http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:MasterofRPGs&section=today deviantART RSS for by:MasterofRPGs en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 00:57:15 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/25744846/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/25744846/ Sat, 04 Jul 2009 23:46:26 PDT
this is my most uneventful summer yet, which makes sense, since i've no classes this summer.

brooke's already leaving. =/ sad face. but we both have webcams now, so it shouldn't be too hard to communicate/ have fun. we've made oodles of funny videos to keep us entertained until we next meet, a year from now. oh well, it's been nice having her, even if it couldn't be for the whole summer.

tomorrow we're going to knott's for bianca's birthday, which should be fun. we cycled through like 6 alternates for azariah (counting him, i think). first he had no money, then kevin had no money, then yuanjian got sick, then brian didn't want to (like he would), then tim had plans, then finally tien was convinced (i had asked her right after yuanjian, but she feared we wouldn't have fun with her [who know's why?]).

mmmmm i'd be more excited except that i can't stop thinking about brooke's leaving so soon, and i know bianca will replace her starting tomorrow and that we'll have tons of fun, but i still get uneasy around the time when she leaves (and usually for long after it).

it doesn't help that i had a dream about john last night. =/ i've had, what? two of those, counting last night? they leave me with the overwhelming feeling that i've lost something irreplaceable, and i guess i have. i just wake up and look at my life and notice how empty and meaningless it is...

last time i dreamed about him the night before christmas eve, and i just spent the whole day crying. well i couldn't do that today, because it's summer and i'm not nearly as depressed this time of year, but i felt as though i should be doing something... better than i was. but i have no idea what that is. i thought for a second i was supposed to break off my friendship with brian, saying some crazy gibberish (all i really say anyway) about how i was betraying the memory, the IDEA (because that's all he is, i don't know what's wrong with me) of my hero just in associating with him... but i decided against it. i guess i just keep hoping brian will come out of this phase like i did, forgetting that we're different people with different experiences, and that my perpetual encouragement of his behavior ever delays any possible transformation on his part. i love who he could be, not who he is. i don't know what to do about him. give him more time, i suppose. but he still stands for everything i hate in the world, and if i dropped curtis for that our sophomore year, why can't i drop him at the start of his junior year? i guess because he's younger i expect less from his moral compass, forgetting the standards i required when i myself was his age.

i don't know what to do about any of that, so i guess inaction is the best course of action here. i have a perfect excuse anyway: i'm leaving for college, we won't be seeing much more of each other, and maybe by next summer he'll be a functioning, empathetic human being who doesn't offend me in his every word.

i don't know why i have so much more faith in him than i ever did in curtis, but even now i'm certain there is some relentless boundary that will keep him from ever becoming that self-centered and uncaring. i've seen him be passionate about many things, and maybe passion itself is the boundary. i don't remember curtis caring about anything... also i think brian's manipulative enough to create a detailed, uncaring facade and thereby protect him from any close relationships where he might get hurt, in which case he would just be a fragile, vulnerable child i would have sympathy for, which i am sure was never the case with curtis. alright i just replenished my faith in brian, but it's still disconcerting to me that i must, on a daily basis, convince myself that i shouldn't hate him. i already know that i DON'T, but i usually believe that i should.

i'll stop talking about this. no one cares anyway. (i hope i'm right about brian, he's one of the few friends i have left)

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/24894491/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/24894491/ Fri, 22 May 2009 17:16:56 PDT
Anyway, that has nothing to do with what i'm going to talk about.

I had another totally cool super awesome disturbing dream that I actually

KINDA CAN'T REMEMBER!!!

=0

Unheard of.

So this will be rather short (ha)


So it started off that my family and I were in some hotel on vacation and there was a travel-channel-esque video (actual VHS tape) i put into the tv in my room to watch, and it was TOTALLY disturbing.

Not that i can remember anything on it, but it was. It was some immoral, Brave New World shit that made me want to puke. And so i leave the room and remember that the band is going on some trip to Illinois, so I ask my mom if i can have 100 bucks for the trip, but she says no, and I complain that i won't be able to eat, so she tells me to make some sacked lunches. I leave furious.

I walk into the bathroom, which is like 4'x4' and purely a bath/shower/sink/incline/thing but my clothes are still there on the floor like they always are, and i pick them up when my nonexistent little sister turns on the faucet, wetting my clothes. Again infuriated, I tell her she wet my clothes and she just laughs, and I tell her,

"This is one of those times when you're laughing, and I'm not, and you think that deep down inside I'm laughing too, and I don't really hate you for it, but it's not, and if you keep laughing, I'm going to beat the shit out of you." (I am so fucking angry at ALL (even nonexistent, apparently) family members in ALL of my dreams... like, frighteningly angry.)

And she keeps laughing so i grab her, and the water's still running, making things slippery, and she's screaming and kicking and rather successfully trying to break free when i realize that at the bottom of the incline are all the shower products, including razors that she's about to cut herself on, and I think so myself

"Oh my god, it's another dream where I accidentally kill a child." (yes, i think in my dreams, and yes I do know when i'm dreaming, but NO i don't have dreams like that.... i have dreams where children die and OTHER people accidentally kill them)

