deviantART: by:Luminosa

deviantART: by:Luminosa http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Luminosa&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Luminosa en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:57:20 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png Finally...I feel complete http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/19069330/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/19069330/ Fri, 27 Jun 2008 04:57:11 PDT Now we are four...and in a very beautiful way I feel really complete now!!!

Sorry for my so looooong absence, I try to be here more often now.
Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa Baby,Baby, Baby... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/14922439/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/14922439/ Fri, 05 Oct 2007 05:34:36 PDT But well...the baby will be born in May, again May...Danu was born on the 23 of May and the baby will be 15th, but well...I am definitely havin ga scheduled c-setion again this time, so, they will take her out earlier I think.
Oh well...thatÂ´s what it my life is all about now. I feel a bit bad also, because I do not have enough energy to play with Danu like before. Marcus has to do it and he is GREAT in doing so. Next week I am returning to work, have been at home now for a week because of the sickness and tiredness. Marcus has a big project running then and will not be home early, so I have to work and care for Danu all alone *sigh* well, I will have to make it, letÂ´s see.

Bye my dears

Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa NEWS and stuff http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/11443530/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/11443530/ Mon, 15 Jan 2007 05:40:48 PST I am so sorry about my longlong absence from here but well, you know, time flies!!!
I am starting to work again in march and Danu is going to a day mother who is caring for 4 children. I am happy and sad, curious and worried...I can´t wait to go back to work again, to bring home some EXTRA money, feel "useful" in a another way than only caring for Danu (which is VERY useful I know, but well, weird mummx thoughts, you know). But well, giving her to someone else than my mother or sister is so strange, giving someone else all my faith to care for my daughter. I KNOW that the day mother is VERY nice and we actually talked very much but it is very HARD to actually part for the first time. My little baby girl, seems to me like yesterday when she was still inside of me, moving and now she is outside, carrying my heart with her, running around like a big one, saying "No" to so many things (I know, it is important to learn that), growing to be a big girl. I LOVE HER!!!
And there is this wish for another baby. I so long for being pregnant again, giving birth to a sister or brother for Danu. Well....let´s see!

Another question. I am planning to buy a digital slr...which one would you advise? Tell me....

Love to you all

Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa Ohoh... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/10101515/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/10101515/ Sun, 17 Sep 2006 13:09:27 PDT A collective THANK YOU to all those kind, wonderful people commenting and faving some of my pictures. It really means so much to me.

Well, there is not much to say, mh, actually it is but nothing that would REALLY interest you

Danu is walking and running like a genius, we had first injuries on her knees, first plasters, first prosperities climbing the slide all alone, she is talking and quacking all the time, trying to repeat every word I say and that is SO very funny, she is now 16 month old

well, such things

And still there is NO free time for mummy

well, not much.

So, am tired (damn tired), bye, Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa a hot day of July http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/9465354/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/9465354/ Sun, 23 Jul 2006 06:38:23 PDT

Baby and husband are sleeping, we have been swimming with our neighours and friends and their children. Overall, a very nice and peaceful sunday and I am all happy and relaxed.

Actually there is nothing new in my life going on. I WANT to work, and actually it would be very good for us because we could really need the money I´d earn...but well, it´s not that easy here in Germany.
We can´t find a place in the daycare for Danu and so...NO CHANCE, that´s depressing in a way, but well...let´s see.
We signed her in in two daycares, one is spanish-german and our friends children visit this daycare. We would LOVE when Danu could go there, but well, I think there´ll be no place this year *sigh*

Other than that...I´d love to have more time to work on some ideas I have, do some photos on request and such...but my husband has so much work to do that I have NO time at all for myself, only when Danu is sleeping and then I am fixed to stay at home...*sigh*

SO then...that´s it for now, bye, Jeanette ]]> ~Luminosa St. Tropez http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/9271915/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/9271915/ Tue, 04 Jul 2006 14:19:24 PDT
See you

]]> ~Luminosa It´s her birthday... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/8854228/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/8854228/ Wed, 24 May 2006 03:36:16 PDT
No really...it is my baby girl`s first birthday today and I feel a bit sentimental right now. This year has passed so fast...at least it seems like this to me *sigh*
She is that close to stand on her own feet and walk and that really shows me that she is not a baby anymore, she is a toddler now...WOW.

I so love being a mom, although it really does not leave me any time for my own good...well, maybe my own fault

Although I think I have approached a deeper meaning of life and love and hapiness, sometimes I feel as if I have lost my "old" self...I don´t know if you can understand what I mean, maybe other moms do, I don´know.

I can remember so well the day of her birth, all my fears, tears and sorrows and all this fear I suffered during the time she was in hospital BUT also all the happiness and love I felt are still aware. I remember this day as the most special day I have EVER happened to experience...EVER.

So...let´s step into a next year of my little Danu and let´s see what life`s got for us.

I LOVE HER

Bye, Jeanette
Go visit my baby girl`s page

, there is a nother candy shot of her

]]> ~Luminosa it´s my birthday http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/8005550/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/8005550/ Sun, 26 Feb 2006 05:25:23 PST but I don´t feel old at all...NOT AT ALL!
I had a party yesterday. A carnival-birthday party...and to those who know me, this must sound strange, because I don´t like carnival at all... but well...what should I say? It was fun

I was dressed up as a pirate-woman and Marcus as pirate...Danu was dressed up as a little fairy. I am going to post some fotos the next days.
I am very busy at the moment. Danu starts to stand up now and that is so sweet. She is so big already.
I am going to care for a friend`s daughter, starting from wednesday on for a month. She has to work near of my home and so Clara (the daughter) is going to stay at our house during the week. She is 15 months old and I am so sure, that Danu will be happy to have another child to play with. She loves children so much, she is always smiling.
She was TOTALLY ill. She had a terrible cough and fever and stuff...uff, but now she is getting better *sigh*.
Another month to go, then we are going to Portugal for one week...I am soooooo looking forward to it...and I can´t wait to see, smell, feel the sea, the sea, the sea....THE SEA!!! YEAH!

Bye, Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa new fotos showing Danu http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/7904551/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/7904551/ Wed, 15 Feb 2006 08:44:59 PST [link]
I know it´s in german, but it is not hard to understand.
Look under "Danu mit 8 Monaten" to see new shots.
And...she is standing...YEAH. She is such a bigbig girl!
Go and have a look!!!!

Greetings, Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa she is crawling... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/7692689/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/7692689/ Tue, 24 Jan 2006 07:46:14 PST
But I am soooooooooooooooooooo proud of my little girl.
SHe is 8 months now and CRAWLING

!!!
Sorry to all of you fo rmy absence. I am trying to be online a bit more now, promise

]]> ~Luminosa YEAH...going to Portugal http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/7580964/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/7580964/ Thu, 12 Jan 2006 07:46:10 PST I can´t wait to be at the sea *sigh* ]]> ~Luminosa the smell of adventure... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/7476387/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/7476387/ Sun, 01 Jan 2006 08:27:27 PST
This year it is even more. This year will be so adventuresome, so WONDERFUL and new. I can´t wait for Danu to crawl, to say "Mama", to learn how to stand up and walk...she is going to celebrate her first birthday...damn, so many BIG things that I feel like bursting because of all this pleasant anticipation *sigh*
It will my first mother´s day, my first birthday with my little girl....aaaaaaah, I am absolutely happy, you know?

But in all my happiness I do not forget

`s little boy Orion Taliesin

, the boy with the most beautiful and strongest name I have ever heard. He still needs thoughts and wishes and prayers. Go and spread some hope and love!!!

Here are some books I want to suggest to you:

Haruki Murakami - "Norwegian Woods" and "The wind-up bird chronicle" both TERRIFIC books. "Kafka on the shore" will be the next on my wishlist

C.S. Lewis - "The chronicles of Narnia" and NO I did not see the movie and I am not going to do it...it´s just the written version that fascinates me. A wonderful peace of children´s literature in a very high quality of writing style!!!

