http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Keaya&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Keaya en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 08 Dec 2009 20:24:47 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/24869952/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/24869952/ Thu, 21 May 2009 08:22:48 PDT But I'm suddenly very inspired in a lot of ways. It started with me just finally picking up my cello again, because I've been ignoring it since my dad had his heart attack. But I realized I need it, and so I finally came back. I think when you give inspiration an inch it takes a mile, because I have this urge to ditch school (I'm about to leave for school, dammit) and sit here and draw, then write, then play some more cello.

It will be summer soon, thank the lord. I haven't had a minute to myself in weeks, so sitting and playing was unbelievably awesome. Someone remind me to wake up early a few times every week so I can watch the sunrise, because the mornings in the summer are breathtaking, before it gets so hot. Hopefully I'll be posting some actual art here soon

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/24540042/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/24540042/ Fri, 01 May 2009 23:17:29 PDT
When you love someone and all they do is make you miserable, that's not love. In fact it may be just the opposite.

When we're unhappy, often times there's a source staring us in the face, but we will blame anything and everyone, including ourselves, before we even consider that the thing making us unhappy might need some extra examination.

You can't expect someone to know that they hurt you. If they hurt you, there's a good chance they didn't do it on purpse. Not telling them because you think they ought to know often does very little to improve the situation.



On an unrelated note, my dad is in the hospital. He's not in any immediate danger...but I would appreciate your possitive thoughts/prayers/whatever it is that may or may not help. He doesn't know it, but he would appreciate it too.

Thank you.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/23225969/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/23225969/ Sun, 15 Feb 2009 23:09:47 PST
I HAVE been drawing some. Maybe one day I'll post stuff.

Hope everyone had a happy valentines day, and that it was filled with love and good chocolate even if you're single. I learned to make vegan white chocolate, and let me tell you, that is a dumb idea. I just can't stop eating it.

Toodles.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/21690988/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/21690988/ Thu, 27 Nov 2008 00:43:35 PST Happiness.

Thank you.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/21374878/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/21374878/ Fri, 07 Nov 2008 15:33:14 PST
But in other, better news, I am in love:

[link]

LOVE.

I have a ton of catching up to do, so I wont be on here much.

But who at Legacy is doing the musical?? Tell me if you are, I haven't decided yet =/

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/21324996/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/21324996/ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 19:15:53 PST
]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/21024789/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/21024789/ Thu, 16 Oct 2008 22:56:08 PDT
Planning process begins now.

I'll keep updating this page as I figure things out.

Question: Do you guys want me to post my chapters as they come (they won't be edited at all) or do you want me to wait til the end, revise, and then start posting every couple weeks or so?

Or, whatever. I'm going to bed now. It's late, and I'm tired.

This play will be the death of me D= I'M GOING TO BE HUNG FOR A WITCH!!!

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/20928660/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/20928660/ Fri, 10 Oct 2008 21:53:55 PDT
But more importantly, people change. Epiphanies are had. Resolutions are made. Promises are kept or broken. Attitudes, outlooks, morals, beliefs, priorities, desires, interests, necessities, enjoyments change. And with them, the person.

And I? I am a person. And I am in a situation.

And change. Change is in the air. And it is intangible and subtle and necessary and scary and yes, it is beautiful.

Oh, it is beautiful.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/20724827/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/20724827/ Sun, 28 Sep 2008 13:47:24 PDT
We saw Igor, which I really liked, but which is not for kids xD Then bowling, which was AMAZING. I had a ton of fun.

My veggie chili turned out fairly well, but for some reason the bread I made had a funny aftertaste =/ It's like the yeast didn't completely bake out, or something. I don't know.

I was up til around 4:15 or 4:30 watching movies, so I am EXHAUSTED. But I had an amazing time.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/20644859/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/20644859/ Tue, 23 Sep 2008 23:48:11 PDT
You can laugh at me. I won't be offended.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/20463420/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/20463420/ Tue, 16 Sep 2008 05:48:30 PDT

That would be...yours truly.

I think I've gotten myself in over my head.

Edit: Sorry if I've made you all go But I think I've got it mostly worked out now. Thanks for being supportive even when I post journals like this one.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/20358263/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/20358263/ Sat, 06 Sep 2008 13:23:47 PDT
Maybe it's learning that there's things that don't come naturally to you the way they once did. Maybe it's learning to accept that, to deal with it in whatever way is best, to move on.

Maybe it's learning that hope can be toxic, but it can also heal. Learning that not all endeavors come to fruition, and that's OK. It's learning to accept, and to accept people just how they are.

It's understanding that perfection is relative. It's realizing that things can't change just because you want them to.

It's been interesting. So far, it's been very interesting.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/19942956/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/19942956/ Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:41:40 PDT
As birthdays go, it wasn't horrible. Rehearsal was fun, and I got to hang out with one of my good friends for a little while.

I made vegan cupcakes and invented my own frosting/cakesoak.

I talked to my mom a little today about the fact that I'm "Sweet sixteen and never been kissed." It's not that I'm so desperate from a boyfriend, it just seems... odd to me, I suppose, that since I know I'm attractive and I know I'm a likable person, I've never liked a boy who even remotely liked me back. Perhaps it just hit me a little harder today, because I'm finally officially 16.

My mom sort of let it slip to my dad today that I wanted to move in with her, so I wasn't the one who initially told my him. He asked me about that a little while ago, and we had a short talk about it. I knew I'd feel bad about it, which was why I was going to wait another couple of days to talk about it. This wasn't the way I wanted to end my birthday.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/19049126/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/19049126/ Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:31:34 PDT But now whenever someone says the word "homo," I want to say, "Stop it. That offends me. I like gay people."

I'm not joking.

On to the real purpose of this journal:
I've been writing again (hooray!) and drawing some too. I've gotten some new ideas for what I want to draw.

And I swear I haven't been totally inactive. But there are some things that I've written and drawn that I don't feel like posting.

Just letting everyone know I'm still alive... and doing art. =]


PS my computer is being retarded and not letting me change my mood. So, I'm not really mad, but it won't let me change it. Stupid internet...

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/18970991/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/18970991/ Sat, 21 Jun 2008 17:50:19 PDT I copied this from my myspace blog. It's not much of a journal, more like a blog, but I think it's pretty important. So please read. =]


You like going out to eat, right? Sure, everyone does. And frankly, I'm sure you're a wonderful person. But chances are, if you're on my friends list, you're a teenager, and you're poor. And when you're poor (I know from experience), you pay your bill and all, and tip, but sometimes you just don't tip much.
Now I'm not accusing you, because you might already tip well or whatever. But to anyone who forgets to tip, or doesn't tip, or only tips 10%, PLEASE keep reading.