So i leave, and in the adjacent room benji is watching on TV the exact same disturbing tourist video i was watching, so i leave hastily and run into Kyle, who lives in an adjacent apartment (i don't know) and ask if after packing my things i can go over to his place so i can "just get away, to anywhere" and he says "yeah sure just let me get a few things together" and of course

never comes back

So then the scenery gradually changes from a hokey Las-Vegas-seeming motel to a rather regal, beige, columned home, but i'm still freaking out, so i walk into this rich equivalent of my mom's office, and run into Rick Payan (other people gradually enter the scene, so I guess it's a party of some sort?) and tell him I need to get away, he tells me it's all going to be ok and pulls down a Harry Potter (no kidding) book from my mom's shelf and begins reading it to calm me down. (no, i don't read harry potter) And as he's reading, some boy and girl on the other side of the wall are finishing his sentences, as if they've memorized the book, and the boy fumbles, a mother scolds, and the girl correctly finishes, receiving praise from the mother. I think at this point (who KNOWS why) "Oh my god, it's me and Benji from the past..." >.>

And gradually the scene changes again to that of a bazaar and we are in a tent. Some bearded, alien-like, possibly Star Wars creature approaches, carrying the bags of his teacher. Rick asks the wise-looking probably wizard why he kept his most promising student at the status of servant. The man replies that he "has his reasons" and leaves. The servant then responds that the man steals his ideas for his own and uses the labor as an added bonus. (it is not explained how he gets away with this)

Soon the environment changes to "the dream I've had so many times before!" (Though i really don't even remember dreaming this) There is a green field on what seems to be a plateau. Behind me is another plateau, in front of this one is another (It seems to me there are mountains/hills like this in real life, but i don't know the word for this type of mountain/hill/thing) Anyway, it somehow becomes apparent to me (probably because I'd "dreamt it so many times before") that i was in a dystopia similar to 1984, in which people blindly and ravenously followed the government, and I was witnessing the privatization of the last national park for destruction and corporate use. It was a landmark event naturally, with camera crews on all sides and cheering onlookers behind them. I quickly realized, however, that as there were no ropes holding the viewers back, and as they were all of them savage, they cameramen would be trampled and killed. I was suddenly mort... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/23802401/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/23802401/ Fri, 20 Mar 2009 18:51:56 PDT

i don't know why i'm forever nostalgic.

i wish i weren't.


=/

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/23390243/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/23390243/ Tue, 24 Feb 2009 21:13:56 PST
Hmmmm, deca is over. a big sad face for that. I'll miss it terrrrrribly next year around this time. I'll probably cry every year on the first weekend of February for the rest of my life. haha, maybe not, but, this stuff really gets to me. I'm glad I'll be leaving soon, but I'm going to miss deca and my section. (and that's REALLY it, haha) Not even band as a whole, JUST my section. God I love them.

I'm in track now (again). Azariah quit. =/ But OH WELL, I can DO IT WITHOUT HIM. hahah, I'm independent! Riiiight? Mmm probably not.


The weeks seem painfully slow and the weekends dishearteningly fleeting, but OH WELL, what am I going to do about that? Make time speed up and then slow down?

Mmmm I started writing/ drawing The Adventures of Nihilism Lass and Cartoon Candy Chap. I'm such a terrible writer. And artist in the comic book genre. =/ OH WELL, the book must be written. IT MUST. I'll pull a Steinbeck and pour my whole heart, soul, and universe into that box, and still it will not be full. *explodes*

Aaaaaaaaand that's pretty much it. Blahbidy blahbidy blah.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/22408505/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/22408505/ Mon, 05 Jan 2009 06:16:19 PST i wasn't going to type it up, but i told it on aim and felt i should copy pasta it over at least.

RPGgal: it was like, a deca meeting in my living room for once
RPGgal: but you were there and hannah was there and brian was there
RPGgal: and i think that girl jennifer
RPGgal: small meeting
RPGgal: and i was talking about something for a really really long time
RPGgal: and i have no idea what iw as saying
RPGgal: but out of the corner of my eye, i could see laying on the carpet john
RPGgal: and i thought i was going crazy
RPGgal: so i was like "no, just keep talking and ignore the hallucination"
RPGgal: and so i was playing it cool like i'm not seeing things
RPGgal: and finally when i finish i look down and he's definitely there, giggling
RPGgal: so i go out on a limb and address him, since i'm almost sure he's in the room
RPGgal: and i say "john, have you been there the whole time???"
RPGgal: and he just laughs and says yeah
RPGgal: then the meeting starts to disperse
RPGgal: and he's the last one to leave and i close the door on him
RPGgal: brush my teeth etc
RPGgal: 'cuz it's night
RPGgal: and then like fifteen minutes later, i get this strange impulse to look out the window
RPGgal: and where the door was was a window with blinds
RPGgal: and i move them
RPGgal: and john's right there
RPGgal: only, it's not really him
RPGgal: it's some sad, grotesque alien creature bearing resemblance to him
RPGgal: but i know it's him
RPGgal: and i start to scream really loudly in sheer terror
RPGgal: but then i'm like "what am i doing? this is john, the poor thing, something's wrong and i'm here screaming"
RPGgal: so i turn back to him and apologize, laughing nervously and saying he scared me
RPGgal: and i motion to the door that he can come in
RPGgal: and when i go over and open the door sure enough he's there
RPGgal: and he has his head hung despondently at the side
RPGgal: looking like he's about to cry
RPGgal: and he looks horrible, so skinny his arms are about as thick as cardboard toilet paper tubing
RPGgal: and i feel so much sympathy i give him a hug and say "it'll be alright, John, it'll be alright"
RPGgal: only then his skin starts turning brown (it was grey) and flaking off in some parts, melting onto my own in others
RPGgal: and so horrified i shove him off of me and run
RPGgal: and i run to the hall and pick up a gun
RPGgal: and without him once threatening to hurt me i kill him
RPGgal:

