http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:KissWithoutLips&section=today deviantART RSS for by:KissWithoutLips en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 08 Dec 2009 08:33:54 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10937368/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10937368/ Sun, 03 Dec 2006 13:54:13 PST
~~~~~~
List twenty odd facts about yourself, then tag a friend or two to do the same.

1. I dance on a rocking chair to destress myself
2. I can't stop wanting to get away from wherever I am
3. I have a fear of most things starting in D
4. I have dated 64 people
5. Two is my favorite number because it is the only even prime number
6. I've changed dramatically in the last two months
7. I write a poem every single day, minus one or two days
8. If I think about my old friends, I talk in a french accent
9. I'd call Sam before the ambulance
10. My hands steam during the winter
11. My hands get clammy when I'm in love
12. I need to find my own style
13. I have a collection of ties (87 so far)
14. I have a scarf collection
15. I get paranoid about work, so i tend to quit to avoid getting fired
16. I usually quit my jobs in November and March
17. I love giving creative gifts
18. I like writing letters in regular post rather than e-mail
19. I'm very very very emotional on my own
20. My hands always smell a certain way after I've had a good night out with a guy...

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10937268/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10937268/ Sun, 03 Dec 2006 13:44:21 PST
I feel like everything I lived for, I gave up when I broke up with Adam, he wouldn't take me back, which I'm happy he didn't... I'm over him romantically now, however, ever since Romi came into my life, Adam has gotten more and more emotionaslly abusive towards me... he's lashing out and insuting me and overreacting about everuthing.. I feel bad for even meeting Romi in te first place because it's driving me and Adam apart...

However, ever sinc eI met Romi, I feel a great need to be abetter person, I'm more confident about who I am and I feel happier, more often... Whenever he's around, I can't help but be happy about life... like... I could never hurt mayelf again... like I was... He treats me with respect, he doesn't hurt me and if he does he appologizes. He refuses to make me walk home by myself, and he doesn't drain my wallet. I want to be a better person...

However, this morning I felt like I never deserved to meet Romi, that everything in me didn't exist, that if he knew me fir what i've done in the past, he'd never want to be near me again. I'm not good enough to be around him, even as a friend.. I'm not good enough to date the Bishop's son... He's too sweet, he has too much of a future, he's too spiritual... There's no way I could ever be good enough....

thats how i feel, thank you

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10708107/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10708107/ Mon, 13 Nov 2006 04:22:57 PST
oh well....


]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10546150/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10546150/ Sun, 29 Oct 2006 08:24:37 PST


]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10510084/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10510084/ Wed, 25 Oct 2006 18:40:14 PDT
I met a girl today, not a girl to date but a friend named... becky... and she told me how she met the one she knows she's going to marry.. but not for a while... I'm jelouse...

well... I'm not allowed to go to sudbury, turns out I'm too old to go to the activity, so I can't get a ride with Jarom and his parents...

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10479684/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10479684/ Sun, 22 Oct 2006 18:48:29 PDT


]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10431676/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10431676/ Wed, 18 Oct 2006 07:46:00 PDT anyway around it?

hmmm...



]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10382781/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10382781/ Fri, 13 Oct 2006 17:41:58 PDT
I was thinking... I still love him and I want to be with him and take him back and make him mine... but I should let him date someone else... if he wants to... I mean... I did leave him... am I lying to him?



]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10382755/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10382755/ Fri, 13 Oct 2006 17:38:48 PDT that's good I think...

It snowed last night

The night before, I spent at Apple's

I'm hungry

Drugs make you constipated... can I say that on here? I hope I can... i mean, it's not REALLY a dirty word is it?



]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10356171/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10356171/ Wed, 11 Oct 2006 08:27:39 PDT
I think I'm gonna call Sweet soon... I just got back from the hospital... and my stomach and shoulders really hurt from my surgery... ouch! I am now one organ short from a full body... *sigh* bye gall bladder...

I called my mom this morning to tell her I got it done... and she was shocked that i did... I didn't tell her until after because I knew shed tell me bad stories about operations she's had and stuff... so i called her after

I called my grandma and she was s hocked too... but she was really happy for me and told my aunt and uncle and stuff... I can only eat light solids and clear fluids... no milk for a while... or cheese... at least not until my pain killers are gone...

I can't' work for two weeks... my boss'll be so pissed...

did you know that I pee up to 950mL at a time? at least, I did last night... I always pee between 250 and 950.. I was aiming to fill the whole 1000 but that didn't happen....

