deviantART: by:LaColombeDeDeuil

A SMALL LITTLE FEATURE

Seek for me not where the wild flowers grow,
Find me now where dried flowers lie against cold stone
Where the weeds have by thistle choked out the daisy's bright
Casting then upon the ground the most obscuring shadowing of night.
Linger with me in meadows of death's fragrance, find in me the intonation of a voice controlled by grief
No longer does the music of life, love, gaiety and promise play in unheard wondrous relief
But there is now being played on a harp the chords major of a A Vengeance Song urging
As the new theme music of that belonging to an Angel of the Shadows, once more of light, now

Becomes Once More a Stranger To Passion and True Love Forever Merged

Hail Those That Gave Their Lives and Those That Fought
to Find the Survivors. Never forget December 7th, 1941
or 9/11/2001 ! Stand Up AMERICA and salute those that
fight to keep us free!

THE STEELERS WON! IN CASE YOU DID NOT GET THAT THE STEELERS WON!
THINK I WILL WEAR MY STEELERS JACKET TODAY WHILE
FILING A PROTECTIVE ORDER AGAINST A POLICE CHIEF
OF TEXAS! DID NOT THE COWBOYS LOOSE
THEIR FIRST GAME? OH BOO HOO!

(and if any of my friends are Cowboys fans PLEASE understand this anger goes towards the
{Chief of Police that violated me in many ways.)

Not only can she write but she is one heck of an artist!

September 10, 2009

[link]

Here it is. I have talked to the attorney and I am spreading this as far as I can. This is only a fraction of what he has done. What he did to me split me in two almost literally in a way I will not go into. Read it. Read it well. Write to the papers and tell them he is a jerk. he does not belong in law enforcement let alone carrying a gun.
He has a lock of my hair. He will regret that very soon. Very soon. This Immortal Panther is rising to fight. Come on - come to my door once more - my dogs and I are waiting. Now I hope you all understand. It involves rape, and things worse than that.
Well I am back. Thanks to Mike and Andre and Celeste, I can feel you. Watch your step.
The law is black and wrong is white.

love to all of you!
katti

Sept. 10, 2009

P... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil Angel of Shadows http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/26751252/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/26751252/ Wed, 26 Aug 2009 08:09:58 PDT

A SMALL LITTLE FEATURE

Seek for me now where the wild flowers grow,
Find me not where dried flowers lie against cold stone
Where the weeds have by thistle choked out the daisy's bright
Casting then upon the ground the most obscuring shadowing of night.
Linger with me in meadows of fragrance, find in me the intonation of a voice controlled by grief no more
No longer does the music of life, love, gaiety and promise play in unheard wondrous relief
But there is now being played on a harp the chords major of a wedding song's urging
As the now theme music of that belonging to an Angel of the Shadows, once more of light, now

Becomes To Passion and True Love Forever Merged

[link] Where I am - wondering

[link] - Memories of memories

[link] - A Wish, A Desire

ANGEL OF SHADOWS RISES TODAY

Today I don black, today I paint my eyes dark
Today I become Shadow, today I fly to the stark
Night and there upon a roof top, I shall lower
Myself down, and there I shall watch with horror
What mankind does and has done.
Today I gave my soul away, it will no longer of me be part
Today I closed my spirit down, toady I sealed up my heart
Once I called on the Darkness and it did its bidding for me
Today I call again upon this old friend to remember and see
This Shadow dressed in black with eyes painted in deepest ebony
Spreading once again those wings she never wanted a part of her again to be
Feathers of the deepest shades, deeper than the colors of the night
Adorn them as I stand upon this roof and look with dead eyes past the light
Oh I have walked this path before, I sought it out in hopes of relief
But now I walk this path once again as an Angel of Black for Grief
Sing the song of the birds of the colors of the sky at midnight
Sing if you dare, for you never know what may take flight
Today I don black, today I paint my eyes dark
Today I become Retribution, Sorrow, and Pain, all the parts
Of life that stab, that tear, that rip at peace
Today I become the Angel of The Darkness, pray you never see my face
As I take wing at Darkness's requested release.

*LaColombeDeDeuil There is No Stronger Love http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/26251923/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/26251923/ Fri, 14 Aug 2009 12:49:44 PDT

A SMALL LITTLE FEATURE

July 29, 2009

These are my vows to the man that remained, remained through watching me go through heartache from others that I would have a relationship with, this man that held me and his shirt was my tears cradle on his shoulder, this man that the God of my life put in my life ten years ago and waited, till finally I could see, truly see, the unconditional love he had for me. That is the only way we can love each other. As friends, as close friends of the heart like , and his love, like

, :

,
and always always

and

, http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/26023136/ Mon, 27 Jul 2009 14:53:07 PDT

A SMALL LITTLE FEATURE

July 18, 2009

There are times we have to stand back, get alone, be quiet and take stock of our lives and who we are and where we are going. Well I have done this in the past week. I want to wish this person all happiness and love and I say thank you for what I have had with you. And I say thank you for helping me, my friends, see that all this time, in my life, through all the years that you all, my friends, have known me, through all the surgeries and the loss of those that I loved there has been one person who has stayed strong. He has forgiven me when I hurt him over and over. He has been understanding when I have gone off to another and always been there to hold me when I cry and wipe the tears with his shirt sleeves. He is an incredible man, one of such passion and compassion that I suppose I was literally blinded by the purity of it and could not see that his love for me was what love truly is. It is the staying kind. The kind that holds you when you shatter over anothers remarks. The kind that brings you an ice cream just so he can maybe see you smile slightly through your tears. The kind that stays in a hospital bed or chair in your room all night and day, making sure you are out of pain, making sure that when the nightmares come he is there to chase them away. I have known him as a friend, compatriot, a companion, someone I could confide in about anything, and some of the things I talked to him about I did not even know were hurting him the way they were. But he let talk on, his heart breaking along with mine. He is a Prince among men, he fights for me when I cannot fight for myself, he respects me as a woman and a lady, he has never once said a mean word to me, nor de-famed my name, nor would he ever consider calling me names like bitch. For to him that is a disgusting word for any man to use towards any woman no matter the situation. He is a gentleman. And he has stood by and waited patiently in the wings - watching and comforting all these years till I woke up out of the dream I was in to see who was standing right in front of me. I have said that I am happy before, but happy is not the word I use now, for it cannot begin to encompass all I feel. Funny, I don't even hurt over what should hurt. And the reason why is because of him. So where has this Angel been? She has been in heaven, re-directing her life in the way she should, once more seeing the red flags that I could not see for the smoke of lies around me.

So I guess that what I am getting at and what a dear dear friend of mine already knows, and thank you Lea for your kindness and support, is that I have found that part that I have been missing all these years. I have found the part that fits, without re-designing him, nor having him make any demands of me, he just sits and lets his gentle ways and his kindness and compassion bring the light into the false daybreak smashing away the illusions and showing me the truth.What am I saying? I am saying this, I am no longer alone anymore for I have let into all of me, totally all of me the one piece of me that has been around for almost ten years now and he has made me complete. We were married and yes that ma... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil Where Oh Where Did That Angel Go http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/25646026/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/25646026/ Tue, 30 Jun 2009 13:25:08 PDT

A SMALL LITTLE FEATURE

Seek for me not where the wild flowers grow,
Instead find me where dried flowers lie against cold stone
Where the weeds have by thistle choked out the daisy's bright
Casting then upon the ground the most obscuring shadowing of night.
Linger with me there awhile, find in me the intonation of a voice controlled by grief
No longer does the music of life, love, gaiety and promise play in wondrous relief
But there is now being played on a harp the chords minor of a funeral dirge
As the now theme music of that belonging to an Angel of the Shadows, once of light, now

Becoming To The Night Forever Merged

June 30, 2009

Hello! Boy does Life take you for a ride! And when you come out of Depression and creep out over that edge of that pit so black sometimes, rarely mind you, but sometimes Life is there handing you the Key to Your Heart! Where oh where has this angel flown to? She has been falling into the best deals of her investment life! I bought a house in Bertram, Texas on two acres, a real ranch house, with two fireplaces, real rock on the walls in the sunken living room, and two fenced in acres. This means instead of staying in one of the family business properties when I come here, I will be staying at my own place! I am so excited!!! So I guess you can imagine where I have been. Bertram is a true ranch Texas town. You can ride your horse to the bank, the hardware store etc. Or you can drive too. So I have been running back and forth between it and Austin, and the house of the family's here. And I am getting better everyday!

I want to Introduce two Artists here on DA. One is a budding poet that is,, in my humble opinion already blooming, and one is a photographer that takes pictures of a lot of my favorite things.

What a talented writer. Please go check her out,
you won't be disappointed!Thanks from this humble poet.

He is a new Deviant!! And he is already filling his
gallery with the most fantastic pictures. He is a
photographer, so please check him out! And... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil To Everyone I know http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/25517266/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/25517266/ Wed, 24 Jun 2009 12:47:49 PDT

A SMALL LITTLE FEATURE

June 24, 2009

It is amazing what a touch o death does to a person. It is not like he has not
sad on the corner of my bed before and had talks with me. He has. And he did again, reminding me of horrors that were not what I wanted to dream about. But somehow, he could not get through and I think it is because of

and so many more that I could mention, that kept hope for me. I cannot begin to thank all of you. And as for your comments please know you are all in my heart, all of you that I fav and watch, for my heart is truly large enough for you all.

and others who in my state of mind due to the medication I am on at the moment I cannot get your icons to appear correctly. It was your thoughts and your candles that were lit that kept death just sitting there and not allowing him to reach for my hand. Thank you so much all of you. Please bear with me as I go through the comments that are over 2000 and the deviations as I have to rest a long time each day for two weeks. But -
*LaColombeDeDeuil Black Panther - Alabaster Skin http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/25197564/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/25197564/ Sun, 21 Jun 2009 13:13:40 PDT

A SMALL LITTLE FEATURE

June 21, 2009

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! to all of you out there that are fathers! Hope you have as good a one as I do! He is grand! Well on to less important matters! I am doing better!! Personally, I think I am a terrible patient and driving the nurses out of their heads and that is the main reason they are kicking me out of here. But I am more than willing to go! So I will try to get all the messages answered and try to keep all the deviations faved as I find them, but I am a wee bit tired aye this lass, so I will be going to bed and resting a lot in the first two weeks. At least I will be away from the night nurses! I think they are all reserve Marine nurses! They start my shot from the doorway. Now I know I am thick skinned about somethings but not THAT thick skinned. Thank all of you for supporting me! I love you all!

Katti

June 14, 2009

I want to thank all of you that have fav'ed my works and comments so wonderfully on my pages. I am still on the 'up-swing' from the rain of back to back episodes. This is not an excuse because I could never bring myself to use my disease as an excuse, but it sure is a good reason! I am amazed each time how much it does drain out of you, and what the aftermath is lik... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil Back To The Shadows http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/25164461/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/25164461/ Sat, 06 Jun 2009 15:54:10 PDT

A SMALL LITTLE FEATURE

My Work:

[link]

"Desires Of a Dove"

"Symphony In Blue"

"Ye Are Out There"

"A Toreador's Embrace"

DOFAUST: [link]

"Tis a place where the water flows, the trees sing, and there by a stone lies the Lass Of Kimberling."

