deviantART: by:HoldingBackTears

deviantART: by:HoldingBackTears http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:HoldingBackTears&section=today deviantART RSS for by:HoldingBackTears en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 15 Dec 2009 09:21:12 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png Heaven help us. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28710384/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28710384/ Wed, 02 Dec 2009 13:45:07 PST Before I start, I must warn you that this journal is going to be extrememly opinionated.

Obama has finally admitted that he is a muslim. Do I have a problem with the muslim faith? Absolutely not. However, I do have a problem with the president of our country lying through his fucking teeth.
Obama will not wear the American flag pin on his chest, which has been costomary for politicians to do since September 11th. He claims that he does not like the overshadowing patriotism it shows. I'm sorry, Mr. President - you're running one of, if not THE most patriotic country in the world, and you refuse to wear our flag?
He also claims that America has become a muslim nation. To that, I say bullshit. He said "Let me speak as clearly, and as plainly as I can. America is not, and will never be at war with Islam." Where have you been the last few years, you lying bastard?
He BOWED down to a Muslim king. Something no other president has done to royalty of any kind. A nodded head is customary, for the women - a curtsy, but to bow before the king of a country which took the lives of our own . . . Did he bow before the queen of England? No. Did he bow before the leader of Russia? No. But he bows to a Muslim king.
He defends Islam 'til he's blue in the face.
What have we done? Who have we put into the most powerful seat in our country? Someone who has been lying to us from the beginning. I fear for us. I fear for my country, and I fear for my fellow Americans.
I want him out. America NEEDS him out. God, help us.

". . . I am one of them." Barack HUSSEIN Obama.

[link]

]]> ~HoldingBackTears HEY LOOK WHO HASN'T BEEN HERE IN FOREVER! http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28692336/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28692336/ Tue, 01 Dec 2009 14:24:43 PST I've been absent, as the majority of your probably didn't notice. I have SOOOOOOO many deviations to go through. I'm talking boat loads.
I'm sick as hell and I don't know why. I can't stop coughing to save my life, and I both look and feel like shit to be quite frank. Despite this, I don't plan to stop excersizing. Did I spell that right...? ANYWAY.
Every muscle in my body hurts like mad. Planet Fitness is totally kicking my fat ass. lol. But Shannon said that it looked like I got skinner, so if it's working I'll gladly go through the pain. :'D
It's my daddy's birthday today. I don't know what we're doing. I just hope we don't go someplace greasy and disgusting to eat . . . unless it's Outback Steakhouse. Then I don't mind. lol.
It's also one of my really good friend's birthdays. I haven't seen him in months and I miss him terribly. I also secretly like him - which is why you aren't getting his name. Because I suck like that. :]
Kiya is looking fan-freaking-tastic these days. She's almost to her goal weight, which is fabulous. She's my thinspiration. :]
I'm learning French, and I'm loving it. Don't try to hold a conversation with me, though. I'm nowhere near that far into it. lmao.

If for some odd reason you DID notice that I haven't been commenting your stuff, it's because I'm REALLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYY behind on my inbox, and I'm saving my comments soley for the things that I love. This way I can get my deviations all sorted through and go back to commenting everything like I normally do. :]]]

I love you guys! Send me some feelbetterjuice. lol.

Adieu, mes amours!

]]> ~HoldingBackTears COUGH COUGH JAYSON COUGH http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28459627/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28459627/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:02:06 PST

^{Don't stop, make it pop. DJ, blow my speakers up. Tonight Imma fight 'til I see the sunlight. Tick tock on the clock, but the party don't stop, no. Oh whoa oh whoa oh ohhhhhh.

lolol I LOOVVVEEEE that song. :'D

I'm hella bored and I have nothing to do. I haven't talked to Alex or anyone else in FOREVER and it's making me physically sick. :C
*COUGH COUGH JAYSON FIX YOUR IM COUGH COUGH*. Oh, dear. I must be coming down with the flu.

ANYWAY. I went to the gym for the second day in a row today. I hurt everywhere. lol. BUT THAT MEANS IT'S WORKING. :'D I lost two pounds in a day thanks to that place. Bless you, Planet Fitness. You rock my socks off.}

Graphics by *aishwaryakhan
CSS by =moonfreak

]]> ~HoldingBackTears JOYJOYHAPPYBLISSEXCITEDNESSJOY YAY! 8D http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28441513/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28441513/ Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:56:38 PST

^{ADAM LAMBERT'S ALBUM COMES OUT ON THE 23rd, YOU GUYS!!!!!
I found all of the songs on YouTube - ho mah gaw. Incredible he is. INCREDIBLE I TELL YOU!

I'll be at Wal-Mart by 11:59 pm on the 22nd. So if you see me in the music section, wave and say hi. Roll your eyes and laugh if you really want to, because I'll probably be bouncing exciedly and skipping through various departments with my CD craddled to my chest. Please ignore my big goofy fangirl smile - it always shows up when Adam is mentioned.

ON A LESS OBSESSIVE NOTE. I joined Planet Fitness today. I LOVE that place. I'm going to be working out with my aunt now. Working out is no fun when you do it by yourself. :C So now I have a work out buddy! :'D
Also, my nails are almost past the quick now. I really need to stop biting them.

OH HEY GUESS WHAT. I've decided that I'm going to take dance classes. What genre I'll be taking first - I haven't the slightest clue. I'll probably just decide on a whim once I go to enroll. lol

P.S. Watch this. White boy can DANCE. [link]
I promise you will not regret it. >:3}

Graphics by *aishwaryakhan
CSS by =moonfreak

]]> ~HoldingBackTears O' Christmas tree, o' Christmas tree..... http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28281115/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28281115/ Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:37:19 PST

^{Why've you been in stores since Octoberrrrrrrr?
lmfao. Just thought I'd throw that one out there.

Christmas is almost here! You know what that means? Huh? Do ya, do ya, do ya??? COLD WEATHER HURRAY! As soon as the radio starts playing Christmas music, I'll be in heaven.
Christams also means lots of food, and that means serious temptations. SO. I promised myself I wouldn't gain an ounce of weight back that I worked so hard to lose. I also promised myself that I would prove everyone wrong and lose at least ten pounds over the holidays, because nobody thinks I can do it. BUT I CAN SO SCREW YOU, NEGATIVE NANCYS.
On another note, I've been in a very good mood lately. I'm quite pleased with that fact. OH AND I LOST THREE MMORE POUNDS! :'D That's twelve pounds in one week. One week. Twelve pounds. Hell yes. I'm hoping to lose fifty pounds by January first. I think I can do it.}FEATURES! :]^{=drugs-and-groceries

*Xphringe

http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28234521/
Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:47:41 PST

My Profile
My Gallery
Watch Me
Note Me}

^{Fact: I love my marshmallow shooter more than I love food. That's a lot.

So apparently everyone can use journal skins now. That's pretty rad if I do say so myself.

Someone hit me up! I'm bored. lol}Features! :]^{~z-nao-factor

~Kiyayiya (formerly known as ~KakashiCatastrophe)

=solagratia

More to come! :]
If you want to be featured, let me know. I'd be glad to stick you in here. :'D}

Graphics by *aishwaryakhan
CSS by =moonfreak

]]> ~HoldingBackTears My dearest homosexual (Mule Day edit) http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28203610/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28203610/ Sat, 07 Nov 2009 19:59:38 PST Give up on me, boy.
I'm not worth your time, much less your concern.

EDIT

I was going to post another journal, but I decided against it. So I'll just post my events of the day here.
For those of you that don't know, I'm in Tallahassee as of now. Mom and I drove up to see my Aunt Barb. We arrived yesterday, and it was actually cold enough outside to where I could see my breath. I was absolutely estatic.
My mom, Aunt Barb, my cousin Kenny, his wife Allison, her neices Jerry and Hadley, and I [[*inhales dramatically*]] all went to Mule Day today. It's this big fair-type-thing that they have every year juuusssttttt over the Georgia border. It was so much fun. I'm exhausted from it, though. lol
We got 87% of our Christmas shopping done there, and managed to buy all of it with under $300. Now, that's a damn good deal if you ask me. I myself got a new studded belt, a shirt, a giraffe print tote bag, a new pair of super rad sunglasses, AND the coolest toy known to man. It's a marshmallow shooter. It's made out of PVC pipe and can't cost more than three bucks to make, but it's happiness in toy form. You put a little mini marshmallow in the breath tube and blow really hard and the marshmallow shoots out. It goes like... 20 feet. That's a long ass distance for a mini marshmallow running on breath power. It's SO rad. So rad. Like ho mah gawh.
I wore my new sunglasses all day, so of course I'm now sporting a lovely sunglasses sunburn line. I look like a freaking tourist. In my own state. Eff my life. Also, I wore a T-shirt, so my farmers tan [[that WAS fading]] is ten times worse than it used to be. It's a good thing I never wear sleeves shorter than my elbows.
I'm definitely not looking forward to leaving. BUT. Aunt Barb is coming down to our neck of the woods to visit soon. Hurray! 8D

I'm going to finish my homework and go to bed now. GOODNIGHT.

P.S. I'm too lazy to look for and fix typos, so please ignore them or correct them in your heads. lol

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Why do you do this to me? http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28104918/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28104918/ Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:47:29 PST I'm tired of being hurt.
I'm tired of not being good enough.
I'm tired of having to deal with bullshit.
I'm tired of my "friends" stabbing me in the back.
I'm tired of doing.
I don't want to feel anymore.

~*~*~*~*~

Le Friendsies.

~Kiyayiya The Kiya Monster.

~Momo-pup The Sarawr.

~fuffly005 The Therese-o-saurus.

~z-nao-factor The Nyssa. Just because she's awesome.

Proud member of *STARFIGHTER-FANCLUB.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears LMFAO!!! http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28027180/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/28027180/ Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:00:25 PDT Miley Cyrus was voted the worst celebrity influence of 2009!

I cracked up. Cracked. Up.

Read the story here: [link] It's DAMN hilarious.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Guess how pathetic I am. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27912163/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27912163/ Thu, 22 Oct 2009 19:03:42 PDT I'm so pathetic that I was actually thinkng that one of those stupid chain mail wishes would work for once.

It didn't. Now I'm sadder than before.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Bad news, good news, more bad news. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27896680/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27896680/ Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:20:54 PDT The bad news first. I like someone. One of my stupid little non-friends is throwing her obsessive self at him. It pisses me off. She JUST broke up with her boyfriend. It went like this: "And I'm just SO sad because I love him SO much and I'd die if we broke up. I really want things to work out and.... do you know if *insert name here* is single?"
Seriously? Wtf is up with that shit? *livid*

NOW FOR GOOD NEWS. Alison Iraheta's album is coming out this winter [[yay!]].
AND. Adam Lambert released his new single "Time For Miracles". It's definitely the bomb to my diggity.

Kalie's party is this Saturday. It's being catered by Sonny's [[epic restaraunt]], there's going to be a soda bar, a candy bar, an ice cream bar, annnndddddddd I can't have any of it. Eff my life.

I only had 500 calories today. Then I worked out forever and burned 451 of them off. So technically I only had 49 calories. It's fabulous. :]

GOODNIGHT!

~*~*~*~*~

Le Friendsies.

~Kiyayiya The Kiya Monster.

~DarkPast101 The gay man who's also known as Jayson.

~Momo-pup The Sarawr.

~fuffly005 The Therese-o-saurus.

~z-nao-factor The Nyssa. Just because she's awesome.

Proud member of *STARFIGHTER-FANCLUB.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears It feels like a rather blustery day. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27852383/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27852383/ Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:46:52 PDT Fact: I love Winnie the Pooh.

