http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Lil-Angelic-Star&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Lil-Angelic-Star en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 09:37:34 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/23019314/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/23019314/ Thu, 05 Feb 2009 12:07:51 PST
If you wish to contact me my military address is:

steph.williams2@us.army.mil

I hope everyone that I have yet to get in contact with is doing well and I wish you all the best.

Blessed Be

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/19626009/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/19626009/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 15:44:38 PDT
So I told my mom & step father I didn't want to go back to the states...

Result = Disownment

I gave my mother the good news that I failing passed the short ASVAB and that I take the long one on the 7th and that I'd be aiming to take photojournalism once I got into the military.

You'd think such news would at least give her some kind of comfort that I'm NOT "fucking up my life" like she seems to think I'm doing by being over here in Malchenberg, Germany and living with Damion and his family.

You would also think if his mother says that I'm like part of the family then when he gets a call that something is up he'd tell me. Not say "it doesn't concern you" telling someone that right after they are finally considered part of the family makes a person feel like they aren't part of the family.

Teeth are starting to clench and claws are starting to dig into the ground. Writers block on a much needed story doesn't help either, nor does a camera that will take pictures but they refuse to convert so that the computer can read them.

"The times are getting screwy and people are starting to falter, now is the time as artists we take our stand and give the fallen something to believe in again." ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/19072262/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/19072262/ Fri, 27 Jun 2008 09:17:40 PDT
Just an update on my standing point is all.

New Job:I love it most days, Plus

New Photos: Other than one none, Negative

New Chapters to Novel: Can't get pass the whore house with Jade and Earnest. Earnest is a dog what can I say. Negative

New Paintings and Drawings: Nothings come to mind, Negative

New Car: Negative

New event: Hair Cut, Plus

Biggest news: I got $800 from family for making it through this past school year. Oh yeah and I leave for home on the 10th of July.

"The times are getting screwy and people are starting to falter, now is the time as artists we take our stand and give the fallen something to believe in again." ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/18445981/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/18445981/ Thu, 22 May 2008 11:30:13 PDT
I think my quote says it all.

I also think with that I ought to stop sleeping in the days, one could easily end up missing something very important this way. An I don't know about you all but I can't stand to be considered ignorant so this sleeping business is going to get fixed starting today.

In other Deviantart news...

If you haven't already noticed I'm trying something a bit new for me. At first I was drawing some political pieces, then worked my way into writing a few poems that are political that is if you manage to find the meaning inside it, now I'm taking it to the photography level. Wiccan Rede along with Freedom Not are my first big step in this attempt. An to really get the point across and sharpen my political tongue I mixed in some open verse poems that are short for me.

"The times are getting screwy and people are starting to falter, now is the time as artists we take our stand and give the fallen something to believe in again." ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/18263309/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/18263309/ Sat, 10 May 2008 20:13:33 PDT I was fading from the race
When in despair, my darkest days
Ran amok and forged her face
From the fairest of handmaidens to
A slick perverted wraith

Nymphetamine

Heaving midst narcissus
On a maledict blanket of stars
She was all three wishes
Sex, sex, sex

A lover hung on her death row
I was hooked on her disease
Highly strung like Cupid's bow
Whose arrows hungered meat
And the blinding flare of passion
In the shade of narrow streets
Where their poison never rationed
All the tips they left in me

Two tracks
Bric-a-brac
Something passed between us
Like a bad crack
Upward-lit
I'd met another kind

Of rat
In fact
With every Rome inside me
Licked and ransacked
She haunted at the corners of my mind

In black
Cataracts
Wouldn't whitewash away
Her filthy smoke stack
She burnt me like a furnace
For my future suicide

Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A 'V'' of black swans
On with hope to the grave
All through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones

Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain
So I swore to thy razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again

Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl

Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt

Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance her to the moon
As we did in those golden days

Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay

Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your holiness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

Sunsetter
Nymphetamine (Nymphetamine)
None better
Nymphetamine

Two tracks
Bric-a-brac
Something passed between us
Like a bad crack
Upward-lit
I'd met another kind

Of rat
In fact
With every Rome inside me
Licked and ransacked
She haunted at the corners of my mind

In black
Cataracts
Wouldn't whitewash away
Her filthy smoke stack
She burnt me like a furnace
For my future suicide

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/18015772/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/18015772/ Thu, 24 Apr 2008 23:32:10 PDT My crazy little people...
Hope everyone is doing well. The new artwork is starting to come in so keep watching. Also for my closer buds cause I know some people have been asking me to sketch out their tattoos. I'm fine with doing so just tell me what you want, how you want it, and I'll do my thing with the pencil and paper. Just don't forget to tell the guy inking you who did the design. Give the credit were it should go etc...

Take care and if I don't hear from some of you have a Blessed Beltane and be safe.



~[link] <--- You Want To Click It
You Have To
But You Can't
Or Can You?

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17926535/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17926535/ Sat, 19 Apr 2008 11:20:19 PDT
The best part is I did all by myself with no help and everyone thought I would need help.

Oh yeah! And from this lovely result I've managed to get out of my stone age music too so I'm coming up to speed really quick.

Currently though the art world is about the same only I do Tattoo sketches for people around here I've managed to do four including my own and all have been pleased with the results and detail that they asked for. So once the scanner is up and running again I'll be posting up my designs for everyone to see.

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17898677/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17898677/ Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:45:16 PDT
Some of you have already read parts of it, but I assure you all theres a lot going on but it all boils down to the end of all life. That's the short way. But to get there you've got murders and romance, betrayal, war, etc.. All the things including that one character who is a total smart ass like Cain.

Everyone else well... Read an find out who is who and discover how it comes down in the year 2012.

The Anthology of poems is back in motion as well and is being carefully thought out on which poems to put together and which ones are just better off in the scrapbook.

Photography and drawing are also in gear too. So watch out people there's going to be a lot coming out and it's going to hit you if you aren't ready.

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17879037/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17879037/ Wed, 16 Apr 2008 11:12:56 PDT
Somethings may have not come to pass before and maybe that's because we weren't ready or it wasn't suppose to happen, at least not to us. We just had to play the part in order for whoever it was suppose to happen to fill the spot or as some would say guide the unknown person along until they headed down that path.

With the rapid changes people have come and gone. Some by death, others by their ultimatums that they choose to "force feed" to people close to them. Hearts have felt pain and scabs have been removed to show new life under the wound. From it all things have begun to justify themselves thus shaping a better person/s or being/s.

