http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Himoru&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Himoru en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 20 Dec 2009 14:10:26 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/8717642/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/8717642/ Tue, 09 May 2006 06:09:43 PDT ___< I wanna learn how to do it too! But I heard that u need to have photoshop for that mess. But that's not gonna stop me! XD I'm gonna still try and see if I can do!!! I WILL! I CAN!!! (~^___^)~ GO ME!!!! ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/8588075/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/8588075/ Wed, 26 Apr 2006 03:24:20 PDT Ricky:
• Wise guy

Derek:
• Russian dude

Ianna:
• Li-ge’s mother

Julie:
• Li ge’s father
• Narrator

Li-ge:
• Main character(played as Li-ge)

“Hmm, this story takes place not too long ago…A story about love, tragedy, and revenge. A story simply called…KILL”

KILL

Li-ge’s father: Fool!
Li-ge’s mother: My husband, lower your voice.
Li-ge’s father: Not forgivable!!!
Li-ge’s mother: You will only be heard by deaf ears. For our son is not here.
Li-ge’s father: In the plus of day and the negative of day. He plays like child, soon he will take over the family line!
Mother: You worry on little things…let them pass and soon disappear. Along with your pass worrys.
Mother: Worrys are not needed no more.
Father: maybe…

::Li-ge enters the room::

mother: my son! Give a many embraces.
Mother: Come, come, we must talk of many things.
Father: Unnatural this is…sit in due greetings.
Father: Why my son left work to folly about?! You are heir of the Wan family, you are born in nobility.
Li-ge: One’s right has freedom---
Father: Foolishness! Such things mean nothing!
Li-ge: My rights---
Father: Your right are to carry the name of the Wan family and to fulfill your role!







lol this is just homework so don't worry about it! ^____^ ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/8492369/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/8492369/ Sun, 16 Apr 2006 18:22:44 PDT
My life isn't my own...I know that. But everyday it seems i only hurt the people around me. I don't want them to feel pain, i don't want to feel sad....I-I just don't want to be in pain anymore. I just wanted it to stop you know. But no matter where I go...it seems like am hurting somebody in the process and I hate that! But I still smile despite the way I feel....I smile for someone else, never for my self. Always for smile one else, hoping deep down inside a smiple smile can cheer up their day. A smile that can shine better then the sun.....But I don't have that. I wish I did....I wish I can do a lot of things.....but when I attemp to do it. People laugh at me for my ideas, just a dreamer...."Not everything is possible Julie." "But if you just try or even come up with something similiar then it is possible!" .....all I hear is laughter afterwards. Are my ideas that laughable? If only I-if only things were different....In a way i don't want things to be different to the point everybody will take in my ideals. If that was possible I'll be taking away everybody's feel will. Everybody has the right to voice out what they have to say....That's the natural freedom of all man! I don't care if the law say this or that......you were born with a voice for a reason even if it's just in your head, you have every right to speak.

Now after all of this do i have the right that I still long for death....yes I do. I live for others....for my sisters...my parents...my friends...and so forth. But in some way it's not true....no matter how many times I tell my self, I also live for my passion for art. My love and craving still drivs my til this day. The more I think about it art is every where I go...the pictures in my dreams the sound of brids outside my window....it's all art in another shape or form....it makes you want to give you life an extra drive a boost if you will. Something to cling onto, something to foreverlove. To love this earth and everything on it, that is my art. It's not just drawings or paint on a canvas, it's something more to that. Heh...I think it's life it's self.

Even if you don't see my point of view. everybody has their own way of seeing life....and I'm grateful for that! For some reason I can't stop crying as I type this down. Is love really that strong to bring one to such tears? Is anything that strong enough? I think I just answered my own question....yes it is....anything can be that strong enough.