Today was my first day waiting tables. I'm a happy person in general, but there is no mood killer like seeing 2 dollars sitting on a table with a bill of 45. On the other hand, when someone left me a ten (their bill was only 20) it pretty much made my day. The difference? "Fuck you, assholes" vs "HOLY FUCK THEY TIPPED ME 50%!" Minus the explitives...maybe.

Realize this: waiters are paid between 4 and 5 dollars an hour. "But that's below minimum wage!" Hell yes it is. Why? Firstly because employers CAN'T pay more than that, and secondly because if everyone tips, the waiter makes about minimum wage.

Realize also that you are not just tipping the waiter. You are also tipping the cook, the busboys, and whoever made your drink. So your waiter forgot your straws--but was the food excellent? Then tip 20%.

Lastly, realize that by tipping well, you are making the environment better for everyone. When you tip poorly, you put your waiter in a worse mood; that person then feels like being a complete asshole to you, and that tends to roll over to the other staff and patrons around them.

So please, tip. It's only a couple extra bucks, and if you can't afford that you probably shouldn't be out to eat. It doesn't matter if you're at Denny's or some high-falutin-fancy-restaurant. Tip.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/18935734/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/18935734/ Thu, 19 Jun 2008 18:22:30 PDT Damnit.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/18891619/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/18891619/ Tue, 17 Jun 2008 11:50:30 PDT 1. Copy this whole list into your journal (including the instructions, so that other people can understand what it is about).
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold are false

001. I like laser pointers
002. I don't drink water
003. I believe in world peace
004. I sleep with a plushie
005. I'm ambidextrous
006. People accept me how I am
007. I'm addicted to anime/manga
008. I speak 1337 better than english
009. I'm daltonic
010. I don't like mirrors
011. I play card games
012. Puppy eyes melt my heart
013. I have a job
014. I love chocolate [but I've learned to live without it]
015. I can type faster than I speak
016. My heart is easier to break than my bones
017. I collect things
018. I don't trust people
019. I have a lucky number
020. I'm afraid of knives
021. I start too many projects and never finish them
022. I have more than one pet
023. I can't see anything without my glasses/contacts on
024. I play chess
025. I have lied to protect other people
026. I am vegetarian [vegan, actually]
027. I know the future
028. I prefer books than movies
029. I love to draw
030. I don't have brothers
031. My handwriting is unreadable
032. I believe in extraterrestrial life
033. I don't use Google
034. I can't live without my cellphone
035. I always wear a cap
036. I have more diskettes than books
037. I've never seen a snow day
038. I'm not religious
039. I can understand graffiti tags
040. I'm not afraid of death
041. I go to the bathroom more than 7 times a day [D=]
042. I believe the government is into a conspiracy
043. I love videogames
044. I'm an activist for the defense of nature
045. I'm a moody person
046. I always carry a weapon with myself
047. I prefer cold than hot
048. I look for known shapes in the clouds
049. My Internet connection sucks
050. I rarely go to the cinema
051. I'm old
052. I have insomnia
053. I have tattoos
054. I don't know what people expect from me
055. I'm unbeatable in domino
056. I don't like IMs
057. Horror movies scare me
058. I used to eat non-toxic glue
059. I feel rather than think
060. I use Firefox and always tell everyone else to use it [I encourage...not tell...]
061. I have hope
062. I have a car
063. I remember what I dream
064. I don't need to use Liquid Paper/ Corrector Pen
065. I'm patriotic
066. I worship the devil
067. I hate Windows
068. I like solving crossword puzzles
069. I have a social life
070. I always read the newspaper
071. I checked the box to avoid seeing mature content in dA
072. My I.Q. is above 160 [Haha I wish!]
073. I like mexican food
074. I don't give a good impression
075. I get bored easily
076. I'm passing through a period of changes
077. I hate taking a bath
078. I can't go out without makeup
079. I don't know what RAM is
080. I like to talk about politics
081. I have a third eye
082. I'm uninteresting
083. I have a Blog
084. I have to take pills
085. I have lots of CDs
086. I always have a dictionary at hand
087. I'm tired of this quiz
088. I care about copyright protection
089. My computer is older than me
090. I have a boyfriend/girlfriend
091. I see dead people
092. I drink tea
093. I have a good memory
094. I've never been to a concert
095. I enter my house through the window [when needed]
096. When I was a child, I wanted to be an astronaut
097. I don't watch TV
098. I'm irresistible
099. I have invisible friends
100. I love deviantART

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/18786226/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/18786226/ Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:35:27 PDT
But you know, I guess when something's been the way it is for 7 years, the idea of it no longer being the same is just hard to deal with.

What's weird is that what I'm referring to has absolutely NOTHING to do with me. But I can guarantee it will effect me. How weird is that?

I'm not upset, exactly. Just nervous and kinda scared when I really shouldn't be. Chances are you have no idea what I'm talking about, but maybe you can relate.

This is so weird.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/17981707/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/17981707/ Tue, 22 Apr 2008 18:54:46 PDT What do you think? Rhythm good or rhythm bad??

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/17887228/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/17887228/ Wed, 16 Apr 2008 19:57:03 PDT
So Mrs. Stacks told me I'd be fine even though I feel like I failed the scales and sight reading =/ But I'm glad I got in. I waved goodbye to my lunch-hour. xD But next year will be great. I'm sure of it.

Life is in an overall state of goodness right now, but I cannot WAIT for summer.

I'm liking the play we're doing a lot, it's quite fun. I got my friend Jackie to join, but I feel like she joined for the wrong reasons, and I'm not sure if she's really enjoying herself or not. The problem is, I don't think she'd tell me if she didn't like it. =-/ Ughh.

I finally wrote a little bit the other day. Drawing, though, has been on the backburner for a while. Once I have more time, I promise I will upload something. But for now, I'm just too busy.

I hate homework, but I should go finish it. Talk to you guys later =]

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/17172532/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/17172532/ Mon, 03 Mar 2008 21:46:56 PST I seriously love it when my characters inform me I'm wrong. THey say, "No Molly. you're wrong!" And things get amazing. Seriously. I'm so excited to finish writing these next couple chapters, I can't even describe this to you.
No guy news for Molly!
Poems=yes
Story=absolutely
I am going to bed happy now!

