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        <title>deviantART: by:KayosUnleashed</title>
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        <pubDate>Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:29:31 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>Update</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/25656711/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 30 Jun 2009 17:10:44 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well, now that school is out for the summer, I thought that I should give some love to my long neglected gallery. So I've uploaded some stuff that I did for class and some stuff that was just me messing around. Hope you enjoy. <img src="http://e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" /><br /><br />Speaking of school, I just finished up at SLCC with my AA in Art with emphasis on Photography. Last week I was accepted to Westminister College and will be going there to complete my BFA. <img src="http://e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" /> Its a happy thing.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Well Hell</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/23702327/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 14 Mar 2009 21:31:19 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ In the middle of my shity week, my Cannon SLR has died. It gets no power and won't turn on. There is the sound of something rattling around inside. I'm just worried how long it will take to get it repaired. <br /><br />On the upside, I got a new little point and shoot that has been traveling around with me.<br /><br />Also today while trying to drill a hole in a cowrie shell, I put a quarter inch hole in my finger. It cauterized as it went trough. So no bleeding. Just stung like a bitch. <br /><br />This week is Spring Break. Hopefully this week will go better.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Interwebs</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/18934590/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 19 Jun 2008 17:07:11 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ As many of you know, I have been with out internet for about the past 2 months. Well, we now have that fixed and I should be back in business with uploading some new stuff. Yeay!<br /><br />-Kitten<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Art Show</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/17772798/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 09 Apr 2008 23:42:24 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Yesterday my class went to the schools art show. At first I wasn't to impressed with anything, then I moved to the back. There were some awesome shots from other students who were in the studio photography class that I was in last semester (and failed cause I suck). Looking at how great they have all progressed and how I seem to be stuck, only added to my depression. I really need to start working on my photography. Get out there and do it instead of sitting around thinking about it. If I'm going to be serious about it then I need to get out and actually work on it. If not, then I'll just be one of those half ass-ed cheap photographers. <br /><br />I wish I had more time for things....<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Icon</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/17617544/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 01 Apr 2008 01:15:57 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Hay my...so did everyone....wait a minute..... Oh....now I get it....<br /><br />Teehee teehee.....<br /><br /><img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" /><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Sheesh.</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/17203526/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 05 Mar 2008 23:56:08 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So our internet has been shut off for about a week or so (its back on now), and I come to check my DA and I have about 186 deviations to check.<br /><br />Sheesh!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>A Business Venture</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/16741220/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:36:08 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So, I'm thinking of possibly (in the later future), opening my own gallery to show peoples art in. It would be large, with several rooms to display different exhibits in. Probably do different featured themes and have it open to all types of art. There would be a room where open classes would be held for drawing/painting/demos/ lecture stuff. It would be laid out so that there could be fashion shows and local bands. Outside would be a garden where people could paint and plant things. Kind of an "Art Garden" type place. There would also be room on the cement walls where tag artists could come and paint it for a time to have it shown, then after a certain amount of time another artist could post their own. It would be a constant changing thing. I would call it the Boughhaus (after the German house of thought/art.<br /><br />Does this sound like something that would be interesting? Something that the art community would find usefull and worth while?<br /><br />Just putting out some feeler to see if this would be something that I should truly persue and go through with, or if it is something that I would be wasting my time with.