You know what i want to wish for if I had just one wish.....just one wish...i only wish to love all for what everything is and to come from it... ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/7576439/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/7576439/ Wed, 11 Jan 2006 17:30:21 PST
Sorry bout that! Okay on to the lost story. After school I had an interview! I was soooo happy! Am finally getting a job at the crepe maker! I go home, got a ride from my sister to go to the mall for the interview and guess what I got the job! Then my phone rang, Of course I pick it up and started talking all the way to the bus stop. But the thing is...I didn't no that it was the wrong bus....~__~+

At first I was paying attention to my phone and the bus stop message thingy to tell which stop am on. Some time later, the bus diver saids that "Stop requested at 168 SW," and that's when I remembered that I lived in 152 st! Mind you....it's a few miles difference. I got off the bus and started walking and I called my sister! I didn't no where I was or was there any nearby signs. The olny lights were comeing from a distance across some wide open plain of dumped cars and garbage there. So my only choice was to cross it.
If theres lights that's where plp are at! It's was the most longest walk I ever took in my life, I had to climb over stuff to get by. I was saved! There was a store there and some plp there! I looked at the sign and it said 174 sw! I got even more farther away from home! I called my sister, who was laughing when she heard my *ahem* plight. I told her the street number and the store's name, and she told me to wait for her in the store. And I did....I waited and waited.
Plp(who worked there) were asking me if I was okay of something. I didn't want to say "I just got lost just like every other day, and by the way I don't no my address! Despite the fact I live here for how many yrs!?," So the only thing I said was that I was waiting for my sister, which is very true.

Awww, I was so happy when Judy(sister) called me back and she told me she was outside. I ran outside, got into the van and rode home. With Judy laughing at me and my dad waiting for me at home to give me anoter lecture every time I got lost(which is most of the time) TT____TT


I HAVE NO SENSE OF DIRECTION!!!!! ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/7308530/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/7308530/ Wed, 14 Dec 2005 10:25:47 PST Does anybody konw what the problem is? or isn't just me? ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/7087905/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/7087905/ Sat, 19 Nov 2005 10:10:36 PST ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/7064538/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/7064538/ Wed, 16 Nov 2005 14:44:56 PST
but anyways....I'll like to say thank you to everybody who has met me....and supported me by commenting, and adding my pics to their faves....Thank you!!!!

Without ya....I be nowhere right now...eventhough if you don't talk to me or go to my page anymore...I'm still grateful...and always will be grateful....Thank you so much. This means everything to me. ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6987783/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6987783/ Tue, 08 Nov 2005 06:25:34 PST
Now I really do hate wireless..... ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6796836/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6796836/ Mon, 17 Oct 2005 22:49:15 PDT I'm been troubled by thoughts, feelings from everybody else. Everything and evrybody I see before my eyes are some what selfish! Is it okay to feel this and go on with our lives? If so...even so....do I what to be this thing called "human"? Such feelings resides within us all. To feel narrow minded and troubled by these feelings....Why?! In the long run I feel limited within all this. Having such feelings only troubles me in everyday life. It just only makes my head hurt even more...I pay attention too much....I wish this feeling will go away. But I no wasteful wishing will not come by me. If my wish were to come true...then all man will disappear right before my eyes right?! Just disappear just like that along with everything. I feel doomed to live this life....this unknown thing that I still doubt til this day.

I only feel limited....no matter how much I think about are we as human trully different of the same?! Why do we judge others so easily?! Why...why are we like this?

It saddens me to think we are all the same. No matter how much we try to change ourselves, we shall always be the same....The same thought...feelings just like everybody else right? Arn't we all equals? Or is it an other pretty word so nobody can't be left out. I really do hate this feeling...with all my heart. It feels like am going to sufficate in my own sorrows, my wondering thoughts. I guess that's what makes us human right? To feel this way among yourself and among others. Because of that....I hate myself with every fiber within my being. I hate it....and yet I love all just the same....Is it true the more your love the more you hate? When you love something you become attach right? Once lost that attachment and equal amount of dispare takes it's place....is it possble not to feel hate like this. I feel to feelings residing with in me....no many feelings boiling within me. Everything is just to painful to bare....

