http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Kittyfritters&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Kittyfritters en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 07 Dec 2009 02:39:58 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/28121632/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/28121632/ Tue, 03 Nov 2009 09:12:27 PST
I spent this weekend at 's house. We talked about a ton of things, including WSW (my in-progress story of my wolf characters) and a Harry Potter fanfic I've been working on for like two years now haha. She gave me a ton of new songs, several of which I've fallen in love with.

Including In My Arms by Plumb. She said it reminded her of Breen and Khaosi. Ohgod, it does. It's got me all wanting to draw them now. X3 (I've heard that song before, too, but I can't remember where, UGH.)

I may have to write something about Breen and Khaosi before they actually come into the story, like how he comes to be with her and Nikos. I started something ages ago, but I've still got to run it back by Akira-Illuser and see if she's alright with me submitting it up here sometime.

And y'know, I think I could see myself shipping some of my own characters someday. XD BreenxKhaosi would be interesting, seeing as he ages quickly like most demon wolves until maturity. Even though she's like 2,000 years old and he's a bit short of that number to say the least. But then again he's supposed to have hit maturity (well, "puberty") by the time the story starts... so it could work. *shrugs* That is, if it didn't seem too strange. It does seem slightly strange, but I've seen similar things done before.

Oh, if you happen to read this, Akira-Illuser, we still need to draw that silly little comic we were talking about last night. Y'know, with Kai and Windsurf. XD

I still want a Khaosi plushie soooo bad. D= Like, one that's sorta floppy and squishy and non-embroidered and about a foot long... Teal eyes might be a little hard to find, though.

Once I get some money that's not already set aside for something else, I'll have to commission someone to make me one. I would love them forever. (Or *cough* someone could commission someone to make it as a present... =3)

Oh, and I am actually finalizing Khaosi's design. Finally. It'll be the one on my deviation [link] yay. I've just got to make him a new ref sheet. *marks it on her to-do list*

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/27005564/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/27005564/ Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:23:20 PDT
I've been working like a dog these past two weeks, not even getting weekends off and basically working full time (8+ hours). And I've still got more work ahead of me-- I might not even get this weekend off either.

Needless to say it doesn't give me much time to do anything when I get home, especially since I come home so tired. And today's been extra tiring and stressful because we had an incident this morning with our birds. _{The psycobird is no more. Got eated. ;-;}

BUT BUT BUT. My pen to my new tablet has been found! That makes me feel better. Now I can work on things I owe when I get the time. Yay. And I did start drawing again today, but I stopped halfway through because I was falling asleep. XD

Night, all. I'm gonna go catch up on sleep I need baaaad. <3

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/26637884/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/26637884/ Sun, 16 Aug 2009 21:01:14 PDT
So I might not be uploading for a while, at least until I can find that pen. And to think I'm even /inspired/ right now.

*sniffles*

That is all.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/26272457/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/26272457/ Thu, 30 Jul 2009 09:18:02 PDT
It's strange to think that in another year I'll be two decades old. When you say it that way it sounds /ancient/. X3

I'm working today. Two jobs. At the same time. Granted, one of them is babysitting my cousin, but still.

Gertie Lou /finally/ dropped a heifer yesterday. It's her second calf. They named her Opal, as the girl names were at "O" (they name their calves alphabetically, using bible names for the boys and 'country names' for the girls; the boys are at "L". I said the next one should be Lazarus but Nana said then no one would want to send him to the butcher for fear that he'd come back to life haha). Opal is all black like her mama. So cute. =3

Still trying to keep active with my drawing and writing, but it's hard when I don't get the time to. I am, however, still working with some of my characters. You probably won't be getting anything having to do with them though because they're rp characters. Yay. Then again, I have submitted loads of things with them anyway. I'm thinking of compiling a biiig sketchdump of my old rp characters who no longer get any love, because I rped a looot when I was younger with characters who were pretty lame. x3 They'd get complete makeovers, of course... Maybe I can do that-- a comparison of before and after, what they were like when I still rped them and what they're like when I revamp them now. That would be fuuun. And since I don't rp them anymore I might have like a mass giveaway or something so they stop being neglected so much.

Oh well. We'll see what happens.

Trying to get to all my messages, uggh. I'm really sorry, guys. I'm soooo slow, I know. D=

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/26066067/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/26066067/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 12:57:19 PDT
Freelancing is only fun when you actually get payed, I think. I've been on the same project of sorts for a few months now, but my paychecks have stopped altogether. I kinda wish I could do commissions even if they're super cheap... but there's never any interest from anyone. Such is life, I guess. And school's at a complete stop due to inadequate funds to even get to my Freshman year. That's super-depressing.

So basically I'm just trying to go day by day, hoping to scrounge up some money here and there. Y'know, dig through the couch in hopes that someone dropped change... <_<

But THANK GOD we got some rain! After three straight months the pastures are completely dead, but since we got about an hours' worth of rain yesterday things actually look green. I took out the house plants to get a drink and they even perked up after fifteen minutes. It's just exhilarating, the rain. We're supposed to get more today. *crosses fingers*

I went and saw HBP on Saturday. I liked it overall-- as usual it didn't follow the books, but I've taken to seeing the movies as more AU than canon. *shrugs* The ending was rather disappointing because it seemed to me like it built and built but then really fizzled out at the climax. Then again, I suppose the end was really just to set up for the last book/movie.

I'm getting restless again, feeling as though I have to keep moving and living out of my suitcase like I've been doing. I tend to get bored with everything really quickly now, always finding myself looking to the next time I've got to pack and go to another house or the next time I'm going to be stepping foot outside the door instead of being tied down.
Hmm.
How unlike me.

Not only am I restless with my living situation, but I'm restless with my art as well. That's no surprise, I guess. I just don't know what I'm doing with it anymore. All these new characters keep invading my brain, and the old concepts stand almost forgotten. I feel this need for constant transformation, especially on the part of things concerning a steady fursona. It's like... there are so many different skins to step into, and so many for so many different personalities or moods I have, and I can't stick with it. I'm considering dropping the idea altogether. =/ Still sticking with Grim, though, as an altersona.

I'm getting to my messages and to-do list. Slowly. D=

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/25983572/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/25983572/ Thu, 16 Jul 2009 11:15:10 PDT

Stolen aaaages ago from , who stole it from . I just never posted it. Oops. xD And now I'm bored so see if you can guess these songs on my computer!

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game post your own.

1. I've given up on everything because you mess me up
2. Someday when we are wiser
3. Behind those eyes lies the truth and grief
4. They fall in line one at a time
5. Hold up wait a minute put a little love in it
6. Wash away the thoughts inside
7. Been awake for a while now
8. Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear
9. I cannot take this anymore
10. Me and all my friends we're all misunderstood
11. No new years day to celebrate
12. Looking back on the memory of
13. Long-lost words whisper slowly to me
14. She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene
15. Hello boy it's been a while
16. Girl you lived your life like a sleeping swan
17. He drowns in his dreams
18. I'm gonna be the very best
19. Vacation need a little sun
20. Well imagine as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor
21. Oh perilous place walk backwards toward you
22. I don't believe in the smile that you leave
23. I am sitting in the morning
24. Day after day I danced in your shade
25. I don't want to spend another lonely night
26. When this began I had nothing to say
27. See the stone set in your eyes
28. I waited for you today but you didn't show
29. Some things we don't talk about
30. Spend all your time waiting

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/25963496/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/25963496/ Wed, 15 Jul 2009 12:22:31 PDT
As everyone well knows, today the sixth Harry Potter movie came out (in the States; I'm not sure about the rest of the world). I haven't seen it yet but as with every time a new movie comes out, I'm finding myself in tears.

I'm. So. Happy.

We've been with these actors for eight years now (well, those that play Harry, Ron, and Hermione) and with Harry himself for even longer. We've seen both actors and characters alike grow and learn, and we've grown and learned right alongside them. It's almost amazing to look back and see just how they've matured over these years.

I don't know about everyone else but I certainly feel like the series has become a part of me, especially since getting into roleplaying and such some... well, years ago. You really get a feeling for the characters and can get into their heads to understand not only them better, but the world as a whole especially if you're creating a your own character who may have had experiences not mentioned or experienced by Harry and his friends and not had experiences that Harry and his friends did have. It really makes you realize how complex the world of Harry Potter really is and just where the series requires you to use your own imagination to expand upon ideas and rules.

Roleplaying aside, I'm extremely excited to see this movie. Even as a (nearly) nineteen year old I can't help but feel giddy over something meant for younger readers (though readers of all ages certainly can and do enjoy the series). And I will squeal with the best of them over Dan and Rupert and Tom and Oliver and James and and...

Err, yeah. *shiftyeyes*

Ily Jo. Siriusly.

So I shall go see the Half-Blood Prince here soon, hopefully, and I shall squeal and cry and giggle and perhaps hyperventilate a little bit.

Okay, a lot.

To all my fellow Potterheads, I bid you good night and good luck getting those seats to the midnight showing! <3

Oh, and as a side note (because I'm FAR less important than Harry Potter haha) I'm doing alright. I had an appointment with my doctor today, who said she doesn't want to take the screws out of my leg because they're taking up 50% of the bone right now and removal would certainly risk another fracture... but I do have bursitis because of where the screws are and will require physical therapy to start getting over some of the pain and discomfort I have.

I /have/ been drawing, surprisingly enough, but I'm too excited over Harry Potter right now to post anything. XD

That is all.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/25374490/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/25374490/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 14:01:34 PDT
I've been playing with more ideas for WSW, as well as fleshing out a bit of another project I'm thinking of working on. It's been floating in the back of my mind for a while, so I think I might work on it just so I have several ideas semi-worked in case I ever do go into something like writing professionally. I dunno.

I'm (sorta) rping again, which is fun. I've really gotten a good grasp of my characters lately. <3 I just wish they could all get along for two seconds so I could work with them when I /can't/ rp or be online. XD

I've got a throat infection. Not fun. The doctor said it was a good thing I caught it before it turned into strep throat, but the way I'm feeling it might be turning that way or going into my chest now. Eww. I have no idea where I could have picked it up, though. Probably from being in town with my dad a week ago when I was helping him with work. I'm hoping to get over this soon so I can go in for my surgery to get the screws out of my leg. I'm ready to just get it over with already, after nearly six years of waiting. That should definitely get done before the end of next month (as soon as I hear back from my doctor).

Anyway, I'm majorly missing my friends at the moment. Free time just escapes me sooo much now that I hardly have time for anything anymore, even calling people. Uggh. I need a vacation.

Well, while I play with ideas and take all my antibiotics, I wish you all a good day and tons of inspiration. <3 Ily all, even though I'm not here much anymore.

(Still thinking hard on that account change. It's a work in progress, yay.)

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24693674/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24693674/ Sun, 10 May 2009 20:03:56 PDT
I'm getting tired of the name, as well as most of the stuff I still have on here. The newer stuff I still like, but everything else...

And yet, I like to still be able to go back and look at it.

I feel like I keep changing, changing... After nearly a month I'm not really the same person I was two months ago, or four months ago, or a year ago, or four years ago. I'm trying hard to let go of so many things that were and can never be again, and yet I feel weighed down by this account, which holds almost a gateway to the past for me. It's like returning to this account every chance I get is keeping me from moving on and developing as an artist and as a person most of all.

*shrugs*

I think I might start planning a new account, as well as the characters I want to "transfer over" and continue to draw and those I think I'll scrap or give away.

I'm going to really think it all over until the next time I get online, which could be tomorrow or it could be a week from now. My life's been so unpredictable lately...

I'm going to finish anything I haven't finished yet first, though. Probably. Or just post my finished works-in-progress here when I finish them. And anything I owe, as well.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24676532/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24676532/ Sat, 09 May 2009 21:45:04 PDT
That means I've had no time to draw anything, though. Especially since I've been so busy doing loads of housework, gardening, chasing cows, caring for my great grandmother, etc etc etc. I've been going to bed super early every night, too. This, along with actually working as well, has got me so worn out, uggh. But at least no one there yells at me. =]

I did manage to read the entire Chronicles of Narnia series in about two days, though. The Last Battle is my favorite, but only the second half; otherwise LWW still takes first place. XD

Uhhh.... No real updates other than that. Nothing art-wise at least. I'm home for the weekend, then it's back to work and Nana's house.

I miss you guys. TT~TT

OHH JONO GON' KEEL ME CUZ I CUT MAH HAIRZ. it's short...ish now. Just at my shoulders. And it's poooooofy. Whoops. x3

I'm going to hit the hay now. Today's been a loooong day. Will check messages... uhh... tomorrow. Hopefully. *snores*

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24416807/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24416807/ Fri, 24 Apr 2009 19:32:12 PDT
I'm probably going to be gone for a few weeks because my grandmother asked me to stay at her house for a while to help out caring for my great grandmother. I'm leaving tomorrow, but I may be able to get online some at work (though only on dA; not AIM).

GOOD NEWS.

I've started plotting out a few pages of the history of my story, in comic form. I've even got the first page nearly finished, but I can't decide what style I'm going to go with or just how realistic/cartoonish I want it to be. I also can't decide whether I want to give the partial history that I have typed up as the story prologue, or if I want to go with the complete history that I've got plotted out. Gahh. Which would you guys prefer? (I wish I could make a poll for this. <_< )

I want to get the first page finished before posting anything having to do with it, so if I don't get completely fed up with it tomorrow I won't be posting any sort of WIP. Sorry. I know you just looove it when I upload things. *coughcough*

I'm finally getting to a finishing point at work with the project we've been working on. Yay! But next I've got a website to design. Erk.

I guess my creativity slump has resolved itself. I listened to music, talked to a few old friends again, and actually discussed my story with someone and now I'm ready to work on the story and get back to roleplaying! I'm still trying to get an owed thing done, though. *headdesk* I'm really slacking on that.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24350224/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24350224/ Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:28:19 PDT
My aunt's dogs brought home an antler with a few points, and she wasn't using it so she let me keep it. I brought it home and my brother showed me his antler (from the same side of a deer as the first one, but thicker and with broken points), and then he gave me his. So now I have a pair of left antlers. Literally. Dunno what I'm going to do with them yet. Clean 'em up first, probably. XD

I tried to draw today, but failed. I keep wanting to create more and more characters, but I never want to get rid of one because I might use it years later or I might want to use the idea but expand upon it or change it a little bit. I might actually start drawing a lot of the ideas I have, just because.

I want a border collie character because my aunt's dog is awesome. =B

I wanna write again, and roleplay.

Umm.... I was going to say something else...

OHYEAH. Chuck. Did anyone watch it tonight? Favrit Show #2, I haz eet. Nomnomnom.

Hmm, my journals seem to keep getting shorter and more pointless with each entry. D=

BOREDOM JUST KILLS ME UGGH.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24349200/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24349200/ Mon, 20 Apr 2009 18:33:35 PDT
Stolen from:

Directions:
Mark which things you have done, then calculate your score by counting the number of questions you marked. This test is out of 100 questions which means that the number you get as your score is also your percentage. Tag 10 of your friends and re-post as "I do stupid things __% of the time."

