http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Jedi-Consular&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Jedi-Consular en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 15 Dec 2009 07:34:52 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/16261049/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/16261049/ Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:55:03 PST
Apparently the truck my package supposedly shipped in was in an accident and the package destroyed so they were sending a replacement even though I had gotten it and signed for it.

This prompted me with a decision to make; take the 'free' products (worth about 50 USD) since they assumed it was lost and I never got it or inform them I had received it and reject the package. I first thought the former but settled on the latter, being the huge believer in karma that I am, and remembering the part in the Quran about conducting fair business.

After the fact I wondered if I had done the right thing, seeing that I could have had 'free' merchandise. Just then I realized exactly what it was I was thinking and at that moment I came to a question...exactly at what point in human history did we start to second guess honesty? Just when was the tipping point when we went from being a reputable society to a band of thieves trying to claim all we can? Does it go back to Cain and Abel or perhaps Adam himself when he defied God's simple orders and ate from the forbidden tree?

If you see where I am going with this you can start to guess from where I get my rather bleak outlook on humanity. From our very creation we proved to be completely unworthy of our existence, how depressing. No wonder we rot on this earth and no wonder we destroy our very surroundings.

I suppose perhaps my outlook on life would be brighter if only I had a better outlook on my own life...but things are the way they are for a reason I suppose.

Oh well, its not like anyone reads these damn things anyway...I know I don't.

]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/15220816/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/15220816/ Thu, 25 Oct 2007 19:03:18 PDT
I say this because it almost seems as though I am the only one (or maybe one of the few) people who actually realizes the world has gone beyond insanity. Let me explain

I live in the States...and therefore seen it go from a country of freedom to the outline of the next fascist state. I am a Muslim, and so I have seen others pervert the religion beyond any believer's worst nightmare...and now I experience the everyday idiocy of a world that really believes Islam involves blowing yourself up along with everything that moves. I love nature and the wilderness and believe that God has given us everything we ever needed to live well right in the earth and its plants and creatures. So it should not surprise anyone that I would be angry when faced with what humans have done with this earth. In fact: in grade 3 when I first learned about the Tropical Rain Forests I was in awe...and then to learn about their destruction I was devastated. I cried in class as I tried to understand who would do such a thing to the beautiful landscape. To see the barren land, even now, brings tears to my eyes.

So amongst the corporate corruption, endless wars waged for nothing but profits, the destruction of our natural homeland, and slaughter of our God given freedoms you would think the crowds of people would swell up and correct these horrendous things. Yet that does not happen...in fact no one seems to notice...no one seems to care....

When making people aware of these things they think I am an alarmist, a radical, a ridiculous idiot, and a fool to care and think about such things.....they scoff at me and mock me and therefore frustrate me with their ignorance.

It frustrates me that no one notices what is happening in the world around them...and those who do notice do nothing....its like they don't even care. And what good can come of these things? Or do they think their greedy plans will avail them?

Or does the fact that this seems to bother only me make ME insane and not the world?

In that case I wish to stay insane....it seems only right

]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/13688321/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/13688321/ Tue, 10 Jul 2007 21:30:24 PDT
I wonder how much a year can change a person. I look to myself and think one can change quite a lot. For good, for bad, or for neither.... the doubt this creates is staggering.

For me there is no doubt of one thing...and that is the love I have for her...I still remember her everyday...say her name on impulse of pure thought. She is everywhere I look.....but still I cannot find her. I hear her voice while there is no sound. I see her in the crowd while she is not there. The thought of her saturates my brain.

So sweetheart, if you read this know that I haven't forgotten...you haven't been betrayed...and that I am waiting for any sign from you. I simply hope you feel the same. <3

]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/13248479/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/13248479/ Thu, 07 Jun 2007 05:56:15 PDT "Everyone talks of changing the world, but no one talks of changing themselves"


It's sometimes easier to try to change the world than ourselves since we, as humans, are incredibly stubborn O_O

Yet this is my quest, to better myself: Mind, body, and soul. Fortunately I have come across some excellent books on natural cures. Turns out companies put lots of chemicals in our food and water and therefore theres tons of junk in our bodies that theres not suppose to be screwing it up really bad.... which explains why I always feel horrible even when nothing is wrong....

Its a good thing theres herbs and minerals to get rid of it
Sure it costs a good deal of money to get them but at what price wouldnt you suffer if it could take away so much of your illness?

