http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Huggsley&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Huggsley en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:13:59 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/16449344/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/16449344/ Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:24:16 PST
It has only been two weeks in LaSalle and it seemed as if it was already hell week. Well, for me at least. And yesterday was the culmination of everything. From some major subjects, TLS work, DLSP and some personal issues, everything was in chaos.

It seemed as if I was not in control. And that is very bad for a person like me. I live by the spirit of carpe diem and yet I walk on a thin line in life, balancing everything from school, organizations, friends and even relationships. Just like those who perform in circuses. And like them if for one moment I would lose concentration I too would fall and I would fall very hard. Yesterday was just that. I guess it was my all time low for the school year.

I tried to resolve my problem by talking to my friends but that didn’t work. I tried to eat something. But that didn’t work either. And as a last resort I went to my old time friends whom I tried to forget for so long; dun hill & west. With a light or two, bliss. Yes, momentary satisfaction. For one moment in time I was back in control.

Or so it seemed. As the last stick lit lost its effect, everything just went back to the way they were maybe even worse. By then, Gela, Jeremy and I were already at the amphitheater. As the two love birds were enjoying their time together, I tried not to think much to lessen the uneasiness building up within me.

But that was impossible. I’m a thinker. It was my nature to imagine, to dream and to remember. Yet, the thoughts that flooded thoughts were not as positive as one could imagine. Problems and issues, from school, to work, and people were swirling around head. “Think of something happy Kikz.” I told myself. But nothing came to mind. If there was any, it would just be countered by some problem that went with it. It reminded me of the conversation that Aaron and I had a couple of hours back…

“Have you seen Ren & Stimpy?” I asked Aaron. “Yep” he nodded in approval. “They are retards right?” He then snickered in agreement. “But you know what, sometimes I envy them. Well Stimpy at least. His retarded/uncomplicated way of thinking makes him happy even at worst part of his life.”


Why do I always have to carry the world’s problem behind my back? It’s not like people expect me to do so anyway.

Finally, the cold sweat, nausea and the feeling of vomiting soon took hold of me. It was time to go to the infirmary. The lady there told me that as I arrived I was as white as a ghost and very cold. They gave a medicine that lowered my blood pressure which eventually brought some calm to me. But I still had to wait. It was not safe for me to move just yet. They told me that had I stayed at the 150 range any longer it would have been very dangerous.

As my parents picked me up, since I did not have the energy nor was it really okay for me to go home alone, they reminded me that hypertension was a family trait. But for as young as 19 like me to have it was very wrong.

“You will have to change your lifestyle Francis.” Mom told me. “I don’t know what you are trying to prove with everything that you’re doing.” Dad said about my work with TLS and DLSP. "You are to young to be stressed. You're too serious." (Ahhh yes that word again...serious.) And they both agreed that I had to give up on some of things that I was doing TLS, DLSP, orgs etc. I didn’t bother to say a thing. I was tired and eventually doze of to sleep.

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/16426951/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/16426951/ Wed, 16 Jan 2008 04:36:05 PST
Reach for the star/s and you'll fall on the moon...

riight...I got it now haha!

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/16426365/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/16426365/ Wed, 16 Jan 2008 02:44:44 PST
Photographer’s block? (If there is such a thing) No. That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s everything really.

Ever had that experience that you’re trying to push something that’s almost impossible to move but you still push it anyway? Like pushing a boulder for instance. You know you can’t push it but you still push it anyway. Why? Because you’re crazy enough to do it.

Then again it’s not so bad. You eventually gain something by doing it like having a lot of friends, experiencing new things and so on. But soon it will get to you. Like it got to me.

It got to me in so many ways. But the one thing that really got to me was a question that my mother asked a couple of days ago, which was “what do you want?”

She was quite concerned with the fact that I was going home late everyday coming from school or work in DLSP and TLS or rarely from spending some time with friends. As I would arrive home I would drop everything and just fall flat on the bed and sometimes even go to sleep all together. And once dinner came, I had to drag my half a sleep self to the table barely trying to eat the food which she meticulously prepared. (It’s therefore no surprise how bad my cold has become. It’s been a month already.)