1. [] Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. [x] Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. [x] Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. [x] Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. [x] Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. [ ] Had people tell you that you are blond when you're not, or had people tell you that your blond highlights are going to your head
7. [x] Been caught staring at your crush by your crush
8. [xxxx] Have looked for something for at least 5 min then realized it was in your hand
9. [x] Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. [x] Tried to pull open a door that said push

Running total: 8

11. [ ] Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love-potion
12. [x] Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. [x] Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. [ ] Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. [x] Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. [x Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. [x] Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. [x] Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. [x] Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. [ ] Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot

Running total: 15

21. [] Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. [] Have fallen out of a moving vehicle
23. [x] Have run into a closed door
25. [x] Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. [x] It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. [x] Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. [x] Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. [x] Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. [] Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock

Running total: 21

31. [x] After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. [x] Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. [x] Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. [ ] Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. [x] Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc when its on, even though you knew it was hot
36. [x] Taken off your clothes to change into something else then accidentally put the old clothes back on.
37. [x] Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. [x] Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. [x] Walked into a pole
40. [x] Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident/stolen someones shoes by accident

Running total: 30

41. [x] took a picture of someone's eye with the flash on
43. [x] Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. [x] Walked out of the bathroom (stall) with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. [xxxx] Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there, you forgot what it was that you were going to do
46. [x] Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. [x] Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. [x] Have poked yourself in the eye
49. [x] Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. [ ] Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair

Running total: 38

51. [] Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. [x] Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. [x] Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. [x] Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was
55. [x] Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. [x] Looked into an overhead purposefully while it was on
57. [x] G... ]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24330826/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24330826/ Sun, 19 Apr 2009 17:43:56 PDT
I want to keep on working on the story though. I've always been iffy about posting anything having to do with the story, but I guess it's not epic enough to be kept secret forever. _{Me? Write something epic? HAHAHAHA!}

Anyway, I'm sorta alright with the fact that it's a story about wolves, and the plot is kinda cliche (I started it when I was thirteen, after all). For the moment, that is. I always wind up changing my mind back and forth about everything.

So... feel free to throw in some input. Yes? No? Jono, this input request goes in doubly for you.

My cat, or rather one of my four cats, is getting fatter. Maggie, the sweet shy cuddler, is pregnant and maaan it shows. I'm hoping at least one looks like her; she's a dilute caliby (Google it, hehe).

Still messing around with the fursona idea, but I think I might settle on a lion. Or some mix, like a liger or lion-leopard hybrid. White and gold, because that color combination has been poking at me for years now but I've never been able to do it justice in any character. Maybe this will be different. *shrugs*

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24305006/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24305006/ Sat, 18 Apr 2009 09:33:29 PDT
I now know what it is, and though I'm still hurting I'm mostly content because now I have an explanation to what my doctor couldn't explain.

Now, as for art...

I haven't been doing much because of work, and then hurting so much recently. That and the neighbor kids have been wanting me to play hide and go seek with them every day because I'm "cool beans" to quote the 13 year old (HAHA). I've been playing with them instead of doing art or writing, and then going to bed early. Early-ish. XD

I had a major urge to bring out my HP OCs this morning. All of them. All... *counts* eleven or so. Probably more. XDD I really do have that many, I just haven't gotten around to getting every single thing down about them yet. I have a general idea about them, at least. So if I get the time and this inspiration continues, I might wind up plotting something with all of them or at least most of them in it. Because I'm such a nerd, lawl.

I'm also kinda playing around with my unnamed fursona. Yeah. Thinking of making a main form or something, y'know that's not canine (like a feline yay!). Because EW (at least having a canine fursona myself; I don't mind others having them). I'm also working on redefining the markings. Suggestions are welcome. XD Oh, and I'm trying to name her, but I'm thinking of just going with Kit and redesigning her as I change my mind instead of changing fursonas altogether. I might actually just stick with one creature and have a few interchangeable designs. Or something. Rather than designing a few different fursonas. (Actually I might wind up doing that, uggh. Would it annoy anyone? If not, I'll consider it I guess.)EDIT: Maybe I should just let someone else design one for me for once (based on my most current one, that is). XD I DON'T EVEN KNOOOOOW.

Ohh, and HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY, !

WOOOOHOOOOO RAIIIIIN! We got over 4 inches in one day! Hey, bring ON the flash flood! We need the rain sooo bad. It was storming so hard here last night that I dreamed there was a flood, haha.

_{Still trying to get one owed thing done. *dies*}

AGGH, I miss talking to everyone. D=

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24013259/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/24013259/ Wed, 01 Apr 2009 19:56:10 PDT
Trying not to say too much on how I'm doing, for reasons. The doctors don't know what's wrong with me. I guess the next time you'll be hearing something about it is when I finally get better because apparently I talk about it too much. *shrugs*

My new (company) tablet came in today, and maaaan it's amazing. I just haven't gotten around to actually drawing anything because I've been losing sleep lately and haven't felt like drawing. Not today, at least.

Just work work work until this weekend. Maybe I'll do some art later.

Uggh, I've got to get my owed things done, and get to replies. I'm so slow. x_x

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23844001/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23844001/ Mon, 23 Mar 2009 06:01:34 PDT
That's what's most frustrating. I've put everything I have over many many years into developing my drawing skills,a nd my writing (which isn't much better) has always come second.

I dunno where I'm really going with this, but I thought it was worth noting... I've always been a very visual person, but within the past five+ years I've switched to... I don't even know. Something different. The things I can picture most clearly are actions. Never faces or characters unless like with my Three I've worked with them consistently for so long that I've really developed a mental image of them. Always actions, which is difficult to convey in non-animated art when you don't have a clear picture of your subject beyond that.

I'm really struggling here recently with my art. Then again, I always seem to struggle with everything from pose ideas to new characters... Where has my creativity gone? I really don't know. It's not just with art, either. I've noticed that I hardly ever come up with any ideas while roleplaying (much less any GOOD ones). In addition to having very little sleep these past few days and being in unbearable pain off and on, I'm really not having any ideas for art or writing or anything else.

Ohh, about the writing... When I wasn't drawing as a kid, I was writing. I started so many stories, but then never finished them. I still have that problem today, but now I'm having trouble even starting them as well. I'm always so indecisive about what should happen and should I really make this turn in the story and should this person really do this or should they do that and make the story better... Things like that. Stupid things.

I don't even know anymore. My creativity is taking a nosedive, and I just don't know what to do about it.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23800022/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23800022/ Fri, 20 Mar 2009 16:28:22 PDT
Eww. Sami got cat hair all over me. She's such a snuggly siamese, staring at my computer screen as I type...

Anyway, I was doing better about a week ago and since then things have gotten a lot worse as far as my health goes (including me catching a cold from my brother, who got it from my sister). I've got an appointment scheduled for this Monday.

I'm having trouble with my imagination lately. Well, not lately... The past few years. Since getting into high school, I've noticed my imagination has been really stifled. Anyone have any tips on how to get that creativity flowing again? I miss talking to friends about things that aren't really plausible; I'm not so comfortable doing that anymore, which is becoming a problem as I'm having to use that imagination in work now.

I've been thinking of creating a species based on Amala (instead of having her be a tiger/lynx cross), just to try to get more creativity flowing. Perhaps starting with something more plausible and making it leaning on fantasy will help... I don't think I could successfully make a cold turkey switch without getting burned out.

Hmm, a good enough ref for the species could take a while to make, though because I'm working basically five days a week and I'm pretty much on call at any time. Uggh. But hey, it'll pay good in the long run. And if not, then well at least I have some experience.

Umm... I'll try to get some owed things done this weekend. *headdesk*

Ohgawd, my brother is chasing a laser light around, trying to catch it with his bare hands. O_o

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23667929/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23667929/ Thu, 12 Mar 2009 21:16:22 PDT
So the title is all I could think of because we've had a pretty bad drought this winter. We were supposed to be having rain yesterday, today, and tomorrow, but yesterday's rain completely missed us. Since I live in a very rural place, that's not good for hay crops or livestock. Things are pretty bad, since my aunt and uncle as well as my grandparents, who all have hay crops as well as livestock, live in a county here that recently was considered a "disaster zone" or something because of how dry it was. A single wildfire burned over 750 acres and 150 homes; thankfully, my family doesn't live quite close enough to have been directly effected. Still, we need the rain very badly, and thankfully it rained today so I'm pretty happy about that. The trees are starting to think it's time to start sprouting leaves again, even though it's cooold outside.

Treez iz nawt smrt.

Haha.

I'm starting to draw more consistently again in my spare time. It's all very casual as well, which is good because in the past month a lot of my art has been rather forced, which isn't good.

Things are going better, though, and I'm learning to ignore the hectic things that pop up and let them handle themselves. I'm also taking a rather peacekeeper-type approach to situations I happen to come across, instead of being this big mess of frustration and self-pity and mopeyness. I really can chillax after all. XDD

Why does everyone keep scritching my head?! Jono, my baby brother, my dad, and now my grandpa... Do I have some invisible sign that says "Hey, scratch my head"? POR QUE.

Okay, back to art because I just remembered something I wanted to mention before. I'm actually pretty happy with my new fursona. Sure, I've only drawn her twice but I don't have this strong like of her like I did when I first created Breen, and those strong likes are usually short-lived and I wind up miserable in a month or so. I like that I didn't restrict myself to a certain species because I do wind up changing my preference a lot as far as what I draw goes. I've made a million designs for a fursona so far, and the new one I have includes a LOT of the things I liked most about my other designs. The white blaze across the forehead, the dark stripe that goes under the eye, the generally dark colors, the red eyes, and the dark forelegs, as well as the collar that my baby used to have. And by baby I mean my cat that I had to give up a few months ago.

Of course, I tweaked things here and there, extended a few markings and such, and I think I can stick with this! I still don't really have a name for her yet, so I guess whatever I go by she'll go by. This means you can call her Kittyfritters, Kit, Hey You, Loser, or whatever else you call me, but so I don't get confused you could just call her "your fursona" or something. *shrugs*

I'm probably going to be working on a reference sheet soon, as well as noting what parts would be what colors that I haven't shown yet (like if she's drawn as an equine her mane will be the same dark brown that her forelegs are, but with a creamy white forlock like her blaze. Things like that, because I probably wouldn't even bother with a ref sheet otherwise.

*needs to make herself a new avatar as well*

Gahh.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23498938/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23498938/ Mon, 02 Mar 2009 21:47:06 PST good.

Weeell, I was all caught up in the nostalgia of it all and I broke down and made myself a new account. Even though I hate the fact that it's all Flash now and and that TNT has really brought down the banhammer (err, freezehammer?) hard on loaaaads of people for little piddly things in the past, myself included lawl. I can't even post on the Neoboards anymore like I used to. Not that I'd really want to, what with Neopets' horrid roleplay reputation and despite the fact that Neopets is where I started out roleplaying way back when. I guess I have no clue, really, why I created a new account, but I did.

Ohh, it probably had something to do with creating a petpage for my only pet (a uni) and messing around with HTML again in a place where I know how to work the pages and I'm not completely lost. Somewhere where I'm comfortable.

I'm soooo rusty when it comes to horse/uni/unicorn/equine roleplaying, it's scary. Seriously. But I think I'll stalk a few topics over in the Roleplaying Neoboards for a while, ignore the wolfspeak (err, horsespeak?) and refresh my memory on how it all works again. Eww.

Well, at least it gets me working again. I'm kinda done with wolves for a while, I think, and I can only rp so much hp that after a while I get to where I need to do something else as well or I'll get sick of it. Do not want.

I'm dragging out a few oooooold rp characters as well, I think. Maybe. And I might turn them into Neopets and such, because I can remember three right offhand.

Soooo, anyone want to talk Neopets? XD

I don't know. x3

Got another doctor's appointment tomorrow. They're taking x-rays, but I don't really remember why. Something about the stones. *shrugs*

Bahaha, Craig Ferguson is playing with a unicorn puppet. He cracks me up. He's the only late night talkshow host I actually like; the others annoy me to no end.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23415790/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23415790/ Thu, 26 Feb 2009 12:54:05 PST
Well, I'm kinda coming back at least to post this and check a few messages at least. I'm still sick, yes, and they've finally told me I've got stones in both kidneys. I probably won't have to get them destroyed, but I've got to go in for regular checkups for a while to keep track of them and make sure they don't get bigger or whatever and to make sure I don't wind up having big problems with my kidneys. I've been feeling feverish since last night, but I can't find a thermometer to check my temperature, so I'll have to just hope that I don't actually have a fever (if it goes over 101F it means I'm having big issues with my kidneys and need to go to the hospital asap).

I'm a little contented finally knowing what's wrong after a whole month, but I still don't feel quite up to coming back for good. I'm going to be on more new medicine and such. I've been trying to do some art when I feel up to it, but I really can't concentrate on much of anything.

Everything's pretty much stopped for me, including keeping in touch with friends. Uggh, I miss them all, but I still don't feel entirely up to being online consistently again.

I'm not doing so hot emotionally either, because of the usual stress and just feeling bad about not being here at all and not keeping in touch with people. I guess I feel guilty or something, but it actually makes me want to stay away more. I guess the best thing for me to do is to finally come back and face it.

Either way, I've missed you all. <3

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23153433/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23153433/ Thu, 12 Feb 2009 09:59:41 PST
If I wind up drawing, writing, roleplaying, or posting anytime soon, it's by pure chance that I got anything done. I am still working bit by bit on the last image I have to do for the 'offer' I had up at the end of last year. I'm sorry for such a long wait, Shiari.

My leg is killing me, too... It feels like I slept on it, but I know I didn't. Maybe I'm hungry, too, because I didn't eat much yesterday. Don't want to wither away (I'm already pretty scrawny after not eating so well for the past two weeks and a few days) so maybe I'll have a bowl of cereal or something. I /do/ like Frosted Mini Wheats.

I've been having several dreams a night now, all of which are completely off the wall. In one I had last night, I was rooming with two of my characters in a dorm 'house' for college, and I ruined the violin on accident and then we went to church and they were singing songs from The Lion King and apparently Jesus had dreds in his beard and looked kinda like Jack Sparrow, and there was a conspiracy concerning the myrrh disappearing throughout history but it really didn't disappear. Just to demonstrate how strange my dreams have been. O_e

I really don't feel like sleeping anymore because I've slept a good 27 and a half hours /at least/ in the past day and a half. Then again, I just can't take the constant criticism so I think I'll just go back to sleep for a few days. Maybe a few years. *facekeyboard*

'Kay, enough complaining out of me. I'm going to go make a phone call to the doctor so I can set up an appointment, then eat, and then go back to sleep. See you all in a few days, hopefully, when I'm back on meds but before they've got me too loopy and depressed to come back for a week.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23031306/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/23031306/ Thu, 05 Feb 2009 22:37:30 PST
I keep saying I'm going to just draw whatever I want to draw. Well, I don't want to be just a face in the crowd when it comes to my art, but I like drawing what I'm best at. I want to keep my grasp on what I know about canine anatomy and such, and not go backward in that grasp of it. For now I'll draw my canines when I want and not restrict myself just because they're canines and canines are popular. I've really been restricting myself a lot in the past year because of that...

Anyway, I'm hoping that doing this will work and will last, because what I've taken to lately hasn't been helping me one bit. Drawing a little bit here and there and trying to ignore any thoughts of drawing canines that might cross my mind. It hasn't been working, and it really stifles my creativity.

And that's another thing. I've stopped being creative, I've noticed. I've been trying to grow up and leave behind childish things and I've really lost the magic of childhood since getting into High School. Well, now that I'm out it's high time I take it back, don't you think? I was far more inspired as a child and now I'm stuck facing reality too much to really jump out and do what I like with my art.

Or, at least that's what I'm seeing in it. I dunno, you might see something different.

So look forward to more of what I want to draw, not what I think I ought to draw. Imagine that, placing useless restrictions on oneself. Ha!

(I contradict myself a lot, don't I? Gahh, I say I'm off of canines for a while until this popularity dies down and then I realize it may never die down so I might as well have fun with my art instead of hating it.)

Anyway, besides that I'm doing... "ehh" is really the only word for it. I could be loads better, to tell you the truth. I was feeling awfully down and ill this morning, which didn't get any better once lunchtime rolled around. I'm feeling much better now, though, but only physically. Got a lot of things to sort out concerning, well, other things, but I don't really feel like talking about it. Deal with it when I have to, I guess.