Well...its not like anyone reads my page....(seriously)....but I will let everyone know how my purification has gone....which should take about 3-4 months and get rid of all harmful toxins, bacteria, waste, and replenish the good stuff in me

Bye for now!

]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/12882889/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/12882889/ Tue, 08 May 2007 01:21:44 PDT
Eat what I want, go where I want, do what I want, pray when I want and where I want.......its very refreshing!
As my little sister said it....I can breathe without being yelled at!

I love the new job, new apartment, new city......I graduate in about two weeks from 2 degrees Ive been working hard to get for the past 3 years.....its all starting to come together.

Except one thing

I still miss my girlfriend....being away from her has made me very sad indeed. I just pray that our lives bring us back together because she is the missing piece of the puzzle to my life. The part that is not there.....that would make everything else whole. I love you sweetheart <3.

]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/12610884/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/12610884/ Sun, 15 Apr 2007 19:59:13 PDT
I'm almost done with school...and after next month I will gladly have two associates degrees that proclaim that I can fix just about anything computer related...whether i can or not....

Add both of these things together and one would think that I would be just thrilled to be alive...and while I am very excited for these next few years and what might happen, I cant seem to shake this feeling that everything feels hallow....just completely empty.

It still stands that I haven't any real friend that I can converse with....those that I knew gone off in different directions and I have found more and more that its incredibly hard to find people that aren't stupid drunkards whose only hobby seems to be telling others of how plastered they can become.

I'm sure most of my anxiety comes from issues left torn open from things that happened in the past. It's not good to leave unresolved things linger in the darkness...they can strangle a man's soul and leave him to die...

]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/11781305/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/11781305/ Mon, 12 Feb 2007 03:22:41 PST
In Islam, Allah (the Arabic word for God and is the same God as the Christian God and the Jewish God) has set aside very concrete rules for war. Sometimes war is, unfortunately, necessary since some people dislike peace and only want to harm others. Killing others should be the last thing you do, however, since life is a very sacred thing. Also you can only do so while defending your ability to worship Allah. This means that you may only result to war after your enemy has prevented you from praying or has sought to kill you because of your worship of God. A Muslim can also NEVER kill another Muslim. If you do by accident then you are in debt with their family forever and must do whatever they ask of you. If you kill a Muslim on purpose you have no chance of salvation. Lastly you cannot harm women and children for any reason for God has placed great good in both of them, even if you cannot see it.

So if these rules are so clearly written in the Quran as I have read them many times then why could Muslims even consider the violence they put themselves through today. One might point to the sectarian violence between the different sections of Islam but these people might be forgetting yet another thing. Islam, God's religion, is NEVER to be split. It says so, again, clearly in the Quran. Sectioning Islam forms a lie against God by permitting something that God did not give permission for. This, in turn, is the most horrible sin that anyone could commit. So with everything I mentioned being clearly stated in the Quran and therefore being in the minds of every believing Muslim, I fail to see any reason in why sectarian violence should be happening at all. Where has all the reason and wisdom gone? Can anyone tell me? For I am struck with grief for what they are doing to God's religion.

]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/11692108/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/11692108/ Mon, 05 Feb 2007 02:37:31 PST
Work might not end so sudden as I thought, although the department will be closing down they have new things coming in a different department which means they have more work. this is very good for me but im still looking for another job. at least now i have some time to do it.

January has come and gone and the letter i was promised is not here which leaves me to wonder, of course, whether or not it was ever sent. this does frustrate me a little since its just another one of the many things that is suppose to happen but doesn't. i can only imagine there must be a good reason for this but I certainly cannot find it.

This probably wouldn't create too much sorrow for me except for the fact that the life I planned to have is now being challenged by new restrictions or possibilities. two major paths apparently present themselves to me. both paths are neither stable, secure, nor absolute. I am simply confused and a lifeline i was counting on never came.

if nothing else, this does frustrate me. not in a completely angry way...not in a way that loses all calmness, but in a way that leaves me bewildered as to which path in life i am meant to take. as always i think waiting may be the key, but who has enough time for that?

]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/11412987/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/11412987/ Fri, 12 Jan 2007 17:16:58 PST
I'm in the middle of my winter classes between semesters which basically consists of me squeezing months of work within one week....

The department I work in is pretty much closing down now...they hardly have much work for me right now and I know that pretty soon I will be out of work completely.

With my school coming to an end I just hope I can hold on just long enough to find a job that benefits from my education. then I can finally move out and live how I want...you really cant improve yourself if your not able to improve your surroundings.

