http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:LostDemonsChild&section=today deviantART RSS for by:LostDemonsChild en-us Copyright 2010, deviantART.com Fri, 01 Jan 2010 10:23:06 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/27344297/ http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/27344297/ Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:51:38 PDT
That pissed me off. My girlfriend never said I had to move where she was. In fact, she was looking up apartments for me in so that I could stay in Baltimore. It was her aunt who offered me her home and it was my choice to go. Then she went to other methods of trying to make me feel bad but after a while I simply tuned her out until I went into my zone of being spaced out. Anyway, most of my stuff has been put away neatly in the room I've been given so of course I'm thrilled. I just have a few more things to move over there so I'm going to see if my grandfather will drive me up there again on the second of October when I get my paycheck.

I've got tons of poetry and what not that I plan on uploading so expect a bit from me when things have fully settled down.

]]> ~LostDemonsChild http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/26636365/ http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/26636365/ Sun, 16 Aug 2009 19:34:22 PDT

1. What time did you get up this morning? Morning...more like noon.

2. How do you like your steak? Well done

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

4. What is your favorite TV show? Don't have one

5. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Japan

6. What did you have for breakfast? Nothing

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Just about anything so long as it's good.

8. What foods do you dislike? Bananas, beets, and some squash

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Don't have one

10. Favorite dressing? RANCH!

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? I have a chauffeur called the MTA. XD

12. What are your favorite clothes? Jeans, t-shirts, sneakers and beaters

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Japan

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Ummmmmm....oooh Food!

15. Where would you want to retire? Why does it matter

16. Favorite time of day? Night

17. Where were you born? San Fransisco, CA

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? UFC

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? Don't Know

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? Doesn't Matter

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? Just About Everyone

22. Bird watcher? Nope.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night Person

24. Do you have any pets? My twelve year old Pitt-bull

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? If all goes well, I'll have a place to live so my mother being a douche and kicking me out won't be a problem any more.

26. What did you want to be when you were little? A veterinarian that worked on every kind of animal there was.

27. What is your best childhood memory? Don't recall.

28. Are you a cat or dog person? Both

29. Are you married? Nope

30. Always wear your seat belt? Yes

31. Been in a car accident? Yes when younger

32. Any pet peeves? Ignorance, Obnoxious and loud behavior

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? meat, ham and pineapples

34. Favorite Flower? Lilly

35. Favorite ice cream? You would ask a question like that...jerks.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Chipotle

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Haven't taken one

38. From whom did you get your last email? Monster.com

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Either Hot Topic if they stopped selling this emo-punk crap their selling now...or um...amazon.com I guess.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Glomp a stranger who was having a really bad day. I was rewarded with confusion and then a smile.

41. Like your job? Meh. It Pays

42. Broccoli? Nummy

43. What was your favorite vacation? Otakon 09 by far. Xigbar and Xaldin made my skirt happy. XDDD

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? My girlfriend

45. What are you listening to right now? My girlfriend on the speaker phone co-signing to some show...probably Maury.

46. What is your favorite color? Black, Red, And Purple

47. How many tattoos do you have? None but I am planning my first one out

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? anyone who looks at this

49. What time did you finish this quiz? 10:28 pm

50. Coffee Drinker? Mmmmmm coffee equals <3

]]> ~LostDemonsChild http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/22549929/ http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/22549929/ Mon, 12 Jan 2009 18:32:12 PST
Now update on my love life. Kay and I are no longer one but not to fear, things ended on good terms. We are still good friends. Our lives have just led us to two different areas and he didn't want to risk losing his life and leaving me alone. Military does that. Now I'm dating one of my best friends Michelle. My beloved Miki-chan.

Well enough of wasting your time. As soon as I get that scanner you will be showered in arts!