I'm thinking of writing again, but what I'm not sure. I should probably work on my story to tell you the truth, but I'm stuck with it. Still. Again. For the million time, and for the millionth month. Not really, but you get the idea. I just... don't know how to get out of the rut I'm in with my story. Uggh, don't you just hate that?

And about not having replied to comments and replies yet... I'm... Uggh. I don't even know. I'll get to them soon. I hope. D=

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22844252/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22844252/ Tue, 27 Jan 2009 13:51:04 PST
M'kay, well I'm feeling a bit better than I have been feeling. Still on my medication, but it's not affecting me quite as much as it did at first-- I guess I'm adjusting to it or something. Then again, I did start feeling worse a few days ago and it didn't really stop until today. After I just about stopped eating anything but dinner (and even then it was hardly anything at all). I'm back to eating like normal today, but I think I'm slightly depressed. I'm all "mehh" about everything. Even chocolate frosting, which I don't think I'm /reaallly/ supposed to be eating because the doc said so... But hey, I felt like crap last night and so I ate some frosting because I've been wanting sugar and caffeine recently but can't have it, and I woke up feeling just fine this morning. Better, I must say, than I have been feeling.

I think those winter downs have finally caught up with me. That's the kind of "mehh" i'm feeling, but it's not really dreary outside. It's more dreary inside, as well as in my head and things are kinda empty there thought-wise.

Just listening to Josh Groban right now and his Italian-singing voice. Yeah. And trying to eek out something worth posting, urrgggh. I have a few things I finished already, but I'm not motivated to post 'em. Sorreh, that means you have to wait. _{Mehh, I might wind up posting, like, one thing. Maybe.}

No. Motivation.

On the upside, I have been working on things I ought to have finished already. I'm such a slacker. An ill one, but a slacker nonetheless.

Well, all things considered I may be feeling physically more well but I'm feeling worse emotionally. I'mma go crawl into a corner now and sleep or something, Kk?

Ohh, and one thing before I depart. Does anyone know if I can access journals past the ten that are displayed in my Journal History where you go to type your journal? D:

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22713372/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22713372/ Wed, 21 Jan 2009 13:02:04 PST
I drew a few days ago, I just have no motivation to post... or to draw /more/. Actually, I'm not even sure why I came online today-- I don't even feel like being here.

I keep having weird dreams, which I know is because I'm sick. They all seem to involve unicorns, though. Oddly enough. O-o As well as this sort of anti-gravity leaping and stuff when I try to walk. (Though that's pretty normal for me-- I dream that I can walk like that a lot.) Soyeah, unicorns and anti-gravity. XD

Well, I'll keep taking my medication and get better soon, hopefully. And try not to throw up in the meantime. So... see y'all later, I guess. <3

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22554047/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22554047/ Mon, 12 Jan 2009 23:59:05 PST
I've been pretty busy lately, and haven't had the energy to get to my messages. I apologize. D=

Gahh, everything... My new major project, sorting out characters I've been working on for a few weeks now (hmm, four or so?), leveling my Death Knight on WoW (haha), trying to get things sorted out in my head as far as what I'm doing with my life and where I'm going from here... And that's just off the top of my head.

This new project has really been taking up a ton of my time. It's also taken a lot out of me, or rather been requiring a LOT of me. It's not really draining, but just makes my brain go into no-thought mode. Like a zombie but without the "duhhhhh" and more the "ehh?" Yeah, there's not really anything going on upstairs lately.

I'm also feeling really down all of a sudden, which could be due to a slight caffeine crash (I actually had two sodas today, which is more than I usually have in a month, baha), or maybe due to the lecturing I'm going to be enduring soon. Uggh. Of course, it could be hormones (but I doubt it) or being slightly tired or something subconscious that I'd probably deny without having it smack me in the face. I dunno.

Well, I drew in the past few days surprisingly enough, but I'm too down to post it. As usual, I'll probably wait half a week to post it, and by then spam your inboxes with things.

Seriously, I'm sorry I'm so antisocial sometimes, guys. I probably come across as aloof or lazy or something. Well, I don't deny that I'm lazy, haha, but when it comes to messages and whatnot I'm usually tired by the time I get online (sometimes half-asleep, even) or I can't make a comprehensible sentence or I feel that whatever I say is going to be stupid or annoying or something. I don't know what I'm doing with anything anymore. I think... I think I need a good distracting roleplay or maybe a chat on aim. I haven't seen my lovies in a while. =C (yes i am addicted to my lovies, haha)

Well, as things often go with me I'll probably be feeling better tomorrow. I'm lame like that. >_>

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22434424/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22434424/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 13:45:45 PST . =3 _{Stay tuned for an actual journal after this quiz.}

1. List facts for 16 different people you want to say but will never tell them out loud.
2. Don't reveal who they are.
3. You can comment but don't answer to guesses. The idea is that no one knows who the facts are indicated to.
4. Tag three (3) people.

Well, some of them aren't really secrets, per se... but I've still got some stuff I'd like to get off my chest. _{Some of these actually really hurt to admit. ]=} A few people are repeated here, but I'm not going to tell which numbers they are, baha. If you're here, you might actually be able to tell if something's about you or not. Idunno. XD

AND IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

1. There could have been something if only you had stayed longer. You were amazing, intriguing, and unlike anyone I had ever known before. I wish I could have had a chance to tell you goodbye.

2. My biggest regret is that I never told you the truth. I really did love you, and even when you just about slapped me in the face showing me that you loved me too, I was too afraid of what everyone else would think. I'm sorry, and I can only hope that you somehow saw the truth in all my lies.

3. You really embarrassed and hurt me, even though I can't even act like it happened to your face. Truth is, it did. I just don't want to talk about it.

4. You're quite possibly the best person I have ever met. I'm sorry for how I treated you in the past, but now it's just you and me, even if we're not together anymore. Take care of your roomie, and don't ever forget to keep in contact with me! I love you, hon.

5. I still dream of you, though I know it's a pretty moot thing by now. This feeling should have faded by now, but it doesn't hurt anymore. I should have listened to my head when I told myself not to fall, huh? But I didn't, and even when you toyed with me, I found myself falling falling falling... And not feeling at all trapped or hurt. That's exactly the game I always wanted to play; how dare you. <3

6. I feel a connection with you that I can't explain. I don't love you, not like that anyway, but I feel you're a part of me even though we never really knew each other really really well. I saw you recently, and I got jitters that one might confuse with 'feelings', but I can't explain to anyone that it's not love, it's... something else. You're everything I'd want in a guy, but the funny thing is I can't seem to feel love toward you. I just wish I could have become better friends with you before I had no way to see you again.

7. You, you, you! I don't know what I would have ever done without you, and the place you brought me to. I grew there, and not only in my writing. I wish the place hadn't fallen apart, but I'm so unbelievably glad I still have some way to talk to you.

8. I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be. It tears me apart, and even moreso when you don't seem to understand that.

9. I can't believe we've become as close as I believe we have, if that makes sense. I wish we had only known each other in real life, because to tell you the truth I'd be afraid to meet you in person. I'd probably just let you down anyway. I just want to let you know that I'll always consider you a sister, hon. If you ever need anything, anything at all, just let me know. <3

10. I just love your sense of humor! I admit it-- you're a complete dramawhore, but I simply adore you for it. You really have a high tolerance for my lameness, don't you? I'm sorry I'm such a slacker, but I'll make it up to you, I promise.

11. I wish I could see you any way but the way I see you now. I hate hating you.

12. I was jealous of your smarts, you know. You're completely infuriating, but I love that you love to read and that you can have such a big imagination when you're not polluting it with the television and whatnot. I really have high hopes for you, so shoot for the sky!

13. I hope you get to where you want to be someday. If that's cooking or doing math or makeup or whatever else you do, so be it. Just go for it--I want you to know I love you even if I can't ever say it, not even to anyone.

14. I'm sorry I'm so proud. I can't accept a good thing when it's offered to me, and you've offered so much. I'm sorry I talk about you as if I don't like you. You'll always be like a sister to me, even if you are completely shallow and ditsy. I still love you because it's just who you are.

15. I wish I could trust you enough to admit to you what I can't admit to anyone. It's such a part of me now, and I want you to see that... but I'm afraid of what you'd think and I do... ]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22268939/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22268939/ Mon, 29 Dec 2008 20:52:52 PST
But you know how that always goes. XD

See you all when I get back! <3 <3 <3

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22175764/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22175764/ Wed, 24 Dec 2008 20:29:34 PST
Well, Happy Early Christmas or whatever. Christmas really sneaked up on me this year-- probably because of a lack of school going 'WHEEEE, CHRISTMAS VACATION SOOOOON!"

I think I've re-caught what I had a week or so ago... Lower back pains, pains in my left side, lots of nausea, dizziness, and how hiccups that aren't helping the nausea... Now, I did notice that both this time and last time I was feeling like this I had a drastic decrease in appetite-- eating almost no food, literally, for a day before it started and then most of the day the pains and nausea started. The only thing I've eaten, literally, all day today was a medium order of onion rings left over from my lunch yesterday at dinnertime, and two small bites of a sugar cookie. I was just... not hungry all day. Not even a rumbly in my tumbly.

Uggh, I don't even know what it is. I took tylenol a few hours ago, and then pepto bismol about ten minutes ago... Don't think the tylenol worked (as usually it doesn't) and the pepto hasn't kicked in yet.

What a Christmas present, ehh? Somebody sure has a (pun intended) sick sense of humor. I wasn't naughty all year, I swear. xD Well, hopefully it'll clear up overnight and I'll actually be able to go to my grandparents' house tomorrow morning. If not, this'll be the first Christmas in which I'll actually skip visiting them.

So now I'm sitting here, halfway listening to The Craft and thinking about Twilight and what not to do with characters and things plot-wise, and just characters in general, and things I need to get done eventually (mostly concerning getting three characters created by the first of January, a deadline I doubt I'll meet).

It's all very possible that this is a stress-induced illness, as once I hit my high school years I found I became very sensitive to stress and often got sick as a result. I could be stressing over the deadline, or maybe having to spend yet another holiday without a 'valid' explanation as to why I'm not in college and what I've done to further my progress getting there, and what I'm doing with my life. It could also be stress I psychologically caused myself through struggles with a character and the character's nervousness concerning stuffs, as I sometimes wind up doing that to myself without meaning to or really realizing it until after the fact, though I do try to stay self-aware at all times.

I guess the bottom line is I'm sick, even if it's all in my head.

Merry Christmas and whatnot. Go have fun opening presents and spending time with your family and stuff. And if you don't feel like doing any of that or you can't for some reason, go draw something on Christmas day and make it special that way. Or go hug a tree, because they're they need love too.

. . . Yeah, I don't know what that last one was about either. I blame feeling icky. |D

Oh. Mai. Gawsh. CAN'T WAIT for July! I saw the HBP trailer yesterday online, and I feel like a giddy child who can't wait for Christmas. Even though tomorrow's Christmas, haha. I just about hyperventilate every time I think of seeing the movie. I don't doubt I'm probably obsessed, but I just loooove a good story! Just having grown with Harry as he did in the books, and then seeing him grow again in the movies... I could go on and on, but I'll spare you, haha. I love it; I can't get enough of it.

So. Obsessed. Yeah. And a fangirl, sho 'nuff. If anything, it's of Harry Potter, Jonnypoke, and certainly not Twilight. I'll openly admit that. =3 (Wait, would that make me a Potterhead or something?)

And whoever /dared/ say Twilight was the next Harry Potter ought to have their brains rearranged and actually /read/ Harry Potter and not go by the books' ratings.

Ohh, WOOHOO on Beedle the Bard making second in ratings and kicking Breaking Dawn's scrawny butt! I read an in-depth summary of BD (as I doubt I could suffer through the book), and despite the fact that it was much more interesting and had more-- dare I say it?-- /plot/ than the first three books, there's no way it could even compare to any of the HP books. Not even the first one, which I wound up putting back on the shelf at ten years old before I saw the movie and persevered through past Hagrid emptying his pockets of mouldy dog biscuits onto the counter at Gringotts once I saw the genius in it later that year.

Ohh, and don't even get me started on the laws of writing and comparing Twilight to Harry Potter in that respect. I already gave my mother an earful over that. Actually, we had a rather nice discussion about it all and all the things wrong with the Twilight-verse. _{LAWJIKS, UR DOIN IT WRONG.}

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22150650/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22150650/ Tue, 23 Dec 2008 20:24:37 PST
Note: The offer-thingy HERE will be open until January 1st at midnight (maybe later, depending on when I go to bed, lol). Post your refs, lovies!

Note Number Two: Well, it's not really a note, but I've been passed the tradition of making the green bean casserole for Christmas from my grandmother. D: Don't eat it, trust me. _{I once turned rice into cement, as everyone that knows will probably gladly point out for the lulz. |D} Gotta (attempt to) make that tomorrow so it's ready (mental nooooote to self).

SPOILERS, YOU BET. NOT THAT THERE'S MUCH TO SPOIL PLOT-WISE, HARHAR. I apologize to any fans in advance, and advise them to stop reading right now. This could be hazardous to your health, and possibly to mine. xD

Two nights ago I went to see Twilight. I would have had this typed up before, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

*takes a deep breath* Here we go.

I'm glad they at least used an actress I liked, as well as an actor I knew from a Harry Potter movie-- that made the whole thing much more bearable.

Somehow, I couldn't stop reacting to it as though it were a comedy instead of an attempt at a romance and possibly an adventure story. Sparkles? Cue snorting laughter. More sparkles? Cue more snorting laughter. Make-out scene? Cue pfft. Cuddling scene? Cue gag reflex. Leg break? Cue shaking silent laughter and 'auggh, my leg hurts just thinking about how well they could have done that'. Every single part including a vampire? Cue thoughts of 'lol, om-nom-nom-nom'. The list goes on and on.

Well, if I were to approach this not as a movie but as something to make me laugh and halfway watch while I'm doing something more interesting (like an essay), then I'd halfway listen while doing said more-interesting thing. If I were to approach it as a movie for the sake of having something on the screen, it's "ehh". If I were to approach it as a romance or an adventure, then it's a complete waste of eight dollars.

On the upside, despite the complete lack of reason behind it, I liked the baseball (not the idea of vampires playing baseball, but the way they did the game itself), and I liked the part where he totally pulled a Mott and started explaining why his eyes were a different color than before and walked away halfway through talking, and I liked Rosalie (who didn't seem to like Bella much more than I did; "*lolbowlsmash*"). Ohh, and Mike/Eric/Tyler (who reminded me of... I dunno... people I used to know, I think; they looked like a fun crowd despite all the "lol gtfo she's my girl, n00b"). Though I have to admit Bella was a little more likable than in the book-- because we didn't have to suffer through much more of her thoughts besides "I never put much thought into how I would die" or whatever that is she's spewing at the end and beginning of the movie.

OKAY, THIS IS WARNING TO FANGIRLS WHO MIGHT STILL BE READING AND WHO PROBABLY WANT TO STONE ME TO DEATH FOR SAYING WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY. You have your final chance to stop reading now-- any flaming or attempts to convince me otherwise as far as my opinions go will be useless. xD
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, KTHNXBAI. <3

Good God, though, Edward. I know what you're thinking, I must be totally head-over-heels for teh ubar hawtness, but NO. Actually, I don't really find Robert Pattinson (the dude who played Edward) that visually appealing. Something about his eyebrows distracts me from the rest of him *eyetwitch*. I digress. Anyway, I HATE EDWARD. God, could anyone in history have written a worse male character? I'm betting he's sparkly because he's gay-- aren't boys supposed to be able to hide their emotions better and not be voluntarily spilling their guts every chance they get? And he couldn't have had worse lines-- "This is the skin of a killer!" Sparkles? HONESTLY? I've never in my life seen an axe-murderer that sparkled. Hey, the bad-guy-vampire didn't sparkle. Only you, Eddybaby, only you. And last time I checked, the worst thing you did was cuddle for hours talking about feelings and stuff. If that doesn't say gay, I don't know what does.