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/21972554/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/21972554/ Sat, 13 Dec 2008 23:32:42 PST i had a very emotional good-bye with my section, and by that i mean i was bawling my eyes out and they didn't seem even slightly disconcerted. in fact, i would have cried more, but i held it back when i realized my audience and their lack of similar emotion. T.T Jack cried, and they made fun of him for it. Tim cried, but he's not an alto, therefore it was expected. In fact, i went up and hugged everyone, and Willy said "Why do you want to hug me? I already told you: I DON'T LIKE YOU" but i made him give me a hug anyway. Then, after the hugs, as is characteristic of them, they crowded around me in a stifling semi-circle, at least with sympathetic eyes, and Willy remarks, "You know what i just realized? She never taught us anything!" to which they all laughed, but I cried in my sobbing defense, "I *sniff* taught you *sniff* the alternate fingering to F#" and Kenneth, rising to the occasion, shouted "HEY! She taught me Bb!" yay Kenneth.

oh, and earlier, when i was giving out hugs, i had just hugged someone when another someone came up from behind me me and gave me a giant, almost strangling hug, similar to that which Wilson gave me at our last practice, but i couldn't tell who it was and was so distracted in figuring it out that i did not in ample time reply to the "I love you, section leader" I was so kindly met with. When i did realize it to be Kenneth, whom i love VERY VERY verrrrry much, but who, i always thought, must truly dislike me, too much time had passed for the felt love to be conveyed in a natural manner, and replying with "OK" would be insufficient and rude, so i said nothing. KENNETH tells me he loves me for once in a lifetime, and i say NOTHING. Jesus.

And, of course, Raymond doesn't even understand why we're all crying and saying goodbye because he cannot comprehend that we will be two separate bands from that points forward. Entirely characteristic of Raymond, god I love him. And in saying good-bye to Tim, we say a few of our beloved jokes, many of which involve simply his name, and he says our other joke and relates it to the Tim jokes, saying "You thought I was-- WHAT? John?! Ahahah!"

John. You can imagine what that did to me. hahaha. (no you can't, i'm lying to myself) So i returned to the bus with renewed tears.


And that was that.

So the new stuff.

I went to Winter Ball!!!! It was NOT fun, but oh well >.> At least i can say i went and had a date.

Oh Jesus, did my last journal leave off with me thinking of who I would ask?? Well. Don't think by that last statement i made a decision relevant to the outcome. I finally decided to ask Brian (i know!!! hahaah, how unexpected... kidna) when, two days later, just about when i was going to ask, he reveals that someone likes him and that he likes her back and that a relationship will soon result. ha. ha. hahahaha. so, naturally, i didn't bother to ask and asked instead Yuanjian.

They're together now.


Unfortunately, since then, my feelings have only grown and i would now go so far as to say i LIKE Brian, perhaps even, at times, VERY MUCH T.T It's not very characteristic of myself to make moves anyway, but now i CAN'T. Which means my hope is entirely diminished. T.T

HOWEVER! Something UNPRECEDENTED happened yesterday!!!!

Brian.... of his own volition, INVITED ME OVER!!!!

It's momentous.

BECAUSEEEEE, he has before REFUSED to let me inside, despite pleas, despite favors, despite the alternative of FORCING ME TO WALK HOME ALONE A DOUBLY LONG JOURNEY THAN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN HAD I NOT WALKED HIM HOME. You can imagine my surprise the first time he revealed i would not be permitted inside his residence after walking him.

"So, after this, you're just going to, like, walk back to the school?"

"After what? =0"

"When we get to my house, you're just going to turn around and walk back?" <-- Which i, OF COURSE, thought was just his way of pointing out how ludicrous the idea was and was a clever way of inviting me inside without being too forward

"hahah, well can't i come inside?? haha" <-- which was, OF COURSE, a negative statement made to simply point out the obvious possibility of what was negated

"Nnnnooo..."

".....what? o.o"

"You can't come inside my house..."

hahahaha. Funny to look back on, seriously disappointing at the moment. Well, yesterday morning i went up to Brian with the intention of ASKING IF I COULD... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/21127653/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/21127653/ Thu, 23 Oct 2008 15:21:21 PDT


looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove <3<3<3<3 x infinity

The CCC is just so amazing. He reminds me of Brooke. I love him to bits and wish he REALLY WERE The CCC, and I Nihilism Lass.

That'd be amazing.

Yayt Leitul Laisar had reyuhlahzed sumting, ven sheh hayd spohkeh teByawnkuh.

Deh Brookie hayd bean heyr Ceh Ceh Ceh aulllllllll elunggggggg.

I love narrating deh lyfeh de Laisar.


In other news, I think i'm going to go to Winterball this year, so i have to decide who to ask ('cuz God knows no one's going to ask me). I'm pretty sure if I asked Yuanjian he'd say yes (both because he might want to and because he'd feel obliged) and i shooouuuld since it's both of our senior years................

but i really want to go with Brian. T.T which is really really stupid because he just becomes more and more of an asshole every day. I guess because he's becoming more comfortable with me and revealing his true self, and also because i think it's quite obvious to him I'm pathetic and will stay his friend no matter how much he treats me like shit. (history has proven this to be true!!! )


but he's a little cutie-pie. in a non-aesthetically pleasing way. i can't explain it. i guess i don't need to, no one cares anyway. Oh, another reason i shouldn't ask Brian is because he will PROBABLY say no. he's like that. =/ oh well, it's not like i ever hold back on an opportunity to make an ass of myself.

as for life in general, i'd say it's about a 3 out of 10, but at least it's not negative. or zero. my section really helps, which is kinda weird because they're also usually a big part of making my life negative out of ten. but overall it's better than last year

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/20605450/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/20605450/ Sun, 21 Sep 2008 16:11:20 PDT

5th period. sectionals. i had them march and play the march (omg seriously???) and then they failed, so i had them mark time and play the march and

Cody

failed

so

hard.


hahahhaha it was soooo hilarious, but it was all visual humor so i have no way of making you guys find it funny. but it was really great. he was marking time at like, level three, and then he was purposefully adding another move to the roll off, while holding his neck piece (since his screw came off), then, when that "stopped being funny" (iiii was still laughing my ass off), he went up to kent while playing and got like RIGHT next to him, and immediately kent stopped playing and started gangstering (which really comes naturally to kent) and he was like "ey, what the fuck, fag? why you lookin at me, huh? gay ass? what the fuck? get away from me! stop! fuck!" hahahahahahah kent is just so funny when he's angry. and then when we finished marching he kept marching, like, around the band room practically. hilarious.