<br /><br /><img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" /><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>New Toy</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/16478851/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 19 Jan 2008 17:56:07 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ SQUEEE!!! My brand new release cable for my camera came today!! Huza!!!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Thank You Santa</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/16117127/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 26 Dec 2007 23:53:18 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I got my wish! For Christmas I got a Cannon XTi! I'm so thrilled! This means you will be seeing more work from me <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" />.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>DA Dump</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/15894095/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 11 Dec 2007 18:03:29 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So, now that the semester is over and I have some more free time. I'm going to be doing several DA dumps and loading a whole bunch of pics up at a time. <br />
<br />
Just as a warning. <br />
<br />
I'm also planning on doing some shoots over the break, if anyone is interested.<br />
<br />
-me<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Another Year Older</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/15256317/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 28 Oct 2007 10:50:29 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So the other week I turned 24. You know what that means, I turn a quarter of a century old next year. Man I feel old. And my body is starting to act its age. But yeah....<br />
<br />
Other then that, nothing to new... <br />
<br />
I'm going to try and post some new stuff.<br />
<br />
-me<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Artists Constipation</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/13529763/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 28 Jun 2007 19:06:07 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So recently I've been buzzing around DA looking at some pretty fantastic art. This is all good and what not, but I go back and look at my own art (mostly drawing) and I start to kick myself. I've been in collage for 5 years now for art and it still looks like a half asleep high schooler did it. So, to try and kick my artistic mode I figured I'd tinker with my old friend Photoshop. For a while now I've been meaning to do a portrait of my vampire character for Vampire the Requiem. So there she is. Ia Tesla. I think I'm going to wander around the net a little bit more to find more inspiration.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Things To Come</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/11656918/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 02 Feb 2007 08:16:25 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So whaddya know, I went to class today. And as I'm sitting here being somewhat productive (or at least faking it) I decided that I shall use this day to update my gallaries. Mostly because I'm using this day to scan in old negatives. And there are alot so I might actually have something to put in my portfolio to show for going on 5 years worth of Collage. <br />
<br />
For the first little bit it will be pictures from my barn, a local graveyard, and naked people. So stay tuned for the naked people. <br />
<br />
Maybe I'll get off my ass and post some of my doodles.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Gistalt</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/10990180/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 08 Dec 2006 01:23:40 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So, night while sitting in the kitchen, eating soup and working on recovering from being sick. I came up with this idea while talking to Richard. Someone starts a piece of artwork. Could just be a few line strokes or the bare basics of a body. Then they add their name to the bottom, save it and email it to one of their art friends. The next person adds onto it, adds their name, and emails it on. It keeps going for about 10 people. And the 10th person gets to finish it off and send the final one back to all 9 of the other artists so that they can post it, print it, burn it, or whatever with it. <br />
<br />
I just thought it would be an amusing game. Let me know if anyone else maybe interested in this. I just might start it.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Death By Finals</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/10909327/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 01 Dec 2006 04:57:56 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I really should be asleep right now. But I procrastinated and got kicked in the ass for it. Go figure. After 5 more hours I'll have one class out of the way and over with and 2 left to stress over.<br />
<br />
My goal for this winter beak is to try and draw at least every other day. Also to update my DA with some of the crap I've been doing in class.<br />
<br />
Thats it for now.<br />
<br />
I'm going to attempt to get some sleep in for today.<br />
<br />
Glorg, somebody spoon my brian out...<br />
<br />
X_X<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Tattoo</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/10309142/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 06 Oct 2006 22:33:45 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ My birthday is coming up and I'm thinking of getting a tattoo. Its either going to be the Perfect Cirle symbol on my sternum or the Libra symbol on the back of my neck. The only problem is that I can't decide on which one. Or if I get the libra symbol I want it to be cool, not like the normal one. I have yet to find one that really grabs me...<br />