If am truly limited than....does that make me human? Normal? I wish not to give myself false hope upon myself. So many things pass by me.....always at the end I wish for the worst to befall me so I won't have to think about this all.

All of this feel so troubling at times like these no one will listen to me.....if I did get someone to listen to me, it always turns out to be the same ALWAYS!
.....................They pity me or they just forget what I just said and never talk to me about it.
heh.... evening writing this now, makes me pity myself. Funny isn't it? I really do hate this about me. I look to deep, I get details upon details and make sure they fit into one big jig-saw puzzle.

Heh....all I do now is complain....I guess am just empty...and feel alone...alone I say? am not sure, abandoned....yes. Or is this another selfish act.....which makes me limited?

I am human after all....... ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6614226/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6614226/ Tue, 27 Sep 2005 06:23:25 PDT Sorry ya I've been out fot quite a while and it doesn't seem like I'll be back any time soon. I just wanted to say you no. So dont' feel angry at me! I should of put this thing up a while ago, but I didn't paid to much mind to it. ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6483162/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6483162/ Mon, 12 Sep 2005 06:34:02 PDT . I'm sorry everybody once again! I know I made lots of promises along the way. And ya guys are really angry at me right now because I haven't really done any of them. I know what I did was wrong and you guys have every right to hate me to the full exstant. The only person I blame here is myself and only my self. That's why...that's why I sending a sorry note right now...I'm sorry.... ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6318902/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6318902/ Wed, 24 Aug 2005 19:38:18 PDT
And plus....*drum roll* NO SCHOOL FOR 2 DAYS!!!!! HOLY JUNK N' CHIPS MAN THAT'S SUCH DA MA-HOTNESS!!!!

See ya soon! ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6253391/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6253391/ Wed, 17 Aug 2005 14:46:49 PDT ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6215390/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6215390/ Sat, 13 Aug 2005 10:28:18 PDT ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6152880/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6152880/ Sat, 06 Aug 2005 19:43:44 PDT

:sad: MY ANIME MY POOR POOR ANIME! ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6060025/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/6060025/ Thu, 28 Jul 2005 16:59:31 PDT ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/5964354/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/5964354/ Mon, 18 Jul 2005 01:22:58 PDT so don't worry about it.

]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/5938769/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/5938769/ Fri, 15 Jul 2005 02:31:59 PDT
I just wished so hard, for it not to happen again. And yet I ask my self everyday of my life: Why am I like this?

I have spent countless of hours trying so hard to become right....to become somebody that I can be prond of! And yet I still do nothing about it. I do nothing, but stand there and let life past me by. Everything moves so fast...plp change for the better or for the worst. If only my headaches were to disappear once again. That would so good right. But sadly it will return again like always.

Why am I like this?

I have no reason for why I am sad. I have no reason for my self, but for everybody else. I don't do things for myself but for everybody else! Why? Why....I don't no...maybe I do it because I wan to see other plp happy even if it hurts me so much at the end, even for own happyness! I believe that I'm here to make other plp happy. Even through I am lonely myself. I still think about other plp before me...Why? Why would go out of my way to do so many things to please others? Why am I like this?

What happen if all the plp around me were to become happy? If so, what will happen to me? Will I disappear and be forgotten? I don't know.....No matter how hard I try, I'm never noticed for who I am. not even in my family. I no I don't talk much, I no I don't have many friends....but I always left in the dark about everything. Why?

