http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Malfoyslover&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Malfoyslover en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 15 Dec 2009 20:32:01 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/24434907/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/24434907/ Sat, 25 Apr 2009 20:35:52 PDT about 4 & 1/2 months now!
they think it might be a boy!
i'm excited!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/21940148/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/21940148/ Fri, 12 Dec 2008 00:54:55 PST no clue.

i'm cold and it's 11:00.
P.M.

nuthing much has changed.
except that things rn't going to well on the relationship side for me.

but other then tht (kz u'r getting spared the effin' details)-!
my best 4nd Stephanie and i r talking again.

my "home" sux.

my ex Paul is talking to me.
(woop de do.)
haha!

Addison is moving this month.

kamber and i r talking.
and she's got a b.f.!
holy shit!

do i have 1?
. . . .

i dont know.
i really dont.
i wish i can honestly say that i hav a great life and that my boy4nd kix butt but then- how can i say that?
we're not even really together anymore. he just sort of uses me. takes advantage of my affection 4 him. idk anymore. i really dont.
but when all this is done, i know i will have learned something from all of it.
i may not know just yet but i will soon enough.
god has a plan for me. what it is- i will soon KNOW!!!!!!!
by the life of me i will.

i notice that i've been horrible to my past ex.s . . . .
and i regret ever doing that to them.... they were so nice to me.... all of them.
and bkz of tht- i think god has punished me and put me with J. He treats me like shit half the time and expects me to be okay about it.
i love him,
but it's just not gonna work.
he doesn't love me. he said so himself today.... "i don't love you" then he tells his mom: "i don't love Ariana"
he's also called me his ex wife Judy- or should i say HAS been for the past couple of days that we've been together in an intimate way.
he says he's joking with me but i know he's not, kz if he was then wouldn't he have stopped when he knew it hurt my feelings?
i just don't know anymore.

and he's reading what i'm writing right now.

haha.

maybe he'll realize?
i doubt that bkz he's not the typr to take another persons feelings into perspective.
doesn't that so suck for me.
i wanted to have someone to love and i always pictured my first to be with someone who gave a shit about me, not someone who doesn't. who uses. god, feel like i'v been stabbed by a knife.
i'm sure you all know how that's like?
when it's all over with though, i'll have something to look back on and laugh about. maybe. i don't know. he always makes me cry.
is that what a "boyfriend" is supposed to do?
and i was told by a close friend of mine that any relationship that has so much arguing isn't a relationship at all.
that's pretty much true.
we argue so much!
i know i cause the fights half the time but he never sees my side of it!
wtf?! seriously!
and then it's always my fault!
i'm tired.
soemtimes he just makes me wish i wasn't there or wasn't born or SOMEthin'! I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111
Know you know my whole sitch.
now i'm asking all of you-

IS HE WORTH IT?
My time and energy? i love him, but how can u love someone who doesn't love u back and imagines u as his ex?
oh- and when u don't give him what he wants gets pissed at u?

time 4 ur opinion. it counts to me.

Ariana M.

P.S. that little blue guy on the little emotions/mood thing is J. all in a nutshell.

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/19554212/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/19554212/ Wed, 23 Jul 2008 11:41:29 PDT
and my mood isn't compassion like it says.

the computer is being wierd so i have to chose form a limited unseen choice-thing.

i'm in a down mood.


ANOREXIA

[ ] you have dry skin.
[ ] you eat 1 meal.
[x] you're very weak.
[x] you hate your body.
[x] you starve yourself.
[x] you have low self esteem.
[ ] you use laxatives.
[x] you need to be more skinny.
[x] people always say you're skinny, but you think fat.
[x] people think you are too skinny.
total: 7

ADHD (ATTENTION DEFICIT/HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER)

[x] your mind is all over the place.
[x] you are hyper most of the time.
[ ] you barely pay attention to anything.
[ ] you cannot cooperate with people well.
[x] you seem to never sit still.
[x] you talk all the time.
[ ] you need attention 24/7.
total:4

BIPOLAR DISORDER

[x] you can act wild at times then the next day you are depressed.
[ ] you are very irritable.
[ ] you barely get any or no sleep.
[ ] you are anti-social.
[ ] you have very high self esteem at times.
[ ] you are abusing alcohol, drugs, or sex.
[x] you have thought of/attempted suicide.
total: 2