Not to bash gays, of course. They're awesome people. <3 Just not when they try to claim they're straight vampires that sparkle and are designed to kill. Maybe the sparkles are to confuse and stun the prey into thinking "Wait... you can't honestly be serious. *guffaws*" and then nom-nom-nom tiem. And Bella called it beautiful? No, not "beautiful"-- more "lolwhut you sparkle, dweeb?"

Anyway, I hate Edward, and I hate Bella. (Alright, she was /okay/ in the movie. A boy-crazed twit, but still /okay/. I've known plenty of boy-crazed twits in real life, so that's totally believable. I'mma-punch-your-face-in annoying, but believable.) The only reason I'd go see the movi... ]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22056974/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22056974/ Thu, 18 Dec 2008 20:47:04 PST
Anyway, I'm bored and feeling rather generous (lawl I think?), so I think I might just do something nice for my watchers to share my love. <333 But no Christmas cheer, because Kit nawt haz dat. *poutyScroogeface*

Okay, so don't expect this to be done by Christmas or anything... XD

I'd like you to post a few of your characters in a comment here, and I'll pick one to draw. I can't draw humans worth anything, though, so I'd prefer you post your NON-HUMAN character just in case. Hey, I'd even draw a moose before I'd feel comfortable drawing a human. So throw 'em all here and I'll do... something. I might just draw 'em all together like some deranged party... thing, or I might do something of an adoptable. I don't know yet. Hey, I might even turn them all into pies or something.

. . . .

*is briefly reminded of Wakinyan*

Mmmm, chocolate pieeeee. *drools*

O-o

So post a link to a character reference or two and I'll draw one. Or maybe more than one if I like the design enough or I'm thaaaat bored. XD

Umm... Happy Early Christmas(because "Merry Early Christmas" doesn't really sound right, haha).

Ohh ohh, and if you want you can also use this time to yell at me for "WHY YOU NOT ANSWER COMMENTS, N00B?!" Or something like that. *slack slack epicfail slack*

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22014433/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/22014433/ Tue, 16 Dec 2008 12:01:55 PST
Why is it so hard for me to get anything done? It's not a rhetorical question, either. I mean, it doesn't matter what I'm doing-- I worked far too slow at my waitressing job, too... but I have been working on the same piece for six days now and I'm hardly even halfway done. And it still looks like it should only take me a few hours at most.

It happens with writing as well. I take an hour, literally, to write three paragraphs. And then I sit for twenty minutes, scrutinizing every detail, before I make it final.

I mean, it's not like I'm scrutinizing every detail in my art, as many of you can probably very well tell just by looking at it...But I sit for hours working on a single thing, like the outline. Hey, not even the outline-- the SKETCH. HOURS. And here's everyone else, popping out with fifteen things in the time it takes me to make one thing. It there something wrong with me? I just feel this heavy block, almost like I do when I try math problems-- My little brother has the same problem with things like English, and though he's smarter than I was at his age we have a lot in common as far as smarts go. He was put in special education for a few years in public school, but is now attending a private school and is doing fine-- when he's motivated to do his work. When he IS motivated, he works really slowly... My parents had him diagnosed or something and the people they took him to thought he could have been slightly autistic and diagnosed him with ADD... I, on the other hand, have never been tested for anything but smarts (which got me into my own "special ed" class as Jono calls it, called Gifted and Talented). I doubt I'm eligible for that anymore, haha, even if I was still in school.

Anyway, that's not really the point. I just... work so slowly. It's frustrating, and even when I have alone and quiet time, I still can't get anything done. I work and work and it's not like I'm erasing everything and starting over several times (I learned in school not to use the eraser so much, as a lot of our art pencils didn't have erasers on them for the reason of training us not to use them). It just work really really slow. It's like there's this mental block I can't seem to find or something, and even though I really love art and writing, I can't work past it. Now, the scrutiny part in the writing thing is just me being a perfectionist and worrying that my writing isn't going to be up to par. That's normal, or at least I understand that part.

The thing is the actual work. I don't see how to work any faster than I do without turning out something that can hardly even call itself a child's drawing.

I don't think it's just me needing to clear my head, because when I do that there's even more of a block. I don't really even know how to describe it. i don't clear my head and I can't think or work. I clear my head and I can't think or work, but even more than if I hadn't cleared my head. By clearing my head I mean taking deep breaths, almost meditating to get rid of all my mental blocks. Only this seems to amplify them. A lot of the time my brain doesn't tend to work so fast, especially when switching subjects quickly (especially going from writing or drawing to having to respond verbally or react to something someone says).

I wouldn't be so surprised had it been JUST math problems (which I've never been any good at anyway) or essays for school that I really don't want to work on. I'd even understand if it was because of my environment being stressful. The thing is, this has been going on for years and years and it's finally getting to me (almost like a slap in the face, of "why haven't you been addressing this yet?!"). The other thing is I notice it mostly with my art and writing, the two things I love most, and that I think is the worst thing of all.

I always just figured I could attribute the whole thing to just being a perfectionist, or needing things to be the exact same way as they were yesterday in schedule and in placement (borderline OCD, or just being particular? *shrugs*), or not wanting to let people down by doing something wrong, or something along those lines.

*sigh* I'm just really, really struggling whenever I work on anything. /Anything/. I take soooo long to get even the simplest thing done, and I'm not sure if it's because my brain goes on lockdown and I just don't realize it or what. Now, I don't think that if I have anything it's ADD, but it could be something else... Or it could be nothing at all. I don't even know, really.

Please bear with me here. I'm feeling really confused and frustrated and I find I usually have a hard time even getting to the one or two comments and/or replies I get over a couple of days. _{I just don't feel I'm really functioning as well as everyone else and I don't know why.}

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21987991/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21987991/ Sun, 14 Dec 2008 20:18:42 PST
Zomg, I watched LOST last night. And I almost cried. ISOHAPPEH because it was an ooooold episode before Cha-a-a-a-arlieeee kicked the bucket. And Walt was still there, and Locke wasn't all DESTINYFTW, and Jack wasn't power-mad, and Michael wasn't a butt! Good times, good times.

Ohh ohh, and tomorrow Chuck comes on, yay, and then NCISftw. Giiiiiibbsyay! He laughs at the Director too much. Has anyone else noticed that? XD

I finally found a song that is basically how I think. Which is bad because it's a little kids' song. But it's by Bare Naked Ladies, so that's cool. It's called Raisins. Go Youtube it; seriously, it's funny.

*shrugs*

Just thinking of a lot of things all at once, like I always do. It's those rabbits, I swear; I just can't help but chase them this way and that, going off on tangents. |D *sings* Rabbits, chasing rabbits, om-nom-nom...

I don't think I've ever had rabbit before, but squirrel is pretty good. XD No, seriously.

Well, Akira-Illuser went to watch Twilight and she liked it. I asked her if Edward's "hotness" made up for the lack of plot, and she basically told me to go screw myself. XDD Well, I'd go see it in theatres. But ONLY to see the loooong trailer for HBP EPICWIN. DDDD Akira-Illuser said it's creepy. Hey, the /short/ trailer gave me chills. I can't wait to see the long one. *squeals*

She's going to buy Twilight when it comes out on DVD, and then force me to watch it. And if I make fun of it even once while it's on, she won't let me see the HBP trailer. *cries* But I can't heeeelp it! I can't help but think that instead of "sparkly", Eddy's "*makes gay hand motion* SPARR-klyyyy!" And then I wind up laughing my butt off the whole time. _{I wonder if he drives a blue Prius. XDDD}

I WANT TO WRIIIIITE. Or something. Actually, I think I really want to roleplay, because talking that writing-tennis really helps-- throwing ideas and such back and forth, building on someone else's ideas and what they've written. Only it doesn't help if the other person writes, like, one paragraph, haha. i just... *eyetwitch*. Call me finicky, but I can't work with that. Unless it's like an epic paragraph. For me, the more information the better. Unless I know the character. Then I can work with it.

The stupid dog won't stop barking. I'm about to go yarrr all over her. I'm not quite sure what the verb 'yarrr' means, but I'm about to. Really really.

Anyway, I have a burst of inspiration in the writing/roleplaying department, like I keep going on about, but I can't really use it. I'm lame like that. Ohh, and WMP isn't helping with the whole not being able to use the inspiration because everything that comes on random makes me want to roleplayyyy.

Epicfail.

D:

I've been thinking about WSW more lately... Still working on Kai's character, trying to revamp her and really make her more thought out and not so... air-headed? I want it to look like she's more there for a purpose, as opposed to being there for comic relief. It's still a major work in progress, and I'm not really sure as to where to start. I've been thinking of going over just what she was like before she lost her mind, and building on that, still having a little bit of her "normal" personality lying behind all the nonsense.

I'm thinking of taking what I have as far as the beginning and before the "real story" begins, and breaking it down to the bare minimum and really playing on Blaise a little more, as well as Liaka herself (as I only touched on her briefly, and it feels to me like it's more of just a filler). I like just how much I went into Moonsong, and the whole beginning strikes me as more touching on them as a family and the family as a whole and then as individual parts, and later really focusing on Imaus himself. Moonsong has always been my personal favorite (despite the fact that the story was originally going to be about Imaus only), and I've been thinking of running with this whole family idea and touching on him a little more throughout the whole thing, as well as going into what's going on with Liaka (as that's another major point that I feel needs to be touched on well before the issue's addressed by Imaus), and then what's going on with the major villain(s).

I'm going to be taking what I have and working from that, not where I left off. I know I can't be constantly reworking what I already have or else I won't get anywhere, but I really think what I have... ]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21891039/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21891039/ Mon, 08 Dec 2008 23:08:51 PST
*braincry*

Not much going on upstairs for me, really, and what is going on might as well be nonsense. But then, that could just be because I'm sick and maybeIthink overtired. Even though I've been sleeping on and off all day, though admittedly mostly "on".

I woke up several times last night, which made me have several different dreams. Weird ones, as usual. Well, "as usual" for my dreaming when I get sick...

Gack. Got a fever I think, which I almost typed as "feever" because it makes better phonetical sense. Or something to that effect. I think my immune system was down from just getting over that cold recently and so I got sick more easily than everyone else in my house. Or whatever.

Umm, so maybe no art or whatever anytime soon. I did draw today, I'm just afraid I'd post it and then get better and realize it's complete garbage.

Blaaaaah idunno. I'm gonna go take some Tylenol now, plzkthnx, and maybe then I'm gonna get moarsleep.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21837800/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21837800/ Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:51:30 PST
I have decided I want the Prince Caspian soundtrack. Maybe the movie as well. =3 I absolutely adore the song at the very end of the movie, right before the credits.

I am inspired, for the most part because of the Narnia movies, but also because of a few clips of various animals I found online. I've found that a majority of my inspiration came from Animal Planet and NatGeo, especially documentaries and such on wildlife itself. The movement, the bones and muscles moving beneath the skin and fur, the subtle twitch of the end of a tail to signify the animal's interest in something or the whiskers just pushed forward enough to convey that predatory response (at least as far as felines went)... Every bit of it inspired me, and I lost that in the past half a year. I'm once again grasping for it, trying to get inside each and every one of /those/ animal's heads just as I get into those of the characters of mine with which I am most familiar, and those that I am sometimes trying to figure out and whatnot. Not that I'm not always having to try to figure them out more and more...

Even with my wolves in WSW I try to convey a lot of that animal as well as making them so that people can (hopefully) relate to them. Usin may lower his tail and head, not look Blaise in the eyes, and at the same time speak respectfully as he tries to explain his accidental insult. It's that human that I try to see in all the animals I watch, which helps me convey it better in my own animal characters. Yet at the same time, I am always integrating that animal and that body language into my human characters. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's just how I work. I don't know.

At the same time, the thing that really annoys me about people and their characters (animal characters, mostly) is that the animals are completely anthropomorphized (and I'm not talking "anthro" here; that's a whole 'nother ballpark). They are animal in nothing but looks, and even the that's pushing it. Maybe that's why I tend to draw certain characters that don't really have too much thought into them, while reserving my more in-depth characters to strictly being written. I feel that through an image, at least when I make the image, it really looses the feel of the animal itself. I want to incorporate that into the writing so that people /know/ that the animal is IN the animal, not to see it as an animal shell with some human stuffed inside.

Maybe that's why I've tried to stop cartoonizing my characters and attempt to make them even more animal than I might write them so that it can be seen that "hey, this isn't some nice fluffy kitty; he'll bite your head off like any other lion you happen to waltz up to in real life, and it's not 'cause he's a jerk." Animals don't have words like "jerk".

I think that's why I wound up absolutely loving Aslan in the Narnia movies. He is the closest to how I see my characters visually (lion or not) than I've ever seen, even with the movie Babe (which is what I used to relate the realistic-ness I see in my characters as far as how they appear). Forget all that Disney big-eyed fluffy stuff. Forget the long-furred beautiful Kawaii-Desu-Sparkledogs. My animals may talk and may have complex interactions and such, but they're still animal through and through. Yes, they poop, yes they lick themselves, yes they sometimes kill their own young and the young of others and can still be called "good guys". It's in nature; it happens. And I believe it makes the character more true to what they really are, and makes them more believable.

It is that believability, I think, that all writers and artists try to breathe into their characters.

Ohh, and this stuff about your dog character not jumping on people or licking itself? Deal with it-- it's how dogs are. I don't care how smart your dog is, sometimes dogs eat their own poop. It's gross, but it's life and it's nature. Maybe if you get out of your computer and actually WATCH your dog and get that dog out into the yard, you'll be able to make your characters more than fluffbrains. D< Even your cat characters-- do you honestly believe cats would form a clan or follow laws? Have you ever actually owned a cat and done more with it than feed it and change its litterbox? The only laws a cat would follow is the laws of instinct: self-preservation, sex, and something else I can't remember at the moment in the order of importance ad dictated by the brain. Food, maybe? I don't remember. Cats won't run in to battle over anything but the safety of their own young (strictly in the case of females, with the exception of a few feline species) and the protection of their territory. Certainly not for any cat but themselves or their young (with the exception of male lions protecting their pride females, and even then it's iffy as to the exact... ]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21824620/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21824620/ Thu, 04 Dec 2008 23:45:31 PST
Only very slight spoilers, nothing too revealing I hope.

...Just to be nice, I won't go into too much detail with the movie itself. Well, not /too/ much.









I admit, despite being based on the book and thus not being a "normal" sequel (meaning most sequels that aren't books first aren't as good as the first movies, or at least such is my opinion), the movie didn't have nearly the impact (or so I felt) that the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe did. I must say, though, that battle scene at the How... I was shaking. It was more intense and engaging than the battle in the first one, and was rather differently set up but they really pulled it off. I liked the fact that we got to see a bit more into Peter's character, but I wish we would have gotten to see a bit more with the other three. Then again, I guess the story wasn't really about them so much as it was about Caspian himself...