]]> ~LostDemonsChild http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/10429306/ http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/10429306/ Tue, 17 Oct 2006 23:33:01 PDT
The depressing/morbid themes of my page often help to express my true feelings on life which is going to make it somewhat difficult to explane why for a while I had really cutesy pink stuff as my theme for a bit. It was a fascade really, to keep people from worrying about me. It was my way of putting on a smile even though it hurt too much to do so. Now yes I wrote that I was really happy during those times...which was true. But at the same time I felt like dying, I felt like there was no point in happiness...I hurt so much but I didn't dare to tell anyone...not even Kay.

I didn't want to tell anyone because I don't like to worry people. I find it easier to hold things in and keep them hidden until I eventually become numb to whatever it is I'm hiding and forget all about it but for some odd reason I can't forget this. It's a never ending rutt that I am begining to think that I am unable to escape and I don't like that feeling. I don't know what's wrong with me. I may be bipolar to the point where it affects my emotions. For example one minute I'm on cloud nine and the next minute I'm in my own personal hell. However, I do have my suspisions that I am manic depressive or in other words I have constant depression and it's really begining to scare me.

I don't want this to rule my life. I want to know what it feels like to be completely happy again. I want to know what it feels like not have a care in the world. I want to know what it feels like to have complete trust in those around me and not fear betrayel or abandonment because of my paranoia. I want to beable to sleep a full night through without wakeing up in tears. I'm tired of telling my friends and those who care for me that I'm alright when I'm not. I want help but that help just isn't comming...or so it seems. I want help so badly that I am even seeing my school psychiatrist.

She thinks that medicine will help me but I don't want to be drugged. I don't want to become so numb to reality that I don't even know the differance between the reality I physically live in or the reality that my mind has created. Am I really that helpless? Have I really reached the point where I can't find any help less I start popping pills? I just don't know what to do anymore and I fear that if I don't get help soon that I'll break down....far worse than I ever have with previous nervouse breakdowns...have a breakdown so bad that I lose all perspective of who I really am.

]]> ~LostDemonsChild http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/8057448/ http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/8057448/ Fri, 03 Mar 2006 15:19:23 PST kitwickliff. This was the letter I sent her.




Dear Rhonda,
The first two few months of knowing you were great. We had our laughs, our good photo shoots but it’s going to have to come to an end. I feel that I can no longer be friends or associate with you any more. Yeah you may wonder why I’m not telling you this in person and may view this as a cowardly way out but whatever, that’s your motive. The reason why I am doing this in letter is to avoid any explosions of emotions and prevent any unneeded stress for the both of us. Now that I have gotten that out of the way these are the reasons why I can no longer associate with you and they will surely be followed by explanations.

1. You think you know everything
2. You are hypocritical
3. You’re sincerity seems to be wavering

Now to the first reason, I’m sure that when you saw that one of the things to come to your mind was “No I don’t.” Well if that’s the case you sure as hell come across like you know everything. When I was having a chat with that person about sharks and told him why shark attacks happen you literally butted in to tell me I was wrong , only to repeat the same thing I said but with an added two cents. I over looked that. I over looked the situation because I know that I’m not perfect and that I more than likely did things like that as well.

Then the whole situation with Pyro came about. You practically were telling him that you knew why he did nothing which was false. You don’t know the reasons because we didn’t even know you or even meet you at the time we had a conversation on the circumstances. That agitated me to no end but I was sure on how to tell you without ending up screaming at you. The final thing that did it for me that got me really fed up with your know it all attitude was how you tried to tell me what I did and didn’t have in my own house the night we were over Charlie’s. I also noticed something. Whenever your proven wrong, you always say “Oh, that’s strange” instead of admitting that you were wrong.

The second reason I figure you’d be more than pissed with because no one wants to believe that their hypocritical but you are. You told Pyro that he had no right to be depressed because of one it was something he had no control over and two he did nothing to change my feelings. Now after giving that whole speech you write in your deviant art journal about how depressed you were because you had to come back here when you wanted to stay with your friends is Minnesota, I believe it was. As far as I can see that was a situation you had no control over and also I see that you did nothing to change it, going by what you said to Pyro you have no right to be depressed either.