BULIMIA NERVOSA

[ ] you throw up all of your food. [Anxiety attacks]
[ ] you throw it up even when you don't feel sick.
[x] you have no control over how you eat.
[ ] you use laxatives.
[ ] you have overly exercised to where you almost fainted/passed out.
[x] you always say you are fat, when you aren't.
[x] people think you are way too skinny.
total: 3

CONDUCT DISORDER

[ ] you are a bully.
[ ] you threaten other people. only playing around.
[ ] you often find yourself in fights.
[ ] you have used a weapon that could cause injury to others. (ex: knife, bat, etc.)
[ ] you are cruel to humans and/or animals.
[ ] you have raped/molested someone.
[ ] you destroy property on purpose
[ ] you always lie.
[ ] you stay out all night.
[ ] you have ran away from home.
total: 0

DEPRESSION

[ ] you are always sad.
[x] you find no hope in your future.
[ ] you find no longer excitement over the activities you used to love.
[ ] you always find yourself around the house or in bed all day.
[x] you can be/are anti-social.
[x] you have low self esteem.
[x] everything bad that happens is always your fault.
[x] you always seem to be weak or have physical features hurt.
[ ] you are failing school.
[x] you have thought of/attempted suicide.
[ ] you have ran away from home.
[x] hope is no longer there for you.
total: 7

OCD (OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER)

[ ] you have daily rituals.
[ ] you have disturbing thoughts or thoughts you hate.
[x] you have to do a certain thing until it feels right.
[ ] you have to keep things in a certain order.
[x] you have harmed yourself.
[ ] you are afraid you will get a std, aids, or any kind of germs.
[x] you have to check some stuff over again. (ex: checking the door repeatly)
total: 3

PTSD (POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER)

[ ] you repeatly have flashbacks of horrible moments/memories in your life.
[ ] you repeatly have dreams of horrible moments/memories in your life.
[x] you sometimes think the event will happen again.
[ ] you feel highly uncomfortable when remembered/remembering the event.
[ ] you can be/are anti-social.
[ ] you have lost interest in the things you used to love.
[ ] you have not had alot of sleep lately.
[x] you worry about dying at a early age or dying at all.
[ ] you can have angry outbursts.
[ ] you act younger than your age. (ex: thumbsucking, etc.)
total: 2

SCHIZOPHRENIA

[ ] you often have hallucinations (seeing things or hearing things that aren't there). THEY ARE THERE, they just aren't in the physical realm you close-minded spiritually dead son of a bitch. (whoever came up with this stereotype)
[ ] you have strange, unusual dreams or thoughts. messages biotch
[ ] you can be confused about reality and fantasy.
[ ] you think people are always staring or talking about you.
[x] you have extreme anxiety or fearfullness.
[ ] you have difficulty with relationships with family, friends, and opposite sex
[ ] you do not take care of your hygiene like you should.
[ ] you are very shy.
[ ] you often talk to yourself.
total: 1


that's me in a nutshell.

and people think i'm so nice.

i think i am.

i try to be.

i don't believe in abuse.

i try to make oth... ]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/19426784/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/19426784/ Wed, 16 Jul 2008 11:29:57 PDT yes.
but i'm kinda hurt....
i'm not sure what it is but- it might be the fact that the guy i broke up with is taking it so easy... like i didnt mean anything to him....
maybe it was good that i left him...?
i liked him though....
a lot....
i'm over him, but... i don't know....
something's wrong with me if it still bothers me....
but i really like James too.
more than him.
really.
but i meant nothing....
obviously.
makes me feel worthless kinda.
and what problems of mine did he maen...?
about my dad or something...?
or is he suggesting something else...?

james is in the other room sleeping.
he looks so peaceful.
relaxed.
not when he's awake.
when he's up, he seems to have the weight of the world upon his shoulders.
i wish i could take it all away.
see him truely happy, you know?
no problems at all.
nothing.
none.
so he could look at ease and peaceful like when he sleeps.
i hope i at least elevate that weight somewhat.
i like when he smiles.
it's like looking at an angel.
i like that.
i want to make him happy.
he needs happiness.
he's had such a bad past.
i really care about him.
he has some growing up to do,
as i do,
but other than that- i think we'll work out just fine.

James has brown, shorttttttt hair.
his eyes are beautiful; they're green with a hint of blueish gray, and hazel.
and he has this southwest accent,
or something like that.

and it's time for me to go right now.
haha!
welp,
i hope today is a good day.
it feels like it!
besides the three digit heat...!
James just got up! <3

i'm sorry.