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17312898/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17312898/ Thu, 13 Mar 2008 08:33:09 PDT
Aside from the fact the last three attempts have been shit and mom being her usual paranoid self that if I go back there I'm bound to screw up my life in someway or form... As if I hadn't already been there kicked it's ass when I was a wee lass in the 9th grade with the smoking and drinking I picked up that later increased and put me in some shadowy hours...

At this point in my life I can't really screw it up. I've gotten pass the number one fear that my mother had, which was me having a kid like she did when she was 16. So I'm kid free.
I got into some drugs she doesn't know that nor does she need to either, however even though I got into them I quit just as fast as I started without all that bullshit rehab crap.
Dated a bunch of jerks and survived them all. Been through the "OMFGS what is going on, this can't be happening moments" and both Dana and Bridget know I've had enough that have put me into some "shut-down" moods where I refuse all means of humanity and turn into a lifeless snarling bitch who attacks the first person who tries to pity me.
Along with some other stuff both good and bad, but mostly bad until that bad shapes me into a grounded person which is good to be grounded.

Yes indeed things seem to be normal for my slowly dying teenage life. Yet I think that might be the problem... I've changed from what my partners in crime and that specific person know. So much that now it's got me worried. None of them have seen me in well over a year. They might be able to pick me out of crowd by my features but over the year I've went through so much without them at my side. I can't help, but feel like the "lone wolf" who was taken from their pack to be studied by humans then after putting me through "shell shock or homesickness" they decide to release me back into the wild after they've pretty much broken me down to the point I might as well be relying on humans to care for me.

I want to go back home, be with my "pack" so to speak, but it's hard to know how things are going to turn out after the span of time. Will they need me? After all I got quite a few of them through the drama etc... Are things going to pick up as they were before? Partying, jamming in Koray's garage, heading downtown to enjoy the cultural vibe that sweeps across the HauptStrasse all of that stuff. Is it going to be as I remember it or is it going to just as strange to me as it will be when Damion catches eye of me for the first time since November 11th when he drove me to the skate park to tell me how much he was going to miss me and that he loved me and that he wasn't going to say goodbye to me either cause I swore to find a back home etc...

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17195490/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17195490/ Wed, 05 Mar 2008 13:30:45 PST
]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17130148/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17130148/ Sat, 01 Mar 2008 08:40:06 PST
Yeah... Yeah... I know one girl verses two guys is so not a fair fight, but I kicked there asses pretty damn good. Although I think I got lucky (my Irish luck must be kicking in) since I came out with some scraps on my knees one that went down the shin, a stomach that doesn't need anymore side kicks or punches to it for awhile, and a rip on the right side of my shirt all because the second guy was lousy with a dull knife.

I guess they didn't think that there are chicks out there who can fight and will fight if they feel they have little choice.

Which I'm one of those chicks, I avoid actually fights if I've got to fight I'd rather it be with my art skills. Just because a person takes any style of marshal arts doesn't they like to fight. It means they enjoy the art that goes into it, they always hope they never have to actually use it though.

My case I went all out on the second guy once he pulled out the knife. You people who know me know I love daggers and such, I also know what they can do if somebody else whose just as good or better at handling it than myself. Well I didn't know how good this guy was and no calling for help doesn't work when you're in woods and nobodies near the road to shine a light and notice what's going on. So I had to use my hands. Dangerous, I don't reckon anyone should do theirs unless they know how to disarm a person even then it's still dangerous as hell.

Like I said I think I got lucky. An it turns out I ran into one of their buddies up at the road and it's a guy I know actually and he has that "holy shit" look on his face and said sorry to me left and right. The morons who tried to kick my ass got the wrong person. They were looking for some long haired skinny white poser guy who was did something to the guys younger sister.

What a beautiful fucked up world we live in people, what a beautiful fucking world.

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17089924/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/17089924/ Wed, 27 Feb 2008 14:11:48 PST I'm sitting under her light,
The cold breath down my body-
As I think of you,
The place I call home.

Can you hear me whisper?
The things I've said to keep self-control,
Evade shell-shock.

To part is hard,
To be without-
Ever again leaves me hollow,
A way I shutter toward.

You remain constant-
While all else vanishes or derails,
To an uncharted void,
As I think of you,
The place I find stable.

I close my eyes,
The waves mists touch my cheek,
They remind me of you,
The place my heart longs to be.

However,
Until that journey comes these feelings-
Bits of humanity,
Though I hate them,
I'll keep for you,
As I think of you,
The place I found serenity.


Well I meant for it to be a journal not be a poem as I told Emilio I wrote the first few words and it came together like that. I guess it sums up though, I miss being home (Europe, Germany, Heidelberg) and miss the two people who've become the most important to me.

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/16917407/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/16917407/ Sat, 16 Feb 2008 16:52:27 PST
No I didn't die and manage to find a Necromancer or very skilled Shaman to bring me back from the dead, and no I didn't claw my demonic claws into the ground and fight with Lucifer and come out the winner. Trust me none of that happened. Aside from digging my demonic claws part. That did kind of happen. I went into a state where I wasn't able to actually write anything along the lines of prose and poetry which is very bad. I got so fixed and filled on the energy from painting that I started to have my paintings tell my proses for me.

Not to mention having some fights here and there with so-called "friends" that have turned out to be ingrates and family memebers. Work has had me jumping through hoops (which this is me we're talking about, very stubborn and doesn't like being commanded) much like today with the new manager who said even though I worked eight hours I get no break or a lunch and me pulling my work load, plus two other peoples load, had shit for sleep and no food just a SoBe water to get me by... Yeah need I say how pissed that caused me to be folks? Dealing with musicians too isn't as easy either more so when they tell you "oh you need to come to our gig, I want to know what you think of our music etc..." Then we have the annoying publisher wondering why all of a sudden I stopped writing, don't get me wrong she's cool, but when the juices stop flowing it means writing aint going to happen until a spark comes across the wick if you know what I mean. Then the big one me and my sudden realization that some of the things in my life have to go... Won't go into that, that's something I'll save for when I write a memoir.

But all in all I'm back after digging into the ground. Thank you (those of you who helped me not pull my hair out most of all) and everybody else well I guess thanks for the favorites and all that jazz.

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/15944637/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/15944637/ Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:34:36 PST
Blessed be from the stars down to sands and the ocean. Take care everyone and have a very peaceful Yule and Christmas.

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/15646203/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/15646203/ Sat, 24 Nov 2007 07:49:00 PST
Thanks people, more so to everybody whose given me some type of idea to toss inside my already busy mind, which needless to say has helped me come up with alot of my poems and a few help create some means of a plot in my novel which I'm still working on.

