http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Malkar&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Malkar en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 11 Dec 2009 16:21:43 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/25299733/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/25299733/ Sat, 13 Jun 2009 22:31:08 PDT
Peace, love and sadness all.

]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/24222595/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/24222595/ Mon, 13 Apr 2009 15:07:28 PDT

The rules:

1. Post these rules
2. Each tagged person must tell 8 things about themselves
3. At the end you have to tag 8 people and post their icons in your journal
4. Then go back to their page with a comment saying you tagged them
5. No tag backs!

My 8 points:

1. I don't smoke or touch drugs. Rarely drink alcohol or any kind of soft drink. I live as clean a life as I can though I have my weaknesses. Chocolate for one.. well sugar period. I'm working at cutting that out to though

2. Apparently I look 17 when clean shaven, but if I let my facial hair grow I look really old.

3. I am a messy, oh gosh if the world only knew. x_x

4. Don't like swearing - I used to swear a lot, and sometimes do. But I've worked at cutting swear words out of my vocabulary. As some would say, swearing is the sign of a small vocabulary and weak mind.

5. I am like a big kid at times - I love games, silly ones, complex anything will do. Not just games either pretty much any kind of entertainment so long as I can be active I enjoy.

6. Rarely lie - When I was with my ex I would absolutely never lie, to her at least. No lies, or half truths. Just straight-up, unfortunately blunt truth.

7. I do not play many video games anymore - I used to be a huge game nerd, I would waste entire weekends on games. But not these days, modern games seem uninspired.

8. I love to tease people - I'll say crazy and random things just to see if I can get a rise out of people or get one of those "Huh?" looks from people.

Optional Tagging:

]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/24072065/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/24072065/ Sun, 05 Apr 2009 09:05:02 PDT
1) How old do you wish you were?
I wish I could restart my entire life... prefereably go back in time.

2) Where were you when 9/11 happened?
At school. The day came and went and I really didn't notice or really care. No one important to me was affected.

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Leave it.

4) Do you consider yourself kind?
I can be.

5) If you HAD to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Somewhere I could forget it.

6) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Toss up. I want to learn cantonese, french, gaelic, german, japanese, mandarin, polish, russian. The only one there that is a minor desire is japanese.

7) Do you know your neighbours?
Not really.

8) What do you consider a holiday?
I don't.

9) Do you follow your horoscope?
Sometimes.

10) Would you move for the person you loved?
I would have fought, killed, and died for her.

11) Are you touchy feely?
Used to be.

12) Do you believe that opposites attract?
At this time I believe love is a lie. I felt it, but how do you go from being a persons hero, one and only love to that " guy you want to forget" in less than a week!

13) Dream job?
Um... not sure yet.

14) Favorite channel(S)?
Don't watch TV.

15) Favorite place to go on weekends?
Stay home.

16) Showers or Baths?
I prefer baths, but showers aer more cost effective and less time consuming.

17) Do you paint your nails?
Gods NO!

18) Do you trust people easily?
Depends on what you mean by trust. Yes I talk to people, but I always expect them to betray me.

19) What are your phobias?
Humans and unnatural heights.

20) Do you want kids?
Yes... or rather I did.

21) Do you keep a handwritten journal?
Nope.

22) Where would you rather be right now?
Talking to my ex in person

23) Heavy or light sleeper?
um... depends.

24) Are you paranoid?
Yes.

25) Are you impatient?
Sometimes.

26) Who can you relate to?
Those who are breaking apart inside.

27) How do you feel about interracial couples?
... I am not prepared to answer this.

28) Have you been burned by love?
Once and that was enough.

29) What's your main ring tone on your cell?
No cell.

30) What were you doing after midnight last night?
checking my email and going to bed.

31) What did the last text on your mobile phone say?
Don't have one.

32) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine

33) What color shirt are you wearing?
None at the moment.

34) Why is there no question here?
Because you couldn't think of one.

35) Name three things you have on you at all times~?
Wallet. Coat... pants/shorts.

36) What color are your bed sheets?
Um... kind of a dirty cream colour.

37) How much cash do you have on you right now?
Nothing

38) What is your favorite part of the chicken?
Breast and legs... poor little chicken.

39) What's your favorite town/city?
No such place

40) I can't wait till?
till nothing, to disappear.

41) Who got you to join myspace?
I don't have myspace.

42) What did you have for dinner last night?
Steak, potatoes and... califlower, milk, and orange juice.

43) How tall are you barefoot?
No clue.

44) Have you ever smoked heroin?
Nope.

45) Do you own a gun?
No.

46) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Milk or juice.

47) What is your favourite weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Honesty.

48) Do you have A.D.D.?
Maybe.

49) What time did you wake up today?
8:07 AM

50) Current worry?
What comes after death, life anew or oblivion?

51) Current hate?
My ex-girl friend, for taking all of my light and leaving me in dark.

52) Favorite place to be?
Home

53) Where would U like to travel?
China, India, Egypt, England, Germany, Ireland, Japan, Poland, Russia, Scotland,

54) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
... probably dead or homeless.