Seeing all of this, I guess mom could not help but ask…what do I really want to do? And for once I could not give a witty answer to her question. All I can say was, “I’m still trying to find that one out. It’s not easy to decide on something that will dictate your life for quite some time.”

But the question did not only struck me in matters of choosing a course but even deeper. Leading to deeper questions. What will make me happy? Where will I be happy? Am I happy?

A friend of mine told me once, it’s good and great that you make other people happy, but at some point you have to be selfish too. You have to make yourself happy too.

That’s when I realized that maybe it is time for me to get out of this dreamland. And be realistic for once. May be it is time for me to stop dreaming and live. Like really live.

I guess that’s what’s been keeping me from being happy: I dream too much, I think too much and I am too much of an idealist. May be it is time for me to just do things and not to think much about the consequences and be a bit more (though not totally) of a deontologist. A deontologist is someone that puts morality (defined as the pursuit of happiness) more into the action rather than the consequence.

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/16324652/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/16324652/ Wed, 09 Jan 2008 03:19:49 PST
My friends pointed something out lately that I guess I have been denying for quite some time now. And it was the fact that history was repeating itself. The thought seemed as if reality drove a speeding truck through me as I truly and honestly believed that she is the one. That she will be the lone girl that I'd be devoting my time, money, work and most importantly love to. But now, I really don't know...

They made a point when they said that all that I've been doing is simply to drain myself of everything that I have for someone and not much is happeneing. I used to dismiss that through a belief that love is not about asking for something in return but giving your all without expecting anything in return. We can only hope that it will.

This belief has cost me a lot in High School as my friends pointed out. Three plus years for what? For nothing but heartaches, wasted money and wasted precious time with friends and many more, they said.

But it wasn't all too bad I guess. Indeed, I did feel those things back in the day. But it too also brought me the best mornings that I've ever had with her simple greetings of good morning. It made me hope and dream. It gave me the inspiration and motivation to do things.

And again they pointed out, "like how you feel now." (Ouch!) Garrucho, you never change. You will always be that hopeless romantic that would do anything for the girl he loves: even if the girl does not like you. That's probably the part of cee(my HS Block) that will never change in you. You went to LaSalle to have a new lease on life. To actually have a tabula rasa(clean slate), the one Mr. Layug was talking about. Yet here you are now, still the same old Kiko when it comes to relationships.

I made a promise back then that I will not repeat the same mistakes that I did back in High School. Not only in matters of relationship but with my life. Yet here I am now, in the same dilemma as before and I ask myself: What do you do? What do you do when people say that you look good together?What do you do if you give your all and it seems nothing much is happenening? What do you do if people sat it's already too much? What do you do if people say you should just giveup and move on? And yet you think it's not yet the time...you don't want to just yet. What do you do if she may likes someone else other than you? Or simply if she may not feel the same with you? What do you do?

...

...

...

...I will love...

crazy? Stupid? I guess so, but again I say love is not about asking for something in return but giving your all without expecting anything in return. We can only hope that it will. This is me, this is who I am, this is what I believe in and this is what has allowed me to survive and achieve some great things in the past.

Though this belief is a double edge sword which has a tip laced with poison that is so lethal that rarely would a man dare use it, I would still do. Simply because not to do so is to deny who I am and what the truth is: which is the fact that I am in love.

I used to say to my young chapter members in Youth for Christ: "once you love someone truly they will be with you for a long-long time no matter what they have done to you because they have moved you and become a part of you. And that, principle is the same when it comes to relationships. There are times that you can't help but think of your ex because you know that at some point in your life you have truly loved them and that you were happy. The pain however will fade in time because you will experience more love through others." (ahh YFC days...)

So what do you(I) do?

simple...

...I will continue to love...