Not too long ago my sister left to the Marines in Cali, for 3 yrs. I missed her so much but every time she calls my phone...she always say to me...."Is anybody else home?" I felt so cushed like I wasn't important enough for my sister to talk too! She always talk to everybody else but never me. I was so hurt by her words without knowing. I wanted to see her so bad and hear her voice once more within the same room! Not over the phone! But she told me to past over the phone over to somebody else....I missed her so much. My other sister was a mother to me and my sisters! And still is! but she changed after she had brain surgery. I didn't no she had tumors appear all over her body when we were little! I didn't know my sister was was about to die when the doctors call at spring break! Saying something was eating away at my sister's spine! It was awful......My older sister was a mother to me and my 4 other sisters when we was little and still is now! But way won't she talk to me now! I love her so much! While my mother threw us away at a shelter...who was there for? My sister was! Even when my mother left us for 4 yrs when I was a child....every mothers day, I was ashamed to be born from my mother. Every time in elementry, when it was time to make mother's day gifts....my mom wasn't there to get one she was off gambling and drinking away with her friends or fulfilling one of her weird dreams....I always gave them to my father, but one day...I gave them to my sister. I was so happy! I could of told her everything! She was smart and everybody liked my older sister....I someday wanted to be just like her! but after her surgrey she was like a new person.....Do you wanna no why? Because she can't remember it. that's why...when I learned of this....it seemed she died in my memory. It was actually like she died. It was so hard and painful! I want my sister back! And yet she still doesn't talk to me.....even though I think for my sister to not to remeber the past is for the best, and she's happy! That's all that matter's right!?.... Then why, then why does it still hurt? Back then it was great to encounter the person who went through the same pain as you. Someone who you can relate to. But I guess that's all over.....I can't talk to my other sisters because I don't want them to be brother by the problems by the past again. I don't want them to go through it again. That's why they slowly forget what happened back then....everything. And so will my older sister.....That's why I say nothing anymore, to no body. And yet am I still the only one that still remebers? am I the only one in my family that still dwells in the past? It sure feels like it.

Why am I like this?

I give everybody reasoning expect for myself....maybe i am without reasoning. You know....sometimes I wish: What will happen if i had a loving mother who was there for us? What if we didn't have a poor childhood? What if their weren't kids who were kill in front of our door step was still alive and grew up? What... ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/5680852/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/5680852/ Fri, 17 Jun 2005 21:32:06 PDT

I'M SO HAPPY! I'M GONNA FLY TO CALI TO SEE MY BIG SISTER WHO'S IN DA MARINES!!!!!!!!!!!!


I haven't seen my sister in 3 yrs!!!!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!!! ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/5611915/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/5611915/ Fri, 10 Jun 2005 18:01:16 PDT
Even when plp think they have nothing at the end....but in reality there's always something to hold onto...to have faith in something! Wanting to hold it with your grasp in the plam of your hand....but it seems so far away....That's why plp try to achieve their goals in life, their dreams! What happens if it's all gone? Everything. Is one person only limited to one goal in life. Even though...even though in todays socailitiy doesn't need? Do we only set to serve our seleves and man alone? I wonder...and I still wonder. Is this the only thing that keeps us moving? Then without a goal or without a reason....What will happen to us? Nothing maybe? But all these plp...strangers to my eyes. Strive to be noticed. to be seem amoung the rest. Thus they set their hopes ...lives even on what they believe in!

They strive for their beliefs, even if it's not based on religon, nor the fact what they have been told all their lives...."not to do this, and not to do that." Something else...within everybody, sparks a light no matter how small or how big it is. Flickers...and yet still flickers without it's knowing of it's existince. And yet I still ponder on this too. What makes us get up every morning....because we had a bad dream, wanting to wake up from this nigthmare? Maybe a good dream prehapes...A dream so lovely, you just want to beam it out. To tell the whole world of ur wonderful dream! But what happens you dreamt of nothing? You just merely in darkness? consumed by everything....light and darkness it doesn't matter. The matter of emptyness. Does that mean your missing something out of the big picture in life or your acknowledgement has merely to waste?