Football game.

saxophones became celebrities. first of all, a year ago, we had one football game in which Willy thrust completely not in tempo, completely emotionlessly, faster than what seemed physically possible. vivian and i laughed for about ten minutes (literally, they thought we were crazy around the ninth minute) and everyone else laughed for about five, which is really long if you think about it. and that inspired us to do this rather sexual thrust/ ass-slap dance that i did not take part in, but was incredibly fun to watch. so we told the freshmen about it repeatedly since it was one of our fondest memories from last year, so they implored willy to show them his stuff. once he did, we all got all hyper and i kept counting off "one, two, one, two" as if we were going to do the other aforementioned dance. kenneth suggested i postpone it until after hte performance when we have more energy. RIGHT before the performance (like seriously, already in teh warmup circle and everything) they start going CRAZY and humping eachother all over the place (i really can't explain teh sudden burst of energy) and when we got back to the stands, we created a new dance for the cadence. it began with the willy "aiyayayaya" crazy movement dance we do when we're hyper, moved on to the ass-slap, then the out-of-time thrusts, then a mix of clarinet spinning with the willy dance and finished/ began again with the willy dance. apparently, the people behind us loved it so much, they all came really near us and started freak dancing themselves, which we didn't find out until we spun around and saw them. then that large crowd attracted people even from in front of us (such as symbol players) and we made the drumline do that candence about five times in a row, screaming "ONE MORE TIME!!!" and the top of our lungs. THEN, someone (vince haha) started playing this new hip song i had never heard because i am neitehr new nor hip on his bari sax, and apparently everyone knew it, so they started singing along, and then we did our freka dance to that song, which usually would have been suppressed immediately by massaro but every time i looked at him he was smiling somewhat disapprovingly, but he didn't stop us. sooooooo godamn fun.

then we got to the bandoom adn eveyrone was like "yay saxophones" and i was like "yay" HOORAY. hashahahhahah spelling errors.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/20229143/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/20229143/ Sat, 30 Aug 2008 02:16:49 PDT
LONG JOURNAL ALTERT! LONG JOURNAL ALERT!

i am going to put every godanm memory i have in here. this is going to be a SHORT STORY. A PLAY EVEN. that will eliminate the "and i was like"s.

Morning. I wake up at 7:20 with a missed call on my cell phone: Hannah.

Elisa: You called?
Hannah: Oh yeah i was just wondering if you got my text.
Elisa: No, I did not. What did it say?
Hannah: um, section leaders need to be there by 7:45 today.
Elisa: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, god DAMN it, i was going to show up late today. I was going to take a shower. nooouuuhhhhhh. Alright well thanks for telling me. Bye.

So I walk around and contemplate my next action. Should I eat? What is there to eat? Can I shower? That usually takes me an hour and a half, but maybe, just maybe if i don't wash my hair...

So I wake up Benji.

Elisa: Benji get up, I need you to give me a ride to bandcamp. You have to wake up right now and get dressed and find your keys. Section leaders have to be there early today and I can't have you looking for your keys last minute. OK? BENJI! GET UP.
Benji: OK.

So I find my clothes and it's 7:30, so I attempt the impossible: Elisabeth Perez taking a ten minute shower. So I went in there and tried to not get my hair wet and finished in record time, fifteen minutes. Of course i was already supposed to be at the school by this time.

Do I brush my teeth and wash my retainers? Experience has shown that for some reason takes 5-7 minutes. I don't need to play my instrument today, or shouldn't have to. I will quickly brush my teeth and not my retainers.

DAMN this is taking long, maybe I should hurry up.... maybe.

So I go into Benji's room, he's still asleep. It takes him two minutes to wake up, we will be approximately 7 minutes late.

I arrive and Mrs. Evanilla looks angrily at the clock, indicating that I am more than ten minutes late (stupid fast clock). She speaks to us about section leader stuff. Now I may skip a large part of the day.

First order of business: playing!

Elisa: I DON'T HAVE MY RETAINERSLASDJFLASDJF!
Band: *continues like Nature indifferent to the struggled of man*

THE END OF BANDCAMP!

While walking back to the bandroom to put away our instruments before our activity, I inquire of Cody, "What did YOU bring today?"

Cody: Capri Sun
Elisa: Oh really? Juice gives me phlegm.
Cody: Who gets phlegm anymore?

hahahahhahaha

My section and I exit to play a mysterious game that I, as a leadership member, already know and loathe. While waiting, we get on the subject of Cody's shirt.

Kent: I don't get it, why is it so gay? What does it mean?
Kenneth: I know, why is it that Gidley makes so many shirts now?
Cody: Now that they changed the dress code they made a lot of shirts.
Kent: Wtf, everything turned all gay after we left.
Elisa: It's because Kent made it gay.
Kent: I KNOWWWW!!!! oh wait, wtf? (I don't understand his initial enthusiams either, haha)
*talk about new dress code*
Kenneth: Cody, stop being a bitch!
Cody: YOU stop being a bitch!
Elisa: Cody, stop being a bitch!
Kenneth: EVERYONE's a bitch. Everyone's my bitch.
Jason: Band attend hut!