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/17040999/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/17040999/ Sun, 24 Feb 2008 11:46:32 PST If there's one thing I always found ironic and funny about drama kids, it was the fact that the drama that happened never seemed to be awful--just funny, like maybe it should be.
I no longer think that.
My eyes have been opened, and there's a lot going through my mind right now. Gossip makes me sick to my stomach, and so there is no way I'm gonna repost anything that I heard this weekend. Somehow, there's a difference between saying "So-and-so is getting on my nerves" or "so-and-so is annoying" at rehearsal, and pulling an all nighter talking about how much you hate this one girl and how that other girl hates you.
I'm sick of it. The cast party was fun, for a while, but I shouldn't have stayed. I'm also realizing just how pathetic I am about guys--and this weekend only made it all that much more obvious. You probably know how obsessive I was about Peter--and thank you GOD that was the only thing that's lasted that long. If I get like that again, and I'm afraid I will, I would like one of you to slap me hard. Thrice. And bring me to my senses.
Pshaa, as if, right?
I'm exhausted, I think I might go read until my mom gets home.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/17022569/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/17022569/ Sat, 23 Feb 2008 09:23:06 PST I woke up at like seven with my arm raised like 4 inches above the bed, my fingers making an O shape around an invisible rope, my muscles tensed. I had to literally pull it back under the covers and move my fingers with my other hand before feeling came back. It was literally asleep--not tingly asleep. Just asleep.
It was so weird.
Despite this, I will almost certainly do either the musical or tech crew for the musical again next year.
Wow.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/16906122/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/16906122/ Fri, 15 Feb 2008 21:39:48 PST I have a nearly-finished valentines day thing that didn't get finished because, well, time is lacking these days. It will be up soon, I promise, I hope.
Titanic is wonderful, but I will be happy when it's over. If I don't die with the third class, that is.... I'll be sad, but I think I'll be happy too.
I won't be on this next week or so. Well, maybe for two minutes at a time to reply to stuff, but I won't have time to comment anything new probably. I know I'm so behind already, but I'll get there....
Well that's all the news I have. If you're not in the musical, you really should come see it! Thursday, Friday, and Saturday! and I will be backstage being God, which means it must be amazing, right? xD
I know I was alluding to something in my other journals, but I'm gonna let that one slide. Nothing amazing, just me being a retard, like usual. xD
The only other thing that has me thinking lately is the "cute couple" thing. Hold on a minute, WHAT?!? Can I say maybe there's a reason today was the first time I've heard about this?
EDIT: I also have to say that he does happen to be shorter than me, and most people don't consider that "cute"...but I digress.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/16698060/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/16698060/ Sat, 02 Feb 2008 21:54:47 PST District Honor Orchestra is now over, so hopefully I'll have a little more time!
The musical is....amazing and also kind of overwhelming. But not too much longer of that. I'll be sad when it ends, but happy too.
I'm writing chapter 21, which is amazingly fun and sooooo frucking difficult I can't even tell you. I love Slider, I really do, but writing in his style is....uhh....hard.
I've got a drawing I'm working on for valentines, it's pretty cute and simple =]
I have to go back to my dad's this week D: Freaking.... well I hope it's better than the last time I was over there. He drives me nuts, just a little, and he's smoking again -_-
I'm still waiting for that thing to happen, the thing which may or may not be amazing. And more and more I think it will happen, but I don't want to get my hopes up and tell everyone about it yet, especially because it might not come to pass.
Second semester is better than I thought it would be, but I miss orchestra. =[

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/16473763/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/16473763/ Sat, 19 Jan 2008 11:18:29 PST
I'm simultaneously excited and dead-nervous about second semester. On thursday, it was definitely more dread-nervous-scared than excited-yay feeling. Maybe things will be better Tuesday. I sure as heck hope so. Someone tell me fourth period lunch and Dylan getting a liscence/car and going off campus will make up for the lack of orchestra and picking-up of spanish. If that made any sense to anyone, uhh....yeah ok nevermind. Did that make any sense? I really do hope that having fourth period lunch will make things better. I really do.

It's just...I was so happy with things the way they were. I kind of hate change, in a major way. Every hour of the day was something to look forward to, and I keep telling myself that most of it will still be the same--except it won't. We're changing seats in 1/2 which means I probably won't see Mimi as often. I don't know who all has my lunch hour now. Spanish is going to kill me, and I don't have orchestra anymore. Nervous? Hell yes. Scared? Absolutely. But excited? Maybe a little, I think.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/16175037/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/16175037/ Sun, 30 Dec 2007 23:34:48 PST I hate that I can't just deal with stupid problems. Instead I just push them under the rug and forget about them until the rot and smell and ooze out. Ugh. I don't even want to think about it. There I go again.
I feel like such a worthless human being when I get like this. Sure I can draw and play cello and do math. But can I call people back? Can I be on time? Can I tell the TRUTH? Sometimes, it just doesn't feel like it.

In other news, some of this is being expressed in lyrics and minor chords on the new guitar I got for Christmas. I happen to be in love with it.

EDIT: I think I might be slightly bi-polar, because I'm much better today. These down periods happen. They're horrible, and I dunno why I get them, but they seem to come and go >.<
PS, in case you were worried, I have no intention of dropping the cello in order to play guitar xD

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/15437515/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/15437515/ Fri, 09 Nov 2007 16:51:32 PST SO MANY poems since Monday.
It's a little bit insane.
In other news, I think I officially have to give up NaNoWriMo. The last five days completely KILLED my creativity, and I dunno if I can make up that much. That, and the story I was gonna write...well...I don't like it enough to want to keep writing. I feel like a quitter, but I'd really rather be writing my other story, no matter how long it takes =-/
Anyway, I don't really want to explain what happened that made me so emo...but uhh...I'm starting to feel a bit better.
I may post some of the poems that I wrote. They're fairly depressing, but I do like some of them. Who votes yes?

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/15394206/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/15394206/ Tue, 06 Nov 2007 15:48:14 PST I'm not gonna make you listen to my ramblings.
Sorry you all had to hear me go on about Peter. I might take down the picture I drew of him.
I found myself guilty of too much hope.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/15320674/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/15320674/ Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:38:50 PDT Y'all ought to know why.
NaNoWriMo time.
Ask at the end if you really really want to read it, and I might consider it. But...probably not .
Off I go!