The first book I must say is kinda kicking my ass cause there is some much information to get out before the next two books can be read where the real FUN happens with battles etc... But it's coming along maybe I can get it to at least 48 pages before the Yule aka my birthday which would allow it to be a full book in publisher terms and get it placed a on shelf before the Spring.

But yes, thank you everybody, messes I've gotten into and art wise.
Some special thanks to:

Emilio- Yes you get placed in this lovely bunch too.

Kurtiss- You've followed my writing and drawings since 8th grade back in Mr. J's, Mrs. Chubb's / Mrs. Peyton's and gave me some serious input way back when.

James- You gave me some advise here and there later on down the road Sophomore year.

Chris- Well your input has been there too for my poems.

Mindy- You've been there from the start need I say more big-sis?

Raphael- From dropping that damn Bible and Dictionary on my head to College now you've read every ounce of my work even if it caused us to stay up until five in the morning discussing and we had classes the next day.

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/15116302/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/15116302/ Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:15:07 PDT
]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/14952256/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/14952256/ Sun, 07 Oct 2007 08:18:22 PDT
]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/14547063/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/14547063/ Sat, 08 Sep 2007 14:30:03 PDT
]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/14205789/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/14205789/ Fri, 17 Aug 2007 02:59:57 PDT Either way they seem to follow each other hand and hand, like big brother protecting little sister from the stupid self-centered childish for lack there of words fit enough to describe, boys I guess one could say not guys or men, boys. (Don't take this the wrong way guys, it's not you I directly attack, just the childish boys who can't get over themselves that I'm attacking.)
We all want to be loved by someone outside of our family, that significant other who makes us all happy, we can trust when the hypocrite world knocks us off our feet, etc... but why is it with doing so sorrow at points seems to do more damage to us? Yes, it can cause us to remember why we 'love' that person and makes our bond grow so much stronger than what it once was, but when it doesn't is what I'm getting at more so. What then? What do we do as people as beings that are said to be the most intellegent superior to all other beings? We either do one of two things: A) cut the connection or B) fall into an ignorant state of mind and forget it all in hopes things get better. Which really cutting that connection is not too different from being ignorant. Cutting the connection may be more or less freeing us from the bad thus spearing us from the pain, but all we are really doing is running from the problem which is what being ignorant to the problem is, running from it and never correcting the problem.
We move on with our lives or do we? No, we really don't. Why? The simple fact is that everybody at the core is THE SAME. We want and need the same things we just have different ways of getting what we need and want.
So here is the lovely question if it 'love' is the root of all joy and sorrow then why do we want it and need it so much? Why do we insist on going after the one thing we perhaps weren't meant to have? Love is both 'Heaven' and 'Hell' I don't beleive in either of those places, so for those who are like me I'll put it like this; love is both joy and sorrow, good and evil, hopefully those make sense if not then maybe paradise and utter misery. You should get the point though. Why, why must we continue chasing this one star?

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/14162798/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/14162798/ Tue, 14 Aug 2007 09:50:35 PDT Since I appear to be the fool for falling in love with someone, will someone explain to me why I try to fight and hold on to something that appears to be one-sided?
It appears that even after nearly ten months of loyalty and trusting someone more than any other person I'm some how still trying to prove I deserve this person's love.
Regardless of all the things I've tried, minus the last card I have in my hand, which is the most risky to play of all, since if it's played I'd risk one of two possible outcomes. One losing more than just a friend and a lover. Two I could also gain an enormous amount that could benefit me and the other person.
We gamble life around, yet they call us fools for playing and relying on chance. When they themselves have no sense of possible outcomes. Who really is the fool?

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/14015564/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/14015564/ Sat, 04 Aug 2007 13:22:52 PDT Would the thought nearly, scare you so much that you feel your heart stop beating and your ability to breathe becomes so faint you can't even tell if you are still really breathing or not?
Would you be the stronger one who withdraws the idea of someone close to you nearly fully slipping away from you, in order for that other person to know when they do leave you'll be ready to let them go and move on with your life?
Would you be the one to say that it's all apart of life and that both life and death are just as natural as the air we breath, so there is nothing to be upset about because you at the very least got to know some kind of happiness regardless of how it didn't turn out the way you pictured it inside your mind?
Would you still care about that person just as much as you did prior, would it grow somewhat in your eyes, or would you abandon them all together to avoid hurting yourself and maybe them, cause you feel perhaps it's your fault it happened even though the odds are it could have had nothing to do with you?

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/13871839/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/13871839/ Wed, 25 Jul 2007 09:37:13 PDT Well, sometimes that change may sever cords that you're not so sure you want to have cut from you just yet, because you realize once you have that connection or cord cut having it rewired and restoring it to how it once was may be almost impossible. However, the truth of the matter is no matter how or what you do the sands of time always change something about you and make the things we thought were utterly simple more complex and difficult to do.

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/13766519/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/13766519/ Tue, 17 Jul 2007 06:40:57 PDT sorry people, but due to the fact I've got my new writing being reviewed to be published like "Query of Assurance" has been I've got to keep my other works off the net. Don't worry though I've got tons of good things in store for everyone.

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/11102093/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/11102093/ Mon, 18 Dec 2006 06:24:17 PST
]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/11048005/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/11048005/ Wed, 13 Dec 2006 06:34:23 PST
Maybe love is just lust. Get what you can in life make sure that somewhere down the line you leave a bloodline behind so you as a person are not forgotten. Thrust your way into a another persons life.

Even possibly just friends or the worst part of life.

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/10946171/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/10946171/ Mon, 04 Dec 2006 09:16:37 PST
Scientists recently found direct evidence that dark matter exists by studying a distant galaxy cluster and observing different types of motion in luminous versus dark matter. Still, no one knows what dark matter is made of.
Okay, if you don't understand that then here. Think Matter and how it effects us in everyday life. Dark Matter is it's (Mattter's) other half the dark that fights the light and all. It's an alsome thing to study yes, but only if you like Astronomy and all the other feilds of science. But yeah that's the low down in school.
You all should check it out.

]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/10653634/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/10653634/ Tue, 07 Nov 2006 23:11:36 PST Despite, how much I hate math I have found the greatest class ever. Discrete Math! It's a college class, but it's based off of total logic and reasoning. Mr. Kimmerly the teacher learned of my leave and showed me what the class would be working on at the end of the year. What's this CRAZY thing he showed me???

Ever hear of the CHAOS THEORY!!!!