<br />
Oh well, I have till the 19th to decide.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>22</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/6841472/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 23 Oct 2005 00:01:24 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well I made it to 22. Celibrated my birthday by eating my own weight in sushi and sashimi. Downed it all with 4 shots of sake. The went to Area 51 and had a beer and a drink called Vampires Delight. Well, fish and liqure don't get along to well. Elin left and to me home (I spent the night at his place). I love him so much. I just went and colapesd in his bed. He stripped me down so I could sleep better. I was out by the time he came in for his smoke. So, I think I will be staying away from alcohol for a while. But I got a portable DVD player. Yeay me! Now I can watch anime anywhere anytime. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I'm a mother!</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/6287947/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 21 Aug 2005 12:38:45 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well my pregnant rat gave birth to 13 pups. They are so cute! The look like little flesh grapes that sqweek like plastic. Only one didn't make it. In 2 weeks we'll be able to handle them and their eyes will be open. Elin and I are so excited and happy. I have pics that I'll post in scraps later tonight. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Tahdah!</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/6174275/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 09 Aug 2005 00:21:38 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Ok. I'll actually type on this one (if my computer will actually load the update properly). So there's some art from me. Figured it had been a while. There are pics from the last fetish night and about 4 from the June one. I didn't get as meny in june because it was having...problems...with people. Go figure. <br />
<br />
Who knows. Maybe this week I'll kick my ass into gear and scan some pics that I've drawn. Its been a long while. I rarely now find the time to draw. Its been making me a bit sad. But with school starting up, I should have plenty of time to draw in clas to keep me awake. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/6168576/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 08 Aug 2005 12:27:25 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[  ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Udates</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/6168572/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 08 Aug 2005 12:26:50 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ There are some pics from Fretish Night. Got more to go when i get off of work tonight. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Blah</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/6082344/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 30 Jul 2005 21:38:13 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Blah. So I went to the doctor and found out that I have an inner ear inffection. So I'm a doped up Kitten. Got 3 meds that I'm on now. But hay, I got doc's orders to chew gum. <br />
<br />
Last night I went to Fetish Night. Took a bunch of pics like normal but sadly I didn't get anything that I was proud of. I'll post them later after I save them all. Afterwards we went home. Elin and I were quite buzzed (I likes my beer). So we showered and went to bed. Sadly my fever from the day before got worse. I didn't sleep well cuz I was sweating. Today I was to sick to go to work. I felt bad. <br />
<br />
But hay, I got pictures coming up soon. If I like any of them, I might post some of the pics my friend Peter got of me.<br />
<br />
<br />
-Kitten ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Fuck it all</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/5899695/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 10 Jul 2005 23:40:38 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Yesterday I Woke up. My laptop is completely dead. Won't even turn on. There goes 3 years and more worth of art and pictures. Don't know if I'll be able to save them. Then I get out to my car. It had been broken into. Cd's and back pack are gone. They also stole part of my condom collection. Yesterday sucked ass. I really just wanted to go back to bed and start over.<br />
<br />
Cds that are gone:<br />
Rammstien- Reis Ries and Mutter<br />
A Perfect Circle- 13th Step and their first CD<br />
TATU<br />
Hellsing the anime sound track<br />
Korn- Follow the leader and Issues<br />
ICP- The Amazing Jeckle Brothers and The Great Milinko<br />
Garbage- Version 2.0<br />
Manson- Coma White<br />
Atreyu- The Curse<br />
Gorrillaz- both there cds<br />
<br />
Thats all I can remember. For now my dad is letting me use his laptop while we work on saving my files from my old one. *sigh* I just want my backpack back. I wrote a note and put it in my windows asking for it back just incase they come by it again. Hope it works.I've had that back pack sense 9th grade and it has some of my art in it and a shit load of dead pens. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Updatin time</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/5575592/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 07 Jun 2005 00:01:13 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So I got a little modivated and decided to put up some pics from Fetish night. Haven't really drawn much but I do have on that I am going to be posting as soon as I can.<br />