Current word count: 2,409
End of month goal: 50,000
Status: Slightly behind. nothing to worry about.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/14940300/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/14940300/ Sat, 06 Oct 2007 11:48:42 PDT If you're someone I talk to on AIM a lot...talk to me on Yahoo messenger if you have Yahoo or MSN. MSN messenger is compatable with Yahoo, so if you don't have a yahoo you can still talk to me through your MSN.
But my antivirus keeps telling me that something is trying to download a virus, and the only thing I can imagine doing so is AIM. It's the most prone to malware and viruses. And since I only do a couple things online (mail, myspace, deviantart, and IMing) plus homework, this is the only thing I've come up with.
So....my email is mollymaguire86@yahoo.com so email me if you have questions. That also works as my YIM, so there ya go. I may continue to sign onto AIM occasionally, but I won't be doing any file transfers, no pictures or music. If this still doesn't work, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Probably cut myspace.
For a long time I didn't have AIM or Myspace, just deviantart and yahoo mail, and I was really just fine with that. Myspace and AIM eat up my time way more than anything else do, and I may end up cutting them both eventually.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/14830369/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/14830369/ Fri, 28 Sep 2007 17:06:59 PDT And that. Was all. One sentence. For real. Separated by periods.

And on to proper grammar:
Apart from missing the drama kids like CRAZY, life is wonderful. I don't feel like going into detail. But I have nothing to complain about. Literally nothing. And if I mentioned Peter that'd feel like I WANT to complain, so I'm not even going to go into that. Friendship works. Life works. Pretending to be asian after school because I have nowhere else to go, that works too.

Well as I hope you can all see, I'm over being emo, I'm over feeling like I owe the world some obligation to be happy, and I'm also done with boys for a little while. I think.
So, aside from almost CONSTANTLY writing poetry in my head and forgetting it before I get the chance to write it down, I consider myself sane again. Mostly.

And about plot bunnies: I have this most awesome little tiny tiny plot bunny that works into my story SO perfectly. I can't even explain to anyone how beautifully it works in, and ties things together. Haha I kind of can't believe I didn't come up with it earlier. It has to do with Slider and Gatto Salina, and I may have already said something about this, but I've come up with more. And to anyone that enjoys my Slider/Keaya pictures, I'm warning you: Slider is about to gain stripes.
STRIPES!!
Hahaha I'm so silly.
Gatto Salina artwork to come soon. I have an idea for a picture that I REALLY like. I think I might just go work on it.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/14651881/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/14651881/ Sat, 15 Sep 2007 22:55:53 PDT GOD.
Someone shoot me.
I never thought I was going to be one of those girls that obsessed and made a fool of themselves in high school. Well I guess I was wrong.
Homecoming: One of my friends, Colin, asked me to go with him, and I said yes. Really, he's a nice guy, and if I wasn't so blind (to other guys, I mean) I'd probably like him just fine. But all I could think about when I was dancing with him was "I wish I was dancing with Peter" and I felt like such a jerk. I know I'm going to have to tell him I just can't be his girlfriend, but there hasn't been a chance, and I only see him at school during lunch. And I don't want to just call or text or say it online.
You know, I might not even have cared that much, but Peter's group of friends was dancing so close to ours, and I kept seeing him. I almost wish I hadn't, because I might have had a better time. As it was, I was preoccupied.
Someone, shoot me.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/14461064/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/14461064/ Sun, 02 Sep 2007 19:23:11 PDT I hate this.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/14212807/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/14212807/ Sun, 02 Sep 2007 22:09:18 PDT PS I know I've done this before, but I don't care. I stole this from 4thewhites0ul.
1. 4thwhites0ul has some cool drawings, mostly anime I think, and also some incredible photos. For example...
In the Breeze, Girl drowned, boy is sad, Three.

2. ladyjazzkiller. This woman is incredible. I absolutely love her stuff, especially the portraits she does in black/white. Definitely worth a look.
I Simply Cannot Do It Alone, Catherine Zeta Jones, Punk Cabaret is Freedom.

3. NeonLites. She has a fairly small gallery, but I would say it's worth it to take a look--not a lot there, but what is there is good. She has some really great photos and a limited number of drawings (all digital art, I believe) that are worth checking out.
Animal Hate, Separated at Birth, Enchanted Garden.

4. Koinu-Yukina. I have never looked through her gallery before, but I had a good time doing so for this. I highly recommend browsing through her gallery, there's some neat stuff.
[link]"This Kiss, Solitude of a Falling Star, Just Have Fun.

5. dmungrrl. This was a hard one. I've seen so much of her stuff and loved so much of it that it was very hard to choose. There's a lot in her gallery, so when you have time to sift through it all, take the time to check it out. She's improved a lot, so I mostly chose from her more recent stuff. I was going to be objective (not choose the things she's done as birthday gifts to me, etc) but I decided I liked the Dance with the Devil piece too much not to feature it.
The Festival of Azhra, Silent Soldier, Dance with the Devil

6. Teela-B. She's pretty much awesome. Her style is pretty cartoon-y, but she's still got some good stuff. She and number 7 are the same person, so that's why there's no description down there I recommend reading her comic, firstly because her character Edward is adorable, and secondly because you just should (even though she Never. Freaking. Updates!). Anyway... I didn't even try to be objective this time. I love her pics of my characters (particularly that one of Devil and Peril) NOT to include them....so said, picking only 3 was... ]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13987574/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13987574/ Thu, 02 Aug 2007 14:07:04 PDT run.
At least Slider has a little sense, but honestly, considering what a bastard Devil is, I dunno why he has such a hard time making Keaya see the light.
I want to write from Airemey's point of view, because there are times when she is so undeniably emo that it's almost comical. Poor thing. But her writing style is so much more interesting than Keaya's, perhaps because Keaya's style is just mine with better adjectives.
Still, I'm going to have to wait at least...5? 10? chapters before her voice needs to be heard again, and inbetween there it's mostly all romance. Which I certainly can't complain about, but honestly! If Keaya gets any more like me I think I'll have to kill her, and I'm being perfectly serious when I say that.
[PS, if you don't know what I'm talking about, that's perfectly alright]

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13906617/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13906617/ Fri, 27 Jul 2007 20:27:44 PDT brown, but it is way blonder now. And my skin is way darker. I guess "sunburn" doesn't really describe me (I do use sunscreen!) but "Tanning and sailing" just doesn't sound good! In any case, I've been winsurfing, sailing, and swimming for the last three days at the Boulder Res. My tanlines are like night and day. Well, that may be exaggerating just a little, but still. They're pretty hard to miss. And since both my swimming suit tops have the exact same neckline (they're the same but one covers my belly), there's not even any variation. Oh well, it doesn't really matter.