That´s it for now.
All my best wishes for a wonderful year 2006 for all of you

Jeanette ]]> ~Luminosa go and give love and wishes http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/7421739/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/7421739/ Mon, 26 Dec 2005 10:33:10 PST

`s page and read her journal!!! She needs some good wishes and prayers. ]]> ~Luminosa an old passion newly-discovered http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/7138675/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/7138675/ Fri, 25 Nov 2005 06:06:38 PST When I turn on the hi-fi system and start to listen to, for example, a Rossini Opera or "The Nutcracker" or maybe some chamber music...it´s like a Time-Travel. I am 6 again (or around that age), sitting on the back of a BIG armchair in my grandparents house. My grandmother is in the kitchen, preparing lunch, and my grandfather is sitting in the armchair, his eyeglasses on his nose, a big book on his knees and telling me the Stories of "1001 night"....I remember I loved the story of Alibaba the most. And in the background you could hear the scraping sound of an old gramophone record of Mozart`s "The Abduction from the Seraglio " or maybe "Ode to joy" (he loved that and we played it on his funeral because he wanted it).
I felt so much whole then, soooooo secure and loved and so peaceful...I really miss those old days and I really miss the mystical muted voice while telling me fairy tales.
I still love him with all of my heart and I miss him so much. He arouse my passion for photography when he gave me my first Yashica. He arouse my passion for books when he gave me "Gods, Graves and Scholars: The Story of Archaeology" and made me dream of Egypt and made me want to be an Archaeoligist.
He was such a great man...he still could recite so many poems in his 80s, WOW.
And now, listening to some classical music from the baroque aera or some opera is so beautiful and brings back all those memories.
I listen to it with Danu on my knees...and I can´t wait to tell her the tales of "1001 nights"....and to give her her first book....I can´t wait.

This is for you, granddad and I am sooooo sorry that you could never see your littlegradndaughter...I am sorry for you and for her.
I love you....always!!!

Jeanette ]]> ~Luminosa life and happiness are so vulnerable... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6906046/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6906046/ Sun, 30 Oct 2005 11:28:06 PST My husband has been operated yesterday, it went good...but in the afternoon they had to take him to the intensive care because of pulmonary edema. They acalled me at home and I was like

fainting.
I saw all of our life rushing in front of my eyes....I was like: OMG, he is going to die and Danu will never get to really know her Daddy...happiness is over!!!
My sister came to look after Danu because you can´t take Babies to the intensive care. Then I drove to the hospital and believe me I drove like the devil in person. I ran to the intensive care station and ----PAUSE---- seeing my husband lying there with all those tubes and infusions and the oxygen mask on his face was soooooooooooooooooooooo HORRIBLE. Believe me, I went through hell yesterday...it really was the most shocking experience EVER.
Then the doc came and explained everything to me. SO it was nothing life-threatening but they needed to watch him very good. He got this pulmonary edema as a post operational complication.
I stayed for two hours, then I left to feed Danu. Later in the evening I called the hospital to get to know about the actual state of my husband. They passed me to him and he was all painful groaning that he wants me to be with him, that he is afraid of dying...so, I called my neighbours ( they live upstairs), she came down immediately to look after Danu and I drove (again, like a devil) to the hospital...I stayed again for 2 hours (until midnight), I held his hand and carresed his brow and I just spoke and told him things about Danu and everyday things, acting as if everything will be fine again and there was no need for him to worry. At midnight he fell asleep and I drove home. I was absolutely overtired and so hungry ( did not eat the whole day) and soooooooooooo afraid...but in a way, I did not want to give into these feelings. I tried to be strong and to believe that everything will be fine again.
This morning I called my husband and he told me that he can be displaced on the normal station again...so everything went fine in the night *sigh*
In the afternoon I drove to visit him, sure, with little Danu.
At the moment we entered the room and he saw his little daughter, he cried...he was so afraid of dying and of not seeing her ever again.
But everything is fine now...really. He is good!!!
And I am so happy!!! That´s what it is all about...that your loved ones and you are healthy and with you!!! I don´t want nothing else, just that my husband turns back home soon and to spend much time with him and our little daughter.
It´s enough of hospital stays for this year...ENOUGH!

Bye, Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa life and happiness are so vulnerable... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6906040/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6906040/ Sun, 30 Oct 2005 11:27:29 PST My husband has been operated yesterday, it went good...but in the afternoon they had to take him to the intensive care because of pulmonary edema. They acalled me at home and I was like

]]> ~Luminosa the blackest black :( http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6873133/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6873133/ Wed, 26 Oct 2005 12:41:06 PDT I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sad and afraid and done...my husband is in hospital. He has aherniated disk and has to be operated. He is in such pain...my poor love!
He has problems with that for some time already but not THAT bad. Since sunday we drive from hospital to hospital to orthopaedist to find someone to help him ease the pain. He could not sit, not stand, not lay down...that must be so terrible. He did not sleep for three nights.
I am so sad I could cry and cry and cry. But I do it now, when our little Baby is asleep, or in the kitchen where she can´t see me...I don´t want her to worry, she is so little she can not understand.
Now he has to stay in hospital for 10 days and then for 2 months in rehab ("2 MONTHS!!!!!!such a long time). He did not want to be operated but it is very grave because he can not really feel his one leg anymore...so they HAVE to operate. And I told him that he has to do it because I want him to race with Danu when she is a bit older, I want him to take walks along the beach and to show he the forest and stuff...

I am tired and afraid and sooo sad and sooooooooooo damn in love that it hurts.
Can someone please help me! I know, noone can, we have to go through this alone, sure with the loving help of family and friends and that´s good...I need it now.

Love to all of you, sleep well, Jeanette ]]> ~Luminosa Exciting NEWS and RobbieMANIA http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6836453/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6836453/ Sat, 22 Oct 2005 12:25:04 PDT yeah...so fast, hehe.
Well, they planned to marry next year in April BUT her b-friend is from Japan and his student´s visa will be discontinued next year in April...so, they do not have much time to marry without having some department control the marriage and her relationship and stuff, you know? They could think that they did only marry to make him stay. So, they had to arrange all the bureaucratical stuff, which is really much and so expensive when you are not German, and now decided to marry as fast as possible, at least to have a civil marriage. Next year in April they will have a BIG marriage party with all the family and friends from Japan and from our family in Italy and will marry in church. Soso...I am the proud sister and witness to her marriage (she was mine) and then am so much waiting for being an auntie

*sigh*
Life is beautiful and life is always surprising.
Only one who is suffering a bit is my daddy...his second (and last) little girl is going to marry...this is making him melancholic in a way.
So, much to do until next thursday and then...MUCH MORE to do until April!!!

Some other stuff:
I´ve just finished watching the Robbie Williams LIVE concert in Berlin.
This man is just DIVINE. He is pure dementia

I mean, have you ever seen a man that photogenic and alterable? A man that BEAUTIFUL and HOT? I would so love to have such an object in front of my lense

I love his music but everytime I see him in a concert I start to love every bit of him...not in a fanatic way like a screaming teenager, nooooooooo. I just can´t find enough words to describe how GOOD he is in every way.
My favourite song is "a better man"...and sure, I love "Angels" very much also.
He is really an artist in his subject.

_{Send someone to love me

I need to rest in arms

Keep me safe from harm

In pouring rain

Give me endless summer

Lord I fear the cold

Feel I'm getting old

Before my time

(...)}

Enjoy your week-end.
I am happy!!!

Jeanette ]]> ~Luminosa TAGGED http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6718301/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6718301/ Sun, 09 Oct 2005 05:37:47 PDT

and have to tell you 20 things about myself.
I have to tag 5 people so I am going to tag

So, here you are *omg*

1. I looooooooove my little daughter Danu more than everything else

2. I am addicted to photography

3. I love cats

4. I could cry when just thinking about cruelty (especially towards children and animals)

5. I can´t pass by a beggar without giving some money

6. I love the colour orange

7. I am pagan

8. I love fresh made bread

9. I looooooooooooooove to cook and bake

10. I am proud of my family

11. I am all bitchy sometimes

12. I am chaotic

13. I am addicted to the internet, can´t live without

14. I love to go shopping and buy little useless things like pencils, rubbers, glitter barrettes and stuff

15. I love summer-time

16. I love the smell of snow

17. I love my friends and would do everything for them

18. I looooooooooove doughnuts filled with red currant jelly covered with icing sugar *yummy*

19. I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE furr

20. I loooooooove beautiful words and I do collect them *really*

Well and for 21

I AM WHAT I AM!!!

That´s it!!!

Have fun reading it.

Jeanette ]]> ~Luminosa woken, wishing, willing http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6648869/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6648869/ Sat, 01 Oct 2005 07:27:16 PDT
With one wish we wake the will
within wisdom.
With one will we wish the wisdom
within waking.
Woken, wishing, willing.
(Dead Can Dance/a passage in time)

I feel fine, I feel happy, I feel whole and I feel deeply rooted...only thing missing is the inspiration for some new shots.

Enjoy your week-end

Jeanette ]]> ~Luminosa some blah-blah http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6511729/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6511729/ Fri, 16 Sep 2005 08:20:42 PDT Lilypie Baby Ticker

Well, actually I don´t know what to write. Sure, there are many things happening in my life right now but I feel sooooooooooooooooooo happy to just ENJOY every moment and I really can´t put all my happiness in words

One year ago I experienced that I was pregnant...

wow, that really turnt my life upside down, not only my life, most of all my emotions. I thought this time would never end and now I have my little baby girl sleeping peacefully in her cradle. On monday she is going to turn 4 months...yeah as I like to say: time flies!!! Now I am a mommy...and you know what? I want more

yes, more children...not now, but somedays

It´s the most beautiful experience I ever made and am still making. There´s nothing better (never thought that I would talk like this

).
Danu is sooooo big already and so sweet.