I take the organization as an opportunity to call Benji to wake him up to heat up and bring the chicken. (I had actually been letting it ring the entire above conversation, but now he picks up).

Benji: Hello?
Elisa: Benji wake up, you have to heat up the chicken.
Benji: How the FUCK am i supposed to do that?
Elisa: How would I know? The microwave?
Benji: That's BULLSHIT! I am SO GODAMN TIRED!
Elisa: Well don't go back to bed, you have to bring the chicken by 11:30
Benji: Alright I won't. I'm just so tired.

We play one final game, a scavenger hunt, I am blindfolded and died to an annoying freshman named Mario. We are to find ten members of leadership, each giving us a clue to the next.

AKA, the worst planned game in history. They had us run back and forth all across campus. From the stadium to the history department and back TWICE. THEN, our last checkpoint gave us a clue to the dug-out, when our person was really at the storage room. So tens of groups were around the dug-out crying "STEVENNNN" when really Shireen was supposed to be there (but she wasn't either!!!! great). Worst of all, my partner made us run even when we didn't understand where the clue was telling us to go, AIMLESSLY. And he didn't know what the officers looked like, so i would have to describe them to him so we could find them, but stupid asshole wouldn't listen to me at all. lskfjalsdjf... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/20191728/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/20191728/ Wed, 27 Aug 2008 20:14:02 PDT
ok so i think it begins here, but i'm not sure. i'm at my house and it's late at night and no one's home, and i think over aim i invited yuanjian over, thinking he'll say no because it's so late, but instead he comes over anyway, and i'm like "wtf cool" hahah and so he comes and then we're in my room pointing at a piece of paper (that's the visual, can't remember what we're doing hahah), possibly doing the summer assignment? har har. and so one of us suggests, "hey you want to see this video on youtube?" and the other says sure so we're walking to benji's room when the camera (all my dreams are filmed cinemas hahah) blacks out and i wake up in bed! hahaha, and i'm liek "wtf what happened to my night? yuanjian was here? why can't i remember anything? did he go home?" and then i get a call from Ben (that's right, you) saying "oh congratulations (or something)" and i'm like "dude, this is SO weird, i can't remember ANYTHING that happened last night. like, time just skipped that part, i don't feel like anything happened" and he was like "really? you want me to tell you what happened? you called me afterwards and told me all about it, i can't believe you don't remember" and i'm like "i called you? don't remember that. what happened?" and he proceeds to vividly describe my evening and how yuanjian decided he didn't have to go home and could just spend the night AND, detail by detail, how we came to have sex T.T and i'm just like "I HAD SEX WITH YUANJIAN?" and he was like "yeah, sucks that you don't remember" and i was sooooo wtfed. hahahaha, i couldn't believe it was possible to forget that, but as he was describing it to me, the visual memory was coming back to me, so by the time he was finished i could see it all before me, and it made sense. and then i seemed to remember my mom walking by the room to go get something, maybe use the bathroom, and me thinking, "omg, i hope she doesn't notice there are two of us here" and of course i see her just give a cursory glance and proceed, but she then comes back and peers keenly at us and sees that there are two (i don't remember her calling us out, but i somehow knew she knew). so later that morning she was totally fine with it and talked to me about safe sex etc. and i was like cool hahaha.
(end of part one)

i then walk into my lounge (which doesn't exist in real life, well, not the one in the dream anyway) and bianca was on my couch eating breakfast (i believe of pizza) with benji, my mom, and i think luis too. and i was like "BIANCA!!! when did you get here??" and she was like "haha what are you talking about i've been here this whole time?" and i'm like "what whole time?" "i came last night" "YOU DID NOT!" "yes i d-d-di-id" (she stutters) and so i can tell she's lying, but i don't want to call her out since she's my friend and all, so i leave it at, "ok, well then i'm pretty sure you came afterwards" (that makes no sense, but it did in the dream) and so i realized "hey, do you have to go home today?" and she was liek "y-yesssss, i have b-b-bandc-camp!" and i was like "that's right. OH MY GOD!!! I HAVE BANDCAMP THIS MORNING!!!!" and i was so saddened i almost cried. it wasn't fair. i thought it was the weekend. i didnt' want to have to drive bianca back to hacienda then go to bandcamp for the next nine hours. and i was so unsettled by this that i woke up! (for reals) and said to myself "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK that made no godamn sense. there is no way i had sex with yuanjian and didn't remember and bianca did not come over, but yes i do have bandcamp today"
(end of part two)

so then i went back to bed and i won't bore you with the rest, because the first two were the most interesting parts to me. the rest was filled with me in a shopping complex waiting for someone or something, then going to a discount store and buying cheap shoes for me and brooke (matching hahah) and it seems at least some part of it was me hiding from someone. but yeah. cool stuff. OH wtf, i was at a WATERPARK!!! oh wait no that was last night. ooooooooooooook that makes a little more sense. hahaha


but while i'm at it, i want to say that the night before that (three nights ago) i had this dream3
Outline:

at aunt's house on big screen playing videogames on azariah's ps2, multiplayer game, we all suck and die repeatedly.

somehow i'm now in the basics block behind raymond. we move and he stays at a halt, not paying attention. i am holding our 1 year old son (I KNOW, RIGHT? hahahahahhaha) and i have to push raymond to move, but he won't, so he falls on top of me (and the baby is in his arms now, somehow) and i'm like, raymond, pay attention. and later i bring him the child as he's sitting against a wall, dazed, and i'... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/20048202/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/20048202/ Tue, 19 Aug 2008 19:27:53 PDT ) it's GREAT. he got

ONE HUNDRED PUSHUPS TODAY.

no, that is NOT an exaggeration. and yes, i did administer ALL of those to my newfound friend. he did 75 today and will complete the remaining 25 tomorrow. HE THREW ROCKS AT ME!!!