What I think is interesting is the way we think of our parents. This is something that I've been thinking about since my dad starting dating this woman Leigh. This would be quite normal, except that Leigh and my mom used to be friends, and I used to be really good friends with Leigh's daughter Zanne (Zon-ee, in case you cared), and my sister used to be friends with the oldest daughter Michelle and the middle kid Nicole. It's just so weird to have them suddenly back, and now I'm seeing Leigh all the time. I wouldn't even have been sailing for the last three days, but Nicole teaches at the Res and Zanne volunteers there, so my dad thought it might be fun for me to try it.
Anyhow, I've known these girls since I was about 4, and it was honestly pretty easy to fall back into something similar. Maybe not best friends but at least it wasn't ever awkward. I remember when I was maybe 11 listening to Zanne talk about her parents divorce and, later, her mother's remarriage to a guy that all three kids hated. And from Zanne's perspective, her father is the better parent really, even though he was the one that cheated and essentially broke up the marriage.
Zanne's parents and my parents were both divorcing at about the same time, and so when I think of my old friendship with her I think of that. Hearing what she said was mostly old news, most of it I already knew, but it was from a totally different perspective now. Zanne feels like she can't trust her mom any longer (divorced, remarried, divorced again, and now dating again, when Zanne still has several years left to live with her mom before she can move out). But what I heard from Nicole was that their dad is really a total asshole. Zanne didn't make it sound that way.
I'm just thinking about the ways things can be interpreted, and I'm wondering about the things I've said about my parents. Yeah, I love them, and I know I always will, but I really am growing up. And I know I've said things about them to my friends, but I realize now that perhaps I shouldn't have. I know Leigh, and I like her, but after hearing it from Zanne and Nicole's perspectives, it's hard to make my own opinion.
(by the way, there isn't really a point to this whole thing. I'm just rambling mostly).
In any case, for Zanne's sake, I think Leigh should go home (she's hanging out with my dad right now) and spend some time with her daughters, and try her hardest to keep her promises (or better yet just keep them!). But since I know that my dad is going to date, I'd really rather he date Leigh than anyone else, mostly because I really like her and I really like her kids. But because I really like her kids, I don't think she should be dating at all.
Who am I to judge, though?
She's an adult. But after hearing it from Zanne, I feel a little guilty for wanting my dad to keep dating her. It really is a selfish reason, it's not that I want my dad to be happy (I do want him to be happy, don't get me wrong!), but it's really that my dad is easier to deal with when there is another woman around. How selfish is that?

In any case, sailing and windsurfing are both really fun, and I'm getting a little better at it. I hope I get to start going more with Zanne and Nicole.

Also, I just have to say this: I never knew you could miss someone that you never actually see. By this I mean that I before Peter left for California, I talked to him about every other day on AIM. He comes back on Tuesday, which is good, because I'm really starting to miss him. I haven't even SEEN him since school got out (though I think I may see him soon...), but still. Interesting.

Sorry for the crazy long journal!

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13832292/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13832292/ Sun, 22 Jul 2007 10:58:06 PDT
I took the "Snape is Good" side of the debate the night before it came out, but I wasn't entirely sure. While reading the last book, though, I started to think I might be wrong and that perhaps Snape really was evil. Chapter 33 (the Prince's Tale) revealed so much, and while reading it I honestly didn't care if Snape (I think I may start calling him Severus) was evil or not. It didn't matter: the whole deal with Lily made me pity him too much.
It felt like, even if he is evil, I'm still going to love him. But I thought that before thinking it through, and then I read the rest of the chapter. You never would of guessed that that's why Dumbledore trusts him.... Well, maybe Snapesnogger figured this out, but I obviously didn't. That chapter was so perfect, it made the whole rest of the book (which I have to say was a little clunky, not quite as good as the sixth or the third) completely worthwhile. It redeemed the rest of it. Yes, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was a good book, but it was a good book mostly because of how spectacular the ending is, and (as you might guess I would say) the ending is so spectacular for the most part because of what we learn in chapter 33.
Snape, though you may be gone, you will be held in the highest respect. We love you.

*Snape fanart coming up soon...*

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13674242/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13674242/ Mon, 09 Jul 2007 17:14:38 PDT and I know I said that both rock and indie are my favorite types of music.

GRYFFINDOR:
[x] You've never done drugs.
[x] You have a lot of friends.
[] You get along with everyone.
[] You love soccer.
[] You love baseball.
[x] You're into writing and art
[x] Favorite music genre is rock.
[x] You believe in "innocent until proven guilty" theory.
[] One of your favorite colors is red or gold.
[x] You have good grades at school.
[] One of the worst things you are at is lying
[x] You plan on going to college.

TOTAL: 7


Hufflepuff
[x] You're content with mostly everything in your life right now.
[x] You laugh a lot.
[] Politics suck.
[x] You love to swim
[x] Water "marco polo" is awesome.
[] Pink is one of your favorite colors.
[] Black is morbid & depressing.
[lol] Michael Jackson is talented as a musical artist.
[x] You're an optimist.
[x] You're very emotional.
[] You believe in going steady at a young age.
[] You haven't made fun of anyone this month.
[x] Loyalty is the MOST important thing in a relationship.

TOTAL: 8


RAVENCLAW:
[] You're depressed to a certain extent.
[x] You love to read.
[x] You appreciate theatre & arts.
[x] Sports suck.
[] Hate is completely unneeded.
[x] Indie is your favorite genre of music.
[x] Every once in a while you have little anger outbursts.
[x] Lying is sometimes okay.
[x] Blue is one of your favorite colors.
[x] Knowledge is the key to power
[x] Sarcasm is the best kind of humor
[x] People should know what they're talking about before they talk.
TOTAL: 10


SLYTHERIN:
[x] There's at least one person you hate/dislike
[] Basketball is a good sport.
[] Football is amazing.
[x] Black is a cool color.
[] You've lied about something serious
[x] You're a very deep person.
[] You have considered suicide.
[] You are not very loyal.
[x] You like heavy metal.
[x] They make school seem more important than it is.
[] You're scared to grow up.
[] Anger is one of your primary feelings.
[] You have trust issues.
[sometimes] Guilty until proven innocent.
total: 4 1/2

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13585737/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13585737/ Mon, 02 Jul 2007 23:21:05 PDT
1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace--[link]
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation ]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13475027/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13475027/ Sun, 24 Jun 2007 17:31:16 PDT I also decided that I CAN'T decide whether this whole stupid ordeal has become so second nature that I'm just not noticing it anymore...Or if it really is starting to fade.
So.
The third thing I've decided is that dreams confuse me, especially when the main part of the dream is a symbol looking something like this: [=]
The fourth thing I've decided is that they confuse me even MORE when they 1. Show me the thing I'm DYING to see, or 2. I get an invitation to someone's DEATH in them. Not funeral. Death. Dear god. Why must I dream so much during the summer??? I swear, I've remembered about 4 dreams this week!!! Sheesh!!! Considering I hardly ever remember dreams....
The fifth thing I've decided is that I do indeed love my parents...however, they are occasionally retarded.
6th thing...I have waaaaaayyy too many messages on dA (405, currently. Geez people, leemee alone!! Lol don't really. I you all.).
Seventh and final thing I've decided....I love Harry Potter. Really, I do. I mean, it's gotten a lot of bad talk, and Harry really is a retard, but the first book is just so funny. And, I also can't WAIT for the seventh one I sound like a little obsessed retard, but I don't care.
...Anyhow. Thanks for listening to my rambling, even if a lot of that made NO sense WHATSOEVER.

