http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:HotaruSeena&section=today deviantART RSS for by:HotaruSeena en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:24:06 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/28758181/ http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/28758181/ Sat, 05 Dec 2009 02:14:15 PST It's amazin to be home =] Everything is just suddenly so much better =]

Btw I'm asking you peoples if any of you could make a logo and picture for me.
I'm in a Modern Warefare 2 clan{it's so much fun haha} called Most Feared 13 and we're on game battles and everything. I'd love it if someone could make us something!

The logo would have to be 64x64 pixels and the the picture couldn't be any bigger than 300x200 pixels.

We want the logo to have MF13 in it if possible, and the picture would have Most Feared 13, and we would want it to look scary, that way it'd go with the name. It could have 13 scary lookin wolves or somethin too idk, we just want it to look scary. Haha, just a request people. =]

Please and Thank You

]]> ~HotaruSeena http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/27751419/ http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/27751419/ Tue, 13 Oct 2009 19:01:13 PDT
I've been in a better mood though lately, so that's a good thing.

I don't really know what to put today =/

But I decided to go and rewrite my story, cause I've been thinking about it and I just wanna re-do the whole thing. Plus I'm typing up a super weird dream I had the other night. Ima post it once I'm done typing it, and I'm not going to alter the dream at all so you'll see my hyper active imagination at play. Haha. You'll prolly be sitting there reading it thinking what in the world?

BTW if you have not listened to Beautiful by Eminem go freaking listen to it right this second. It's sooooooooooooooooooooooo good. And super true.

]]> ~HotaruSeena http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/27558145/ http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/27558145/ Sat, 03 Oct 2009 12:21:18 PDT
I remember the last time I was sitting in the lobby with her last time I was with her. We were laughing with the nurses debating over who we would have if we could have a Celebritiy boyfriend. I couln't choose between Gerard Butler or Taylor Lautner. She choose Will Smith. We were all laughing so hard that we were crying. She and I both had to get a blood transfusion. I regret not saying good bye to her that day.. Ugh, it hurts so bad.

On a lighter note my cancer is slowly dying, the tumor still isnt shrinking but it is dying. And I'm about to start cycle 11 chemotherapy outta 14 cycles. In other words about about to go home. I can't wait, I'm so home sick that I'm seriously getting sick from it. Raidiation is going just fine for me. But the weightloss is kicking in, I'm just slowly starting to lose my weight and I'm just not eating as much.

Cancer is hell in almost all ways possible. I wouldn't even think about wishing on it on anyone.

]]> ~HotaruSeena http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/26532180/ http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/26532180/ Tue, 11 Aug 2009 17:02:51 PDT
Well, my tumor has not shrunk at all. But, it's dying from the inside out.

Then we talked to the surgeon and she said because the tumor is so big(and don't forget it's on my pelvic bone and all over my pelvic area) and that since it takes up 2/3s of my pelvis the surgery will be MAJOR. To save the leg she'd have to save 2 outta 3 things, the nerves, hip joint, and Sciatic nerve. Well, she wouldn't be able to save the Sciatic nerver and hip joint, so the surgery would be an amputation. She'd had to completely remove my right leg. So of course we said no to the surgery.

Now when it comes to the raidiation the doctor said she could kill the cancer, no problem. And the only side effects to that would be freakin soreness and diarrhea. That's it. We're doing raidiation.

And also we found out that my tumor is not active. Which is great.

]]> ~HotaruSeena http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/25273606/ http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/25273606/ Fri, 12 Jun 2009 13:15:29 PDT
I miss my baby sooooo much though. I miss my Chika, she turned 6 months yesterday, that means she's getting closer to bein full grown and I'm prolly gonna cry when I do see her cause I missed her growing from a lil puppy to a big puppy. God I miss her. I wanna see her sooooooo bad, like I'm crying now cause I wanna see her. It truely sucks. Big time.

My best friend from California, his name is Brock, always talks to me in video chat on xbox live and it's crazy cause he has a mutt that looks sorta like Chika and that dog is his baby and so he always has her with him and it helps me out sorta. I still miss my baby. My birthday is on June 19th and so my birthday wish is to see my Baby. My mom said okay, so I am holding it to her.


The only thing that is truely wrong is at night I get scared sometimes when I have no one to talk to, It scares me when I dont, like I seriously get terrifed. But I've even found a cure for that. I wanna share it with you, its outta the Bible and currently my fav verses. Acts 2 - 25 I kept the Lord before my sight always, for with him at my tight hand nothing can shake me. (26) So my heart rejoiced my tounge delighted; my body, too, will rest secure, (27) for you will not abandon me to Hades or allow your holy one to see corruption. (28) You have taught me the way of life, you qill fill me with hoy in your presence.

]]> ~HotaruSeena http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/24958570/ http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/24958570/ Tue, 26 May 2009 10:31:34 PDT
Grr I want this to be over.

Halo 3 has helpin me through the day. A friend of mine and I made a clan in Halo 3, so it's keepin me very entertained.