It didn't really speak to me as much as the first movie did and really came across more as being a /movie/ and just a /story/ than the first one did. The first one was more... not really preachy, but as a Christian I could see the underlying messages in it that C. S. Lewis had and that I didn't really feel in this one. Sure, there was having faith in yourself and not expecting Aslan to do it all himself or just to swoop in and save the day and not learn anything from it (like praying not to be given courage or whathaveyou, but praying to learn to be courageous; not the spoonfed stuff people always expect, and what Peter expected as far as Aslan's help went), but I didn't feel it spoke as strongly as the first one did. I think that they could have done more with the message itself (or even /a/ message in the first place, even if that's "YO, DON'T RELEASE WHITE WITCH, FOO', but I guess that's Hollywood for you. Man, that part, though... Peter's face at that part just struck me because there was consideration. Temptation, man... temptation. *wags finger*

I also noticed that Aslan himself looked more smooth and not as furry and realistic in the face; I don't think they really put as much time into designing him as far as computer graphics went, which is disappointing. I loved that they kept him a might bit larger than he was in the last one, in accordance with the book. (Haha, I can just /hear/ Lily saying "In accordance with the prophecy"... Ahh, inside joke, long story, and whatnot, /if you know what I mean/. X3)

All the further I can say is that I'm now waiting on the third one. Hmm, maybe I ought to start reading the books again? xD

So after Prince Caspian we watched Hancock. I prefer that type of superhero movie to the usual take on superheroes and the like. I'd watch it again, which is really saying something because I'm generally not into all the superhero movies.

Inspiration? Well, those were inspiring. I must say, though, that things are going to be picking up for me here pretty soon as far as art and creative things go. Or at least that's the plan Jono and I have. *shrugs* As far as art, I haven't done much. I'm working on other things at the moment, especially in the roleplaying department. That's got me a little anxious, as I've really grown rusty and I... I don't know what's going on with my inspiration or muses. Urrgh. It usually picks up if I have people there to bounce off of, but I'm still nervous about it nevertheless.

In other news, I got a Pepsi from my mom when she got home today. O-o Why? Because I babysat my brother today, she said. I am officially weirded out. Ohh, and I got my Draenai Hunter up to lvl 30 today... Really not much else.

Gurrrh, still trying to get through all these messages day by day. I go so slowly at this...

OMNOMNOM GRAPEFRUIT.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21758294/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21758294/ Sun, 30 Nov 2008 23:06:26 PST
Hrrm. Trying to scrape together another avatar because I'm tired of my current one. Don't know what of yet, uggh. Probably Amala or something.

I need to decide what characters I'm drawing and what ones I'm not, because I've got so many refs in my account waaaay back there but I never draw any of them. A majority of ones are for my story and thus aren't drawn often (ha, or hardly at all now that I think about it), and I'm feeling rather loose, if you excuse my phrasing, as far as devotion to characters goes because I don't stick with one. I have Breen, sure... As well as Khaosi and Wakinyan, but I hardly ever draw /them/. Now Amala, my tinx (tiger-lynx hybrid), has become a favorite of mine... but I feel that's the only ones I ever draw (Amala and Breen). Okay, maybe Tao every now and again, but other than that...

I don't know. I have my roleplaying muses about whom I am passionate, and yet when it comes to those I draw... It seems I only ever draw Breen, my ex-fursona. Maybe I need to fix that and it'll get me out of this rut I'm in, at least a little bit. I'm not passionate about what I draw anymore, and that needs to change. I'm just... not sure if I'm going about this correctly. DX I guess I'll just take it a step at a time.

Here's hoping tomorrow goes better than the rest of the week's been going. Got in a fight today (not a fist fight, heh) and things were rocky, but they seem to have worked out. I'm still not looking forward to Christmas, though. It'll probably just be another day to me, because I don't care. Like Jono and I just discussed, I HATE YOU CHRISTMAS COMMERCIALS. And Christmas songs. Just no. Call me a Scrooge, and sure I'll tell you 'Bah, humbug."

Looking to update my version of PaintTool SAI if I can (though I doubt it) because my trial ran out. Again. Don't know how I got a second trial, but I did. O-o

I'm, umm, thinking of posting a bit of my story up here, WSW. I posted the prequel aaages ago (or at least the first chapter, as I lost my notes and chapter two when my last computer died), but... I don't know, maybe someone's interested in it here? I feel weird drawing things for it when nobody knows what it is or what it's about or just who this "Imaus" is. See, you've probably never even heard of him, have you? EEEXactly.

Bahh. Just trying to get passionate about the story again, and I think talking about it will work, as I haven't worked on it in ages. My lack of passion for it anymore is probably a bad sign, but I'm going to persevere. It's been my main project for five years now, so I can't just drop it. That'd be five years wasted, especially considering all the work and complexity I've put into it.

About that new muse... I'm kinda stuck, as I've got about three different things I'm testing out to see which one fits best, and one fits for this but not this, and another fits for that but oh no doesn't fit for this over here like the other one does. Probably confusing (I could explain it properly if I had a diagram, lawl) but oh well. You probably won't see any of this character once I get it up and running properly, unless you happen to read any prose or poetry I post here. If I even post it. I'll probably just wind up rping. *shrugs*

My ear has gotten worse, I think. I might actually just have a really bad habit of getting water in my ears when I shower, because the last time it was hurting it went away by itself (but then my wisdom tooth started coming in more around that time, so that might have been partially a factor since they're on the same side of my head).

In my current set of headphones, the right speaker is louder than the left, which is reaaaally weird when I put then in the correct ears-- I can't hear anything out of the left one when it's in my left ear. But when I switch them... it's much better.

...Only they hurt the inside of my ears when I wear them wrong. *shakes fist* As my neighbor would say, I jus' cain't win fer loosin'.

Maaan, I went to Taco Bell today and wanted to try a Crunchwrap Supreme, but I was distracted by my brother and went by the pictures instead of reading-- wound up ordering a Steak Quesadilla instead. I was mad. D<

Ohh, Chuck comes on Monday night (tomorrow night, or tonight depending on how you look at it), and then NCIS on Tuesday night; I'm looking forward to that. Anybody know when the new season of LOST starts up?

EDIT: EWW. I was just chewing on my finger without realizing it a minute ago because I was hungry and felt it was too late to dig up anything from the kitchen... |D As soon as I realized I was chewing on my finger, I pulled it out of my mouth to... ]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21741129/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21741129/ Sun, 30 Nov 2008 01:03:32 PST
Still feeling rant-y. I hate it when my sister's gone; now everything that needs to be done around the house gets handed to /me/. Tending to the baby brother, fixing meals (though I admit they help because my cooking skills are FAIL), playing Go-fer (y'know, "go-fer this, go-fer that"). As much as I dislike my sister (you have no idea) I kinda maybe in the most reluctant way possible wish she had come back today instead of going to church with Nana tomorrow. Even though she's obnoxious and has as much respect for me as she does a cow pie. Anyway, I'm automatically picked to do all this other junk that people could very VERY easily do themselves (like peeling an orange; seriously) and I'm still all "-muttergrumble-" about it. Actually, I'm still pretty down overall, but I'm too overtired to really feel anything except something vaguely like a sugar-high, except without the thought all jumbled in there... Hmm, interesting.

Too tired to think of much else or to really be upset about anything at the moment. Just submitting a few deviations and this journal and then probably heading out and leaving messages for tomorrow when I can think, because I really need to get some sleep. |D They've got me waking early to tend to things and whatnot.

But I'm repeating myself. Gahh. So, niiight all. Umm, I mean you. Whoever happens to read this. XD

OHH OHH. Worked on some things today. Developing that muse and whatnot. More tomorrow, if I can get on with all the chores I've got, uggh, and stuff. I was going to say something else as well, but I forgot it. Bahh.

KBAI.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21721775/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21721775/ Fri, 28 Nov 2008 21:11:46 PST
Still can't hear too well out of my left ear. I think it's from two years of sitting to the right of Jonnypoke during lunch. Yak yak yak yak yak.

I already feel the "bahh humbug" coming on. I'm not a Christmas person, much less one for Christmas songs, which everyone has already started playing. Uggh. I hate the holidays. I hate Christmas songs; they're too sedated and brainwashy happy.

I keep having dreams where I'm someone else, and it's annoying because it's always the same non-existent person. And other people that I don't know but the person I "am" knows keep talking to me. O-o I've been other creatures in my dreams before, and I've been my irl buddy Akira-Illuser like once, which was weird to say the least, but I keep winding up being this same other girl that doesn't even exist. It's like... playing a video game, but "me" isn't even there, thinking about things from behind the game controller. It's like I shift completely into this other person, thoughts and all. It's like Dissociative Dream Identity Disorder or something (which I just made up right now). WHUT.

I'm still not really inspired, but I'm working on things anyway. It's like... I CAN work on things, I'm just not passionate about anything I complete. I'm just like, "Mehh, I drew. Big deal. Let's draw again, just to draw. What am I drawing? Idunno. Don't really care. I'm just drawing to draw."

I am playing with the idea of fiddling with a new muse. The one that I mentioned, like, once maybe a few weeks ago. I still haven't done anything with it yet, but I'm thinking about it at least. *shrugs*

*headdesk*

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21708363/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21708363/ Thu, 27 Nov 2008 23:57:25 PST SORRY IF THIS IS IN YOUR INBOX TWICE. I THINK DA HICCUPED OR SOMETHING BECAUSE I KNOW I ONLY POSTED IT ONCE AND YET THERE WERE TWO ENTRIES BY THIS TITLE SHOWING IN MY JOURNAL ENTRIES.

I can hardly hear out of my left ear, and the pain I was having a while ago has returned. Not quite so badly, yet, but still... I'm really struggling to listen to music and such out of my right ear only. It just /kills/ me, because it's not right, and I /know/ I'm supposed to be hearing noise in my left ear, but it's /not/ /there/.

Cue slight OCD. *grinds teeth*

Well, the Thanksgiving food today was good. I wasn't hungry, but I still wound up eating two servings plus dessert, plus more desert when I got home. Because I'm that much of a pig, even if you wouldn't know it by looking at me. *sighs* Family was... alright. At least I didn't get pinned with the baby for the duration of the visit. Other than that we didn't have much of a "family day" because the foodstuffs took up the whole dining table, so we all had to sit wherever we could-- I wound up sitting with a TV tray in the TV room alone with my dad. It was depressing. And don't even get me started on preparation this morning because we cooked everything last-minute and my dad was yelling and it was chaos, and as usual most of the things that went wrong were blamed on me. Even my sister nearly dropping the pies in the truck on the way there. Uggh.

Just waiting on the real Thanksgiving to start. *snuggles best buddehs* Though... it's not going to be for me, so I guess I ought to stop all that. Ehh.

I don't have much motivation to do anything here recently, and I think I'm starting to get cabin fever (umm, whatever it is you get when you're cooped up for too long; the irritability, the sleeping a lot, the forgetfulness, other symptoms I can't think of). Still no substantial conversations to speak of, unless you count a partial one I had with my grandfather about the tv shows Chuck and Heroes (which I don't really watch, but I know some stuff about it from my parents talking to me about it). *dies* I just... don't feel like doing much of anything. No, wait, I do but I just can't. It's all caught up in my head and I get bits and pieces of inspiration (a feeling, part of a scene, a blurry little blurb from a muse...) and I CAN'T MAKE USE OF IT. I'm sinking back into that slump. Somebody, somebody taaaalk to meee! I need this feedback and such to keep going, but nobody seems to understand that... Uggh, whatever. It's cool. I'm alright. I'm just going a little crazy at the moment.

"Haha, at the moment," my mother asks. To which I respond, "well, moreso than usual." Because my sanity is such a big joke around here. *sarcasm* Actually, it could be. I try to block everyone out. *shrugs*

I keep coming across old pictures of him, my bebeh... And it hurts. *sigh* I dunno. I just don't know anymore.

Well, crizzapples! I need to... I dunno. Talk to someone. Nothing speaks to me anymore (in the inspiring way, that is), and I can't seem to find my own characters interesting. I'm always wanting to put my own spin (especially writing-wise) on already-partially-developed characters... And do nothing with mine. Well, with the exception of my Three. And even with them, one of my muses has yet to really, really come back. It feels like I'm just trying to pretend he's back when he's not, and so anything I get muse-wise isn't as passionate or strong as usual and is really like I'm filling in what he'd say and do. Really depressing. DDDD=

Hmm, I guess I sound a little better about things now... I'm not. But yeah, I guess I ought to sound a little enthusiastic about /something/. Like...

Bahh, I can't even think of anything to be enthusiastic about. Not a single thing.

No, wait, I lie. My cold's gone. *makes a lame attempt to sound enthused*

...Only now it's been replaced by late-late-night sneezing fits. BLARRGGGG.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21690608/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21690608/ Wed, 26 Nov 2008 23:50:23 PST
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Umm... I don't... know?

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Bahh, I lost my only hoodie ages ago.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Umm... My baby brother? idk.

4. Do you plan outfits?
Not really.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Tired...-Ish.

7. Who was the last person you kissed?
Umm... probably my baby brother. XD

8. Person before that?
My kittybaby Albert. T~T

10. What are you craving right now?
ZOMG pear-flavored jelly beans.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Still Bubbles and Squeak. Eww.

12. Do you make prank calls?
I made one, like, in 6th grade. To a friend, because another friend dared me at her sleepover.

13. Ever hooked up with some one out of state?
Nope.

14. Do you sleep with any stuff animals?
Nope, not anymore.

15. Would you dance to the taco song?
What's the taco song? O-o

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Actually, yes. Well past it, too, trying to fall asleep.

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Lick, or use a spoon to scoop it out of the cone. Then I get a messyface, but hey at least my teeth don't hurt because of the cold.

18. Do you like anyone right now?
Mehh.

19. What do you think of crickets?
I liek themmmm.

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Nopers.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Actually, I discovered recently that it's okay, once you get past the texture.

22. What are you listening to right now?
Field of Innocence -- Evanescence

25. Would you go sky diving?
OHGODNO.

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
If I wasn't paying. XDD

27. Would you throw potatoes at him?
Umm... no.

28. Is there anything sparkly on you?
Nope.

30. Do you rent movies often?
Recently, yes. A lot.

31. Who sits behind you in your math art class?
I don't have math or art class anymore, much less "math art" class.

34. Can you count backwards from 74?
I think so.

35. Who are you going to be with tonight??
Pfft. Just me all by my lonesome, like always.

36. Brown or white egg?
Brown, because the chickens are free-range. =3

38. Ever been on a train?
Yes, back in, like, 2nd grade, harhar.

39. Ever told someone you loved them?
Albert, my cat. And my family. I've been too dumb to tell anyone else. :/

40. Do you have a cell phone?
Nope. I use my mom's. |D

43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
Pfft. Which one?

44. Ever had cream puffs?
I don't think so.

45. Ever had Breaded Shrimp?
*drools*

46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Nope. The actual concept theory thing is interesting, though.

47. What was the last question you asked?
"Can I, umm... go online?" -- said to my dad about an hour ago. XD

48. What was the last CD you bought?
Anywhere But Home - Evanescence

49. What is/was your bus number for school?
Six, before I graduated. |D

51. Is your hair curly?
Err... wavy. Pfft, sort of. I dunno. It doesn't know what it's doing anymore.

52. Last time you cried?
Umm...

53. Ever walked into a wall?
HAHA, yes, twice at work. I think was present for one of those times. XD

54. Ever walked UP a wall?
Umm... When I was little I used to climb the walls in the hallway with my little sis.

55. Have you ever bought anything from PacSun?
No.

56. Favorite time of the year?
Late spring, early summer, when it's still stormy but getting warmer.

58. Favorite color(s)?
Idunno.

60. Do you have any tattoos?
Nope. Not yet. xD

61.Who was the last person you held hands with?
Heh. Probably some kid from second grade because we were fighting and the teacher was mean and made us hold hands for the day. |D

62. Do you sleep with the TV on?
No. What kind of freak does that?

63. Where was your default picture taken at?
Psst. I don't have one.

64. Why was your default picture taken?
Again-- I don't have one.

65. Do you like your life right now?
Ehh.

66. How do you feel about 'love'?
I could go on for ages on this subject. It's like a new car. I wish I had it,... ]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21690307/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21690307/ Wed, 26 Nov 2008 23:17:25 PST
Well, I had a whole bunch typed up here, but as usual, I let it out and immediately regretted it. I don't like people seeing it, but I want someone to support me, or comfort me, or something... I edited for a third time, but figured out while trying to explain it I wound up saying all the same stuff over so here it is. Don't be surprised if I post a quiz after this so I stop being sick of myself for having this stuff on my front page.