EDIT: I've also decided that all my old poetry is depressing....depressingly so.


And BTW....about my Mood...I'm exited and I have NO idea why.....Ah haha....Don't ask.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13219807/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13219807/ Mon, 04 Jun 2007 19:20:44 PDT
1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4 :
..."cement that was the Bronx of Second Earth. In its place was a..."

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
Mmmm....a bowl of sherbet!

3.What was the last thing you watched on TV?
I don't even remember. Honestly.

4.Without looking, guess what time it is:
8: 10

5.Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
DEAD ON!!!! BOOYAH!!!!

6.With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Ummm....nothing. Seriously.

7. When did you last step outside ? What were you doing ?
Probably getting out of the car today when I got home from school.

8.Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My IM convo with Peter

9.What are you wearing?
Pajamas


10. Did you dream last night ?
Just dread.

11.When did you last laugh?
Talking to Peter

12.What are the walls in the room you are in?
Who knows? Cheap plaster stuff??

13.Seen anything weird lately?
Oh yeah. Oh dear god.

14.What do you think of this quiz?
Definitely better than anything else I could be doing...

15.What is the last film you saw?
Pirates 3!!

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Err.... chocolate.

17.Tell me something about you I don’t know.
Ok, Mags was right. I was secretly hoping that LizXSparrow would happen for real but...*sigh*

18.If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would it be?
Change for the people living opressed in asia and india.

19.Do you like to dance ?
YES!!!!

20.George Bush:
.......IT'S ALMOST 2008!!!!! REJOICE!!!!

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what would you call her?
Alexandra, probably.

22.Imagine your first child is a boy, what would you call him?
Alexander, probably. No I'm not going to have two kids with that name. I just want to give it to the first one, no matter the gender

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Def!!

24.What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
HA!! You were WRONG!!! There IS a heaven!!!!
Actually I think I'd probably die...again...if he did that.

25.Tag six people who must also do this in their journal :
I refuse.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13130724/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/13130724/ Mon, 28 May 2007 20:32:24 PDT
I've made the connection, I think: I haven't felt like doing anything really creative since I started obsessing over a boy in my math class, except of course that I wrote several poems about him and drew a pic of him.
I'm not saying that I'm over him, but I think I'm beginning to feel creative again. Just a little, just a little tiny tiny bit, I'm feeling like myself again I think.
That doesn't mean I don't smile when I realize he's signed on or whatever....or look forward to 6th period even though there's more I could be concentrating on.
But there's something I want to say: There's another boy. I don't obsess over him. And oh, God, oh my god, I don't know what to think about him. I honestly canNOT figure out how much is teasing and how much is seriousness hidden behind the fear of rejection and is therefore disguised as teasing. I hope that made sense.
I'm feeling simultaneously that I'm too young to be concentrating on this, and then I think well why not think about it?
And I know I could be doing other things.
I'm just not.
Oh, god. There's things that I could say but I won't, not here. But there's so many things that I don't know what to think about them.
If you don't know how to give me feedback on this, don't worry. I don't know how to either.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/12856888/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/12856888/ Sat, 05 May 2007 20:52:53 PDT For this feeling of restlessness to go away and never settle upon me again
Reaching for the stars and settling for the clouds,
But right now I think the clouds are nicer than stars anyhow.
They are indeed more fluffy.
Because maybe what I want right now is comfort not glamor,
not that I had any glamor anyhow.
But I feel like I'm reaching for something and no matter how hard I try
I just can't get what it is or even know what is is that I'm reaching for.
And this is not to say that I am unhappy,
I don't know if I've ever been this blissfully uncreative,
unimaginative,
but--
Still, I guess what really matters is how I feel, and even that changes from day to day
Or even really hour to hour, and I can't quite put my finger on what it is that I want.
I can point to an idea, or an event, or an object, and I can tell you I want it but--
I know it's not, and if that thing does make me happy it's something that has to do with that thing but I know it's not really that thing at all.
And then I'm back to reaching, reaching, reaching, for the what it is that I really desire.

EDIT: I did not mean to write a poem, and as you can tell, as soon as I was done writing this, I actually DID go do some art.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/12771857/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/12771857/ Sat, 28 Apr 2007 21:38:39 PDT Sorry everyone. I feel incredibly distracted at the moment, and honestly it's a stupid reason why so I'm not going to talk about it.
Hope no one minds.
I'll tell you when I'm feeling more....inspired? Creative? Artistic? Actually, you'll probably just know.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/12623555/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/12623555/ Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:47:34 PDT 1. Keayamatt
2. Slider
3. Airemey
4. Aeoh
5. Chatkanala
6. Eraia
7. Siarian
8. Emily Ellison
9. Seana Angellis
10. Claire
11. Julian
12. Devil

01. Who would make a better college professor, 6 or 11?
....depends on the college. As Julian has just graduated college, he might not be quite prepared enough. However, he does live in this world, whereas the only thing Eraia might be able to teach it how to be queen...

02. Do you think 2 is hot? How hot?
Hmmmm considering we are different species...I think I am being fair when I say moderately.

03. 12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?
Erm...Devil sends Emily to break into something. Emily decides she's seen enough strange fantasy things for one day and goes to make her her best friend of a vampire hasn't killed anything yet. In other words, it fails.

04. What is or would be 9's favorite book?
Hmmm good question. Probably something like the Sisterhood of the Traveling pants. But she probably liked vampire stories before she became one, so Twilight perhaps.

05. Would it make more sense for 2 to swear fealty to 6, or the other way around?
Erm...I suppose Slider to Eraia would make more sense...

06. For some reason, 5 is looking for a roommate. Should s/he share a studio apartment with 9 or with 10?
Ack! Ack! Ack!! NO!!! Poor Chatka. I suppose she'd rather share it with a vampire who has control of herself. Sharing a room with a boy, no matter how platonic their relationship, would not be good for her image.