Now finally for the third reason, the only time you seem to ask me if I’m ok is when you want something. I’m really beginning to think the only reason why you’re asking me if I’m ok is because I’m your model and that you just want to be sure your photos come out good and that you will finally get me naked in front of your camera. If this isn’t true then why are you so persistent in getting me naked? If I don’t want to do nude shots, even if latex is going to be used, then I shouldn’t have to and you should keep saying, “oh yes you are.” So now that you have my reasons of why I can no longer associate with you any longer please don’t come by me and Ashley’s dorm, don’t call me or come up to me in school.



And this was her responce to my letter.

Jasmine, if that is the case I can understand your views regardless of your feelings. all i ask is that at some point in time the book that I had loned to you that pyro did deliver to your room does get returned in addition to the book and program that pyro has of mine that is at his apartment also gets returned. Seeing that I'm assuming that the entire crew does not wish for me to associate with them ever again in addition to you.

So be it


Ok so I figure that this would have been dropped dead and stinking and maybe even hopefully sit down and talk things over... but nope it wasn't and nope I shall renig on wanting to talk things out. This was what she sent to my boyfriend.

never the less, a friend of mine basically stated that due to the fact that I was Hypocritical, a "know it all" and a couple of... ]]> ~LostDemonsChild http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/7772073/ http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/7772073/ Wed, 01 Feb 2006 14:43:37 PST Everytime I give them money so that I can pay for my share of the bill they send it back saying "no you need that money" yet then they turn around and say "your not the one paying the bill." What the fucking hell man! Jesus fucking cunting christ! So now I'm just going to get my own god damned phone so they'll shut the hell up. ]]> ~LostDemonsChild http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/7688527/ http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/7688527/ Mon, 23 Jan 2006 18:41:48 PST in person. The entire time of us knowing eachother was from talking over the web, through IM's and on Gaia. We also talked on the phone practically every night and well I fell for him. So anyway as I was saying. I finally got to meet him the 30th and well, things couldn't have gone better. We exchanged gifts of the sort and I really hit things off with his mom. she luves me yay! ^_^

Well that night we did alot of talking among other things and it was then that we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend. My heart leapt when I saw him...hell I wanted to cry the entire three days I was with him because I was and still am so frickin happy. OMG!! I can't beleive I almost forgot to put this down! Two night ago he sang to me a song he had written for me while in class. As he sang it to me I couldn't help but cry . No one had ever and I mean ever sung to me before with so much love and sincerity in their voice.

Then last night we were on the phone talking as usual and well I suddenly felt really sad and said that I was afraid. He had asked me of what and I told him that I was afraid that I might fuck up and ruin all of this because it seemed that everytime something bad happened in my past relationships the finger was pointed at me. Guess what he said to me. He said "Baby, don't worry. You're not going to fuck things up. If anything in your past relationships it wasn't your fault. Michael was the one to cheat on you because you had morals and didn't want to take the big step of haveing sex just yet because you weren't ready. Victoria just wanted to keep you to herself and didn't want you to make other friends. You're only fault was being moral and haveing a big heart."

I wanted to cry when I heard him say that, because it felt as if a load had been lifted off of my chest. God I swear lately I have cried alot since I've been with him. I guess it's because with him I feel so secure to the point where I don't have to put on a strong front around him. With him I can be vulnerable because I know he will protect me and vise versa. Well now that you all have been updated, I chat with ya laterz. BYE!!!!! ]]> ~LostDemonsChild http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/7338521/ http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/7338521/ Sat, 17 Dec 2005 16:50:06 PST
It helped me in a way move on because everything she did brought my thoughts back to her. I payed more attention to how she needed me at the time so I wouldn't think about what had happened. If I lost Sage, if I truelly lost her I don't think I'd beable to cope. No one would beable to get me out of depression. Not darklittleangel, Dat_Voice, Rin Synoske, PyroSama, Asmodiaos_Fire (sp?)...not anyone. I wouldn't eat, nor sleep because none of that would seem important. I would just walk around like some lifeless puppet.

*sigh* I swear I hate this damn family of mine. God I wish I didn't have to deal with them at all. Well soon it'll all be over and I won't have to see em again. It'll just be me and Sage, on our own and away from them.