There has been three beautiful days in a row where I live. That's a new record. It was 68 degrees at NOON today. It's glorious.
The weather people are saying that we're going to have a mild winter this year. That's something for Florida. I'm beginning to believe that they're correct. The horses started growing their winter coats at the end of August, even before we got our first cold front. That tells you something.
Duley [[my horse]] is SO fuzzy. His ears are two inches thick with fur. It's freaking adorable.
I met someone new this weekend. He's so goofy, and so pervy, and so NOT my type it's almost rediculous. However, for some incomprehensible reason - I quite fancy him. I told my best friend Kalie and it even surpised her. Who knows? Maybe things will work out.
Speaking of Kalie. I'm going to her party this weekend. She's getting a water slide that's two freaking stories tall. I'm not going down it for my own reasons, but it's going to be hella fun watching everyone else. No lies. It's probably going to be cold as hell. Water slides plus cold plus shivering people risking hypothermia equals fun times, my friend. lmao
Jayson fell off the Earth again. That's okay. He doesn't like me anyway. lol.
I want to be outside so badly! D: It's SUCH a beautiful day. I'm going to rush to get my schoolwork done so I can go outside and read. I have so many books to finish, and now is the perfect time. Sweater weather FTW!!! 8D
Ummm.... I think that's it. lol. Forgive my randomness. I just had so much to tell you guys! :'D

Love you all!

~*~*~*~*~

Le Friendsies.

~Kiyayiya The Kiya Monster.

~DarkPast101 The gay man who's also known as Jayson.

~Momo-pup The Sarawr.

~fuffly005 The Therese-o-saurus.

~z-nao-factor The Nyssa. Just because she's awesome.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears FML. I mean seriously. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27513265/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27513265/ Wed, 30 Sep 2009 22:33:19 PDT So you know how I was supposed to be detoxing, right?
I woke up this morning, ate nothing, drank some of my drink, worked out some, drank more of my drink, and had no food... until 10:00 pm. I was feeling so good all day, and then around 8:00 it all went spiraling downward. The room started spinning, my head started pounding, I saw light flashes, I felt sick to my stomach, and everything else that could possibly go wrong DID go wrong. I felt like I was going to die, no exaggerations. I walked into the kitchen and my Mom takes one look at me and says "I think you may need to eat, honey." I said "I don't want to, but I think you may be right."
SO. I made myself a sandwich, cursing myself underneath my breath as I assembled it. I took one bite, and the second that food hit my stomach - I started feeling better. After I finished my sandwich, I was completely and utterly fine.
So what does this conclude? I was nowhere near ready to detox. I've decided to stick to a very healthy diet and excersize routine, and push my detox aside until after Christmas when I'll really need it.
I still reccomend detoxing, it IS extremely good for you, but you have to be ready for it. You can't go from junk food to detox just like that. You'll die. Quite literally.
I expected to be furious with myself; put myself down and call me spineless. I'm not, though. I could have, and WOULD HAVE gone ten days if my body was ready for it. So in reality, I can't blame myself for something that isn't my fault, now can I?
Seeing as how the majority of you guys have been so supportive of my detox, I'm going to ask you instead to be supportive of my road to detox. Sound like a plan?
I honestly cannot thank you guys enough. Your encouragement means SO much to me.

I truly love you all.

No "I told you so"'s, Jayson.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears GUESS WHAT I DID http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27488028/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27488028/ Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:14:20 PDT

Detox - Day One

^{I officially started my detox this afternoon. I've decided to write about it every day, because telling you guys about things that are important to me keeps me going. I'm going to need a lot of support on this, so any you have to offer is appreciated. lol
The drink tastes a million times better than I thought it would. It's actually kind of good. However, the cayanne pepper in it isn't that great. It tastes fine until you swallow it, then it gets hot. My lips, mouth, tongue, throat, esophagus, and stomach burn like a mo fo. lol. But it's not too terribly bad once you get used to it. I think I'll switch to the pepper capsuls, anyway. xD
I've only been doing this a half a day and I already feel better. Knowing that I'm doing something good for myself is SO empowering. I WILL make it ten to thirteen days. I will not break down and go through a Mickey D's drive-through. I will stay strong. Can I get a witness? lmao.

I can't wait to hear from you guys!

Oh, and to a certain person who shall ramain nameless [[you know who you are]] - I do not wish to be called a liar. I swear I tried to get a hold of you and tell you that I changed my mind. You never replied. I swear I didn't lie I love you don't hate me! D:}

EDIT

^{I lied. Mom made barbaque chicken and french fries for dinner. I'll start tomorrow. xD} ]]> ~HoldingBackTears Miley Cyrus.... http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27407191/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27407191/ Fri, 25 Sep 2009 10:24:11 PDT Is a whore. Does anyone agree with me?

She pole dances at her preformances, she dances in quite a vulgar way for the paparazzi, and she's been seen swallowing a billion and two guy's tonsils in public.
I'm all for tongue wars, don't get me wrong - but when you're supposed to be a role model for girls ages 7-13, that's a little inappropriate. In my opinion, it's inappropriate to make out in public period. Holding hands and hugging, or even a peck on the lips, is one thing, but kissing like that should be saved for when you're alone with your significant other. It just makes it more special - and less trashy. She was seen like a day ago with some guy she shot a video with. They were seen basically having dry sex in public on three differnt occasions, and she claims she doesn't have a boyfriend. That just makes her more of a slut.

She's also a hypocrite. She does those twitter thingies - tweets or whatever - and says that "being a paparatzi is the most DISCUSTING job you could ever do. Being followed around by creeps was NOT in the job description." Incorrect spelling and all. I don't care who you are, EVERYONE knows that fame comes with paparazzi. That's just part of it. I'm also quite sure that it IS in the job description. Her freaking father was famous long before she was, she should know what prices fame comes with. Anyway, back to the point. She claims to hate paparazzi while being caught making out with a billion and two guys, but when she's with her girl friends she strikes poses and flashes that smile of hers. If you're going to hate cameras, hate them all the time. Don't just choose to hate them when you're being caught doing stupid shit that ruins your reputation.

At first I liked Miley. I hated Hannah Montana, but I liked her. She writes good musc for the most part, and her voice is half-way decent. Not to mention that she's fairly pretty. I can't stand either one of her characters now. She's just another stupid bitch-whore that let fame go to her head. Can I get an Amen?

ANYWAY. Let me know your thoughts on her, and other celebrities that you think have gone down the drain. Don't bitch me out because you like Miley, because I'll bitch right back. I just want to know your opinion on HER. NOT on me for hating her. Thanks.

Seriously, guys. Let me know. I miss talking to people. :]

Love you all!

]]> ~HoldingBackTears When dieting isn't enough. EDIT. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27364064/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27364064/ Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:35:37 PDT I want to be beautiful.
I want to fade away to almost nothing.
I want to be able to wear a swimsuit in public and not be ashamed.
I want to be able to stand by my best friend and my sister without them being embarrassed by me.
I want to be able to buy something without trying it on because I know it will fit.
I want get rid of the layers of fat that cover my bones.
I want my collar bones to show and my hip bones to be visable, because I know they're under that fat somewhere.
I want to be able to finish what I started...

and I'm going to.

I also want someone to believe in me for once, but that's besides the point.

EDIT

I'm not becoming anorexic. Stop jumping to conclusions. If you're ever confused about anything I post in my journal, clarify it with me first before things get out of hand and askew.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears UGH! DDD:< http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27262112/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27262112/ Thu, 17 Sep 2009 12:44:44 PDT DA needs to leave shit alone and stop changing everything around. As soon as I get used to something - BAM! They change it again. I'm getting tired of it.

Like the new artist comment box for example - I think it looks effing stupid. Seriously.

ANYWAY. Sorry for the angry rage. lol.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears You may have noticed I've been absent . . . http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27244283/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27244283/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:06:40 PDT Or you may not have. It doesn't matter either way. lol

ANYWAY. Since I've been gone for about a week and a half, I thought I'd share some random news and thoughts.

My uncle passed away last Thursday - September 10th. He wasn't my blood uncle, but he was still family. He was SO freaking cool. He lost a long, hard battle with cancer. It started in his colon, but eventually it spread to his brain. However, they don't think it was the cancer that killed him. He died EXTREMEMLY suddenly. He'd actually been feeling better for a few days. My mom thinks he died of a heart attack, at least that's what she concluded from the information my Aunt Barb gave her. Anyway, he's in a much better place now. :]

On another note, I heard that Kanye West called out Taylor Swift at the VMAs [[or whatever award show it was]]. As much as I don't like Taylor, that was really uncool of him to do that. I also give Beyonce major props for calling her up on stage after it all happened.

So apparently people are all over Obama for calling Kanye a jackass. Now - we ALL know how very much I hate Obama, but c'mon now; really? He's not allowed to cuss just becaue he's the president? That's kind of stupid. I listened to the clip where he said it and laughed SO hard. It was pretty great. You can see the clip and read the article here: [link]

The new season of the Biggest Loser started yesterday. Yes, I watch that show. I find it rather inspiational. This is going to be a really good season.
Glee started too! Hurray! 8D

ANYWAY. How have you guys been? Comment and tell me!

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Black Cherry Jell-O http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27095128/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/27095128/ Tue, 08 Sep 2009 13:39:18 PDT In one serving - there's no carbs, no sugars, no fat, a gram of protien(which is good) and only 10 calories. There's four servings in a bowl. So I can eat TWO bowls of Jell-O, and only have 80 calories. Isn't that glorious? I just found my new favourite snack food.

Now I know why there's something called the Jell-O diet.
Epic freaking win, man.
Epic. Freaking. Win.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears I'm a fatass. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26987385/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26987385/ Wed, 02 Sep 2009 22:24:32 PDT Mom bought two brand new tubs of ice cream. One vanilla, one chocolate chip cookie. We also have another tub of vanilla from about a week ago. She also bought really freaking good bagels. A quarter of that chocolate chip cookie ice cream was gone within twenty minutes of it being broght home. You know who ate it? Your's truly. I feel horrible, terrible, and so utterly guilty I want to cry. So you know what? Starting now - all of that food is going to be eaten by everyone except me.

I'm tired of being disgusted with myself, and I'm tired of crying everytime I see my reflection in the mirror; or any other shiny surface. I'm going to be pretty one day. Well . . . presentable at least. I don't know if I can get to pretty.

No more junk. No more of those delicious Sour Path Kids, or savory butter-covered cheesy bagels. Lettuce and ice are offiially my new best friends. I won't get skinny until I stop shoveling food into my fat face. No more. I'll stop when you can see my hip bones. No harm there.

Bring on the hunger pangs, kiddos. I'll take everything you can throw at me.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears I want out. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26982711/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26982711/ Wed, 02 Sep 2009 17:40:28 PDT Mom and Dad are trying t make me get rid of Gorgon (my snake). I don't WANT to get rid of my snake. I love that thing. He's so pretty and - for a snake - he's extremely loving.
Mom is trying to tell me that I don't want him anymore. That the newness of it has worn off and I don'take care of him like I'm supposed to. Bullshit. I love that snake as much as I love the rest of my pets.
I'm crying as I type this because I can't bear to think of me gettig rid of him.

I'm so tired of this place. I'm so stresed all the time. I'm looking for any distraction I can find to take my mind off of things. It's interfering with my schoolwork. It's screwing up my social life, and it's messing with my head. I can't take it. I can't TAKE IT!

I want out, I want out, I want out.

Please - someone come save me.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears I'm a theif. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26954992/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26954992/ Tue, 01 Sep 2009 10:42:35 PDT

âºâºYour name?
âº Kelly.

âºâºIf possible, your age?
âº Possible? Yes. Relevant? No.

âºâºWhen did you start drawing?
âº At the ripe young age of one and a half.

âºâºWhich hand do you use for drawing?
âº Right.

âºâºWhich is easier to draw - male or female?
âº Meh. I honestly woudn't know. I don't draw chicks.

âºâºWhich is easier to draw - long hair or short hair?
âº It depends more on the style than the length.

âºâºIs it easier to draw the head facing towards the right
or the left?
âº I mostly draw straight-on faces, but I would think it's the same.