WizIllusions: [link]

Misty2007:

MutualEndeavors [link] - A Site For Wiz and Angel

*LaColombeDeDeuil Okay This Angel Is Donning Black Wings! http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/25085865/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/25085865/ Tue, 02 Jun 2009 10:08:38 PDT READ
BY
ALL

June 2, 2009

Those of you out there that know me know that for me to do this I have to be really pushed! Well I have been ! I have figured out what is going on and I have had enough of it! What I comment on a friend's page are my true feelings for that friend and their works and have NOTHING TO DO with MY PERSONAL LIFE unless of course I consider them family, close friend, or someone even closer. If this costs me watchers so be it! But ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! A lot of Americans seem to be saying that these days but not in reference to an art site! My friends, watchers, companions, people that I have known on this site for over four years now have EVERY right to state whatever they want in my shout box, my comments, my replies, on my front page and that means they can do so WITHOUT ANY NASTY COMMENTS being hurled back at them by anyone. I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANYONE IN MY LIFE THAT TREATS THE PEOPLE I HAVE LOVED AND HAVE HELPED ME THROUGH SOME OF MY GREATEST PAINS BEING TREATED WITH SOME SMART COMMENT! That includes such statements as BACK OFF, and other statements to that effect. SO FROM THIS POINT ON , IF ANY OF MY FRIENDS ARE BEING HARASSED THAT WAY THAT ARE OF THE MALE PERSUASION I WANT TO KNOW NOW WHETHER IT IS AT THIS MOMENT OR IN THE PAST! I HOPE THIS IS VERY CLEAR TO EVERYONE!

I don't play games!!!! My friends know that!!!! And they know why! That is because I am too smart and when I find a game is being run I figure out the rules and boy you better be ready to play with the big cats when you step of the porch into that playing field. NOBODY TOUCHES MY FRIENDS!!!!! NOBODY!!!!!!!!!! Or I will rip you from head to shin in one minute and you will never see it coming! I TRUST I HAVE MADE MYSELF CLEAR!

TO my friends, please help me in this effort if you would! TELL me if any of you have received these kins of statements! I want to know! And I will not hold you to your friendship if this journal is not to your liking but I will stand behind you at any point. WE are supposed to be adults here not children so how about us acting like it there is enough drama in my everyday life I don't need it on my art site! To those of you who will support me, thank you and you have my love!

KATARINA
THE CLAWS ARE OUT!

]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil When the Sun Rises http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/24978594/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/24978594/ Tue, 02 Jun 2009 08:20:41 PDT I sought out a place that held ancient dreams

I found such a place inside of me

And then I asked the one that meant the most to me

If she would mind accompanying me.

A BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF ART FROM A BEAUTIFUL ARTIST'S HEART DONE FOR A
HUMBLE POET.

June 2, 2009

[link]

This humble poet has been featured by this wonderful artist who sees life and defines it in the most beautiful of ways, in the fragile petals of flowers that grace our days. I can only say thank you Michael for I can find no other words than those, except thank you for the beauty you spread in this world through the eyes of your muse..

always,
katti

[link]

A Dedication To One Alive Inside of Me and Lifts me Higher
Steadies my Balance in Lifts, Drives me On through the Pain
Vic, You are Still My Partner, Dance On my Immortal Ballerina, Dance On!

http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/24835732/ Fri, 22 May 2009 18:34:40 PDT I sought out a place that held ancient dreams

I found such a place inside of me

And then I asked the one that meant the most to me

If she would mind accompanying me.

May 19, 2009

Well, it is May! And I want to thank all of the wonderful people that sent me birthday presents! Here they are:

http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/24308926/ Sat, 16 May 2009 12:59:37 PDT

May 5th, 2009

The saying above this work fits this work more than anyone can ever know. I am so amazed at what my dear sister and friend and her love Peter have done for me. I do not know why I am so complimented in this piece, for I do not see myself as others seem to see me. I strive with all I am to be true to my word, I try to love others as I would they love me, but even in these areas I feel I fall short. I owe so much to so many on this site here at Deviant. I could not begin to have even enough time to thank them all properly if I had a 1000 years. Days when to take a step would cause tears to flow, but it was the words of so many that made me take the second step forward. You, my friends here at this site are the ones that have helped me so very much. I wish I could give all of you anything you need at this moment, even if I had not but the clothes on my back. Those too, I would gladly give up. You all know, those of you that have been around through Vic's death, and through my two recoveries and it was you Celeste and Peter who just recently put a new kind of smile on my face.The smile of knowing that you love still. What a gift! So thank you - a 1000 times over - all of you out there for all you have done for this humble poet, the least of you all. Thank you from my heart.

katti

This piece is from a friend of mine that I have known almost ten years now. He has seen me through the dark, he has supported me as I ventured first back out into the light, he has heard my tears, and he has always let me cry them out, when my heart was broken and shattered, he took the time to find the pieces and shelter me till I was strong enough to trust again. He has been my champion, he has been my love when I needed to feel love, he has been my heart when my heart was too weak to do naught but beat. He has rallied others and delivered messages when I was in ICU. If I am a friend to anyone today, this is the one that taught me how to love and live again and be that way. Sean, you know - the rest I leave for you to think for you know the rest of the words. Bless you for saving my life.

forever and always,
katti

http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/23733621/ Tue, 07 Apr 2009 01:21:15 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

March 29, 2009

by Hellmet is Incredible work. He reached in and found Kimberling, my Missouri home. How fitting for the header for this Journal.

March 16,2009
Well, I am back. Please understand that does not mean that I will be answering all of your messages and comments but I sure will give it my best shot. I thought I had seen the pit but I had not, but I have seen it now and I hope NEVER to see it again. I thank you all so very very very much for all your support. I am taking one step at a time, dancing one step at a time, and treasuring every single moment that I have they are fragile moments, these increments of time. Who knows when one will be the final one we spend with those we love. So many people have done so many wonderful things for me, and I shall be adding a few more to this page besides the beautiful ones from Andre. Ah Andre, you are the first ray of sun I see each day, the first star I see at night, and the night breeze whispers your words to me as I walk or ride in the silky meadows as they come to life with the green grasses and the beginning of the first of the brave flowers. I take your words Andre with me, as a melody that rings in my heart, resonates in my spirit and echoes in my soul. And as it does I sing it softly to her for you. I will be enclosing here a picture of what she left me. She is beautiful! Her name is Sasha and that is pronounced with the first 'A' being a long 'A'. She was six months old on Friday and is as wild and funny as Vic was. For those that have never seen a red standard poodle, well soon you will. She is one and has champions on both sides.

I miss Vic, but I will not say that my days are empty ones anymore. I am meeting people, lots of them, and as we pack tonight to go to Austin for the rodeo I will probably meet a lot more. They tell me I have a hypnotic smile, as if I were smiling with a secret in my heart. I am. It is love. Love for a lot of people and a special kind of love for a chosen few.

Andre, your words these past few weeks have kept me living and I thank you, as well as Michelle, VisualPoetress, and Sarah, you sweet soul, and Prince of Jupiter, and well the list goes on. This will not be a long journal but it will say I am back and will be posting again. In several mediums in fact. I am smiling as I write this and I walk around with a smile, a very slight one on my lips, all the time. I am remembering so many things and they warm my heart. I can only hope my words will do the smile justice and that the art that I wish to write about will find the creators pleased. Till then -
Katarina

http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/23060440/ Sat, 07 Feb 2009 15:23:09 PST I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

February 7, 2007

Okay here goes and if I offend anyone in this journal I want to first state that I am sorry, it is not intentional. I had a beautiful friend. Her name was Victoria. She sacrificed herself for me to help me through to where I could not only walk again but dance. Please note, I said I had. Victoria lost her husband in the middle of our season to divorce. This did not stop her, sure it cut her deep, but she kept on. Then we finished and we returned together to my home. The future looked great! That is until a Deviant on here started harassing her. Telling her she was schizophrenic, sending her links to the encyclopedia online, saying she had multiple personalities and that is what he meant by schizophrenic. He at times claimed she and I were one and the same. Note after note, comment after comment, then he started in on me. Yesterday I left the house for some shopping. I came home to a note that said, "I am not what they think. Is not loosing my husband enough? I guess not. I guess I have to be persecuted." It was lying next to her dead body. My Friend. My Sister in life. That was not the whole of the note but the end is most poignant,"Why could they just not accept we are not the same person?"

WORDS! Beautiful sometimes, hatefully used at other times have a massively greater power than any of us can EVER begin to imagine. I have turned this person into DA. But that is not all now, oh no. Now the family attorney is involved. Sure, some will defend this person saying hey he did not know what she was going through. To that I use a term that someone used to me to make me stand up and fight. BULLSHIT! What does it matter? Who died and made him god of DA. There are people on this site that suffer every single day, some from mental illnesses, some from physical illnesses, some from both. Some have lost people in their lives that have crushed them, I am one of them, and I had to fight my way out of the mire of a hateful person's attempt to terminate me. We call ourselves a community. Has anyone bothered lately to look up the definition of this word? I know it was just not this persons' actions alone that drove her to this ending of a pain she could overcome. I should have seen it, but I did not, and I have no more tears left to cry for they are all cried out. But why? Why do some people on here feel they have the right to come to another's gallery and make statements like that? We blocked him from his main account and guess what? He has two accounts! Is it really him on both? How many more does he have? There are a lot of DA's that have more than one account, I stated on one and I switched and in my journal over two years ago I said, " I was here now I am here." Does that sound like a person trying to fool people? I am not that way, and there are many people on here that have spoken to me on the phone, seen me on camcorder that know what I look like. Am I angry? No, I am just plain fed up. I think before you state something to another that you do not know that is as defamatory as this was, you should stop and ask yourself, what is the effect this will have.

If I lose watchers because of my comments I don't care. I will write anyway. It is my right. But there used to be a person called Kattie that was all sweetness and light, well she is a tad bit more now. Go ahead, mess with my friends on here and you will find out how she has changed.

Love to all that understand,
and to those that think I have no right to make these feelings known? A simple shrug of the shoulder and a walk away.

Katti

http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/22171782/ Fri, 06 Feb 2009 08:22:48 PST I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

February 2, 2009

Well I am back. And I have to say that though I missed all of you here, I would not have missed it for the world! It may be my last season, but I hope not. I plan on dancing with the chorus as long as I can. And with the shape I am in now, that could be for awhile. We had a very successful season, and there are still more performances to come, but I am not dancing in them so I decided that I would come home. AND HOW ABOUT THEM STEELERS! Needless to say I was hoping ever so slightly they would win, but there was never any doubt. Six Super Bowls! A new Record! I am busy trying to answer all the messages but I have 2,705 messages and well if I don't get to you, I hope you understand!
I will be tying some new things this year! I am going to be writing some more provocative poetry a well as prose, I am going to expand and get that long talked about story about my little Celtic sidhe online. I am also going to go into Visual Poetry, and if there is a way yet, I will be doing some audio reading of my work. I did do some for several DA Artists and they were very insistent that I needed to do so. I am also happy to announce that Vic is doing much better. And I am leaving the boys behind and sticking with the men. Now that has nothing to do with age mind you. I have met 18 year old men and 45 year old boys. It is all in the maturity and the way they treat you that separates them in my book, as well as the way they conduct their lives. I have been reminded by Vic to let you know she is accepting resumes for someone to correspond with and will be posting in her journal the resume for filling out. ::Rolls her eyes:: I am not going that far, I am going to let actions speak louder than words. I will be heading up to the farm in Missouri on a trip planned we have for cross country. I miss my babies! They are so beautiful! Well it is good to be back, and everyone remember those Deviants on here that need help, and those that need our prayers.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

katti

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! ATTENTION!