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/19289530/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/19289530/ Wed, 09 Jul 2008 10:06:57 PDT i mean a lot.
my life has changed in a better way that seems more plausable and believeable.
first- i'm not with Gustav anymore.
several factors had to do with that.
money.
distance.
and a new love.
and his name's James.
James is a great guy who has his heart in the right place, who's had a rough and difficult past, and is - just- awesome.
he's about my hieght but a little taller by like an inch or two. haha! <3
and i'm learning a lot being with him and his relatives and i'm also working at a place in Laguna Nigel called Pet Junction!
that place kicks butt!
the people there are chill, nice, and we get along!
and another thing is that i've become attached to this one litttle kitten and he's a Calico - i think- and he's just the cutest little kitty!
he's sharp with everyone he meets and it took him a week to get used to me and now he srts purring right when i pick him up!
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!<3 <3
and i want him so bad!
Nicole, James sister, the manager, might let me have him!
she said i could actually and i want him but the only thing that's stopping me is that my mom says she doesn't mind but thinks my dad won't let me have him.
i don't know how to ask my dad because he's been in a foul mood for the past couple a weeks wit me and so it's like: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

but life's pretty good other than that.

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18646863/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18646863/ Tue, 03 Jun 2008 14:45:30 PDT that's all.



]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18572686/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18572686/ Fri, 30 May 2008 07:34:59 PDT Kam had to put some finishing touches on her school project. i decided to go with her.
it turned out that her ex.-friends Alexis and Stef (not Stef my friend but a different Stef) were their. they kept calling me all these dirty and bad words in Spanish and especially chinga. (it was either chinga or changa- i don't quite remember.) so i was like to that stef girl: "can you please not call me that?" and then they started yelling at me and i start arguing back. both of us were swearing- but i didn't do it as much. then they told me to get outside the classroom, and so i did. and they followed.
they then contiued yelling at me and started mocking me and i told them that that's childish and only children do that. the alexis girl got all mad and got all in my face and keep cursing at me, by then i had stopped cussing because i knew that it wasn't gonna get me anywhere.
then the stephanie girl moves alexis aside and grabs me on my upper arms and pushes me back hard and forcfully several feet and then grabs me hard by the neck with her laft hand and kinda squeezes and got so close to punching my face but alexis pulls her back and they start calling me names again and walk away.
that's what happened.

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18415281/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18415281/ Tue, 20 May 2008 13:10:58 PDT i went on:
Space Mountain twice,
The Star Wars one twice (it's actually called: Star Tours),
Pirates Of The Carribean,
Haunted Mansion,
The Indiana Jones one twice,
Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin,
Snow Whites Scary Adventure,
the Matterhorn Bobsleds three times,
and Thunder Mountain four times!
The last two rides i mentioned and the first one i mentioned are my favorite of allllll them rides!
i also wanted to go on:
Splash Mountain (we didn't because Kam was scared to go on it),
the Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters (Kam didn't want to go it - we couldn't leave her behind),
and "Honey, I Shrunk The Audience" (again, Kam didn't want to go on it).
then we went to Disney's California Adventure!
we went on:
Soarin' Over California (that was so scary at first but then it was kick butt and i wanted to go on it again! but we didn't cause the wait time was 45 minutes, we didn't want to wait that long)
that's it for that theme park!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18353089/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18353089/ Sat, 17 May 2008 10:43:09 PDT Anyways we were best friends but over the yr.s, since kindergarten, but she always'd get upset with me or something and she'd leave me to hang out with other people and say it was my fault and never make up with me, it was always me that did the making up. She never once attempted to.
And this's the first time that we've been friends since two years ago, our last arguement. More of her doing too.
And now she's upset with me because we traded something 'cause i needed a new one and mine was too big and now she's saying that she needs it back and i was like "if you knew you couldn't trade it why'd you trade it?" and she didn't say anything.
Then the next day she's all like: "can i have it back?" and i said she can't trade back because she knew i needed it and ignored what was told to her in the first place. I'm honestly tired of her always pulling this crap on me all the time so i decided this time i'd stand up for what i believe in.
Then she was all like: "we never said no trade backs or shook on it!" and i was like: "that's childs play. you're old enough to know that you can't do that anymore. and that those things shouldn't have to be said or done to do or trade anything." and she got all pissed and stopped talking to me, stopped hanging around with me, and is hanging out with the guy that broke her heart.
And that's really sad too.
She knows i don't like him for the way he acts and is with her. He would always flirt with her and mess with her and everything even though he knew she was in love with him major big time. Like for a yr. big time! And yet he still flirted with her too much.
Then one day she decided to ask him out and he flat out says no and that he doesn't like her that way, only as a friend- which crushes her.
And now she's hanging out with him again in the false hope that he'll fall in love with her. She says she doesn't like him anymore but you could tell by the way she wears makeup when he's around, the way she dresses, and the way her face lights up when she sees him.
I told her he'll never love her and that he'll just keep playing her but she told me to shut up. She knows i'll never go back and hang out with them so only she went.
And now that we're not hanging out anymore she's giving him her complete attention.
I pity her but i don't think there's anything i can do about it.