I need to cough but i can't because my abdomen hurts when I do... so I'm drinking water to get the itchynes to go away...

I wasn't supposed to stay over night but I did because there were complications during the procedure...

A girl in t he same room as me got a bladder lift done and was supposed to stay two nights but she left that day before dinner... before me who wasn't even suposed to stay...

There was this really cute old lady in the same room as well... she got knee surgery... and was in a lot of pain... I had to help her by pushing the call button on my bed to get a nurse for her because she couldn't do it herself... they eventually got the drug amount right and she managed to calm down and go to sleep.... her grandson's girlfriend came in when she was asleep and was waving at her, and asked me if she fell asleep.. and i said about half an hour ago... and she left cause she had a patient to go see befor eher shift was over...

I'm hurting... hehehe... I'm happy... not becaus eI'm in pain, but because I'm sur eall the eating pains will go away after I heal...

I wonde rif I'll lose or gain weight from this.... hmmm... liquids!

Well... I'm off to call Sweet



]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10333141/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10333141/ Mon, 09 Oct 2006 06:09:17 PDT
I'm bored...

Hung out with Sweet last night, we walked all over the place and stuff, and got subs and chocolate, and stuff at timmy's....

I'm dazed... maybe i'll scan some pictures... and post them up on here?



]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10318154/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10318154/ Sat, 07 Oct 2006 19:36:32 PDT ...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Just read something, kind of hurt...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
I need a friend right now...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...





...









]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10275578/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10275578/ Tue, 03 Oct 2006 19:34:22 PDT
Hmmm....

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10268384/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10268384/ Tue, 03 Oct 2006 07:19:35 PDT
It has been confirmed that I do have to get my gall bladder removed... don't know when though

?

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10205134/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10205134/ Wed, 27 Sep 2006 15:28:47 PDT
that really just means I have a head ache...

chewing on a tooth pick

swaying on my chair

listening to my music

feeling like I no longer care.


Goodnight for now
Love
TaniAme



]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10179574/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10179574/ Mon, 25 Sep 2006 06:26:09 PDT


]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10140342/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10140342/ Thu, 21 Sep 2006 07:52:17 PDT
Well... I'm gonna go, it takes me a while to walk to the school

catch ya!

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10140325/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10140325/ Thu, 21 Sep 2006 07:50:10 PDT Smile, you have a day that someone who lived yesturday doesn't.
Smile, tomorrow will always be better.
Smile, you can change anything, even the world.
Smile.

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10085029/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10085029/ Fri, 15 Sep 2006 20:57:51 PDT
Well, it took three people and eleven pokes to find a vein for my IV. It ended up having to go into my forwrist on my left arm... I have bandaids all over my arms now... maybe I'll try scanning them... hehehe...

then they brought me in and I was given this stuff to stop me from gagging while they shoved a camera down my throat... and I gagged the whole time, and belched and stuff all thetime annd it hurt like hell

and then they flipped me onto my side, gave me the sedetives and shoved a camera up my bum to see my bowels and intestines... that hurt really bad, so bad that i was actually screaming in pain, and so she had to stopped and sent me to get th erest done in the xray department

down there, they refused to let me pee so i hasd to hold it while they pumped me up with this chalky fluid stuff, and they plugged me up and made me turn all over the plae, this hurt just as much, i mean the turning around stuff was horrible when i was laying down that is.. when i was standing up for the xrays, moving didn't hurt so much...

and then they let me fart out as much of everuything as i could and then brought me back upstairs where i was left to wait for them to take out my IV and come back with my stuff, they got me to change and told me that my poop is going to be white for the next couple days..

Ealier tonight, I went to the washroom and it was a chalky liquid like they said, but I felt a big plop... when I went to flush, I saw that it was a big chunk of chalky stuff... eeeew... it looked like I filled the toilet with powdered Comet toilet cleaner... oh well... I'm home now

I'm going to Sudbury tomorrow

My stomach is still grumbling from the procedure... eheheh

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10084988/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10084988/ Fri, 15 Sep 2006 20:53:04 PDT ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10074329/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10074329/ Thu, 14 Sep 2006 19:31:17 PDT
When you start to feel pain deep within, where do you turn for a heal?

When your eyes start to fill and tears begin to fall, where do you look for that comfort?

