http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:MalignantApathy&section=today deviantART RSS for by:MalignantApathy en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:12:08 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/3191595/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/3191595/ Sun, 22 Aug 2004 23:16:03 PDT ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2677448/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2677448/ Wed, 16 Jun 2004 19:32:05 PDT ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2600123/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2600123/ Sun, 06 Jun 2004 20:59:13 PDT So check' em' out when you have a chance ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2433900/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2433900/ Sat, 15 May 2004 10:54:39 PDT ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2324117/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2324117/ Thu, 29 Apr 2004 13:25:46 PDT .< And a portible DVD player, and some dickies shirts + pants. And i'm going to see iced earth in about 3 hours ! Todays a great day, but theres one thing I didnt get just yet..her. I'd give it all away for her. But maybe that will change soon. Anyway's, I love all of you ( though I only know a handfull of you ) Thank you everyone, have a great day ^.^ ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2155362/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2155362/ Mon, 05 Apr 2004 05:46:16 PDT ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2131892/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2131892/ Thu, 01 Apr 2004 17:18:40 PST Hoping I never wake up from that medicated dream, all I can hope for now is to die in my sleep. The sweet escape. And the realization of knowing that we'll both be happy. ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2112655/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2112655/ Mon, 29 Mar 2004 23:06:54 PST ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2044919/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/2044919/ Fri, 19 Mar 2004 18:16:43 PST ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1984358/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1984358/ Tue, 09 Mar 2004 23:24:11 PST
She lays collapsed and dazed on her back

All the while reassuring me it'll all be okay.

But it wont.

Because all she is now is another statistic in my book.

Without hope. ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1939961/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1939961/ Tue, 02 Mar 2004 14:50:52 PST Shes very precise with her comments, and covers everything down to the very last detail. More people should be like her lol. Regardless, thank you everyone for the comments! :hugs: for all ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1806760/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1806760/ Sat, 07 Feb 2004 03:09:18 PST

I'm slowly decaying inside. My life, by the second, becomes more and more complicated. Inoperable tumors form in the corners of my mind. There isn't anything in this world that would help me right now. Except maybe, death? Sometimes I wonder how different things would be without me here. Better, worse, the same? I've destroyed lives, hearts and minds. I need to snuff out the pain, but the conventional ways of doing so are way to harsh. Death may be the answer, but unfortunatly I am too considerate for that. I wonder why I havent already? Why I havent snuffed out the pain by means of a fatal kind. There was a point in my life where I didn't care about people or myself. A point where driving a butcher knife into my neck would have been a great escape. It's actually pretty sad. I pity the suicidal, I see them as pathetic. And here I am, with tales of lacerated necks and bloody knives. But frankly, sometimes I dont blame them. Sometimes I look into their eyes and see nothingness. A hallow space where their innocense once was. And at that moment, I feel something inside me. A feeling that seldom insues, A feeling that only the empty eyes could bring. I can relate to that person. I see that empty space, and look into myself through the reflection in their eyes. Feels like shit. There is nothing to fill that void. All the booze and medication in the world couldnt drown out the feeling of emptyness. I wonder what the hell my purpose on earth is. I cant remember the last time I've done something to better myself, or the people around me. Aside from the fact that I consider surviving another day an acomplishment, I've done nothing. If I were to die tonight, I wonder what characteristic would make me most memorable? Maybe my cynicism? Maybe my overal synthetic friendliness? I dont know. If I were to die, I'd be at peace. Dying is something most people dread. However, in times like these, I pray for it. Then again, I dont know. The way that I see it, someone who wants to die, wants to until the moment before they actually do. Then they regret ever asking for that. Which would most likely be the case for me. I have a lot of things to look forward to. But then again, why hope for things when you arent sure if you'd live through the night? Hopes are just another form of a cocktease. Hopes are wet dreams until they happen. A bullet between the eyes of every person with a fucked up life. I dont believe in hoping, I believe in doing. And I havent done much. ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1781333/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1781333/ Mon, 02 Feb 2004 06:14:35 PST has done nothing but just that. Giving me pointers ect. A lot of you who are on my friends list are a lot better than me in certain areas. So use that expertise and gimme some freakin' pointers. Anyways thats all I needed to say. If I came off as an absolute cunt, then im sorry --- pffft, actually im not. I am a cunt

Love you all --- Jaysin.