February 3, 2009

[link] This Deviant is in trouble. She is a sweetheart and well loved by this community but she is in trouble and she needs our support! Not cliches, not pats on the back, this is more serious trouble than that. She needs to know we CARE! If you do do what you can. Write her, note her, ask her how you can help her. I am willing to do all I can for her, but that is her choice if she contacts me or not. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not be negative but love her, and if you can put yourself in her shoes, do so and ask yourself what would you want and need right now. All those close to me, those that have spoken to me on the phone know that I know what I am talking about. But above all else support her and that does not mean bashing those she loves. Thank you!

Katti

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! ATTENTION!

February 4, 2009

Sometimes we don't understand why bad things happen. Then we realize that sometimes the path that led to such horror can lead eventually to a light that is another soul.
The soul I speak of is a new friend of mine [link]

known to this community as VisualPoetress. She just did a deviation for me and it touched me so, as have all the gifts that my friends have given me. But this gift comes from a woman that has strength that is beyond belief, a heart that is large enough to hold the entire worl... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil Back To The Boards http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/21048901/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/21048901/ Sat, 18 Oct 2008 14:32:48 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

October 18, 2008

First of all I want to thank all of you who have supported me.
Though there may come a time we may be separated, I shall never forget you all in my heart. Second, I am back dancing again with the chorus and rehearsing for a number to do with my best friend and two other dancers. I have never felt better, nor looked better, (can I say that?)in my life! I am looking forward to each dawn and smiling through each hour!

As for the new work, well, I suppose it will take me sometime to get back into the 'swing' of listening to my muse but I will. Good to be back!

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K

From one that walks once more and works to dance to the music of her soul.

]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil Love Comes From A Friend http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/19948863/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/19948863/ Thu, 14 Aug 2008 08:45:12 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

August 13, 2008

I am flying on the wings of joy! I have fought, I have hurt, I have endured! I have gone through the fire and been burned by the flames! And out of it has come a new me, a sortof phoenix that rises from the ashes of what I perceived as an eternal death. I have let the men and women of medicine perform their jobs. I did not believe at first, but I was a fool. So much has happened - so much new technology is out there! I am free finally from the deomns of pain, and it is at their hands such blessings did come. I cannot thank enough my mother who sacrificed and did not care what it took to see me whole again, and I am, better than before, and I am so grateful and with eyes new see a whole brand new world! I want to thank all of you that kept me in your prayers. It has not been for naught, no they have been answered as have my own beyond any that I could even imagine to dream! I am told that all that was before not right, even before this last 'incident' that nearly cost me freedom in this life is now well. To be free, it is like finding myself being re-born again! Physical pain is gone, and I am in the control of the management of it to the point that once again I can resume fullness of life! I am accepted back into the field of my earliest desires, plastic surgeons hae done their deeds and removed several scars that might hinder any costuming that I would wear. I am alive again and it is a life I have not lived for five years! What once was done and performed under great agony, and then would require a shot so I could walk after is now done with none of that needed. Do you believe in miracles? I do. And so does the two dearest people in the world that have stood beside me these last two weeks or so. One, a female who pushed me hard. One, a male, who comforted when I cried. Two together joined as one in life came to be a power in my life. Now I lean on another power that is in me.

Thank you all for your messages, for your caring, for your love and for your continued support. I shall never ever forget what you have done for you all do not know how much it also helped me.

katti

From one that walks once more and works to dance to the music of her soul.

]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil When You Are Flat On Your Back http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/19372151/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/19372151/ Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:20:46 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

Dearest Friends,

First and foremost, I want to thank all of you that have fav'ed my works, and left me such heartfelt messages. For the first time I am able to write myself in response to you all. Max, a longtime friend, did a beautiful work for me [link] he is quite the writer. Also and with such love I wish to thank MozartsNemesis, for his work [link] he is a friend I consider a brother, and his love, a young woman whose heart is like pure gold, my little sister. [link] and [link] are two beautiful pieces of art that a friend who has come to be a comfort and one to whom I turn for wisdom made for myself and a friend of mine. I am sure these are not all of the art, but I tire still easily and do not want to use up all my energy at this moment. I shall be including others in another journal. Thank you Wiz for all your prayers, and Amalyn and BadKitty, well I could go on, but I again must retain some energy. My muse urged me to write something I shall be submitting this evening for J and K who are so in love.

I did learn one thing in all of my time on my back, when you are there the easiest way to look is up. And I did and what I found was beautiful indeed. Most of all I found love, unconditional, as it should be. So thank you all for adding me as a friend if you did, thank you again for your favs, and most of all thank you for the prayers. Prayer works. Also thank you for the pageviews, I was astonished!! Whoever it was, I shall continue my normal gifting of subscriptions or if not needed I shall purchase a print. If I cannot determine who hit it first, that will be several of you that shall benefit.

Bless you all, never forget to walk slow enough to truly see that which one day you may wish you had, and look up, you may be surprised at what you will find.

July 16, 2008

[link] This link goes to a Deviant that is in need! What I have been through is nothing compared to what she endures everyday! I am asking that you visit her! Encourage HER! PLEASE! Take time away from me, write to her, take time away from praying for me and pray for her - she so needs it! She is such a giving and loving person and I know gloom and doom is not pleasent to read about, but dog gone it! This is a pure soul that needs to hear from some people that she is loved! And there may be something else I may be implementing here after I check with DA about it, but at least go to her journal, read some of the back ones! She asks for nothing and gives all! So lets give back! I ask this if for nothing else, but from those that are friends of me. Don't worry about me! Take that time and give it to her! Please, I beg of you!... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil A Fighter Quits http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/18836376/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/18836376/ Sat, 21 Jun 2008 12:40:49 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

It is with the permission of my daughter, Katherine, that I am writing this for her. We were on our way to a trip for an extended period of time when the nerves in her back finally quit.
She was brought back to the states and underwent immediate surgery that has proven fruitless. I asked that I be allowed to write this because there are those that do not believe in her and what she says. Well you are all wrong. Allow me to expound. For those of you that do not believe she has been fighting for seven years now to recover from a murder attempt here is what she has endured. She has been through therapy so that finally after the first three years she could sleep without nightmares. She has had now 16 surgeries, some of which I shall list, two rib re-sections, two scalenectomies, four back surgeries, two knee surgeries, two throat lymphonectomies, four abdominal surgeries, two of which were to stop the internal bleeding when her abuser attempted to murder her. Her dearest wish was to finally see the places she has been trying to see for two years now. And she was not even granted that, yet I have read and seen things by some people on here sent to me that make me sick to think people would not believe she was disabled. Well, these people will not have to worry about that anymore, because my daughter now has six to eight months to fight if she is to walk ever again. She is now in severe pain that is hard to control even in the hospital from the hands of a killer that killed her little boy those seven years hence. She lies in her bed in ICU and refuses to fight anymore. She has given up. And I know what hurt her the most. And I also know why she is not fighting and letting herself go this time. Gone is the dancer that once danced in her soul. She will not listen to any of the music that I bring in to her. Not even the classics she danced to still, even at the amazement of the doctors. She was advised against this trip. She was told that the pressure of the g's on the jets could do this but she said she had promised and she has always tried to keep her word. I have given her a recorder to write with, she refuses to do so. The horse farm in Missouri will be signed over to an individual to oversee that has been her friend truly for many years. I am hoping that it will not come to that and that she will begin to fight once more and I will see in her eyes the fire that was there that kept her alive. Yet at the moment it does not exist.

For those of you that did not believe in her, there is karma. And I do pray that the pain that your unbelief has caused her is merciful to you, for if you could see how she endures pain everyday now, you would tremble at the thought of it. So a mother prays first for her daughter and second for those that do not believe. I have extended her subscription for three months in the hopes that she will be able to break through just once more. In that time period she has asked me to copy her work from DA and place it on cd rom. If she does not change her mind her work will be gone by the time the subscription is over. I want to thank the people of London. They are incredible. They helped her so much, they got her out as quickly as they could back to the states for surgeries and I thank my friends that were traveling with us as well. As for the one place she had hoped to get to most, none of our family will ever travel, nor will we recommend it to anyone. If I sound harsh, try, if you can to put yourself in my position, I am sure there are a few who can.

So I close this journal and if she does not fight this will be the last words sent from her to Deviant Art.

She did wish all those that have been her friends and supported her all the luck and mercies of kindness that the world can afford and have not afforded her. There is a saying, it is judge not lest ye be judged. I state this because until you actually saw the scars on her body and watched her fight to walk again and finally dance and now lie there not caring, you would know what it is like to have your life change in a moment's time. From a Vice-President and SEC Licensed Broker one moment to dying in ICU the next is a rough road for anyone. And I am very proud of her that she walked it once and fought through the darkness, fought hard. But I see none of that in her now. For those of you that believe please pray. I lost her once, I cannot bear to lose her again.

A Letter to her friends, from Katti dictated to me.

It was done the 18th:

I awoke this morning to begin my routine. I turned on the favorite movie channel of mine which is Turner Classic Movies. On it was the movie "White Cliffs of Dover" with Irene Dunne. I watched the tale of two women wh... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil Lass in Kimberling http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/18026220/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/18026220/ Fri, 16 May 2008 07:39:26 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

May 16, 2008

I want to say thank you to all my watchers, friends and any of you that have taken the time to kindly stop by and check out my gallery. I especially want to say thank you to Lady Lincoln for recommending me for the Daily Deviation that I recieved today! I was floored!!!

I am so very grateful for the community and its support. And this is a blessing in more ways than all of you know. It is you all that keep me going, with a special few to whom I owe my very life. You know who you are. I do have some errors in the spelling and grammer - but when I write my muse takes over and sometimes it is so late I don't have time to edit so I will submit with the thought of going back and fixing it up, so thank you also to those that have helped me with the errors I need to correct in that respect. AGAIN, I say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, - I am very very very appreciative of this and once more again I say thank you! This makes the trip I leave on in two days even more special.

katti

Once there as a lass in Kimberling. She met a Wizard, a Master of the Quill as down the road he walked when she called out to him. He came to her and she shared with him the wine she had. They talked for hours and hours and soon the light was gone and it was far towards midnight. The Wizard told her that he had to travel on. The lass broke down in tears as she watched him fade into the shadows. Days wore on, lonely nights came and went, then one night she received a message that made her heart break. Oh how she cried out to the full moon above for her Wizard to come and change the path that the note informed her her life had changed to be her's to walk along. A star swept across the sky, she was captured by the tail as it shimmered and it glimmered and then a voice behind her said, " I heard your tears falling, I felt your heart break, I could not leave you alone on this sad journey you must make." She ran to him and he embraced her as she cried out her tale. He cried with her for her grief was very real. " I cannot change what life has dealt nor what death has come to claim. But I can remain here in Kimberling if that would be your wish." "Oh please do not let me travel through this valley all alone." So the Wi... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil PHOENIX REBORN IN THE FORM OF A LE'ANAN SIDHE http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/17603191/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/17603191/ Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:28:51 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

MARCH 31 2008

LISTENING TO

Listening to Nothing But Jazz

I felt a touch last night. It was in the early hours of morn. It was strong, yet tender, protective, yet unrestricted, it chased horror with whispers soft, oh so warm and soft.
A wind blew over my house. There was no wind till I felt the touch and it did not linger, nae it did not. It blew over and then it was gone. And as, in curiousity, I peered outside,
it was like out of darkness there came appearin' one star, then one other, till it was as if enough sufficient to make me smile, and that was nae alot mind ye. So from the bottom of this Nordic lingeage ancient raised lass, I thank all of you.

