll never learn your lesson as you grip your ego tighter,
Seeing us as ants but not realizing where you're headed,
Let go before you have a bigger fall,
But you won't listen and soon you'll have nothing,
I told you the meaning but you disregard it haughtily,
And I turn away as you fly higher.

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13926928/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13926928/ Mon, 30 Jul 2007 16:00:12 PDT

Edit: My Mom says it's not a phobia.

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13769723/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13769723/ Tue, 17 Jul 2007 12:24:05 PDT
DO YOU LIKE ANIMALS?
Yep.

HAVE YOU EVER MET AN ONLINE FRIEND IN PERSON?
Umm....just a friend who I already knew in RL.

ARE YOU ATHLETIC?
Uh, NO.

ARE YOU THIN, FAT, ATHLETICALLY BUILT ETC...?
None of your beeswax.

HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH?
Why do you care? --.--

HOW TALL ARE YOU?
I'm not exactly sure...

SHOE SIZE?
I don't care to say.

GIRLS: ARE YOU PREPPY, TOMBOYISH, POPULAR ETC...?
Just weird, I guess. Or so people would call me if I actually listened for one second.

HOW OLD ARE YOU?
Sixteen.

WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Never mind.

DO YOU LIKE TO RECIEVE GIFT ART?
What is "gift art"?

ARE YOU SOCIABLE?
*Smirks* Depends on what you mean by "sociable"....Shy in crowds? Yes. ....Easily angered? Also yes. Not that it makes a good mix, but oh well.

DO YOU HAVE MANY FRIENDS?
Many over the internet *YAY-zers! *
Four in RL *Coolios! XD*

WHAT IS YOUR RACE?
Take a guess! So far as we know it, only the Human race exists!

DO YOU LIKE TO TALK ON THE PHONE?
Not really....I'm a regular chatterbox,but when I'm on the phone there's usually a lull or more (depending on how long the conversation lasts) in the conversation...

ARE YOU SINGLE, OR TAKEN?
That...is really my buisness.

DO YOU EAT MEAT?
I'm not a vegetarian, if that's what you're asking.

ARE YOU PARANOID?
Depends. On you.

DO YOU READ A LOT?
That depends on what I'm reading...

WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Hard rock, heavy metal, Enya....and apparently learning to sing to CHANGE THE WORLD by V6 *embarrassed*

DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
How about my voice?

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DRAWING?
Hmm....that depends on what you mean by "drawing". Sure, I can't draw well but I started using paint and crayons and pencils and pens when I was, like, eight? I can't draw, unless you're talking about abstract art....

MEANING OF LIFE?
Meaning of life? Hmm...now isn't that an interesting question? Well, let's see:

1) To show a certain someone what it's like to be a scared kid...
2) To learn fighting and make that my carreer (well actually that's a dream, but as no one needs Warriors it'll never happen and I wish I was a Warrior but even if the world needed Warriors I wouldn't be able to be one). And to have Adventures and Battles!!!!
3) To lead and to learn.
4) To find out myself who I am and what I will be.
5) To write.
6) To strenthen myself, mind and body, and try hard to do so even when I don't freakin' know how to....
7) To learn to not be violent.
8) To learn to draw....and to dream once again....and to watch/read every single Anime I can!!!
9) To listen to Music.
10) To listen to my mind and heart (whatever that means...it just sounded good.)
11) To cry? To not be a crybaby...
12) Find "home" (I place where I feel that I won't be 'weird'
13) To care.
14) To forgive whom I hate (1 person, not a friend of mine definitely).
15) To stop people from dieing.
16) To help others.
17) To cause pain, hate and destruction, and betrayal.
18) To find out the meaning of death...
19) To find that someone to master my heart? Not that I made any sense...what I mean is this: to find someone that my life revolves around?
20) ....To find out the true meaning of life, not the bunch of crap that I spew which feels right to say....


I HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO: Lies by Evanescence, If Everyone Cared by Nickleback, Don't Dream It's Over by Sixpence None The Richer, Awake by Godsmack, Invincible by Pat Benetar, CHANGE THE WORLD by V6 (and I think a couple of other songs, too....)

I SHALL BE TAGGING MY FRIENDS!!! MWAHAHAHAAA!!! LOOOOLZ!!!

