http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:J-Ping&section=today deviantART RSS for by:J-Ping en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 04 Dec 2009 21:44:03 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://J-Ping.deviantart.com/journal/7338906/ http://J-Ping.deviantart.com/journal/7338906/ Wed, 21 Dec 2005 20:16:15 PST
For those who don't know and for those who may have forgotten for the past 3 weeks me and the rest of the Symphonic Wind Syphony of St Peters Lutheran College have been on a band tour of America.

We played in Honolulu, LA, Seattle and Vancouver. We also stopped by in Aukland for a night. That's a total of 3 countries.

Alright now for some further detail on the trip.

Auckland:
Our trip started at 9.30am on Monday the 28th of November 2005. It was about a 3hr flight from Brisbane to Auckland and we were only staying there overnight. What we did see of Auckland wasn't all that interesting and it was very similar to Australia. Unfortunetly to my great disapointment I didn't see a single sheep. We did however see some cows in the middle of the city. I made up for the lack of sheep with a poscard with sheep on it.

Honolulu:
Next up Hawii. We left Auckland at 12.55pm on the 29th and arrived 8hrs later at 10.30pm the previous day. Dam confusing place that northern hemisphere. Yay America land of the realy realy realy long customs line.

It's a strange place in Hawii. They were in the middle of there winter yet it was Brisbane's summer temperature. They measure temperature in farenheight or whatever it is (0C = 17F). They have realy strange traffic lights. They can't spell the word centre. Everything is at least twice as big as it should be (including the toilets) andthey drive on the wrong side of the road... hmph.

Anyway we were in Hawii so that was cool. We were spending the next 4 or so days here so we had lots to do including our first few concerts which attracted virtually no one. The sightseeing part of Hawii was good. We went to some random beach that apparently had the biggest waves in the world (just not at that present time), Waikiki Beach which I give 3 humbs up and Pearl Harbour.

I found out that it was some Hawian king who introduced surfing to South America and Australia. All in all Hawii was a great place along with the people.

Los Angeles:
5hr flight to LA. Everyone note that United Airlines is 'the' worst airline ever. Uncomfortable seats, no room, have to pay for food, realy boringly painted aircraft and the people who loading bags unto/out of the airplane had no respect what so ever for them. Several of our instraments were damaged including my Tuba. Then again we had been flying with Air New Zealand in our last 2 flights which is complete luxury.

LA is awsome. Disneyland was great but anyone could tell you that. I won't say just what was there because there was too much and I can't be bothered but we performed there which was good.

The billets I was staying with refered to Hollywood as "Hollywierd" and for good reason. We of cource saw the famous 'Hollywood' sign and then went to Beverly Hills. This is the wierd place. The mall has chandeleer street lights. Some of the people there are also realy impatient. I saw some guy in his car beep at a guy infront of him for slowing down to turn the corner. We also went on a tour to stars houses tour beautifully stagged by our band directors.

Seattle:
I'm getting sick of all this writting. My bet is that most people will have stopped reading it by now but i'll continue. Seattle. Cold. Icy mountains in the background. Dormant Volcano. Great big Space Needle tower in the middle of the city from where we could see just about everything. Complete with widesceen zoom in camera so we could spy on the inocent little people going about their daily lives.

One thing I should have said before. The Americans love us. As Australians we were automatically cool. Including Rusten (any who know who Rusten is will understand). The only thing they were dissapointed in was our accents which they thought wern't strong enough. Any Americans reading my journal for reasons beyond me should note that only tards who live outback have rediculously strong accents.

Also Seattle has an underground called the Seattle underground believe it or not. Like the London underground only abandoned and in Seattle instead of London. Note I have never been to London. Any way it's got a realy interesting and exciting story to go with it but it's realy long so I won't put it here unless someone asks me to.

We also went to Boeing where they make all the Boeing aircraft for all over the world. Including that realy cool aboriginal Quantas plane if any of you have seen it. I promised my parents i'd buy a plane (model plane) there. I came back with a squishy plane toy thingy.

Vancouver:
Oh Canada Oh Canada. Bus drive from Seattle to Vancouver = 3hrs. We've gone from cold to f**king cold. I was wearing at least 4 layers to keep me warm. Ca... ]]> ~J-Ping http://J-Ping.deviantart.com/journal/6888530/ http://J-Ping.deviantart.com/journal/6888530/ Fri, 28 Oct 2005 05:53:38 PDT
This girl around 15, 16 years of age lied to her parents about going to a friends place for the night when she was actually going out with her boyfriend.

So she and her boyfriend went to a party, got drunk, smoked drugs and were on their way back to the girls home when they crashed into another car, killing the two people in the car and the girls boyfriend. The girl was the only survivor and escaped uninjured.

As she sat in the ambulance she told the parametics that she was very sorry about what had happened and wanted them to tell her parents she was sorry for lieing to them.

Only one problem. The two people that had been killed in the other car were her parents.

True story. ]]> ~J-Ping http://J-Ping.deviantart.com/journal/6339666/ http://J-Ping.deviantart.com/journal/6339666/ Sat, 27 Aug 2005 04:37:50 PDT

O' ma grannies a cripple in Nashville,

but her wheelchair it had a loose screw,

and on three wheels it trundled,

over the edge of that cliff,

in that old sea side town fareway.