When your smile begins to fade and disapear, where do you find that light to bring it back?

When your life feels like it's ending, where to you go for reassurement?

Where do you find it...


(that took me a total of like 30 seconds to write.. just now, I typed it... heheheh)

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10072678/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10072678/ Thu, 14 Sep 2006 16:54:03 PDT
]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10072662/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10072662/ Thu, 14 Sep 2006 16:52:46 PDT
Well... I have not much to talk about yet... but I probably will send another once I click send...

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10052174/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10052174/ Tue, 12 Sep 2006 16:41:17 PDT
]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10033404/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/10033404/ Sun, 10 Sep 2006 21:12:47 PDT
I've spent aproximately 150$ so far for him birthday.

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9972880/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9972880/ Tue, 05 Sep 2006 04:20:16 PDT

WEll... I've packed two peanut butter sandwiches and some cookies for Adam... I'm walking him to school so that he can show me where I'm getting picked up for lunch with the Geeks... I'm kind of excited but not really... I'm tired

I thought I could get over him, but it's something I just can't do... I can't find a way for him to leave into the world... it's scary out there, and I'm protective... but you know... I think I'm starting to accept that we aren't going to be together ever again...

We were out until midnight last night talking about D&D again...

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9957034/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9957034/ Sun, 03 Sep 2006 22:35:03 PDT
]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9950519/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9950519/ Sun, 03 Sep 2006 11:11:20 PDT
]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9946277/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9946277/ Sun, 03 Sep 2006 00:01:06 PDT
]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9945795/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9945795/ Sat, 02 Sep 2006 22:46:49 PDT
I'm addicted to it... to him... to his touch... but I'm quiting, it feels to good to be with him... I can't handle that... time to count up, not down...

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9926453/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9926453/ Fri, 01 Sep 2006 05:17:03 PDT
A year, that's all I have to do is a year.. a year until I'm over him... a year before ... I'll date other guys I'm sure, but... I think I'm holding.... he's already almost completely over me... his mom attacked me... I think... I'm not sure what I think... I don't know...

I think I held on so much because he's the only person who valued me for who I was, and wanted to be... he celebrated with me... but... I'm weak, I'm not gonna be able to get over im for a while... I give it at least three months... I'm supposed to work today, but I didn't come home until 3 last night... it's gonna be tough at work today...

I can't even think about Jacob anymore... he pops up but I feel no need to talk to him... to talk to anybody... I

feel no need to exist
and no need to die...
I feel no need to walk or sit or lie
I feel no need to be calm
I feel like I should cry
I feel no need to work, I hate my job anyway
I don't know, I just feel weak all around

he wants me to stay away from him... saying I need real time away from him... I dunno... Whatever, I'm late for work, I'll walk instead

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9926386/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9926386/ Fri, 01 Sep 2006 05:06:56 PDT
I've decided that I'm gonna say no, I'm gonna prove those skinny bitches that I can do it, and I can do it all better than they can. I'm gonna say no to that greasy chocolate cake, no to doughnuts, no to kraft dinner, no to hot dogs... no to french fries after work.. i'm gonna say no to pop, no to popcorn, no to everything they'd expect me to all back on when I'm binging, instead... no binging... no anything like that anymore... I'm sick of being fat... like a cow... whatever... no

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9904079/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9904079/ Wed, 30 Aug 2006 05:18:25 PDT
]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9904070/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9904070/ Wed, 30 Aug 2006 05:17:33 PDT
So, from now on, I'm not going to talk to anybody anymore and I'm moving... I'm leaving.. I want to get away from this place away from everything that I know.. away from my friends and family... well... not now... but maybe in the fall, I'll move away... without telling anybody first, just sending a bunch of letters in the mail to let them know...

Goodbye...

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9894111/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9894111/ Tue, 29 Aug 2006 08:59:33 PDT
I don't want to get back into my old habits...

stupid emotions...

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9814427/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9814427/ Tue, 22 Aug 2006 10:10:24 PDT
]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9814389/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9814389/ Tue, 22 Aug 2006 10:06:25 PDT
I went to Toronto and felt a spirit of happiness and comfort greater than before... BEing there made me realise that I want to be a greater self... and that I need to change a lot about myself before I can be who I'd like to be...

I have a lot of decisions to make, some will hurtpeople and some wwill even hurt me... I just need a friend to push me along....