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13715426/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13715426/ Fri, 13 Jul 2007 02:07:54 PDT Never be strong enough to flee,
Stand in fear while
Defeat's hunger recently does gorge upon my adamant defiance,
This will (never) end?
Too big to dream, but
Too little to believe.
Shadow of endings come closer,
Bring new meanings,
Burn my thoughts of tears whilst I face,
Who is there?
Essences Within Darkened Roses,
Bring your fragrance here,
Let this earth decay,
Because I can't care,
Let this forgotten dream end,
Sorrows and shame begotten to the turn of time.
Guilt overcomes me for when I cry
I have no reason to feel this way.
Sand and water flowing through the drain of life,
Creating mud to stick people in place,
Pull harder pull faster,
Keep moving through the muck of unhappiness.
Seed of displeasure stay,
Run your course through my garden,
Set the sword aflame and let fly the ever-reckless tongue,
Fear diminishes with the rising tide,
Carrying away all care and doubts,
Timidity on the line.
Wonder if the season passing notice the dilemmas of this forsaken race,
Rushing through the year as though they have somewhere to go,
Or lingering as if they wish to create discomfort.
I'll never be good enough,
Accepting that and moving on,
Somebody just stab me,
Why am I not fighting this?
Struggle on and burn deep through the canyon of privacy,
Never mattered anyway?
So many questions with limited answers,
Too much knowledge all too soon, unforgivingly sent deep inside this sea of loneliness.
Appraising the difference between life and death our philosophers in their tireless debates
Just don't bring them the news of war.
Toast on bread with butter like
Honey with flies like
Fighting for a chance to speak my mind uncontested.
Pleasurable disdain courses through my thoughts like a fundamental sin
What can be said but that emotional discord reigns through my body like paper in a helicopter's wings?
Let ink bleed through this paper,
Show what could be
Could have been
But no because ignorance is bliss.
Never confident enough and so hearts are thoroughly captured by the yawning black hole.
Told you not to play by that fountain,
Now the parasites are leaked,
What can (we) do?
Stretch past the high oblivion,
Wreak a little havoc here and there,
Doesn't matter because everyone does it,
Don't forget to jump off a cliff if they do it too.
Walking away, my head is weighing heavily upon my shoulders,
Depression is come and time to sleep,
Try to escape the transitions of abnormalty throughout this world,
"Mr. Sandman give me a dream."

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13669633/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13669633/ Sat, 21 Jul 2007 21:10:09 PDT
Heroes created and heroes fall,
In this bordering on imaginary realm anything can happen,
But when a boy who's crushed dreams rises to the climax,
Control he takes and heroes disappear;
For him no heroes, and so for us no heroes,
When it comes to him it must all be about him.
Ready to see others fall as he once did,
Trouble he creates,
Then on to escape his punishment.
When he has driven far enough,
When he has entered the world of imagination,
Or the realm of the heroes,
Once again he will fall, it is inevitable,
And so he drags others down with him.
All see this boy through the eyes of need,
While the mind asks "Why?"
He will cry to recieve pity,
Beg for love,
Yet when it's asked of him,
He will only loan.
Why?
Tired of him we all may be,
Yet he has not fallen again,
When will it happen?
Now I have been strong by not fearing this boy anymore,
Albeit I have already lost my timidity,
I will wait until he falls,
That I wonder to be correct whilst I understand it is truth,
When will I no longer be a crybaby?
I see these are poems I constantly create,
Thought to have moved on but now I see I was wrong,
What am I going to do?
Self-pity and determination,
I believed to have both but what good will they do me?
What is there to believe in that will not fail sometime?
Ability may be everything,
But nobody has all-ability,
Not even God who cannot affect free will.
Sad but not crying,
Angry but all bottled up,
Happiness seemingly only surface deep,
Trying to be someone else but only being the guilt that is me,
What can I do?
Nothing, I can do nothing...
I want someone to help but I will always reject help,
Dealing with this myself but failing to understand it,
Why do I do this to myself?
Faltering in the line of joy,
Childish imperfections only now showing through,
Which I am now too old for,
Because to be a teenager is to be serious and understanding,
But no one understands me because I will not explain to them.