07. 2, 7 and 12 have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?
For Siaran I hope they go to fast food and they get something like chicken, because Devil and Slider will be at each others throats the entire time.

08. 3 challenges 10 to a duel. What happens?
Airemey and Claire? Depends on when. Early Claire--Airemey would win, if she wanted to. Late Claire--probably a pretty even match, except that Airemey would probably not want to hurt Claire anyway, so Claire would win.

09. If 1 stole 8's most precious possession, how would s/he get it back?
She wouldn't. Unless it was her little brother--and I dunno WHY Keaya would steal poor Alex, but if she did, Emily would probably, like, shoot at her or something until she got Alex back.

10. Suggest a title for a story in which 7 and 12 both attain what they most desire.
In the same story? Yeesh. Ummmmmmmmm...In Which all the Humans are Killed (Except Eraia and Siarian, who are allowed to live Happy Ever After.)

11. What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 and 1 to work together?
I would...do what I already do....and make a war start.

12. If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?
I think we'd get along just fine...

13. If you could command 3 to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?
I spose I would tell Airemey to...ummm....go get me some chocolate.

14. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11?
Nah. I bet I'm the only one besides who really knows who Julian is anyhow. Considering I've never written anything about him, and there's only one picture with him in it (I think.)

15. If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, which would it be?
Slider would choose Aeoh. he doesn't even live in the same STORY as Chatka. Haha.

16. What might 10 shout while charging into battle?
"YOU DIRTY SCOUNDRELS GIVE HIM BACK!!!" or something. Hahaha yeah.

17. If you chose a song to represent 8, which song would you choose?
Something depressing I bet.

18. 1, 6, and 12 are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?
Ahh! Ack!!! Errr It really depends on what's going on between Devil and Keaya at the time, I spose....Early Keaya: Devil might get it, but then again Keaya would be the youngest and might rip it out of Devil's hands. Late Keaya: Keaya would get it.

19. What might be a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10?
Why on earth would Slider be interested in Claire, or vice versa?

20. What would 5 most likely be arrested for?
Probably attempted murder or some such stupid set up. I'm not sure, actually.

21. What is 6's secret?
She is a lesbian.

22. If 11 and 9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
Seana. She's a vampire.

23. If you h... ]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/12580564/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/12580564/ Fri, 13 Apr 2007 12:57:25 PDT Oh well.
Well, I'll celebrate posting my first journal, which was on the 21st of April.

The only news I have is that of crushes. I shan't post that until it becomes actual news, if it ever does.

Oh, and if I don't reply to messages, it is because I have nearly 300.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/12314212/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/12314212/ Sat, 24 Mar 2007 19:22:51 PDT Art: Colored version of "Whisper" almost finished. Just the hair and stuff left, which I have been working on occasionally.... Other, random things.
Writing: For people who know me, I'm about half-way done with chapter 16. When I'm finished it'll be where it usually is....

In other news, it is now spring break!!! Yay!!! And I have pneumonia so I can't snowboard Ah well. I'll just have to go rock-climbing instead.

Hope none of you get the flu, or pneumonia!! I know it's 8:20, but I think I'm going to bed! Night!

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11846995/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11846995/ Fri, 16 Feb 2007 19:36:18 PST I've had time to draw the last couple days because a miracle occured and I had hardly any homework. Not sure how long that's going to last.

For those of you that remember..... in an old journal ([link]) I talked about a friend named Lucy that is at my highschool. (That's not her real name, BTW. It's just a name that I'm calling her by on here.)
and have met this girl before. She was at my birthday party. I just can't believe that I keep holding on to her. I can't believe I'm so stupid. Even as I write this, I know that on Monday when they pick me up I will want to talk with her and even maybe want to sit by her in class, but I won't get my hopes up. Instead maybe I'll sit by Amanda and stand by as Brittany demands her attention, and I will say to Amanda, "I don't know why I bother" and Amanda will say "I don't know why you do either."
Then if a moment comes I may talk to Lucy about some trivial thing; how hot Jacob Southard is or why she is still going out with Travis...the only things that we ever talk about anymore. Maybe, actually, if I don't feel like being too crushed that day, I might even ask her what she is doing Friday, only of course expecting that she already has plans with Brittany or Travis or Valerie or Michelle or Charise, or any number of other people who may not forgive her quite as easily.
It never mattered how many times she ditched ME. She knows I'll get over it. It never mattered how many times she didn't save that seat for ME. Of course I will forgive her. I'l forgive her and still want to be her friend, and I honestly don't know why anymore. How many times has she told me about how annoying Valerie is? How many times has she told me that she doesn't really like Brittany? And how many times has she chosen them over me?
And to say all of this, I have to assume that she really does like me--a thing I am entirely unsure about nowadays. Does she talk to them about how annoying I am, too? Or am I such a taboo subject that she wouldn't even bring it up?
You know the poem I wrote about a girl named Elizabeth? That's Lucy. That's the girl that was my best friend two years ago, my great friend last year, my 'LezLuv' with text messaging this summer, and my carpool this year. We used to have so much fun together....

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11759818/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11759818/ Sat, 10 Feb 2007 12:06:08 PST Second semester of highschool means Molly no longer has a lunch. That means Molly has a lot more homework. Going on dA and seeing the updates here are the least of my worries.
I have two large things due in L2K on Tuesday, an essay due in lit on wednesday, plus Spanish, Math, history, and biology homework. This weekend.
See what I mean?
I am never doing this (full schedule) again.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11666074/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11666074/ Sat, 03 Feb 2007 00:16:22 PST
In other news, dmungrrl, EdanLeFay and I are going to be writing a story centered around the characters in "Follow me to Hell" and another, who was not in the pic. I'm exited. Also, Nevermind about the 100 themes. I thought I'd be getting back to that. Well, I doubt it. Maybe. But I doubt it.

I dunno if you remember, but I had a poem up earlier called "Dear Brianna", which I took down. I found a picture of the two of us from three or four years ago. Before everything just sort of....fell apart. It was from a birthday party, and we were both just smiling and happy. Neither of us had any makeup on and we hadn't done anything to our hair really. It was great. Am I really supposed to be more grown up now? It almost feels like I'm going backwards. Pokemon, Brianna.... Hmmm.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11651473/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11651473/ Thu, 01 Feb 2007 18:21:28 PST [link]
WTF?!?