So, that was my thursday evening "blah-blah"

Enjoy the rest of the week...week-end`s coming up soon

Jeanette

More kittylove

check my baby daughter´s gallery...she is the sweetest little thing ever go give her some cuddles ]]> ~Luminosa some blah-blah http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6511724/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6511724/ Thu, 15 Sep 2005 13:08:23 PDT Lilypie Baby Ticker

One year ago I experienced that I was pregnant...

yes, more children...not now, but somedays

It´s the most beautiful experience I ever made and am still making. There´s nothing better (never thought that I would talk like this

).
Danu is sooooo big already and so sweet.

So, that was my thursday evening "blah-blah"

Enjoy the rest of the week...week-end`s coming up soon

Jeanette

check my baby daughter´s gallery...she is the sweetest little thing ever go give her some cuddles ]]> ~Luminosa Back http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6119002/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6119002/ Wed, 03 Aug 2005 02:58:09 PDT Lilypie Baby Ticker

So, we are back from Italy and I am feeling all nice and good.

Danu was such a brave little girl. It was her first flight and she was sleeping all the time, completely unimpressed by what was going on

making her parents absolutely proud of her, hehe. Well, we are proud of her whatever she does or is ever going to do

.
Now she is sleeping and I would have to clean the house because there are some friends coming over tonight...but well, I don´t feel like doing it right now

It´s awesome, Danu now really NOTICES us, her Dad and me...she looks at us when we are talking or calling her name and is smiling with her sweet little lips. She starts to grab for things now, very indefinite but she does.

Well, there is really nothing more to say...maybe one thing. I always thought, and actually many people told me, that I would change so much when being a mother, that my life would change an I myself. And I am beyond lucky to say that it is NOT that way. Sure, my life is enriched in the most beautiful way ever possible, but I am still ME...I am still chaotic and bitchy, I still love to wear freaky clothes ( I don´t feel like dressing up like a boring grown-up), I still can´t resist the seduction of many things...well, I am still Jeanette and I am happy about it.

So...I am now going to watch my baby girl sleep and then read something or just hang around the house doing nothing

Bye

check my baby daughter´s gallery...she is the sweetest little thing ever go give her some cuddles ]]> ~Luminosa OFF http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6026922/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/6026922/ Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:51:53 PDT Lilypie Baby Ticker

I´m OFF now for some days. Flying to Italy this evening to visit my parents.
I am soooo sxcited. It´s Danu´s first flight and I am curious if she is going to like it or not.
I can´t wait to show Danu all those places I loved in my childhood, all those nice people and friends down there and my aunt and uncle

It will be sooooooo beautiful with so many precious moments I bet. I take my cam (sure) and take manymany shots...then you´ll see.

DAMN, there´s so much stuff you have to pack and think of when you travel with a baby. My husband and I have one bag and Danu has one big bag all for her own

.

So, have a nice time at home

take care, Jeanette

check my baby daughter´s gallery...she is the sweetest little thing ever go give her some cuddles ]]> ~Luminosa lullaby http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5892941/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5892941/ Sun, 10 Jul 2005 08:00:05 PDT Lilypie Baby Ticker

That´s Danus and my favourite lullaby. We LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to listen to it when it´s feeding-time

, it´s so calming and so peaceful and so celtic.

The October winds lament around the castle of Dromore
Yet peace is in her lofty halls, my loving treasure store
Though autumn leaves may droop and die, a bud of spring are you

Sing hushabye loo, low loo, low lan
Hushabye loo, low loo

Dread spirits all of black water, Clan Owen's wild banshee
Bring no ill wind to him nor us, my helpless babe and me
And Holy Mary pitying us to Heaven for grace doth sue

Sing hushabye loo, low loo, low lan
Hushabye loo, low loo

Take time to thrive, my ray of hope, in the garden of Dromore
Take heed, young eaglet, till thy wings are feathered fit to soar
A little rest and then the world is full of work to do
A little rest and then the world is full of work to do

Sing hushabye loo, low loo, low lan
Hushabye loo, low loo

check my baby daughter´s gallery...she is the sweetest little thing ever go give her some cuddles ]]> ~Luminosa it is what it is...just feel http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5817448/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5817448/ Sat, 02 Jul 2005 02:47:31 PDT Lilypie Baby Ticker

Dedicated to one very special, dear and loved person...well, maybe for soothing the confusion