recap of this week briefly because i have like- 2 minutes left!
disneyland on Sunday was the bomb! i went on almost every ride and multiple times too!
monday i had del taco for lunch and did nothing special.
tuesday i did nothing.
wednesday i had burger king for lunch and hung out with chris (a friend) after school.
thursday i had del taco again for lunch.
and today i had ramen for lunch and am staying at Kam.s for dinner tonight.
monday, tuesday, and thursday i hung out with Kam. after school.


it's Saturday now and i just thought i'd add- i ate out for the first time ever! (at a resturaunt i mean!) we, Kam.s family and i, ate out at Red Robin! it was really good! last night!
and today, i'm going to a party for my friends b-day! it's gonna be fuuuuuuunnnnnn! ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18301239/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18301239/ Tue, 13 May 2008 07:31:56 PDT
and this guy, just met him, takes really good pict.s and he's learning photography so i hope he puts up some more car pict.s and yah!
and my bf's becoming a man man and i love it cause it's just building our relationship even more! <3

but a downer- it's about my cell, i can't use it Tuesday's and Thursday's because i'm running out of minutes already. Kam.s gonna put more but she can't till later. *shrugs* i can't have everything i want.

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18243499/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18243499/ Fri, 09 May 2008 14:42:35 PDT
anyways, this Saturday Kam.s going to put money on my phone. i could only use it for texting so i need to find out if Gustav's number, the one he gave me- is for his cell phone. i hope it is because i plan to text him as soon as i could <3
i love him so much. he makes my day bright every time i hear from him. *dreams and thinks of him* i really love him.
and he's hoooooooooooooooooooottttttttttt!!!!! he tooks some pictures and it was like at first:
"OMG!" *people look* *i quickly hide pictures so they don't see* l///l!! *time passes- opens pictures and absorbs every last inch of them last two pict.s* *bloody nose* @///@ yaaaahhhhh . . . ! *drools* he's so friggin smexy! i can't wait to be with him! <3

*awkward coughs and blushes* anyways . . . ! today Kamber and i are going to hang out and i'm having dinner at her place!
Tomorrow, i'm going on the comp. again and going with Kam so she could put minutes on my phone.
and Sunday: i'm going to Disney Land for the first time in my life! those tickets are about $100 but me, Kam and Bri are getting in for free because it's her b-day and her uncle is getting us in for free! no charge! i'm sooooo excited! i hear that place is Huge!
i think i'm going to have a lot of fun! i wish Gustav could be there with me, but in a way he is. in my mind and in my heart. so he'll always be with me.

speaking of what people and Gustav, even though we've been together for awhile people keep saying we're not going to work out and all these bad things, you'd think they'd seriously stop by now.

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18223257/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18223257/ Thu, 08 May 2008 07:44:58 PDT and now it's two days form then and i have minor cramps and boring classes to go to.
but i had fun yesterday and the day b4! i hung out with my best brother Chris and i hung out with Stef and Kam!
and Kam got me a prepaid go phone from AT&T yesterday!
i can't txt anyone yet though because it has no money on it yet, it won't till Saturday.
and is your phone a cell phone, Gustav cutie? <3

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18176836/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18176836/ Mon, 05 May 2008 07:41:33 PDT my mom woke up on the bad side of the bed this morning so i told her to not yell at me and then she goes and tells my dad and he starts yelling and complaining about me so i grab my stuff and and leave the houise to go to school and he says out loud as i'm outside so people could here "stupid!"
so i was like "smarter then you!" and kept walking away and i didn't even look back and know that i think about it- it just flew out my mouth. it was a natural reaction and i kinda feel bad but . . . should i?