**haha omg! I did not think that this thing would be so long. I sound like a preacher here but believe me I'm no expert. These are just some things that I've observed, learned and probably even discerned at some point in my life**

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/15992933/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/15992933/ Thu, 27 Dec 2007 16:16:11 PST
As I look to the stars above
I wonder if you feel this too
This longing for the love
That I have been hoping to give to you

Longing for the day that I could hold you tight
To let you know that everything will be alright
Hoping for the day that we will be together
Holding hands, making this is forever

But until that day time comes
I have a simple wish so true
For you to be happy and safe
Where ever you are and whatever you do

Oh how I miss you.
Cant you see?
But I'll wait,
no matter how long or painful it could be

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The problem with me is the fact that I can't be honest with my feelings.

The truth is, I like her. And I like her A LOT. So much so, that almost everything that I have done up to now has always been in some way associated with her directly or indirectly.

It has almost been a year since I have met her and almost a year that I've gone out of my way to get to know her even more. It is rare for someone to make me do something like this; I can only count a few in one hand. But I'm not regretting it at all.

Because of her, because of this feeling I was able to enjoy life in DLSU even more. I was able to achieve feats that I never thought I would or could have.

Such example would be TLS. Yes, Misch and the others recruited me to join TLS but I wasn’t decided. I had not experience nor had any inkling as to what I can do there. But as soon as I found out that she joined I didn’t hesitate. And because of joining TLS, I was able to experience many unforgettable things and not to mention that I was able to realize my interest for photography. (from the conversation that Jeff and I had last night)

Honestly, yes she is beautiful but I know a lot more beautiful women than her. But for me, she is gorgeous simply because she isn’t just another pretty face by the road. No, she's more than that. Her beauty encompasses both physical and personality. She is kind, God fearing, loving, honest, smart, dedicated, hardworking, all the positive adjectives you can think of she is that. Unlike those other women that I know. I can even go far as to say that she is divine.

That's what makes her special to me.

But heck! What's the use of all these rambling if cant tell it to her? What's the use if I cant say that I love her for who she is...

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/15937653/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/15937653/ Sun, 16 Dec 2007 05:31:39 PST
CONFIDENT...when I am afraid...

STRONG...when I am broken...

CONTENT...when I am unsatisfied...

OKAY...when I am hurt...

this Christmas when everything just seems to be so dull and blue, I choose to be JOYFUL...even if deep down there is something that is missing real bad. All of this is a state of mind. It'll be gone if I choose to...if I want to...but first of all, I have to believe in it first.

...Globalized Christmas this year haha...
-Brother and I in Manila
-Parents in Mindanao
-Sis in Europe

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/15722638/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/15722638/ Thu, 29 Nov 2007 14:49:12 PST
When the first shot rang out I was with the foreign press, on the center island near the Manila Pen front. We dint know who was firing then so we really had to duck real low. But we cant stop shooting. This was news, history even. So we kept on shooting. As the soldiers pushed we, media/press, pushed forward too. We were hiding and ducking to any possible spot that we can find, may it be a car, van, the bottom support of a lamp post or behind a Simba APC, trying to get the best angle that we can get without getting shot.

But there were light moments too. As the government soldiers were awaiting for the next few orders a high school Korean was just casually walking bye, against a backdrop of soldiers, apparently unaware of what was happening. The scene was so out of place that it even made news caster Henry Omgan Diaz(I think it was him...or some other media personality) laugh like hell as we were resting on the center island.

But as the second wave of gun fire sounded the comedic moment soon went back to the serious tone of the event. We again pushed forward. This time to the rear of Manila Pen, where the action was. The journalists were on the side. And the soldiers were at the left and center, securing the area from sniper fire. Then government forces stormed the building, with the APC smashing the entry way and tear gassing the place. And as we waiting for our turn to storm the place...my battery ran out!!!!!

(I seriously need to buy me a second battery...But I'll consider it as a blessing in disguised as the media/press was held later on by the military and police.)

It never occurred to me till after I finished shooting the idea that...what if I got shot by some stray bullet? What if some crazed mutinous soldier decided to start shooting the journalists as well? I guess that would have been the time that I would be very frustrated with myself for not doing things because I lacked the courage to do so. Heck! Life is so short indeed! I realized that even more after covering this event.