âºâºIs it easier to draw the side view of the face or the
front view?
âº I'd say front view, but that's just me.

âºâºWhat do you have problems in drawing?
âº Hands, feet, lips, and epic poses.

âºâºWhat do you like to draw?
âº Pretty boys in eyeliner. :]

âºâºAre you a traditional artist or a digital artist?
âº Traditional fer sure.

âºâºWhere do you start drawing from?
âº Contours, eyes, hair, face, then the rest.

âºâºWhat is your drawing habit that you are aware of?
âº I procrastinate terribly.

âºâºWhat do you keep in mind when you do lineart?
âº "Don't screw this up, damnit! D:<"

âºâºAny tips for coloring/shading?
âº I'm not a good enough artist to be giving tips. lol

âºâºHow long does it take to finish a piece of art?
âº The actual time spent on the piece, normally about a 32 hours. Procrastination factored in: months. lol

âºâºWhat music do you listen to while you draw?
âº It depends on the tone of the picture, but I mostly listen to techno core and classical.

âºâºHow long does it take you to come up with an idea?
âº The question is: "How long does it take me to find a reference picture?" I'm an unoriginal little thing.

âºâºYour favorite drawing utensils?
âº Paper and a pencil, I guess?

âºâºYour favorite color/the color that you use a lot?
âº I mainly stick with graphite. Colour scares me so badly.

âºâºYour favorite style(s)?
âº If it's original and interesting, then I like it.

âºâºAre you satisfied with your current art?
âº I'm not DISsatisfied, but I'd still like to get better.

âºâºWhat kind of artist are you aiming for?
âº A good one. lol

âºâºWhat are some artists here on dA that you look up to?
âº *Xphringe, ~z-nao-factor, ~GoodbyeSleep, =Cataclysm-X, and so many more. Those are only a few. Don't feel bad if your name isn't here! I love you all equally. <3

I TAG:

because she loves me.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears It's better if I bleed for you. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26865293/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26865293/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:43:36 PDT I'm going to bed. That way I can dream and taint myself instead of those I hold dear.

Goodnight.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Truth be told... http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26825721/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26825721/ Tue, 25 Aug 2009 21:00:57 PDT There's no reason for living...

when living is your only reason.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Devious Journal Entry http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26735424/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26735424/ Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:01:48 PDT "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts".

Did you go anywhere yesterday?
To the barn.

Who was the last person you shared beds with?
Kiya Monster.

Does the person you like know that you like them?
One of them does.

Last time you talked to your mom?
This morning.

Where are you right now?
The computer room.

Favorite gadget in the kitchen?
Definitely the coffee machine. lol

How is your hair?
Pulled back.

Where's the last place you walked to?
I walked to the kitchen a couple minutes ago.

Last time you had a sleepover?
Too long ago.

Latest you stayed up in the past week?
4:00am

What are you doing?
Reading fan fics.

What is the last thing you said aloud?
"WHOOSH! Look what the wind did to my hat! D:" It's a Fresh Prince quote. lolol

Who's the 1st person on your missed calls list?
Leianne, probably.

What did the last text message you received say?
I don't know, and I don't feel like looking.

Last time you went to church?
A few weeks ago.

Story behind your MySpace song?
It's Adam Lambert. It needs no explaining. lol

What's bothering you right now?
My feelings.

Your ex shows up at your house and asks for you back, you say...
I don't have an ex.

So is the person you last texted single?
Yes.

How do you type your smileys?
:]

What does your phone do when you get a text message?
It says "I got mail, yayyyyy!!!! I got mail yay.

"

Was last night terrible?
Pretty much, yeah. Hoping tonight will be better.

Is your hair clean?
Yes.

Would you donate blood?
If I worked up the courage.

What color is YOUR hair?
I'm assuming the emphasis means natural hair colour, so brown.

If you had to marry someone right now who would it be?
Alex. :3

Last people besides family that went into your house?
Kiya?

Do you know anyone who does cocaine?
Unfortunately.

Do you get jealous easily?
No, I don't.

Ever dated two people at once?
Nope.

Are you happy?
Not at the moment.

Do you like meeting new people?
Yes I do.

What were you doing at ten last night?
Watching Ghost Hunters.

Who are you currently texting?
Noone.

What was the last thing you drank?
Crystal Light.

Do you miss someone?
Terribly.

What color are your eyes?
Dark brown and boring.

Are you a type of person who cares what people say about you?
Unfortunately, yes.

Something you're looking forward to in the next month?
Jayson getting back online soon! D:

Do you currently have a hickey, if so where?
No I don't.

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
To be closer to him. <3

When you and your friends are out and about do you usually get dirty looks?
No.

Who's the last person you hugged?
Kalie.

~*~

<--- Kiya: Artist, poet, photographer, actress, sister. Check her out.

Jayson: Poet, shoppaholic, drama queen, best friend. Visit his page and love him.

Gabby: Artist, writer, friend, the eptiome of awesome. Love her or I kill you.

Erik: Photgrapher, poet - even though he denies it, friend, zebra lover, has the prettiest hair you'll ever see. He's epic. Enough said.

---

http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26670152/ Tue, 18 Aug 2009 11:45:46 PDT I think I might like him just a tad bit more than I'd planned to.
I had a dream about him last night, which is odd because I haven't thought of him in MONTHS. I haven't talked to him in almost a year, but now I realze that I miss him terribly.
Everything I felt for him all came rushing back this morning, and I can't stop it. It's terrible and wonderful at the same time. It's a bitter-sweet epiphay. A beautiful disaster.
The worst part, or maybe the best part - I have absolutely no way to get in touch with him. No e-mail, no phone number, nothing. But I have to hear him. I have to hear his voice again. I want to. I need to. I can't.

This sucks.

~*~

<--- Kiya: Artist, poet, photographer, actress, sister. Check her out.

Jayson: Poet, shoppaholic, drama queen, best friend. Visit his page and love him.

Gabby: Artist, writer, friend, the eptiome of awesome. Love her or I kill you.

Erik: Photgrapher, poet - even though he denies it, friend, zebra lover, has the prettiest hair you'll ever see. He's epic. Enough said.

---

Proud member of *STARFIGHTER-FANCLUB.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Taggity tag tag. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26650420/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26650420/ Mon, 17 Aug 2009 13:11:09 PDT Can you name 20 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 20 people, and be sure to tag the person who tagged you after completing it yourself. *this is a lot more interesting if you actually list the names first Â be patient & see this thing through*

1. Nyssa
2. Jayson
3. Kovu
4. Alex
5. Matt
6. Isaiah
7. Jared
8. Erik
9. Josh
10. Damion
11. Chase
12. Alexxion
13. Alan
14. Kiya
15. Kalie
16. Cord
17. Sarah C
18. Sarah K
19. Shannon
20. Staci

1. How did you meet 10?
Through Jayson.

2. What would you do if you had never met 6?
Oh my God. I love that kid so much. I have no idea.

3. If you could marry either 6 or 14 who will it be?
Oh feck. D: With Isaiah I would be a pedo, and he's basically family. Kiya's a girl - and I'm straight. I guess Kiya. It's not like it would change anything. lol

4. Did you ever like 9?
Like as in non-platonically? No.
But I do love him dearly. <3

5. Have you ever seen 4 cry?
Yes. It damn near killed me.

6. Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?
Sure if they wanted to.

7. Describe 8:
A completely lovable jackass who's blunt and to the point. But he's also a damn good shoulder to cry on when you need to. I love that kid. <3

8. Last time you saw 12?
I taked to him a few days ago.

9. Tell me something about 17?
She's Cuban. :'D

10. What's 7's favorite color?
Green, I think. O_O

11. What would you do if 20 AND 1 just confessed they liked you?
Staci -I would flip the hell out. She's straight as an arrow. Nyssa I would feel bad because I'm straight and wouldn't be able to like her back. She's my bestest buddy and I don't like seeing her sad. ;~~~;

12. When was the last time you talked to number 6?
Two days ago. :]

13. How do you think 4 feels about you?

<3333333

14.What language does 13 speak?
English.

15. Who is 2 going out with?
Freaking everyone. xDDD
No just kidding.
Erik and Alan officially.

16. What grade is 8 in?
Graduated.

17. What is 16's favorite music?
Metal.

18. Would you ever date 3?
Yes, yes I would. Kovu's damn amazing.

19. Is 11 single?
No.

20. What's 10's last name?
Uhmm, uhmmm, I don't know! D:

21 Where does 18 live?
Not too far from me, actually.

22. What do you think about 10?
He's really funny when he talks, but he's quiet most of the time. I still love him all the same, though.

23. What is the best thing about 4?
What isn't the best thing? He's perfect.

24. What would you like to tell 16 right now?
I miss you! D:

25. How did you meet 5?
Through Jayson.

26. What is the best and worst thing about 6?
He's so cute! I want to steal him. There is no worst thing. I don't think he has a bad thing about him.

27. Who do you trust the most?
All of them. :]

28. What is 3's best quality?
He's adorable and hilarious and so completely random you HAVE to love him. <3

]]> ~HoldingBackTears NYSSA!!!!! DDD: http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26554992/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26554992/ Wed, 12 Aug 2009 18:48:12 PDT Draw me some Junjou Romantica boy love! D:
I'm having withdraws. ;~~~;

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Self survey. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26526009/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26526009/ Tue, 11 Aug 2009 11:45:00 PDT I stumbled upon one of =Osiristhrasher06's journals, and this survey happened to be in there. I decided to do it - for my own well being, if not for anyone else's. I encourage all of you to do this as well. It just might put some extra pep in your step.

Rules: Post ten things that you LIKE about yourself in your journal.

1. I like the fact that I can draw fairly well. I see myself improving everytime I come back to something.

2. I like my singing voice. Although I'm far from star material, I think I sing pretty damn good - for someone my age especially. I have a three octave range as of right now. I'm quite proud of that.

3. I like my ankles. I don't know why, I just do.

4. I like that fact that I'm able to love unconditionally. If I tell you I love you, then I mean it.

5. I'm starting to accept the fact that I'm a beautiful person on the inside.

6. I'm proud of the fact that I'm starting to come to the conclusion that I'm not as ugly as I once though. I still don't think I'm pretty, much less beautiful, but I've decided that I'm half-way decent looking. That's a long way from where I started.

7. I'm good at giving advice, no matter what your situation or who you are. I like helping people through their hard times. Making people smile brings greatjoy to me.

8. I can entertain myself. I'm not dependant on others to keep me happy. Although I do love my friends dearly.

9. I love my imagination. Sometimes I feel like a five year old with all of the things I think about. Then I realize that most people my age have gone so far as to lose their ability to be creative, much less imaginative. So, I hold fast to what I can.

10. Life is beautiful, and I finally realized it. Now that, that I'm proud of.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears I'm so sick. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26472688/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26472688/ Sat, 08 Aug 2009 21:20:52 PDT Seriously, guys. I'm SO sick. It's not a cold or the flu or bubonic plague. So have no idea what's wrong with me. I had bloodwork done, but it wasn't for my illness. It was for my insulin resistance or whatever the hell I have. Maybe they'll be able to figure out what's wrong with me too.

So I'm doing a detox with the Kiya monster. [[

She's epic. Check her out.]] *Well... I can't really call it a detox, because it's not. Im eating twice a day, so... that isn't really detoxing. ANYWAY.* It isn't going too well.

My mom made me eat this morning because she says I need solid food at least once a day. I'm fine with that. Well. She also made me eat dinner. I had a chicken salad sandwhich. Okay, whatever. I can work it off tomorrow. THEN we went to McDonald's to get my dad food. I caved and got fries. Now I feel like I'm going to die. I'm kind of tempted to throw it up because I feel THAT bad. Ugh. This is why I don't do fast food.

Thank God I'm dieting officially starting tomorrow. Even if it isn't the detox I want it to be.
We got a new microwave seeing as how all of the buttons on our other one stopped working. Dad decided to start putting it together NOW. At 12:00am.