55) What songs do you sing in the shower?
None, usually.

56) What was the last thing that made you laugh?
Comments posted by various people on DA.

57) Worst injury you've ever had?
Golf club to the head.

58) Does someone have a crush on you?
Possibly.

59) What's your favorite candy?... ]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/23977325/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/23977325/ Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:53:22 PDT What is death?

What is the purpose for this game of ours?

I am unsure, but I believe it is worth our while to spread a little light with kind and cheerful words and actions.

Yeah, this is more or less just a random entry, because I can.

]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/23837852/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/23837852/ Sun, 22 Mar 2009 18:33:43 PDT
To every guy that said, "You're beautiful"

To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her

To every guy that gives her flowers and a card when she is sick or down.

To every guy who has given her flowers just because thats how he rolls

To every guy that said he would die for her.

To every guy that really would.

To every guy that did what she wanted to die for

To every guy that cried in front of her...

To every guy that she cried in front of...

To every guy that holds hands with her.

To every guy that kisses her with meaning..

To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.

To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.

To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.

To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.

To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to
see her for ten minutes

To every guy that would give his seat up...

To every guy that just wants to cuddle.

To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.

To every guy who told his secrets to her.

To every guy that showed how much he cared through every word and every breath.

To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.

To every guy that believed in her dreams.

To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them

To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

To every guy that walked her to her car and opened the door

To every guy that gave his heart.

To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.


Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore...
And because of this, there are not many left out there...

I guarantee 90% of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image

If you are a nice guy re-post this with: "nice guys STILL finish last "

If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way
re-post this with: "To Every Guy"

Stolen from Icy-Flame who stole it from someone else. ^^

]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/23836957/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/23836957/ Sun, 22 Mar 2009 17:42:43 PDT
I'm finding putting anything together is like pulling teeth. I am not even remotely happy with the documents I've put up thus far, they feel... just bad.

But I made the commitment to myself a long time ago that I would try my hand at either novel writing or game design. Now I have a world I wish others to see and understand which makes a game design concept the best choice as I wouldn't have to explore every detail of a persons life, but I would have to shape nations, cultures, all types of things... not that I'm not interested in doing that, I am but I am also interested in doing telling specific stories as well... which to do first, that is the question.

]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/23793085/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/23793085/ Fri, 20 Mar 2009 08:23:25 PDT
He is small little fellow, no bigger than a large beetle. Then again when he is staring you in the eye everyone looks gigantic. He has a rather unique way at looking at things too, then again I am not sure how he can see anything. I am certain I saw eyes behind the silly coke bottle glasses he wears, but that could just be a reflection.

This curious little fellow was covered in spines and had a funny way of introducing himself. You see he pride open an eye and stared at me a good while. Making sure I saw him, and then backed away...

His has spines and fur coloured a grey black colour. He had... jeeze can't remember if it was 2 or 4 arms... on each hand he had hundreds of little needle like fingers that he uses to grasp. His face is this long snout with a mouth full of hundreds of little razor teeth. When asked what he was he told me he was a fae of the heart. Specifically one of pain, a creature born of heart break and exists to inflict upon his parent pain. It is this pain that he gives that he feasts on in which to grow. After telling me this he sat there quietly. So I asked him what was it he was waiting for and he gave me a silent look and said "I need a name."

So I took sometime, and thought about his appearance and settled on Scathitch. Because well for those who see him, he many means to scratch and injure. But normally he prefers to simply you itch. It is far more annoying you see.

Now I am sitting at the kitchen table, him perched on my shoulder leering at me from time to time, commanding me to finish his picture, but I am such a horrible drawer that it is taking a while, and given that he is an impatient creature with many needle digits he is less than inclined to let me finish describing him.

Ah! he has four arms... and is in a hurry to return to my heart to feed some. He promises only a little and that he will be back out again soon. But I have had such trouble with it lately that having him in there is less than desirable...

He is telling me that that was him being born. That it takes a great deal of pain all at once and the right mixture of emotions to give life to one such as him... and that I am going to have him as company and a "friend" for good long time so the sooner I get used to him rooting around inside me the better off I am going to be.

Oh yes, how could I forget his gigantic ears, seriously they are almost as big as his head!

Anyway, this is somewhat related to my breakup with my long time and favourite girl in all the universe... at least she used to be, not sure how I feel about her now... Scathitch is telling me that he'll find some juicy memories to drag up... just for me.

Vicious little toad.

]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/23696526/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/23696526/ Sat, 14 Mar 2009 15:13:04 PDT

December 25th, it is a magical day for many of us. And for me it and April 15th will be the days that will haunt me till the end of my days.

December 25th was the day I answered the last message from some one very, very, very important to me. So important that it has damn-near destroyed me, and it still might. April 15th is this persons birthday...

The backstory is this, this person was given the opportunity to go to a foreign country to study. They asked me for my opinion, I told them to do what was important to them, if that ment leaving for a distant land then do so. I cautioned them however that to do leaving would mean they would never return. They did what they wanted to do with my full support.