And so here comes the bitterness at myself for even mentioning it. Pull on a face, like always, hide it away, push it down inside... And again, I'm having to edit this. Things have started to go downhill, and yet I must remain strong. Even when I had to give my baby away, my dear Albert, the only one here that really was worth coming home to or even being with, I couldn't cry. I had to shrug it off, and now I'm still regretting it. I have yet to even cry over him more than just a tiny bit, and it's how many months later? Two? Three? I dunno. But I feel it rising in me, and especially when I'm sleeping and I wake because I swear he's sleeping on my back, where he used to love sitting to groom or sleep or just to sit, and I just want to roll over and snuggle him because he was the only one that ever listened to me when I cried (well, as much as a cat listens, anyway), and he was my comfort... But then he's not there and I feel like crap, and then I push it back down because someone would hear me or come in to wake me up, or just to bother me... And then I'm a female dog to everyone all day because I can't cry over him, because I force myself not to and even when I try I can't, or it's not enough to really make me feel better.

And it's much the approach I've taken to everything recently. Any time I'm upset, it gets pushed down inside, bottled up, and now I don't even have Maria, my bestest best friend to talk to; I told her almost everything in school, even about the other him I lost... God, before I start crying (just the mention of her name makes me tear up), I'm going to stop.

Now, even when I want to fill that void that giving him up created, I can't because my dad hates cats. Even the three outside (Bijay, Raja, and Sammy) he yells at and literally throws out the door, even though when his dog runs inside he just tells her to go back outside, a lot of the time it's calmly. I hate it, and I feel even more trapped here because of it. There's no one, no one anymore...

Thanksgiving, yes, means food and it's my favorite holiday, but I'm just really not looking forward to it this year. It could be because of everything going on with my friend, or it could be the fact that I haven't had a substantial conversation with anyone (outside my immediate family, that is, and even then there's hardly any substantial conversations going on) in five days. Perhaps more, I don't remember; I don't remember a whole lot anymore. That and my sister's being a complete... yeah, and I just don't feel like I'm worth anything anymore. Even with my art and my writing, what I feel is the best thing I have to offer and is the best part of me, what do I get? "Mm hmm, that's nice, but this is wrong and this is wrong, and isn't it supposed to be like this?" when I show them my pictures. I'm proud when I first draw or write something, and half the time I'm not even given the time of day when I try to show them my drawings. Writing? Pfft, forget me trying to show them anything I write; they're always "too busy".

I just feel... really unappreciated, and nothing I do seems to be good enough. I mean, I like my family and all (including everyone outside my immediate family), but it just... I don't feel like I'm a part of them. They're always on to me about one thing or another, even my Nana whom I love to death. She supports me, though, and she understands... And my great aunt, her sister (who rather acts like a teenager herself, haha). I feel the way I did when I was a child when I interact with them-- not trod upon, but like I really have someone here I can look up to, someone that's going to support me and who really appreciates my efforts. Nana even wants me to go live with her, but I can't take what my family says about it, how I wouldn't be able to have a job if I lived with her because of how far out in the country she lives, and yet I'm still out of work living with my parents.

Despite the fact that I finally got to sit at the adults' table on the last big holiday we had as a big family (umm, I don't remember which one it was; could have been last Thanksgiving) I'm still feeling rather reluctant to spend another holiday with them all. I'm neither considered an adult nor am I a kid, and it's not like there are any other relatives that are even under 35 that I can spend time with on the holidays besides my siblings. Don't even get me started on that.

I feel like I ough... ]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21673237/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21673237/ Tue, 25 Nov 2008 23:23:48 PST
Did I mention I love it? XD

I've been teaching myself to play one of my favorite songs by ear: Where, from the Chronicles of Narnia soundtrack (<333!) I've got most of it worked out. And I'm excited.

Now, if I could only get my hands on a real piano... Again. Somewhere other than my dad's boss's house. XD

I've been drawing a lot, but things are going to go slowly soon... I have so many ideas floating around in my head and I'm seriously thinking of focusing more on felines here pretty soon. I can't get away from them here recently; they're just outside, they're in my dreams, they're in my thoughts... and they're in my ideas.

My cold's finally dying down after, like, two weeks. Uggh. FINALLY. Okay, now prepare for a complete mood swing. Wait for it, waiiiit for it.... D=

I'm... *sigh* worried for a friend, so I'm sure I'll probably be up all night here at dA if I can get away with it. Besides the piano thing, things here have been pretty "uggh" recently, considering the aforementioned friend and also considering that I haven't been able to talk with my lovies for four days. _{(i miss cping. D= )} This has all got me feeling down, so I think I'll leave checking messages for tomorrow when I can make a coherent reply because I'm kinda stuck on fretting at the moment. God, I hope she winds up being okay. If I could I would totally drive to see her tonight, but I'm not family and I doubt they'd let anyone besides family see her. BUT I LOVE HER LIKE FAMILY, THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING <3<3<3. We'll just have to throw her a Thanksgiving since she's going to miss it, just you and me and her, Jono! Mmmm, fooood... Ohh, and I can... /try/ to cook something. XD

Well, it's the thought that counts, right?

RIGHT?

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21605113/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21605113/ Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:32:00 PST
Does it bother or upset you that I don't thank you for watching me or faving my deviations?

Because I don't really thank people except when it comes to comments. I always figured it was just taking up space on people's pages, and didn't really mean anything because it had become such a normal everyday thing (like asking someone how they are when you see them, but you don't /really/ want to know how they are, you're just used to being "polite" like that). I realize now, however, that it might make me come off as standoffish or something, which I don't find myself to be.

Okay, so if I don't get any responses to this, I'm just going to assume it bothers no one and go on not saying anything about watches or faves. :/

Moving on.

I HATE IT. Once I get one character down spot on as far as knowing what's going on with them and in their head and what their motives and feelings are, one of the others has to go and confuse me. I'm very, very happy for more reasons than one right now, all having to do with one of my characters, and one of the major reasons is because I finally figured this one out and have a solid understanding... But as the others are changing, I can't seem to get a grasp on them anymore. WHY CAN'T THEY JUST ALL COOPERATE AT ONCE?

Anyway, this character is starting to be more round to my liking rather than flat at all, and I've got a good understanding of 'em now. =3 And it brings inspirationnnnn, but I just wish I had a good enough understanding of how to draw humans to actually use any of it. I'm happeh, for the most part, and it's more "channeling" a character than my own happiness if I can get away with calling it that (I'm happy because the character's happy, omgshock at who's happy, too). XD

I prefer this cheer to holiday cheer. Holidays are dumb. No, wait, holiday cheer is dumb. X3

Something that's been on my mind just reminds me of one line from my story that really stood out to me most: "You were never there-- it really messed Moonsong up." Bahh, I have so many characters that are, in Imaus' words, "messed up" in one way or another. Perhaps that says something about me?

My dad came home today and brought with him a treat for everyone from his trip-- I got an Indian fry bread mix and kit, and he said it's perfect for me: the package says "child-friendly recipe". Because I can't cook worth anything. <_<

Still got this cold. GAHH. MY CHEESECAKE HAD NO FLAVOR WHATSOEVER TODAY. *cries* Someone put me out of my misery. D:

Uggh, why do I use this Journal feature so much? I got a LJ, but I hardly ever use the thing. <_<

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21571911/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21571911/ Wed, 19 Nov 2008 18:59:39 PST
Well, I've broken down and started reading Twilight.

Somebody kill me now.

The writing is bland, the intelligent words that are in there are thrown in rather haphazardly like the author had to have a dictionary on hand, and the woman starts sentences with BUT and SO. GOOD GOD, don't write like that!

Granted, I do it in journals, but that's because I think like that, not because I write like it. You NEVER begin a sentence with 'but' or 'so', especially if you can combine two sentences and use a comma, and especially not in formal writing-- which is what I consider a book to be. FORMAL.

EDIT: I have been informed that the "but" and "so" was probably to make it more like a teenager would talk rather than how someone would write. Or something like that. I know what she meant, I just can't put it into words. D: So I retract, sort of, my statement about starting sentences using those words. I keep thinking in the 3rd-person-writing way, not the first-person-writing way. XD :ENDEDIT

This sounds like it was written by a fourteen year old (now, that's being generous, my mother tells me) who was bored by her classes and decided to daydream, not putting much thought into it other than "Hmm, how can I turn this into my own private fantasy?"

Were it not for the author's style, the plot so far would be interesting. But since it is in her style... *eyetwitch* I'm having a hard time struggling through it for the sake of a plot that seems to be developing. Hopefully.

Call me nit-picky, but another thing that bothers me is she's rushing through her whole day, leaving a sentence for each little part and not giving me as the reader a chance to encounter some dialogue or at least a scene that doesn't include her (Bella) miraculously remembering the names of all 157 students in the school one minute, and then forgetting them the next, and then suddenly remembering them again when it's so convenient to do so.

Bella have something wrong with her brain or something.
(OHMAIGAWD, two 'something's in one sentence-- I'm getting dumber by the minute just READING this thing! D: )

Uggh, Edward makes me sick. He's just... one minute he's hating Bella's guts, then he disappears for a few days, and when he comes back he's sweet and charming and completely NOT the person he was introduced as. He even corrects the teacher when he calls the main character Isabella... And I quote:

"'Bella,' Edward corrected automatically. 'Actually, she identified three of the five.'"

And all Bella can do is gawk at his amazing dazzlingness. For pages. And pages. Every chance she gets. And even chances she doesn't get.

Holy cow, this girl is bitter, clumsy, disrespectful to her father and feels as though she has to take care of her mother who couldn't possibly do any good on her own, hates snow, rain, clouds, and nice people, and yet this boy (not to mention the rest of the school) is falling all over her? Ohh, did I mention she's shallow? Mike is nice, helps her with things, and what does he get from her? She just walks with him to class and ignores him half the time. The second Mr. Sexy starts being nice to her, she's falling all over him and oh-so-liek-in-luv-4evas because he's got such a stunningly beautiful face?

God, she is a Mary-Sue. And, y'know, I kinda had confidence that I'd actually like Edward as a character because it seemed he was the only one that hated Bella, Miss Personality, or rather Miss Lack Thereof. And now he's just been assimilated in to the rest of the story's approach to her. Let's hope someone eventually comes around to hate her (besides me).

Uggh, I couldn't even continue past chapter four. So, naturally, I skimmed the rest.

I am SO not reading this anymore. Maybe one day when I get brave I will, or when I want to refresh my memory on how NOT to write, but for now I'm putting this book away or I'm going to be sick for more reasons than just this cold.

There is one good thing that comes from reading this so far, though...

I have a newfound confidence that if /she/ can get /that/ atrocity published, then by golly, I can get my story published, too.

XD

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21520075/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21520075/ Sun, 16 Nov 2008 14:22:51 PST
Why do I even have characters if I don't ever draw them? They sit in my head and rot because I'm satisfied with just keeping them to myself most of the time.

It didn't used to be like that. I used to want to share everything with the world, but now I'm content with just keeping them all to myself, my own secrets, because I don't feel the world's interested. Now, please don't take that as a cry for more comments and favs and stuff... Actually, it feels weird when people comment things that are just "I like it!" and that's it. I just want to go, "Umm.... Yeah, I kinda guessed that when you faved it. O-e" And as for the fav-and-runs, I'm always curious as to who that new username is that just faved my work.

Anyway, I guess I don't know what I'm talking about. I think I'll take a request or two or maybe three. Because three's a good, solid number even if it is a crowd. Or in the case of dogs, a pack. Have you ever noticed that one dog running free is fine, and so is two, generally, but once you get three there's a whole pack mentality that kicks in and you'd better hope those dogs are on the other side of the fence?

Anyway, I'm taking THREE REQUESTS. But on one condition: they have to be my characters. In my gallery or ones I've talked about. If I get too entirely bored, I'll take three requests of characters that /aren't/ mine, MAYBE.

So... you got that? I'll take the first three of my characters named here (maybe more if I feel like it) and draw them. If you like, go ahead and say why you want to see more of those particular characters. Or hey, if you say you want to see an interaction between so-and-so and so-and-so, I'll count that as one. Unless it's like "all your characters interacting ftw". No. Haha, nice try, no. XD

You can be as specific or as general as you like with your request.

I'll let you know when I decide to take requests of characters that aren't my own, but for now I need to get back into drawing mine. Besides, I'd like to have a general idea of which ones I've done good in designing, etc. and which ones are complete rubbish. =3

Umm, I hope this doesn't sound too snooty or whatever. I <3 you alllllll.

NOTE: If it's characters from my story but they aren't mine, like Nachtbane or Kyro, I'll draw them too. But only because I <3 Akira-Illuser and Jonnypoke so much. ^_^

Umm, I'll be surprised if I get any sort of response for this. XD

Beso bo, my people, beso bo.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21509816/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21509816/ Sat, 15 Nov 2008 22:54:27 PST
Who's that? Whose face is over there? Do you see it? Look-- it's right in front of me. Whose voice is that I hear? Ohh, ohh that's /mine/? Hmm. It didn't sound like me. And man, that doesn't look like me. Really. Have you seen this person before? HEY MOM COME LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND. I THINK... I THINK IT'S HUMAN.

IdkmybffJill. |D

Anyway, not much today. Just still sick.

I want to draw something prettyyyyy. And delicate. Like porcelain, not a flower. And and gentle too. Pfft. So totally not Kit-like at all.

Bahhh. I wonder what it's like to be a seal?

Ohh, I've been playing the uberawesome WebEarthOnline. I like being a bluebird. 8B

Until my mate, Frosty, ditched me to raise five chicks alone. *shakes fist* GET BACK HERE FROSTY SO I CAN SHOW YOU WHAT MY FOOT TASTES LIKE. idknachos? See, I /knew/ I should have picked a different bluebird the second I let you in the nest I hand-- err beak built with my blood, sweat, and tears and you sat there. Doing nothing. While I flew around doing repairs and bringing you worms and beetles and things. And you sat there. SRSLY. KTHNXBAIJERK.

M'kay, since I'm inspired and completely bored at the mo, I'mma go draw. So I stop spamming you with my overtired sick pmsy self and yeah. Just yeah.

Nowait. I'm not tired. I'm awake. Reeeeeeally awake. Which means I'm either reaaaally lacking in the medicine department right now and should go take something for this whatever-I-have, or I am past the tired point and have entered the realm of reaaaally overtired. Which I doubt. |D

Teh srsly fo sho.

*dies*

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21467679/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21467679/ Thu, 13 Nov 2008 10:56:41 PST
Ohh, but upon re-reading several things, the memories of other things are popping up in my head. Like... those boys from my History class. Disturbing, completely non-proper subjects were discussed, but ohman, their body language toward each other was fascinating. Strange, almost alien and whatnot. They talk to each other differently than they talk to girls, as I'm positive girls do the same. Only... I always noticed the girls' body language differences. XDD

*shrugs*

Gahhh, I'm hungryyyyy but I don't want food, 'cause I know I'll probably throw it up. I think my sister brought some virus home with her, and purposefully gave it to me. Because she would totally do that. XD

I think... I've lost my Nickmuse. ;~; I think I'll work on trying to get him back again today.

