Alive and Kicking!

~JenaCide — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 13:40:09 PDT

Hey guys! Been a while I know, so figured I'd give an update.

I have to move house again next week. As I am on my own now I need somewhere cheaper to rent, and I found somewhere in the town I am in now. So won't have the net again for a while. Just typical!

Anyway, I guess I didn't tell the whole story about my marriage break up, so will give a quick run down now. Things hadn't been right between me and Skit for quite a while, just neither of us really admit it. Then about 4 months ago I got back in touch with a very old friend of mine, a guy I have been friends with since I was 9 years old. We always were interested in each other, but it was never the right time. So anyway, we met up as friends But the more we met up, the more we realised we had feelings for each other. Now lets get one thing straight... Nothing happened between us, we stayed as friends but it made me think about the state of my marriage, and after much soul searching and talking with Skit it was decided to call it a day. It wasn't a bad break up, we are still friends, and he gave me and my friend his blessing if we want to start something.

And well, we have, and I am very, very happy. Its still early days, and we are taking things slowly, but its going great. The effect its had on me is noticable. everyone tells me how happy I look, how different my behaviour is, and I am loosing weight and getting healthy. Its a whole new me

Anyway, got to go now. See you guys around

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"The day a child realises that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent;
The day he forgives them he becomes an adult;
The day the child forgives himself, he becomes wise"

by Alden Nowlan

Another one closes.

Just a quick update, still have no net but I can use mum and dads for now.

Move went fine, its a great house and I love being back in Bentham.

Sadly it looks like it might be times up for Skit and me. Its hard to accept but things just arn't working out so in a few weeks we may be seperating, at least for a little while. Its a mutual choice, we just arn't the people we once were.

Anyway, more later, just thought I'd let youkow I am still alive.

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I am moving!

~JenaCide — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 06:49:00 PDT

I've stopped rushing around like a blue arsed fly for a while, so time to update this journal.

On the 1st Aug I am moving to a new place with Skit. Its not the house we went to see, that didn't work out, but the one we did get is even better! Its a 200 year old 2 bedroomed cottage, with really low cielings and a wood burning stove. Oh, its great, and so pretty! I am sure I will find it very inspirational. However the stairs are wooden and quite steep so i may end up killing myself on them if I drink too much.

So its all change, which I am looking forward to. It can be a whole new start.

Amd feeling a little melancholy, but thats something i wont go into

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Well, due to all the shit that happened with Scotts sacking from work and the worsening of his condition due to stress, and the knock on effect with me, it seems pretty certain we will be losing the house as we are behind in our mortgage payments, and despite being assured that we would be able to work something out with the mortgage company they have told us we have to pay and extra Â£140 on top of our existing payments or thats it. Now we can afford our payments now, but not the extra Â£140. Unless we don't eat which isn't really an option. So the eviction process will start in a motnh, and in three months we would find ourselves homeless.

However there is another option. We find somewhere to live A.S.A.P, and send the mortgage company the keys to the house, its called Vacant Possession.

Now like I said, I know I should be more upset than this, and don't get me wrong, I do feel like something of a failure for this, my perfect brother and sister have NEVER lost a house, and I just know I will get bitched out by my sister at least for this. However, on monday we are going to look at a 3 bedroomed house in High Bentham (my home town where I grew up) that we can rent. And I am actually looking forward to it. See, this place stopped feeling like home to me once the asshole neighbors started ruining things with the abuse and stuff. Home is where you feel safe, not where you feel a prisoner because THEY might be outside with their stupid freinds. A new start is just what we need, Scott and I go back to Bentham on a regular basis already, and Scott is amazed how people accept him there. He isn't used to to total starmgers greeting him like a long lost friend and talking to him, he is used to people calling him a freak and trying to start trouble. Plus there is the whole mental health support group "Looking Well" in Bentham that he can be part of.

So here is me, looking on the positive side for a change. Woo, go me!

