http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Koloblican11763&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Koloblican11763 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 22:21:07 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25994997/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25994997/ Thu, 16 Jul 2009 21:33:54 PDT
]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25934249/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25934249/ Tue, 14 Jul 2009 03:15:52 PDT
As soon as I brought that first load of boxes in...no, as soon as I opened the door and smelled fresh paint, I had nothing but a smile on my face for the rest of the day. I couldn't believe it. It felt too easy. It felt like a lie, like nothing would be true if I blinked. But I did blink, and a blinked again, and continued blinking until I drilled it into my brain that this is real, that I have my own place, to take care of, to love and cherish, to take a little pride in. I have a place where I can write. Where I can sing. Where I can walk around naked, haha. YES it is MY PLACE.

I feel so tired, but I don't want to sleep. I want to just stay up and stare at my home, at my mini fridge, at my range, at my bathroom, at my heating element, at my swamp cooler. I HAVE MY OWN SWAMP COOLER!

For the first time in a long time I feel comfortable. I feel like I can actually stand to live here. I feel like the world feels good. Like my life is moving in that direction I want it to go. I am on my way.

Home. Yes. That is what this is.

It is home...

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25892662/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25892662/ Sun, 12 Jul 2009 04:38:28 PDT
But I suppose this will help me in the long run. Being a little worried about having money will probably make me work a little harder then I normally would, and therefore let me keep my job longer. Who knows, I might be able to get a raise.

It's just so nerve racking. I mean I am going to be living by myself. I wont have anyone to say hi to when I come home. No one to chill with. Yeah, I'll admit, I fucking HATE having people in my house all the damn time, but when there's one dude just chillin' on the computer when I come home and they are actually interested in how my day was...yeah it's a nice feeling.

Honestly I am used to being alone, though. When I lived with my parents I barely talked to them, and the only reason I had a lot of contact with my brother when I lived with him is because he was a twat most of the time and made me talk to him about stupid shit. Then after I moved away from him I moved in with Charles my old boss and NEVER talked to him. I had fun playing xbox and all that at that time, and I figured out I could make time for other people if I wanted to.

I dunno, I was just never one of those guys that goes searching for a party or someone to hang out with. I just enjoy taking it when I can get it.

I really would love a girlfriend though. There is nothing like a women.

So that is pretty much whats on my mind right now. It's been tough the past year. It's been interesting as well. You kind of figure things out a lot better when you are supporting yourself. Who your real friends are. Who really cares. Good to have some closure in some of those matters. But then again that closure leaves a sort of empty space. Its weird.

One day I will be on my own with a nice house. Back yard and everything. Maybe have a couple kids with a beautiful women. One day.

"People say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one..."

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25877271/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25877271/ Sat, 11 Jul 2009 10:01:51 PDT . Yesterday I hung out with those friends all day, went to this place called Archies and had a peanut butter hamburger (suprisingley more tasty then you might think), bought Guitar Hero 2 (it's the best one) and went to an arcade for a little bit and got shot down by like three girls (fucking women, lol).

A former love came back into my life in the last week. It was an interesting experience. She is happily in love with another guy right now, which sucks for me, but as long as she is well I really don't mind. *I just spilt Dr. Pepper Cheery on my lime green shirt, fuck me*

Today I am working in the morning and going out with my family to eat tonight to celebrate my birthday. About two days late, but we were all really busy, so I don't mind. We are going to go out to this mexcican restaurant, mmmm, barrito.

I am moving out on the 13th on monday, gunna be an interesting time as I have not packed anything cause I have no boxes, haha. But life will be worked out well. I'm not going to have power for the first couple of days haha, damn it NV Energy being closed on weekends.
Well, I should probably get back to work. Oh wait, I have no work right now. AWESOME. Time to sit and listen to Modest Mouse.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25745933/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25745933/ Sun, 05 Jul 2009 01:47:37 PDT
Zen.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25426709/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25426709/ Sat, 20 Jun 2009 00:41:45 PDT
]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25364107/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25364107/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 00:26:25 PDT
Hopefully the new place will be better.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25283133/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25283133/ Fri, 12 Jun 2009 23:45:54 PDT
]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25247786/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/25247786/ Thu, 11 Jun 2009 03:52:27 PDT
]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/24839531/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/24839531/ Tue, 19 May 2009 13:15:22 PDT
I, personally, don't understand the naming of this occurrence. When a man is angry, he should have the right to show it. Obviously, in this particular instance it is more of a stacking effect, where he gets more and more angry until he can't hold it like a normal person. But is he wrong to want to express himself. Yes, it is wrong to hit others. Even yelling in some instances is very inappropriate. But the point is that he actually ex presses himself when he does this.