"Just follow. If you can't see, listen. If you can't hear, feel."
~~~" The Amber Spyglass" / Philip Pullman~~~

It is madness
says reason
It is what it is
says love

It is unhappiness
says caution
It is nothing but pain
says fear
It has no future
says insight
It is what it is
says love

It is ridiculous
says pride
It is foolish
says caution
It is impossible
says experience
It is what it is
says love.

(Erich Fried)

check my baby daughter´s gallery...she is the sweetest little thing ever go give her some cuddles ]]> ~Luminosa my daughter´s account http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5787946/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5787946/ Wed, 29 Jun 2005 04:22:53 PDT Lilypie Baby Ticker

I have seen Mary

do this for her sweet baby boy Alex

and I could not resist to do it also, it is such a sweet idea.
Sorry Mary, I hope you don´t mind

Go there to check my daughter´s gallery

From now on I´ll submit most shots of her in her own gallery and leave my gallery for my own shots and, sure, some of her. But I am really addicted to taking photographs of her so I would swamp my own gallery with it.

Thank you for reading

Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa It´s oh so quiet... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5701684/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5701684/ Mon, 20 Jun 2005 07:14:25 PDT Lilypie Baby Ticker

...and I feel oh so peaceful

Baby Danu is sleeping, sun is shining outside...life is great, life is beautiful, life is so worth living.

Enjoy your day

]]> ~Luminosa baby-witch on a broom http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5567404/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5567404/ Mon, 06 Jun 2005 06:44:52 PDT _{Ever we expected one instant more eagerly

Ever we suffered one instant more painfully

Ever we loved one instant more deeply

Ever we thanked one instant more honestly

In this instant you were born and made our life entire.}

Little Danu has been given many presents for her brith...but the most funny gift she got was a broom, a little one

We got it from our two very best friends, a couple we have also been to Mexico with. He always calls me "witch", actually I can´t understand why, can you?

....haha.
So, from the moment he knew that I was pregnant he always called the unborn "babywitch"...and now she is born he wanted to give her her first broom so that she can practice. Isn´t that sweet?

Well...in a way she is a little witch, hehe, well she is a girl, so need I say more? I don´t think so

Look at my scraps and find some more babywitch shots

Bye, enjoy your day and take a

I feel so peaceful now...

]]> ~Luminosa A STAR IS BORN http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5466096/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5466096/ Thu, 26 May 2005 09:57:19 PDT .
I am still in hospital, recovering from the c-section, but feeling relly fine. The section was easy, really...no pain at all. BUT..after my little Danu was finally born and only one hour old, they had to bring her to the children`s hospital which is in another part of town. They remarked that she had problems with breathing and with her blood-sugar and called the emergency immediately because they don t have a pediatrical station in "my" hospital. The moment they took her away from me was soooooooooooooooooooo horrible, I felt so much heart-pain, I cried so much and couldn't stop because I was so afraid that she could die ...*sigh* My husband was strong. He calmed me so the doctors could explain. So, it was not that bad but they wanted it to be checked correctly.
My husband drove with them and I had to wait in hospital .
I did everything to recover very fast because they told me I could go and visit my daughter as soon as I could walk. So...the next day I was on my feet and you can imagine, having your belly cut from one to the other side is hurtful in a way

...but I made it, thinking of my daughter every step I made, every stitch and pain I felt...and I was allowed to go there yesterday for the first time...taking many painkillers and returning to hospital every evening. She still has to stay there, but she is much better...
It was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful to see her, to hold her, to smell her (she smells like honey and milk)...I am completely addicted to her, in love with her...I can describe how much love this is...and I think only mothers really know what I mean

I feel happy, maybe it is the happiest, though most painful, time ever in my life. I love every day of it, I love my daughter and I love my husband sooooooooooooo much and I am soooooo proud of what we have "produced".
The pain is now really bearable, tomorrow I reduce the painkillers, sure laughing somehow hurts but it is a beautiful pain, when you see what it was for.
So my dear folks out there...I think I will return back home on monday. Until then, take a

from the happiest woman alive on this earth.

Jeanette ]]> ~Luminosa light the birthday candles http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5137192/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5137192/ Wed, 20 Apr 2005 08:40:40 PDT Lilypie Baby Ticker

I am waiting for you, sweet angel
To bless my life, my heart, my soul.

Our little daughter Danu will be born on Monday, the 23 of May

I am in love with her and I can´t wait to hold her, smell her, see her, hear her.

]]> ~Luminosa oh my...just make this end http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5117154/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5117154/ Mon, 18 Apr 2005 01:45:44 PDT Lilypie Baby Ticker

Well...actually and bodily I feel fine but mentally I feel like going crazy in those days.
I know there is not much time to go until my little baby girl is born, but it is still TOO long, you know?
Not having to work is fine, really...but the day seems soooooo long and there is so less to do...sure, I could iron our clothes (two mountains of

), I could clean the house, I could do all paperwork I did not in the last 8 months, I could tidy up my "chaos boxes" (and believe me I have many, full of little non sense stuff and pens and papers and letters and blahblahblah). BUT....I don´t feel like doing it. Sure, I want it all to be clean and tidy when Danu finally arrives, although I know that she wouldn´t mind either

But I actually feel like this old times are running out and that a new calculation of time kind of starts when she is finally born. Do you get what I mean?
You have to know that I am a very impatient person...and I HATE waiting for something, especially when it is already so close.
Well, there´s nothing I can do about it...I HAVE to wait...and until then I have to kind of amuse myself

So...let´s see what I will find today to do.

bye

]]> ~Luminosa rock´n roll & sister for Danu http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5066363/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5066363/ Tue, 12 Apr 2005 03:10:24 PDT Lilypie Baby Ticker

WOW...another few days to go

Danu is so vivid, dancing rock´n roll all the time, she is so in action during the whole day, only sleeping when I sleep in the middle of the night, waking me up when she wants to with some kicks in my costal arch *outsch*. Now she is turning and winding and stretching, I can really FEEL her little legs and feet.
I am soooooooooooooooo thirsty at the moment, I could drink and drink and drink with no stop

....water and juice and tea and EVERYTHING. There´s nothing I really crave for to eat...everything is ok as long as I have something fresh and delicious to drink

Do you know what I crave for? A cold and fresh beer...and that will be the first thing that I´m going to do when I am back home from the hospital. Pack baby and husband and go to a nearby beer garden to have a delicious, refreshing wheat beer with banana juice...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...outstandi ng delicious, you have to try.

Some might remember, that, at the beginning of this year, me and my husband resigned from the catholic church. We did not do this in order to save money, we just don´t believe...we really are not religious people. Which does not mean that we don´t want to act in charity. The money that we save now resigned is well invested.
So...Danu now has already a little sister. She is called Brenda and is from Africa. She is our godchild (well, it really bothers me that there is only this religious expression for it). So, we give money to her every month so she can go to school, have enough food and clothes and a children´s life with no work and good chances for the future.
It is important for us to share what we have, especially now we´ll have a baby it is even more important for us to contribute to another child´s life for there are so many poor children on the world.

So...that´s it for now. Have to iron baby clothes

and cook some nourishing meal for baby, husband and me

Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa My last day... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5032454/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/5032454/ Fri, 08 Apr 2005 08:17:29 PDT Lilypie Baby Ticker

...at work is over now and I am sooooooooooo glad about it. Sure, it feels kind of strange to know that I´ll be off now for a year, but it really feels good and easing in a way.
I can now do what I want and what I feel like. Sleep when I am tired, eat when I am hungry and meet friends, family and stuff.
I have six more weeks to go now until Danu will be born.
Danu is growing (she is about 45cm now) and getting fatter and fatter

(5 pounds already). My belly is still growing and I wonder where the hell this will lead

The dr said that there is almost just baby in my belly, nothing else, no fat depot or such and she is right. When I touch my belly a bit tighter I can feel her little spine, her legs and feet and her little butt

and this is sooooooo amazing. Also others can feel it when touching my belly

My daddy is always afraid that I am going to cause her bruises or stuff wen I touch her that tight, but it is ok, she likes it and the dr says it is ok to touch her like that

Jeanette

I am off, preparing dinner, Baby is hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

and me too

]]> ~Luminosa everything fine http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4930908/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4930908/ Mon, 28 Mar 2005 04:50:36 PST Lilypie Baby Ticker

It´s easter monday, that means, no work today. I´m feeling quite ok, slept brilliant tonight, which is not usual in this state of my pregnancy

Now I´m sitting here, eating some sushi

(sure, without raw fish in it, this is not allowed in pregnancy) and italian easter cake called Colomba...birds outside are singing and everything is rather peaceful.
I am now in the 31th week...wowwowwow, time flies

There is a shot in my scraps on which you can see how huge my belly is right now and it will still grow...oh no

I have another two weeks to go to work, then I´ll be on my maternity leave

that will be great, sleeping until my eyes pop open by themself, lying in the sun (yeah, it´s getting warm over here), reading and doing nothing except from waiting for my little one

So, all you dear out there, enjoy your day
Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa Praise to Danu and roots http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4860799/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4860799/ Sun, 20 Mar 2005 08:18:01 PST Lilypie Baby Ticker