special thanks to one that accepted a promise

April 11, 2008

Oh so long since I have felt the breath of my muse drift over me. What sustains me is the refletion of the candles in the distance and the remembrance that I will keep those promises that I have made. That alone is what is keeping me going. I thank again all of you that continue to support me. My phone goes unanswered. My door is not open at all. It would do no good to try for I am not there at all. I did what I so often do, I compromised and I lost. I did a trial run of this object, and I found out it does not, like so many other technical objects like me at all. They insert a small box into your back next to your spine and leave a plae for the electric wires to hang out that they attach to a little box that you wear. This box then is controlled by you as to how much electricity it sends through your back to "control your pain". Electric shock that is not supposed to hurt is to control your pain. But, and there are those that will not believe this, the doctors that handle my pain management needed some paitients to try this out on. And since my pain is balanced by two narcotics, at very low levels so it just takes the edge off, they wanted me to try it BEFORE they upped it anymore, in other words, do it or we won't write your scripts. So I did and now I am fighting staph. So no I am not answering my phone, and no I am not able to answer my door but I am able to get these words to you and through the fingers of one that loves me and gave me life through that love. I will be okay, however, at the moment I have never felt so sick. At any rate, I wish for you all a wonderful Mayday, May 1, and I will be leaving I pray for a heart's adventure.

love,
katti

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil Devious Journal Entry http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/17413252/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/17413252/ Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:24:30 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

March 19, 2008

Alot of people have been missing me. Alot of people have not even known I was gone. I have been out of pocket. I have been out of the country even, you could say. Almost four weeks ago I got word from a doctor I never wanted to hear. "There is a surgery, we have had some success with it, it is a relatively new surgery, but it is not too dangerous. You are a canidate for it." WHY! Why am I a candidate for some surgery that only 250,000 people worldwide have had, with only a 50 percent success rate at that? And, if I don't have the surgery now, I will probably be an even better candidate for it in a few years. They even gave me a DVD, showing the procedure, the side effects that could develop like paralysis, which I as a lover of dance was thrilled to hear, blood clots and maybe even infection at the site of the procedure? You know, I am very fortunate, my family loves me, my heart is finally retired to a sweet repose out of necessity, I can still dance, if I take my medications so I don't feel the pain. But, why am I a canidate for a surgery that emotionally I shiver from the thought of. It will be my 16th major surgery in eight
years. I run. I get afraid and I run. And I have been running till I have gotten lost in some corner of some dark valley and I had a compass but now it is lost.

I am sorry to those of you that I worried if I did. I ran to places I have never been. And I know, here is Kat once more expounding on how rough life is for her, and how she is special and needs extra understanding. I would trade places with you if I could. There are millions of people that are worse off than me even, but this is Kat writing and she is maybe to you then not worth the maintenance. What you give so unto you is given. I have made two promises and expect to keep them. I am also like the cherry blossoms that bloom in Spring, there is time that I disappear. And there is a time when I burst forth with all the glory I am worth. But that is not as long acting, like the cherry blossoms. I would love to hear certain voices. I am surrounded by boxes and do not have access to some numbers. I guess this is an explanation and also abit of humble asking your forgiveness to subjecting you to the dark side of my mind. Even the moon rotates around the earth.

katti

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil CHANGES-UNWANTED GAINS-AND CHAINS http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/16429321/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/16429321/ Sat, 01 Mar 2008 08:51:49 PST I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

January 16, 2008

There are times when you just have to say, "Yes" to those things that you have no control over and finally overwhelm you. Such a time it is for me. I have not submitted anything and won't be for a few more days, till I learn how to manuver with this new white hard thing wrapped around my right arm. It is not easy, so I may be submitting using audio, if I can get it set-up , if not I will answer what comments I can, at what time I can, otherwise please be paitient, I am in alot of pain. Thank you. May peace be your path and goodness the light of your soul, may love be the guide to your spirit as well a your heart, dictating and influencing your actions and walk. and may your mind find rest in the hours of early evening.

katti

January 20, 2008

I am writing this piece in my journal from a secret place inside of myself. A place where no one has gone except the Spirit of El Shaddai, for it is a place that is His alone and there only He and I wander. I have spent these last few days of quiet speculation asking myself many questions. Some of them easy questions, some of them very hard, all of them necessary to me I believe, to be able to continue on with any courage or strength through whatever life tosses my way as well as through the pain I face each day, just as so many others. "I Believe" - I used those words in the sentence just above, but the word believe is not based upon Webster's definition of it, nor the way it is so commonly bantered about in this day. It is based on the original origins of that word as used several thousands of years ago in Aramaic, Greek, Arabic, and Hebrew origins of that word. Believe - is there something that you believe in? Do you dare answer that without atually knowing to what you are saying yes to? Believe - to become totally re-made over in reflection of that in which you have placed your committment, your word, and your heart. To take on all the attributes of that Faith or Individual that you profess to believe in. This is at least as close as I can remember the explanation of 'believe' from those ancient times. Here is an example of how I see that according to the modern world, we say 'I believe it is going to rain.' because someone on the tv, a face that is pretty or handsome, has had a meterologist tell them that the barometer says it is going to rain. Yes, there is far more to the rain example than that, one of my best friends is a meterologist in Bahrain, so I am aware of the scientific aspects of that. But that is not what I am speaking of, though in our modern world we take that application of the word and apply it to everything we use it for in that aspect. 'I believe' - words that are tossed around in everyday useage and in reality the word believe has two meanings. It has the casual everyday meaning we use it for today, and here I am not putting down anyone I am merely stating that perhaps we may be over using it. "I believe", to me, means, I am totally committed to that which I have stated, that I know that I know that I know that it is for me the spirit's truth and in that I stand. I believe, upo... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil CHANGES-UNWANTED GAINS-AND CHAINS http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/16429309/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/16429309/ Wed, 16 Jan 2008 09:21:52 PST I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

January 16, 2008

There are times when you just have to say, "Yes" to those things that you have no control over and finally overwhelm you. Such a time it is for me. I have not submitted anything and won't be for a f more days, till I learn how to manuver with this new white hard thing wrapped around my right arm. It is not easy, so I may be submitting using audio, if I can get it set-up , if not I will answer what comments I can, at what time I can, otherwise please be paitient, I am in alot of pain. Thank you. May peace be your path and goodness the light of your soul, may love be the guide to your spirit as well a your heart, dictating and influencing your actions and walk. and may your mind find rest in the hours of early evening.

katti

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil CHASING RAINBOWS http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/16050085/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/16050085/ Sun, 13 Jan 2008 19:03:27 PST I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

All of the places

All of the faces

All of the voices

All of the choices

It is never like what it seems at the time

I am always chasing a rainbow

How did I get from there to here?

How do I find my way back again when I don't even know where I am near?

How do I know what is right when I am being told I am always wrong?

How does one find the dawn when th night stretches on and on?

It is never like what it seems at the time

I am always chasing a rainbow

Climbing up on a fluff of a husk where seeds have gone from

Casting myself to its conditions, closing my eyes and and rising into the air, wonder if I will be allowed to come down?

Where is the end of the world?

Hear her cry
Piercing the Dawn
Tis a Cry
Dear To Most
Tis a Cry Dreary to One
Tis The Cry Of The Mourning Dove

January 6, 2008

How did you start the New Year? I had someone tell me the other day, "May the best thing that happened to you in 2007 be the worst in 2008." Food for thought I say. How did you start the New Year? Tell me! I started by hauling a gelding to a mare that missed his velvet nose from the wilds of the shadowy Ozarks to the hills of the Texas Rose. So Tell me! How did you start your New Year?

January 7, 2008

There is someone that needs some love!!!! She is a joy to know and a great artist! But she is down and now is the time that we, her fellow artists show her she is not what she thinks she is but she is SPECIAL to us! Take sometime out of your day! A minute even and go to her... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil The Secret http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/15719661/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/15719661/ Tue, 11 Dec 2007 15:45:48 PST I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

She sits by the window and looks out over the almost now barren trees. There is a lantern lit beside her, on a table as ancient as the hills are, that must hold inside of it many tales of wisdom. The wind is whispering tonight, playing a game of come and fetch me as she is smiling, yes she is smiling. A sight worth seeing? Most would say yes, any smile is a good thing, but those that have been let get close to her know what a special smile this one is. It is different than all the other times she has smiled in this way, this time her dimples are showing, this time her eyes are shimmering, this time she is sitting in perfect peace.

The fire in front of her sizzles as a log pops, another smile, this one a small bit larger, she is thinking it is how her heart is feeling right now. She is sitting there and she is waiting, waiting for a twin set of lights, the twin kind of lights that are a car's eyes in the night's darkness. It is almost midnight, and she is very anxious in her spirit. Long legs are garbed in a pair of her favorite jeans, it is cold outside in the winter of the mountain forests and she is fighting it with an oversized sweater that falls past her fingers if not pushed up and is loose on her but warm nonetheless. Black boots are laced up to her knees, leather boots, worker boots, with tough toes and lots of durability. Her long hair is lt loose and falls in a curtain of thick silk around her face as she sits there by the window, that car awaiting. In the background there is playing the sweet saxaphone of Stanley Turrentine, a jazz musician. Another pop from the fire, her eyes are drawn to the road, the lights are coming up it, like two torches heralding a carriage of some personage of deep importance. She jumps up, grabs a jacket made of denim and lined with wool, pulls open the front door and starts to run down the hill in front of the house, past the stables she goes, her speed never waivering in her determination to meet the vehicle as it turns from the road.

The car turns into the long driveway that was the one she has run down, for a moment she is frozen as a doe in headlights, then she hears the ar door open and he steps out. For a moment all they do is gaze at each other, then he is moving as she is moving ending up into each other's arms. Through her lips comes her voice as she takes his hand, he leads her to the car and up the road they begin. So far all either has said was a soft "hello". Then they are at the open front door, she leads him inside, and by the light of the fire and the lantern they smile in joint appreciation of what each has found. Her eyes find his then and her voice is a mere whisper, "Welome home." are her words, he replies in "Thank You". Then he cocks his head and says,"How did you know it would be this way?" She smiles at him, leans over and blows out the lantern, answering him. "Because you rocked my world." He smiles at her, in a much deeper way now, he kicks shut the door, closing the world outside, then takes her in his arms and the circle is complete, as two become one.

[link]

my inspiration

December 2, 2007

Well today I shall begin to attempt to put in my journal information that will help the reader, if there be any (lol) of my novel called "The Mystical Isles". This appendix will enable people to go to sites that have information I used as resources as well as how I came to name the characters, and where the Isles is exactly and how it came to be. I will be drawing first from pieces of it I have submitted in my gallery, that I have, I hope put together to form the prologue to the story itself. So here we go, and I hope that some of you find it enjoyable to read. Also forthcoming will be images and works that over the year have been done for me by my friends here on DA. You, who have done these works have no idea how you have touched my heart, and how, in some magical way, they always seemed to come at the moment when I needed them most.

*LaColombeDeDeuil Time For A Change http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/15047472/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/15047472/ Sat, 24 Nov 2007 20:17:26 PST I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

I am back and ready to let the Muse take me into places she has never dared take me before. I am ready to allow myself to bleed onto the page and let my words be as a painter's brush or a photographer's camera as they speak out the pictures of my soul. Tis a most wonderful Enchantment indeed.
katti

November 8, 2007

[link]

THIS is to me poetry! This little one is a budding poet and I think her work is worth the reading. She is not afraid to put it out there and she does and it is honest. Like the others I have suggested in other journals, like MozartsNemesis, Amalyn, Reynart, she is equal to them and makes me stop in my tracks! PLEASE, support her. We writers find it so hard at times to be recognized so visit her and see if there is not one piece in there that will do as it did to me and that is make you stop.

katti

WORDS RECEIVED BY A DANCER AS LYRICS
WHICH COME WITH MUSIC THE BREATH
OF HER SOUL

From "I Surrender" by Crosby, Stills and Nash

In times of meditation I can hear the sweetest voice
sounding out across the distance, breaking thru the noise
then there come a vision then a touch so tender
no more indecision, I surrender.
I try to keep my heart protected
I try to keep my cool
But just as I suspected
I don't make the rules
I am giving myself over
No more great pretender
I want to be your lover
I surrender
I surrender
I surrender
I am giving myself over
No more great pretender
I want to be your lover
I surrender
I surrender
I surrender.