Isn't that what everyone wants? To be able to just express that primal being. To shout and throw a punch at the one who has wrong you. I mean, obviously for a normal person there are normal reasons for these feelings, so, it would be normal if he decided to strike or argue with the other person. The other has obviously wronged the first, so why would he not be able to reasonably reflect his anger at the other person without consequence. If someone calls you an asshole, you can call them an asshole back. If someone punches you, you should be able to punch them back. If someone cheats with your wife, you should be able to beat the shit out of them. Doesn't that make sense?

I mean think of it logically. Logically, we all have these feelings. Logically it is our choice to repress them or not. Therefore logically, if we think we have been wrong enough to where we could not hold back these responses how are we not justified to that response?

I remember in the school yard years ago in elementary school, the playground attendants used to tell you if someone tried fighting you, you should run and find an aid. How does that make sense? People have a sense of honor for a reason. People have a sense of dignity and justice for a reason. If a child is seeking attention by starting a fight he should learn that starting a fight is the wrong way to go about getting attention because he will get his ass kicked if he does, and that hurts. I know if I was trying to get someones attention, or to get respect I would prove to them that I am more intelligent then them, rather then throwing a fist, but that's because I learned when I was young that I could get my ass kicked if I just go around willy nilly throwing my fists in the air to anyone I meet. Don't get me wrong, I can hold my own in a fight, but I would rather talk shit out then get a bloody mouth and knock someone out.

See, I suppose the point I am trying to make is that even though logic should always be brought to the for front first, one should be willing and socially allowed to fight if there be need enough. I mean, when a guy is swinging a lead pipe at your head, are you going to try and talk him down? Society says yes, but your mind says 'fuck this guy he's as good as dead,' which actually makes sense. Inversely if the person is just calling you a dick, then call him a dick to and be on your way. And if the argument escalates because the guy can't take what he's giving you should be able to show him why he shouldn't dish out what he can't eat himself. It only makes sense. In my opinion...

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/24069460/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/24069460/ Sun, 05 Apr 2009 05:08:52 PDT
It feels like I am running in place. I want to GO. I want to leave. I want to slay a dragon, or have some sex, or kill a politician. I want to drink till I black out. I want to meditate in the Dragonbacks of China. I want to train in the Aikido dojos of Japan, and learn how to forge a katana. I want to be a millionaire. I want to be poor. I want to live at the edge, and die with nowhere to go. I want to be sure, I want to move. Just let me leave. Let me be knee deep in cow shit, and head high in happiness. let me wrangle some sheep, or kill a rattle snake with my bare hands. I want to explode. I want to cool down. I want to read all my favorite books and than read all of the others. I want to attend a book release party and hate the cocktails. Let me be regal, let me be tattered and disordered. Let me dive with the whales and eat turtle soup. Let me train a hawk, and release it into the wild. Let me bath with tigers and dine with antelope. Let me shout at the Hibernian's, and say "FUCK THE HEARTS." I just want to swim in the iron sea. Puke into a volcano. Eat some Mahi Mahi. Jump off a bridge. I wanna swim with the dolphins and wrestle a shark. I want to explore an ancient catacomb and discover a new artifact. I want to compose a song that everyone loves, than sell out like all the others. I want to SING. I want to learn to dance in every corner of the world. I want to share my beliefs with a religious figure head. I want to discuss string theory with Stephen Hawking. I want to get shot and die of shock. I want to get cut and bleed till I stop. I want to LIVE. GOD DAMN IT I WANT TO LIVE!

Just LET ME.

Fuck government. Fuck the right of the people. It's about me now. ME. I'm too god damn selfless. Why can't I be selfish?

*Bang*
Ideas shot out of a handgun like a bullet set course to penetrate the inner ear and explode in the hypothalamus. React. Medulla Oblongata.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/24044491/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/24044491/ Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:56:58 PDT
]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/23263971/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/23263971/ Wed, 18 Feb 2009 00:51:10 PST
But first comes education.

THE PLAN is about the education of people, to help them understand the benefits of a united and free world that is not controlled by money or people, but by logic and community.

We do not believe in socialism, nor communism, or democracy. We believe in the ideal that all people, no matter what background or wealth they my or may not have accrued, are all one through their symbiotic relationship with the world and its many facets of life.