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Twilight: A Review

~JenaCide — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 07:44:46 PDT

So a week ago I decided to get the book Twilight by Stephanie Meyer to see what all the fuss was about. It seems to be one of those books where you either love of it or hate it.

***DISCLAIMER!!!! This is my opinion, and mine alone. If you disgaree with anything I say then thats fine, we are all different people. I repsect your views, so please respect mine in return and don't flame me over anything!

I liked the cover. The pale hands holding an red apple, very symbolic

I have to say within the first 5 or 10 pages, I already had a bit of a dislike for Bella Swan. I don't know why, but the whole thing about her moving to Forks smacked of self pity and matrydom. But hey, she is meant to be a teenager so I guess its normal. But throughout the book I just couldn't help but feel she is somehow... Oh well, I don't know, but there is so little detail about her its hard to find anything likeable about her. The only concrete information you get about her is she likes reading, and things like Sense and Sensability. I enjoy books that build up personalities for the characters, and I found it sadly lacking in Bella's case. How can I feel for a character I barely know?

On to Edward. Hmmm, a sexy vampire, can't really go wrong there can you. Well, maybe just a little. I have always prefered the "Vamp and loving it" types to the "tortured monster" types. Its one reason I am not an Anne Rice fan. The whole thing about him warning Bella every 5 seconds how dangerous he is just got annoying for me after a while. Ok, we GOT it already!!! But I liked the quirks he had, like driving fast A speeding vampire, lol! Edward seems a little TOO perfect though. And I have to say he comes across as quite stalkerish. If I had been Bella and found out he had been watching me every night I'd have freaked the fuck out, not think its sweet! But I am the girl who finds Sting's "Every Step You Take" sinister.

The whole thing about her moving to Forks, then the courtship was a tad slow for my liking, a bit too muich filler, but when the action with the other vampires kicked off thats when I feel the book got a lot better. Perosnally I'd have had more Cullen action in the book, I think Alice is great, lets see more Alice!

Anyway, on the whole its not a bad book, but I have read much better. It certainly filled an afternoon, and I have had worse afternoons The characters need improvement, but its a first book, so there is hope. I am certainly going to pick up the others in the series before passing further judgement.

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A few years ago Scott and I met a guy called Will. In a computer shop of all places, he was there as a customer as well and we got chatting, ended up going for coffee and became freinds. He used to DM Dungeons and Dragons for us and some other friends. He was a good guy.

Will however was not a well guy. He had epilepsy and diabetes, and was frquently in and out of hospital, so sometimes it was hard to keep in touch. He also did not have a good relationship with his parents, and as a result he had more or less nothing to do with his family.

He died 3 months ago, at the age of 24. And I didn't know. He went into hosptial about his diabetes, and when he came out he was the healthiest he had been for ages. He put much needed weight on, apparantly seemed more cheereful and everything. The a few weeks later he went to bed one evening and never woke up. The doctors said it was his diabetes. I only found out today because the guy who runs the computer shop told me.

But you know the worst thing? As he didn't talk to his family all his friends were clubbing together for his funeral, but his family turned round and inisted they paid for it and sorted it out. So his friends though maybe his family regretted the rift between them. But no. They left his body in the morgue for 8 WEEKS, until the local council stepped in and burried him in an unmarked grave in a local ceremony. See, his dad tried to say the hopsital had made a mistake with his diabetes, but when it was decided they hadn't, and therefore there would be no claim for compensation his shitty bloody family just left him to rot. I really, really hope karma comes and kickes them up the ass, I really do. And this from so called devout christians.

I'm going to try and find out exactly where his grave is and pay my respects. I hope his soul finds a better place, and better people.

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The Cat Army wants YOU!!

~JenaCide — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 07:28:44 PDT

There is a movement taking over DA... And I am part of it! Muah hah hah!!

Just kidding, but lookie lookie! I had a lovely avvy made for me by , and if DA has updated it you will be able to see it on the top of my page! Great isn't it!

=cats-aint-waterproof takes commissions for them, though she is quite booked up right now I think, but go check it out, she has an entire cat army going!