I'm looking forward the new expansion for World of Warcraft.....im sure my Sana would just *sigh* at this comment in a disappointing manner. i cant remember jesting at her interests...*sigh*

Overall I just feel tired. Tired of my job, my school, my home, my life. Change would be really good about now...luckily enough it looks like thats exactly what I'm gonna get. I guess I'm also anxious to see how the next several years play out for me. I wish I could just pass through some time and go maybe 5 years ahead. I seem to always live for tomorrow...something I don't understand. Patience is the key I guess.

I'm not too worried, though...just impatient I guess. I know everything will work out fine. I have faith in that.....I have faith that Allah will see me to have the life thats best for me...even if it seems horrible at the time. I suppose that seems foolish to most people...but its only because today we all seem to have lost our way...lost our purpose... God is the only reality....from him there is no gift that can be withheld from you or pain that you can keep from suffering. In the end I think this is the only important thing.

]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/11132166/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/11132166/ Wed, 20 Dec 2006 20:22:24 PST
while I am far being perfect, it would seem my cries have been heard....my angel had come again.

I'm on my own now...but I know what I have to do in order to better myself. I will do what I must in order for this to happen.

Good things don't happen to those who despair but instead to those who persevere, who are good, and who are patient.

I have a long way to go...but the journey is just as important as the destination.

]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/10779132/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/10779132/ Sun, 19 Nov 2006 14:55:18 PST
I'm trying to find a tech support job (only one semester left till i get my degrees). One of my instructors at school said he might be able to hook me up but i haven't been hearing from him which makes me worried.

but in the event i do get a decent job I will be able to move out and get my own place which is something that i feel might really help me.

Along with that I haven't heard from my love in over a month. Its a complicated long distance thing you could only find in the most dire of romantic stories so I wont try to explain it here. Most ppl would say I'm crazy for waiting (actually I was told this by a former teacher and someone who I had respect for) but I wouldn't have any other future so trying to change my mind is quite impossible.

So it seems I've been dragged down again...I knew something was wrong when I started listening to the new country western songs on the radio (the slow sad songs) aka The Wreckers. So thats where Michelle Branch went....lol

So in conclusion I'm pretty sure no one reads this...but its ok....theres really only one person I really need reading this anyway. i love you sweetheart...I hope your doing well *kiss*

]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/10427674/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/10427674/ Tue, 17 Oct 2006 19:42:45 PDT

So I've gone through some bad times a couple weeks back and I cant really say things have gotten a whole lot better but i kinda guess they have.

Got into an awesome guild in warcraft and made my way up to one of the head officers which makes me really happy cuz i got some good friends in there. still trying to solve all the problems in my life and that hasnt been going anywhere really but its all a matter of time.

with school, work, and wow im really starting to lack on the whole sleeping department. im always tired now and that sometimes makes me lazy and short tempered and whatever. maybe if i didnt have to get up at 4am things wouldnt be so bad eh?

]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/10142742/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/10142742/ Thu, 21 Sep 2006 13:06:45 PDT

But this is all besides the point.

While going to pay for the CD I ran into someone I knew from high school. He was working and joking with some of the other employees until he saw me. I was gonna say 'hi' but he gave me that 'oh shit' look and proceeded to slowly back behind something to hide just moments before he realized it was too late and I already saw him. Of course I quickly turned and headed a different direction to avoid any further contact but this event still has me puzzled over what kind of a person ppl think I am? What kind of image did I place in high school (graduated 2 years ago in on june 3 2004). Sure I thought this guy was a moron (and rightfully so) but I never actually said or did anything to him. I'm confused.....

I know I rarely smile (hey, its not my fault my life sucks!) but I'm sick of people just not understanding me at all. I mean...my 'best friend' is so self centered and has such a big ego that I'm gonna stop answering my phone when he calls and I dont even know if I have a girlfriend anymore (its long distance and complicated and her parents dont like it so dont ask).

I swear I thought I had one person who understood me but now I dont think they do. As for the rest of the world? Well...the words happy and peaceful just dont seem to be in thier vocabulary. ]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/9862800/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/9862800/ Sat, 26 Aug 2006 13:55:07 PDT
When describing what fills up my time during the day i simply say that I'm a full time student working a full time job that just happens to be a World of Warcraft addict....full time....

I started school this past week which means my days can sometimes be about 17 hours long with work, school, and commuting back and forth.

I was relieved my first two classes because it seemed to wield little homework but my third class easily made up for this because I get to add a 20 page paper to the oh so very long list of things I need to do.

