http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Laila-Jihad&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Laila-Jihad en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 18:57:33 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/28916331/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/28916331/ Sun, 13 Dec 2009 06:27:04 PST
Today I walked to school and came in late. On the way through the park the pathways were covered in slush and rain. Everything was silent even the ducks who usually greet me on my way. My steps echoed and left fine little prints in the slushy snow. I like being alone. It’s peaceful. All the distractions of life are not there. In these times of quietness I am free. Free to think, free to breath. I am not a bother to anyone nor is anyone a bother to me.

In class the other day we were watching dances with wolves. It came to the part where Lieutenant Dunbar was captured by the cavalry and asked to be a translator in exchange for mercy. I almost cried when he spoke in the Sioux language telling them “I am dances with wolves,” and how they [the cavalry] were not worth talking to. I understood what he meant far more than I think even my teachers and classmates could. Far more than many could.

In my head so many memories come and go. I miss how everything was, so perfect, simple. Playing urban terror after school, getting great grades, I was happy. I felt secure. I know I take for granted now what I didn’t appreciate then. It’s so hard being looked at and treated like I am some loser.

At times I’m so angry and other times it’s hard to fight back tears, but in my times of peace I feel okay. I feel free.

I know these coming months will be hard. Everyone thinks time heals, but sometimes it just wears you down. I will not forget myself. I don’t wish to adjust for that means some change in some form. I do not wish to change and so I won’t.

So I will keep patient, but I cannot promise I won’t cry at times or shake in anger. But dear self I will promise to not give up, to not forget.

I will forever be Laila Jihad.
These people are just not worth talking to.

UPDATES:

*I've gotten so many emails from all around the world from muslims and non muslims. Thank you so much. I don't want to go off into a giant rampage so I will just say being here has been well really stressful but the emails really mean so much to me.

*I'm currently in the process of dropping out of school. But I need a 40 hr a week job. Getting a job has been so hard I have all the physical and everything I just need an actual job. The reason why I'm set on dropping out its a long story. Moving here has set me back quite a bit And now I'm even failing out. However soon enough I will just get my GED. please refrain from leaving comments to me about how I should NOT drop out. I know what I'm doing.

*My older sister is now pregnant with her ex boyfriend of 3 months. So that means I will be living in the basement while she takes my room upstairs. She was also in a car accident like 2 months ago from a drunk driver. Her wrists and hand were crushed/broken so she had to get them reconstructed. Now she can't have ex rays for another year due to her pregnancy.

*I recently got a comment on my muslimspace(muxlim) from a sister who told me she saw my photo on a sign in her city of Medan in Indonesia. Here is the picture she sent me:
[link]

I don't think I'll ask for royalty but i do wish they would have asked for permission. Its so easy for people to take my pics and i don't mind it if they use it for things in support of Islam, i'm just worried people will take my pics and use it for something anti-Islam.

*I bleached my hair blond. To dye the roots costs like 55$ so I think I will just go back to my hennah color which is just an auburn. That's what the stylists tell me is best for me anyway.

*I had a lovely Eid al-adha. Ate lamb and it was a good day.

*Went to the first showing of New moon! Man it was packed.

Also if you want any comments on your new work post a link in the comments and I'll get on that right away. Thanks for reading my journal I hope your not bored to death!

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/27357630/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/27357630/ Tue, 22 Sep 2009 13:51:18 PDT
My last journal entry announced that I had moved to live with my non muslim sister and mother and that I had started to wear the hijab everyday.

So where to start..

I have been banned from the hijab and really even openly practicing Islam. I had fought. Allah knows how hard I tried. However it wasn't enough. There only reason forbidding me to not wear it is that I am not 18 and it could be somehow dangerous. Even though she let my older sister -who is now an apostate along with her- wear it at the very same age.

So I took a flight alone to Dallas Texas from Pa...
I went and visited my biological father I only recently met this Summer. I walked out that door with my head high dawning a pure white hijab after my mother yelled at me and tried to rip it off my head 2 times as I screamed for the police. Then on my way to the airport my fathers mother drove me. She too asked me to take of the hijab and then preached to me for 3 hours about how Jesus saves.

The only thought that came in my head was would she have asked Mary mother of Jesus to remove her hijab?

Arriving at the airport I was the only Muslim in sight and you know what, no one gave me a problem. I boarded that flight alone. It was my very first flight.

Landing in Dallas there too my own biological family bombarded me with more preaching. And due to other reasons those which I won't discuss I was left with no other choice, but to remove the hijab.