In mathematics and physics, chaos theory describes the behavior of certain nonlinear dynamical systems that under certain conditions exhibit a phenomenon known as chaos. Among the characteristics of chaotic systems, described below, is the sensitivity to initial conditions (popularly referred to as the butterfly effect). As a result of this sensitivity, the behavior of systems that exhibit chaos appears to be random, exhibiting an exponential error dispersion, even though the system is deterministic in the sense that it is well defined and contains no random parameters. Examples of such systems include the atmosphere, the solar system, plate tectonics, turbulent fluids, economics, and population growth, and the vast variety of thermodynamically open systems operating far from equilibrium.

Systems that don't exhibit mathematical chaos are imdeterministic and thus orderly in some sense; this technical use of the word chaos is at odds with common parlance, which suggests complete disorder. (See the article on mythological chaos for a discussion of the origin of the word in mythology, and other uses.) A related field of physics called quantum chaos theory studies non-deterministic systems that follow the laws of quantum mechanics.

As well as being orderly in the sense of being deterministic, chaotic systems usually have well defined statistics. For example, the Lorentz system pictured is chaotic, but has a clearly defined structure. Weather is chaotic, but its statistics - climate - is not.


Chaotic dynamics
For a dynamical system to be classified as chaotic, most scientists will agree that it must have the following properties:

it must be sensitive to initial conditions,
it must be topologically mixing, and
its periodic orbits must be dense.
Sensitivity to initial conditions means that each point in such a system is arbitrarily closely approximated by other points with significantly different future trajectories. Thus, an arbitrarily small perturbation of the current trajectory may lead to significantly different future behavior.

Sensitivity to initial conditions is popularly known as the "butterfly effect", suggesting that the flapping of a butterfly's wings over Tokyo might create tiny changes in the atmosphere, which could over time cause a tornado to occur over Texas. The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale phenomena. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different.

Sensitivity to initial conditions is often confused with chaos in popular accounts. It can also be a subtle property, since it depends on a choice of metric, or the notion of distance in the phase space of the system. For example, consider the simple dynamical system produced by repeatedly doubling an initial value (defined by the mapping on the real line from x to 2x). This system has sensitive dependence on initial conditions everywhere, since any pair of nearby points will eventually become widely separated. However, it has extremely simple behavior, as all points except 0 tend to infinity. If instead we use the bounded metric on the line obtained by adding the point at infinity and viewing the result as a circle, the system no longer is sensitive to initial conditions. For this reason, in defining chaos, attention is normally restricted to systems with bounded metrics, or closed, bounded invariant subsets on unbounded systems.

Even for bounded systems, sensitivity to initial conditions is not identical with chaos. For example, consider the two-dimension torus described by a pair of angles (x,y), each ranging between zero and 2π. Define a mapping that takes any point (x,y) to (2x, y + a), where a is any number such that a/2π is irrational. Because of the doubling in the first coordinate, the mapping exhibits sensitive dependence on initial conditions. However, because of the irrational rotation in the second coordinate, there are no periodic orbits, and hence the mapping is not chaotic according to the definition above.

Topologically mixing means that the system will evolve over time so that any given region or open set of its phase space will eventually overlap with any other given region. Here, "mixing" is really meant to correspond to the standard intuition: the mixing of colored dyes or fluids is an example of a chaotic system.


Attractors ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/9658788/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/9658788/ Wed, 09 Aug 2006 03:37:38 PDT

Her Portait in Black

verse 1
your life thats in the end when you get what your looking for your bleeding soft side or when your crying to i guess your hurting to your down come from inside she never died
when you fall soul swept from emotion she is one brings you to your fate where challengers lie on the verge of destruction she pulls you back and she gives you it(marc sings death will hold you when tired as she rips)

chorus
can you feel her running through your veins she will always live forever(can you feel the burn)
can you feel her running through your veins she will always live forever
(can you feel the burn)
verse 2
you turn your back your patrient eyes shes bleeding you will question your every word shes bleeding out! shes bleeding out! shes bleeding OUT!(marc-death will hold you as tired as she rips)

chorus
can you feel her running through your veins she will always live forever(can you feel the burn)
can you feel her running through your veins she will always live forever

SOLO

shes bleeding out
shes bleeding out
shes bleeding out

death will hold you as tired as she rips

chorus(x3) ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/9083363/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/9083363/ Fri, 16 Jun 2006 02:55:39 PDT ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8997143/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8997143/ Wed, 07 Jun 2006 08:45:02 PDT I'll miss her so much!!!!

On the same note this song by Bowling For Soup has been in my head and it won't go away.

She works at hot topic
His heart microscopic
She thinks that its love but to him its sex
He listens to emo but fat mike's his hero
His bank account's zero
What comes next?

Same song different chorus

[Chorus:]
It's stupid, contagious
To be broke and famous
Can someone please save us from punk rock 101
My Dickies, your sweat pants
My spiked hair, your new Vans
Let's throw up our rock hands for punk rock 101

She bought him a skateboard, a rail slide, his knee tore
He traded it for drums at the local pawn shop
She left him for staring at girls and not caring
When she cried because she thought Bon Jovi broke up

Same song second chorus

[Chorus]

Don't forget to dely...on the very last word

Seven years later he works as a waiter
She married a trucker and he's never there
The story never changes, just the names and faces
Like Tommy and Gina they're living on a prayer

Did you just say that?
I said

[Chorus x2]

It's stupid, contagious (same song different chorus)
To be broke and famous (same song different chorus)
Can someone please save us from punk rock 101
My Dickies, your rock hands
My spiked hair, your new Vans
Let's shoplift some sweatbands for punk rock 101 ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8936838/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8936838/ Thu, 01 Jun 2006 04:16:46 PDT Well as soon as I stitch a few patches together I'll have some poetry for you all to read! Based on my past works like Haunting Spirals this upcoming ones will fall under a collection or better yet a book, of the Spiraling poems I've wrote. You know the ones that twist and turn in the mind. So keep a look out for them. ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8717047/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8717047/ Tue, 09 May 2006 04:09:14 PDT Ghosts are now watiging for you all.
Are you...

Sweet berries ready for two ghosts no different then you.
Ghosts are now waiting for you all.

Are you...
Dreaming! Dreaming the night! Dreaming all right!
Do we! Do we know, when we FLY?
Where do, where do we go when we DIE?

Sweet berries ready for two ghosts no different then you.
Ghosts are now watiging for you all.
Are you...

Sweet berries ready for two ghosts no different then you.
Ghosts are now waiting for you all.
Are you...
Dreaming! Dreaming the night! Dreaming all right!

Do we! Do we know, when we FLY?
Where do, where do we go... do we DIE?