What more than this can heart or soul say but I surrender?

Lady of the Island Lyrics

Holding you close, undisturbed before a fire,
The pressure in my chest when you breathe in my ear;
We both knew this would happen when you first appeared,
My lady of the island.

The browness of your body in the fireglow
Except the places where the sun refused to go.
Our bodies were a perfect fit,
in afterglow we lay,
My lady of the island.

Letting myself wander through the world inside your eyes
You know I'd like to stay here until every tear runs dry.
Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
Da da da da da da da da... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil Changes and the Road to Oz http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/13933687/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/13933687/ Sun, 07 Oct 2007 16:45:50 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

It is the night of the full moon,
The wind is just the right warmth as it blows across my form,
I lie neath the tree and watch the leaves play shadow games
With the rays of the Mistress of the Night as she shines through them gently so.
Music is softly playing, there is always music in this hill born town
And my mind is filled with the thoughts of one -
One only -
Oh how I wish I was lying here in his arms.
It is the night of the full moon
The wind is just the right warmth as it blows across my form,
I imagine it is the same as the warmth of your whispers as you comfort me at this time
Oh how I wish I could whisper to him how scared I am at this moment,
even as the moon shines.

k

The wind blows harsh and the rain beats down cold upon the windowpane, with tiny lashes of chilled drops of water cast off by heaven, carried on the back of a dragon of the wind, whose wings beat hard, causing the air in violence to move and I love the passion in it all.
It is as if the whole of nature is saying "I am mighty, who do you think you are?" I love the rain, the wind, the storm especially late at night like now, it is like a beast has come to visit me in my almost reached slumber hour.

k
11:48 pm

August 19, 2007

Sugar caught in the hot flow of water, or is it sand caught in the sun's rays and all is mirages? Either way - all perishes, the closer you get
or the more you stir it.

Caution is the watch word of the day, there is a heart that is breaking. Do you know what that sounds like? Have you ever heard crystal fall and hit a hard surface? It shatters. Slivers are left - pieces missing - assembly not possible. Repair at times improbable. Some heartaches are meant to stay, the trick is learning how to hide them in your eyes so others cannot see them - avoidance - in that is found the conclusion - or is found the solution. Black sunday.
katti

Just when you think the sun has left the sky a friend lends her hand to you and tears shine in your eyes as you smile through them. [link] did such a glorious gift for me. Go see her work she will astound you! Thank you dear for putting a poem of mine in your journal!

October 6, 2007

Here is a new found poet that I like! Pay her a visit, I think you may find that she is worth the visit! [link]

Also, [link] , [link] , [link] , and [link] , along with [link] and [link] continue to create, write and do wonderful things in photography. All have been so kind to me, please check them out as well, they are wonderful artists! Hope all is well with you all!
... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil FOR THOSE THAT OVERCOME http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/13683633/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/13683633/ Tue, 10 Jul 2007 11:51:06 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

I want to first say hello to all of you out there on Deviant Art. To be able to do so is for me a gift in and of itself. I have never really revealed what I do besides write, but due to a gift of a trust I am able to do that one thing that became closest to my heart one day several years ago. What is that one thing? Help people and not just any people but those that are trapped, held in a form of captivity that from which they cannot escape or are araid to escape from for fear of their life. I belong to a group of people that rescue them. That is what I do, and that is why I am gone sometimes just days and sometimes weeks at a time. The job entails going to where they are, be they male or female and with the help of the law force in this country, I get them out. Is it a dangerous job? Yes it is. Epecially since I at times am in pain from a situation similar to what I refer to. But I do it anyway. Why? Because if all we do for the rest of our lives is ask "why" or look at something as too dangerous then we never accomplish that which we are left at times on this earth to do. I go into the situation, and I am with one other person, a male law person, the buffer between the one trying to at times run for their lives and the one trying to prevent them from doing so. This last "trip" into the land of darkness was not a very good one, in fact it cost me dearly, but through the skills of a surgeon I am okay and will be back to writing soon, in a week I hope. What is my training for this? Kick boxing, several steps of defense courses with firearms and short blades, and the ability to sense that which alot of the time the law enorcement people cannot. This time I was the buffer. I took the hits. Trust me, I got some in till he was cuffed and she was safely out of the house and into the ambulance, where I was placed shortly after. How often do I do this? When I am called upon. Thus the reason I live in the mountains and have horses and dogs and fences and peace around me. It sickens me everytime I have to do an internevtion on behalf of someone that is being mistreated by another. But it sickens me worse when they are allowed to continue. So I go and I do that which I can do and do well. It costs me, oh it does. It costs me personal relationships greatly, simply because until now, since I need to recover from this last trip and take a break so to speak, I can write about it. But until now I could not. What are my qualifications? My degree, my training and my sheer hatred of the horrors that humans can aflict upon others. But I am now back and as soon as the bandage comes off the othr eye I will be able to answer all your comments. This is, I firmly believe why I was left alive those years past. This is also why, except for my guarded property in MO I am so mobile in my home. It has cost me the bing able to be here for you that are my friends and I miss that. And it has cost me someone dear and so held close to my heart that still the thought of him breaks me in two. But I do what I do because I have to. So understand it or not, I am a "rescue person". I go and take the injured out. And if that costs me a friendship or two, I figure it is well, not that much of a cost compared with the saving of a life. So that is what I do. And I look forard to seeing what you all have been doing in the past weeks. More than I could ever begin to tell.

Love to you all -

Katarina

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil I CAN LOOSE MYSELF AGAIN http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12594654/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12594654/ Sat, 09 Jun 2007 05:37:57 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

June 9, 2007

A stallion calls and Mama answers! I swear he is such an adorable baby and a little put out at me for the moment. Jewelize then in the mares encampment is nudging me in the back as I move among them. Oh them eyes!. If you are confused, I did a deviation with all my stock but two on them, the new stallion, and the new mare, both solid black. It is called Equine Constellation. I was given a gift this morning by a dear dear friend and thought I would share it with you. I an hardly wait to dance to it! But, breeding business first then fun! Here it is!

ENYA lyrics Â ÂIf I Could Be Where You AreÂ

Where are you this moment?
Only in my dreams.
YouÂre missing, but youÂre always
A heartbeat from me.
IÂm lost now without you,
I donÂt know where you are.
I keep watching, I keep hoping,
But time keeps us apart

Is there a way I can find you,
Is there a sign I should know,
Is there a road I could follow
To bring you back home?

Winter lies before me
Now youÂre so far away.
In the darkness of my dreaming
The light of you will stay

If I could be close beside you
If I could be where you are
If I could reach out and touch you
And bring you back home
Is there a way I can find you
Is there a sign I should know
Is there a road I can follow
To bring you back home to me

:just smiles:

June 8, 2007

Dear friends, watchers and others of the community that I watch,

I will be off line for two weeks do to some business that requires I must travel and take care of. It shall occur on June 10th when I am leaving. I shall return and be up and running I am sure with some more work inspired. I shall post the last part of "Michael's Story" about the quail, before my leaving, and answer what comments I can get too. Until then, May you all be held safe, may your hearts be filled with gladness, may your eyes see only the beauty in all things, even in the ugliest, for I believe that even there you can find some beauty for your soul. And may your mind be at peace, at all times, as well as your soul.

I also came by way of his visit to my page, a Deviant I believe worth noting [link] I got lost in every picture that he has done, please check out his work, it will not be for naught you do so. Also, [link] is doing some fantastic stuff as well as [link] and [link] Also [link] is doing some beautiful photography of his daughter. Please check them out!

I shall carry you all with me in my heart, especially my Nameless Lady, my Pen's Master, my beloved immortal, and my Prince of the Oasis, as well as the one who is wise in both heart and mind and displays it in her imagination's moments, such visions are inspired, as well also as a Man of VooDoo who writes outstanding tales. I wish I could be more specific about this trip but want to wait and see what the outcome is before telling you all.

Again, remember, it is not true writing till your soul bleeds out onto the page, and stains it red with its passions.

always,

katti

June 4, 2007

Yes, little Miss No Technical deleted her last two journals! Why? I don't know! I figure if kids can use that excuse so can I! So lost is what I had put in there, but I shall find something else soon and it shall be put in here. As I am typing this, I am exhausted!How does a stallion know that you are coming for a precious t... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil CRIPPLED PARTNER IN RHYME http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12580210/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12580210/ Fri, 13 Apr 2007 12:23:29 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

The lovers -

[link] & [link]

HI!

Well as some of you may know, Wizillusions, also to me known as the Pen's Master and I have been trying to finish our collaberation on our mutual account MutualEndeavors. Well just as I am back full strength, he finds himself with a computer that is rebelling. SO -
we shall finish it as soon as we can. We have plans, if ImaginedMoments will let us, to write a collaberation together for her Prayers deviation she so kindly did. I hope she says yes! In the meantime I am being bombarded with some well hard to put my finger on it, but some power to write and I cannot write of anything but my soul dancing most of the time. So there maybe alot of deviations that deal with love, it is in the air! (points to the links in her journal) truly so! So I hang in there and wait and hope that soon the Pen's Master will dip his quill in the magic of ink and spur me on with his inspirations. Maybe I should write a love poem for he and his wife and cheer him up. Hmmmm -
:ideas begin and she leaves the journal in a "Poof":

katti

NEWS! NEWS! NEWS!

Some of you may remember my girlfriend, who will be living here with me as soon as her little house is done, has a son in dire need. He had cancer. The doctors had said only 10-12 weeks to live. Well - I want to thank all of you, in no matter what way you did it or who you spoke to for praying for him. Tric spoke to me for over two hours today and he is now in chemo, and the tumor has shrunk to the size of a small nectarine, and he is expected to have a full recovery. The chemo is killing off the cancer. She thanks all of you from the bottom of her heart as do I. She is adopted family to me, she needs a family, and I need her. Than you again. Pam, your deviation has a triumph!

katti

April 14, 2007

I am disabled. I do not look it to gaze upon me, but I am and the cause of it was at the hands of another human being. Why is it that alot of people think that because someone is disabled they are suddenly different in their hearts and souls. We are not. We still enjoy the same joys we had before, we still love the same loves we did before and we still do alot of the same things we used to do before, and are not crippled by the vision of someone who is not disabled. Oddly enough, I have found in the six years that I have been this way - that it is those that have faced horrors in life and perhaps become disabled by them that find life richer, see love deeper, understand stronger the need to stretch out a helping hand. It is amazing to be disabled, I have learned alot about life, when you are knocked flat on your back for awhile all you can do easily is look up. I think that is a marvelous place to look for guidance.

katti

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil CONGRADULATIONS http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12526241/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12526241/ Tue, 10 Apr 2007 09:21:45 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

If one is to love, then youth is best for the ways of a pure heart
If one is to love, then youth is the time for them to learn where to start
If one is to love, then they must know one thing most of all
Be it in youth, middle age, or the final days of our lives -
Be true to their heart, hold it close, then closer still
Be sure they are the ones that you put first, or the day may come when they are not there for you to even make that choice.

Congradulations on love to two watchers of mine,

[link] & his Lady [link]

It blazes as does the fire of its touch for those that understand the power of it - passion - it is what we all desire and strive for when we do not see that the greatest start of passion is in how we gift it to others - passion - let it take you over, let it be your guide, let it be all that you want to be, let it teach you where to go to let all the secret places where it lies in you fly free - passion - oh how sweet.