.....very small, harmless rocks. but i told him if he did it again he'd get ten pushups. and he did it. again. and again. SIX TIMES. i can't go back on my word. THEN, with his cooky insanity, he could not stand still at attention. he was always like twitching or dancing or something. so he kept getting pushups for that. i feel bad for the kid, but I SO CALLED WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.

i told hannah at lunch "cody accumulated seventy pushups in one set!!! he is to do them when we return for sectionals"

"omg that's soooooooooooo many"

"no, no, no hannah, you don't understand sectionals in MY section. you do twenty, you get tired, you speak of your fatigue, KENNETH comes in and sits on your back."

and she laughed and so did i because my section is so silly, but... it's true. when they can't do pushups anymore occasionally one will come in and sit on their back to make it harder.

seventeen pushups into it, cody yells "i can't do anymore!!!" (he really looked like he couldn't [after TWO even] he was all red in the face and panting and sweaty, etc) and kenneth yells "OMG I WANT TO WATCH!!!" RUNS over, and immediately sits on cody's back, slapping his ass.

i. CALLED IT! I WAS SOOOOO PROUD. the whole time i was frantically looking around going "WHERE IS HANNAH????? MY IMMEDIATE PROOOFFFFFF"

fun stuff. at mcdonald's cody came in (this is all before what i just said, i went backwards in time to when i just got acquainted with him) actually, no, let's go back before this.

in the basics block, i was behind him while earnest was giving instructions, and cody could NOT keep still, he was either dancing (like previously stating) or stretching his arms in a WEIRD pattern i just LOVED to mimic. which is really teh point of my story. i was mimicking him the entire time. and someone started laughing looking at us, and cody, not seeing me, said "HEY, don't you laugh at me!!!" hahahahaha

so back to mcdonald's, i hadn't had enough fun with him yet (i never can get enough of my section) so he enters way after everyone and immediately knows what he's getting and sits with these other people, and hannah's looking over me becuase i'm facing her and a wall, and telling me "omg, wtf is cody doing? he's just like, going to every table taking their stuff."

"oh, so he's just like derek? hey, i should call him over. you want?"

"yeah, i want to be like 'hey, cody, i need to talk to you white person to white person. you can't be getting so many pushups. pushups are bad. do you understand? just, just calm down. stop the madness'"

so we call him over, or rather, he passes us to get a refill, gives me the ol' "loser" sign with his fingers. and i say "that's seventy" hahaha (and i stuck by it too haha) and so while he's ordering, i very purposefully fail to be inconspicuous as i pick up the place mat like a newspaper and peer over it at him ordering, completely turned around in my chair. hahah, so then he does the loser sign again, and as he's passing i say "cody cody over here" and it just so happens hannah's already up throwing something away, and he looks as if he's not going to accept our invitation when i spring up from my seat and block the remaining path hannah wasn't covering and kindly escort him to his new seat. then we were talking for a long time, and i was like (reading the place mat) "the dow is down 15 pts. terrible terrible news." and somewhere in there they're talking about how white people have a psychic connection and cody was like "see, i just made a mental joke about you and hannah heard it and you didn't." and i was like "i'm half. i heard about half of it. something about my shoes." hahah

then, during our conversation, i transfer the paper to him, who proceeds to explore every calorie on that thing, before ripping a giant hole in it and proceeding to use it as a bib. of course with no mention of what he was doing, just continuing the conversation. it was GREAT. and i was like "hannah, do you realize how HARD we'd be laughing aright now if... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/20012613/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/20012613/ Sun, 17 Aug 2008 21:31:37 PDT
*sigh* i hate being worried for no reason.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/20009859/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/20009859/ Sun, 17 Aug 2008 18:32:20 PDT


I AM.... SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GODAMN PISSED RIGHT NOW.


after all the shit i did to make sure they'd stay. "oh, we're quitting." THEY WERE GOING TO BE IN JAZZ BAND! IN FIFTH PERIOD! ALSDFJALSKDFJLASDFJLASKDMFLAKSDFJLASKDJFLASKDJFLASKDJFLASKDJFLASKDJFLASKDFJALSDKFJALSKDFJLASKDFJALSKDJF


ALSKDJFLASKDJFLASKDJFLASKDJFLSKDJFLASKDFJLASKDJFLASFJLSKDFJALSDFKJSLDKFJSDKLFJ

you can't even imagine how fucked up this is. we're going to have two holes in the field show (in my section alone, not counting all the others we have) and our two best players (after me and jason) are leaving. JESUS. they didn't even say they hated band. they just "lost interest" and were selfish enough to fuck everyone for it. errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrasldjflasdjf

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/19990596/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/19990596/ Sat, 16 Aug 2008 16:05:04 PDT
so bandcamp's been..... ok so far. no eli or kent. can't remember if i talked about that, but they're "in mexico." they'll be back on monday. only, i just found out eli sprained his ankle T.T while "playing soccer." isn't that great? and karina will be back monday too, and kayley quit, so i need to get a replacement. hopefully also by monday. and i was thinking how much better these sectionals are going than usual (they're actually not that much better at all, but i haven't been HORRIBLY frustrated, no tears) until i realized it's probably just because eli and kent weren't there. so i'm guessing starting monday they're going to be horrible again T.T we have a new kid cody who is bad but massaro refused to put kenneth in fifth period, so this kid's going to be in it.... which will be.... interesting. he's REALLY bad. T.T he's also really weird. but i like weird people, so he should be an interesting addition to the saxophone family. we're planning a pool party here on the last day of bandcamp. i'm expecting an outcome of three, maybe four people, though many say they would or "might" go, i know most won't T.T but HOPEFULLY they will. i miss having fun with them. and swimming haha.


ok i have nothing left to talk about, which is weird, bandcamp is usually hella fun and full of stories. =/ oh well.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/19907953/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/19907953/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 00:35:37 PDT 1. change all the names of all the people mentioned
2. delete all the journals and put them on a flashdrive
3. stop being paranoid and hope no one gets bored and googles my sn.
i say there are two options because, really, number three? that's absurd. everyone googles everything when they're bored, and they're ALWAYS bored. but i dunno. i feel too lazy to do either option. i just wish google would update. T.T suggestions? can i contact them? like how i wish i could contact mapquest when they tell me north and south are opposite what they usually are but east and west are the same? SOMEONE NEEDS TO FIX THAT.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/19647061/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/19647061/ Mon, 28 Jul 2008 17:47:09 PDT i realized that during the school year i have several things to do at lunch anyway, so i might as well just never go. i can go to tutoring every day i don't have a club meeting! sure it's lonely and annoying in mr. wong's room, but i find it hard to believe it could be any worse than today was. and today was just like any other day. and maybe, maybe i'll join leo club, and get closer to ana and yuanjian, and hang out with one of them when neither of us has club meetings (unlikely), or or or maybe i'll join key club and hang out with azariah like i REALLY REALLY should have from teh start. it's so weird.... we're such close friends but i NEVER see him at school except once in a blue moon to get lunch with. but then i'll feel like i betrayed all my leo club friends, and then i'll feel like i betrayed myself for joining a community service club anyway. well, i guess my problem was joining them to get into college, not joining them to fill up time. so maybe i will.... i'll talk it over with yuanjian (which will result in me joining leo i'm sure) or azariah (which will result in me joining nothing after all or key club). Eh, i just feel like a weight's been lifted off my mind. once you admit to yourself that you really have no friends, it's a lot easier to move on. oh and calculus fits my schedule!!!!! It's first period. unforutnately................. now i need PE sixth period....which doesn't exist unless you're a freshman.... well, i'll just look on the bright side for now, since i have no control over these things anyway.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/19594585/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/19594585/ Fri, 25 Jul 2008 17:19:02 PDT
i kinda stopped caring about my section's disobedience and gave up on them. like, they still stress me out during the sectional, but i just check my frustration at the door.

euh, it's just the rest of life that sucks. like, everything. i really don't like hanging out at my spot at lunch. i thought it was ok since brian was there to talk to me, but yesterday he went to lunch and didn't come back (i felt kinda bad 'cuz i made it seem like i didn't want to go to lunch with him on accident since i was doing something else that i would have put down to go through the line, but then he just was like "oh, no... i'll just go by myself... i guess...") and so i was waiting for him to get back because of course the thing i was working on was done a minute later. and then he never came back T.T i kinda expected that, but i was still hoping. so i was sitting there all of lunch, by myself. well, really, there were other people there, but none of them talk to me. so that was lonely. like, REALLY LONELY. and i just can't stop thinking about how much i want other, real friends. or my real friends to move back. just, not what i have now. so right now i'm kinda hoping something will come up to give me an excuse to never go back, but i don't see that happening at all. if anything, i'm getting farther away from all my alternative friends. laksdjflaskdjflsdjflasjdflsdjflskdjflskdjf i just don't WANT to do anything. a lot of people say "i don't know what to do" but when it comes down to it, i just really want to stop doing EVERYTHING. makes me sad. life's so pointless.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/19298764/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/19298764/ Wed, 09 Jul 2008 19:32:40 PDT

....

today's sectionals were bad. i gave kent 30 pushups, jack 20, kenneth about 40. it's very frustrating. And one of my freshmen doesn't pay attention at all. I can just tell he'll turn into them one day. that or be horrible forever. =/

soooooo...... on a happy note, Derick talks to me sometimes in first period. i missed him and bye bye birdie. All we do is make references to last year. it's nice. haha, and we did salsa dancing yesterday.... it was hilarious. he tries so hard. omg, and we did erotic belly dancing T.T i obviously didn't even try, but he did! hahahah he tries so hard at everything. i love it.

ehhhhh, bleh. bleh bleh bleh. yesterday i slept like, all day, and this morning i woke up tired. SO TIRED. that's not right, and it pisses me off.

oh yeah and i told curtis i hated him, and he didn't believe me, but i gave a very convincing "oh yes i do." and then anthony chimed in about how i was going to write a book about Curtis, and Curtis was obviously filled with reasonable doubt, so he ended with a "...no you aren't....." but like, each of those words was really long and like a question. =/ i think about him in first period every day. another great reason why Derick is there: distraction! it just pisses me off that i'll probably never talk it out with him, and by that i mean go off on a harangue about how he's the worst friend i've ever had and list everything he's ever done, etc. instead, when he remembers our friendship, he'll look back and think that time tore us apart, when it was so obviously not. (obvious to all but the oblivious) i just want him to know that he failed in every respect and that it was by his actions that i chose to not talk to him anymore, not that we gradually grew apart. =/ i just want him to suffer, for a little while at least, or feel anything, actually. is that too much to ask?