_{Praise To Danu

Praise To Danu, Mother Of All Living Things

Praise To Danu, Ancient As The Earth And Sea

Praise To Danu, Nourishing Green Lady

Praise To Danu, Abundant Let Us Be}

For everyone who is interested in the roots of the name "Danu" which will be the name of our unborn daughter.
Very long but very interesting if you are interested

I found this text on some hp:
She is the most ancient of the Celtic deities. She is the Great Mother who rules the Many Colored Land. She is both a land and a river Goddess, representing the great rivers and the land of the Otherworld...Danu is enfolding darkness and brilliant flashes of light. She is cold as earth and warm as summer night. She seems to hold herself distant on one hand, and to speak personally to people on the other -- her moods shift like currents in a river. If you wander through the myths you will come to understand that her connection to this plane of existence is only through her children. She is the prime mover, she who came before everything else and is in some ways unknowable and unknown (hence the complete lack of altars and representations).

She is not a goddess to invoke for any working other than a dedication ritual, or to honor as Gaia the earth mother. Christians talk about giving their lives over to God, much in the same way that a pagan can dedicate his or her life to the Goddess. Danu is merely a name for the nuministic principle of the divine.

The root "dan" in Old Irish means "knowledge", an important insight to her archetypal traits.
In Hinduism, Danu is the primordial goddess of waters, present at the creation.

Exerpt from the book A Bard's Book of Pagan Songs (1996) by Hugin published by Llewellyn

Children of Dôn

Dôn is another name for Danu or Dana, the Great Mother. She is spoken of when we refer to the Tuatha De Danaan who are also called the People of Danu. These light skinned and fair haired matriarchal people came to the british Isles about 1500 b.c.e. from across the sea. Where they came from is not agreed upon by scholars.

Some think they were Greeks or Phoenicians from an island named Danu in the Aegean Sea which was vacated about the same time. Others say they came from the valley of the Danube River, named for the Goddess Danu, in what is now Germany. Still others believe they were remnants from the island civilization of the fabled Atlantis.

Settling in parts of Wales and Ireland, they moved out the local Picts and Fomorians, sometimes by force. They were firmly established when the first wave of Celtic peoples arrived. Though the Irish later masculanized Dôn, the Welsh kept her as their Mother Goddess.

We here go in depth with only a few of her brood. Bountiful is the harvest for those who pursue and learn the myths and tales of those folk from the sea.
Triple Goddess of the Ancient Irish Tribes, Irish Gods & Goddesses, and Faery Folk, Danu is comprised of Anu (the Virgin), Dana (Great Mother), and Badb, (The Crone). She is also considered the virgin aspect of Guinevere when she first marries King Arthur in Arthurian Legend. In Irish myth cycles, the Tuatha De Danann were the first conquerors of the island and their Goddess Dana was the earliest named Great Mother Goddess of western Europe. The root dan in Old Irish means "knowledge", lending us vital insight into her character and the reverence her followers had for her. Likewise, both the Welsh mother Goddess Don and Irish Otherworld God Donn are both thought to be versions of Dana. The cult of Anu was especially associated with Munster and two hills in County Kerry are still named after her breasts, known as Da Chich Anann, "the Paps of Anu".

As Danu-Ana, she led the Irish trinity of Fates, collectively called the Morrigan; Ana - flowering fertility godden, Babd - the cauldron perpetually producing life, and Macha, "Great Queen of Phantoms". In the form of a raven, the Morrigan would fly haunting battlefields, making magic with the blood of slain men. Under the name of "Don", she was masculinized as a "king" of Dublin in late Irish legend, yet the same king was called "Mother of the Gods. Sometimes the Irish called her Domnu, a mother Goddess personifying the Deep.

The Tuatha De Danann were the race of the faerie people of Ireland, warrior-like with strong family bonds. The name, literally translated reads, "People of the Goddess Dana", and they mark... ]]> ~Luminosa the sweetest thing... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4818095/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4818095/ Tue, 15 Mar 2005 09:04:11 PST Lilypie Baby Ticker

I´ve ever seen is definitely my little unborn daughter Danu. Yesterday me and my husband had an appt at a doctor to get a 3D sono...and it was beyond magical to really see our little one in 3D, she really looked like a baby, like a newborn. Sometimes the doctor switched to the 4D mode and we could see her move in 3D...shut and open her hands (little fists), shut and open her mouth, making faces as if she did not know wether to laugh or to cry...sososososo damn sweet. It was amazing.
I want to share it with you, therefor I put two of those pictures in my scraps. If you like to, go and have a look, it would be a pleasure to me. Look at her little boxer nose and compare with my nose on the id picture...pretty much the same, eh?

Today we had a very warm and sunny day over here. They say that tomorrow we´ll have something about 20° ....that would be soooooooooooooo great. I love the sun, the sun heals the soul...the sun heals everything and gives hope.

]]> ~Luminosa Finally... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4799667/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4799667/ Sun, 13 Mar 2005 06:19:42 PST Lilypie Baby Ticker

I made it....hehe. Here it is, the promised shot of Danu`s nursery.
Go and have a look if you like. It´s in my scraps.

.
Have a nice sunday

Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa just some words on a sunny sunday http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4739614/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4739614/ Sun, 06 Mar 2005 01:44:51 PST Lilypie Baby Ticker

So...and here it is again, the week-end, actually it is nearly over by now

wellwell...I have another day of vacation on Monday so, who really cares?

On wednesday I´ll be back at work, let´s see if I make it

...at least I have only 4 more weeks to work then I´m off on my maternity leave which is quite good. So I have about 6 weeks to relax, prepare for Danu and her birth, decorate the last things in her nursery, buy the last things we need and stuff, meet some old friends I haven´t seen for long time...and well, eventually do some nesting, I heared that pregnant women do that at the end of their pregnancy.

Let´s see...I´ll definitely tell you.
So, today I´m having lunch with my parents and sister and grandma at my parent´s house. My husband has to work

Sun is shining

, the ships are chugging on the river in front of my house, birds are preparing for their anthems to spring, the first spring flowers are starting to bloom, like narcissus, tulips, anemones and snowdrops...the last snow is melting away...*sigh* all in all it is a very peaceful and hopeful atmosphere right now and I can smell spring in the air.
That´s all. Nothing new to tell you.
Oh, have to say sorry to those who wanted to take a look at the nursery...actually I did not take the photos yet, but I will do so, promise

Go and give some love, thoughts and prayers (when you do pray)...her little brother was in a bad car accident and is in the hospital now. She needs some extra love now. She and her unborn!!!

Enjoy your sunday

Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa birthday and other blah-stuff http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4690051/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4690051/ Mon, 28 Feb 2005 03:51:49 PST Lilypie Baby Ticker

So...I am 29 now.

My birthday on saturday was fine, we had some nice friends at home for dinner and talking and laughing. And on sunday my whole family and the family of my husband came for cake and coffee. It was fun, although it was also exhausting and in the evenings my belly was always very hard and didn´t feel very good. But well...that´s normal I think.
On friday my beloved best friend Saskia

came over from Aken to visit me. She stayed until sunday and we had much of fun.
She helped me to decorate the nursery and it´s now soooooooooooooooooooooo sweet. I´ll put some shots in my scraps so you can have a look if you like.

I am now in the 28th week, not feeling sick or extremely tired anymore. My belly is getting huger and huger but that´s ok, although I am now really sick of being pregnant...

I want to be thin again

I can feel little Danù

move inside really good. I can feel her kick and turn, most likely at night when I want to go to bed and sleep. But she also likes to kick me in the morning and that´s something I really enjoy.
Tomorrow I have another appt at the doctors, have to check my bloodsugar and I will get the chance to hear my babie´s heartbeat plus we will see her on u/s again...that´s so exciting. I can´t wait.
On wednesday we are going to the hospital, just to have a look at it...uh, frightening in a way.

Enjoy your week and have fun

]]> ~Luminosa still ill...DAMN http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4603473/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4603473/ Thu, 17 Feb 2005 02:12:33 PST Lilypie Baby Ticker

I´m still ill...

that´s sooooooooooooooooooooooo annoying.
Yesterday I spent all day in bed with fever. Worst in this is I can´t take anything against it because of the baby...but fever isn´t even good for the baby. When I have it she has it also

poor baby girl. I couldn´t eat anything yesterday...so today I first took a big breakfast for my baby

Well, today I feel much better but still not good. I am off from work for one week now. Let´s see...
Good in this is that my husband is also off from work because he is also ill, so I am not alone

Apart from that baby is growing and in two weeks I have the next u/s...I am thinking on doing a 3/4-D u/s, that looks so great, almost like a real photo, it shows how the baby really looks like. But it costs about 100 Euro...well, let´s see, if I do I´ll show you.

So, have to go to bed again...bye

hope to be back soon to answer on all your comments and comment on all your stuff.

Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa 24th week, baby-stuff... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4508905/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4508905/ Sun, 06 Feb 2005 03:23:12 PST Lilypie Baby Ticker

I´m in the end of the 24th week by now...oh my, time flies so fast...it scares me on the one side but on the other I´m glad about it.
Yesterday me and my husband bought the sweetest little baby cradle ever. We now made a list with things we still have to buy...damn, babies are expensive before they are even born

But well, there are things you NEED to buy.
It´s really fun buying all those things and all those tiny baby clothes and stuff. We now have a cupboard full of clothes in all sizes but still have to buy some in the smaller sizes.
I´m glad to know so many Mums who sell their baby clothes, so it´s not that expensive.
Most of the things we have already bought and it´s now only a question of time to start building up and decorating the nursery...and actually I can´t wait to do that