April 10, 2007

I am packing my clothes and trying hard to get all the comments I can answered at the sametime. My final purchase is ready for the trip home to the moutains, quite a change from where he is at the moment I assure. And yes he also has the same purebred Egytian lines as the others do. He is solid black and I am so excited about that fact. I am also excited about seeing him again. I remember the first time I looked into those huge dark eyes, and I saw his soul seeking out mine, he laid his nose in the palm of my hand and the velvet touch of it was overwhelming - I had to close my eyes to abosrb all I could feel in him. He has a spirit of the wind in him and he is still very free, and so he shall always as long as he is in my care be.

I shall be going with with my faithful travelling companion. She is my mother, and it was on the trip made to Lebanon that we learned of him, and when we saw him it was love at first sight. So back we trek, on long flights, to settle into a hotel and lay on the beds s we let the jet lag make ussuffer for only an hour. Then off to the ship offices to make arrangements for the three of us, as soon as he is home I shall take a picture of him settled in and maybe a few as he sees the ladies there are for him. The other pictures from the earlier trip are ready now. My mother is a fantastic photographer. I so love her work and before I go hope to at least post a few of where she lives in her own private oasis. It is a place of magic and such peace, just as is the new home I have, we are lucky, I am lucky she loves me.

May all of you take care, and I shall not be leaving for about a week and a half yet so as I said hope to get your comments answered.

K

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil Devious Journal Entry http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12526131/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12526131/ Mon, 09 Apr 2007 14:24:00 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil Devious Journal Entry http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12516392/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12516392/ Sun, 08 Apr 2007 20:32:55 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

There is salt in waves just as in the waves of my tears
There is light where there are fears
There is confusion if you can see the path
What do you make of that?

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil MIRACLES AND HOPE http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12437196/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12437196/ Mon, 02 Apr 2007 21:04:07 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

I have had two miracles happen to me in the lat few days. One is about my friend Tric's son and how the love of a mother and the hope of a friend can work in a life. The tumor was first the size of a grapefruit when it was found. Three days ago with no medical assistance, it had shrunk to the size of a peach and the doctors are astounded. Each day he improves, and they shake their heads, but Tric and I, ah we know, for she loves him and I pray for her and him and I hope. We know that this thing that has begun as something so small, confounding doctors, will be as a seed in the lives of all it touches. She is smiling and in her voice as we talk, I can hear her joy. And she tells me there is joy to be gained from my sadness, long gone, long gone, but still sometimes the shadows lurk. She smiles and I can feel her loving me as a mother sometimes, or at least an older sister, and I listen to her wisdom and I know now that she is right.

I have had my own personal miracle happen to me as well. I have found hope, hope, a star in the east, shining, showing me the way. The way to the road that I already know I shall walk down, I am racing as I am thinking this, on the back of a dark colored arabian, in the coolness of the morning chill, feeling it caress my cheeks as over the fields we go, my Matador and I, making my cheeks rosy and my heart glow. I have had two iracles happen to me in the last few days, no three, for I am smiling with dreams again.

This is a poem Tric wrote to the three of us helping her, she said to put it on here!

Three Guardians

A heart broken, a soul set adrift in a sea of tears, that is what I feel, that is what I see.
I know he is a king that deserves a queen, but I am not a queen.
I am a long lost child of the universe, yearning for that which escapes me.
But I do not or ever 'give up'.
Facing the saddest time of my life at this moment..
Silks and satin are not what I am.
Pain, sadness, broken hearted is what I have always known, why should it change now?
I have always danced alone, faced life's toughest struggles alone. And now I have this to face
but its different now .. I have guardian angels, three to be exact. And for that my gratefulness is limitless.
Greg, a man with problems all his own, but he gave me the most exqusite gift today, he is quitting his smoking..
Chaz, the same thing. Two men whom are different but on the same wave length doing the same thing.
And then there is Katherine...a sweet, caring sweetheart of a lady. We have much in common for being so far in age. Age is only a number, its what the heart feels and beats for.
These are my guardian angels and I am not alone anymore.
Thank you, all three of you precious angels, without you I would crumple into a heap on the floor ...sobbing .
I dearly love all three of you. Thank you for taking me into your lives, its meant so much.
May God Bless You Three Angels.

Love,
Tricia

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil INSIGHT AND OUT SIGHT http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12374580/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12374580/ Thu, 29 Mar 2007 11:25:28 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

I spoke today with the friend that is coming to live at the guest cottage that is a minature of my house in these mountains. Her son is dying of cancer and has 10 to 12 weeks to live. As we talked, I realized this one thing, all the pain of a broken heart, all the hurt of a friend's betrayal, all the anger we speak at times is right now so small to me. Please understand I am not saying it is not important, we need to treat each other kinder, but what I am saying is that my pain is not at all equal to her's at this moment.
And yet she amazes me. She is going to him and tell him of her love for him, she is going to assure him that she will be okay, and she is going to tell him they will see each other again, whole and in peace one day. And she is praying. This is her belief as it is my own, and in all that she in her darkest hour for any parent is going to gift to her son the wonderful gift of the peace of knowing she will be okay. When I look at that and I let it sink into the soil of my soul, her's and my favorite flowers begin to bloom and they are violets. Wild and tiny violets. Purple and in so many shades of it, the color I have always attributed to royalty. Today Tric is teaching me the meaning of being royal, royal in the sense that she is like a queen going into battle, to conquer her fears and pain and to hold her head up and be for her son brave. That is royalty. And to me she is a Queen this day, a Queen that deserves all the love and respect I can give her as well as the comfort and love and caring for her. In that way I shall serve her, and love her, and continue to let her teach her younger friend the meaning of regalness and love true. And so I am grateful that in this time of her greatest sorrow, I can be her friend and pay back to her all those hours of time that she, even if in her mind only held me while I cried. I shall serve a Queen, my friend now, and learn the deeper meaning of love.

k

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil I AM HOME AND LOST STILL http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12352804/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/12352804/ Tue, 27 Mar 2007 16:47:41 PDT I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

forever only comes true in fairytales
the prince only exists in fables of old
and love exists only in a tarnished band of gold.

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil HITTING THE ROAD http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/11998507/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/11998507/ Wed, 28 Feb 2007 09:51:36 PST I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

The time has finally come for me to "hit the road"! I cannot describe how it feels to be going home. Home. A place of green lush valleys and seasons that actually have meaning to them - snow in winter, colored leaves in the fall, warm easy breezes in the summer and violets that cover fields like a carpet of purple in spring. It is a place that holds two houses made of logs, one that is the main house and one that is a smaller version for a friend of mine who is alone but not for long. She will be living there, safe and surrounded by a family that will love her as her own. The stables are ready and the horses know now that something huge is happening! And it is! There is a peace in this place, a peace that can be found in the middle of the Ozarks. The 14 acres is on land owned by my family for generations and sits in a part of Mark Twain National Park. The roads are dirt roads, and the cars that go down them belong to those, who like my family are priviledged to live in such God created beauty. I am excited! I am at the same time at peace with all this I am doing. And I know that I will be at peace now in the very depths of me as we set up home.
I am out of this desert for good, and save for only one place that rests in the Sonoran desert, I shall never set foot back in Nevada again. For those of you that live there, it is not the state - it is the non-city of Las Vegas I refer to. There is no meaning to the word 'no' in Las Vegas. There is no reason to say it even, for there is no understanding of human respect and no ability of those that now reside there to understand the dignity of women. Not all the people there feel this way, but it is not really a city as one thinks of a city. The sky scrapers are all casinos and gentlemen clubs. Odd, gentlemen clubs, I have never met a gentleman that would consider them true entertainment. The preparation for the trip has kept me from writing and will continue to do so for a little while longer as we work to set-up all that makes a house a home. But the ideas for works are there and I will be submitting again soon - as soon as I am settled.

I shall be turning off my comments as I have no ability nor time to respond to them as I continue to recover and work at making a home. I am happy, truly and completely happy and that in and of itself is producing words that my muse is making notes of for me to put to paper.

And I have found that which has been elusive in my life for awhile. Love - honest, true soul felt, heart matched love. He is wonderful. He is a man by every definition of the word, and he is a gentle spirit, one that has the ability to create around him an aura of peace just by his pescence. I am amazed and honored he has chosen me, but he has and we shall be uniting as one being, one heart, one soul, never to part, when I don the wedding gown he helped me pick out and we marry in the garden by the lagoon shaped style pool in our garden behind our house. The very house he himself designed for us.

I pray that all of my friends will be well, and I pray also that my muse will be able to help me put down all that he is to me in ways that convey to all how lucky I truly am.
Life is good, true love is grand and the touch of a true lover's hand as his fingers intertwine with my own as we do each night before we drift off to sleep is a comfort I to this point only dreamed of. Till we meet again - here on these pages - sooner than one will think possible - may all that is good come your way and may those of you find love.
The trick is not to go looking for it but to let it come to you and it will. Till then - be well.

K

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil RECOVERY! AND FINALY TRAVEL! http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/11842031/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/11842031/ Fri, 16 Feb 2007 12:24:47 PST I found such a place inside of me
And then I asked the one that meant the most to me
If she would mind accompanying me.

Long time in updating this journal I know. First and foremost I want to thank all of you for your comments and notes and well just your support. I finally gave in and let them fix my knee, the LAST of the cutting that shall be done on me. Once more I am as I was before, and I am dancing through my days, and waltzing through my nights, for I have a secret!
A secret that is oh so awesome I must share it with you, I have finally begun building of my dream house and have the horses in their stable! It came first! The house is a log home in the hills of a lush green part of this country. It is in the forest named for that great man by the name of Clemmens. Both houses actually are being built as I wanted a seperate guest house for those that need it. Second I went shopping! Such a joy!
I bought long loose dresses of silks in colors of blue, purple, red, and orange and green. They are long and some are short and others are well
just plain shorter. I got new shoes! I am new all around and my soul is full of passion as I pack them in trunks. I am going on a trip long overdue, and I may accomplish something great or I may just see great things, either way, I shall not be disappointed. I am hoping the first comes true, but only the wishes of mine to a star know that answer to that. I am free and able to dance to the moon on its rays! It is a good time to be alive! And my muse has agreed as she has returned and words are flowing in mass, bear with me, I shall be taking the means to post photos and works.

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil ROSES FALLING AND THE SHADOWS GATHER http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/11559430/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/11559430/ Wed, 24 Jan 2007 23:08:47 PST Trying, trying, trying to keep out the Invading Chills they whisper of providing.
My body is not my own anymore, it belongs to sensations so raw
That I lie here praying for death - such is the Rose Petal Shadows of withdrawal.