]]> ~LostDemonsChild http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/7293444/ http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/7293444/ Mon, 12 Dec 2005 16:28:03 PST
You see I'm in colllege and where I stay, I am not allowed to have pets because beleive me if I could I would have brought my baby with me. Courtney never liked sage so when she had the responsiblity of takeing care of her while I was gone she decided to just sit around on her lazy ass and do nothing. Sage is a well trained dog and will let you know if she has to be let out to do what needs to be done. The way she does this are as follows:

1. Pace by the back door
2. Pace at the top of the steps
3. Sit infront of you and stare at you
4. Nuzzle her nose against your hand
5. Pester you

If you ignore her she'll do the next step for you to take her out. Since she knows she's not allowed on the sofa she'll jump on it knowing that maybe then she'll get attention. Well my mother told me that she had been jumping on the leather sofa and clawing it up. One she would claw up the sofa if someone clipped her nails when they need to be clipped. Two she wouldn't even be on the sofa if Courtney would get off her fat lazy ass and take her out.

Now because of my sister's incompitance I have to come home and spend time with those fools and not have my baby around there with me. I have had her for just about 9 years and raised her up from a pup so yeah I'm fucking hurt. They went behind my back and put her down without talking to me about it. What's worse about the entire situation is the fact that my mom wasn't going to tell me. I had to find out by hearing my dad in the background saying, "You need to tell her that her dog got put to sleep." But did she tell me? No! She didn't!!

Just when I was getting better with my depression I fall back into it and it's all because of them. So basically when I get home they are going to get the silent treatment until I am able to come back to Florida to the dorms. So while I'm at it,( note this is not directed to the audiance) this is all I have to say. FUCK YOU YOU STUPID ASSHOLES!! ALL YOU EVER DO IS RUIN MY DAMN LIFE AND MAKE ME MISERABLE!! I DO EVERYTHING YOU FUCKING TELL ME TO AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET! COURTNEY FUCK YOU, YOU LAZY, FAT BITCH OF A WHORE! YOU ALWAYS COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW PEOPLE TEASE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR WEIGHT AND YET YOU DO NOTHING ABOUT IT! IF YOUR SO TIRED OF BEING TEASED, GET OFF YOUR ASS, STOP STUFFING YOUR FUCKING FACE AND DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE WITH YOUR GOD DAMN TIME!! I HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU SO MUCH INFACT THAT I HOPE YOU DO GO TO HELL SO THAT WHEN I GO I CAN HELP LUCIFER AND HIS MINIONS TORTURE THE FUCK OUT OF YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY!!! ]]> ~LostDemonsChild http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/7170401/ http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/7170401/ Mon, 28 Nov 2005 18:10:53 PST
Sin: or it could be nothing at all for months at a time since this girl is so god damned lazy.

I am not lazy. So leave me alone you big meany o stinky head thing.

Sin: Big meany.....

Anyway until next time bye!!! ]]> ~LostDemonsChild http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/7044312/ http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/7044312/ Mon, 14 Nov 2005 11:03:50 PST
Sin: Indeed. And for once it wasn't because of her laziness.

Shut up sin! Anyway my assignment or rather homework for today is to not only create some sort of pattern work but I have to make a logo for a buisness card. Seems simple enough but in actuality it isn't.

Sin: And why is that?

Because you moron it isn't. Sure you'll have plenty of good ideas at the begining but when it comes to doing it the ideas either flood your head and you don't know which one to go with or the ideas just leave you empty headed.

Sin: Well you should be used to the feeling.

Sin............

Sin: I only speek the truth.

...... anywho...I guess I'll stop writing now and get to work. ]]> ~LostDemonsChild http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/6078595/ http://LostDemonsChild.deviantart.com/journal/6078595/ Sat, 30 Jul 2005 14:30:35 PDT
Sin: Dont be paitent with her, maybe she'll get off her lazy ass!

HEY!!!!!!!!!!!

Sin: -_-; ]]> ~LostDemonsChild