Check this out: [link]
It's amazing.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11511395/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11511395/ Sat, 20 Jan 2007 22:16:58 PST I may not be submitting anything for a bit, but when I do I'll be getting back to my 100 themes project. The reason? I've been writing a lot more, and since that's not something I'm comfortable posting here, I just won't be posting anything but doodles.
So I guess this journal was mostly useless. Amazing that it's already 2007 isn't it? I found a CD from 97 the other day and was shocked that that means it's TEN YEARS OLD. That means I listened to it when I was FIVE. Does 97 feel that long ago to any of you? Sheesh. It was a CD that my brother and sister liked and, much to my surprise, I still remember many of the lyrics from 9-10 years ago. Weird huh? And it's already halfway though the schoolyear. When did this happen? At least finals were easy.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11343771/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11343771/ Sat, 06 Jan 2007 23:08:14 PST Magda Regli, be prepared to have LOTS of messages to check
Well that was fun. G'night all!!

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11250020/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11250020/ Mon, 08 Jan 2007 17:36:03 PST
FIRST TEN PEOPLE to comment get featured, and I will go through your gallery and choose three of your deviations I like the most and post them in my journal for everyone to see! It's pretty much to show you off. Who doesn't want that? There is a snag to this, you MUST
also do this in your journal!
Just give it a shot!!
Keep in mind that these are simply my opinions--if there is one that you really like of yours that I didn't pick, please don't freak out about it. I probably had a hard enough time deciding anyhow!
PS I tried not to be too subjective--for example, if someone has art done of my characters, I did not pick it simply because of that.

1. NeonLites
--A. [link] In the White Room
--B. [link] Separated At Birth?
--C. [link] Le Hobo

2. Teela-B
--A. [link] Crystal Violet Noir Redone
--B. [link] Frey and Gerda Dancing
--C. [link] Johnny on the Monorail v.2

3. Dmungrrl
--A. [link] Once Upon a Time
--B. [link] Silent Soldier
--C. [link] Desdemona

4. EdanLeFay
--A. [link] Prolouge-Demon
--B. [link] Needs A Title
--C. [link] First of the Blades Chapter 1

5. Ladyjazzkiller
--A. [link] Jazz Babe
--B. [link] Loreena McKennitt
--C. [link] Cell Block Tango

6. Waterwish
--A. [link] .:Watching Over the Sea:.
--B. [link] Sleiha
--C. [link] .:Broken Zen:.

7. Civet89
--A. [link] Lunar Landscape
--B. http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11249951/ Sat, 30 Dec 2006 20:21:03 PST NEW MOON, THE SEQUEL TO TWILIGHT, IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok. I'm done with that now. Spoilers follow!! Now, to those who have ALREADY READ BOTH:
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH BELLA AT THE BEGINNING, MIDDLE, AND END? AND JACOB AT THE MIDDLE AND THE END? AND EDWARD AT THE BEGINNING??? AND CHARLIE AT THE END??? IS THERE A SINGLE CHARACTER WHO DOESN'T MAJORLY SKREW UP THROUGHOUT THE COURSE OF THE BOOK?!?!?!?! AUGH!!! Well, I guess Alice does pretty well. And Rosalie deserves a second chance, and you can't really blame Jasper for....the beginning. Hehe...Edward. HE did good at the end, you know, with that whole "I will if you marry me" thing. Bella's response...well, I've got to say, I'm not sure why she wants to become a vampire if she won't even marry him....geez.

WHY IS OCTOBER SO FAR AWAY????
At least it had a decent ending. Hopeful, I suppose. And Edward is back. YAY!!
New Moon rant over.

And EdanLeFay, you are such a liar. But that's ok, I can usually tell. And of course she'll become one in book three!! I have theories for how it works too!!

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11210125/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11210125/ Wed, 27 Dec 2006 10:46:42 PST First I am going to MURDER EdanLeFay for giving me Twilight, because it is HIS fault I stayed up till 4:30 last night reading it......
And Secondly my Laptop came, and I'm not sure how much I owe mis parentals now. Oh well, we'll work it out. The real news item here is that I'll probably be submitting a lot more stuff now that I can do tablet stuff all week instead of just while I'm at my dad's.
It's so prettttttty...... *pets*
Again, Mags, Stew, I WILL MURDER YOU BOTH. Well, I guess Mags is more or less innocent, but she did do some less-than-subtle encouragement for me to read it....

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11194536/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11194536/ Mon, 25 Dec 2006 21:43:45 PST
Sorry for the pointless journal. Hope y'all had an AMAZING christmas, I loved seeing my sister more than anything, but presents were nice. A little different this year but it was nice.

The new iPod series is preeeeeetty. Just thought I'd let you guys know. Cheesecake is yummy.
Gnight. Have a good, um, boxing day.
And a happy new year.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11166283/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11166283/ Sat, 23 Dec 2006 19:34:16 PST we will be closed tomorrow at six and closed all day the 25th due to the nondenominational winter holiday."
-sign at car-repair shop

Well at least someone knows how to use this 'political correct' idiocy correctly. My mom and I both laughed out the door when we saw that while leaving. It was seriously hillarious. But other than that, WTF? Who cares if some atheist (sorry, to my friends who are atheists. I don't mean this as an insult) got mad at WalMart for saying "Merry Christmas" rather than "Happy Holidays"? Good god what has the US come to?
During October, I swear, the windows at my school were painted with, not "Happy Halloween" but "Happy Fall" How lame is that? Just because a family who doesn't celebrate it could sue and make a fuss about racism or something. No better for poor Christmas and Hannuka (sorry, mispelling). I'm not on Christmas Vacation. Aparently that ended after elementary school, when no one cared as much; now, I'm sick during 'Winter Break.'
Geez.
Maybe I'm grumpy cause I have Strep. Whatever. I just think it's all fairly dumb is all.

]]> ~Keaya http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11121007/ http://Keaya.deviantart.com/journal/11121007/ Tue, 19 Dec 2006 20:31:18 PST
Yeah, the Hot Chocolate thing was just to take up space in the title.

This is just a minor update thing. I'm working on another pic, coloring 'Pushing Back.' I'll also be finishing (soon!! I promise Magda!) the 'Dreaming of YOu' picture I started forever ago and 'Bianca' for that contest. So, everyone, Merry Christmas/Holidays/Break. Whatever.

Anyone feel like doing a drawing-exchange? Teela-B tried to do one but I was the only one who responded, so....if people (including Teela) would like to do that, we can set it up, and that would be dandy!

You know, dandy is a cool word.

Ok, I'm out. Night peeps. I'ma go watch homestarrunner.com!!

EDIT: Panic! At the DIsco is awesome!! Except for the two most over-played songs, "The only difference between martyrdom and suicide..." and "I write sins not tragedies". The rest are AmAzInG!!!!

]]> ~Keaya