Without education, we cannot hope to create this new society, therefore, without THE PLAN, we cannot hope to succeed in forming a better world.

So it all starts here.

Do you have any questions?

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/23184464/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/23184464/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 22:28:06 PST
It makes me think about when I left my home town to come here, to Reno. I left all of my friends behind. My life as I knew it was going to change, and it did. I have become a very different person. More bitter, yes. But also...

It's been a long time since I have stepped foot in San Jose. I miss it so. I still talk to my friends frequently, after so many years. But things really can't return to normal. We have gone our separate ways and chosen different paths, as we all knew we would. I just miss the old times. Hanging out in Sean's basement. Playing Melee with Kyle. Lying awake whispering philosophies with Josh into the bitter watches of the night and further until sunrise.

Those were good times.

I guess I cannot say that I have not had my share of fun in Reno. Here and there people were decent to hang around with, and sometimes this place can be more than the sum of it's washed out pubs and acrid casinos. Sometimes even the most dreary of locals can be somewhat hospitable.

I have meet some interesting people. No one has been so loyal to/as treasured by me as my old friends, but many of them are important and wonderful in there own way.

As the movie makes abundantly clear, there is still good, even in the darkest of places. Even on the coldest of nights warmth can be found. Even in the most desperate of hours hope can be found.

And so it is with me also.

Cheers mates.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/23114030/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/23114030/ Tue, 10 Feb 2009 02:18:18 PST
Not really the lack of information on their part, we can't all know everything, including me.

Nor the fact that they thought that I HAD to win, I just like arguing.

No, the fact that people I play with all the time, I share my thoughts with on a near daily basis, and let into my mind would ever assume, ever, that I would sacrifice one of my opinions because of "peer pressure."

That really bothered me. A lot.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/23030009/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/23030009/ Thu, 05 Feb 2009 20:54:29 PST Getting annoyed
and being shit on

FUCK YES LIFE IS AWESOME!!!

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/22426529/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/22426529/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 01:48:59 PST
Yeah, no hair now.

Bought a Music Theory book and a Music Composition book. Gunna start learning more and more. Been reading it already and I feel like I'm starting to get someone with my Music Conduction dream. Feels great.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/22270503/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/22270503/ Mon, 29 Dec 2008 22:51:23 PST People

Nuf said.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21874581/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21874581/ Sun, 07 Dec 2008 23:39:42 PST
Whenever I watch Fight Club this happens. And now I just watched Donnie Darko and had it again, just much worse.

It makes me feel like I am going to die.

edit: I forgot to mention that the feeling is euphoric.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21841340/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21841340/ Sat, 06 Dec 2008 02:02:32 PST
]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21840774/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21840774/ Sat, 06 Dec 2008 00:29:43 PST Friends are cool
Everything is pretty nice

But I still find myself just surfing the internet over and over again in countless circles. Facebook, Myspace, Deviant Art, Pandora, Allisbrawl, Gmail. It's like I'm waiting for something to happen.

Fuck, what am I doing with my life? I have everything and nothing. I am useless and yet, I feel like some greater purpose is ahead of me.

God damn it. If it were only as easy as slashing a sword, or shooting a gun. If life were as easy as revenge...

damn it.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21723647/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21723647/ Sat, 29 Nov 2008 00:17:13 PST
]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21655844/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21655844/ Mon, 24 Nov 2008 21:29:10 PST
Spasms of emotion aren't becoming of me.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21270135/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21270135/ Sat, 01 Nov 2008 18:05:09 PDT
Fucking hardcore, right?

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21241213/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/21241213/ Fri, 31 Oct 2008 00:25:53 PDT
I haven't. I wonder how that can happen, lol, seems kinda stupid.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20681593/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20681593/ Fri, 26 Sep 2008 06:30:19 PDT



hehe.....I needed that.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20577588/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20577588/ Sat, 20 Sep 2008 00:17:56 PDT
And guess what? All I do is sit around and sell people video games, and when I'm not selling video,games I'm talking about video games, and when I'm not talking I'm PLAYING video games. Oh fuck yeah, this job rules. Oh, and I'm getting commission. My life rules so hard right now.

And also I get free video game rentals, and free movie rentals from Hollywood video WHENEVER I want.

So yeah, once again, God loves me.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20438266/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20438266/ Thu, 11 Sep 2008 12:38:36 PDT
LETS DO THIS!