But I have to wait for my husband for I can´t carry all those heavy furniture

Well, it´s sunday now and I feel still sick...I have a terrible cough and a sore throat and I feel so weak...damn it. I did sleep all the time now from friday on. But today we are going out for lunch with my family...it´s grandma´s birthday

In about three and a half weeks there is the next appt. with the doctors, another U/S...jipppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieh. My dad will come with us and maybe also my father in law. It´s so funny, they are all so interested. Last time my mother in law came with us, my mother has already come and my sister also.
Next time will be the first time to also hear my babie´s heartbeat plus I have to do a diabetes test...drink some glucose stuff and give some of my blood...ah well...let´s hope everything is ok.
I can feel little Danu now very good...she is always kicking me in my bladder, funny feeling

and my husband can feel her now also. It´s funny to feel her react when he lies his hands on my belly, as if she wanted to say :"Hey daddy, it´s me inside!" That´s actually so sweet and so amazing, I could feel that forever

Apart from all that baby-stuff there is not much happening in my life right now...as you might have noticed I have no ideas for any photographs...maybe for one or two pregnancy shots, let´s see.

In a couple of weeks my dearest bestbest friend Saskia

will come and visit me and I am beyond happy to see her...since she started to study architecture in Aken we don´t see that often. But...those who know us know that we have already the craziest stuff in our minds to do when she is here.
We planned to do an impression in gypsum from my belly and paint it in the end (i want to put this on the wall in the nursery)...we wanted to make some pregnancy shots plus eventually start to decorate the nursery. Let´s see...I´ll definitely tell you about the days with her.

So...enjoy your sunday

I´m off for lunch

Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa aaaaaaaaaaaah, there is the week-end http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4435784/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4435784/ Fri, 28 Jan 2005 09:37:40 PST Lilypie Baby Ticker

Oh....
I am more than happy...week-end is here and I so damn need it

This evening I´m going to force myself to go out with my love

, my sis and her boyfriend...going to have some cocktails tonight ...sure, non-alcoholic ones for me

, hehe, strange. Normally I don´t like to drink alcohol, but now, being pregnant I´d die to drink some red wine or a cold Desperados beer with a slice of lemon

Ah, I think it´s just because I am not allowed to

I hope I´ll stand it, going out, sitting in some smoky place with many people being loud. I mean, the whole weeks throught I just came back from work, fell down on the

and spent the evenings with

, going to bed at 10 pm

But today was different, actually it started yesterday. I came back from work at 5 pm and went shopping to buy some vegetables and food. When I came back I immediately started to bake two cakes...

Today I cleaned the whole house...somehow I feel more energetic at the moment...wellwell, let´s see for how long

I don´t have any plans for the week-end, maybe driving to some baby-shhops with my husband

, looking for some things we will need in the future like a mattress for the baby bed, a baby carriage and lots of other stuff. Let´s see!
On monday I´m going to a friend of a collegue of mine, she sells all her baby-girl stuff...so, she has about 60 boxes full of clothes and stuff and some other things to sell.

I had again some anxiety attacks because of giving birth...damn, that´s so scary

......can´t do anything about it, although so many people tell me about it and I decided to have a scheduled c-section anyways....*sigh*
Well, I try to

and to calm down...always reminding myself that so many women are going through this and if it would be that painful noone on the world would have babies...
well, maybe it´s a normal feeling when being pregnant. And I always try to focus on the outcome....and this will be magical

and definitely the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.

Sooooooo.....I am getting hungry

and my love

returned from work...time to say good-bye for now

Have a wonderful, peaceful week-end...enjoy and relax

]]> ~Luminosa back, exhausted and sick of it all http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4400759/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4400759/ Tue, 25 Jan 2005 06:50:24 PST Lilypie Baby Ticker

Well, I´m finally back from my working week-end...yeah, it was fun. Much laughing

and talking

in the evenings...but muuuuuuuuuuuuch work during the day. I did not get much sleep, so...I´m more than tired plus my belly feels so odd in the last two days. It is hard and feels like a cramp from time to time...well, must be some kind of exercises for labor-pain, don´t know.
ONly thing I know is, that I´m sick of being pregnant...really. I can´t wait to be thin again, to wear all my beloved clothes again. Those maternity clothes are HORRIBLE and not at all what I like to wear usually

On top of this I hate being so limited in my actions...I hate that I can not sleep on my belly anymore, well...at least, not that good and comfortable. I hate that I can not go to the gym and do the sort of sports I looooooove (martial arts, iron pumping, salsa-dancing)...and I hate that I can not have some extra-sun from the solarium as there is such a lack of sun in Germany in these days

So, I actually feel like a whitewhite thick maggot...and all life quality is gone

I know I know...there´s is a life growing inside of me, something wonderful and beautiful and magical and so...and I KNOW...really. But I am one of those pregnant woman whoe really really don´t like being pregnant and feel totally uncomfortable with the situation. They do exist...believe me! I am the living sample

Buuuuuut there is not much time left...something about 120 days or so...which means about 4 month. And as I plan to give birth through a scheduled c-section it will be a bit earlier...and that´s GOOD.
So...not really much time...but my belly will become bigger and bigger until then.

Ah, I´m going to stop it now...

The situation is bearable but not as beautiful as I imagined it before.
Have to go now....

is calling...and I´ll definitely follow and watch

the whole evening.

Enjoy the week,
Jeanette

]]> ~Luminosa OFF for the week-end, 21th week http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4366533/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4366533/ Thu, 20 Jan 2005 07:19:23 PST well, think those are the pregnancy attacks one gets when you finally are feeling better.
Only thing bad is that my stomach is kind of constricted in my belly, the baby is getting bigger and bigger and the place around there is getting more and more close. So, I can not eat loads of food, I can only eat small sized meals but therefore very often

Actually the baby is 24 cm right now...and weighing some more over a pound.
I can feel her move inside a little more then before...and that is really a funny feeling

I have been to a specialist on tuesday, he did a very detailed u/s screening to look if there´s everything fine with my babie`s heart and brain and stuff....AND, everything IS perfect he said...and that was such a moment of relief *sigh*

This evening I´ll start on a week-end trip with my collegues from work. It will be a working week-end, but I´m sure it will be also fun

So, not much sleep, much work, no husband

, no furry kitties, no

, no

but definitely much

....means, no week-end for me, have to wait for the next one to sleep until 12.00 h, hehe.

So, enjoy your rest week and your week-end

Jeanette ]]> ~Luminosa the poetics of desire http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4317404/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4317404/ Tue, 18 Jan 2005 07:47:21 PST

Throw away your papers tonight
put aside your pen
let your fingers
write on my body,
an empty page
a word,
a sentence,
write a poem
if your syntax hurts my skin
if I sigh, if I moan
just tighten your embrace
if your fingers stammer
dip them in darkness
and start again
fill up my margins
suffocate me with your grammar
proofread the madness
you have created
erase with your lips
any mistakes
your fingers make
read to me
what you have written
see the pages of my life
come alive
in your fingers
tonight.

Rina Singh

A wonderful week-end to all of you...and a beautiful night

]]> ~Luminosa to my unborn http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4277246/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4277246/ Sun, 09 Jan 2005 11:32:23 PST
...More than magical is the fact to have you inside of me. Normal and natural to many, but wonderful and new and also frightening to me.
There are thoughts in my head keeping me awake at night, there are thoughts in my head making me afraid by day.

Will I be a good mother?
Will I be able to give you anything you need?
Will I be able to give you comfort when you need it?
Will I be able to tell you my stories?
Will I be able to make you learn about my feelings?
Will I be able to make you grow up as happy as you deserve it?
Will I be able to give you a deeper approach to life?
Will I be able to make you recognize your special abilities?
Will I be able to make you grow up and be a strong woman, without all those fears and unsecurities I had to go through?
Will I be able to show you everything that is important for me?
Will I be able to nourish you with wisdom and love?
Will I be able to keep you warm when you are cold?
Will I be able to be strong for you when you are weak?
Will I be able to give you roots when you are small?
Will I be able to give you wings when you are grown up?

I don´t know all these things by now...but I know one thing.
I will love you with all my heart and all of my being, I actually already do. I will carry you through darkest nights and cheer with you through sunniest days. My thoughts are with you in every hour of my days.
You are the fruit of true love, you have been long expected...you are more than welcome on earth and already loved by more than only me. I can´t wait to see if you have my eyes, if you have his nose and my curls. I can´t wait to see myself and my love in your face.
My little one...made of two, made with love, a dash of magic added...feel loved from now on and for all time.

]]> ~Luminosa I am two and HAPPY too :) http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4258694/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4258694/ Sat, 08 Jan 2005 03:23:54 PST Yesterday I had my appt at the doctors, another u/s...and you know what? I am now in the 20th week of my pregnancy and she is already 380 g and 20 cm large. Could not imagine, already that big.

It was again all magical to see her moving on the screen. I saw her little mouth open and shut, as if she wanted to tell me something or sing us a song. She had her hand put on her brow and all the time she had her little legs crossed...hehe, well, she´s already a lady, a diva

And she showed us every part of her...moving and turning...that means she likes to show herself like her mother does

...good girl. There will be many shootings we´ll have together

Most of the time it feels more than strange to have someone inside of me, someone growing...so unreal, surreal. But those appt with the doc are so beautiful that I can honstely say that I loooooooooooove going to the doc, which is strange because normaly I hate it