LALALALALALLALAALALALALALAALALALALA

DO WE! DO WE KNOW, WHEN WE FLY?
WHERE DO, WHERE DO WE GO... DO WE DIE? ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8509702/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8509702/ Tue, 18 Apr 2006 11:11:05 PDT
Passion

Thinking about it far, far back
The future was shining everywhere
Beneath a beautiful blue sky
We were only afraid slightly.

The window is dyed in a familiar colour.

If we keep heading forwards will we meet again?
The future continues to infinity
Beneath the big signboard,
We were looking at the changes of our era.

To the people we'll never meet again there
We'll open a window.

Thinking about it far, far back
The future was shining everywhere.
And beneath a beautiful blue sky
We were sleeping forever.

Those people we loved long ago
It looks like a child will be born in winter
Those things that were certain long ago
We would like to question them.
Those things we could never forget
Are like mementos attached to a photograph.
Those things we couldn't do,
I will remember them fondly. ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8446742/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8446742/ Wed, 12 Apr 2006 08:57:21 PDT
The world was on fire, no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
I'd never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you
And I'd never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you

No I don't wanna fall in love
This world is always gonna break your heart
No I don't wanna fall in love
This world is always gonna break your heart
... With you

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way
What a wicked thing you do, to make me dream of you

No I don't wanna fall in love
This world is always gonna break your heart
No I don't wanna fall in love
This world is always gonna break your heart
... With you

The world was on fire, no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
No and I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
I'll never dream that I lose somebody like you, no
Now I wanna fall in love
This world is always gonna break your heart
Now I wanna fall in lust
This world is always gonna break your heart
With you

Nobody loves no one ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8292235/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8292235/ Tue, 28 Mar 2006 07:31:29 PST
My black backpack's stuffed with broken dreams
20 bucks should get me through the week
Never said a word of discontentment
Fought it a thousand times but now
I'm leaving home

[CHORUS:]
Here in the shadows
I'm safe
I'm free
I've nowhere else to go but
I cannot stay where I don't belong

Two months pass by and it's getting cold
I know I'm not lost
I am just alone
But I won't cry
I won't give up
I can't go back now
Waking up is knowing who you really are

[Chorus]

[Chorus]

Show me the shadow where true meaning lies
So much more dismay in empty eyes ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8028549/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8028549/ Tue, 28 Feb 2006 14:22:07 PST

"Far Away"

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go


"Savin' Me"

Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin'

[CHORUS]
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin'

[CHORUS]

Hurry I'm fallin' ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8028490/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8028490/ Tue, 28 Feb 2006 14:17:04 PST
"Killing Loneliness"

Memories, sharp as daggers
Pierce into the flesh of today
Suicide of love took away all that matters
And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart

With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me,
Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness

Nailed to the cross, together
As solitude begs us to stay
Disappear in the lie forever
And denounce the power of death over our souls and secret words are said to start a war

With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me,
I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness

Killing loneliness

With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8028379/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8028379/ Tue, 28 Feb 2006 14:02:59 PST Why should Daisy tell Timmy what's on her mind if he won't say what's on his??? ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8016249/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/8016249/ Mon, 27 Feb 2006 09:03:59 PST

"Play Dead"

A moth into a butterfly
And a lie
Into the sweetest truth
I'm so afraid of life

I try
To call your name but I'm
Silenced by the fear of dying in your heart once again

I see the seasons changing
And in the heart of this autumn I fall
With the leaves from the trees

I play dead
To hide my heart
Until the world gone dark fades away

I cry
Like God cries the rain
And I'm just one step away from the end of today

I see the reasons changing
And in the warmth of the past I crawl
Scorched by the shame

I play dead
To hide my heart
Until the world gone dark fades away

I stay dead
Until you veil my scars and say goodbye to fate
Before it's too late ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7969586/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7969586/ Wed, 22 Feb 2006 08:21:28 PST I'm not sure what to think or what to feel anymore. it either feels or the mirrors show and tell one thing while others sources say other things, everything just seems to be like that finger painting you did in kindergarden were you mixed colors on one sheet of paper, and to an adult they'd say it's a mess of colors.

Linkin Park

"And One"

Where should I start
Disjointed heart
I’ve got no commitment
To my own flesh and blood
Left all alone
Far from my home
No one to hear me, to heal my ill heart, I

Keep it locked up inside

Cannot express
To the point I’ve regressed
If anger’s a gift, then I guess I’ve been blessed, I

Keep it locked up inside
Keep my distance from your lies

It’s too late to love me now
You helped me to show me
It’s too late to love me now
You don't even know me

Breaking a part of my heart to find release
Taking you out of my blood to bring me peace
Breaking a part of my heart to find release
Taking you out of my blood to bring me peace

Breaking a part of my heart to find release (Break)
Taking you out of my blood to bring me peace (Me)
Breaking a part of my heart to find release (Too)
Taking you out of my blood to bring me peace

Keep it locked up inside
Keep my distance from your lies

Breaking a part of my heart to find release (Break)
Taking you out of my blood to bring me peace (Me)
Breaking a part of my heart to find release (Too)
Taking you out of my blood to bring me peace
Breaking a part of my heart to find release
Taking you out of my blood to bring me peace
Breaking a part of my heart to find release
Taking you out of my blood to bring me peace

Keep my distance
Keep my distance
Keep my distance
Keep my distance

[music slows to rap solo...]

Spit drips from the jaw of the witless witness
Cryptic colloquialism shifts your midrift
Dark all I do embark the shadows
Involved with my thought catalog, analogue, rap catalog
Keep my distance, and fear resistance, hurt by persistance
The twisted web of tangled lies
Strangles my hope to waste and numbs the taste
And I'm forced to face these hate crimes
Against the state of being
Feeling the weight-less-ness pressed between the ceiling
Reeling around room
Riding a bubble of sound proof
It's the frequency making you
Sha-Shake with every boom
Involuntary muscle contraction
Ignoring and drinking musical gas fueled euphoria
The sound pounds to make the dead flush
To have you a head rush with red thoughts and said stuff ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7903009/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7903009/ Wed, 15 Feb 2006 04:15:01 PST
Just what I was listening to on Valentine's Day.

Standing on a Brink, Looking to a Distance
Seeking but not Finding, blinded by Divine Light
and Finding oneself in Darkness
Creating but Destroying...

A Diamonds Space stretches above him
And it keeps Mystery of this Silence
A Circle of his Dreams narrows
and leaves nothing face by face with him...