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/15710975/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/15710975/ Wed, 28 Nov 2007 17:14:18 PST
BUT the thing is am an ARROGANT FOOL...
I'm not going to QUIT till it HURTS so BAD...
then again, am NOT even SURE if I'll quit by then...

...like I said...I can be VERY ARROGANT...

...but I know my LIMITS...
...I don't want to FORCE people to act/FEEL/believe that they like me coz that just aint me...

...love me...hate me...be my friend...be my enemy...
It's more annoying to know that a person is not true to you than knowing that that person doesn't like you...

...SO...
...JUST BE WHO YOU ARE...

(A culmination of various unrelated events)

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/14398528/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/14398528/ Wed, 29 Aug 2007 16:22:13 PDT
This month has been very eventful for me. I had finished two major events, from CLA Kapihan to UN International Youth Day. I also had my first Photo assignment. Not forgetting to mention the great party that we had in The LaSallian.

Despite that, I guess this month is also the saddest but also most triumphant month for the whole family; for this is the month that my beloved sister moves to Germany to study and work. I think everyone was much in denial about it. Or rather were just too engrossed with their own work (including my sister), that we failed to realize that she was finally leaving this house, until today.

Everything was fine last night. We had a simple dinner at Jerry’s in Promenade and then my siblings and I played some few games in Time Zone. After that, the family then had a nice remeniscing time at the Coffee Beanery. But no one dared to talk about her leaving. I guess we just didn’t want too. But we were all smiles and laughs then.

Not until today…my brother told me that the whole family cried as my sister closed her door for the last time. My mother was the most expressive. My father, like the rock that he is, tried to keep his tears but eventually he did the same. My brother, which is no surprise for like me he did lookup to our sister, cried and even threatened her if she did not even try to communicate to us when she gets there. As for me I cried too. I was in school, however. But just the same, the thought that I have no sister to cuddle up and annoy, a sister that would take me to the movies on the weekend, a sister that would listen to me without judging me or a sister that simply loved me at home is the most painful thought that I can bare. (I’m sorry if this sounds like an old blog of mine.)

I tried to makeup for my absence by texting her while she was in the airport. But it was just not the same.

Her good bye text message did not comfort me as it gave a large pang in my heart as if saying “this is it. It is really happening. she won't be home anymore.” Still in denial, I thought that she must just joking...she always does those things to me...but it was the truth. Her she did not reply to my last message. She was already on the plane. Because of that I had to leave the computer shop since i was in no mood to wait for the traffic to die down any more. The music in the taxi did not help either. Stupid emo songs kept playing again and again.Getting home and passing bye her door did not help either. I cried again. Yes, there's no denying it I'm still a kid at heart.

My sister’s departure is only an end to another chapter in this family’s life. And so ushers in a new one. I am sure that she will make great progress in Germany and be able to fulfill her dreams there. But I will not deny that I will miss her dearly and that I will fear for her well being and safety even more now as she explores more cultures half a world away from us. I can only hope and pray that she will be okay. As for me, I guess change will have to take its course. I must admit even now it feels awkward not to hear her footsteps in the next door or hear her voice calling us to eat dinner. But I guess this is it. I just have to growup even more as they say.

Anyway that’s all. For the one that read this with my grammar and spelling not in check, thanks for reading

For George, Joseph, Jabin and Gella thanks for comforting me in the chicken resto a while ago.

For my sister I wish her bone voyage and God’s blessing…I leave (I guess the whole family does) to Him my dear sister’s well being…

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/14220558/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/14220558/ Sat, 18 Aug 2007 03:03:50 PDT hahahaha

UNIV:
>Hi we're investigating the status of students... so what's yours? single or taken?

>You’re from Univ aren’t you? Coz baby, you can investigate me anytime you want.

> You Univ people sure are good at exposing things…including my heart

> You've been bad mister, you need to be expoooooosed

MENAGE:
>You must be from the Menage Section…coz baby you bring out the animal in me

>Hi I’m from the Menage Section and I just want to let you know you make me roar.

>They say that we Menage people are wild, well baby, you can tame me anytime

SPORTS:
>Hi I'm from the sports section...can you please do me a favor? Can you please not dribble my heart to much?