It's adding to the terrible migrane I already have. Thanks, Dad. Thanks so much. *facepalm*
Jayson fell off the face of the Earth again. I haven't talked to him since Tuesday. It's starting to give me actual factual panick attacks. I NEVER get those. And it's not any better since I'm sick. Whatever. I just hope he decides to talk to me again soon.
Sorry for the life story dumped on you guys.

But I love you! :'D

*UPDATE* Jayson's back. :]

Song to love: "Pretty Rave Girl" - I Am X-Ray

]]> ~HoldingBackTears This or that... http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26453209/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26453209/ Fri, 07 Aug 2009 20:40:24 PDT Colors or Black and White?
It depends on what we're talking about.

Pink or Purple?
Purple. Fer sure.

Yellow or Green?
Green.

Apple or Orange?
Uhmmmm... both. D:

Fairy or Princess?
Fairy.

Panda or Kangaroo?
Panda.

Analog or Digital?
Both. :]

Coke or Pepsi?
Coke ftw.

Coffee or Tea?
Both.

Cake or Ice Cream?
Ice cream cake!

Miami Dolphins or New York Jets?
Um. Gross. Neither.

Hockey or Soccer?
Neither.

Summer or Winter Olympics?
Winter.

Rollerblade or Iceskate?
Iceskate.

Fire or Ice?
Both are quite lovely.

Dildo or Vibrator?
What kind of an effed up twisted question is that? D:

Beatles or Rolling Stones?
Uhhhh..... Beatles, I guess. I don't really like either.

Elton John or Billy Joel?
Both!

Gold or Silver?
In colours... or jewlery, or what?

Metallica or Slayer?
Neither.

In tic-tac-toe, are you the X or O?
X. Fer sure.

Heads or Tails?
Tails.

School or Work?
Work. I hate school.

Bowling or Rollerskating?
Bowling.

Hurricane or Earthquake?
I'd prefer to come in contact with neither, thank you.

Too fat or too skinny?
Both are unhealthy. So I'm not chosing.

Coffe with creamer or black?
Cream.

Amazing Race or Survivor?
survivor.

Domestic or Foreign car?
Foreign. :]

Miami Ink or L.A. Ink?
I love them both so much. D:

Sandals or Tennis Shoes?
Tennis shoes. I hate flip flops.

Twister or Connect Four?
Twister! : DDD

Florida or California?
Florida is too hot, too humid, too bug infested.
California is too hot, too crowded, too dangerous. But it has Adam Lambert.
So California it is.

Poems or Short Stories?
Both.

50 Cent or 2pac?
I don't enjoy rap. At all.

Atlantic or Pacific ocean?
Atlantic I guess.

Oprah or Dr. Phil?
HAH. neither.

Scrapbooking or photography?
Photography.

MacDonald's or Burger King?
Mickey D's. :]

Red or White wine?
I wouldn't know.

Love or Lust?
Love. Lust is temporary.

Hamburgers or hot dogs?
Both. :]

Funny or romantic?
Romantic comedy. :'D

Abercrombie or Hollister?
Hot Topic and JC Penny. :]

Public or Private School?
Homeschool.

Rings or necklaces?
necklaces.

White or dark chocolate?
Dark.

Life in Prison or Dealth Penalty?
It's "Death". Lmfao.

Truth or Dare?
Uhhhh..... depends.

Surfing or snowboarding?
Snowboarding.

Soft candy or hard candy?
Both.

Phone or e-mail?
IM. :]

Pizza or chicken wings?
Pizza. lol

Spiderman or batman?
Spiderman! Spiderman! Radio-active Spiderman! :'D
Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh BATMAN! :'D
I CAN'T CHOOSE! D:

Fruit or vegetable?
fruit.

Indoors or Outdoors?
Depends on the weather.
Definitely outside if it's raining.

TV or computer?
Computer.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears What have I learned today? http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26452713/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26452713/ Fri, 07 Aug 2009 20:10:10 PDT I learned that "poker face" took on a whole new definition. xD

Best definition of Poker face, ever.

A game in which an underclassman girl is placed under a table with several guys sitting around said table. The girl then proceeds to fellate one of the guys, and it is his job to keep a straight face. If the male receiving fellatio gets called out by the others he loses.

-Yo dude, we are about to play poker face with that freshman ho tonight.

Isn't that great?! xDDD

Anyway. SUREVEY TIEM! :'D

~*~

Finish this sentence: The last person I kissed is...
Not applicable.

Where were your hands last night at 11p.m?
Tickling the ivories. [[that means playing piano. lolol]]

Do you read magazines, or just look at the pictures?
Both.

How many piercings do you have?
Just two. But not for long.

Have you ever kissed anyone within an hour of meeting them?
Nope. :]

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
I sure do.

Have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms?
Does my mom count?

Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
Kiya. <3

Do you care too much/not at all/just enough?
Too much.

Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
Not spoiled, really. Just blessed.

Did you sleep alone Friday night?
I sleep alone every night. Besides my doggy. <3

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
Matt.

Who was the last person you went out to eat with?
Kiya. :'D

Where is your dad?
Snoring violently on the couch.

Have you ever been called beautiful?
Yes. I just wish I could believe them.

Would you ever eat a bug for 1,000 dollars?
Psh. I would eat anything that wouldn't cause me to die for 1,000 dollars.

Ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
Yep.

Is it possible to be single and happy?
Yes it is.

The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?
Not applicable.

Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
Soon, hopefully.

Why do you think people cheat?
I have no idea.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Detoxing with the Kiya Monster. <333

How many pillows on your bed?
Six.

Do you always answer your phone?
For the most part.

Where was the last place you went besides your house?
The barn.

Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
Yes. :]

Is anyone else in the room with you?
No. But I'm IMing Kiya. :]

What was the first thing you thought of this morning?
"I will NOT eat breakfast." No, I'm not annorexic. I had to fast for bloodwork. ><

Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life?
Pretty much. I wish the weather was cooler, though.

Do you think you'll have the same best friends a year from now?
Forever and always.

Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
More than you could ever hope to imagine.

Have you seen the last person who texted you naked?
HAH. No. xDDD

Is anything bothering you?
Extremely.

When's the last time you had a headache?
I have one currently.

Where were you at 5 pm yesterday?
Uhmmm... my house, I think.

Can money buy happiness?
Not permanently.

Are you wearing pants right now?
Yes I am. :]

Have you ever cut your own hair?
Nahhh. I'm too afraid I'll eff it up.

Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more?
Kiya and Steph.

Do you eat out or at home more often?
Uhmmmm...........................
home.

Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat?
If I can have the seat to myself - window. If I have to sit next to someone - isle.

Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
Yes.

Do you shut off the water when you brush your teeth?
Yes. SAVE THE WHALES! :'D

Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
Right side/middle right side.

Your enemy is at your doorstep begging for forgiveness, what would you do?
Forgive them.

Do you hate anyone?
~HoldingBackTears Well . . . http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26432983/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26432983/ Thu, 06 Aug 2009 21:34:20 PDT Since Kiya's long since been asleep, and Jayson won't get his ass the eff online - I'm going to bed. Then I'll stare at the ceiling for two hours trying to fall asleep, but ultimately failing in the end. Effing insomia.
ANYWAY. I love you all. Goodnight and sweet dreams

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Good... http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26328450/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26328450/ Sat, 01 Aug 2009 23:30:50 PDT ...night.

I'm so tired I might die.

New fail poems. Read and have a laugh.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears I got tagged. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26256389/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26256389/ Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:04:06 PDT Tagged by :devsolgratia:

8 random things about myself:

1. I avoid flip flops like the plauge.
2. High-top Converse are my favourite shoes.
3. I have a somewhat surprising obsession with makeup.
4. I don't wear jewlry unless forced to.
6. My voice annoys me.
7. I want to get skinny liek nao.
8. Right now - I'm more alone than I've ever been in my entire life.

I'm not tagging anyone. Do this if you want to.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears 100 http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26111765/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/26111765/ Wed, 22 Jul 2009 15:38:54 PDT Definitely not

2. Taken a shower with someone?
When I was like... five, yes.

3. Made out with a member of the same sex?
Gross. No.

4. Drove a car?
Sure have.

5. Stole anything?
Nope.

6. Like someone?
Absolutely. <3

7. Been dumped?
Nope.

8. Stole money from a friend?
Nope.

9. Gotten in a car with people you just met?
No. That's stranger danger. lol

10. Been in a fist fight?
No I haven't, surprisngly.

11. Snuck out of your/someones house?
Nope.

12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
Unfortunately.

13. Been arrested?
No. I don't plan to either.

14. Hugged a stranger?
lmfao yes.

15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?
No.

16. Left your house with out telling your parents?
No.

17. Had a crush on your neighbor?
No.

18. Ditched school to do something more fun?
Haha yeah.

19. Slept in a bed with a member of the opposite sex?
uhhhh........ no. It was a couch.

20. Lost a friend?
Yes.

21. Been on a plane?
Never.

23. Slept in until 3?
Once. But I went to bed at 9:00 that morning.

24. Love someone other then family/friends?
Yep. :]

25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
A few times. I like looking at stars more.

26. Made a snow angel?
No. :[

27. Played dress up?
When I was younger.

28. Cheated while playing a game?
I'm sure I have a couple times. lol

29. Been lonely?
On occasion.

30. Kissed more than 4 people in one night?
Never.

31. Been to a club?
Nope.

32. Felt an earthquake?
No, thank God.

33. Touched a snake?
I have one. <333

34. Ran a red light?
Not when I was driving.

35. Been suspended from school?
Never ever.

36. Had detention?
A couple.

37. Been in a car accident?
No.

38. Hated the way you look?
24/7

39. Made yourself throw up?
Once. But not for weight loss purposes.

40. Crawled thru a window?
What else are you supposed to do when you forget your house key? lol

41. Been lost?
xDDD YES.

42. Been to the opposite side of the country?
Nope. Never left the east coast

43. Felt like dying?
Not as often, nowadays.

44. Cried yourself to sleep?
Too many times to count.

46. Sang karaoke?
A few times. lol

47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
Unfortunately.

48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
Yes. xD

49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
No. :[

50. Kissed in the rain?
Nope.

51. Sang in the shower?
Every once in a blue moon. lol

52. Made love in a park?
lmfao no. Who does that? xD

53. Had a dream that you married someone?
YES. I wish I wouldn't have woken up. lolol

54. Glued your hand to something?
Glued my hands together. lol

55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?
lol no!

56. Ever gone to school partially naked?
PSH. No.

57. Been a cheerleader?
Never. Don't plan to.

58. Thought about going gay?
Absolutely not.

59. Didn't take a shower for a week?
Gross! D:

60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?
lolol yes.

61. Played the board game Sorry?
Yes.

62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
Yep.

63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger?
Nope.

64. Broken a bone?
No.

65. Been easily amused?
oh yea! xD

66. Laugh so hard you cried?
Yes. lolol

67. Mooned/flashed someone?
nope

68. Cheated on a test?
No

69. Forgotten someone's name?
xDD yes.

70. Slept naked?
Nope.

71. Done something dumb while drunk?
Never been drunk.

73. Blacked out from drinking?
Nope.

74. Played a prank on someone?
Yes. lol

75. Gone to a late night movie?
Yes I have.

76. Made love to a person lately?
Nope.

77. Failed a class?
A couple.

78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat?
xD No.

79. Smoked pot?
never ever ever. Above the i... ]]> ~HoldingBackTears Add your own question. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25938398/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25938398/ Tue, 14 Jul 2009 09:25:03 PDT Here's the rules: Complete the survey then add a question of your own anywhere within the survey and repost!
HAVE FUN!

How many languages do you speak?:
Fluently? One.

Who would you go gay for?:
No girl is hot enough to make me go gay. lol

If you could be in an upcoming movie, which would it be?:
ICE AGE 3! Woot Woot! 8D

Have you ever done drugs before?:
Nope.