A Conception of Infinity: what is it?
How many Signs are in this Number?
Unconscious Horror nibbles a Single Call
of a Primitive Amoebas!

Standing on a Brink Seeing Emptiness
Seeking, Finding Darkness...
Blinded and founding Sight in Darkness
A Circle of his Dreams dissolves into Atoms!
And They turned into Tears falling
on the Mystery of Silence!..

Dreams... Solitude... Silence...
Sitting on an Ass... On the Infinitive Ass of Eternity...
Sinking in a Space of the absence of Thoughts!..
Dreams... Solitude... Silence... ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7843457/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7843457/ Thu, 09 Feb 2006 04:15:58 PST Hand Of Blood

There goes my valentine again,
Soaked in red for what she said,
And now she's gone.

Oh my god have I done it again,
There's a pulse and it's deafening.
I can't help what I hear in my head,
It's the switch that I flick when he says.

Hand of blood, I don't wanna feel, my heart is breaking.
Hand of blood, I don't wanna see, my life is burning.

I saw you look away
Is what you've seen to much to take, or are you blind and seeing nothing,
I saw you run,
I saw you run away, is what I've done too much to take or are you scared of being nothing.

There's a stain on my hand and it's red
Oh my god am I losing it
I can't help what I've done or I said
It's the buttons I push when he says

Hand of blood, I don't wanna feel, my heart is breaking
Hand of blood, I don't wanna see, my life is burning

I saw you look away
Is what you've seen too much to take,
Or are you blind and seeing nothing, I saw you run
I saw you run away,
Is what I've done too much to take or are you scared of being nothing

I saw you look away
Is what you've seen too much to take,
Or are you blind and seeing nothing, I saw you run
I saw you run away,
Is what I've done too much to take or are you scared of being nothing ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7826289/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7826289/ Tue, 07 Feb 2006 08:11:46 PST I got board on myspace so I went I checked out my buddy Arsenio's page and he had this what does your spirit look like? So well I took it... So yeah based on it...

"Your inner spirit is confused ...

Your not sure about something, or everything just seems wrong. Try thinking it over to yourself, or try to reach out to your spirit and get some advice from it. You may feel alone or scared, but there are tons of people out there that will always be there for you. Your friends. Your family. Everyone is willing to lend an ear to you. Tell them your troubles and before you know it, you will feel lots better." ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7778772/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7778772/ Thu, 02 Feb 2006 08:22:27 PST I'm not feeling all perk today anymore...It kinda faded while I was on the bus thinking about things in my life. So I tossed on Simple Plan, and talked with them on myspace for a bit.

"Perfect World"

I never could’ve seen this far
I never could’ve seen this coming
Seems like my world’s falling apart

Yeah

Why is everything so hard
I don’t think I can deal with the things you said
It just won’t go away

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You’d still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all

I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through

Yeah

I pictured I could bring you back
I pictured I could turn back time
Cuz I can’t let go
I just can’t find my way
Yeah
Without you I just can’t find my way

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You’d still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all

I don’t know what I should do now
I don’t know where I should go
I’m still here waiting for you
I’m lost when you’re not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can’t let you go

Yeah
Yeah

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You’d still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you
This means nothing
Nothing at all
Nothing, nothing at all
Nothing at all ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7749647/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7749647/ Mon, 30 Jan 2006 09:20:45 PST I've just been listening to this old song by them, it's a good song, well more of a kick ass song.

"Hit Or Miss"

The needle on my record player has been wearing thin
This record has been playing since the day you've been with him
No more long rides home
No more of your station
I didn't like it anyways
Remember the time we wrote our names upon the wall
Remember the time we realized "Thriller" was our favorite song

[x2]
Have I waited too long
Have I found that someone
Have I waited too long to see you

Maybe it's for the best
Maybe it's not for anything
It wouldn't be so bad to take this right from me
No more long rides home
No more of your station
I didn't like it anyway
Remember the time we wrote our names upon the wall
Remember the time we realized "Thriller" was our favorite song

[x2]
Have I waited too long
Have I found that someone
Have I waited too long to see you

How many times I've tried
It's simple to you, so simple to lie
How many times I've tried
Blatant mistakes of your design

How many times I've tried
It's simple to you, so simple to lie
Blatant mistakes of your design

Have I waited too long
Have I found that someone
Have I wanted too long to see you

I've had so many chances
Turn my back and I ran away
I've had so many chances to see you ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7683083/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7683083/ Mon, 23 Jan 2006 08:04:55 PST
It seems so clear now,
the worlds just a splash of ink-
on a sheet of art paper.

Some spots are darker than others,
while some are just dead in life.
They twist an turn,
they even confuse you sometimes-
when you look at the picture too hard,
just to fix what's broken.

"However what's the point anymore?"
You ask yourself.
You realize your eyes are open,
you can't fix the painting,
if it was possibly ment to be how you perseve it. ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7655314/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7655314/ Fri, 20 Jan 2006 07:31:41 PST After trying to figure out who sung this song off an odd tape I figured it out, 1st I thought Story of the Year, then My Chemical Romance, and some other bands that have the same sound this song had. Turned out it was from the 2002 ablum "What it is to Burn" by the one and only, alsome Finch.

What it is to burn

She burns

Today's on fire
The sky is bleeding above me, and I am blistered
I walk these lines of blasphemy, every day
And still:

Like a bad star, I'm falling faster down to her
She's the only one who knows, what it is to burn

I feel diseased
Is there no sympathy from the sun?
The sky's still fire
But I am safe in here, from the world outside

So tell me
What's the price to pay for glory?

Like a bad star, I'm falling faster down to her
She's the only one who knows, what it is to burn

Today is fire, and she burns
Today is fire, and she burns
She burns
She burns
She burns
She burns
She burns
She burns

Like a bad star, I'm falling faster down to her
She's the only one who knows, what it is to burn ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7627632/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7627632/ Tue, 17 Jan 2006 07:45:20 PST Well got bored and all since there is nothing better to do and stuff like that I went a did some reading on Zodiac's, of course I checked mine out too it's got me thinking about tons of things now. Check yours out!!!

Aries
Ruler: Mars / Element: Fire / Mode: Cardinal
Pole: Positive / Third: Primordial / Half: Subjective

Unbridled expression of your inner nature; activity that is self-motivated, unaffected by others; new beginnings, the start of new cycles, birth; enthusiasm and vitality.

Aggressive, willful, powerful, assertive; enthusiastic about whatever interests you at the moment, focused in short bursts, unlikely to sustain interest in the long term; ego expression; adventurious, pioneering; Warrior-type energy; impatient with having to cooperate with others, works best alone or in leadership role; unconcerned with approval or acceptance; lacks persistance and stamina; honest and forthright, "what you see is what you get", not given to airs or pretenses; the first expression (or incarnation ) of spirit within a new cycle on the physical plane.