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20428081/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20428081/ Wed, 10 Sep 2008 18:19:33 PDT
]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20365128/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20365128/ Sat, 06 Sep 2008 21:08:23 PDT
I really never knew how empty it could make me feel. Love is an essential part of my life and I have none for anyone.

I love giving it, even more then I love receiving it, and its not there. Only a void exists where my childish and impossible infatuations existed. As much as they were...they still made me feel something.

Oh well.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20313281/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20313281/ Wed, 03 Sep 2008 18:20:31 PDT
and to die...

Funny combination, ya?

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20297119/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20297119/ Tue, 02 Sep 2008 19:15:11 PDT
Evangelicals are wrong in their way of converting people. Yes we can fear hell and love our bond with our Lord God more because of it, but we must except Christ because he is just and true, and because we truly believe he knows the way and died for our sins in order to save our souls, not only from eternal damnation, but from the evils of mortality as well.

Quote me.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20211394/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/20211394/ Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:19:01 PDT
The problem that I am having, though, is that the six dollars is extremely important, not to me, mind you, but to everyone else, especially in my quest for greater intellectual stimulation. To learn, I must multiply that tender by an exorbitant amount, almost ridiculous really. And to have social relationships with women and friends I must have money to interact with the places and things they like to be a part of, or to introduce them to the things I enjoy.

One further piece to this particular problem is the economical flux that has happened over the last two years that makes it near impossible for me to achieve financial, and thus intellectual, stimulation. See in order to make money you must have a trade or be a part of the work force on a near daily basis. Although my attempts to accomplish this particular goal have indeed been gallant and earnest, I still have not achieved success in finding suitable and stable employment for myself.

And on top of it all I must pay this excruciatingly devastating thing called rent...

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19969347/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19969347/ Fri, 15 Aug 2008 11:45:45 PDT
But I'll be right there with you, no matter how hard it is for me. So keep going. And I got your back.

Tah

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19921042/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19921042/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 17:58:21 PDT
yeah...

Cheers

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19909869/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19909869/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 05:04:11 PDT
]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19837221/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19837221/ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 23:59:39 PDT
I wanted to be excited, I wanted to be proud of myself and the life I have chosen, but right now I fear that my world has come to a sudden stop, and I have nothing to pay the fine at this toll booth.

There is something that is stopping me from love. I can not seem to feel anything but shame and sorrowful agony whenever I think of family, friends, or women for that matter. I feel like I am useless to them all. I feel like I am pitiful. I don't want to be, I never wanted to be, but I am now.

One day I suppose these dark clouds will stop spilling over into my neighborhood and bother someone else for a time, but while they are here my normal love of the rain is starting to bend and contort into sadness and depression. What am I to do?

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19613497/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19613497/ Sat, 26 Jul 2008 20:40:43 PDT
[link]

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19435477/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19435477/ Wed, 16 Jul 2008 20:47:25 PDT
About to get 5k page-views. eh. Not like I have much to show for it. But thanks anyway to anyone who has watched me (people who I likely know in RL, lol).

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19302774/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/19302774/ Thu, 10 Jul 2008 01:03:22 PDT
[link]

Yeah, so get back to me on it.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18901396/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18901396/ Tue, 17 Jun 2008 21:23:24 PDT
]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18748663/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18748663/ Mon, 09 Jun 2008 12:49:58 PDT
Hope to talk to y'all later .

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18713314/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18713314/ Sat, 07 Jun 2008 11:50:19 PDT
Yeah...

We'll talk to you all later

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18636822/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18636822/ Mon, 02 Jun 2008 23:06:40 PDT
I have put up over a hundred deviations and I have less then 250 comments AND MOST OF THOSE WERE ME!

I mean, I try and write as best I can. I take photos of what I think is good looking, and people FAVORITE it, but they can't even post one goddamn word of what they like about the fucking piece.

I comment as much as I can on other peoples work. I am watching close to 40 people and I try my best to comment on their pieces competently, and to give advice one what they could do. I write paragraphs. Still, I get nothing.

I would say fuck this site and leave, but I like the interface, I enjoy commenting on other peoples work, and I like having a free hard drive that stores all my art no matter what computer I am on. But seriously, can't I get like 1 comment NOT from my best friend in San Jose, not from a girlfriend, and not from me BEGGING a person to comment.

Fuck it, wtv. I guess its a moot point.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18552112/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18552112/ Wed, 28 May 2008 22:07:15 PDT
I hope to be shooting some cool stuff, maybe even a poem or two in the future.