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13636837/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13636837/ Sat, 21 Jul 2007 21:13:33 PDT Like a poison through the earth it comes,
Attempting the destruction of all the living;
Upon this world there is but one escape,
The dreams that you lie awake thinking of,
Crushed always as this day and tomorrow passes on....
What is wrong with the people,
That they run wihtout moving,
Break the chains of fate unwillingly,
Think only of the wonders to behold past the threshold of care....
So many dreams lieing on the ground,
People walking around like there's nothing,
Can't you see this evil that's spreading?
One look through this monster's eyes and they all fall down,
Too afraid to stand for themselves
Why must you do it for them?
What is to happen now,
I will stand by the sidelines,
I will watch,
I will interfere not for the benefit of the weak....
I will not fall prey to tears any longer,
Trapping myself within my hidden heart,
But I will nto stand for them either,
Let them grow legs to carry themselves,
A backbone to support themselves,
A mouth to speak for themselves,
A mind to think for themselves....
I will be on the sidelines,
I will be watching,
I will not do anything for them or for that monster called Evil,
Bored and silent I will ignore everything telling me,
That is if I must,
Come stand with me by the sidelines....
Let the others join us if they have free will to do it for themselves,
I will be here,
Where will you be?

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13499972/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13499972/ Tue, 26 Jun 2007 14:56:19 PDT Wide berth for the coming waves of destruction,
Lte's see this earth prove itself fine as we jump around in Chaos,
Destroying what we carry on!
Do this for the Love,
Do this for the Comfort,
Do this for the Joy,
Thaty all of Mankind may feel when we bloat our selfish desires,
See the politions fight over things so simple,
Let the public vote for those to control their lives,
Can't we live our own?!
Do we really need someone else to tell us how to live our lives,
Do this for the Love,
Do this for the Comfort,
Do this for the Joy,
As we join our egotistical journies.
Let all things be new,
But the same old is that we're too scared to lie our lives without someone telling us what to do.
Do this for the Love,
Do this for the Comfort,
Do this for the Joy,
Let our true natures be shown as we run headlong into havoc,
Let the wars reign 'cause we're not there,
Turn the page,
Do this for the forgotten Dreams!

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13432214/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/13432214/ Tue, 26 Jun 2007 17:52:59 PDT When all of this Mankind are sorrowed,
Wrapped in opinions strapped down to the core,
Swaying and changing in the breeze of society;
Some warped,
And yet only to the opinion of others,
For yes this is a place, a country, a universe, created of all opinions.
Dreams that die and screams resounding soundlessly,
Burning bridges of love and harmony,
Brightly shining hope dieing for nothing,
All that we have lost and regained,
Forever more shalt be buried into the sand of memories.
Trust and faith, belief and emotional suicides,
Harbingers of joy and fatigue,
All that is wont and forever destroyed;
Casualty in the face of utter unredeemable defeats,
Triumph in the glory of others' dank mental prisons,
Calls between past and present Romeos and their Juliets,
Black ribbons tied to pure white corsages,
Configurations of condemned plots,
Drawing ever nearer to the overly simple concept,
A plan of world domination, just hanging in the ethereal balance of life,
Demurring to the natural instincts of plain justice falling apart to desire and greed,
Exchanging knowledge for the much needed power above all.
Within the absence of truth there can only be lies,
And within the absence of chivalry only destruction may come,
Bearing down upon us like the towering tiers of broad leadership
Fueled by mere anger at the fine tumult created by those in our places of politics.
Yet who are we to judge,
The meek falling to the world's new order,
Where power easily makes right?
Who are we to refuse,
When money clouds even the decisive faces of the Righteous,
The Holy and the Protectors of Justice?
When thoughts of darkness comfort the minds of those in our beloved race?
Forsaken are the days when Man thought to be merely kind to all strangers,
Not mislaiden and weaving the spiders' nest of deception themselves,
Returned are the primal days,
Covered with the mist of illusion calling itself civility,
New to the centuries used of helping even the farthest stranger come close.
People rise and fall;
Claim to be heroes or villains when usually it is the opposite,
Yet when they fall back and die,
Eternally resting until Judgement Day,
Our beautifully built culture falls back upon itself to wishes of havoc,
Crying when the ball drops and they recieve the same,
For when all is said and done....
....Even the most innocent child may be a monster at heart.

]]> ~GoldRain http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/12284529/ http://GoldRain.deviantart.com/journal/12284529/ Thu, 22 Mar 2007 13:46:51 PDT


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..................... - is this for something specific, or just general stuff?
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]]> ~GoldRain