Rightie-ooooo~

Now, I try not to do this, but as of this moment in time I don't really care anymore, so here, have a lovely little emo journal post.

It'll let you know that your life could be a fucking lot worse.

Let's get started.

I have spent the last three days trying to get my hands on a game I have wanted for months - downloading, downloading again, going on Windows and generally putting up with a lot of fucking bullshit. Now, that isn't gonna work for me, so that's just the fucking seasoning of the soup of my wonderfully awesome crap-fucking-tastic life.

Dad. Always about that fucking narcissistic, selfish sonofabitch. I hate him. I mean this, quite seriously, I. HATE. HIM. I am so fucking sick and fucking tired of his crap. You think your life is pathetic - you try having a fuckwit of a father who constantly degrades you and acts like you're main reason for being alive is to make him happy. Now, you wanna know how long I believed that?

THIRTEEN. FUCKING. YEARS. I can remember being five and running around for a fucking week before he came home because, oh, my, he mentioned to mum I was looking a little round around the edges.

OBVIOUSLY THAT'S NOT ME BEING FIVE. Ugh, and now the bastard SITS THERE and fucking LIES TO US, and refuses to sign any fucking papers that we need him to to FUCKING MOVE ON WITH LIFE, AND I'M SORRY, JEY, AND CRUNCHIE AND EVERYONE ELSE, BUT I AM NOT GOING TO BE IN DEBT TO HIM.

So, yes, I'm going to tell him I hate him, I don't want to have jackshit to do with him, and he can FUCK. HIM. SELF. I guess I won't be seeing anyone in December.

But, you know what? I don't care. I don't care anymore! MY MOTHER HAS CRIED close to FOUR INDIVIDUAL TIMES SINCE HE CAME HOME AND WE'VE ONLY SEEN HIM TWICE.

I WILL NOT STAND BY AND LET HIM DO THIS TO HER. THAT WOMAN SINGLE HANDEDLY RAISED ME, WHILE BATTLING DEPRESSION AND FUCKING STRESS AND VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE FROM THAT MAN AND GODDAMNIT I AM FUCKING PROTECTIVE OF HER BECAUSE SHE DESERVES BETTER.

But no, she's stuck in this HOLE because my father won't do anything. And by fucking GOD I have HAD. IT.

NO LONGER WILL I SIT HERE AND WATCH HIM BULLY MY FAMILY.

HE KICKED MY DOG LAST TIME HE WAS HERE FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

KICKED MY DOG. WHO WAS DOING NOTHING WRONG. HE'S ONLY A PUPPY FOR FUCK'S SAKE - HE JUST GOT STITCHES TAKEN OUT FROM HIS BELLY.

So, apart from dad, life's just fucking fantastic.

So fantastic I'ma go cry myself a river and then buck up and hold my fucking head high because if I don't, then who will?

_{if i offended anyone i truly am sorry i'm just very stressed right now. i'm sort of maybe crying.}