There is no explaining how horrific is the feeling you have when life threatening withdrawals upon you are shoved. Withdrawals who any drug tech could tell you can kill you in a moments flash, such is the harshness of them, thus do the doctors when they prescribe them monitor them in small doses till the deed is done with as little pain and sufferring other than that as I went through one night. Withdrawal immediate from either of the drugs mentioned here [link] can cause strokes, heart attacks, seizures that can kill you, and the list goes on. Yes there are times when intervention saves a life, but those are the times that you see the person, are close enough to evaluate them and you know them well enough to see it is time for such. But what happened to me was like a tidal wave, it was as if all that sustained me in my ability to be an everyday person in just walking without pain was gone in one moment of rashness. I was able to dance - the very love of my life since I was three, it was gone in a moment and the nightmare of withdrawal shoved on me. I can only ask this of any of you who read this at some point - talk to the person, see them, go to them, then if intervention is needed do so. But don't think that all because a person is hurt and in great emotional pain is a sign that they will end their life. Especially if you know them and you know they have a faith. For it is with faith as well and with that most of all I put my foot on the floor each day, and I use the drugs in even minimal doses, far less than those that that they want me on, for I want to live, feel life, and not be a numbed out zombie that walks around seeing nothing. I watched my son burn to death in a fire, that caused my PTSD, a disease that infiltrates all of your life. I have been told by doctor upon doctor they do not understand how I am alive. There are those that say I am here, I could tell you their names, some are here on DA , that say I am here to keep them alive. PLEASE - all I am asking is the simple steps above. Then intervene if you deem it necessary, then save a life. But here there is never the threat my own life I would take, someone tried to do that for me, that was horror enough and I thank God each day now I live. I look at each day as a gift box, it comes empty with a red ribbon lying beside the top. All I do, or say or think, or act upon that day goes in the box and when at night I lay my head to sleep, the box is tied with the ribbon, put away and can never be re-opened ever again. So if I have messed up, hurt someone deeply in that tied up box all I can do is undo the damage if they let me in the new box of tomorrow. It is my way of checking myself now in all things I do. It works for me, I cannot say if it would work for you. So remember each word you say, each act you do, has an effect on another whether they show it or not. And only you have the power for you have the new box to fix that which you have done. And I pray that you as me, will seek out whatever Higher Power you believe in to help you out. I am blessed to be counted as a friend of this man. And now all I can do is extend what he teaches me each day about loving others in my own life.

Peace to you all and may you find here some tiny speck to reflect upon. And I shall be there for you, in the wind, singing to you, a song, a song whose words are merely this, "You can love, you can forgive, you can overcome this."

"Walk daily as if it were the last day of your life.
Act in that day in the way you would have others remember you, think of you as one of kindness, compassion, and love. May no word cross your lips that carries in it poison to destroy, and may you come to know the peace that living this way each day can give to your life, enriching it and in it you will find treasure beyond that which none other can compare."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil TIS THE REASON http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/11049934/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/11049934/ Wed, 13 Dec 2006 10:50:55 PST I can hear the sweet, sweet sound
Of voices lifted in joint participation
As they about this season sing out.

When you think the well is at its deepest, and you cry out in anquish and breaking of your heart, it takes all you have and then some help from another's hand to help you get back up over the top. From SGH to the Pen's Master I say thank you with all my heart for t'was your hand that was extended and I saw as I climbed up over the edge of that well, the glory of the scenes of illumination that created a magical inspiration to want joy, love and happiness always in my life. It is from one that saw in me a roaring panther that I received such beautiful inspiration to keep moving on and the recognition that it was okay that if I could jump only four feet not to try for six at all, at least not until I was sure that I would not fall. It is also from one here who pictured me in a deviation entitled by my user name, as an angel and if I am, well, I, like Clarence in the movie "It's A Wonderful Life", am an angel second class as I am sure my halo is not straight and I have no wings yet at all. It is from that representation that I gained spiritual strength to open up my heart. It is from many others of my friends, it is from you who have taken the time and the attention to encourage me onward, so many of you have that to mention you all here would take a deviation space I am sure! So it is because of your 'gifts' to me that I can say with a smile and with peace, it is a season of love for I walk alone no more. And for the gift of one saying yes to me asking if we could exchange special gifts when asked what I wanted for Christmas that night cracked and dawn has begun. It is for all of you that I write the following, I hope you get its point.

"There was a tiny wee bairn borne upon a night with a chillin wind blowin,
Under the glitterin of a new star that was aglowin so bright.
In that moment this wee babe changed the world on such a freezin night
And all the trees that be decorated and all the gay wrapped presents that under them be alayin, are merely representations of what He can do to your heart.
If ye will let Him, peace He ye will be abringin, joy He shall be asprinklin, and love
He shall wrap ye in and ner from yer side will He ever be departin.
I wish for all of ye, no matter what is your basis of believin that same peace
that He did to me go agivin when I asked Him into my life to be alivin, and from it
He shall ner be departin.
If tears should come, His hand they will wipe away
If despair rears, with His words He shall comfort me
If the darkness of memories should try to place me under its foot,
He shall be the Warrior King, borne in that chillin wind, that shall be the one
That in a word send them aflyin, ner I believe ever again to be tryin to torture
me again at all.
So from me to you, all the friends I have here, I be awishin this one special blessin
And that be merely this, that ye take with thee the thought of this season and
carry it with ye in your hearts on into Spring, then into Summer and Fall,
Till it be for ye a revelation that compassion, kindness, peacemakin and love
Are not only for a wee bit of the year but for every day of every season
So ye shall know without a doubt that I be meanin true this wish I have for ye all -

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND MAY YOURS BE DAYS AS SUCH ALL YEAR ROUND!"

"Then maybe we would understand that we need each other, in friendship some, in love others, and then such a revelation could once more indeed change our speculation of how life ought to be, then we could feel the Magic of the Season, the giving, the loving, the special kindnesses given - throughout every day of our lives."

K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil REFUSING http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/10744609/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/10744609/ Thu, 16 Nov 2006 12:14:38 PST I am tired of the nightmares
I am tired of being strong
So I shall lay me down to sleep

After several days of quiet meditation and prayer I have decided I cannot let the pain and the resolution of some of it I am facing drive me away from DA. That is why I am calling this journal "Refusing". I am soon to be undergoing a medical procedure that is to 'supposed' to help with my back pain. I use the word 'supposed' to because my last surgery was a failed back surgery and gifted me with more pain. I today re-visited a picture on the gallery of MoonMystress who is one of my dearest friends. We understand each other's daily struggles. She is a dear dear woman and one that deserves only golden days and moon filled nights of joy. Thank you Jade for the gift, even if it was not for me, I count it as a gift cause it reminded me a new day does dawn each morning. Now it is long due and here it is - the thanks to those of you that have done special deviations for me.

Flavia - [link] entitled La Colombe de Deuil

ImaginedMoments - [link] who did a photo manipulation as well for her series I am Woman Hear Me Roar, for me using the black panther, my favorite large feline, something she did not know.

Wizillusions - [link] who did numerous works of incredible poetry for me, amazing words they are.

Kimoz - [link] who also did several works fro me including one entitled "Dance Katarina Dance"

and to all the other friends I have here at DA who have not ceased to support me in so many different ways.

To all of you this I say -

To have the love of a friend is a special gift
It is the touch of a hand when you most need it
It is the soft whispered word of encouragement to you when you are spent
It is the understanding and giving of compassion from those who too have had their hearts cracked.
If you have any of these gifts, then count thyself most blessed of beings.

Finally, I say to a Beloved Immortal this, to have you as a friend was marvelous, and in my heart that feeling still remains, as well as the empty place where once there dwelt you - empty but not forgotten are you there, as everyday I visit that place and a rose is left in rememberance.

I shall be disabling my comments at the end of the month of November. I hope to get all my messages answered before then, but sitting is getting increasingly more difficult each day and I do not wish to be put into a drug filled daily haze.

May all of you remember if nothing else, here in the US we will soon be celebrating Thanksgiving. It is a time of thanks and a time of giving. One of my two favorite of holidays, for in the giving you receive a 1000 times more back the kindness you extend. So I say try it and see if what I say is not true. Give and watch what is given in return. This is my gift to all of you.

Thank you for all of your support and I look forward to the continuation of the relationships I have with those of you on DA I do. May all be well with all of you, may your days be golden and your nights be soft and warm, full of joy, and may all you wish for, desire for and need be granted to you all.

"It is better to walk alone among the shadows, to live alone behind the walls, than to live among the light and hear the words of those that do not understand nor even try to find enligh... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil FAILING http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/10717898/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/10717898/ Mon, 13 Nov 2006 22:41:05 PST I am tired of the nightmares
I am tired of being strong
So I shall lay me down to sleep

I do not believe that I shall be around DA much longer. The stay has been great but I can no longer keep up. We shall see, but time my friends is stacked against me. Time, is a cruel mistress, and she has called in the markers I owe her.

"It is better to walk alone among the shadows, to live alone behind the walls, than to live among the light and hear the words of those that do not understand nor even try to find enlightenment and ability to have compassion in the understanding at all."
K ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil Real Life and Yes You Effect Others http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/10485302/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/10485302/ Mon, 23 Oct 2006 09:33:15 PDT

It is for me unfortunately the time that I address an issue that has been almost a living and breathing entity that lives day and night inside of me. There are times in peoples lives when whatever it is, be it the trauma of another's death, the trauma of abuse, the trauma of seeing something, the trauma of being the victim of another's willful actions to hurt you, whatever the case - trust me when I say, those actions do effect others. I am one of them. I have addressed this before but after what happened to me last night online I feel I need to explain this in a manner that there is left in no one's mind any doubt or question of the implications and effect of what I refer to. I am writing about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Allow me here to try to quote to the best of my knowledge the definition of how the mind is effected with this disease. I do not have the particular book with me where I am now but the title of it is "Borderlines/PTSD in Therapy" by Dr. Jerome Kroll. I am not a borderline but I do suffer from full blown PTSD to the extent that for a person of five feet seven at the weight of 110 pounds, most of which is mostly leg, I take 1 milligram of Klonopin three times a day just to keep it at bay. Klonopin is like valium, it is a drug in the same drug category. Dr. Kroll has stated the following and again I cannot quote it directly but shall do my best to apply as correctly as I can his words to the description of the disease.

"A sufferer of PTSD when triggered goes through several stages and once the stages have begun unless a drug like any benzetropine can be administered there is no stopping the progression of the effects of the actions that triggered the start. Immediately, the sufferer goes back in time, it is akin to seeing a movie in one's mind, but yet unfortunately unlike a movie one can get up and leave from. The one effected is stuck in the movie, reliving over and over again whatever memory has been 'triggered' by the actions of others. Once triggered, if the one that has been is in anyway further traumatized by say yelling, or having someone in some form telling them negative and abusive things about themselves, it only serves to perpetrate deeper the trauma the person is already suffering. As the progression furthers, the sufferer begins to not only feel the actual emotions of that time, but now feels the somatic sensations (physical sensations) of the event that triggered the disease in them in the first place. These can stem from minor slaps to the actual feeling of severe attacks. To attack a sufferer in this state is only to prolong the triggered attack that is already in existence and make it worse, thus making for the PTSD sufferer an already painful situation far more painful both emotionally and physically."

The book of Dr. Kroll then goes on but I shall try to put in my own words what this means. It means telling someone that suffers from it to "get over it" only causes them to feel more unworthy as no matter how hard they try, there is no forgetting, there is no "getting over it." It also means it is not and this I must repeat, it is NOT the fault of the one effected with PTSD that they have this disease. They did not ask to be raped. They did not ask to be abused. They did not ask to be shot, They did not wake up one day and say,'Gee I think I will get PTSD today so I can suffer with nightmares, either while awake or asleep. So I can have triggers that throw me into a state of fear sometimes so deep I am lost in the place I thought I was in." Ask of yourself would you do that? Would you even want that? If the answer to either of those questions is no, then I ask you then why do you expect those that have the disease to be the ones responsible for the attaining of it? I do not mean all of you out there, but there are those, and unfortunately some of them are those that have the disease themselves, that do blame the attainment of the PTSD on the victim instead of where the blame should lie and that is on the one that caused the trauma or traumas. It is, to my knowledge, one of the only diseases, where the victim is held to be at fault. Why is that? Has our society of humanity sunk so low into the instant demand of everything such as instant coffee, fast food, etc, that we have lost the ability to see a mental disease NOT chosen but inflicted as the cause of the victim? How sad we are if indeed that is where we have gone. Sadder yet the thoughts that it can be instantly fixed when in reality it may never be at all.