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18153073/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18153073/ Sat, 03 May 2008 17:57:27 PDT today is a weird day.
that guy/girl that goes to the library was there again. he/she always has a Starbucks cup with water in it and dumps it on his/her hands. he/she has boobs (the only way you can tell though is when he/she runs cause of the big shirt he/she alwasy wears) but he/she also has chin hairs. he/she also has no hair and when tlaks you can't tell if he or she is a guy or a girl. i tried to be friends with her/him one time and he/she told me to leave them alone and don't talk to them. hmm. i was trying to be polite too! ':/

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18123584/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18123584/ Thu, 01 May 2008 19:31:58 PDT
]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18097939/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18097939/ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 07:39:47 PDT that was my day fro you yesterday.
^3^
i know what i'm doing after school today! and i can't tell you Gustav until tomorrow! it's nothing bad. on the contrary it's quite the opposite! and it pertains to you!
i'll give you a hint:
starts with p and ends with s.
it also has 6 letters in between.
another hint:
it has to do with a flash and an image.
that so gave it away, right?

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18043118/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18043118/ Sat, 26 Apr 2008 18:25:20 PDT
today's been an over all good day! i like today! but it's still had it's downs. like:
1.) it's 90 to 100 Degree weather,
2.) i was called a bitch by my mom (who never swears),
3.) was yelled at 3 different times by my dad and called a beggar- saying i beg my friends for every little thing (which is b.s.),
4.) and was rudely the victum of items being thrown at by my sisters and younger brother.
hmmm. you'd think i'd be in a foul mood but i'm not. i'm bright and cheery and not letting them get to me! *proud of self* how's that for being great!

i also found this really tiny book in the library about learning swedish. i'm trying but it's a little difficult.
like:
Apple is apple (the first word has dots over the A),
dam is lady,
damar (or was it damer) is ladies,
bil is car,
bilar is cars,
flicka is girl,
flickor is girls,
flickorna is the girls,
hus is house,
hus is houses,
husen is the house(s),
that's about all i know from the top of my head from my reading today. i'm proud i remember! now i hope it all sticks! ooohhh i hope Gustav's proud of me!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18004123/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/18004123/ Thu, 24 Apr 2008 08:49:24 PDT
]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17989203/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17989203/ Wed, 23 Apr 2008 09:28:05 PDT
the schedule this week is waked! it goes like this:
Monday and Tuesday are periods one, two, and three;
Wednesday and Thursday are periods four, five, and six;
and Friday is regular schedule.
Monday through Thursday's schedule goes like this:
Period Class (for me) Time Minutes
1 and 4 U.S. History & T.A. 7:45-9:46 2 Hr.s, 1 M.
9:46-9:56 10 M.s
2 and 5 English 4 & Art 1 10:01-12:02 2 Hr.s, 1 M.
12:02-12:37 35 M.s
3 and 6 Child Development & Unscheduled 12:42-2:42 2 Hr.s

but Friday it's back to regular schedule! and the next week is regular schedule! but then, the week after- it's that weird schedule again. the only good thing that comes from that schedule is i get like an extra 1H., and 46 M.s for Unscheduled Sixth, more free time and all. (^ ^)

me and Stef are going to go to either El Pollo Loco for lunch or to Ho Ho China. we're going to hang out with Chris Hallmark, another Chris, a guy by the alias of Kentucky, and a chick named Rachel. they smoke but we don't. they're funny and all!
now that i think of it, i've been offered a smoke but i never accepted it. isn't that a good thing?

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17910923/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17910923/ Fri, 18 Apr 2008 11:55:31 PDT and i've never been massaged before! so it'll be a new thing for me! i should ask Gustav if he knows how to massage. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO MASSAGE,GUSTAV? XP
i had El Pollo Loco yesterday! there salads are good and so are there wings! yum!
*gives Gustav a wing*

i feel like i have to p.m. him now that i know he reads my journal. XD

oh! holy crap! i'm almost finished with Communion! i only have like 10 pages left and i have like, 3 other books by him coming in for me! called: Transformation, Conformation, and Majestic! i know the T one is after Communion but i don't know about the other two! i'm so excited!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17895201/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17895201/ Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:00:19 PDT then i have the bigest headache in the world! *falls over on G.'s bed*

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17879743/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17879743/ Wed, 16 Apr 2008 12:10:51 PDT *falls over*

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17847495/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17847495/ Mon, 14 Apr 2008 11:58:32 PDT by fun i mean like going out to the mall and the beach and all.

(^ ^)

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17811854/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17811854/ Sat, 12 Apr 2008 11:04:58 PDT

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17794140/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17794140/ Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:16:50 PDT i'm so happy i can barely breathe! (don't know the reat of that song . . . .)

this morning my dad was talking to my brother and was all like "and j-walkers always get hit by cars. they all do. just like that one guy." and making all these crude comments refering to me cause i j-walk sometimes. (i don't do it that much any more though)

i'm making a cake with Kamber today cause my moms b-day is comming up soon! it's going to be funfetti and all! then we're going out!