If so, which one(s)?:
I haven't.

How old where you when you did drugs?:
I wasn't. D:<

What drug would you do if given the choice?:
I wouldn't. They're ALL bad for you in one way or another.

Who is/was your teenage heart-throbe(s)?:
There was this show on TV called Zaboomafoo when I was little. I was in love with one of those guys. xD

What decade would you have rather been born in?:
Ummmm..... The 80's.

If you were given a choice between living with someone you hate for the rest of your life, or being alone for the rest of your life, what would you choose?:
Living with someone I hate.

What's your favorite Zodiac sign?:
Uhhhh..... Capricorn I guess?

What's your least favorite Zodiac sign:
I have no idea.

How many concerts have you been to?:
One.

Do you need to be rescued?:
Why yes. Yes I do.

From what?:
From Florida. D:

If scientists invented a drug that could take you anywhere you wanted to go, but if you stopped using it you would die, would you use it?:
Uhmm, duh. Of course I would.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?:
It all depends on how much wood the woodchuck could chuck before upchucking. C:

Do you walk a lonely road?:
Um. No? I hate this question. It made me think of those Godforsaken Green Day lyrics. I hate Green Day.

If you could legally kidnap any celebrity and do whatever you wanted with them, who would it be and what would you do?
Adam Lambert, and I think that second part is self-explanitory. hurr hurr hurr

]]> ~HoldingBackTears My hair is purple now. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25870043/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25870043/ Fri, 10 Jul 2009 22:06:49 PDT Yes, I'm serious. I dyed it, and I LOVE it. My mother, however, does not. lol
It's uneven because I didn't use the applicator tip on the bttle of dye. I didn't know you were supposed to. Half of it washed out in the shower - I didn't let it sit long enough.
I'm going to the salon next weekend to get it dyed red. :]

I love you all. Good night and sweet dreams. :]

]]> ~HoldingBackTears TAG I'M IT! http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25818900/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25818900/ Wed, 08 Jul 2009 13:46:40 PDT Real Name: Kelly Krunkface
Nickname: Kelly
DeviantArt Name: HoldingBackTears
Gender: female.

FAVORITES

Colour: Red, Black, White
Food: Something that tastes good. :]
Drinks: Venom, Dr. Pepper, sweet tea
Movie at the moment (1 only): Lion King. When is that NOT my favourite movie? lol
Song at the moment (1 only): No Boundries - Adam Lambert
TV Program (1 only): Ghost Hunters
TV Channel (1 only): Uhmmm.... VH1 I guess.
Book: A Great and Terrible Beauty
Ice Cream flavor: coffee

VERSUS

What do you like most?

Sweet or Spicy?: Sweet.

White chocolate or dark chocolate?: Dark.

School or Mall?: Mall.

Desktop Computer or Laptop?: Laptop

Ice Cream or Cake?: Ice cream cake. :'D

Anime or Cartoons?: Anime.

PSP or PS2?: Uhmmm..... PSP.

Sony or Panasonic?: Sony.

RnB or Pop?: Pop.

DEVIANART

What is your most favourited deviation in your gallery? "Rob" How very gay. lol

Who is your first watcher? ~KakashiCatastrophe :3 i love you, Kiya. <33

How many watchers do you have right now? 74. ;~~~;

How many deviation/s do you have? 66

At the moment, how many are your page views? 6,742

Who of your watchers do you talk to the most? ~z-nao-factor, =drugs-and-groceries, *Xphringe

Are you a subscriber? No. D:

When did you start using DeviantArt? August 12, 2007.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears I think . . . http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25805272/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25805272/ Tue, 07 Jul 2009 20:32:46 PDT . . . he's coming home. Finally.

~~~

What would your name be if you married the last person you texted?
Kelly Castro

Do you have any bracelets or rings on?
Nope.

What's your current mood?
Hella bored.

Last time you cried?
Today.

Has anyone told you they loved you today besides family?
Nyssa. <3

You saw someone attractive today?
Unfortunately not. lol

Has anything good happened to you today?
Uhmmm.... I had chocolate chip waffles for dinner~!

Do you think it's okay to drink if your under aged?
No I mot certainly do not.

Any Tattoo' s/ Piercings?
Size 10 gauges, hip piercings soon to come. :]

Have you kissed or been kissed by anyone in the past week?
Nope.

Are you hungry right now?
A little.

Where is your biological father right now?
Sleeping in the recliner. lol

Where did your last hug take place?
I honestly can't remember. It's been that long.

Are you happy with the way things are going?
I suppose so.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattos?
I'm currently wanting a lot of piercings. lol

One thing you're looking forward to?
Saturday!

Do you have an older brother?
I have two.

Do you like your best friend's boyfriend/ girlfriend?
I love Erik with a firey freaking passion. Even if he is a jackass. <333

Are you a mean person?
I try not to be.

Who was the last person you got in a fight/argument with? About what?
Some douche named Eli about him being obnoxious.

What will you be doing in 3 hours?
Probably sleeping.

Would you ever live with anyone of your top friends?
Yeah!

Does anyone call you babe/baby?
Nyssa and Alex mainly.

Do you have any plans for the rest of the week?
I do. :]

What do you hear right now?
The living room TV.

Do you think $30 for a pair of jeans is cheap?
Cheap? No. I think it's reasonably priced. I wouldn't pay more than fourty dollars for jeans ever. Unless they were the sex. :]

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
Unfortunately.

Have you ever cried in front of your number one?
Yes.

Are you any good with kids?
I'm wonderful with kids. I'm just not having any.

Anyone you would like to get things straight with?
Not that I know of.

What woke you up this morning?
My alarm.

What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Watching TV.

Are you starting to realize anything?
Yes. I think he's done with me.
Have you ever slept in the same bed as the same sex?
Many times. What girl hasn't had sleepovers?

Have you been outside for longer than 30 minutes today?
Yes.

Has anyone ever sang to you?
Not directly to me. They've sang near me.

Last reason why you were grounded?
Probably mouthing off.

Is it easy to make you cry?
Depends.

Have you ever met someone who is amazing?
Indeed I have.

What are you doing tomorow?
Schoolwork and talking to Nyssa, hopefully.

Are you determined to have a better day tomorrow?
I hope so.

Do you trust all of your friends?
No I don't.

Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Absolutely. I wish I was there now.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Yes.

Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
All the time. <3

What's your most favorite scar?
lawl. Wierd question.
Uhmmmmm..... I have a lot, so I don't know.

What are your plans for the weekend?
Kalie sleeps over Friday, then Rain sleeps over Saturday. :]

Have you kissed or hugged anyone today?
Nope.

Is there one person you look at and automatically smile?
Yes. :]

Last person you spoke about memories with?
Rain.

Whens the last time you fell over?
Like two minutes ago. xDDDD

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Panic! At the Kelly's house. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25633388/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25633388/ Mon, 29 Jun 2009 16:09:48 PDT I'm back from Georgia. Camp was amazing. I met so many wonderful people. The mountains were beautiful. Expect me to be moving soon. :]
I was also reminded of why I don't like roller coasters - courtesy of Six Flags.

I'm having panic attacks like mad. I don't know where the hell Jayson is. I mean I know he's in Miami, but seriously. I also don't know if these chicks he's with are good news. I get the impression that they're trying to change him. If that's the case, they'll have to kill me first. I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, but It's not working. That's just how I am.

I'm going to have to wrap this journal up sooner than expected. Thinking of all this has left me gasping for breath again.
I hope all is well with you guys.

Come home soon. Please.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Good news and more god news. :] http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25455038/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25455038/ Sun, 21 Jun 2009 14:20:13 PDT First off, my arm is completely healed.

I have scars hella bad, but that's okay.

Second, I was at two horse shows; one Friday and one Saturday. Duley [[my horse]] did incredibly well - seeing as how it was his first two shows ever. He and I placed 5th in 3D hairpin on Saturday. I know most of you don't know what that means. Just know that we did really well. xD

LAST. I'll be gone for a week starting at 10:00 PM eastern-standard time tonight.

I'm going to Georgia with a whole bunch of people. It should be fun.

I'm going to have SO MANY deviatons to go through when I get back.

Don't stop sending me messages, though! I'd like to think that you guys will miss me.

I'll talk to you guys soon!

]]> ~HoldingBackTears four people, one house. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25401287/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25401287/ Thu, 18 Jun 2009 18:29:19 PDT List 3 people. include you as 4

1. Alex

2. Kovu

3. Jayson

4. Myself

These 4 people r stuck in a house for a year.

No leaving the house until a year is up. [[Oh, hell. This is gonna be an event. xD]]

Every question write someone's name down. Seems like they would do that.

If there was someone singing in the morning, who would it be?
Both me and Alex.

If someone was considered the mom of the house, who would she/he be?
Jayson, for sure. xD

If u wanted candy badly, everyone but u have some, who would u take it from?
Kovu. Because he would freak out and be adorable. <3

If two people were caught making out in a closet, who would they be?
Ummmm.... What if it could be any two people except me and Jayson? xD

If someone had 2 watch you brush your teeth every morning, who would it be?
Why would anypne want to watc me brush my teeth? xD

There was two bags of chips in the house but 20 minutes later they are gone
Who ate them?
Psh. Kovu for sure.

Who would hate being in the house the most?
Jayson, because he'd have to be stuck with two horn dogs and a crazy person. xD

Someone took a brand spanking new pair of socks, who is the thief?
Me! :'D

Someone swept all the dirt under the rug, who was it?
Me if I was in a claning mood. Jayson any other time.

If there were arguments in the house, who would be the ones arguing?
Me and Jayson.

Who would be the 1 missing they're bf/gf that wasn't in the house w/them?
Jayson and Kovu.

A pillow fight breaks out, who started it?
Probably me, alex, and kovu simultaniously. lol

There's a marathon of your favorite tv show, what is it?
Kyle XY! :'D

Who would be watching with you?
Everyone because I'd make them. :3

Someone made a fort in the laundry room, who was the kid?
Kovu. xDDD

There's a prankster in the house that put plastic on the two toilets?
Ew. D:
I don't think any of us would do that. It's icky. ><

The music's too loud, who turned it up?
Me, Alex, or Kovu.

There's a mouse crawling on the floor !!

A) Who is the first one to scream?
Jayson. xD

B) Who is the one to jump in someones arms?
Jayson.

C) Who would be the one to kill it?
Noone! D:

Someones crying, who is it and what happened?
Alex because he's a sissy. BUT I LOVE HIM ANYWAY. <333

Who made pancakes in the morning and almost caught the house on fire?
Kovu.

Someones tanning on the roof who is it?
Well... Jayson hates heights, Alex and I hate being tan... so I guess it's Kovu.

Who is the tallest in the house?
Alex I think. o_O

Who is the shortest in the house?
Probably me. Even though I would hate it. D:

Who is the loudest?
Tie between me and Alex.

Who is the clown?
Clowns are scary!! DDDD:

Who is the one you go to talk to the most?
Eh. I'd go o any of them.

Who is the one that always comes up with stupid ideas?
Me, Kovu, and Alex.

Whos in bed first?
Depending on how you take that...... Kovu.

If someone woke everyone up with pots and pans who would it be?
Me. :]

Who is always dancing?
Kovu.

Someone has the same sweater as you, do you get mad?
No.

You spill ice cream on the floor, who the first to slip on it?
Me. xD

Who tries to break out of the house first ?
Jayson.

Who would get the most annoyed first and last?
Jayson, then me and Alex, then Kovu.

Who would have the most fun?
Everyone because I'd make them! :'D
Or Kovu because he'd be getting laid a lot. xD

who would make us all run out of food?
KOVU! D:

Who would put in the indoor pool?
Me, Kovu, and Alex. Then Jayson would say it was a stupid idea and kill our fun. Then we'd throw hm in. <3

Who would break something first?
Either me or Alex.

The year is up, who is the first out the door?
Jayson. Fer sure.

Well that was fun! :'D
You guys should do this. :]

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Little survey is little. :3 http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25374512/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25374512/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 14:02:35 PDT Have you ever had your heart broken?
Meh. Not really. It's been hurt quite a bit though.

If so, what happened?
Just some stuff.

Do you believe in second chances?
It depends on who the person is.

If you could go back in time and change something would you? What would it be?
I would get up off my fat behind and work out some.

What was your favorite year of your life so far? And why?
I don't think I had a favourite year. Something bad always happens.

Who taught you the most about life? How?
Probably Matt, because he's one part of my second half.

If you could be any where right now were would it be?
In England. I wonder why.

What song did you last listen to?
Ummm..... The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars.

Who were the last people you hung out with?
Kalie.

I bet you miss someone right now huh?
I do. :\

Are you more of a day dreamer or more logical?
Can't you be logical and daydream at the same time?

Do you believe there is one match for everyone in this world?
Only if people want to be matched with someone.

If you could buy a new life would you, were would you go?
I wouldn't buy a new life. But I'd move. Far away from here.

If you could run away would you, who would you take?
If I wouldn't hurt people in the process, then yes. I would. I'd take Kiya, Kalie, and Cord.

What was your last dream about?
Adam Lambert and the Rugrats. o_O
Don't ask. I don't understand either. xD

Can you name 10 or more people you truly care about?
[[in no particular order]]
Jayson, Kiya, Alex, Matt, Jared, Alexxion, Kovu, Chase, Erik, Damion, Josh, Cord, and Kalie.
That's thirteen. But who cares. :3

Think back to when you were little, what was your favorite class?
Music and art.

Who was your best friend?
Stephany.

Are they still?
We're both really different now... but I'd say yes. She's still one of my best friends.

If you could spend eternity with someone who would it be?
I would want to spend eternity with a lot of people.

Who was your all time favorite super hero?
Captain Hair! xDDDD
[[Whose Line is it Anyway? inside joke. Don't try to understand. xD]]

Would you rather be a vampire, zombie, or pirate?
Vampire. But I sure as hell wouldn't sparkle.

Is there something you need to say someone but you canÂt or arenÂt?
Yes. Yes there is.

Have you ever been in love?
I am currently. <3

Do you prefer Del taco or taco bell?
I don't like mexican food. And I've never heard of Del Taco.

Do you prefer burger king or MacDonaldÂs?
There's not two A's in McDonalds. I prefer SubWay.
But if I must choose - McDonald's.

Bean and cheese or steak burrito?
Gross. Neither.

Whopper or big Mac?
Neither.
A double cheesburger and a large sweet tea will do me just fine. :]

would you ever get back together with one of yours ex's?
n/a

Are you still friends with any of your exÂs? If so who, if not, why not?
n/a

HowÂs summer going lately, who have you spent the most time with?
It's going great. I've been hanging out with Kalie. <3

Do you believe that true love will always come back to you in they end?
If you want it t, then yes.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears My sex age is... http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25319733/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25319733/ Sun, 14 Jun 2009 23:51:32 PDT [ ] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[ ] You own more than one credit card
[X] You know how to change the oil in a car
[X] You've done your own laundry
[ ] You vote in every election
[X] You can cook for yourself
[ ] You think politics are exciting
TOTAL SO FAR: 4

[X] You show up for school late alot
[X] You always carry a pen in your bag/purse/poket
[ ] You've never gotten a detention
[X] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[X] You like to take walks by yourself
[X] You know what credibility means, without looking it up
[X] You drink caffeine at least once a week
TOTAL SO FAR: 10

[X] You know how to do the dishes
[X] You can count to 10 in another language
[ ] When you say you're going to do something you do it
[X] You can mow the lawn
[X] You study when you have to
[X] You have hand washed a car before
TOTAL SO FAR: 15

[X] You can spell experience, without looking it up
[X] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[ ] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[X] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine
[X] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need
[X] You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[X] You can type pretty quick
TOTAL SO FAR: 21

[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[X] You have been to a Tupperware party [[I was forced]]
[ ] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay
[X] You have been to the beach
[ ] You use the internet every day
[ ]You have been outside of America 3 or more times
[ ] You make your own bed everyday
TOTAL: 23

My sex age is 23. What does that mean? ><

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Long survey is lonnnggggg http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25319637/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25319637/ Sun, 14 Jun 2009 23:40:23 PDT Don't say I didn't warn you.