]]> ~HotaruSeena http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/24298172/ http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/24298172/ Fri, 17 Apr 2009 20:45:57 PDT
Oh well, I'm at M.D Anderson in Houston Texas aka the best hosptital in the world, like seriously. So I'm in good hands and I'm confident that God will do his work and help me through this. Well, my mum set up a website and since of course I wont be on the computer much I'll give you guys the link.

[link]

There ya go. Check daily haha, you dont have to, but that way you can stay updated

]]> ~HotaruSeena http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/24145937/ http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/24145937/ Thu, 09 Apr 2009 11:56:44 PDT
My doctor said it needs to be removed ASAP and so he sent me to the doctor down stairs(We were in Midland TX Hospital, the same hospital I was born in so thats kinda cool.) Well the first plan was that they were gonna look at me and then put me on the flight for life and ship me off to Dallas or Fort Worth, but my mom and aunt wouldnt let me go anywhere else but Houston since thats where my Grandma's doctor is(she has cancer and masses). Well the doctor downstairs looked at me and said since I'm not under weight and always sick its prolly not cancer so he said not to worry. But sunday we're gonna jump on a plane and fly to houston then Monday at 7 in the morning I have a doctors appt. I think I'll be getting it removed Monday and idk how long I'll be in houston.

In otherwords I'm asking for prayers, I have a four year old sister who is so confused and I'm scared and worried like to death. So please pray for me. My grand parents wanna die and my dad is acting strong but I saw in his eyes that he was scared to death and my mom flat out cried with me as soon as the doctor told us. Even my step mom couldnt believe it. I assume its a parents worse nightmare. I dont know how anyone else in my family is doing. I think my cousin Chris is in denial because one of his friends just died and the other one just got back from colorado and can finaly walk again(bad carwreck).

I'm scared, I'll say it, I'm horrified. so please just pray for me.

]]> ~HotaruSeena http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/24045597/ http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/24045597/ Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:07:27 PDT
My leg freaking hurts right now. And it's like killing me, I'm not sleeping at all, every time I try it just hurts worse, and it like hurts me to tears at night. The only time I can sleep is right after a hot bath and that's like for only an hour and the heat doesn't help the swelling at all. And then I've lost weight cause I'm not eating right, like I'm not eating at all. I'll eat like a handful of goldfish crackers a day and thats it. My doctor gave me some painpills today though, he said they're so strong that they'll knock me out, thank God. It'll give me some sleep.

This isn't the first time that this has happened, but oh God it's the worse. Just sitting here with the lap top in my lap is killing me. It's so weird, cause I'll be just fine, then I'll have a tiny pain in my low back then BAM! The next day I cant walk and I'm hurting to tears. My doctor is considering surgery, so please pray for me to get better and quickly, cause I wanna die right now, it hurts that bad.



On a lighter note my mom has always wanted a Great Dane so Wensday night she got a beautiful 8 month old Great Dane, her name is Daphne and she is sooo sweet. I guess she can sense that I'm hurting so she'll just jump in my bed and lay there with me in the mornings, it accually helps me sleep. Well yesterday morning when she ran in my room a cat of ours was in the room and Daphne ran right up to it and the cat scratched her ear like horribly. Well it was so early in the morning the sun wasnt even up and the only light we had in my room was the tv and my mom was standing at the door way to my room. Well I went to petting her and she was rolling around in my bed and all over me. And it felt like mudd to me(I have a horrible fainting problem when it comes to blood), but I looked at my arms, boom, blood was on me. I looked at my mom and screamed that Daphne was bleeding, my mom turned on the light and the blood was all over my bed, Daphne, and me. I was sitting there shaking and I looked at my hands and arms, it looked like I dunked them in blood. I was so close to passing out. Well my mom told me to take a bath and wash up and she took Daphne outside and cleaned her up and I had looked myself in the mirror, I had blood even on my legs and neck. Ugh I was so sick after that. She's better now but omg. That was scary.

]]> ~HotaruSeena http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/22939794/ http://HotaruSeena.deviantart.com/journal/22939794/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 09:57:39 PST

It's a female Bull Mastiff Mix. She is like 3/4's Bull Mastiff and 1/4 Boxer. She is built just like a Mastiff but she has lean back legs, stubby tail, a little more white on her chest than normal, white tipped paws, and a tiny bit of white on her chin. Otherwise she is light brown with a dark brown stripe down her back.

She's adorable, I love her. Her name is Chikka .

I love how her personality is, it's so mellow. And if anyone harshes her mellow(say another puppy goes up to her and nips at her) she'll just use her Mastiff insticts and pin the puppy down. Lol. I love her.

At the pet store a chihuahua was playing with her and was smaller than her and she seriously just pushed it over with her paw and pinned it down. She did the same to a very, very hyper active lab. It was cute.

I brought her home at night so sometime this after noon she'll get her first walk. And expect plenty of pictures, she'll be the center of my photography for a long time.

But yeah, I thank God for this dog, she's like me in so many ways. She loves to cuddle close, she loves cornors, she can be a goof and play, but she plays rough, and she is quiet.

]]> ~HotaruSeena