P.S. - Thanks to & for the brushes I've used, and will continue to use in the pieces to come. ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1766911/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1766911/ Fri, 30 Jan 2004 11:20:35 PST
ummmmm....I just ate breakfast....it was quite delicious....I had....fried swine.....and some chicken babies.....and.....some ears of wheat that were condensed and shaped into squares.....and........some orange juice. Yes this is the story of my pathetic life. Writing a journal about the breakfast I ate, in an attempt to please you people. THERES NO PLEASING YOU!!!! >.< No one leaves comments anyways. Your all a bunch of cigerettes! Yea...that was the best I could come up with, though hopefully if you've seen clerks ( tv series ) you'll know what im refering to when I call you a cigerette which makes it all the more insulting if you in fact have. I wont waste anymore of your time, thanks to all the artists that have commented on my page this month and have looked at my work. And thanks to all my friends who watch me ect. Love you guys ! ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1720801/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1720801/ Wed, 21 Jan 2004 20:42:53 PST
: is the new group I joined ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1709846/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1709846/ Tue, 20 Jan 2004 00:29:41 PST
2 --- Friends are all you have, never lose sight of that.

3 --- No 2 people are the same, with the exception of christians and mormons.

4 ---The next time you see someone wandering the streets looking straight into the air while he screams at god asking for him to keep the ford moter corp. from Monitoring his brain waves.. Just know that maybe he is having the most fufilling, inspirational conversation you will never have the chance to experiance. ( Terminal press )

5 --- I dont know why im writing all this, boredom was the catalyst that Fueled most of this bullshit.

6 --- If I were president, I would legalize the death penalty in public city schools for any tardy students. As for catholic schools, they'd be crucified. Mormons WOULD have their reproductive cut off, but unfortunatly we all know mormons are grown, not born.

7 --- Though Jay And Silent Bob strikes back was Kevin Smith's " sell out " movie, it was still one of his funniest.

8 --- If your still reading this, you obviously like what your hearing, which would make you eligible for some award I will at another time devulge the name of.

9 --- At this point, im just wasting space.

10 --- If any of you fuckers dont have nice things to say about my deviations, then gladly suck me off and swallow. Last thing I need is some emo kid telling me that my shit is tired.

11 --- That is all. ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1700453/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1700453/ Sun, 18 Jan 2004 11:31:12 PST
1 --- I betrayed an awesome friend and someone who I claimed I " loved " in a way I didnt think possible. That betrayal has been the cancer in my body for the past 3 weeks and im begining to recover, but once again the cure is ways away from where I stand.

2 --- My mother began to abus alcohol once again. She relapsed after a 3 year run on the sober train. Shes doing better however, I havent seen any sign of abuse since then, but then again shes hidden it very well for the past 18 years of my life, on and off. This is a touchy subject for me, but I thought I'd answer any questions that people, such as may have had.

Well thats really it, nothing special. Just the story of my life, and well though I'll get better, it'll take time. ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1601071/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1601071/ Mon, 29 Dec 2003 21:12:17 PST ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1523071/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1523071/ Thu, 11 Dec 2003 21:46:33 PST ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1513692/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1513692/ Tue, 09 Dec 2003 20:07:12 PST < --- Jefferstacie ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1500123/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1500123/ Sat, 06 Dec 2003 20:54:51 PST ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1473446/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1473446/ Sun, 30 Nov 2003 21:46:53 PST
Lets stop pretending we are all equal and all the same. We are not. Yes, we are all pink on the inside, but our exteriors could not be more different. This goes past mere physical difference. We are all different in our desires, our motivations, our insecurities, and our beliefs. When did we lose sight of the fact? We are force fed the opinion of the minority because it is believed to be the most peaceful doctrine to live by. All men are created equal.

Tell that to the homeless guy stinking of his own piss, babbling incoherently, holding a sign proding me for a dollar.

Tell that to the preist who molests young boys in the confessional booth.

Tell that to the ruthless business man who only cares about how much more money he can take to the grave with him.

Tell that to the bitch who walked into a grocery store strapped with dynamite, prepared to kill children in the name of his god.

I do not consider a single one of these fucks my equal. Do you? ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1408385/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1408385/ Sun, 16 Nov 2003 08:47:28 PST You drove your father to safety after he made such a messy mistake
And your mother's constant abuse must haunt you like a ghost on your back,
And delivering that blow to her face (must have been) precious and painful
I feel so privileged you share your heart with me
I know you are on a journey and search as you should
(You've been to hell and back)
I just pray you find what you are looking for,
and sweep the rock from the light
But know, I will always be here for you ]]> ~MalignantApathy http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1312243/ http://MalignantApathy.deviantart.com/journal/1312243/ Thu, 23 Oct 2003 03:19:39 PDT ~MalignantApathy