GNN is totally my love! <3

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17778096/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17778096/ Thu, 10 Apr 2008 11:05:40 PDT
]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17762184/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17762184/ Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:04:42 PDT i was sick yesterday because i was about two weeks late in starting. yah. but i'm feeling better today. no more cramps and stupid shite.
i'm not sure about his other books either but at the back of the book it says he was to come out with a sequal to Communion, called Transformation.
i just about fainted yesterday and everything though. it was horrible and all! i don't want to feel like that again. good thing Kamber had Midal and all. i felt better in an hour and we did go to the mall. we walked and window shopped and ate at the food court, we had Gangis Kahn (i think that's how it's spelled) and then we went to Las Lomas, an elementary school and swung their for about an hour and went back to her pad and chilled taking some pictures and blasting her stereo sound system with hip hop and rap. it was great. lot of the pictures were crap but there were some good ones too!
i think we might have Sbarro for lunch today, Kamber and I. there pizza kicks butt cause it's not all greasy and stuff, and they're super huge and all! and they're an Italian food place! so yummy!
but not as yummy as someone i know
i'm in a good mood today as usual! (i'm rarely not. i have my off days but that's usually when i'm sick)
rammstein rules! (did i even spell it right?)

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17746162/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17746162/ Tue, 08 Apr 2008 11:00:45 PDT i saw myself in action in the future! O.o!! but it's true!
i'm going to Kambers again, but i don't know what we're going to do. probably go to the mall again. we do that a lot. it's a fun place to go!
i'm going to have to go soon. i'm seriously not feeling well. *falls on bed*
chinese for lunch maybe.

book book book. i'm on page 206. it's really good and gives me the creeps! i wonder if his next book "transformation" is just as good?

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17729901/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17729901/ Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:02:18 PDT i'm going over to Kambers in about an hour and my comp. session time is almost out!
i thibnk i wait to long to write here. eh. what can you do about it. nothing! that's right, nothing! haha!
i wish i had more time. |/

hoooooooooooooooooooooootttttt pict.s! *falls over* XD

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17696994/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17696994/ Sat, 05 Apr 2008 10:16:36 PDT i'm not going anywhere today because i'm going somewhere tomorrow. i have no clue what to do over break besides go to the library. (^ ^)
i don't know why but i'm craving In 'N' Out. it's like i'm always craving something. i swear i'm getting fatter . . . ! i just know it!
i honestly can't wait till summer! i just thought of something so chill! if i work at a grocery place and save 700 of my check a month that means i'll have ~ 300 to spare and i could get a good phone and prepay it so i can then talk to Gustav! that seems to work! sounds like a plan to me!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17682412/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17682412/ Fri, 04 Apr 2008 17:34:10 PDT our class it watching Titanic right now and i've never seen it before and it's soooo cool! (though i came in the middle of it . . . .)
it's going to be difficult to write to my love during this next, upcoming, week because it's spring break and all. it's gonna be hard, what with my dad and all.
i'm going to go to the county library as much as possible tho!
Cody, a supposed friend of mine was being a right meany to me. i approve of gays and lesbos and i think it's cute and all and he said that he thought this other guy was cute so i was all like "how cute! you're so gay!" and apparently two janitors heard what i said as they were passing and they slowed down and backed up and gave him this mock shock look (the janitors are chill) and Tyler (another friend of mine. he's chill too) somehow made it worse by acting like Cody was gay and then the janitors left. Cody's all pissed now and looks at me and says "you're just a ho and a bitch." and looks away. and you know how you can tell when someone says something and it's obvious they mean it? that's how he said it. so i grabed my stuff and left because it really hurt my feelings! so i go to the restroom and into the last stall and start crying till the end of lunch. then after school i'm walking with Stephanie, Brian and his younger sister Rachel to their home (brain's and Rachels) and me and Rach cross the light but Stef and Brian are stuck waiting for the next time it turns so me and Rach wait for them to cross. then i find out form Stef that durin that wait Brian had said that i was "annoying as f*ck!" and so that just hurts me even more and so i give him the cold shoulder and he gets pissed and he deserves to be pissed! that was really mean! he was supposed to be my friend too! friends aren't supposed to talk bad about you behind your back!
other then that, my day was good! (^ ^);
(you could tell i've updated this because i'm obviously not in school anymore!)