Jacob, if you read this... stay strong.... we can fight this together... both of us... hehehehe.... anyhow, keep with it and you'll grow stronger eachday

I met a boy... hehehe.... jk, no him and I are great friends and nothing more... but we have a lot in common and he made me feel like I don't have a need to hide my true self anymore...

I saw Dave again and he gave me his pick zipper tie.... *sigh*

I danced with Jacob, JJ, Mike, Dan.... and some other guy I don't remember... I'd have to find the paper I wrote all the names down on....

I had fun.

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9721791/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9721791/ Mon, 14 Aug 2006 06:43:01 PDT
Anyhow, so I went to this Gay dance the other night and at that dance there were a few straight people, which I didn't mind too much that there was, I mean, who cares, right? One problem I had was that there was this one girl, she danced like a whore. I know her, okay, I'm not judging someone I haven't met before... but anyhow... she really pissed me off because she was straight, dancing like a sex object for anybody who would look. I HATED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, it shouldn't have bothered me, but it really did because she has this boyfriend that she apparently really really loves, and was flaunting her little grapefruits all over the place. It pissed me off. anyhow... I guess I shouldn't be too angry.

The rest of the dance was pretty fun. A guy walked me home and through awayt his cigars because i told him how gross i thought they were.... A girl kept humping my behind... and she asked if i was straight a few times....

I kissed Cappy hehehehe.. it was a joke.

my other friend was beautiful that night... it was weird seeing her like that again.

My boss came up and hugged me... he seemed really happy to see me... all but one of the guys I work with was there... no wonder why they don't look at me while I'm at work jk

i had fun

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9679027/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9679027/ Thu, 10 Aug 2006 14:16:21 PDT
Truth is in the mind... and the eyes.
]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9673399/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9673399/ Thu, 10 Aug 2006 04:31:43 PDT
Move to SUdbury? Why not? I mean, it is a few of your best friends in the church.... it is near a college... it's just a shorter drive to home than Toronto... Cheaper than Toronto... and probably lower student loans....

Moving away from friends... my hometown... my family... other stuff....

I'm tired...

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9625418/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9625418/ Mon, 07 Aug 2006 06:43:25 PDT
My latest thing I've thought about was an angel... who's wings are covered in dew... tears.. or something... I think it'd be tears to be... for personal reasons... but you wouldn't see anything but her bare back and her wings... maybe her hair on the floor.... i dunno... whatever... I'll probably never get to draw it...

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9616282/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9616282/ Sun, 06 Aug 2006 10:19:02 PDT
That sounds like a cool song... HA!

I've been thinking a lot about what to do with my life... And that's what my main focus is on this month... figuring myself out. I hope it all goes well... I really need to know.

Someone told me basically that I wouldn't find out until i hit my thirties.. but I can't wait that long.. i need to know now.

I just noticed that my arms and hands are sparkly.
]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9612066/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9612066/ Sat, 05 Aug 2006 21:26:06 PDT
A is for beaver.

A is a letter that signifies a sound. What if we didn't pronounce it as A but as B instead? I mean, using letters to write down a language makes sence, but doesn't sybols make sence if you're drawing out what you're saying? Pictionary, just sybols to describe things.. even though we wouldn't be able to really describe it without words to begin with...

I dunno... letters are letters.... what if they were reversed?



A reversed?

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9590765/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9590765/ Thu, 03 Aug 2006 18:53:58 PDT


]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9518935/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9518935/ Fri, 28 Jul 2006 04:43:40 PDT
My brother goes there, he says it's tough, but I wanna go.

I'm gonna go.



]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9493564/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9493564/ Tue, 25 Jul 2006 19:07:19 PDT
I've been pretty stuck with what I want to do for a living. I'm bored of cooking and want to get back into my artistic side. I'm looking for an online college for art, or one that I can do at home, but I can't find one.

I'm trying to get myself to pay for my apprenticeship so that I can actually start, because I know that if I don't, I'll be very upset with myself for the rest of my future.

I don't feel so comfortable at home, but I think I need to be here right now... at least until I can get rid of all those debts and stuff... and pay for everythign that needs to be paid for.

I feel guilty for not paying Momma K her rent yet, I owe her another 150$. I tried to work around the house and stuff to make her aware that i wasn't stayign just to stay but it seemed like she took it that way.

My best friend is moving out into her friend's/ my friend's place. Personally I think it'll be good for her. Unfortunately, however, very many people think that it's a mistake. It bothers me that people are saying that too. I mean, a lot of the people who are telling her she's being stupid are people who weren't ever paying attention to her until then. Whatever, all I can say is "Let Sweet make her own mistakes, don't we all make our own?"