Taurus
Ruler: Venus / Element: Earth / Mode: Fixed
Pole: Negative / Third: Primordial / Half: Subjective

Grounding, bringing down to earth; constancy, steadiness, fixedness; spirit becoming embodied, entering matter, taking on a form; a vessel or container for spiritual forces.

Earthy, grounded, in touch with the body; sensual, pleasure seeking; stubborn, fixed, stands their ground; focuses and concentrates energy, gives it concrete expression, practical, provides stamina and persistance; slow, steady, methodical; fertile, productive; unreflective, content to simply be; spirit becoming involved with the material world.

Gemini
Ruler: Mercury / Element: Air / Mode: Mutable
Pole: Positive / Third: Primordial / Half: Subjective

Curiousity, cleverness, skill, communication; making connections with surroundings, trying to "figure things out"; the first display of intelligence by embodied spirit.

Talkative ("a Gemini is born with a telephone in each hand!"), communicative, sociable; loves to interact with others (at least on a superficial level); unemotional, impersonal, ruled by "rationality"; requires great mental stimulation, curious to a fault; playful, the Trickster, the Devil's Advocate; changable, inconstant, attention easily drifts to something new, seeks novelty.

Cancer
Ruler: Moon / Element: Water / Mode: Cardinal
Pole: Negative / Third: Primordial / Half: Subjective

Nurturing, support, belonging, emotional bonds; your roots, source, ground of your being; the unconscious, feelings, emotion; the Great Mother, Universal Womb; spirit's first emotional attachments to the world.

Mothering, emotional and physical nurturance; experiences and imprinting during infancy and childhood; family, ancestors, heritage, relationships to the past; belonging, feeling "at home"; maternal love, caring; feeling supported by the world, that your needs are provided for; insecurities and fears if your needs haven't been fulfilled; possessiveness, "twisted love", inability to nurture others are negative expressions.

Leo
Ruler: Sun / Element: Fire / Mode: Fixed
Pole: Positive / Third: Individual / Half: Subjective

Spirit entering the realm of the individual person; ego development, setting yourself apart from the rest of the world, becoming your own person; self-expression, being true to your inner nature, acting from the heart; dawning awareness of self in relation to others.

Ego, self-centered, arrogant; fixed, stubborn, persistant; artistic or creative expression as a vehicle for revealing "who I am"; needs to be a center of attention, requires acknowledgment and approval, likes to be noticed and appreciated ("ego-strokes"); personal integrity, true to self, honorable, trustworthy; kingly, self-assured, confident.

Virgo
Ruler: Mercury / Element: Earth / Mode: Mutable
Pole: Negative / Third: Individual / Half: Subjective

Embodiment of the individual in the world; problems of adjustment dealing with the world and others; perfection of your approach to life, development of mundane skills; ability to change to adapt to life better.

Service, helping, self-effacing; perfectionist, always seeking to improve, efficiency; practical, functional, interested in crafts and projects; true to self in a simple, unassuming manner; reacts to defeats and setbacks by pulling back and altering approach, lacks confidence in the face of opposition; lives up to duties and responsiblities; interested in maintaining the body as a fit vehicle; diet, exercise, herbs, et... ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7627596/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7627596/ Tue, 17 Jan 2006 07:37:51 PST well after being made to check out what new stuff is coming out I found out they're making and 2nd Underworld called Return to the Underworld or something close to that, sounds like fun, I wonder if they will add more to Fang or Fiction. ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7617055/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7617055/ Mon, 16 Jan 2006 05:02:46 PST

"Angels Or Devils" -Dishwalla

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall
into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see

still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

if I was to give in - give it up
- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one
that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7598988/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7598988/ Sat, 14 Jan 2006 06:10:46 PST
"Lucifer's Angel"

Behind those eyes lies the truth and grief
Behind those beautiful smiles I've seen tragedy
The fallen skin hides the secrets within
The silent forces that secretly ignite your sins

Fly away, fly away
From the darkened blade
They haunt you
Lucifer's Angels
You never lived, you never died
Your life has been denied
They call you
Lucifer's Angel

Beyond these clouds you can hide all your tear
Beyond this world you'll be safe from their wicked fears
And in their hearts they fear your demand
You know their minds won't accept you, they'll never understand

Fly away, fly away
From the darkened blade
They haunt you
Lucifer's Angels
You never lived, you never died
Your life has been denied
They call you
Lucifer's Angel

On your own I know you can make it
You'll go far? I know you can shake it
Survive alone I know you can take it

Fly away, fly away
From the darkened blade
They haunt you
Lucifer's Angels
You never lived, you never died
Your life has been denied
They call you
Lucifer's Angel

Fly away, fly away
Run away, run away
Hide away, hide away
Lucifer's Angel
[x3]

"Immortal"

Straight signs
Crooked signals
Strike down
Last aerial

Heaven's bending
Below, the world begins to break
Life is ending
Time has come to escape
Down to the chambers

Drink this blood and we'll become immortal baby
This love, is breaking the one last bond

We choose the silence
Hatred, cruel violence
We should be ashamed
We had a chance but we ignored
Now it's too late the end is knocking on the door
Ready to drain us

Drink this blood and we'll become Immortal baby
This love, is breaking the one last bond

Surrender to my love
Sacrifice yourself
Your picture in the frame
is fading like a ghost
Never say goodbye
Never be alone
Never say goodnight
Never say did I

Drink this blood and we'll become Immortal baby
This love is breaking the one last

Drink this blood and we'll become Immortal baby
This love is breaking the one last

Immortal love is breaking the one last bond

"Keep Your Heart Broken"

I'm folding your love in my heart
By the dawn I'll be gone
The road keeps us apart
For some time I'll be gone

You promise to swallow the tears when I leave you
You promise to follow the leads I will give you
You said you would crawl in the dark from the laughter (?)
You said you would long after me ever after

My love will grow black if your heart gets stolen
Just promise to keep your heart
One day I'll come back if the door's still open
Just promise to keep your heart broken

Days go by like the wind
And this life is too short
It makes no sense to give in
To release you from my thoughts
I promise to write you, I'll always remember
I promise I'll try to be back 'til December
I said I must go, I must face this disaster
I said I would come after you ever after

My love will grow black if your heart gets stolen
Just promise to keep your heart
One day I'll come back if the door's still open
Just promise to keep your heart broken

If you just promise to keep your heart
Promise to keep your heart broken
If you just promise to keep your heart broken
Broken

My love will grow black if your heart gets stolen
Just promise to keep your heart
One day I'll come back if the door's still open
Just promise to keep your heart broken
Forever and after my love
Just promise to keep your heart broken ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7515937/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7515937/ Thu, 05 Jan 2006 09:22:19 PST ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7497389/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7497389/ Tue, 03 Jan 2006 09:33:22 PST I've just had alot on my mind these past few weeks being back in school is cool but at the sametime it sucks. And other issues and stuff have set spraks left and right in my mind, more started up recently when I found old poetry and stuff I wrote in my freshmen year then I went an edited them up people in Journalism saw them and thought they were good. But anyways this song by the Rasmus has been in my head alot it's pretty.