>They say that we sports people are tough, but baby you can melt me any time

>You know you don’t have to be champion for me to write about you. Coz in my heart you already are.

PHOTO:
>hi I'm from the photo section. Can I please take a photo of you? Coz i need to frame it in my heart..

>It’s always hard to get that perfect shot in photography. But you know what? When it comes to you it always is.

>You’re from the photo section aren’t you? Coz you baby you just shot my heart

Arts & Graphics:
>You’re from A&G right? Coz I have a problem….I need you to layout my hear…

>I’m from A&G and I just want you to know that I just finished drawing you on my heart

>You’re from A&G aren’t you? Coz baby you just brightened up my day

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/14184775/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/14184775/ Wed, 15 Aug 2007 18:09:32 PDT
]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/14114266/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/14114266/ Sat, 11 Aug 2007 02:48:22 PDT
So…

For quite some time now I have grown accustomed to not show people how I really feel most especially to my family. I think I have become something like…water. Yes, I do laugh and get mad sometimes. But most often than not I’m just…there. In school, some people may think that I am a very happy person but deep down inside I’m really not. I guess don't want them to get infected by the virus called depression. And some other times when I’m with people whom I really like or enjoy I don’t think I am able to freely express how much I like them. This must be the emotional barrier that I have built around me. I think that is why it is a lot easier to be expressive in YM, in my blog or in the internet. It voids the physical interaction from one person another. Am I making any sense? Now, don’t go thinking I’m emo or something but that is what I have just grown accustomed to for the past couple of months. In fact, I think this is the thing that enabled me to be successful in all of my projects and work. I keep to myself and only a select few what I truly feel.

But you know what…sometimes I wished I could just force myself to drop this barrier. It’s not easy I tell you. Most especially at times like these.

What am I talking about?

Well…my sister is finally leaving the nest. Yep! My big sister, who has always taken care of me and my brother, will finally leave the house for good. My big sister, whom I have always look up to. My confidant for my dreams and success. The silent helper of my brother and me whenever we had problems with our parents. The one that never forgot about us whenever she received blessings. The one who always took time to just listen to us without holding anything against us. The one that was willing to help us when we needed it the most...and I dare say more than our parents could. As a big sister, I could not have asked anyone better than her. But I guess life has to move on. She has to leave for Germany by the end of the month and I have to be content in living half a world away from my ate. I am sure nothing will be the same in this house again without our big sister. But I know doing this is really important for her to achieve her dream into working with the U.N. and she has longed to do this. So I could not hope any better. I just wished I could tell her how grateful I am to have her as my sister.

Sheesh...I talk as if someone is dying…(but in some sense, It is. well my heart at least…my sister is leaving the house. One of the two people who have supported and actually listened to me throughout my strougles in life. Would you not feel the same?)…Anyway time to move out of my melodramatic sphere…

Besides I think I have written in here long enough. Haha. If I stay any longer I may drown in my own room…hahaha...

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/13976188/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/13976188/ Wed, 01 Aug 2007 19:05:55 PDT
Sometimes this item may be close to you for several reasons… financial… political or sentimental. But most often it is the latter. It becomes precious because of all the emotional attachments that this item contains.

Anyway enough with the technicalities…

I’m sure a lot of us lost some precious things or more importantly people whom we hold dear in our lives in many different ways. Like the loss of my grandmother whom my family and most especially cousins loved very dearly. Obviously such things are very hard to take and move on. And I think anyone who does not feel such a thing must have a very cold heart. Never the less, we do still need to move on for the spirit of the departed can never live again till we the living decide to continue the battle against life itself. And as for the possessions that we lost we can say that the things we hold dear can never attain its highest value until we learn the true cost of our mistakes. I hope that makes sense…

Therefore…value what you have right now…love who needs to be loved…share what needs to be shared… show to that person how much you really mean to them… things will never be the same and things will never be constant. We many never know when your, my or that person’s world will end…

**END**

…haha and to think I made this reflection from the fact that I just lost my folder containing all of my Research Papers for class(oh well back to zero …Anyway I really should follow my own reflections
though...relationship wise, hehe, in all aspects of my life …carpe diem! As they say…

*PEACE ALL*

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/13823013/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/13823013/ Sat, 21 Jul 2007 15:57:23 PDT )

10. Destiny Adik
Eto yung mga naghihintay kay "Destiny" na gumawa ng paraan para
pagtagpuin sila ng kanilang mga "partner in life". Ayannn. Kapapanood nyo ng "Serendipity" eh feeling nila ang nangyari sa movie eh mangyayari rin sa kanila... Such a cliche... Hindi ba nila alam na kung walang effort, destiny is useless...