<br />
enjoy. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Tada</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/4463526/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 31 Jan 2005 15:43:31 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Hi-o. I'm still alive...sorta. Am  currently looking for a job. Going to  school. In need of sleep. I have a  doodle that I did for Elin that I'm  going to put up after I get it colored.  Weeee..... ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Past While In A Nutshell</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3789982/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 08 Nov 2004 23:19:29 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Ok. Past few weeks has been rough.  Phsyicaly, mentaly, and emotionaly.  Rocky Point got over. As I walked to my  car I was hit. Thankfully they were  only going 25 and found the breaks.  Banged my back and knee. Got cold and  landed in a puddle of snow. My knee  still hurts at times. To stuborn to go  see a doctor about it. Tuesday after  that went to work. Got fired.  Apparently taking a wrapped sandwich  out of the trash is theft. Went home.  Got into a rather large fight with my  dad that ended with me kicked (and  volintaraly leaving) out of the house.  So I went and lived with Elin.  Thankfull (and shockingly) his parents  welcomed me. Thursday I get a call from  my dad saying that he loved me and  could care less if I had a job or not  and asked if I was going to come home.  He said he could understand wanting to  take a few days of being away from him.  Sunday I decided to come home. Don't  really like leaving my dad alone. With  him being old and my mom being dead. So  yeah. There it is in a nut shell. All  my thx to Pika and BTDM and Ryan for  worrying about me and Thx to Elin for  letting me crash at his place. <br />
<br />
*Sighs and sips juice box*<br />
<br />
Once the negative scanner in the photo  lab decides to stop being a bitch I'll  have some more pics to put up. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>21</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3646174/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 21 Oct 2004 23:55:04 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well I did it. I lived to my 21st  birthday. Couple months ago I really  didn't think it was going to happen.  But it did. On the 19th. Got alot of  great stuff. A MP3 player, The Rocky  Horror Picture Show on DVD, The  soundtrack to Hellsing, Mutter, Riese  Riese, a cool knife, and a bunch of  gift certificates. It was fun. <br />
<br />
On the down side on wednsday (the day  after) I broke out into a fever. Had it  untill about 10 that night. Still felt  like crap today but I rested all day  with Elin so I'm feeling a bit better.  If I stop being so lazy one of these  days I'll put up some of the pics I've  taken for my classes. Got some real  great ones including ones of Elin and  Amanda as nudes. They look great. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Thoughts</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3515529/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 04 Oct 2004 23:41:03 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I think that I'm being to lazy with my  drawing. Then again I always have. I  need to work on it. But then again my  photography I think is improving a  bit...<br />
<br />
Life has been going better. I'm working  on my stress levels with dealing with  people, work, and school. I also am  working on pulling my head out of my  ass and getting homework done after a 2  week slack period because one of my  teachers was out of town. So I'm  hunkering down to try and get  everything done early so I can study  for tests then later have time to still  see my Elin. Need to keep my sanity  some how. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Dwelling Again</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3435707/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3435707/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 24 Sep 2004 11:38:04 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Think I am now starting to understand  what Clint ment when he said "your  Jake's problem now." I'm a burden no  one should have to bare. I only bring  pain and a loss of time... ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Another day down</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3322048/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3322048/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 08 Sep 2004 23:40:19 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So yeah. Life has been going. I'll just  leave it at that. Proud that I'm  halfway though my book. Schools just  going. Feel a bit bad that Clint is now  even more anti-social and will still  stay out of the same room as me and  often just sits alone so I feel like  I'm pushing him away from his  "friends". Don't even know if he likes  any of them any more. He did last year  so I can't help but to feel a bit bad.  Maybe I'll just take a week and sit on  the other side of the campus so he can  be social.<br />
<br />