TTYL all.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18412798/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18412798/ Tue, 20 May 2008 10:04:18 PDT
I really love my bro...he knows I can be a douche sometimes, but he also knows that I always have my heart in the right place.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18220213/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18220213/ Wed, 07 May 2008 23:45:26 PDT
So I was listening to The Awakening, and we were right at the climax of the song about to cut off. I see Dr. Torkelsons hand raise to end the song, and then the earthquake happened, and as his hand fell to his side the earthquake stopped.

The last line of the song was "Let Music Live."

I dunno, just seemed...inspirational, and spiritual, like God was speaking to me through my own experience. Like it was a sign. It was a good feeling.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18094155/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/18094155/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 22:03:09 PDT
Have any of you ever been to the Redwoods? It's the most wonderful thing in the world. Walking barefoot through the undergrowth, smelling the dampness of the wood. Touching the leaves of a small furn, stunted because it could not fight for light as the Goliaths grow ever higher, reaching towards the heavens, determined. Have you felt their bark, as soft as fur and as sweet smelling as any candle or cologne.

You know whats the best, the smell of damp earth after it rains. It's indescribable. I swear, if God ever existed in a place then it is in the Redwoods. He is encased in the tress, and shrubs, the banana slugs, and the small animals. Each breath in such a place is like breathing in the purity of the earth. If I could only run through it again. Its been too long.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/17772032/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/17772032/ Wed, 09 Apr 2008 22:01:42 PDT
Maybe it is God telling me I need to develop a greater respect for sex, and women in general. I really don't know where all these things came up. Truly, I am the last person to say that sex is bad let alone to tell another to give it up. In fact I believe that sex is the most natural part of ones life, and should be explored delicately. But I just feel...I don't know, like it isn't my place in this world, like I am not destined to be one of those men that are obsessed with sex.

I enjoy it. I love it really. But I think my life has been turned around. I think I am supposed to take this path, and enjoy it. Maybe this is just the thought of some young man who has just quited a sexual relationship and wants an excuse to not have sex. I really don't know...

Well, whatever it is I have decided it seems right, and it seems good. I have decided for the first time in years that my life is wonderful, and that I am truly happy. Yes. I am happy. The words are odd coming from the mind that has only focused on the happiness of others for so long. For once, its about me. It's about what I want, and what I care about.

I'm the Prince in the play Cinderella. I am one of the top Basses in the State of Nevada at high school level, and get to go to Vegas for the first time to attend All-State. My life is good.

I am happy. ha. I'm happy...wow....

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/17449889/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/17449889/ Fri, 21 Mar 2008 21:24:36 PDT
Well, thats pretty much it.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/16777562/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/16777562/ Thu, 07 Feb 2008 22:01:16 PST
I haven't been doing much on Dev Art cause I have been busy with school, choir and I just haven't been motivated in my pursuit of art and poetry. It makes me sad, but I just haven't captured that muse so I guess I'm just waiting for the right time to come back and do soemhting crazy and artistic and pretty. Wtv. It'll come to me

For any of you who actually read this, thanks.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/14893234/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/14893234/ Wed, 03 Oct 2007 00:26:18 PDT
As I type this to you I wonder. I wonder why. You know? Why are we friends, what makes you want to know me, why do I want to know you? What makes it worth it make up after we are pissed at each other? I don’t know, but I’m glad its you I can make up with.

I sit here listening to some music, Death Cab, and I just wondered, what would you say? I mean, it just seems odd that we are friends. Not odd as in bad, just odd. I have known many people through my life. But you and all the others I have sent this to are somewhat special, somehow I know you where important in some way.

My friend it has been a long time since we have talked in earnest. I have not heard your voice un tainted by a thousand others. I have no seen your face unclouded by a million shadows. I have not spoken with you as a friend. I feel like I must now, like its important now. For some reason it just seems like the right thing to do.

I love you my friend. I have since I meet you. And not in any creepy way, just, I think you are a good person, and I love good people. When I go to sleep at night your are one of the many that keeps away the nightmares. You my friend are one of my pillars. You are a stone that I may stand on atop quicksand in the desert. You are my friend, and my home, and my life, and I devote myself wholly to you if you wish it. My love is not homosexual if you are a man or attraction if you are a woman, but truth and acceptance for you. Today and from now on my life is forfeit to your will. I give myself to help you, to teach you, to hold you in high regard. And I know that if you received this message from me that you will not abuse your power over me, that you will not take me for a fool or a dullard.