WHATEVER!!!!

I'm writing a letter to my first bride's maid. I hope it cheers her up, she's been kind of down lately and I don't like that.

Well... I have other problems, but it's not like people actually read journals... unless they're searchign for somethign that they can insult people about.

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9462200/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9462200/ Sat, 22 Jul 2006 20:57:05 PDT

I'm over it y'know.. over... and under and to the left and to the right, and to the front, and to the back and to the outside, and to the inside of it you know...

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9106806/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/9106806/ Sun, 18 Jun 2006 15:24:45 PDT
Yeah, I havd this dream that a particular almost sorta ex-friend of mine of no mentioned name;s head got chopped off witha a fork and I laughed.... ironic.

]]> ~KissWithoutLips http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/8451822/ http://KissWithoutLips.deviantart.com/journal/8451822/ Wed, 12 Apr 2006 18:12:58 PDT I overcame all my feelings I’ve been dreading to reveal
I participated in the gossip to know more about you
I abstracted my mind and dreamed about you
I achieved better art to be noticed
I acquired a taste for culture
I acted as though I never had a feeling for you
I adapted to never being your friend
I was advised never to pursue my desires
I aided in your search for men
I analyzed the way you moved as you walked
I anticipated nothing would ever happen between us
I applied for classes I knew you’d take
I arranged my schedule just so I could see you every morning
I attained the ability to keep all my secrets from you
I brought as much energy to the group as I could
I built up some friendships to get to know you
I cared whenever I heard you cried
I checked with friends to find out some of your favorite things
I clarified rumors that were sent around
I collected your looks within my mind for my dreams
I secretly comforted you within my prayers and songs
I communicated with you without letting you know
I compared other love to the one I felt for you
I completed art work for you to see I could progress
I complied to the rules of your friends
I composed songs for you
I charged after you to talk to you, but slowed right down when I saw a friend of yours
I conceived ideas of maybe becoming friends one day
I conserved my feelings hoping you’d feel them too
I cooperated with everyone else’s systems
I coordinated my clothing by also being original
I copied what they told me to feel
I created art I thought you may enjoy
I dealt with all the pain
I debated whether my feelings were real
I decided to let you go to others
I delivered you gifts that you would never receive
I designed an outfit just for you
I detected distrust and concern
I discovered you would never love me
I dissected your movements and studied them to know you more
I was driven crazy by all of my feelings
I performed my best, so you’d see my passion
I persuaded someone else your way
I planned to tell you
I practiced how I’d tell you everything about me
I predicted you’d eventually find out
I prepared A pile of excused to lay out for you if you approached
I presented my play, almost fainting because I knew you were watching me
I protected you from so much hate
I questioned the reality of it all
I raised my hands to ask questions I though you may want to know
I ran in fear of isolation
I ranked low on your list of acquaintances
I rationalized my relationships a ways to get away from you
I read the book because I promised you I would
I recorded a song, wishing you were in the audience
I relied on seeing you dialing for confidence
I reported to my bishop in fear I was sinning
I researched this love to find its natural occurrence
I responded to your questions quickly
I eliminated any feelings that I could show outwardly
I empathized whenever your heart broke
I examined the way your hair fell across your cheeks
I exceeded all my expectations
I expanded my views and knowledge
I experimented finding no one could ever replace you, though you were never there
I explained my feelings with much relief
I explored all my senses unwillingly as you walked by me
I expressed myself more through my arts
I fixed friendships that needed mending
I followed every morning to your door with my friend
I gave into that desire, but with someone else
I learned more about myself while in love with you
I listened to your voice whenever you spoke
I made excuses to be late for class
I maintained a positive attitude
I somehow managed to be without you
I manipulated those around me to get to you
I mastered my body to show no urge to be at your side
I memorized the way you held yourself as you drew
I met you in that moment and fell in love
I obtained a hair of your head and returned it to you
I offered a bride from her to invite you over
I scanned my classed for you every year
I screened your face for that little bit of hope
I set goals with came though your inspiration
I shaped my clay after your hand
I specialized in art to be able to sketch you from across the class
I spoke loudly in drama to distract your attention
I stressed whenever you didn’t arrive for school
I studied to keep my mind off you at night
I symbolized characters as ourselves
I talked to myself about you, not anyone else
I taught others about love, for I knew I could not have
I trained myse... ]]> ~KissWithoutLips