I suffer from full blown Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, plain and simple, there it is. And if you think the choice of the word "suffer" is to gain sympathy oh how wrong you are. For those that have it do suffer. They suffer from the disease itself. They suffer at the hands of those that say they love them as... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil HAPPINESS http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/10234991/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/10234991/ Sat, 30 Sep 2006 09:34:49 PDT
Run To You

I know that when you look at me
There's so much that you just don't see
But if you would only take the time
I know in my heart you'll find
Oh, a girl who's scared sometimes
Who isn't always strong, can't you see the hurt in me?
I feel so all alone

Chorus:
I wanna run to you hoo hoo
I wanna run to you hoo hoo hoo
Won't you hold me in your arms
And keep me safe from harm?
I wanna run to you hoo hoo
But if I come to you hoo hoo hoo hoo
Tell me will you stay or will you run away
Each day, each day I play the role
Of someone always in control
But at night, I come home and turn the key
There's nobody there, no-one cares for me
Oh, what's the sense
Of trying hard to find your dreams
without someone to share it with
Tell me what does it mean
Repeat Chorus:

Run away no
I need you here
I need you here to wipe away my tears
To kiss away my fears
If you only knew, how much I wanna run to you

Chorus:
I wanna run to you
I wanna run to you
Won't you hold me in your arms
And keep me safe from harm?
I wanna run to you
But if I come to you
Tell me will you stay or will you run away

The picture that corresponds to this is in my gallery. ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil Devious Journal Entry http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/10130778/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/10130778/ Sun, 24 Sep 2006 09:51:09 PDT
A Lady Slips Away

aye into each life there comes a time where we must nae deny that the wind has called to us, that the sea has whispered our secret name, and we canna deny the callin of them as both in unison cry, "Away, away, ride the golden road and find the path to your paradise." and I must, I must for I canna deny the wind and the ocean anymore, for my heart lies broken, my spirit has no more fight, my soul has lost, and I into the peace of the darkness must retire and softly say to you all for a time, "Good night, farewell, may peace guide thy way, and if the time be right and the wind allows me, on the softest flakes of winter I shall once more descend, but until then, God grant you all the desires of your hearts.

Laird of the Sidhe Jack Flynn and His Sidhe Lady Love Kay Merrick-Flynn of the Mystic Isles:

Jack:
None of those gathered yet knew of how stunned the guards at the Keep stood, nor the "fairy" tales that it would spin. The tales would fly true, later on, tales of how a silvery road had formed within the very air of the Highland moors paved in nothing but moonbeams, a road that was well used as any force trail, a road that huge silver-trunked trees with their wide reaching boughs of ripe, juicy stars formed a great canopy over the path. They spoke in hushed tones of how one of the fabled Sidhe lairds had ridden his massive black charger upon the fragile path (for a road of moonbeams was only as thick as glass) through the winding trees that held the night sky. Those ladies that had seen whispered of how the lady Lady Merrick had caught the Sidhe Lord's tricorn, how she had danced in a small circle of joy and rapture, hugging the battered trophy close. The cheeks of fair maidens would blush in romance and envy when their mouths recounted how the Sidhe Laird had leaned down from his mount (his hand perfectly fitting the cheek of the Lady Merrick) and softly kissed his lady love's ruby lips. The Sidhe Laird had swept his lady true upon his coal-black charger, and in awe the vicar spoke of how in the wake of love true the path had dissolved into moon-dust behind the charger. Even now, the charger flew as though of Pegasus' lineage despite the two forms upon it's back. Curled into the chest of her Sidhe was the Lady Merrick, who smiled (was it possible?) shyly up to her Sidhe Laird. All about them flew lesser faes and sprites, spreading word for all of the Courts to hear. "He's found it!
The emerald, he's found it! Love reigns true, for he has found it!"

Kay:
Aye was true, true indeed, for his lady was with him now complete, complete in her own heart, that was no longer her own, but his, as was her soul, and her mind, and her body for what lady who loved as this one did could forfeit the ecstasy of the feel of her lover's arms around her as she lay sleeping after love had completed the circle around them both, binding them for eternity one to the other, aye she was curled into the chest of the very man that had pulled her from the sea, then placed her life afore his own, risking all, including his crew's mutiny, to gain for her back that precious sixth stone that through it was all of her completed in the love of her for Jack Flynn, auburn hair was topped with a worn tri corner hat, the very same one that had the night afore, granted to Kay and Jack the gift of the Ride of the Golden Way of Love that rang true and pure, emerald eyes glistened with the fire of her for him, a hand would raise and softly caress his cheek, the other would reach up and check with the wind's influence the staying upon her head of that hat of myth now, the hat that the great Sidhe Laird had freed her with, her lips were indeed in a smile, she was in heaven in Jack's arms.

(And so it is in this piece from a roleplay that I have done with this player for quite awhile now I find the right way to say, yes, the wind calls, the ocean whispers out my secret name, and this Lady must for a time slip away. If for no other reason than to save my heart that at this moment is breaking apart, or to save my soul, that at this moment is no longer mine anymore, and to save my spirit that seems to have died, I must slip away to stir the embers to see if there remains any spark inside. I shall not be submitting till I can do so in the true sense of my own. I shall be checking with those of you I love, and watching those I watch. I love you all that have supported me as friends, and I remain ever your friend as well, but I lost something way back in the spring and it has finally dragged me to my own personal hell. So I shall wait till the light breaks through and then I shall return to write for you, until then I must slip away, just as the Lady Merrick-Flynn does, so do I, I ride away on the Golden Road.)

Katti

ps: I am putting this in my jour... ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil DREAMS DO COME TRUE http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/9976333/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/9976333/ Wed, 13 Sep 2006 22:46:19 PDT Piercing the Dawn
Tis a Cry
Dear To Most
Tis a Cry Dreary to One
Tis The Cry Of The Mourning Dove

I am posting here three pics of what I got! IT is the reason I have not been posting much as they have taken alot of time. I am submitting the pics in my scraps with an explanation under each of them! I am in heaven!

Someone asked me if I were in love because of the icon! I am! With the thought of the time of serenity I shall find with my new friends, my mares I am getting as they will be finished off woth their training in November! IT seems so far off yet the days tick by quickly!

May you find peace in the midst of strife
May you find love in the midst of your life ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil A WALKER AMONG THE WIRES! http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/9813448/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/9813448/ Tue, 22 Aug 2006 08:18:14 PDT Piercing the Dawn
Tis a Cry
Dear To Most
Tis a Cry Dreary to One
Tis The Cry Of The Mourning Dove

This is probably one of the hardest journalsI have had to write. It seems that someone who was trusted has found their way into my computer, which is why I havenot been checking you DA's from those I watch and only sending notes through the DA note system. He hit three of my friends as well and not only cost two of us our computer harddrives, but money from fraudulent VISA purchases.
I am not going to say who it is but I will say this - I am heartbroken by it. I am afraid of passing anything on the galleries of all you who I find I enjoy so much. So after writing everything down to zeros tonight I shall begin the busniess of reloading after I burn off all my writings etc. "IT is a sad day here in Black Rock!"

Katti

May you find peace in the midst of strife
May you find love in the midst of your life ]]> *LaColombeDeDeuil Declaration of a Heart http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/8989696/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/8989696/ Mon, 14 Aug 2006 11:04:48 PDT Piercing the Dawn
Tis a Cry
Dear To Most
Tis a Cry Dreary to One
Tis The Cry Of The Mourning Dove

August 14, 2006

I am almost better! Whee! It no longer hurts to breath! And I can sit up longer so now I need to get all the things that my muse would not let go, tweaked and submitted! I added the beginning to "Mystic Isles". Along with a piece I may need to tweak call "Love Is Like Unto A Child". I am also adding part two that goes with the piece of California dreaming of a teen age girl. It will be a lead in to the third and final piece that will hold the 'secret' I have been keeping! I want to thank all of you who wished me such wonderful thoughts of hugs and hopes! And Wiz will be getting his wiriting partner back so we can finish part three of the four part work on our mutual site Mutual Endeavors. The hardest thing I have to do is take it easy! That is the order I was given as I was let loose to get back to work. Special thank yous go to those of you that know who you are I am sure that have been noting me and wishing me well! Thank you all especially! Now I hope that this update does help me get back to work at a pace agreeable to my doctor's orders. I have missed you all so very much! You all mean to me so very much! I continue to pray for you Frances, we have a mission as you say, and we both need to get well to finish it , what ever that is! Thank you again for all you all have done!

hugs to all!

katti

July 14, 2006

Yes I am sick. Actually I am very sick! And I have been for almost two weeks! Did you know that two weeks can seem like an eternity? My voice sounds like gravel being poured, my throat hurts from the coughing due to the inflamation and infection in my lungs. It is very frustrating for me because usually I am able to sit up and at least answer all the comments and messages, well as many as I can at one time!Being sick is for me a time to rally the troops. By this I mean calling into action all of those little entities that in my blood will battle the nasty icky germs I have got! I hate being sick! Most of all because it keeps me from speaking with those of you I watch and consider friends. I am fortunate though, I have two adorable loyal white knights that never leave my side, except in those moments when they let me know they need to. I am also fortunate in that I have someone who is caring for me. Someone of whom I shall be posting soon a work about. It is done, but I am too sick to sit up long enough to type it on. Oh the frustration of the fraility of the human body! And mine at this moment is telling me, more tea with chamomille and honey, more heat on my back and most of all, fluids, fluids fluids and rest, rest, rest! I thank all of you who have commented on my work so far and the new watchers that I have! What a nice and soul lifting surprise to find such as I signed on to tell you all why I have not submitted lately. Hopefully that will be rectified soon, I try to be a paitient person but a paitient paitient I am not! You all are not forgotten, I pray for you and think of you everyday. And if these germs don't leave me soon- well heaven help them!

Always,

Katti

*LaColombeDeDeuil CHANGES WITHIN & WITHOUT http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/8220158/ http://LaColombeDeDeuil.deviantart.com/journal/8220158/ Tue, 02 May 2006 18:02:46 PDT Piercing the Dawn
Tis a Cry
Dear To Most
Tis a Cry Dreary to One
Tis The Cry Of The Mourning Dove

May 2, 2006

I want to thank all of you for the favs and the pageviews and the wonderful comments. I have not answered everyone as I am going through the time after a major Depression and a medication change because of it. If I have not answered you yet I apologize. I am just this week able to go to my pool and lay out, without being ill. One person whose work I treasure did ask me why I chose the dove. This I will answer here. It is the bird of peace. And the dove of the morning here in the states is grey. It just seemed to fit. I have experianced some major changes in the last few weeks and one in particular threw me for a tailspin. But it is all okay now, I hope, I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thank you all.

Xondria,

I have prayed for you and am glad to see you back, your lovely art was missed. I hope this answers all the questions if I am ignoring people, I am trying desperately not to. Without my dearest friends on here and my love,

I could never get through. Again thank you all and I will get to you in time.

Katarina

I have moved! I was here [link] and now am here! So all of you who knew me there will find eventually all my old works as well as my new ones here!

Hope to see you soon.

NEWS!!!!

Our first collaberation for [link] for Xondria's deviation found at the link previous called "Enchanting Moment" is done! It is called "Enchanted Moment" [link] and is on our joint account for our new endeavors strangely enough called Mutual Endeavors [link] which is an account for Wizillusions [link] and me!

Anyone that wishes us to do the same for them please let us know at [link] we will try to oblige you to your satisfaction.

Katarina