I have known you for a long time. I have known you through trials a tribulations. Unfortunately, I know I have not always tried my best to try and help you. I apologize for this, and I hope that I may make it up now, while I still can.

What is the point of knowing you? I don’t know, but since I have known you this long I might as well help you. I might as well do more. I might as well surrender to your will. Do not abuse me my friend. Please, do not.

Tim

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/14249624/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/14249624/ Mon, 20 Aug 2007 02:49:24 PDT
I'm getting irritated. It seems that fewer and fewer people believe in the power of the written word. It fascinates and annoys me. I mean, I understand photography and the beauty of it but if you are a photographer you arn't really the artist, your the one who is looking in on an artisits design and taking a photo of it. Though the artist may be unnamed that does not mean it is yours, it just means that humanity can't decide on whether theres a god or not (haha).

I believe that the written word is much more beautiful then that. It can help and hurt, soothing those who need comfort, or bringing hellfire to one who needs a good talking to.

With the written word it is easier to make a thought. Instead of having to say "Think before you talk" writing automatically gives you a nice time for re-thought and review.

Also, writing allows for opinion and deviation. Though pictures are worth a thousand words, writing is worth millions. Do you know why? Because a picture is a picture, its a mouse, or a leaf, or a beautiful sunset, while writing can be all those things and more. When you read something you feel the writers soul and their inner self.

I believe the culprit for the sad treatment of writing lately is the internet. Not that the internet is purposely trying to ruin writing and to take it over as a medium, dearie no. But it does introduce so many written things into your life that would have just been said, or been ignored, or unsaid as opposed to written and handed out. We have become numb to the effects of writing because of the normal forum posts of "ZOMG thats crzy." Not that they are bad just that they have had a negative effect on the way most people view a written statement.

All in all writing is by far the best form of expression. You do not need a special talent to write. You do not need to have a wonderful thought process, or a beautiful picture in your head, you just need practice and patience. Because once you get done with drawing, once you get done with taking that wonderful photograph, once you are finished with your fractal imaging and 3-D design, to get it out to everyone you must know how to write.

So please, give writing a chance again. Let it come back to you like an old friend. Read that busted up book that you claim to love but haven't touched for years. Read a poem by Robert Frost or a play by Shakespeare, you may find that writing is something you want to be a part of.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/14218569/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/14218569/ Fri, 17 Aug 2007 22:29:21 PDT .>.

I have figured it out between me and the person. We are happy with our decision. I hope to be speaking with them for a long time and for them to get to know my girlfriend and be happy with her.

For a long time I have been wondering how it would be if I meet this person again, and it was much the same as what I thought. But it ended up different, which I think is good thing.

Well I'm making no sense, wtv. Talk to you all later.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/14160290/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/14160290/ Tue, 14 Aug 2007 05:45:41 PDT
]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/13682147/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/13682147/ Tue, 10 Jul 2007 09:35:25 PDT
Too much crying...

'nuff said.

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/13335826/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/13335826/ Wed, 13 Jun 2007 22:04:08 PDT
]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/12541234/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/12541234/ Tue, 10 Apr 2007 15:12:24 PDT
I hope to be on for many years to come. I hope to submit much more poetry. And I further hope to help those many people who submit art with a critique or a kind word.

Thank you all for standinhg by me,
Tim

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/12517822/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/12517822/ Sun, 08 Apr 2007 22:58:53 PDT
-Tim

]]> ~Koloblican11763 http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/12450493/ http://Koloblican11763.deviantart.com/journal/12450493/ Tue, 03 Apr 2007 22:12:14 PDT
My girlfriend is making me happy. We have our disagreements (as all couples do) but we are happy and I am glad- mostly because she is a positive piller instead of a negative space (if you catch me).

I have joined and am currently engaged in an attempt to impress the hell out of the creators of a site called "WritersMafia.org". This is an ambitious project for all writers who wish to discuss and help solve the problems of the world today through comunication and free thought. Those I have talked to so far are very kind, passionat, and understanding people who take this work seriously and not just as another thing to do. I wish to be one of those people.

I had another Choir concert tonight. We song a somewhat odd song considering the state of affairs our world is in. Its a song about freindship and happiness. Odd, but its good to keep a happy mindset when discussing the horrors of the world. (Haha )

Other then that and my grades (which I will not discuss here- lets just say their bad) I have nothing new for anyone. I hope to here how everyone else is doing.

Peace and Good Will,
Tim

]]> ~Koloblican11763