Ohh, and the roleplaying will begin again soon. Verrry soon.

BAHAHAHAHA, my brother just pointed a punk (you know, those things you use to light fireworks) at me and yelled "EXPELLIARMUS!" That boy's going to be addicted like his big sis. XDDDD

Anyway, back to the roleplaying. The idea has got me excited and wanting to work on something again. I think I'll finally go put that LJ account to use and maybe vent out a little more there.

Hmm, it's early in the day, so I'll probably be updating this later because I always do.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21462981/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21462981/ Wed, 12 Nov 2008 23:43:14 PST
Then again, it doesn't feel like stress sickness, so maybe I'm wrong about being almost positive it's purely psychological? Maybe it's all coincidence? And besides, I don't get a fever when I'm stressed or it's all in my head... *shrugs*

I slept for about three hours before dinner, woke up, didn't feel the least bit hungry but forced myself to eat anyway... and my stomach growled while I did so. But it was like... Okay, maybe I'm a bit fever-ridden and delusional at the mo, but it was like I had... two stomachs? And the icky one was like glue smeared over the hungry growling one so that I didn't feel hungry but more yucky, but I knew I was hungry deeep down. So hungry, in fact, that I had two servings, and then had to sit for a while so I wouldn't barf it all up again. Pleasant. *makes a face*

Finally got around to making that LJ at 1:38 am. X3 I'm thinking of "letting" my characters "write" tidbits about what's going on with them because even though I'm not rping them at the moment, I still like to have things going on with them. Whatever. It makes me happier to keep them active like that, and satisfies the fickle muses, at least.

Still <3 The Rasmus. Yep. Listening to their songs all day now. XD

Dad's going on a business trip soon. That should be interesting, considering he'll be gone for 11 days.

Ohh, I just remembered I need to write Two Lockers and a Hallway for my Mariaaaaa. Maria, I love youuuu! XDD

How come my friends don't call me anymore? <_< <_< <_< <_<

Anyway. I miss y'all. /All/ y'all. And there goes my accent again that only comes out when I'm angry or not feeling well. XD (YES EVAN IN MAH WRITIN. D<

Ohgawd, let's hope I don't dream anything crazy tonight. Not after my /last/ dream when I was sick. *shudders*

Kk, I'mma go sleep or cry or barf or something. Idunno.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21446782/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21446782/ Tue, 11 Nov 2008 21:52:21 PST
Well, I'm back to reading Chronicles of the Pridelands for a THIRD time, because I'm that much of a nerd. Hey, I can't help it... I love The Lion King, but this is like.... Lion King All-Grown-Up. Lions being more lion-like than human compared to the childrens' film. Uzuri's my favorite character, besides Hawdy (Ahadi) and baby Cassie (Akase). =3 But then, I really like the take on Zira, and Sarabi when she's younger and her whole deal with Taka. Err, Scar. And Scar himself has much more depth than he did in the movie.

Maaaan, now I really want to go find and read Uzuri's Legacy, which is supposed to come after COTPL. D=
EDIT: Turns out Uzuri's Legacy was either never completed or never released. DDD=
EDIT II: Apparently, COTPL is now the name for those four parts I read, as well as a few other stories written by the same authors... The four parts are now called The Legacy of Ahadi. *shrugs*

*noms a mint creme Oreo*

Perhaps I should get back into rping more, like I used to. I felt that I /needed/ to keep on and stick to it, if not for the other players then for my characters. I just... don't feel that anymore with anything general and that I'm working on alone. I know I need to show more discipline, but I don't know how to convince myself to do it.

I've got a new character that I've been playing around with idea-wise... I think I might actually have a muse developing for this one. Omg.

And I <3 The Rasmus. Been addicted to them recently. I have their cd Hide From the Sun, but the only songs I ever really listened to were Shot, No Fear (<3333), Lucifer's Angel, and Open My Eyes. I tend to do that-- I get a cd and I listen to a few seconds of each song, then pick one or two that jump out at me and then listen to them until I learn them.... And I tend to neglect the rest of the songs until I want to hear something new a year later. I've recently really taken to Don't Let Go. I love the way it starts out. It just... gahh. Love. Seriously.

It's not just music, it's other sounds as well. And smells. Smells mostly, because for some reason I'm a smell-type person. And sometimes touch. It's like thunder, or a marching band playing not far away, or the chirp of a baby crocodile, or the whoop of a hyena, or the roar of a lion, or the sound of a cat landing on the floor after jumping from someplace high. It's mall pizza, or smoke, or the smell of the library books, or cigars, or that strange musky smell the Band Hall had, or aftershave, or a baby's clothes (minus the spit-up spots, mind you). It's the feel of the inside of the dryer door, or a dog's pawpads rubbed the wrong way, or grass against bare toes, or strings of a string instrument, or the feel of my brother's velvety baby blanket. It's so many things that strike me, that are so captivating and I can't get enough of. I drink them in, breathing through mouth and nose to taste the smells as well, or I touch the object to my face, or I listen so hard and block out all other sounds...

And more specifically on the marching band thing... I love it. I can't get enough of the rhythmic beat when they're all marching in unison, and the tapping of the snares and the heavy bass of the bass drums... It makes me feel... I don't know. It almost strikes something primal. It's one reason I miss band so much... I regret leaving it because I hated the assistant band director (but at the same time I don't regret it because I had to choose between it and art).

Hmm, I've been thinking on how much I loved Speech, and my Senior year in general. I guess I really ought to have lived by the motto for the year (dubbed by myself and my bestest best friend) "No regrets". But then again I really was more open and outgoing and I lived for myself, and man it was all worth it. *sighs dreamily*

*shrugs* Whatever. I'm a fool and always will be.

My mom's just spent a few hours looking at /silverware/ online. Whut. *blinkblinks*

On another note, I think I've developed an irrational fear of mice. They're so cute, and yet ohmahgod they can stay in their cages. AWAY from me. I think I'd own a rat, but not a mouse. It seems I'm afraid of small things, not necessarily big ones, like with little dogs. I guess it's because if something big, like a large dog, attacks me chances are I could just die. Quick (though not painless) and then there's no suffering afterward. With little ones, there's going to be more pain because those teeth are needle-sharp, and there's probably no dying involved, and you have to suffer through the pain. A lot. They're really quick, too, and there's less of a chance of hitting them in defense because they're so small. A poodle bit me once.

Hmm, then again, rats kinda scare me too. I blame traumatic experiences with rats when I was little. They were /huuuuge/. And one almost bit me. *... ]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21429991/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21429991/ Mon, 10 Nov 2008 22:13:44 PST If you get more than 20, you're paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you're fearless.
People who don't have any are liars."

I Fear…

[x] the dark (only when there's no light whatsoever or I'm somewhere other than my house)
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[x] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[x] closed spaces
[x] heights
[x] dogs (the little ones that move and bark and bite and are too small and quick to kick away properly D= )
[x] birds (only the psychotic ones that bite and fly at you)
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants

Total so far: 6

[ ] being touched
[x] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[x] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[x] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad (friends' parents in general)
[x] boyfriends/girlfriends mom (friends' parents in general)
[ ] rats
[x] jumping from high places (DDDD= )
[ ] snow

Total so far: 11

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[x] crossing hanging bridges
[x] death
[ ] heaven
[x] being robbed
[x] falling (from a high place, yes)
[ ] clowns
[x] dolls
[x] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[x] doctors, including dentists (ehh, their offices moreso)
[x] tornadoes

Total so far: 19

[ ] hurricanes
[ ] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[x] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[x] being alone (completely and forever, that is)
[ ] becoming blind
[ ] becoming deaf
[x] growing up

Total so far: 22

[x] creepy noises in the night (*is listening to them right now*)
[x] bee stings (and wasps *cries*)
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[x] needles (ohgod)
[ ] blood
[x] dinosaurs (that T-rex in Jurassic Park scared me to death when I was little. Been having dreams of them chasing me ever since.)
[ ] the welcome mat
[x] high speed (well, more the possible crash at the end)
[ ] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secrets

Final Total: 28 (Woah. I'm /really/ paranoid. D= )

Can we add a few more to these 28 fears of mine? XD How about...
*Mice (when they run at me and make lots of noise and mostly when I can't see them.)
*Seeing another mouse ripped apart by a cat (traumatizing, it is)
*Being eaten by a bear. (Dreams were once again the cause of this.)
*My old stuffed animals taking revenge on me for how terribly I treated them sometimes when I was little, like at the end of Toy Story (don't ask. D= )
*Suffocation/Drowning/Not being able to breathe
*Not being able to speak/scream when I'm in danger
*Crashing in an automobile accident (I think about it every time I step into a vehicle or every time someone drives too fast)
*Having a loved one die before their time (One reason I worry when people are late for something without telling me)
*The nightmares that /were/ all I dreamed about when I was little returning again
*The end of the world at the hands of someone that can't be stopped
*Being turned upon by a large group of people
*Being turned upon by someone I trust
*Never being able to create again
*Being abandoned both by real people and those I've created, my muses
*Waiting too long to tell someone I love them... again.
*Causing someone else's death
*Becoming old and decrepit and living only because a machine is keeping me alive

Umm... Yeah. *shuffles off*

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21403024/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21403024/ Sun, 09 Nov 2008 10:55:28 PST
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure there aren't a whole lot of hands going up in the crowd... XD

I'm back from house sitting.

Well, all in all I had a fun week. I find television (when educational channels are viewed, at least) is quite entertaining and inspirational. I filled a whole page in my sketchbook, which I /never/ do (*kicks tablet*), of cats. Not to mention I got to reading a book I now want to buy (even though I only got through it halfway) called The Nine Emotional Lives of Cats or something like that. Yeah. Can we tell where Animal Planet inspired me? XD

Ahh, well, I also got a stagnant muse working again, but I fear my other two have fallen silent. D= But hey, at least I can use this to take notes and such, or write, or roleplay, or whatever. And I think it might have to do with the name, heh heh, because I seemed to be on a cat kick as well as a Kat kick. Funny enough.

Bahh, anyway... I'm back. I haven't died. My grandmother just wanted me to stay an extra day so she could have a hand with the household chores. You know, cooking, sweeping, mopping, laundry... stuff...

We went to see the Beverly Hills Chihuahua movie. It's cuuuuute!

I'll probably (try to) scan my page later today or tomorrow. I think I have a new character. Possibly two. Yes. And they're cats. *purrs* And out of sheer boredom, I was watching a show on tigers and I can now chuff and actually sound the way they sound, or at least the way the cubs do. I'll add that to my array of strange animal noises I can now make, as well as hyena whoop (my personal favorite!), chicken cluck (ooh, yay. <_<, zebra... noise? (another I like), blue jay call, and squirrel alarm call. Or at least I /used/ to be able to do the squirrel alarm call when I was little. I freaked out some squirrels in a park with that one from, like, two hundred feet away. It made me giggle. I loved using the blue jay call on them as well-- it had the same general effect.

Ahaha, I'm such a weirdo.

The election here in the States happened the Tuesday I was gone. Hmm, not going to mention politics. That should say enough about my views.

EDIT BECAUSE I'M BORED AND LAME AND FELT LIKE ADDING MORE: Anyway, I'm excited. Because I found one of my ooooold, never-worn shirts my daddy bought for me. =3 It has a wolf on it, and even though it's like ten sizes too big for me, I'm still wearing it. It's like a tent. XDFGGHHH. Yeah, we were hoping I'd grow into it over time, so it got forgotten for a few years.... See how well /that/ turned out, ehh?

I like candy. Even though my baby brother got into my candy while I was gone, and then had to relinquish his own candy. He's so cute though that I can't be mad at him for a long time. *noms candehhh*

Ohh, I feel like drawing again. Yes. Because I've been inspired by, umm, Lord-knows-what. *shrugs* And my ear hurts (AGAIN GAHH) so I'm going to sit in the quiet of my room and draw. And maybe write. Something. Anything. Though I've got a few new ideas floating around in my head, so I may play with those for a while, then get to something productive.

*bouncesbounceshyperbounces*

I should never go away from dA for a week again. I'm watching 200+ people and my inbox is flooooooded. *dies*

Mah head hurts. D= Too much candy, I think, and too much Okami music blaring in the background. *headdesk*

Kk, seriously, I'mma go draw now or something. Peace.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21282931/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21282931/ Sun, 02 Nov 2008 12:16:04 PST
But the GOOD THING is that she has Animal Planet. And the Discovery Channel. My two greatest loves. Seriously. They were my main source of inspiration about a year ago, before our tv went out. XD

It's going to be bittersweet, really, because sure I have all this inspiring animal-related stuff right at my fingertips, but I can't visit here and I can't draw with my tablet... I might see if I can bring my sketchbook and a few pencils. In fact, I think I will.

Anyway, the worst part is my deviation notifications are going to pile up really bad seeing as I watch over 200 people. XD And then there's mah lovies whom I talk with over AIM. I shall miss you guys, and think of you often until I return. <333

And then there's the fact that I can't call my irl friends, my best friends, and I shall miss you as well.

*sighs* I think this will be good for me, though. Sure, I'll be doing housework and tending to the animals and cows and stuff, but I'll be basically cut off from everything in my life: my friends, the internet, and my family. It should provide me with some time to really focus solely on my characters and my art and writing as a whole, and in little bits and pieces.

Yes. So, I'll go into this thinking that it'll be a positive experience and that I /know/ I'll become inspired and motivated, and maybe because I am convinced that that's what's going to happen, it will happen. The mind is a powerful thing. It's psychology and all that good stuff.

Well, at least when I get back I'll have a million things to look at.

Ohh, and I did get candy this Halloween. My mom said she'd bring me some that's on sale today, too.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21255392/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21255392/ Fri, 31 Oct 2008 20:26:51 PDT You're gonna think of nothing, nothing but my touch...

Baha, just got that song stuck in mah head. Nothing more, really. Just stuuuuuck.

I finally got off my butt today, and since we only trick-or-treated for two hours, I was home pretty early tonight and, and, wait for it...

ZOMG I WORKED ON SOMETHING.

Yes. Shock and awe. Seriously.

I started a little fanfiction of sorts, composed entirely of my own OCs, with the occasional mention of canon characters and perhaps one or two things that happened IC, like in my roleplays. Only... I can't decide whether or not to have my twins fail a grade all because of Chase. Because they totally would. Despite the fact that they're in completely different houses. XDDD That way, it all still fits in the big blank spot I had between rping last summer and rping this summer.

YES I like my timelines to match up and make sense, so sue me! D<

Started on Halloween night, so I can remember. XD Yeah.

Anyway, as for tonight I didn't dress up. D= I wanted to, but the costume I scraped up wasn't hardly a costume, so instead I went as myself. The good thing was, though, I ran into Rebecca, who's like one of my best other friends (Umm, in the best friend hierarchy, right below Lauren and Jono, <3) and MARIAAAAAAAaaaaa <3333333. ZOMG, Maria did this cheesy "running through the fields of flowers toward each other with arms wide open" and TACKLED me. I almost fell over. Seriously. But Rebecca kidnapped me from my truck and so I walked around with her, her brother, and her sister's family while they went trick-or-treating. Before I left, though, I got lost. Because my mother doesn't understand the difference between left and right when I'm giving her directions to the street corner I'm standing on when she's only three blocks away. XDD

Mehh, enough babble from me. I need to go keep working on that fanfic. Which has no title. Hardly even a working title at the moment. Cookies to whoever can come up with something to call it. XD

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21246409/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21246409/ Fri, 31 Oct 2008 10:05:35 PDT , mah luff. <333

Put your itunes or ipod on shuffle and write down the song! No cheating! When you finish, Tag 5 people to go do this!