As if school wasnt enough, I now work about 6 days a week...err....well...half day on saturday but still...

chris is busy....

of course if I wasnt so busy I would prolly be able to realize how unhappy and depressed I really am....so I guess its good I'm to busy to have feelings.....

so how is everyone else doing? ]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/9578105/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/9578105/ Wed, 02 Aug 2006 14:29:06 PDT
This past weekend I really needed to get my mind off some stuff and while my parents were away I took the horrible, already peeling wallpaper off our bathroom walls and painted everything a nice light tanish type color. Its something my parents said they would like done but never did it themselves (just like everything else around here). Everything looks a lot nicer now, thats for sure.

But besides that I guess nothing is happening. Almost getting done with (hopefully) my last summer class EVER! Yeah right...im sure that isnt gonna happen. I'm kinda looking forward to getting this school year over with. Then I can just get a job and move out of my parents house. What a wonderful day that will be .

My girlfriend thinks I should stay with my parents until her and I get married but that would drive me insane enough to possibly put me in an asylum...and that wouldnt be good for anyone!
I'm used to being on my own... ]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/9416968/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/9416968/ Tue, 18 Jul 2006 14:07:09 PDT

At least I have about a month to go before the madness starts and then only 2 more semesters before I get my degree

Of course theres always the possibility that the school will add a class in the end that I will have to take in order to complete school....I would certainly hate to go an extra semester just for one class

I have some work I'm going to try to get loaded on. It may take some time, however, since the last couple of times I loaded something on it doesnt show up. ]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/9412284/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/9412284/ Tue, 18 Jul 2006 02:51:28 PDT ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/9336514/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/9336514/ Mon, 10 Jul 2006 20:03:54 PDT of course no one looks at this anyway

if i load new things i will comment on it in the journal and if my work doesnt show up i would ask someone...anyone to comment and tell me

ive noticed a problem with loading things on my page...i dont think my latest pieces have showed...destruction of the necromancer and struggle within

if you cant see them plz let me know so i can try to upload them agian. ]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/9224352/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/9224352/ Thu, 29 Jun 2006 18:31:28 PDT ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/8910505/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/8910505/ Mon, 29 May 2006 10:46:38 PDT
the stupid format is all wrong in comparison to how i had it wrote...i went through and put back all the indents and everything and then half of them didnt even show up. you would think i could just copy and paste stuff in from a word document but i guess DA doesnt want to make anything too easy....

i will have it up ASAP but as my frustration grows i may just leave it for a while.....till i have time ]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/7867010/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/7867010/ Sat, 11 Feb 2006 17:26:27 PST
ive got about 3 things in the works right now...just finishing off one...not sure about the other, and the third (a short story ive been working on for almost 9-10 months now) is finally wrapping up.

i know it takes me a long time to write anything but i really feel the need to finish it or add on before i do anything. i like to write when i have the inspiration to do so and not just to get something together. that way all my stuff is the best it can be.

quality, not quantity ]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/6241187/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/6241187/ Tue, 16 Aug 2005 07:49:26 PDT
If anyone currently plays this game my name is Deathria, im a night elf druid and im on the Azgalor realm....send me a whisper or a note or something and maybe we can help each other out...

Its such a wonderful game....letting yourself immerse in a different world....I especially like where the night elves live...that forest in Teldrassil is so beautiful...wish I could live there.... ]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/5586973/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/5586973/ Wed, 08 Jun 2005 07:52:47 PDT I will still try to submit things I come up with on the fly, but my major projects (however not going very fast anyway) will be coming to a hault for a while. ]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/5444555/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/5444555/ Tue, 24 May 2005 02:56:22 PDT
usually when this happens i am able to describe what it is that bothers me but this time....it eludes me....and that is bothersome in its own respect

I am now thinking of scraping my 'Destruction of The Necromancer' project because the situation in which fueled my ability to write it has changed slightly. but, no, i think i will take that back and complete it anyway which has been something i have been rather uninspired to do for one reason or another...

oh well you cant rush art....right? ]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/5260809/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/5260809/ Tue, 03 May 2005 22:08:22 PDT
My project 'Destruction of the Necromancer' is coming along nicely but I have decided to add yet another section on delaying it for an undetermined period of time. Plus I got all those school reports *looks worried*

ENJOY!!! ]]> ~Jedi-Consular http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/5190623/ http://Jedi-Consular.deviantart.com/journal/5190623/ Mon, 25 Apr 2005 23:38:50 PDT ~Jedi-Consular