In the next time I´ll visit another doc, he will do a doppler and a high resolution u/s...so we can see even some more detail.
As you might notice, I am all in love with my little girl

and after quitting the doc I bought the sweetest pink baby jogging suit I´ve ever seen...it has small "Superman"

applications on jacket and trousers and is soooooooo soft and sweet...

Haha...is that pregnancy mania? I´m sure it is

I´ll put the new sonogram on my scraps today or at the week-end...but it´s not that good as the one before..you can only see her little face with a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig eye...and that intense stare...well, like her mother

So, enjoy your day

Jeanette ]]> ~Luminosa This year starts all pagan :) http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4245177/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4245177/ Wed, 05 Jan 2005 11:14:10 PST I´m godless now, unholy, ungodly or profane (that´s what the dictionary gives for the circumstance I am in right now) but I like to call me pagan

I resigned from the catholic church...yeah, I have been catholic all through those years and now I finally decided to follow my inner feeling of not believing in that religion anymore. I don´t wanted to be fake...I want to be authentic and all honest.
I really don´t believe in god, neither do I believe in any of the propagated "rumors" and "tales" of the catholic church. Please, don´t feel offended, but that´s how I feel about it. I´d never try to convince you of that or try to make you a nonbeliever...believe in what you want as long as you don´t propagade and live it too narrowminded.
It does not mean that I do not believe in anything...I do...but I believe in the old ways...the old path to wisdom and life, the circle of life. Well, and most of all I believe in what I see and what is historically based...in any case NOT in things that are historically UNTRUE. We live in the age of advance and have all possibilities to "upgrade" our knowledge...so, in my opp. there´s no need to still believe in longest disproved things. Just my oppinion.
Well, but this would go beyond the scope of it...let´s leave this for some other time

I feel good with my decision and I have no problem at all telling it, although I know that many do not understand it.

Something else...

I have an appt at the doctors tomorrow and will see my baby girl on the u/s again...and I am so excited about that...I really can´t wait and this is honestly one of the beautiful things of being pregnant. I think I´ll post the new sonogram under scraps at the week-end.
Above this I can now feel her move inside of me...it feels as if she´d throw little cotton-balls at the inside of my belly, or like a little fish gliding through the water, touching my belly from time to time...like explosions of soap-bubbles...exciting and somehow funny.
I hope that everything is fine with her...
Her name will be Danu (Danù), we will call her like the celtic mother- or earth-goddess...this name is really dear to me.

Jeanette

That´s one of my favourite songs at the moment:

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my consience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I'v... ]]> ~Luminosa welcome 2005...light a candle http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4210595/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4210595/ Sat, 01 Jan 2005 09:28:07 PST I myself am always kind of thinking about the past year on the first of January. Thinking about what happened to me and how life was like.
In 2004 there happened quite some things. After a kind of crisis between me and my husband in the beginning of the past year, which we happily managed to "survive" our beloved cat Merlin died of a sudden heart attack (may he rest in peace until we meet again ). This time of loss was the hardest and saddest time I ever had to go through...but I survived with the love of my husband, family and friends (+Luzi ).
But after a sad start in 2004 it turned into something wonderful from April on. I have been to Mexico (Playa del Carmen) for 2 weeks and those weeks were GREAT...Mexico is beautiful.
And that´s not it for the year. In August we travelled to Japan and spent 10 marvellous days in Yokohama and Tokyo.
THe most magical and confusing thing happened after our return from Japan. I got pregnant!!!
And the most magical thing about this is, that I was already believing that I could not get pregnant...I mean, after 4 years of trying but well, now I am and it´s weird, confusing, hurting but also beautiful and magical and great. I really can´t wait until End of May when our Baby is finally born because honestly the thought of birthing makes me crazy...leaves me breathless and in horror and afraid...but well, I have to go through this and I will make it

Now there is a new Year, this year will be full of adventure for me and my husband and will change our whole life.
I am happy, yes. I am able to eat now without running to the toilet every hour to throw it all up ...I can sleep now without heartburn. But I want to be non-pregnant again not to have no baby, but to be thin again...I mean, it´s really a fairytale that pregnant women look like beauties and shine from within...at least for me it´s a fairy tale...I feel all ugly and pale and I am waiting for this inner glow every day when looking into the mirror...nothing .
So well...that´s how I feel right now, but all the same happy and curious about the future.
But in all my happiness and all this New Year stuff I don´t want to forget...

My thoughts are with the relatives of the victims of the Tsunami-wave, with all the people who are still searching their beloved and with those who survived this unthinkable horror. I hope they all will manage to live on, to not loose their courage...to be weak and strong at their time. Let us light a candle for all of them.
I am deeply shocked how fast life can be over and how terrible and cruel life can be at times.
And I am overwhelmed how strong the world is keeping together to help...that´s peace in time of war...that gives confidence in the human race. All my wishes and thoughts for South-East Asia

A http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/4117278/ Tue, 21 Dec 2004 07:33:55 PST BUT....there are some news which I first had to kind of handle and now I want to tell you all.
I am pregnant!!!
I am in the beginning of the 5th month and now after a time that seemed to be endless, of feeling miserably sick and hopelessly tired accompanied by many questions and fears and well, probably manymany hormonal changes ( like crying all day and forcing my husband not to leave for work )...I feel alive again...yeah, really, not really but alive Until now I can´t say that I love being pregnant, honestly, I hate all those changes going on with my body and YES, you can see a little baby belly by now ...I hate being kind of limited in some things, regarding drinking what I like, eating what I like and doing what I like (sports or stuff). But...sure, I am more than happy and I can´t wait until May when she will be born...I already love her with all my heart.
It is going to be a girl (95%) and her name will probably be Danu (Danù), which is the name of the earth- and mother-goddess of the celts.
Well, if you are interested, go to check my scraps to see the last ultrasonic "shot" ....you can see her adorable little nose and her tiny little hand with her thumb up and her eyes closed...and this white thing on the bottom is her spine...gorgeous to see her move on the ultrasonic...magical to see this little life growing inside of me...it kind of rewards me for all this sickness and I can´t wait to see our little baby girl in the next three weeks on the next ultrasonic
Go and have a look...
I think I will be online more often from now on.

I am waiting for you, sweet angel
To bless my life, my heart, my soul.

Today is the day of winter solstice (21. December)...if you want to know what I think about the christmas season, if you want to kind of find out the truth about it, find the key to it...go and read this journal entry from the last year...
[link]
I would be glad to kind of spread the truth about the old ways, not in order to force you to believe it, but to just know it. Thank you!

Love to all of you ]]> ~Luminosa Helium Vola http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/3404624/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/3404624/ Mon, 20 Sep 2004 08:08:45 PDT

First Album is by HELIUM VOLA and the cd is of the same name. The album is in memory of the victims of the "Kursk"...the founder of the formation is Ernst Horn, also known as composer of medieval-electronic bands like "Deine Lakaien" and "Qntal". Next to impressive danceable tracks like "Omni mundis creatura" (played in many clubs) it contains brilliant minstrel songs sung by beautiful clear sopran voices.
The conceptional background story of this album bases on a text by Michel Houllebecq which says: "The inhabitants of the sun look at us with indifference. We shall stay on this earth forever, and there we will rot, my unattainable love, never wil our mortal bodies become light."
The lyrics are based on medieval lyricism in Middle-High German, Old-High German, Provencal and Latin language.
No easy listening music, but very beautifully sophisticated.
Go...buy it and love it.

Second album is by QNTAL the album III. This is a brilliant album of unspeakable beauty, a felicitous unification of medieval music and instruments and electronical and modern sounds and instruments...refined with the angelic voice of Syrah (Sigrid Hausen)...and again, composer is Ernst Horn (Helium Vola, Deine Lakaien) and Michael Popp (Estampie, the third album I´d love to introduce to you). Very atmospheric...my favourite song on this is "Owi, Tristan".

Third album is by ESTAMPIE (by Michael Popp), it´s called "fin amor" .....inspired by old breton dance and celtic love poetry it is an album of outstanding beauty. Wonderful medieval tunes and chant that doesn´t sound in any way antiquated although the musicians use authentic medieval instruments. And here again we have the wonderful floating sopran of Syrah (Qntal) in some songs.
Beautiful songs on this (although they are all GREAT) are "fin amor" (reminds of Loreena McKennitt) and "Summerwunne". Magical, sometimes massive, sometimes spherical but always medieval until ecstasy !!! Go, enjoy this album with all your senses.

Fourth album is by Ashley McIsaac and is called "hi, how are you today?". I own this album quite some time and I loooooove it. Unfortunately it´s only me who likes it, so I only listen to it when I´m alone, can´t be so cruel to force others to hear. Haha!
The artist is a canadian fiddler. In his homecountry they call him the "devil´s fiddler". He artistically combines traditional celtic fiddle songs with own creations. Sometimes one has kind to get used to the tunes...I mean, they do not call him "devil´s fiddler" without any reason and damn, yeah, he fiddles like the devil in person
The genre of this album could be called "Celtic Rock", but is also called "East Coast Grunge"....well, I´d say it´s pure dementia.....
If you like it celtic, if you like it sometimes sharp and untamed and definitely not ordinary ( on the cover you can see the artist wearing a highland kilt, black doc martens and a canadian lumberjack shirt, that says it all)....go and listen to it and if you like to dance, this will make your soles smould . Let him fiddle you up to madness