~~~

Are you ready for a long survey that actually has some new questions?
Sure.

First off, you like boys right?
Boys in tight pants and eyeliner. :]

Ever kissed a Mike, Kevin, or Nick?
No.

Do you tend to fall for players?
Nope.

Will you have a boyfriend in 2 months?
I hope so! D:

Have you ever had a best friend?
No. I HAVE a best friend. Thanks. :]

What does the song you're listening to remind you of?
I don't know. It kind of reminds me of myself. o_O

Last person you talked on the phone with?
Dad.

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?
Yes I did.

Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
I had a headache all day.

Is there anybody you're disappointed in right now?
I hope not. :[

If you are being extremely quiet what d.oes that mean?
I'm extremely upset.

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
It depends on who I'm around.

Are you happy?
Now? Not really.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night. Mornings are my kryptonite.

Do you want to get married?
Eventually.

What were you doing at 1am this morning?
Watching TV.

WHAT:
I was tellin Mom that I felt like crap and asking if I could go back to bed.

ARE YOU:
Short?
No.

HAVE YOU MADE:
A mistake this past week?
Not that I'm aware of.

DO YOU KNOW: The Muffin Man?! xDDDD Just kidding.

Anyone with the same name as you?
A couple.

WHEN WAS:
The last time you really laughed?
Too long ago.

Have you ever broke a flip flop?
I don't wear flip flops.

Have you ever been a vegetarian?
No. I'm pretty much carnivorous.

Where is your father right now?
Sleeping.

If you could pick someone to just "disappear" and nobody would care..who would it be?
Not sure.

Do you keep your friends close, but your enemies closer?
No. I keep my enemies very far away. Revenge is juvenile.

Is there just some people that you don't get along with?
yes.

Who have you hugged today?
Noone. :\

Tell me about the shirt you're wearing?
It's a black t-shirt and has a white graphic thing on it.

Whats currently bothering you right now?
Jayson's IM is broken.

What are you currently hearing?
The aor conditioner.

When were you last outside?
A couple hours ago.

What was the first thing you thought this morning?
'Ugh. My freaking HEAD. ><'

Are you afraid of the dark?
Nah. Just the things in it. :]

Who did you last say I love you to?
Mom?

Have a best friend?
Yes I do. <3

Are you gonna get high later?
No. Definitely above the influence.

Who was the last person to text you?
Kiya.

Who was the last person you had a phone conversation with for more than 2 minutes?
leianne.

When is your birthday?
January.

If MySpace made you pay would you still use it?
Definitely not. I hardly use it now, and it's free.

Who is your number one on myspace?
Kiya.

Would you ever consider piercing your lip?
Yes. I'm goig to as soon as I move out of the house.

Do you toss & turn for hours at night or fall right to sleep?
Toss and turn like hell.

Has anyone ever hung up on you?
yep.

Do you have unlimited texting?
No.

Are you a forgiving person?
Yes. It's almost impossible for me to hold a grudge.

Ever had a boy best friend?
I HAVE one. And he's fabulous. <3

Do you straighten your hair often?
Yes.

What did you do this weekend?
Went to my nephew's baseball games, rode my horse, drove to Wal-Mart, bought a two-pound bag of Sour Patch Kids... and some other stuff.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
No! D:

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
Sure?

Do you think anyone's thinking about you right now?
I hope. <3

Last argument?
Yesterday.

What are you doing Sunday?
I'll be leaving for Georgia.

Do you have a brother?
I have two half-brothers. I love them dearly.

Do you do your own laundry?
Most of the time. Mom helps me if I have a lot.

Have you ever wondered how seedless watermelons are, well, seedless?
No. It's a scientific process where they inject the juvenile vi... ]]> ~HoldingBackTears Pain. . . http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25300263/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25300263/ Sat, 13 Jun 2009 23:16:41 PDT comes in so many forms.

I miss Kiya terribly. She's on vacation, and I haven't talked to her in a very long time. I need to hear her voice, because I have noone else to talk to.
Jayson is off God knows where, I haven't heard from him in days.
Alex isn't speaking to me, and it's slowly killing me.
My mom is being somewhat more resonable, but a lot less like herself.
It looks like a bear clawed down my arm. Not even kidding. I was trail riding with Stephany, and I must've gotten into something. It couldn't have been poison ivy, poison oak, or poison soomek - because I'm not allergic to any of them. But it was something. My arm started itching like mad, so I scatched it. However, I must have been scratching it terribly while I was sleeping, because I woke up yesterday morning to several bloody gashes and raw streaks down the entire length of my forearm [[at least that's what the story is]]. Dad's afraid that I'm going to get staph infection, and Mom's afraid it'll turn into merca. Or however you spell that. It hurts like mad and it stings like a beast. It makes me feel stupid for doing it to myself, yet I feel better at the same time.

I don't know how to handle things anymore, and I'm afraid of what'll become of me if I can't get ahold of it.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears WHY?! http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25270514/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25270514/ Fri, 12 Jun 2009 10:12:41 PDT WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!
I was doing geometry and english while talking on the phone with my friend Sarah. Dad came in and asked me what I was doing. I told him.
Then he yelled at me for being on the phone and doing scoolwork at the same time, because schoolwork is more important than socializing. At this point in time, yes, I would agree with him. But it's possible to do both at the same time. I CAN multi-task, you know.
I have straight A's for the first time since fourth grade, so apparently whatevr I'm doing is working for me.
Leave me alone and let me live my life. If things start going wrong, then you can yell at me. But as long as I'm doing well, please; just let me be.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Maybe http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25263020/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25263020/ Thu, 11 Jun 2009 21:18:42 PDT I haven't been doing anything right lately.
My mouth's been getting me in trouble, at lest that's what Mom says. I don't ever remember being rude or mouthy. My friends don't think I have been either. Maybe they're just saying that to make me feel better.
My mom threw a huge fit in front of so many people today. Just because I said I wanted my lip pierced. She said "not until you're eightteen years old, you're not." I told her I was fully aware of that, because the rule was - anything you want pierced besides your ears has to wait until you're legal. Then she proceeded to tell me I couldn't get it done period until I was out of the house. So I told her that I would move out. She then proceeded to try to guilt trip me. "If getting your lip pierced means more to you than living with your parents, then you go right ahead." I was planning on moving out when was eightteen anyway, even before I wanted my lip pierced. She knew this.
Then I started talking about belly button rings, because my friend had JUST gotten hers done, and I had gone with her to hold her hand. She started going off about how she saw belly button rings as "sexual". "You can't tell me that if some guy saw some girl with a nice figure and a belly button ring.... you can't tell me he wouldn't think that was hot." News flash Mom, belly button rings aren't sexual. At least they aren't to 99% of the Floridian population. Almost everone has a belly button ring in Florida. Even guys.
Anyway, she was making this huge deal about it and yelling at me in front of everyone. I was so flaming livid. I had to walk away before I broke down and cried right there. My anger is hard-wired to my tear ducts, so it would've been really bad to let my anger go right then.
I'm so tired of it. She's been yelling at me a lot lately. I think it's something that I'm doing wrong. I'm sure it is. She wouldn't yell at me for no reason. I don't know what reason it is, though.
Maybe she shouldn't need a reason. I'm not worth much anyway, if anything at all. Maybe I'm just stupid. Maybe I should just get used to it.
I will.
I have to.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Fetish..... http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25227091/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25227091/ Tue, 09 Jun 2009 23:15:15 PDT Of surveys. xD

Who was the last person that texted you?
Shannon.

What's something you really want right now?
Him. <3

How many piercings do you have?
Two. Soon to be more.