9. Perfectionist/ Mapili
Yes, isang taong perpeksiyonista. .. Yung tipong dapat ganito ang magiging
kapartner ko... Pag may nakilala, nakita lang na pangit ang kuko o may
dumi lang, turn-off na agad... O kaya ang daming ayaw. Ayaw sa mabait - boring daw, gusto ng bad boy/pilya pero kapag pinaiyak ka, tatanungin ka bakit ang sama mo at bakit mo nagawa yun! Adik ka ba?! Ayaw sa cute, ayaw din naman sa panget. Meron dyan gusto ka ayaw mo naman. Ung gusto mo eh halos magtambling ka pero deadma pa rin yang stunts mo sa kanya!
Pasaway ka rin e! Ano ba talaga kuya?

8. Busy-busyhan
Opo, eto yung ang mundo e gumagalaw lang sa libro at ballpen kung
estudyante ka o kaya naman sa computer at files kung office staff ka.
Yung tipong aalis ng bahay ng alas 6 o alas 7 ng umaga at uuwi ng bahay
ng 6 hanggang alas 8 ng gabi [baligtad naman para sa mga nag tratrabaho
sa call center].. Sabay tulog na.. Kapag Sabado masaya na sila sa Internet (o sa Multiply), sa pagkain na Niluluto ni mama at sa Linggo naman sisimba at maghahanda na ng kelangan para sa lunes hanggang byernes..
Pssssst.. Pause for awhile..

7. Friendship Theory
Ano naman ito? Eto yung ang buhay ay kay bestfriend o kaya kay special
friend na hindi masasabi-sabi sa friendship nya sa loob ng kanilang
mahabang panahon na pagsasama dahil baka daw maapektuhan ang
pakikipagkaibigan at iwasan sya.. Yung tipong pag may kasama si friendship na iba, nagseselos na wala naman sa lugar, pero syempre wag pahalata, kunyari happy sya for friendship.. Aba ! Oi lakasan mo ang loob at baka mamaya forever mong pagsisihan yan kaw rin. Minsan pa naman pareho kayong naghihintayan. . Hmmp!

6. Born-to-be-one (Autistic)
Eto yung nasa palad na ang pagiging single daw.. Walang reasons.. Basta
lang nabuhay sya sa mundo na mag-isa at feeling nya mamatay sya sa mundo
ng mag-isa.. Kesyo magmamadre o magpapari na lang.. Asa kang tatanggapin ka pa noh!

5. Wrong Place
May nakaranas na ba nito? Yung pakiramdam mo nasa ibang mundo ka. Yung
ang nakakaharap mo e yung mga hindi mo gusto, yung mga hindi mo
hinahanap. Alam mo yun? Halimbawa nasa ibang bansa ka, pero ang hinahanap mo e yung amoy ng nasa sariling bayan mo. O kaya naman e nasa sarili mong bayan ka, nasa normal na lipunan, pero ikaw ang abnormal at hindi mo kayang sabihin na abnormal din ang hanap mo kung ayaw mong ibitin ka nila ng patiwarik.

4. Wrong Time
Eto yung mga tao na sinasabi na "hindi pa ako ready e, bata pa kasi ako"
o kaya naman "hindi pa ako handa sa panahong ito, wala pa ako kayang
ipagmalaki." Yes meron pong ganyan. Yung feeling nila may tamang panahon para sa love.. Awwwwwww. Aba kelan yun? Pag uugod ugod ka na at yung time mo e bitin na? O baka naman pag pang out of time ka na? Oist, sugod lang ng sugod.