I've been working closing shift. Last  night I think went well. Hope tonight  goes ok. Then I'm free for the week.  Hopefuly tomarrow I will be able to  spend some time with Elin. Yesterday  morning when I was getting ready to  leave for school he knocked on my door  and had been in front of my house sense  about 4am writing me a love letter. It  was so sweet. I took him to school and  snuggled him for it. I miss all the  time we use to have to spend with  eachother. So yup yup. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>A day of pain and joy</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3267065/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3267065/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2004 23:46:19 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Tomarrow (actualy today) Sept. 2 would  have been Clint and I's 2 year  aniversery. The probably would have  been a date, dinner and maybe a movie,  followed by some intamet stuff. Its  been almost 5 months that we broke up  and a little over a month that he has  said anything to me. I highly doubt he  would remember and or care. It was 2  years ago that we met in Brent Budds  class at SLCC. He made the first moves  by drawing a very board me. After that  we talked in the parking lot for almost  an hour (I got sun burned). Made plans  to meet up the next monday which was  Labor day. We went to the mall and  Travis meet up with us. On the ride  home he made us ask each other out. It  worked out well. Found out that he was  my soul mate and we had lots in common.  Over the course of our relationship we  did Kendo, got into Vampire the  Masqurade, had meny parties, watched  lots of anime, took lots of classes  together, went to Jackson Hole, went to  Misquitee to move his mom, had a bunny  die on us, got Lucifur, got Sarah and  Jarred together, went to hocky games,  got him his job, went golfing, walked  miles for gas cuz of my stubbornness,  play meny a game of strip poker,  wrestles alot, visited his family in  Riverton and got pumped full of his  grandma's rice pudding, made plans for  the future, had sushi in the park with  Jarred and Byan, would drink on nights  I could stay over, would wake up at  ungodly hours in the morning to take  him to work, had him and his mom over  for X-Mas and ThxGiving, went with me  for my piercings and held my and and  let me do the same for him, would cook  dumplings together, and the list goes  on. Its at about 117 posative items I  can think of.<br />
<br />
But sadly things went horrably wrong  and I ended up hurting him more then I  ever could have imagined. Kinda sad to  think that all the posative things I  can think of that we did and our  friendship was all distroys by several  bad things and a lack of not caring.  But I wish him well. I wish him the  happienes we once and more. I wish him  what I could not give him. <br />
<br />
Now I find myself in slight envey of  couples who broke up during bad times  and went through hell and still make  the effort to talk to each other. I'm  no longer allowed to speak. But I guess  this was all brought on by me and its  just my own damn karma kicking me in  the ass. Still think its really harsh  and I can still feel large peices of  myself missing but I guess we all heal  with time...or something like that. <br />
<br />
Tomarow will be a test to see if I can  keep myself together. Not like anything  will happen. It will probably go on  like every normal day. Him avoiding me  and I not wanting to piss him off  anymore (Sorry, once I obey a Lover it  takes a long while for it to go away).  My hope is for our best, on both sides.  Guess only time will tell if he will  ever remember me again and the year and  7 months we spent together.<br />
<br />
 <br />
<br />
P.S. For this day I will be doing  something that I hope no one is  offended by. If you don't notice then  don't worry about it. Its just to  celebrate the good times of a lost  friend who I loved so dearly. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Pondering</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3246466/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 30 Aug 2004 10:59:41 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Have you ever wondered how people would  react if you just suddenly died. I hope  I would be missed. I know Elin, Pika,  and BTDM would probably miss me. Mochi  would 'get over it'. Clint would  probably have sex with his wife on my  grave and do a happy dance. It was just  a random passing thought...<br />
<br />
Will's kitten died this morning... Much  sad... ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Self Inproovement</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3246456/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3246456/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 30 Aug 2004 10:57:56 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So the general consensous in my mind  for the past long while has been that I  hate myself and I am very undisirable  (ugly). Mostly cuz it has been prooven  so meny a time. I'm slowly trying to  fix that...its going to take a long  long time. Figured thats why my past  love was always so depressed. Hell, I  would be too if I had to date me. Some  ugly chick who doesn't put out. So  yeah. Tonight I took a nice scolding  hot bath to and see if it would make me  feel better. It did a little. Sat there  and read my new tip book "Good Girls  Guid To Bad Girl Sex". Defentely need  to improove in that area. I will be  happy once I can get a guy to cream his  pants just by kissing him. Long term  goal of course. I've decided on these  goal for me to try and make me feel  better and possably a bit more  'attractive':<br />
<br />
-Work out a bit more to get some  deffinition<br />
-Watch what I eat so I'm not just  living off of pop-tarts again<br />
-Work on my flexability cuz I miss it<br />
-Work on kissing<br />
and finaly<br />
-Take better care of my skin.<br />
<br />
So there you have it. Lets see if my  lazyness can be pushed aside for this. <br />