The preaching still continued. And after arriving back in PA I discovered my room very empty. All my hijab, all my Islamic books, My Qur'an everything that had anything to do with Islam was gone. My mother than returned the items which she had stuffed into a trash bag as if they were garbage.

Yet her Bibles lay around the house. Her alcohol in the fridge. Her pork in the cupboards.

A complete double standard.

A few weeks later my father's mother - the one who drove me to the airport- calls me. She requests that I not only change my email "Laila_Habibti@yahoo.com", but also tells me my religion isn't true and I'm on a bad path and that all the people who "really" love me are concerned.

I didn't respond as I never do even when she preaches to me I simply shut my mouth and wait for the conversation to pass. So I quickly hung up saying I had to go. And I haven't talked to her since.

My thought was Oh you love me yet where have you been for 16 years. Secondly how dare you say to someone "for one thing it isn't true" about someone's religion when I have been nothing but nice to her.

Respecting her right to her religion even though I think its nothing but paganism in a monotheistic guise. But would I tell her that? No. Because I believe in coexistence. I believe in Peace. I believe in the freedom of religion without compulsion. And all these beautiful ideas are not mine. They are what my religion teaches.

So it leads me to question if this is the way she goes about spreading her beliefs or even persuading me than what does her religion teach her?

Currently no I am not wearing the hijab. So many of my viewers out there have noticed my lack of new art. A New school, a new home, a complete attack on my identity, and all my hopes thrown in the toilet by my blood family.

But I will keep trying to do my art. I will just pray that time be fast. And that my goals next month and after get to be achieved.

Just keep an eye out for some new pics.
I am still watching all of yours even if I am not commenting a lot.

-Laila Jihad

p.s. I went bungee jumping and free falling and jet skiing. It was pretty awesome.

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/26378606/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/26378606/ Tue, 04 Aug 2009 11:07:55 PDT
It's been a long time since I have wrote a journal. I was hoping this Summer I would be have put out some really good art. However my life got a bit turned upside down. My parents have divorced. And now I am forced to live with my non-muslim mother and sister. So I will be going to a new school. I don't like to be pessimistic. And so I am trying to see this as an opportunity.

So, Yesterday Monday August the 3rd I have decided to wear hijab everyday. Alhumdulila.

So keep looking out for new art. And pray for me.

Salaam

-Laila Jihad

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/25482846/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/25482846/ Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:31:45 PDT
I just can't seem to find anything or even have the inspiration to pick up the camera. Is this normal?

ps something is wrong i can't edit the mood below ..

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/23189704/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/23189704/ Sat, 14 Feb 2009 07:28:29 PST
]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/20354801/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/20354801/ Sat, 06 Sep 2008 09:42:18 PDT [link]

I don't want to spend over $700, and I am a beginner. You have probably noticed I haven't been submitting any pieces lately because I feel I have gone as far as I want with my current camera.

I hope to buy the XTi though I can't say when. What package of the link above would you advise me to get? Or maybe you know a better camera or price just link me.

I have been thinking about this Package:

[link]

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/19968253/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/19968253/ Fri, 15 Aug 2008 10:37:47 PDT
I was so mad that I didn't bring my camera because most of the way the Country was so beautiful and perfect for great shots. I promise if I do it again or something I will bring a camera!!

other news:
* going to pickup a package at the post office I wonder what it is but gifts do give me inspiration

* I want to a get a turtle soon and name it Toodles

* I have to get ready to go back to school

* I need to do more photography

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/19852796/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/19852796/ Fri, 08 Aug 2008 21:01:53 PDT
anyway I did manage to get some new pictures and Yay not of me this time but my adorable sister!

I am currently waiting for my photo editor yes AmrSabry I am waiting for u!! ...

lol so nothing new in my life although I did join this IMVU chat thing so if u have one add me- LailaJihad

also school starts in just a few days grr don't want to go

oh well anyway I'll post soon ^.^ unless anyone would like to try and edit the pics i have..i dont think AmrSabry will be coming online to help me anytime soon.

so if ur up to the challenge just note or comment with ur email address and I will send them to u.

if i like ur work i will post it and give u credit and link u to it and u may also post it as well.

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/19600214/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/19600214/ Sat, 26 Jul 2008 00:56:37 PDT
Right now I am working to incorporate exercise into my regular activities. Last night when for nice paced walking in the country for about an hour. It's really beautiful so I might take my camera next time. I also am trying to lose weight and am currently growing out my hair.

Yay for wellness!

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/19475820/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/19475820/ Sat, 19 Jul 2008 01:59:01 PDT Blue pill and you stay in wonderland...

Red pill and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes...