3. Si parents kasi!
Yes, factor din ang komunidad na ginagalawan mo. Una, ayaw pa ni mader o pader na magkaron ka kahit 22 anyos ka na at kelangan umabot ka muna raw ng 40 bago magkaroon ng gf/bf. O kaya naman ikaw mismo! Takot sa sasabihin ni parents at ni kapitbahay na tsismosa sa magiging kasama mo. Aba ikaw ba naman ang sabihan na "Alam mo hindi kayo bagay. Langit at lupa kayo." Awwwww. Payo ko sayo, Pakialam nila diba? Palibhasa inggit!

2. Traumatic Experience
Eto kalimitan ang reason ng marami. Ayaw ko na! Takot na ako mangyari pa
ang nangyari dati! O diba ang drama ng layp? Yes, tama ka. Eto yung dahil sa past relationship mo, e until na ayaw mo ng magkaroon at sinumpa mo na ata ang magmahal. Dahil sa pinagpalit ka sa mas pangit, o kaya naman iniwan ka ng walang word na bye-bye, o dahil binugbog ka! Ano pa ba? Madami yan. wag na nating isa isahin at baka tumulo si tears. Heheh!
Gayunpaman, eto lang masasabi ko mga hija at hijo. Iba't-iba ang lasa
ng pag-ibig. May mapait, may mapakla, may matamis at may maasim.. Aba
mapalad ka at natikman mo ang iba't-ibang lasa nito. Kaya ikaw, do not be afraid to fall in love again.. Malay mo sweetiness na ang malasahin mo next time. E di panalo ka sa lotto. Yan ang nagpapalakas sayo, yan ang bumubuhay sayo, ang pag-ibig. Tsk! Drama!

1. EX to the nth power!!!
Oi aminin!!! LOVE parin si ex kahit 1 or 2 yrs na ang nakakalipas. May ganito naman. Yung... ]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/13740200/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/13740200/ Sun, 15 Jul 2007 03:21:29 PDT it was cold...
the frozen air
seems prick the skin like tiny needles...

It did not matter...
she was beside me...
I was beside her...
we talked and she smiled...
and everything just became...
warmer...
she had to go...
I wanted to follow...
but something told me...
not yet...
next time-next time...
it's not yet the time...

It rained...
it was cold...
but it did not matter...
I was HAPPY...
and I like her...

(hehe actually am stressed today because of the workload that I have...I just need to take a break and release some bottled up emotions...waha...I made this poem. It's actually a old post of mine in my other blog ...And Yes! I could be very melodramatic sometimes...)

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/12938162/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/12938162/ Sun, 13 May 2007 06:27:35 PDT
Never the less I wasn’t really fond of leaving unfinished work, projects, events etc behind and go on some outing. Shucks! I think I’m developing my workaholic attitude O.o Anyway, I guess that’s why I missed a lot of outings this summer. But this time, everything was different. With my Dad’s persistence for me to join the camp, plus also my dream to climb/trek some of the country’s tallest mountains I decided to just drop everything and go. I must admit I was quite apprehensive because of the fact that I had to finish planning a GK Camp for the Student Council for the following week. But all of that soon disappeared as we went on to Mt. Pinatubo. There we were accompanied by my Dad’s HS Batchmates and despite their age, I think they are fun to hang around with particularly Tito Mike who keeps on making funny side comments as we trekked the mountain.

I really enjoyed the trip to Mt. Pinatubo. Not only did I enjoy the beautiful flora and fauna, the breathtaking sights, the fresh air and natural clean mountain water, the deafening and yet peaceful silence, the long reflective walk but I also enjoyed the fact that I spent the whole thing with my Dad. It’s quite rare that we actually hangout with each other anymore because of his work and to do the whole thing with him was priceless.

I hope you guys could visit Mt. Pinatubo some day too!

As for my dream of climbing/trekking many of the country’s tallest mountains, I guess am not doing too bad at all…I’m done w/ Mt. Apo (though I want to do it again since I did it when I was very young), Mt Mayon, Mt. Makiling, Biak-na-Bato…I hope the next would be either Banahaw or Arayat

By the untouched photos are in my multiply: [link]
(though please ask permission if you use anything okay?)