"Keep Your Heart Broken"

I'm folding your love in my heart
By the dawn I'll be gone
The road keeps us apart
For some time I'll be gone

You promise to swallow the tears when I leave you
You promise to follow the leads I will give you
You said you would crawl in the dark from the laughter
You said you would long after me ever after

My love will grow black if your heart gets stolen
Just promise to keep your heart
One day I'll come back if the door's still open
Just promise to keep your heart broken

Days go by like the wind
And this life is too short
It makes no sense to give in
To release you from my thoughts
I promise to write you, I'll always remember
I promise I'll try to be back 'til December
I said I must go, I must face this disaster
I said I would come after you ever after

My love will grow black if your heart gets stolen
Just promise to keep your heart
One day I'll come back if the door's still open
Just promise to keep your heart broken

If you just promise to keep your heart
Promise to keep your heart broken
If you just promise to keep your heart broken
Broken

My love will grow black if your heart gets stolen
Just promise to keep your heart
One day I'll come back if the door's still open
Just promise to keep your heart broken
Forever and after my love
Just promise to keep your heart broken ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7245133/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7245133/ Wed, 07 Dec 2005 08:15:50 PST Just FOURTEEN more days!!! *looks around for a party outfit* ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7155476/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7155476/ Tue, 29 Nov 2005 08:23:33 PST on top of thoughts.
Out of all them,
they're killed-
by only one.

Sharp thorns of memories,
part for just a few.

Dim neon lights border the picture-
the melody from an fast tune dances,
around the mind.

From fast and juppy,
turning into a slow deep tune,
then- returning juppy.

Tender compassion-
scorches the floor,
as dark angels grace,
the Earth.

Blacken souls,
with different scars-
under the dead chill,
flood their prisons,
drown out existance,
of humanity.

One holds a black rose ,
the other holds a black heart,
both anti-transendenalist,
forever flaming under night.
]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7155195/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7155195/ Sun, 27 Nov 2005 04:47:10 PST As I said on "Music" I've become a "whore" to this cd.

I dream of the winter in my heart turning to spring
While the ice gives way under my feet
And so I drown with the sun

I've been burning in water and drowning in flame
To prove you wrong and scare you away
I admit my defeat and want back home
In your heart under the rose

I open my eyes with a sigh of relief
As the warmth of summer's sunlight dances around me
And I see you with dead leaves in your hands

I've been burning in water and drowning in flame
To prove you wrong and scare you away
I admit my defeat and want back home
In your heart under the rose ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7122184/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7122184/ Wed, 23 Nov 2005 10:29:23 PST

I don't want to feel anything today
(I don't want to feel anything today)
Anything at all I'll just be alone
(I just want to know that you want to know)
I don't want to live through another day
(I don't want to live through another day)
Meaningless to fight for the victory
I just want to dive in the heart of misery

One love, One life
Lock me in the heart of misery
One Love, One fight
Lock me in the heart of misery

I will never be anything again
(I will never be anything again)
I'm tired to give, I don't want to try
(I'm afraid to live, I'm afraid to die)
I just want to fly, throw it all away
(I just want to fly, throw it all away)
Meaningless to fight for your sympathy
I just want to drown in the heart of misery

One love, One life
Lock me in the heart of misery
One Love, One fight
Lock me in the heart of misery

One love forgot to breath
One heart refused to beat
One love is incomplete

One love, One life
Lock me in the heart of misery
One Love, One fight
Lock me in the heart of misery
Lock me in the heart of misery

Ah ah, ah ah
In the heart of misery
Ah ah, ah ah
In the heart of misery ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7103916/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7103916/ Mon, 21 Nov 2005 09:37:43 PST *moment of silence* *electric plays then drums and bass, followed by Aaron Lewis*

I can't believe how far I've come
Now watch me stumble and come undone
If you take away, these memories
All that's left, is just me

[Chorus:]
'Cause I don't want this
And I don't need this
And I don't feel this
It seems that even though she's with me I can't shake this
I can't fake this
And I won't take this anymore

So you choose to break my heart
I should have seen this from the start
I'm haunted by your apathy
All that's left is killing me

[Chorus]

Do you believe that the way you choose to be
I've always had to see
The brighter side of this so I don't lose my faith
Now the sun has gone away
It's getting colder everyday
So before I freeze to death there's something I should say

I don't want this
I don't need this
And I don't feel this
It seems that even though she's with me I can't shake this
And I can't fake this
And I won't take this anymore

And though you say you understand you still won't face this
Can't erase this
I won't embrace this anymore ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7103701/ http://Lil-Angelic-Star.deviantart.com/journal/7103701/ Mon, 21 Nov 2005 09:09:57 PST
Army of Me:
You can't
Understand I still have a lot to say
To you
A fortune nothing has left no time or place
My life
Upon my life there will always be lies
No more
I won't believe in this hypocrisy
You are
Parasitic bottom feeder
All you
Maggots you're one in the same
You all make me sick
Guilty
Especially you who justify your rational lives
Killing
You're killing in the name of God almighty
Cowards and crooks
Surrounded by liars, killers and haters
Cowards and crooks
Surrounded by liars, killers and haters
Cowards and crooks
Surrounded by liars, killers and haters
Cowards and crooks
I'm surrounded by filth
Army of me
It lives in us all
Army of me
It will avenge me
Army of me
It lives in us all
Army of me
It will avenge me
Cowards and crooks
Surrounded by liars, killers and haters
Cowards and crooks
Surrounded by liars, killers and haters
Cowards and crooks
Surrounded by liars, killers and haters
Cowards and crooks
I'm surrounded by filth
Army of me
It lives in us all
Army of me
It will avenge me
Army of me
It lives in us all
Army of me
It will avenge me ]]> ~Lil-Angelic-Star