That was before the end of September. It is now March 14th.. they stopped talking to me in December. Coming 3 months ago. I have this talent, when it comes to my own misery, I have the ability to see the future, I forsaw this event. And I let them go anyway... now it has happened and I feel a great emptiness in my soul, this emptiness is filling up with anguish and hatred. And all the while I try to convince myself she will come home, that she will come back into my life and all will be well again.

I know, have known for a since the last message it is over between us. She never told me it was over, but some how I knew it. Such a terrible gift, to be able to predict the future, but only as it relates to your own pain.

I accept that she has ripped out my soul and left me, now comes the task of seeing if I can live without a soul.

Jessica, should you ever seek me out again I hope you find this. Not out of spite but to remind that it only takes but a single action to destroy something so precious as a life. From here on, I forge my own way, and hope against malice that you come back to me.

]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/20993307/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/20993307/ Tue, 14 Oct 2008 20:39:41 PDT
Any way to the meat of the subject. Life has gotten interesting, because of my horrible time management I'm locked in a dead lock. I'm fighting to keep up with my classes, and this consumes all of my time, thus leaving me drained and tired and unable to get ahead, thus landing me back at step one. I hope I can get caught up soon so I might start... I don't know, my mind has been full of literary ideas again, it has been a really long time since I've felt my demons stir, seems they are screaming for release again that being the case I'm trying to get caught up so I can start wasting my time with trying to write fiction. Emphasis on waste, what good is the ambition of being a writer and being unable to make your dreams come alive? That being the case I.... have no idea where this is going. Story short I'm burried under work and hoping to get out from under it so I can bury myself with slightly better work... again... Ahhhh the irony!

Till later my little ducklings

]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/20898016/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/20898016/ Wed, 08 Oct 2008 21:35:58 PDT
I have long had issues with remaining active. At this time I would like to apologize to all of my wayward friends, whether they hear my silent howl or not. To those still here I say: Take every moment to remind those friends you have here how dear they are to you, for in a matter of a week they could be gone forever. I live still but not as I was.

PS: To the one who cut me to the soul, though I'm certain you are gone and even if you are not, you don't care, I forgive you your failings, forgive my own and apologize on both our behalfs for our mutual faults.

]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/10049210/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/10049210/ Tue, 12 Sep 2006 11:22:32 PDT ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/6168264/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/6168264/ Mon, 08 Aug 2005 11:48:04 PDT ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/5465285/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/5465285/ Thu, 26 May 2005 08:21:50 PDT ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/5245130/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/5245130/ Mon, 02 May 2005 08:29:35 PDT ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/5024026/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/5024026/ Thu, 07 Apr 2005 09:49:14 PDT
Better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all... what a farce. Better to be heartless than to suffer the loss of love.

The scares upon a wounded heart never heal they just deepen

What did the five fingers say to the face: Slap!

Just feeling like shit, pardon my language. I've come to the conclusion that seeking out a relationship in any form is not worth it. All it does is cause deeper scaring and makes you feel less and less valuable. So from here on out no more flirting no more thoughts of relationship. I'm tired of looking and finding only loneliness. So ladies this heart is out of the pool. I'm just sorry it took me this long to figure it out... shit like 6 years wasted on learning nothing but that the cosmos does have a sense of humour and I'm one of the jokes. Oh well no more feeling sorry for myself. ]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/4912311/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/4912311/ Fri, 25 Mar 2005 19:25:47 PST ]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/4836557/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/4836557/ Thu, 17 Mar 2005 11:55:15 PST ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/4798561/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/4798561/ Sun, 13 Mar 2005 00:34:37 PST Mood: Really damn tired and uncertain
Listening to: Some random Gundam Seed soundtracks

Seems like my day... evening whatever for slap-in-the-face reminders... Reminded that I have no girl friend... never have had... reminded of the loss of friends... and my current... situation... overall feeling pretty shitty both about my life about my self and about my future. Oh well if all the bad things in the world piled up on me it wouldn't be so bad right? I would be serving a purpose, a really lousy and painful one but at least everyone else would be benefiting right? I don't know... if that was the case I'm not sure whether I would say piss on everybody else I'm only here for me or if I would carry the burden... Either way, I have to work hard and beat this crap, that is if I want to go somewhere and be somebody! ]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/4796662/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/4796662/ Sat, 12 Mar 2005 19:27:53 PST Listening to: Sentenced - Killing Me, Killing You

I should pick a section of my writings and focus on that... get something converted from thought to writing... and maybe get a recent picture taken of me... maybe post it... after all I'm not getting any younger... feel dead all ready... or at least ready to die... shouldn't think such things though. Death comes quickly to all even those who do not wish to slip the mortal coil. Life is the best defence in favour and opposition to suicide, not that I even contemplate it. I like all will pass on soon enough no need to hurry it up.

Clubs: ]]> ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/4662449/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/4662449/ Thu, 24 Feb 2005 12:59:12 PST ~Malkar http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/4656929/ http://Malkar.deviantart.com/journal/4656929/ Wed, 23 Feb 2005 19:13:36 PST ~Malkar