If you choose the Red Pill read on:






TV is an important part of our American society. In school we are socialized and yet the TV serves as an other way to socialize us. So many people spend long hours a day in front of TV and it's affecting the way they live their lives.

Think of all the problems in our society, lack of respect, impoliteness, selfishness, crime, all these things can be traced to what people watch on TV, which constantly shows negative things.

Everything on TV - from soaps to reality shows - is based off the idea of one person getting the better of somebody else, everything is packaged as a competition in which the winner is king and the loser is scum. No wonder people are so desperate to get the better of others all the time in our society.

Women control about 80% of the spending power of a household, that is why most commercials are aimed at them. Products are designed and marketed to women who are in constant competition with other women.

American sitcoms and commercials are replete with images of oafish,pathetic males who constantly need assistance from smart, smug females.

An epidemic of male-bashing commercials have popped up over the past few years on American television. Men are shown as lazy, being disrespected by women and their children, fat, etc.

A few examples are the show "Everybody Loves Raymond."
The husband is shown less intelligent than the wife and just wants sex. He doesn't help with the children, cleaning or can not preform simple tasks not because of an physical impediment, but just because he is a male. The wife simply must do everything and has to stay strong and hard as if the only reason he is there is for the paychecks.

In a Diary Queen commercial.
A young girl passes on an ice cream with her mom. The two sit down and a DQ employee gives her an ice cream, saying it’s from the young boy wearing “the donkey shirt.” She smiles at the boy and turns to her mom to say,“It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.”

This commercial shows the idea that men are idiots for trusting women and that they are disposable. Yet we seem to forget that being trusting is a good quality. The most disturbing part of all is the little girl's arrogance and sense of entitlement.

If the females and males switched roles in these ads, they would be banned, but in America today, bashing men is in-fashion and sexism both ways sells.

Proof of this is shown by the company who provides us with Dove for girls self esteem workshops commercials and the Axe commercials.

For those who are not familiar one of Axe's latest commercials is an unattractive male spraying himself with Axe and hundreds of perfect looking women in bikinis race towards him.

This commercial is marketed toward males by putting a false image of women in their minds. Women are shown to have thin, perfect tanned bodies with long shiny hair and makeup.

That same company also is responsible for the new Dove commercials.

One Dove commercial for example shows a little girl stopping and appearing to be staring at something where the camera then changes to go through what this little girl is seeing. It is add after add giving the same message. "Lose weight fast. Wear this. Use this." Telling what women should look like. The the camera goes back to a message "talk to your daughter before the beauty industry does" then the little girl continues walking.

These two commercials have the best marketing of all. They both completely sell to the targeted audience. Watching the Axe commercial for the first time I felt self conscious and embarrassment that I didn't look like those women. Then seeing the Dove commercial I felt like their was a company out there that finally understand, and I felt more compelled to buy their product.

Our Media is getting influenced by a wide variety of subjects. One is particular that affects Sexism is Feminism.

Feminism started out as movement designed to redress the imbalance in opportunities and conditions for women, but was hijacked by radical socialists employing Marxist techniques of class warfare to create division between men and women where none had existed.

It is important to remember that these negative messages are not just on the TV. They are surrounding us constantly in the outside world. Now with TV it is not just outside any more.

People watch behaviors and soon enough intended or not they will copy them.

-Laila Jihad

"Unfortunatley, no one can be told what the matrix is - you have to see it for yourself."
~ Morpheus, The Matrix

.... ;D

http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/19429702/ Wed, 16 Jul 2008 14:24:53 PDT
I have brilliant ideas, but not a good camera. This camera is basically only good for family vacation not what I want.

I am looking around for cameras and I am pretty sure I want a Canon EOS DIGITAL REBEL XTi or something like it. Which the price range of that is 562$-700$ I think.

The only way I am getting that cash is Spring so that is like a long long time away.

Oh I keep trying and I tell people about how I am having difficulty with my photography lately they say it is the same thing as getting writers block. Ohh I need a camera

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/19372368/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/19372368/ Sun, 13 Jul 2008 13:08:37 PDT Why I Make the Choice
-by Leslie Gerber
Viewmont High, Centerville, Utah

"I think it is important to have modest dresses because it promotes morality, self worth, and confidence. Celebrities dress immodestly and set the standard for young women today. We look up to them and want to be like them, which makes us want to dress like them, attracting young men that we probably wouldn’t otherwise attract, and situations we don’t want to be in. People interpret who you are by what you wear and can give you negative judgments when you dress immodestly.
Modesty promotes self worth because if you value yourself enough to dress modestly and not feel pressured by the world, you feel stronger and more confident in yourself. Modesty and the way you choose to dress is an outward statement of who you are inside and that is what matters most."
-by Nicole Nielsen
Timpanogos High, Orem, Utah

In this time we face pressures from the media to look and act in certain ways. It is important to note that modesty isn't simply just the clothing you wear. Even for me as a Muslim women I see other Muslim women cover their heads, but wear tight jeans and expose other part of their body and shape. And still other Muslim women will flirt with men etc. Modesty is an attitude. One of self respect and dignity. We can also display modesty in life. Quietness, humility, and simplicity are values to be grasped and sought after. Ask yourself what values do you uphold? And what should you personally work on to become a better person?




Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies (Proverbs 31:10).

Hadith - Muslim, #3465
'Abdullah b. 'Amr reported Allah's Messenger as saying: The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/19090442/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/19090442/ Sat, 28 Jun 2008 10:06:56 PDT
I come home ready to put them on the computer in 10 minutes and im looking through and ohh whats this..I just had to push the button! I selected the Format button.

It warned me that it deletes all my Data, their was nothing in my DATA button space it was in the Display...OMG I cried so much!

Stupid Me now I know DON'T HIT THE FORMAT BUTTON!

other than that I suppose I will try again.
--------
This Photo is awesome!

[link]

*new edit* I am thinking about doing a Muslim Woman warrior ninja girl haha...

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/18997633/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/18997633/ Mon, 23 Jun 2008 08:49:01 PDT
I have been getting comments about what is hypocritical in my work. Why am I showing off modesty?

At first it angered me a bit and then I thought more. Wouldn't it be more hypocritical if I am a Muslim who removes my modesty only for a picture.

Then that reminded me of why I ever started My Work. Instead of me telling you why don't I let the variety of users around the world tell you.

~blackmondae
"I pop by your gallery and saw the preety arab girl wearing the hijab. You showed the world that Islam is not about violence but its actualy all about peace and harmony.
To cut the story short, I realy admire your works or art."

karracaz
"What an interesting gallery. I've been watching a programme here called Women in Black with Amani Zain where she shows us the women under the hijabi. Your pictures remind me of that. They are so beautiful. Thanks."

bear48
"As many of you know I have a thing for veiled women. It amuses me to know that many people think this is because of the mystery of what they are hiding. But truth to be told it is because of the intensity of expression and normally over look beauty that they are showing."

~Leeham991
You said you would give 2 coments for every coment you got, but how am I surposed to coment on a bunch of women in arabic headrobes? I mean, it's not like they're bad pics, it's just, they all seem to be extremely similar..

Reply
~fucduck
well... u should see the difference between the headrobes colors and how they matche with her eyes
u should see how the light works in her photos
her eyelines and many other things
each photo is unique

If you were not included in this please forgive me. This Journal Entry was created as fast as I could surfacing the few easy quotes I could quickly find.

Thank you to everyone for showing support!

ps. a special thanks to:

sheriffdesignstudio
tomcatinlove
AmrSabry
silkwrapt
Darkcrowslayer
bear48
ArtOriginal

and all my other long time viewers

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/18816185/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/18816185/ Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:07:34 PDT
I have two ideas I would like to do and I suppose I will be modeling in them which makes some difficulty for taking the picture. I might have to teach someone how..

Ideas:

1. Girl with the Pearl Earing

2. Mary -Muslims and Catholics- (non close up)

3. Desert Rose ----------FINISHED[link]

I would like to do some things that are not close ups. I think my work is starting to look so similar.
If you have any ideas please do share them.

ps: I gave away my baby kitten
pss: Thank you for all the favs, ads and comments!

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/18136721/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/18136721/ Fri, 02 May 2008 16:59:05 PDT
AmrSabry:[link]

We have many plans to bring you some great new art.

I will be doing a lot of modeling and Amr is bringing his skills to my images.

The work will be very different and inshallah much better than what I currently have in my gallery. Hopefully much more variety as well!

Thank you to all who have faved and commented my work and especially those who watch me!

*If I post something on DeviantArt it doesn't mean its what I am doing with Amr. I will tell you in the description if it is

]]> ~Laila-Jihad http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/16863679/ http://Laila-Jihad.deviantart.com/journal/16863679/ Wed, 13 Feb 2008 12:47:25 PST
Well how do I start off?
My name is Laila Jihad. I spend much of my extra time making videos. Hopefully I will be learning some skill with photography.

I am a Muslim living in Usa.I plan mainly to take shots of women in veil. All comments and suggestions are appreciated.

If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask.


If you are interested in viewing any of my pages they are listed below....

[link] -My myspace-

[link] -My youtube-

[link] -My muslimspace-

]]> ~Laila-Jihad