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17666274/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17666274/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:48:27 PDT so now i can't mail him and it's so upsetting. and he's what i live for.
*falls over and cries*

i emailed him back! Gustave baby, be on tomorrow! i'll be on! i might be a little later then my usual but i'll be on!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17658359/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17658359/ Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:17:36 PDT it's really awesome!
cool!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17650569/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17650569/ Wed, 02 Apr 2008 12:13:50 PDT (i'm happy today!)
(bell rang!)
g2g!
u rock Gustav! XD

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17631078/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17631078/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 12:11:53 PDT then i realized that that is such a cute icon thingy! i wish i could keep it there!
i noticed that today is cloudy and cold! it's usually hot over here! but i like dark, windy, and rainy weather! the bomb!
i'm sure i'll enjoy the snow too! it seems like a lot of fun!
i'm wearing light clothes today! this is the first time that i have worn bright clothes in about two months! and the clothes i'm wearing is a white shirt with pink, red, blue, green, and yellow pokie dots; and a pair of light blue jeans! wow! isn't that amazing?! i think it is!
probably 'cause the one i'm with is making me so happy. i've always been happy with him and i truely like him so much! i think he just got me out of my depression . . . . and everybodies tried to and failed. but he didn't. he didn't give up on me and it really strikes my heart in a good way.

and now i can't call him. cause kambers friend alexis!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17603375/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17603375/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 12:07:45 PDT i got to hear my Gustav's voice yesterday! it was really awesome. it made my day. i'm still happy about it cause i'll get to call him again today! (though i don't think i told him . . . . oopseses!) i'm sure his phone'll be on though. hopefully.
hopefully he'll say chocolate for me too!
i just filled out a college application thingy right now. it was nine pages and a bunch of work! wow!
i just finished it though!

awww. i guess i'm not call my honey today. maybe i can call him tomorrow?
i'm hungry now!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17573163/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17573163/ Sat, 29 Mar 2008 16:55:33 PDT i wish i knew Swedish 'cause then i'd know what Gustav said in reply to my last journal entry.
another random fact about me! --> i don't eat folded chips!
i didn't go out to Kambers today because she has to help her grandma with something but i will be going over tomorrow! then i can finally, hopefully, send Gustav his pict.s of a sunburned me in my swimsuit. i was going to be wearing a black shirt like top with a black, short skirted bottom but then kamber said i looked better in the green bra like top and bottom unskirted green bottom piece. *sighs* i think i'm ugly. i hope he likes them though.
i should be able to get a job so i could save up money for my flight to Stockholm, Sweden and be able to fly a little earlier! i hope that's good news for you, Gustav! *blows a kiss to him*

i haven't eaten all day because i've been at the library! wow! and i'm not even hungry!
i'm wearing this really cool shirt with a skull on the back with a snake coming out of it! it's not a clingy shirt and it looks gangster!
btw, i only have red-ish socks so you know that's the color they'll always be!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17554850/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17554850/ Fri, 28 Mar 2008 12:07:01 PDT she's really nice though. bossy and easily angered, but nice. (^ ^)
the librarian is Texan and has that accent and it's soooo funny! she sounds like a chipmunk! *rofl*
i'm hungry for Chinese all of a sudden! and Gustav know why! XD

on another note. isn't tagging just another way of sending chainmail? except more personalized? like sending something to people and those people send to more people and they send to even more people? i'm sorry Gustav, you may mean a lot to me and all but i dislike chainmail. but i'll post those eight random facts about myself. (some rules are made to be broken!)
*1) I'm bad with foriegn languages (but i try!)
*2) I act like a slut. (but i'm not!)
*3) I look fourteen.
*4) I've made out with another girl and liked it.
*5) I share my room with three other people. X_x (and hate it.)
*6) I've never dumped a guy before. (they dump me.)
*7) I trust everyone till they prove me wrong. (so very true.)
*8) I love spagetti with hotsauce and not the sauce it comes with! (so yummy!)