<br />
-Kitten<br />
<br />
P.S.- Shaving in the bath tub is a hell  of a lot better then doing it in the  shower. Expecialy for those hard to  reach area's. <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/w/wink.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=";-)" title=";-) (Wink)" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>ARGH!!</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3211218/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3211218/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 25 Aug 2004 15:28:49 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I hate myself so fucking much!! Why the  hell do I even have emotions?!?! How is  it that one person can make you  absolutly terrifyed to go anywhere that  they may possably be? I thought I would  be fine, but NO!! I just had to fuck  myself over with this useless thing  call emotion! God fucking damnit!!  *rams fist into cement for a while.*  You think that after a summer I could  burry all of that. Never think of it  again. Why can't I be as apathetic as  him. Not give a shit about anything and  hate someone you once 'loved'. Be able  to watch people die emotionaly and just  smirk. Why is it that, that place  reminds me of good time and how much  pain I was in the end. Where I knew and  accepted that I was nothing. That I was  'thrown out like garbage'. Always to be  less then nothing. Back when I would  have gladly taken my own life right  there just on his comand. NOW ITS  BACK!! Fuck, why!?!? I have all these  knives in my back and the biggest one I  put there myself. But he helped ram it  in. Now food is back to having no  taste, the break downs are back to the  point where I can't see.<br />
My mouth constantly tastes of blood.<br />
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK KKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
I wish I was as apathetic as him... ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>*sigh*</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3210814/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3210814/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 25 Aug 2004 14:27:38 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well I'm still dispised. Looks like I  will be hiding at various parts of the  campus sense I'm not allowed around  him...This is going to suck...<br />
<br />
-Nothing ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Shit</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3180364/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3180364/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 21 Aug 2004 13:14:45 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well it appears the Clint is now going  to drag his wife to school. There goes  all of my friends. Considering we have  the same circle of them. If I get  anywere near him I'm sure she's going  to be all up in arms to kill me. Know  that they both hate me and want me  dead. *Sigh* I'll probably end up  sitting alone on the other end of the  campus. Or just hide at Dee's with  Pika. But I don't want to loose my  friends that I have there...Shoot me  now...<br />
<br />
-Kayos ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Sleep</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3089088/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3089088/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 10 Aug 2004 07:36:08 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Damnit! I woke up at 7:30am today. Not  fun considering I went to bed at 2. Its  been almost a week sense I have slept  in till 2. I miss my 10-13 hours of  sleep! Now I have to be at work by  10:30 and I'm there till 7:30. Thats a  9 hour shift on my 3rd day. <br />
<br />
I just want to curl up with someone and  sleep.<br />
<br />
-Kitten ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Jorb</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3048901/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3048901/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 05 Aug 2004 11:41:44 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Yeay me! I got a job! I work in the  Barns and Noble cafe. Amanda says that  I'm a beatnik. I started yesterday just  reading then friday I get to work on  making drinks and the register. <br />
<br />
Right now I'm waiting for my bloody  phone to gethere. I've been phoneless  sense monday and its really really  anoying. It damn well better get here  today or I will have another hissy fit.  Grrr.....<br />
<br />
-Kayos ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I hate girls</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3022174/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/3022174/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 01 Aug 2004 21:35:20 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So the other night some friends and I  went to Fetish Night like we do every  month. Went with Elin and Will. When we  got there we met up with Tim, Leslie,  Darren, Nik, and Morgan. Also ran into  Wookie, Casy, and Jaremy. Darren warned  me to keep and eye out and be careful.  So I went about my normal buisness,  visiting with my friends. While I was  sitting talking to Darren, Maria (my  ex-fiance's new wife) came over and  started to threaten me. Told me that  all I had to do was give her a reason  and she would get me thrown out of the  club. Along with "you lost him, get  over it bitch." Darren the whole time  kept telling her to back down because  he is also friends with her. Keep in  mind I have never met her before.  