Sadly is does seem some people have no originality and have tried to rip off her design, and even the idea of the cat army, but =cats-aint-waterproof is the original and the best ^^

Oh, and picked up a copy of Twilight to see what all the fuss is about. Will tell you more after I read it.

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When I was a teenager I adored special effects. I am not talking the fancy ass CGI things you get nowadays, a mean honest to god, good old fashioned make up, costume and animatronic special effects. And as a fan, one of my all time hero's was Stan Winston, the guy responsible for the Alien Queen from Aliens, the Terminator exo-skeleton and the Predator. I would have given anything to have even a fraction of his talent.

Well, today, I found out my hero is dead.

[link]

Sadly he died last sunday, leaving the world a much more ordinary place.

R.I.P Stan.

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As you can probably tell, I spent this afternoon checking out my old school friends on Friends Reunited, and it made me all nostalgic. Not that I had many friends at school, I always have been a private person, but there were a few. I found out a few years ago that my best friend until I was 16 died in a car crash in 1998, two years after she left school. And I never knew. We just drifted apart after school, and the next thing I know she has been dead for years without me knowing. I felt guilty at the time, not knowing til then, but now I realise these things happen, people change and move on, and its not a bad thing, its just life.

I sent a message to another person i used to be good freinds with in middle school. It will be nice if he replies, but you never know. I wont leave sleep if he doesn't. Its not like we are the same people we used to be, I know I am not! I wasn't a goth at school for one I was crazy however, some things never change.

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So its all change again, at least for now. What can I say, I love roses.

In other news, its too damned hot. Snow! Snow! Gimmie SNOW dammit! Will write more later when I have time, gotta meet mum soon.

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Home is where the Chavs are...

~JenaCide — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 03:39:47 PDT

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Close, but no CSS

~JenaCide — Tue, 20 May 2008 10:41:05 PDT

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Please Mr Postman!!

~JenaCide — Mon, 19 May 2008 04:27:18 PDT

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Hair today, gone tomorrow!

~JenaCide — Tue, 13 May 2008 11:30:42 PDT

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Finally Some Good News!!!

~JenaCide — Fri, 09 May 2008 06:35:21 PDT

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Woot, new art!

~JenaCide — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 14:18:51 PDT

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Oooh... Shiny!

~JenaCide — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 09:21:09 PDT

Recent News

Lookie! A brand new account, all ready for molesting! *licks account*

Hee hee hee

Seriously though, I was a member before, and things kind of went astray, so i decided to make a fresh start with a new name and a spanking new journal! It took me hours to choose the one I liked best, but I finally decided on this one. Its sooo pwetty

So what else have I done recently. Oh, bought a new pair of Doc Martens. Black, with skulls and stuff on. Mum preferred a white pair with butterflies on, and they were very nice, but they cost alot more. Not like I could really afford the ones I bought, but we all deserve a hard earned treat occasionally dont we?

Anyway, things have been pretty damn rough recently. My husband lost his job at the begining of the year, and the stress of it all brought my depression problems back with avengance. But life goes on, and so must we. This new account is part of my attempt to pick up the pieces and get my life back on track. Not been at work for a while, but I am hoping to change that and go back soon. Not sure where I will be working, but will find out soon enough. I just hope I dont have to take out my eyebrow ring, I have gotten kind of fond of it seeing as my old job allowed me to wear pretty much whatever I liked due to the fact I was answering phones and had no contact with the public. I may have to get rid of the red streaks in my hair too, but I fancied a change anyway!

I hope to have some stuff to upload soon, so watch this space! I just have to keep off the computer games long enough to do something. Damn things, they take up most of your life before you know it, and thats not a good thing at all.

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Coming soon!

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deviantART: by:JenaCide

Alive and Kicking!

I am moving!

Twilight: A Review

The Cat Army wants YOU!!

Home is where the Chavs are...

Close, but no CSS

Please Mr Postman!!

Hair today, gone tomorrow!

Finally Some Good News!!!

Woot, new art!

Oooh... Shiny!