My name should be...
Who Knew? - Pink
(Yeaaah, sure.)

I think I am...
Tourniquet - Evanescence
("Too lost to be saved"? Well, mentally, maybe. XD)

My thoughts are generally about....
My Last Breath - Evanescence
(Actually, I do think about death in general a lot. Mostly just what it's going to be like when I do actually die, trying to see that it's not going to be so bad and there's nothing to worry about. *shrugs* It's certainly not 'ohgodi'mmakillmyself' or anything.)

Others see me as...
Night After Night (Out of the Shadows) - The Rasmus
(Umm...)

I dress like...
The Blues - Switchfoot
(Not quite. XD)

My favorite thing to say is...
We Are One - TLK:SP
(Hmm, sounds like something I'd say. It has a whole "peace and harmony" feel to it)

My room has...
Lucifer's Angel - The Rasmus
(O-o)

My screen name has to do with...
No Fear - The Rasmus
(XD)

I love to...
Crawling - Linkin Park
(I don't crawl...)

During the summer, I...
Imaginary - Evanescence
(Actually, that pretty much fits, considering my last two summers consisted of roleplaying. <3)

If I had a duck I would name her...
This Crazy Live - Joanna
(Whaa?)

My best friend is...
Zombie - The Cranberries
(Ohai, best buddeh. No brayns here, kthnxbai. XD)

When hanging out with my friends, we like to...
Sanctuary - KHII
(Go to our sanctuary?)

During Christmas, my family and I are...
Depressed - DHT
(XDDDD)

I think my mom is...
Prayin' for Daylight - Rascal Flatts
(Actually, I think she'd rather not and be able to sleep longer. XD)

But she thinks that I think she's the...
Someone - DHT
(I hope not in way the song is talking. O-o)

School makes me want to...
Deliver Me - Sarah Brightman
(BAWWW TAKE ME BAAAACK)

The only reason I go is to...
More Than a Memory - Garth Brooks
(YEHEHEHESSSS!)

My teachers look like...
Don't Speak - No Doubt
(Umm, if you say so.)

And they act like a...
Livin' La Vida Loca - Shrek II Soundtrack
(XDD)

But it doesn't bother me, because I'm going to say...
Beautiful Girl - Sean Kingston
(Ummmwhat? Song still cracks me up, tho. XDDD)

Homework can go suck a...
Then I Saw Your Face - Celine Dion
(I take it that first sentence stopped because I saw it? XD)

Math makes me want to...
Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's
(Write a song? Well, if it keeps me from having to do the math...)

For lunch, I eat...
Prayer - Celine Dion
(Nuuuu! I don' wanna faaast!)

I'm going to marry a...
Beautiful Mess - Diamond Rio
(D'awww...)

And have a kid. His/Her name will be...
Run - Snow Patrol
(...Run? Well, there's /Chase/, but he's not really my "kid"... XD)

And (s)he will look like my...
Rakuen (Paradise) - InuYasha
(Awww...)

I'll have a pet...
Remember Me - Josh Groban
(Aaaaalby... ;~

My house will be located at...
Forgiven - Within Temptation
(That makes no sense. XD)

Before I die, I want to...
If Everyone Cared - Nickelback
(Well, if everyone cared, I'd finish that sentence. XD)

My job will be....
Shameless - Garth Brooks
(Yeah!)

Which will suck, because...
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Garth Brooks
(. . . . What?)

On my gravestone, it will say...
A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton
(I have to walk that far? D

My favorite kind of music sounds like...
Nobody's Listening - Linkin Park
(XDDD)

All American Rejects remind me of...
A Narnian Lullaby - The Narnia Soundtrack
(Umm... not really. Actually, not at all.)

Sean Paul makes me want to...
Dreams - The Cranberries
(Who's Sean Paul?)

Without music, I would be...
Like a Boy - Ciara
(XD)

My favorite CD is played while I...
In the Arms of the Angels - Sarah McLachlan
(Aww, but that's a sad song.)

I dance like...
Brother, my Brother - Pokemon Movie 1 Soundtrack... ]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21239274/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21239274/ Thu, 30 Oct 2008 20:36:58 PDT
Well, I was going to dress up as a random Hogwarts student with mah best buddeh Lauren (mebbeh nawt othar best buddeh Jono? D just because we can, but it turns out she has to work on Halloween and the next day, and I have no money or costume. Uggh. I hate the economy.

So... I'm either not dressing up, or I can have fun with it (o_e) and say I'm either a muggle (which is basically still being myself, which isn't fun because I do that all the time) or I can say I'm a werewolf on any night but the full moon. Unless it actually is a full moon Halloween night, which is completely pointless. That or it makes it ironic.

Mehh, but that's just me trying to make it fun. My sister gets to work the Homecoming game our school is having, and she gets to dress up as a slice of pizza just to be funny... And I'm still stuck taking my brother trick-or-treating with my parents, except this year I don't get to dress up and I probably won't get any candy either, like last year.

*sigh*

Happy Halloween, ehh?

I was once again recruited (or rather, /drafted/) into doing "residuals" today for my aunt which is a fancy way of saying that I had to fold 300+ letters and put them all into envelopes, and then seal and stamp them all. Luckily, they have a sealing and stamping machine, but just folding and stuffing envelopes took from 10 this morning until 2 this afternoon, and I wound up eating lunch while still folding.

This gave me time to think, though, and I almost went back to drafting an idea of using the actual muses that are working for me (ha, the only ones that ever work anymore!). I can't decide the time to set whatever-I'm-writing in, because I want to make it still "legit" so that it fits in with the "story" I'm already creating through roleplaying...

But upon coming home and watching Journey to the Center of the Earth, I've now lost all my inspiration and ideas, and so I'm basically back to the blahh stage I was in yesterday and that I've been in for ages now. I think... I think REAL work might actually be good for me. Not only am I earning money, but I'm able to do something mindlessly and focus more on characters and whatnot.

So... I'm trying to set out the timeline in my head, and convince one of my characters in particular to cooperate as far as me writing something instead of roleplaying goes (though I'm not going to stop roleplaying, oh no <3). Bawwwww, I feel really dumb at the moment. That same character is, umm, resisting an idea I've been wanting to work with, if even to make it unofficial. Which would be best... but I want to doooo iiiiit, and still they all resist! D<

As for the rest of my life, I'm once again back to doing college things, or rather trying to get in and preparing. Uggh, let's hope things work out, ehh? But... I think my searching is finally paying off, as far as hmm things I've been searching about myself for years and years now. I'm more happy and complete than ever, which I guess is good. Breen is now strictly a character, but I still <3 her overall. I might still use her as a visual representation of myself, or as a half-way between the character and myself or something similar.

I almost bought a KitKat bar today, but it got me laughing too much (yes I'm a nerd stuff it). And by then my dad was already walking out of the store, which meant that if I didn't go with him /right then/ I'd have been left to walk forty miles back home. XD

I've been thinking still about everyone I miss, even those I hated at school (ha, which was like two people; I generally got along with most people passively, except for most of the Freshman class when I was a Junior. Gahh, I could still ring all their little necks <_< ). Anyway, I miss my friends, and I miss my teachers, and I even miss the classwork, but I think most of all I miss my cat. I came across old pictures of him still on our digital camera and... *sigh* Still a really touchy subject when I'm not blocking irl, but I want to do something in honor of him. I think I'mma make my next avatar of him, and if that's not enough I'll base a character off of him because he had such a personality. I still love you, Alby, mah baby fluffbucket. <333

Well, have a happy Halloween, or if you don't celebrate it then have a good night! =3

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21216819/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21216819/ Wed, 29 Oct 2008 13:00:21 PDT
I've tried exercises for art block and all that did was get rid of my art block. This is a step above art block, I think, and is more stick-with-it-block. I can come up with plenty of ideas, but it's the actual getting past the first couple of mock-chapters that I'm really having trouble with.

DOES ANYONE KNOW OF ANY ESSAYS OR TUTORIALS I CAN READ? I've pretty much soaked up all the ones on Elfwood like a sponge already.

Nothing ever seems to get past the Idea stage. Like, I made a character the other day and came up with plenty of stuff about the character, but I just don't "feel" the character. There's no "voice" there, and so I stopped any thought of writing about or roleplaying this character.

As I've stated many times before, I have my Three (Nick, Chase, Kat) and my Other Three (Moonsong, Imaus, Kai) that are my main muses. Only for the past two years or so, the time in which I fully developed my Three muse voices, I've heard nothing in the way of inspiration from my Other Three. Which is a problem. They're not as loud, not as insisting, not as caring about whether I write them or not, and as it is, Kai is currently going through a MAJOR revamp, or at least should be going through one if I can ever get the inspiration to do so.

So all in all, I need inspiration. I'd love to talk things over with someone, maybe exchange ideas or talk about a specific character or whatever. That usually inspires me, but as it is all my friends are busy or don't talk as much any more or I feel I'm bothering them if I bring anything up. And my family, well, they're not so imaginationally-enclined. My mother created the basis of a story from a dream she had, but that's as far as she got. *shrugs* Sounds like me most of the time, but she doesn't seem to want to continue with that at all, so...

HALP.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21146200/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21146200/ Sat, 25 Oct 2008 19:56:48 PDT "Protection Stub has stopped working.
(view details)
Problem Event Name: APPCRASH
Application Name: insF882.tmp (or some other .tmp file)
(etc etc etc)"

I /am/ working in Vista, but the Zookeeper Collection is compatible with Vista. It worked on my laptop for about three months, then it completely stopped working and said THAT. Even while trying to reinstall, it says that some temp file is being used by another program and cannot be created upon uninstalling. I found the ZT 2 process under Processes in my Task Manager (ctrl+alt+delete, sillies) and ended it, and then ended the temp file process under Processes, and then tried uninstalling... uninstalling it worked fine, but now after I install again and try to play it, a different temp folder pops up under Processes and messes with the Protection Stub. Basically, I can't figure out what's going on.

The thing is, though, I thought maybe it was my disks or the fact that I was using Vista something so I tried installing it on my mother's Vista-using laptop.... And had no problems. I was able to install the game completely and play it.

I've been looking everything I can up online, but I think I'm just going to have to call the customer support number on the back of the box. UGGH.

EDIT: I GOT IT FIGURED OUT. Apparently, I wasn't smart enough to think to search for "Protection Stub" instead of "APPCRASH". Mom searched for Protection Stub on Google and found a solution almost immediately. Apparently, it's common on laptops with Vista, this problem I was having, and all I had to do was change some DES setting in my Control Panel or something like that.

]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21133763/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21133763/ Thu, 23 Oct 2008 23:21:18 PDT
This is probably going to be short (though undoubtedly could be much longer than I anticipate initially), as I am essentially teething and in much physical pain at the moment; my wisdom tooth is coming in wayyyyy in the back, making my ear hurt as well. Coincidentally, perhaps, because it's on my left side, the side where my ear has been hurting on and off for quite some time.

I realize that I am not typing as I usually do, and I believe this to be partially due to the fact that I have been reading more lately, and that I'm slightly out of it due to the pain. My thinking isn't even really proper as I deem "proper" is, and by "proper" I mean "normal for me". Obviously.

Nevertheless, as I continue to type in this fashion (whatever that fashion can be classified as), I can't shake the unbearable urge to gnaw on something. I have decided I HATE TEETH. I hate growing them. I hate losing them. I hate growing pains as well, but thank goodness I am no longer a small child and can go without feeling them, at least as far as anything besides my teeth goes.

I have been thinking more and more on my story today. The themes have changed, and are still ever-changing as I myself grow in my knowledge of the world. Despite this, however, I still feel this powerful love of it, and a great loathing as well. I write my characters and I feel this overwhelming love for them still. I know they're devoted, as I should be to them... And yet, I despise them and everything about them as well as the world I have created and the very act of writing (or rather, typing). I cannot explain it, really, but all in all the loathing is trying to outweigh the loving, and I have several times considered scrapping the whole project altogether. After all, who am I to think I can write? I have come a long way from the small nine year old, wishing to become a writer one day, and despite this I have a long way yet.

There are times, though, that I step back and look at myself and where I stand in what I am good at, writing and drawing, and like any other human being I compare myself to those my age, and discover that out of the ordinary, I'm not bad. But out of those that do it all the time and live it, love it, breathe it, sleep it, dream it, I am hardly anything worth noting.

The vast majority of my life has been devoted to three things: an education, art, and writing. Now, as college has become far too expensive even with government help, education is at a standstill. Sadly enough, I find myself listening to the essays my friends get in college, or to my sister's homework assignments and I long for that essay, that homework assignment, and some sort of inspiration in the form of, well, anything. I want someone to step forward and say to me, "No, you've got to do THIS assignment, work on THIS project you've been working at for five years and actually GET IT DONE." But not only that... anyone can do that... I want someone who is actually going to work through it with me, and be my strength when I feel I cannot continue.

But then, isn't that what we're all looking for in life? That support, that push, that urging and help?

Which brings me to the next thing my life has been devoted to: art. Throughout school, I yearned for the guidance my teachers gave me, and yet still had this rebellious push to pull away and resist at every point I could, just to prove that I could take what I had learned from them and use it in a way different from the way I was shown it was to be applied. Like using the method my grandmother showed me to beat dough into a log with only my hands to make a bread loaf for the bread maker, and applying it in the classroom to create a ball of clay for molding. I, of course, received strange looks for this and was scolded on many an occasion for not using the techniques taught me in that classroom where it was supposed to be used... Nevertheless, I have been devoted to myself more than the act of merely creating work. Where no boss steps forward to tell me what to make or what not to make, I fill the position in myself and often have a very /very/ lenient approach to it. I have been growing more and more in my art all my life. Fairly recently I discovered that I have grown in my ability to draw in the traditional method, just pencil-and-paper, from when I was doing art and such in school. However, I still look back and long for that guidance of my art teacher, and that friend I felt I had in him. That eye that was both supportive and critical when I needed it most. Now that I lack such an eye from anyone, I have become really lax and when I look at the art my peers, those of my age and those who have been working on art as long as I have, are producing, I am gravely discouraged. I feel I can do better than I do, and every time I try it winds up a disaster, or I keep creating the same product I always do-- which h... ]]> ~Kittyfritters http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21116647/ http://Kittyfritters.deviantart.com/journal/21116647/ Wed, 22 Oct 2008 19:33:40 PDT
I've only seen Season Five, but it really got me laughing. Plus, there was a LOST reference. YAAAAaaaaay! And I /loved/ how Caboose saw everyone: Donut, and Sarge, and Sister-- that was hilarious. And Sheila scares me. O-o

Anyway, since my head is currently filled with that and stuff, I'm not sure how much art I'll be getting done. *shrugs* Wow, the things I wouldn't have been exposed to without my two best friends. XD

Haha, and if Lauren ever GETS OFF HER BUTT AND COMES TO DA ANYMORE GRRRRIRONY, she would recognize the title not only as a quote, but as a slight inside joke. I am laughing on the inside at it.

It reminds me of my own fake alien baby, really, Whom I /think/ I named Kinyee after its fake and completely mistaken... otherparent?, but that was a long time ago, which makes me think I'm probably forgetting a LOT of what went on in that conversation which doesn't really matter because hardly anyone will get it anyway. Yeah, so perhaps it's best not to ask. (*sighs* Yep, those were the good ol' days... *snugglesawh*)

So overall, this journal was pretty pointless, and you probably wasted your time reading it. XDD


MAN I talk about the most random stuff on here!

(I need to get a LiveJournal and stop spamming everyone here. <3)

]]> ~Kittyfritters