So...hope I could arouse some appetite for those albums. They are really dear to me in the moment.

I´d like to end this journal with some beautiful lyrics by Helium Vola.

"Je chante par couverture"

I sing and pretend,
but my eyes would rather cry,
and noone knows the agony
my poor heart suffers;
I sing and pretend.

That´s why my pain changes,
because not a soul shows a sign of sympathy,
the more reason one has to cry,
the less affection he finds;
I sing and pretend.

There is no... ]]> ~Luminosa and here I am again... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/3282789/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/3282789/ Sat, 04 Sep 2004 04:01:08 PDT We returned from Japan yesterday night.
I´m full of impressions, full of beautiful, new and colourful experiences. I feel kind of crammed with images, situations, sounds, smells.....WOOOOOAHHHH, it´s an awesome feeling of being alive and being able to see, feel, smell, experience all this. I feel like bursting when someone asks me about my time in Japan.
We have been to Yokohama (near of Tokyo) for 10 days and it is such an extreme beautifully strange place to be. In an affectionated way we (my sister, my husband and I) called the Japanese "Freak-nation" to kind of tease my sister´s boyfriend who is japanese
But I mean, what else can you say about a nation that crowds together in Disney Land to see a one hour electronical parade of giant Disney characters, all wearing Mickey Mouse ears or Pooh Bear Ears, clapping, singing, laughing like children. What can you say about a nation that loooooves to queue....wherever they are...is it in order to enter the subway train or to buy a sandwich or to eat in a restaurant. What more can I say about a nation that builds Internet Cafes where they even sell slippers and toothbrushes for those who´ll stay over night.
It´s a nation that has invented tiny nonsense things for EVERYTHING.....I mean, I never saw so much tiny decoration stuf for cables or Computers before...I saw things I couldn´t even imagine that they would exist or that their existence would make sense in any way....haha. It´s a nation that sleeps anywhere, sitting or standing. They sell smiles for 0 Yen at Mc Donalds and eat dried salty-sweet Plums pickled in vingar or brewed red beans.....they love Comics and Kitty Glitter Stuff. They organize meetings with the same number of girls and boys in oder to find the love of their life. They have so called "love hotels" to be able to just be together, not just to have sex or stuff....but to be together when a couple is not married. It´s not likd to be seen in public when a couple kisses or stuff. They love to play a game that is called "Pachinko", where many Japanese men sit in full, loud and close halls the whole day in order to win as many tiny little metall shots they can change into money. It´s nation where you can win 10.000 Yen (about 100 EUro) when you make it to eat 2,5 L of soup with 7 servings of pasta in 20 Minutes. The Women put kind of bleaching lotions on their face and walk around with umbrellas in order not to get tanned. You can see women walking around like ancient Geishas in the middle of a modern quarter of Tokyo. You can find women that dress up like "dolls" and you can buy weared pants in vending machines in some places. The toilets are fully automatically, they even heat the toilet seat and play waterfall sounds in order that you must not be embarassed when you have to pee in "public" in a shoppin center or stuff. When you have finished you can chose between a "Boy-shower" or "girl-shower" for your bottom and then, in the end....dry your ass with the built-in ass-drier
Yeah, as we said...Freak-Nation...but believe me, it´s really meant in a lovingly way! DAMN....I am deeply impressed....deeply!!! The people are sooooooooo friendly and so attentive. I never experienced so much hospitatlity and generosity before. They are so interested in people from other countries and so fascintaed.
So....before this trip (and it was really a trip in all meanings of the word ) I always thought that Japan would never be a country I´d love to travel to.....but I do......damn, I do. I loooove Japan!!! Three cheers and a tiger for Japan and the beautiful people.
I shot about 1000 (!!!!! ) photos....and I would have shot more, but there was not more time left
My husband, sister and boyfriend were always kind of -oh no...she´s taking photos every three steps!- hehe....but it was all so new and BEAUTIFUL!
So...I´m now going to sort all my shots and then I´ll show you some.
I´m glad that I´m back....but I´m sure i... ]]> ~Luminosa für die Eine von der Anderen http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/3177243/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/3177243/ Sat, 21 Aug 2004 01:19:53 PDT Was ich dir sagen will ist: Benutz mich, saug mich aus, nimm meine Kraft und nutze sie...nimm mein Glück um deine Tränen aufzuwischen, nimm meine Gelassenheit und ruh dich drauf aus, schlafe sanft auf meiner Gewissheit und Träume von Tagen die schön sind wie unsere Erinnerungen...geh weg von mir, komm wieder wenn du magst, rede 100 Jahre nicht mit mir und mach durch einen Blick alles gut...alleine bist du nicht, du hast ja mich...bin stets bei dir, ganz tief in dir...und am deutlichsten siehst du mich wenn um dich alles dunkel ist...komm lass dich fallen, ich fang dich auf, trag dich ein Stück mit deiner Last...und wenn du magst dann reden wir bis all die Last sich aufgelöst in Staub...so wars schon immer, scheint´s mir.....doch wirds immer so sein...mal so und mal anders...so fangen wir uns gegenseitig wenn einer kommt in dunkler Nacht mit tränennassem Gesicht und wirrem Haar...der eine gibt, der andere nimmt....und immer so....immerfort!
Das ist Liebe die endlos hält und ewig ist!!!

Was ich an dir mag, ist unbeschreibbar
ist ein ungeschriebenes Gedicht
besser ich beschränke mich aufs Staunen
mag dich weiter und erklär dich nicht.

Was ich an dir mag, ist das Geheime
jedes Wort zuviel ist schon Gefahr
denn so schnell verfällt ins Allgemeine
was zuvor so ganz besonders war.

Ist es deine Stimme, sind es deine Hände
ach - dein ganzes Wesen fesselt mich
um dich zu beschreiben, bräucht es Bände
besser sag ich schlicht: Ich liebe dich.

Was ich an dir mag, ist ohne Frage
auch ein Teil von dem, was in mir ist
was ich mir erhoffe, auch was ich beklage,
alles was man an sich selbst vermißt.

Manchmal ist`s dein Gang
und manches Mal dein Lachen
manchmal deine Frechheit, deine Wut.
Eins ist nicht genug - was soll ich machen,
was ich an dir mag: Du tust mir gut.
(Konstantin Wecker)

I´m off to Tokyo/Japan for two weeks now....enjoy your time

]]> ~Luminosa holidays are here http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/3114711/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/3114711/ Fri, 13 Aug 2004 09:10:12 PDT So, much sleeping, reading, photographing, cooking, baking.....and, then......on the 24th of August I will be BIG IN JAPAN
I´ll take the plane to Tokyo to visit my sisters boyfriend and his family with my husband.

I´m planning to buy a new cam, a sony dsc f-828. Does anybody have any experiences with this cam? Or would you prefer another one? If yes, which one? Tell me......I´m curious.

Wellwell...on top of all these I´m planning to start my first attempts in street fotographie.....until now I still felt a bit too shy to do so...but with my traversable lens I´m sure I could and should dare it
You see a kind of first try in my latest submission...

So, best wishes
oh and go and listen to Moodorama.......greatgreat atmospheric music....very warm and soft.

]]> ~Luminosa a job for me, help me http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/2933526/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/2933526/ Wed, 21 Jul 2004 22:27:29 PDT
My husband´s father is headteacher of a school and is also very much involved into writing for a magazine of a publishing company. Now he asked me if I could imagine shooting photos for his articles. Sure I can
So, we decided to first try out some things. His next article will be about fairy-tales and their perpetual infection in modern movies and books, about the archetypes and the fascination that still infects young and old even in modern times, although fairy tales may seem antiquated to many. This topic fascinates me and has always fascinated me very much. One of my favourite books about this subject is "The Uses of Enchantment" by Bruno Bettelheim.
So, now my father-in-Law is in France for holidays and I have about three weeks to shoot some photos for this article.
I´m very excited about it, because it is a chance to do exactly what I like and loooove to do and the best is....but well, actually not the reason, but I know that you know , ......I´ll get payed for it and will get about 60 Euro for EACH shot.......WOW!!! I mean, that´s not to disregard. I could really need it for my trip to Japan in the end of August.
So.....now I´m searching for ideas and helpful suggestions for the shots. If you have any in mind and are willing to help me with my first real job in "photography" (disregarding the shots for a laboratory wholesale, I had to photograph beakers and stuff *yawn* ) then tell me......that would be more than kind. I want to really have this job......reallyreallyreally!!!

I stop and I stare too much
Afraid that I dare too much
And I hardly dare to touch
For fear that the spell may be broken
(DM)

]]> ~Luminosa finally... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/2916781/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/2916781/ Mon, 19 Jul 2004 06:29:16 PDT

SO....I´m out in the sunshine and probably not on the pc to do anything so don´t wait for new things in the next couple of days.
Bye to everyone..... enjoy your days!

]]> ~Luminosa vanilla-milk and cinnamon freckles http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/2870314/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/2870314/ Tue, 13 Jul 2004 07:40:40 PDT I came back from Mexico in May and my skin had the tone of cocoabutter with chocolate crisps (my freckles!)...now my skin resembles vanilla milk with cinnamon powder (my freckles!)
So, if there won´t be summer over here I have to go and search for summer....any ideas where to start?

]]> ~Luminosa nothing to say... http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/2732706/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/2732706/ Fri, 25 Jun 2004 09:44:59 PDT Have a nice week-end all of you out there

see and help!
Katzenhilfe!

I just joined

]]> ~Luminosa favourite poems http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/2688381/ http://Luminosa.deviantart.com/journal/2688381/ Sun, 20 Jun 2004 07:56:53 PDT There are two more poems I love, both also from Rilke, it´s "Love song"
and "Extinguish thou my eyes"

Tell me what is your favourite poem...

His tired gaze--from passing endless bars--
has turned into a vacant stare which nothing holds.
To him there seem to be a thousand bars,
and out beyond these bars exists no world.

His supple gait, the smoothness of strong strides
that gently turn in ever smaller circles
perform a dance of strength, centered deep within
a will, stunned, but untamed, indomitable.

But sometimes the curtains of his eyelids part,
the pupils of his eyes dilate as images
of past encounters enter while through his limbs
a tension strains in silence
only to cease to be, to die within his heart.
(R.M.Rilke "the panther")

see and help!
Katzenhilfe!

I just joined

]]> ~Luminosa