What are you doing right now?
Doing this survey. :'D

Do you believe in forever?
yes. :]

If you could change your eye color, what would it be?
Either green or really light brown. OR PURPLE! C:

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
From a few people.

Has anyone told you that you had pretty eyes?
Yes.

Is there anyone you know that deserves to get slapped?
YES. D:<

Dark hair or light hair in the opposite sex?
Dark.

Is there anyone you don't like to go a day without talking to?
Yes. :\

Anything you would change about your life right now?
I wish I had a tablet, a nikon D90, and most of all - I wish I was closer to him.

Where was your default picture taken?
My bathroom? I think?

Have you ever lost a close friend?
Yeah. :\

What is your current mood?
Meh. Okay I guess.

How many siblings do you have?
Three.

Angry at anyone?
Not anymore.

What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
Him. <3

Which friend lives closest to you?
Uhhhh...... Sarah.

Who was the last person to make you sad?
Matt. But he's all better now. :]

Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
Duh. lol

What jewelery are you currently wearing?
Just my gauges.

When was the last time you saw someone attractive?
Ummmm..... couple days ago?

Are you scareâd of losinâg the persoân you like to someoâne else?â
Nope. :]

What happeâned at 9:00 am todayâ?â
I was waiting for Leianne to wake up. xD

The last food you ate?
Watermlon

Do you deletâe peoplâe off of myspaâce?â
yes I do.

Did you cry at all todayâ?â
yeah. :\

Do you trustâ anyonâe?â
Just a few.

What is the last thingâ you got in troubâle for with your parenâts?â
Ummm.... I don't remember. But it was probably for talking back and raising my voice.

Do you belieâve that if you want sometâhing bad enougâh you'âll get it?
Ehhh...... to an extent.

How long have you and your numbeâr one knownâ each oâther?â
LONNNNGGGGGG time.

Are you textiâng anyboâdy?â
Not at the moment.

How many peoplâe do you have a "âthingâ"â for rightâ now?
Just one. <333

Do you thinkâ you will be in a relatâionshâip threeâ monthâs from now?
I hope. :]

What'âs on your bedroâom floorâ rightâ now?
SO MUCH STUFF. D:

Do you remember song lyrics easily?
Very.

Chinese or Mexican food?
Bleh. Italian. <3

What time is curfew?
I don't think I have one.

Ever gotten stitches?
Yep.

Have a happy childhood?
For the most part.

What would I find under your bed?
Nothing. I have one of those drawer-beds.

Do you know how to dive?
Yes I do.

Does the sun bother you?
Yes. D:

When do you plan on movinâg out of your parenâts houseâ?â
As soon as I'm leagal. I'm going to England. :]

Whereâ'âs the last placeâ you got Mexicâan food?â
Bleh.

Are you a flirtâ?â
Not really.

Has anyonâe told you a secreât that if told wouldâ causeâ some dramaâ?â
Yeah/

Would you ever get your eyebrâow piercâed?â
Meh. I might. I don't plan on it though.

Besidâes an animaâl,â do you know what a cougaâr is?
yes.

Ever kissed someone who's name starts with an A or S?
I'm not explaining the story to you, so I'm going to say no in order to save you confusion. lol

What about J or Z?
Again, not explaining the story. lol

When's the last time you said you were okay, but really weren't?
Today. :\

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
Couple daysago.

Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
I'm sure.

Do you laugh a lot?
Meh. Kinda.

Did you say fuck today?
I don't think so.

Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
At all times. <33

Ever been lied to by someone you thought would never lie to you?
Yes. ;~~~~;

What did you do last weekend?
I don't remember. D:

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
n/a

What was the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
Diet Coke
<... ]]> ~HoldingBackTears So..... http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25225125/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25225125/ Tue, 09 Jun 2009 20:34:16 PDT We had this HUGE - and yes, I do mean huge - tub of watermelon... and Dad downed three-quarters of it in a single night. I'm so mad. I love watermelon, and now I hardly have any. *sad violin music*
ANYWAY. Survey time! :'D
Or journal fetish and Nyssa calls it. lol

If your father dies before your wedding who will walk you down the aisle?
That's a horrible terrible question! D:
I guess it would be my brother or something. :\

Pick a maid of honor and three bridesmaids:
Maid of honor: Kiya.
BridesMEN: Jayson, Matt, and Kovu..... and everyone eelse I love because I feel bad leaving people out. D:

How many times have you gotten into a argument with the last person you kissed?
n/a

Last night, what did you do?
Talked to Kinkman. <3

Have you ever had a panic attack?
Yes. D:

Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
Too damn far away. ;~~~~~;

Have you ever met anyone famous?
Yes. But mildly famous.

What is your favorite color?
Black, red, white, purple.

Do you think relationships are hard?
Not unless you make them that way.

Do you think you have made a change in someones life?
I certainly hope so. :]

Your last text message, what does it say?
"lol"

Has someone ever broken your heart?
Yeah. :\

Are you Irish in any way?
Just a wee bit.

Are you a type of person who cares what people say about you?
Unfortunately.

Has anyone lied to you today?
I don't believe so.

Have you recently lost someone that means everything to you?
No, thank God.

Do you send chain messages?
I try not to.

Would you ever call your #1 baby?
babycakes. :]

If you get a chance to move somewhere where would you move?
England.

When's the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
A couple days ago.

Honestly, if you could go back and change something in the past 5 months would you?
Not that I'm aware of.

Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
Not sure. :\

Where were you at midnight friday night?
Ummm..... here. lol

How many 20 dollar bills do you have on you right now?
Three?

The person next to you, who is it?
My imaginary friend. D:

When is the next time you'll see the second person on your top?
I have no idea.

Do you think money buys happiness?
Most definitely not.

Do you understand football?
To a certain extent.

The last person you texted, is the person a he or a she?
She.

How was your day?
Okay.

What did you do today?
Leianne's house, schoolwork, rode my horse, library, home.

What is your favorite cartoon character?
Kovu ftw! :'D

At the moment do you terribly miss someone?
Yes I do. ;~~;

Who is your favorite basketball team?
I don't like basketball.

Would you ever live with anyone on your top friends?
Sure I guess.

Have you stayed the night with any of your top friends? How many?
Yes most of them.

Do you have good vision?
Extremely.

What kind of phone do you have?
Razor that I painted to make it look pretty. :]

Would you ever get your nipples pierced?
Um, no. D:
That would hurt WAY bad.

Did you ever have tea parties when you were younger?
No. I had mud pie parties. :]

What is your favorite line from a movie?
"I want to make'uh you silky smooth" - Don't Mess with the Zohan.

Would you rather be the opposite sex?
Meh. Not for FOREVER. But it'd be fun to try.

Do you like spending time with your parents?
I guess, yeah.

What would you do if you saw a guy hit a girl?
I would beat him until he couldnt stand up.

Have you ever gambled?
Does monopoly count? D:

What is the lowest grade you've ever gotten?
An F. Duh. lol

What magazine do you read or look through most often?
Seventeen. :]

]]> ~HoldingBackTears I know my ABC's! :D http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25218067/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25218067/ Tue, 09 Jun 2009 13:56:31 PDT A - Available?
Nope. :]

B - Best Friend(s)?
I have a few.

C - CRUSH?
GRAB SHELL, DUDE! : D
Lawl. I love Finding Nemo.

D - DOGS NAME?
Buddy and Splash

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO?
Uhhh... probably Erik.

F - Favorite Food?
Cookies! : D

G - GUMMY BEARS OR WORMS?
Sour Patch Kids. >:3

H - HOMETOWN?
Your mom. lolwut? O_O

I - IF YOU COULD MOVE WOULD YOU?
Absolutely.

J - JOB?
Mhmm.

K - KIDS?
NEVER. D:

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE?
13 hours. D:

M - MILK FLAVOR?
chocolate. :]

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS?
Three

O - ONE WISH?
To be closer to him. <3

P - PHOBIA(S)?
Clowns, needles, artichokes

Q - FAVORITE QUOTE?
"I'm so caffenated. I feel like a tweaker with Parkinson's."

R - REASON TO SMILE?
I have people that love me. :3

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD?
Mad World - Adam Lambert

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP?
Which time?
I woke up for good at 5:30 am.

U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME?
I secretly love Matt Dallas. But that's not really a secret. xD

V - VEGETABLES YOU LOVE?
Ummm.... potatoes and green beans? o_O

W - WORST HABIT?
I talk so loudly. D:

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD?
My ankle.

Y - YOUR MOM?
Is spectacular. :'D

Z - ZODIAC SIGN?
Capricorn.

YOUR TURN! : DDD

]]> ~HoldingBackTears This is really getting annoying. http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25196414/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25196414/ Mon, 08 Jun 2009 11:40:36 PDT I'm starting to annoy myself. SOMEONE STOP ME!

Have you kissed the last person you texted?
No.

Have you ever fallen asleep thinking about a boy/girl?
Many times. :]

Do you have a favorite pair of jeans?
Definitely. <3

Do you have Twitter?
No. I don't know what twitter is or why everyone is so obsessed with it.

Would you rather study a foreign language or history?
Foreign laguage.

Do you like to draw?
Love it! : D

Do you screen your calls?
Meh. Not really.

Have you ever had a walkman?
I don't think so. O_O

Do you use Mozilla Firefox?
Nope. :]

Do you believe in a God?
Yes I do.

Who is your favorite person to hug?
If I could actually factually hug them, then definitely Alex - Jayson comes right after. BUT. If they're touchable - Kiya.

Do you ever wish you were a different race?
No. xD

Have you ever talked a friend out of suicide?
Yes. And I'm SO glad I did. I'd be dead without him.

Do you understand politics?
Not anymore.

Have you ever been pushed into a pool?
Yes. xD

What's the most outrageous Halloween costume you've ever worn?
The ones I make up at the last minute.

Do you believe in forever?
Sure.

Whats the last message in your inbox say?
I don't remember! D:

Do you have any plans for the weekend?
Not that I'm aware of.

Has someone ever made you a promise and broke it?
yeah.

Do you delete people off of MySpace?
I don't add people I don't know.

Last time you talked to your number one?
Like... 11:00 last night.

Do you think you'll be married in 5 years?
Eh... I don't know.

Last time you hit someone? why?
I can't remember.

Is there anyone you will never forget?
Definitely. There's a few.

Does anything hurt on your body?
My head.

What are you listening to right now, why?
The TV because I'm too lazy to get up and turn it off.

Did you ever ruin your chances with someone?
Big time. xD

Is your room clean?
For the most part.

How many pillows do you sleep with?
A lot.

Does anyone annoy you?
YES. D:<

Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
NO! D: I love Kiya!

Do you need to say anything to anyone?
Yeah, I do.

Does anyone have the shirt your wearing?
probably, but no-one I know has it.

Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a bed?
n/a

Do you still talk to the person you were dating 4 months ago?
n/a

Where EXACTLY were you when you entered 2009?
My house? o_O

What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
Not sure. But I wouldn't be happy, I can tell you that much.

Do you own an iPod?
PSP's do it better. :]

Do you find it difficult to sleep on your stomach?
Kinda sorta.

Ever been kissed on the neck?
Yes.

Do you think you are an argumentative person?
When I know I'm right about something.

Do you believe everything you hear?
Definitely not.

Is there anyone you really can't stop thinking about?
Alex. <3

If you could spend one day with any celebrity, doing anything you wanted, who would it be and what would you do?
Adam Lambert. Do I really need to nswer that second part? xDDDDD

How would you rate the last book that you read?
I'm currently reading "A Great and Terrible Beauty". It's AMAZING.

Do you know anyone that plays guitar?
yes I do.

How skilled are you at HTML?
I know enough to get by.

How do you eat your spaghetti? do you twirl it, or cut it?
I don't know. I don't eat it enouh to remember.

How informed are you about current events?
Maa. I on't know.

What are your thoughts on the woman that recently had octuplets, after having six children already?
She's stupid. So stupid. The woman goes and has 14 kids JUST for thegovernment benefits, then she opens up a website where she can receive donations???? That's messed up.