Through this whole thing I never said a  word to her or lifed a finger. After  she left Leslie told security, Tim went  and got Elin cuz he went to the bar for  a quick Dirty Martini (poor me for  being under age) and Darren stayed next  to me. For the rest of the night she  stayed with in 20 feet of me and kept  taunting me and telling all her  "friends" about me. Later Tim grabbed  all of us and dragged us through the  club to head off to Dee's. I stopped  all of us at the door because I wanted  to thank Darren for keeping her for  doing anything more. While we waited I  noticed that she had followed me to the  door and was going to follow me into  the parking lot to probably finish her  little bitch trip and more. Darren and  Brie (Maria and Clint's roommate) got  security to keep her in the club and  sent Jake to escort us to our car. The  next day I'm sitting at a BBQ and I get  some texts from Clint (my ex, Maria's  husband). He blames the whole thing on  me. Told me I was hurting her and  ruining their marrage. I had never met  her before. how could I hurt her let  alone ruin their marrage? Anyway, I  told him not to blame me and that she  started it all and that I had  witnesses. He just told me never to  talk to him, think about him, nothing.  Boy, do I feel like shit. I tried to  behave myself and still get yelled at.  The last thing I wanted from him. The  only reason I didn't retaliate was cuz  I knew he would hear about it and  probably get mad at me if I did  anything. So I behaved myself and had  the whole thing blamed on me. *Sigh*<br />
<br />
Wow, look, its a bitching post. Sorry  everyone.<br />
<br />
-Kayos ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Dreams</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/2967070/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 25 Jul 2004 19:51:29 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I had this really creepy but cool dream  last night. I drempt that they re-did  Jurassic Park but they made it so it  wouldn't scare little kids as much. So  what they did was they took almost all  the skin off the dinosaurs and left  them as skelitons with perfectly intact  heads. Then there were some that where  just mixed up weird critters made out  of bones. It was cool. Then there where  snakes and anacondas in my room and we  had to get them out. And one went under  my bed and I was like "No! My cow is  under there!" So I looked under and  there are these 2 cow legs with a snake  tail wrapped around them, pulling them  into the darkness. So I grab them and  pull them out. And it was my Stress Cow  (Cartoon like foam cow for squeezing)  and he was so happy I saved him. He was  about the size of a small puppy and was  acting like it too. With a tail wagging  and all. It was so cute!!<br />
<br />
Yes, I have fucked up dreams. But I'll  try and draw my Cow sometime. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Gwah...</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/2914325/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/2914325/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 18 Jul 2004 20:50:07 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well, didn't do much over this weekend.  Umm...Saw Spiderman 2. It was ok. Hit a  bit close to home for me but other then  that it was a bit on the lame side. Did  a new doodle. There will probably be  more. I'm going to try and pin down  Elin for some sketches. I'm sure he  won't mind as long as I pay him...well.  <br />
<br />
Thats about it for now. Still  depressed. Still worthless and  forgotten. But sadly alive. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>This is the New Shit</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/2827849/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/2827849/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 07 Jul 2004 18:38:19 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well, I'm still in my funk but  thankfully you can never be to  depressed to take pics. I uploaded some  from my trip down to the desert. Hope  you like. Maybe I might start drawing  again. If I do scraps I might have to  steal Mochi for his scanner. Of course  pay him back for it with what ever  services I can. <br />
<br />
This new digital camera is great. I'm  liking it alot. But I do feel guilty  for not using my old 35MM that I've  used for the past 10 years...<br />
<br />
Bleh. ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Pooy</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/2776503/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/2776503/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 01 Jul 2004 00:44:54 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Not much art from me lately. I'm going  to try and get to work on some ideas  floating around in my head. I haven't  really been inspired for a while. Been  to depressed to draw. *Shrug* Maybe  tomarrow I'll try. Unlike some other  people, I don't have a scanner to fix... ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Cuteness</title>
                <link>http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/2668197/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://KayosUnleashed.deviantart.com/journal/2668197/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 15 Jun 2004 16:46:12 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Woot! I figured out how to work the  journal on this. Yes, I am that slow.  Hope you like the new cute Dragonfox. I  kept me amused for the past few hours. > ^_^< Get back to work Mochi! ]]></description>
                <author>~KayosUnleashed</author>
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