And yet I still ponder on this day "why..." A word that's so abursed. We ask ourseleves that very question...The very utter of that word. Just hoping...just slowly hoping......just to get an answer. Even though it's not really a question. "Why do we reach up to the skies?" "Why do we have hopes and dreams?" "Why do we have feelings?" "Why is this all happening to me?"
Why we ask? hoping to get an unknown voice to answer this very word. but to only turn deaf ears when more problems arise. I think I know why...."I want to keep on living so plp can see me for whom i am!" "I want to be great!" "I want to feel, to feel life's ups and downs so I can feel life to it's fullest extent!" "I what all that's coming my way so I can learn from them...get stronger form them.....to get exp. from them!" No matter how short of a question it is. It can be always answered. Not by someone else, by yourself alone. You can only find the answers to all the question you been asking yourself "why am i here?" Simpily if you learn to listen. To a voice that you known from all your life. That voice that you always had...Even if your deaf or have an disease...or just lost it. Your voice is always been there to answer your own questions that you longed for to be answered. Plp can only guide other plp. Not give you answers. Thus....we shall always guide others......

When plp say "I wish this....and I wish for that..." Merely means the plp who say these very things. hasn't lived the life that they wanted too. That's why we wish for everything.... Once you lived the life that you are meant to live...You wouldn't mind if you suddenly just drop dead. Having no regret in life because you lived it to what sees fit.

We regert thus we constantly think about it or just push it in the back of our minds hoping to be forgotten or just merely just disappear before our eyes. We shouldn't regert things that happened to us....Even though it can be shameful......too unbearable to live with..Something to be bruied in the ground hoping that it'll never show it's ulgy head...something really ulgy. When we regert, things can only get worst. But what is there to regert? Everything has a cause and a effect. Things happen not because yours and not my fault....either way it was bond to happen...even though it wasn't your fault. Nobody is at fault here. Simpliy our past make us who we are. Murders, and everything else that plp do bad or good. All starts with life.....the things that they see, hear, feel, and exp. through it. Our surroundings makes us who we are. I'm sorry if my words doesn't mix well with others....but plz this is how I feel when I encounted everybody.....I'm not saying me meeting you by just words over the screen gave me the impression everybody is awful, mean, and etc....... ]]> ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/5349284/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/5349284/ Fri, 13 May 2005 16:19:38 PDT ~Himoru http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/5134998/ http://Himoru.deviantart.com/journal/5134998/ Tue, 19 Apr 2005 23:59:07 PDT Like for ex: when i was 15.....i was playing hide and go seek with my sisters in the front yard which isn't dat big at all! and my twin sister was catching up with me, then i turned the corner and kept on running....I looked back and i was like "ah ha! I must of lost her!" so i kept on walking forward so my sis won't catch up to me. So i was like "Okay! It's time turn back now...." when i looked around, I didn't know where I was at all! I couldn't even remember where i was, nor my phone number, nor my address! So was trying to find my way home for hours at a time walking in the middle of nowhere!!!!! So i ended up at the miami airport (7 miles away from my house)
I went to the person dat work there and said "Excuse sir am lost! I don't no where I'm at , nor my phone number and my address!" The guy just stared at me in shock. So he called the cop and asked him if he could help me. The cop asked me if i no me phone number, my address and etc.... and i said no. The cop smiled and started to laugh at me when he walked in the far corner. I felt so bad~ -_-+
Sooner or later in a hr or so. My dad came and picked me up. I was so happy!!!!!!! On the ride home my dad said "Julie! how could u not no ur phone number or address! Seriously ur turning 16 soon!"
then i said "Daddy do u no how long it took me to remember our address and phone number in New York!" (<----born and raised in NY.)
Later on that night we came home, and my sisters started laughing at me again....*sigh*.....And my mom and dad was actually considering buy me a collar with my name, address, and phone on it!

I felt so bad on dat day......
Dats when the phease:
"Forever Lost Julie"
Appeared in my head dat day.....

(I this get lost til' this day [even on skool grounds]) ]]> ~Himoru