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/12880785/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/12880785/ Mon, 07 May 2007 20:04:16 PDT
She just came from a week long vacation in Iloilo and Antique for a family reunion with her siblings and cousins. It would have been nice to have joined her and learned more about my Spanish heritage on their side. But, as always I was too busy to go out of town so I was left at home with my sister and brother (w/out a made).

So without mom home and no made to help us, I had my fare share of cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner. This really allowed me to improve my cooking skills and go beyond the pastry area > And I must admit I did fairly well plus I added a new recipe to my cookie list hehe

Anyway here are some of the things that I cooked for the past couple of days…
Baked pork chop w/ vegetables and potatoes
Spiced Lemon Bangus
Spanish inspired ham, & vegetables Torta
Chicken Nuggets (which I am ashamed to say was my worst cooking…burned ¼ of them)
Plus my new added cookie recipe: chocolate waltnut oatmeal cookies

Anyway…I think you must be bored by now or you’re hunggry…so I’ll stop now hehe

As my favorite TV cook always says...LIVE...LOVE...and...EAT...
(This post is taken from my personal blog [link]_kikz)

]]> ~Huggsley http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/12836166/ http://Huggsley.deviantart.com/journal/12836166/ Fri, 04 May 2007 05:09:57 PDT
A nice old lady, probably in her sixties fell hard on the floor. And as she fell she was not able to lift her head away from the rubber mat floor, rendering her unconscious. (Now I understand why tucking in your head was very important in judo.) The fall was so hard that she was neither breathing nor moving. Chaos ensued. Her startled family was grip with fear. Her son, shouted repetitively in desperation begging her “Mama-Mama lumaban ka!! Mama-mamaaaaa!!” He kept on shaking her hoping that at that moment she would wakeup and open her eyes. But nothing happened. Her daughter then ran in lightning speed to the telephone demanding that the ambulance be rushed immediately to the place. After doing so and having left with nothing else to do but wail near by she then screamed in a bone chilling shrill that made everyone’s hair stood on ends. As for the grandmother's grandchildren, like many, stood at the corner with much despair hugging their mother with all their hope. Likewise she too held them so tightly under her arms. So tight that it almost seemed that she was shielding them from the tragedy that has befalen upon them. Everyone else on the sideline stood there shocked and mesmerized by the reality that one would have only thought possible in television shows.

But Death did not have his way…

My father, who is well trained in the art of first aid and is not new to such events, immediately rushed to her aide. “One…two…three…” he repeated with all his might. “One…two…three…BREATH…” he said again. “One…two..three…” a couple of seconds or minutes without oxygen under an a state like hers may cause brain damage, I recalled my ROTC lesson. “One…two…three…exhale” doing the same actions time and time again. “One…two…three…” and life came back…

Eventually the ambulance from Medical City came and as she was strolled away…everyone was crying in relief. The nice old lady cried too…she cried as she tried with all her might to say sorry to her son.

I saw Death again on that day…

…and he made me remembered my last day with my last living grandmother. As I sat on the iron chair at the balcony above the room where she was dieing, I prayed to God that she may not suffer anymore. She already endured enough in her time. That He do what He should do now for her own good. I hated seeing my grandmother suffer and be rushed to the hospital all the time. Then, there at that moment on the balcony, I knew that her long overdue break to paradise has come. But before doing so she said farewell to everyone. For as I sat there a sort of cold chill went through my spine but the feeling was not of surprise or fear but more of a comforting hug as if she said “don’t worry anymore dear.” As my siblings and I recalled that day it seemed that it was not only I who had experienced this but even they did: my sister in her office and kuya somewhere in school. Her death, as my uncles, auntie and parents who were around her in her death bed said, was beautiful.

Death sent me a message that day...

Life is short…He’ll come to you when you least expect it. So before that time comes it is your choice to make life worth while, to have your family by your side content and happy, or have regrets in the end.

]]> ~Huggsley