Now driving the wheel chair was a blind orphan named joe and he said,

o' where on Earth is my grannie,

and where did that old wheel chair go,

so off he went a searching,

but his sightless eyes led him astray,

and he walked right over,

the edge of that cliff in that old sea side town fareway.


So they sent for a doctor,

and an ambulence two they came rushing,

they came rushing from two different ways,

and they cashed with a biff,

and shot over that cliff,

in that old sea side town fareway.


So they sent for pasta Maloney and he said,

well friends now that we've gathered here,

we'd better pray i suppose,

but too many people had gathered,

and the edge of the cliff it gave way,

and down they all fell,

and shot straight to hell,

in that old sea side town fareway. ]]> ~J-Ping http://J-Ping.deviantart.com/journal/6239771/ http://J-Ping.deviantart.com/journal/6239771/ Tue, 16 Aug 2005 02:29:02 PDT
In response to Gates' comments, General Motors (GM) issued a press release, stating: "if GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1) For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2) Every time the road lines are repainted, you would need to buy a new car.

3) Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You'd have to pull over, close all the windows, shut off the car, restart it and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason, you'd simply accept this.

4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5) Macintosh would make a car that is solar powered, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive; but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'This car has performed an illegal operation' warning light.

7) The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8) Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9) Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers must learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10) You'd have to press the 'start' button to turn the engine off.

You've got to admit, GM has a point... ]]> ~J-Ping http://J-Ping.deviantart.com/journal/6239704/ http://J-Ping.deviantart.com/journal/6239704/ Tue, 16 Aug 2005 02:10:54 PDT
Milburn - capital of Victoris
Peck - to fill a suitcase
pissed aside - chemical which kills insects
pigs - for hanging out washing with
pug - large pink animal with a curly tail
nin tin dough - computer game
munnwe stroney - soup
min- male of the species
mess kara - eye makeup
mcKennock - person who fixes cars
Mere - Mayor
leather - foam produced from soap
lift - departed
Kiri Pecker - famous Australian businessman
kittle crusps - potato chips
Ken's - Cairns
jungle bills - Christmas carol
inner me - enemy
guess - vapour
fush - marine creature
fitter cheney - type of pasta
ever cardeau - avocado
fear hear - blonde
ear - mix of nitrogen and oxygen
ear roebucks - exercise at gym
duffy cult - not easy
amejen - visualise
chuck - very young poultry
bug hut - popular recording
bun button - been bitten by insect
beard - a place to sleep
sucks peck - half a dozen beers
Ear New Zulland - an extinct airline
beers - large savage animals found in U.S. forests
veerjun - mythical New Zealand maiden
one doze - well known computer program
brudge - structure spanning a stream
sex - one less then sivven
tin - one more then nine
iggs ecktly - precisely
cuds - children
cuttin - baby cat
sivven sucks sivven - large Boeing aircraft
sivven four sivven - larger Boeing aircraft
earplane - large flying marchine
beggage chucken - place to leave your suitcase at the earport

New Zulander's note: please do not take offence ]]> ~J-Ping http://J-Ping.deviantart.com/journal/5939273/ http://J-Ping.deviantart.com/journal/5939273/ Fri, 15 Jul 2005 04:49:51 PDT
LIFE IN 30 STATEMENTS

1. Do not walk behind me for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

For a start, if someone is following you, you have little choice but to lead them where ever you go or at least until you do something about it (the shins are a weak spot).

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

I have never actually traveled a thousand miles and i've never had problems with fan belts or tires so this one is still a mistery to me.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if your going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Sounds fun but i'd rather sleep in.

4. Sex is like air. It's not importent unless you arn't getting any.

I havn't put this one into practice... Yet.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

However if you can't be promoted, you will eventually be fired.

6. No one is listening to you untill you fart.

So true, so very very true.

7. Always remember you'r unique. Just like veryone eles.

This one makes me feel special.

8. Never test the depth of water with two feet.

The first time I read this I asked myself why not... I know now.

9. If you think nobody cares if your alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

I havn't tried this but I think it has a deeper meaning.

10. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. THat way when you criticise them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Problem is they don't let you use their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

I don't think i'll be going skydiving anytime soon.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink bear all day.

This one also has a deeper meaning.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

I'd rather the $20.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Except the truth.

15. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

I know the feeling.

16. Don't worry, it only seams kinky the first time.

Actually it keeps getting kinkier and kinkier each time I hear it.

17. Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

I have gained much of this over the years.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

It's amazing, this one works.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

I have learnt this one from others.

20. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side,and it holds the universe together.

This one is also true.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

I bet you're wondering what the two theories are.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

Generally speaking I agree.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

This one goes with the judgement one.

24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

This is an importent lesson in life.

25. We are both naked, wet and hungrey, and get slapped on our butt... then things get worse.

I have not tested this and i'm not sure what to expect when I do.

26. Never,under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Honestly, who would be stupid enough to actually try this.

27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

Some would disagrew with this as a hobby can be linked with a mental illness.

28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

They always do.

29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday... around age 11.

I stopped expecting people to make a big deal out of my birthday ages ago, but i'm not complaining when they do. On my last birthday I had someone play happy birthday to me on their guitar.

30. Everyone seems normal untill you get to know them.
~J-Ping