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17540218/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17540218/ Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:05:39 PDT and another issue to address. why are phones so complicated?! gawd! i swear- technology is not for me! *sighs* i'd curse technology but without it- i wouldn't be able to talk to one of the best people in the world! honestly, i'm not lying, he rocks my world. i wish he was here with me or i was there with him. i want to be his gf but he has to say yes to me first before we could be together that way. (damn he cuteness!)
'--> i'll do his tag thing tomorrow!
i found the book you were telling me about! i'm going to start on it tonight!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17508597/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17508597/ Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:11:16 PDT i'm tired today.
not hungry.
Gustav- i don't YAH, you have to believe me!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17491692/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17491692/ Mon, 24 Mar 2008 12:09:37 PDT and sunday- . . . i did nothing. interestingly boring.
my dad's all like "i hope and want your sisters to beat you up" to me. how f**ked up is that! all because i'm trying to protect them! and they're all being beotches to me. Kamber tells me to just stop trying to protect them bkz they obviously don't care and don't appreciate it. but i can't because:
A.) that wouldn't be right,
and B.) my dad's all like "if i get out of this all right- i'm going to ruin you and your brother Anthony and Chris. i'm going to bring you to court and make you pay!"
so i can't not go through with this!
and today- i'm hungry as hell and spending most this time replying to a favored friend. you know who you are! (Gustav!)
time to go-hooooo!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17425426/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17425426/ Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:09:47 PDT i'm in a better mood, but still a little depressed. the yelling never stops at home for me. and everyone wants me out of the house. *sighs* what's a girl like me to do? i forgot where i got that's from!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17409544/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17409544/ Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:06:28 PDT going now. hopefully tomorrow will be better. '

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17393633/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17393633/ Tue, 18 Mar 2008 11:22:50 PDT no lunch today but i have to work on Senior Project.

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17378433/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17378433/ Mon, 17 Mar 2008 12:06:43 PDT but last night when i went home my dumb dad yelled at me from 8 to 10 p.m. yelling at me about how i should never have been born, and about how i shouldn't live their anymore, and blah blah blah.
but today- ! Gustav made my day! i adore him! he's so nice! i wouldn't trade him for the world!
i'm going to the Jiffy Mart for lunch today, and Jack In The Box too!
anohter thing! Gustav is so damn sexy! you should see him! *kisses him* Eeps! (////) you should see him. *nods*
almost time for lunch! gah! *falls over*

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17360753/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17360753/ Sun, 16 Mar 2008 18:14:43 PDT i'm also going back to her house after this!
i don't know what we're going to eat, but i hope it's good! kambers house has become like my second house! it really has! her family rocks! they're so nice to me! yay!
i love cats! tey have two of them! but they also have a dog. i'm soooo afraid of dogs. i almost got killed by one when i was really young and now i'm afraid of them.
i'm also afraid of heights. Supreme Scream at Knotts scared the shiit out of me! i've only been their twice btw.
i have to get going soon!

i'm back on!
it's late nows! late afternoon, actually. after we got back from the skate rink, which was boring but fun! (ironic!) we went to te Brea Mall, had Panda Express, then went to the Whittwood Wood Mall (which is more like an outside mallish, shopping center thing.) and now i'm back at her place!
but i'll be going ome soon. in about an hour, un4tunately . . . .
Gustav, you're making my day! XD

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17352152/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17352152/ Sat, 15 Mar 2008 18:41:53 PDT anyways . . .
i'm back at Kambers place and se said there'll be thunderstorms tonight! supposed to be, btw. i hope there is! i love them! they kick total butt!
(btw: i'm usually not on Saturdays, and Sundays. this' one of those rare occasions.) (^ ^)

i'm going to Kambers sister's (Danielle) soccer fundraiser tomorrow! i'm gonna be expected to skate, i just know it. ah, well, fate does this to me. fate, my fickle friend. XD
i must get going now. the sands of time have just run out.

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17329711/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17329711/ Fri, 14 Mar 2008 11:22:57 PDT i was going to update yesterdays journal entry but a dumba** unplugged the connection and i lost it. and now he's being a jerk to me and acting like nothing happened.
the worst part was when my supposed best friend Stephanie took his side and said he didn't do anything.
today sucks.
everyone's taking their anger out on me.
but kamber and me are going to her house for lunch! her car is da bomb! it's a Mazda Maita Sports Car, colored red! it's awesome! going to a party tomorrow, maybe. and Disneyland for the first time in my life Sunday! (maybe . . . .)
went to the eye doctor yesterday and i'm far sighted (der), and i have a fracture in my eyes? somethin' like that anyways. off to lunch!

]]> ~Malfoyslover http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17314950/ http://Malfoyslover.deviantart.com/journal/17314950/ Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:54:51 PDT my dad's abusive to me. yup. and he started yelling at me over nothing, cause i wasn't looking at him when he "talked" as he so rightously puts it, and he was going to hit me. right before he did, he stopped cause he knows that i went to the police before so i'd go again. and i know he's gonna yell at me agian today, when i get home. like he does every single day.
*sighs* i wish he would just leave me alone . . . .

]]> ~Malfoyslover