How do you think that you would handle having that many children?
I would kill myself. I don't even want ONE kind. Much less friggin fourteen.

Would you rather live in a crowded city, or in the middle of nowhere?
How about someplace out in the country? Happy medium. :]

Are you the type that prefers kisses or hugs?
Both at the same time. <333

Do you prefe... ]]> ~HoldingBackTears Oh noes! D: http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25194781/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25194781/ Mon, 08 Jun 2009 09:55:53 PDT Not another journal! The world's gonna die. D:
xDD Not really. [[I hope. O_O]]

1) Post these rules
2) post 8 things about urself on this journal
3) at the end u must tag 8 ppl and post their icons on the same journal
4) leave a message on the ppl u tagged
5) NO TAG BACKS! PLZ

1. My socks hardly ever match.
2. I have very strong political veiws, but I never voice them.
3. I wish I was pretty.
4. I love Kakashi Hatake with a firey passion.
5. I love discovering new music.
6. I really like these survey things, even though they're annoying as hell.
7. I procrastinate so badly sometimes that I want to kill myself.
8. I'm in love. :3

I will not tag! D:

I still want you people to as me questions.

I've found that it's quite fun answering them :]
SEE HERE! [link] Those are the guidelines and ideas for your questions. :]

]]> ~HoldingBackTears ASK AWAY http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25187106/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25187106/ Sun, 07 Jun 2009 20:30:35 PDT I stole this idea from =InorganicBoy. C:

I have lots of wonderful people watching me, and I watch lots of wonderful people. But I hardly know anything about any of them.

That means you. :3

SO. I'm challenging you people. Ask me anythingyou want. Anything at all. There are no limits on questions. If I find one is a tad too personal, then I'll tell you to ask another one.

ASK PEOPLE! ASK!

Then I'll ask you stuff.

ANYWAY.

Do it. :3

]]> ~HoldingBackTears I love you, dearest. <3 http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25168729/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25168729/ Sat, 06 Jun 2009 20:45:54 PDT It's been one year on this day that I met him. I love him so much it's almost rediculous considering the fact that it's platonic and he's gay.
Many times I've failed him, but he's never left.
Many times I've pissed him off, but he's always forgiven me.
He understands the fact that I'm not without flaws, and he still loves me - flaws and all.
I could never ask for anyone better to call my best friend.
Jayson Adiema Newport.
I love you.
Happy anniversary.

ON ANOTHER NOTE.
It was my sister's birthday yesterday. I didn't get to see her; which sucked pretty bad. ;~~~;
I'm working on her gift art as we speak. I really hope she likes it, because I can't draw worth a shit. But it's the thought that counts right?! :'D
Happy one-day-late birthday, Kiya. :]
I love you. <333

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Kellyology. <3 http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25142555/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25142555/ Fri, 05 Jun 2009 12:05:33 PDT

<--- this is my pet sheep. 8D

^{FOODOLOGY

1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
Ranch ftw. :]

2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Uhhhhhhhhhhhh...... probably Roadhouse. Or anyplace that has mozzarella sticks. xD

3. What food could you eat everyday for two weeks and not get sick of?
If I ate anything that often, I would kill myself.

4. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Sausage and pepperoni. :]

5. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Tie.

TECHNOLOGY

1. How many televisions are in your house?
Three.

2. Do you have a laptop?
I use it all the time.

3. Do you have a desktop?
Yeah, but it's broken. *sad violin music*

4. Do you have an MP3 player?
PSP. And I love it something fierce.

5. What is your favorite piece of technology currently?
Definately tablets. Even though I don't have one. ;~~~;

BIOLOGY

1. Are you right - handed or left- handed?
Right

2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Umm..... no?

3. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My couch.

4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
No. [[Yes, I' extrememly surprised as well. ]]

STUFFOLOGY

1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Absolutely not.

2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Ummm..... I'm not sure to be quite honest. I really like Ace, but that's a guy name. D: And I can't see myself as anything besides a Kelly.

3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
It depends on how big the bottle was.

DUMBOLOGY

1. How many pairs of flip flops do you have?
I think two. But I never ever wear them. Ever. I'm serious. I live in converse.

2. Last time you had a run- in with the cops?
Never.

3. Last person you talked to?
Jayson.

4. Last person you hugged?
My brother. It was his birthday. :]

FAVOURITOLOGY

1. Season?
I like different seasons for different reasons. [[lawl rhyme]] I LOVE autumn because of the colours, I love winter because of the snow and the cold weather, and I like spring because of all the pretty colours and little baby animals everywhere. :3 I flat out hate summer. Too hot, too humid,too bug-infested.

2. Holiday?
Christmas or St. Patrick's Day

3. Day of the week?
I'm homeschooled, so it doesn't really matter to me. I seem to like Thursdays for some reason though.

4. Month?
Autumn months and winter months. I have no particular favourite.

CURRENTOLOGY

1. Mood?
Meh.

2. What are you listening to?
Red - Chevelle [[Thank you, Erik Whinters! ]]

3. Watching?
Your mom. No. Not really.

RANDOMOLOGY

4. First place you went this morning?
Outside to walk the dogs.

5. What's the last movie you saw?
Don't Mess with the Zohan. It was SO. FUNNY. I love you, Adam Sandler. <3

6. Do you smile often?
When I'm around people, yeah.

7. Do you always answer your phone?
Normally.

8. It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Leianne.

9. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
A natural one? Green. If I could have ANY colour. I'd definately want purple.

10. Do you own a digital camera?
My mom does. It sucks so bad.

11. Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yes. My goldfish. That thing lived for two freaking years. R.I.P, Bob. <333 ;~~~:

12. Favorite Christmas song(s)?
Definitely Jeff Foxworthy's version of the Twelve Days of Christmas. That shit is hilarious. xD

13. What's on your wish list for your birthday?
Adam Lambert. ;~~~~; *fangirl tears*
But really.
A tablet [[if I don't buy it myself]], a Nikon D90, and some money to buy make up.

14. Can you do push ups?
Not well.

15. Can you do a chin up?
HAH. No. xD

16. Does the future make you nervous or excited?<... ]]>} ~HoldingBackTears SO MANY... http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25090619/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25090619/ Tue, 02 Jun 2009 14:44:39 PDT pointless journals.

what's your.....?

favorite animal:
Giraffe, zebra, snake

favorite drink:
Venom.

favorite singer:
ADAM LAMBERT. : DDDD

favorite show:
Cureent: Glee.
All time favourite: Kyle XY. Even though they don't play it anymore.

favorite website:
dA

favorite place to shop:
hottopic

favorite color:
black, red, white, purple

This or that...

lake or pond?
Lake.

A, B or C?
C

Outside or inside?
Outside if it's cold, inside if it's hot.

foil or plastic wrap?
Foil.

hamburger or taco?
hamburger

meal or snack?
Meal.

Wii or xbox?
Wii.

Love or hate?
Love.

1 or 2?
2.

summer or winter?
Winter.

hairspray or hair gel?
Hairspray.

yogurt or pudding?
Pudding.

flip flops or sneakers?
Sneakers.

Soda or water?
soda

funny or sad?
Funny.

goo or clay?
clay

shiny or sparkly?
Sparkly

small or big?
Big.

happy or sad?
Happy.

fiction or non-fiction?
Fiction.

bright or dull?
Bright.

cat or dog?
both.

fish or snake?
Snake.

odd or even?
odd

smooth or bumpy?
Smooth.

awake or asleep?
Awake

fruit or vegtables?
Fruit.

car or bus?
Car.

old or young?
young

never or always?
Always.

interesting survey or weird survey?
waste of time

]]> ~HoldingBackTears Read please? :'D http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25089695/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/25089695/ Tue, 02 Jun 2009 13:55:25 PDT Start at the very beginning, what's your name?
Kelly.

Are you a bitch?
No.

Whats your relationship status?
Top sercret. :3

Where did you find your icon?
A friend made it for me.

What did you do last night?
I rode my horse, and did school work.

Is the last person you kissed mad at you?
n/a

Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
Most definitely.

Are you happy with the way things are going?
I suppose so.

Sleep on your back or stomach?
Side.

What were you doing before this survey?
Writing an essay and singing Mad World. :'D

What will you do after the survey?
Hell if I know.

Do you tend to rip the paper off water bottles?
Um.... no?

Current song on MySpace?
To Hell and Back - Blessthefall, The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars, Don't Trust Me - 3OH!3

When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep?
My alarm clock doesn't wake me up.

What are you looking forward to in the next few months?
Getting all my school work done.

It's Wednesday night, where are you usually?
At my house. [[I have no life.]]

Have you ever been with someone while they were throwing up?
Yes. [[ew. ><]]

What animal do you never want as a pet?
Tarantula D:

Whats the status between you and the last person you text messaged?
Umm..... I can't remember. xD

Have you ever done something illegal with a family member?
No?

Who was the last person you danced with?
No-one. Because I can't dance.

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings?
n/a

Are you ticklish?
Not really.

Do you think you could live with your best friend?
Jayson? Of course I could. I could never live with Kiya. It's the sister rival thing. She'd agree. :]

Who do you tell everything to?
Specific people.

Have you ever felt like you werenÂt good enough?
ALLLLLLL the time.

Do you know a lot of people with the same cell phone as you?
Not a whole lot.

What do you really think of Starbucks Coffee?
I love it so much! ^3^

Do you think you've changed over the past year?
Of course. Hasn't everyone?

Can you hide your emotions?
Only with certain people.

Do you wear glasses?
No.

What are you listening to?
Nothing.

Do you listen to music everyday?
Yes.

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
ummmmm....... xDDDDDDDD
Sorry. I was thinking about what Jayson would say if he got asked this question. xDDD
The last thing I put in my mouth was a cookie. :3

Who knows you the best?
Kiya, Jayson, Alex, Matt, and Jared. And Kovu on occasion.

What is the weather like?..
Overcast. I wish it would rain.

Have you cried today at all?
Yes.

Take any medication?
Yes.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
I have about 10.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
To an extent.

Do you get nervous with public speaking?
Meh. Not really.

What do you carry with you at all times?
My phone and my keys.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
Always. Click it or ticket, yo. [[*dork*]]

Do you smile often?
Not really.

Are you one of the girl/guys addicted to Hollister?
I hate that store something fierce.

Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
Yeah.

What is the last movie you watched?
Prince Caspian. It made me cry. ;~~~~;

WhenÂs the last time you had gummy worms?
Too long ago! D:

Can you do push-ups?
Barely. XD

Do you think two people can last forever?
Absolutely.

Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now?
No clue. Probably not.

Last time you talked to your number one?
Last night.

]]> ~HoldingBackTears WTF! WHY!? D:< http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/24872384/ http://HoldingBackTears.deviantart.com/journal/24872384/ Thu, 21 May 2009 11:53:23 PDT Do you have any idea how mad I am? I mean seriously.
American Idol has betrayed me.
Kris won over Adam? Wtf is up with that?!
I mean I like Kris, don't get me wrong - but he certainly shouldn't have won over Adam. And I'm not just saying that because I love Adam something fierce. Adam is amazing. There' no denying that. He's got mad vocal skills. Who hits those notes? I mean honestly. I have trouble hitting notes that high, and I'm a chick. But he hits them effortlessly. And he came in second. That's bullcrap.
The only reason he lost was because Kris picked up all of Danny's fans after Danny got voted off. Kris should have gone a long time ago. He should have gone when Alison went. That was bullcrap. I loved Alison. It should have been between Adam and her. Then I wouldn't have minded so much if Adam lost.
This is stupid. I don't care what America says, Adam Lambert is still the American Idol. So stick that one in your juicebox and suck it.

ON ANOTHER NOTE. [[lawl topic change]]
I tried playing the Impossible Quiz. It's so hard. ><

That's all for now.

Somebody talk to me. I'm bored. :]

]]> ~HoldingBackTears