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/19098087/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/19098087/ Sat, 28 Jun 2008 19:12:03 PDT
So summer school begins, as does Marching Season.

And with it, i must return once again to the wild children i once liked to call my section..


hoooooly crap, they're just little monsters. I had convinced myself that they had changed and matured into civilized people, but no.

FAR from it.

lasdkfjalsdjfldjf i just don't know what to do, because i'm honestly afraid that they'll eat me alive. It's an irrational fear, yes, but.... when you look into their eyes as they harass you, it doesn't seem so far-fetched. >.>

So i'm really stressed out about that, but at least i have until wednesday to perfect my plan of action... 'cuz i can't just continue like this, those beasts most be tamed somehow. The funny thing (which also makes it extremely difficult) is that in their minds they are ENTIRELY vindicated. That I, to them, am some evil tyrant that must be thwarted. I really don't understand how they can honestly believe there should be no rules or discipline and people should be allowed to do as they please. It makes no sense to me. laskdjflsdjflasjkdf so they're doing what is "righteous," which is giving me a royal pain in the ass. euuuhhhh.

I'm just gonna tell Massaro, i'll be a little taddle-tale, who cares? It should do the trick. Put 'em in their place. And maybe even convince them that THEY're the unreasonable ones. T.T


mmmbleh

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/18666644/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/18666644/ Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:19:28 PDT
]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/18310841/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/18310841/ Tue, 13 May 2008 18:54:11 PDT
i am so godamn happy right now. DDDDDDDDD



BROOKE'S COMING NEXT FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

I was so immensely jubilant, i was practically twitching through all my classes. i had the giggles all day. eeeeeeyyyy i even danced with my section leader (not to say we don't do that every day, but still xD)


fuuuuuuuck i'm happy. yayz abound.

so yeah, next sunday HUGE party (well, the invite lists are always huge then no one shows up, but it's all coo' i'm just so godamn hyped. eeeee

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/17918417/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/17918417/ Fri, 18 Apr 2008 20:29:42 PDT

he's never EVER said anything appreciative of me... i was so touched, because he... doesn't even say stuff like that, or mention/ rate friendship. so that was nice.

so i dunno, again he promised he would, he said he felt sorry, hannah's totally detatched, apparently he's trying to get over her anyway, he now appreciates me (i'm seriously so happy that i could cry), and i could easily raise the question of the sluts and command him to not talk to them--i'm a big girl.

so iiiiiii dunno, maybe i could leave him a little calculator love note (we left eachother some today: "what ever happened with hannah?" "idk i don't think she likes me anymore " So maybe my response will be "you wanna go to prom with me???? "

but then i dunno.... that kinda assertiveness scares me. too straightforward = presumptuous in my mind, it's not my character... but i don't want to back down later if i have to do it in person.

i'll think about this.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/17840595/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/17840595/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 22:20:40 PDT
2nd semester started: Hannah just stopped talking to me. well i guess she had stopped talking to me at lunch for this whole year, but we talked in my english class so it was ok, but she transfered out and still doesn't talk to me at lunch, so that's nice. T.T *sarcasm* So the only person i have to talk to at lunch is Derek, and so DEREK (the worst friend i've ever had***) was being a better friend than Hannah, which for a normal person wouldn't be saying much... but it's Derek... >.> So derek and i were getting pretty close, but we have this cycle where we can get to a certain closeness, and then he totally screws it up and does something mean. so we get to

New York: jazz band went and got first place (hellz yeah, out of other jazz bands from NEW YORK, the Californian one won.) and we saw this show Marry Poppins and it was amazing, and derek and i were close as hell, and then all of a sudden, the next day (day TWO of our trip, nice job screwing it up for the rest) he stopped talking to me, and it was horrible and killed me and my trip (i was really really miserable thereafter, like i can't even describe it.) so it was just really really bad and i felt useless and really angry at derek, and i also felt hopeless because he's (now) the only real friend i have to turn to at arroyo =/ and of course since i'm lonely and desperate, i forgave him incredibly quickly which brings me to

Hannah and Derek: they WERE (holy crap) together for, theoretically, the past three years, but really only for the past few months and OFFICIALLY NEVER together. T.T Confusing? YES. Infuriating? Very much so. Their stupid immature relationship has always pissed me off. And suddenly, when we came back form the break, Hannah was angry at Derek. I mean, i should have been angry, he had just wronged me, but she hadn't even SEEN him for a week, how could she be mad? well of course, since she didn't talk to me, i had no idea, but i could hear her talking to her other friends about some guy named paul she apparently liked (wtf is that>?????? SHE HAS A FREAKING BOYFRIEND WHO HAPPENS TO BE WITH US AT LUNCH WHILE SHE IS SAYING THIS, though he is some distance away) Well i was pissed because she didn't tell me anything anymore, so i didn't even try to find out, and i could only tell she was mad because she wouldn't talk to him, and so

on Myspace: Hannah posts all these bulletins and occasionally i read them to catch up, and i was shocked when i read the latest survey that said she would NOT kiss the last person she kissed and that she was "so over" the last person she liked....

O RLY? bitch, then BREAK UP WITH HIM!!!! don't just stop talking to him and act like it never happened, he at least deserves to know that you no longer care about him. GODAMN!!! i'd say i really don't know why i care about this so much, but i really do. and so do you, ONE reader (if you still even read these)... so this all becomes important

Tuesday: i walked home with Derek and the first thing i brought up was

PROM: godamn, he PROMISED me he'd take me AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!!! then what happens a month later? he gets with hannah! NICEEEE. nice job keeping a promise. well i didn't want to bring it up anymore (at least about me) but i recalled him saying before he promised to take me how he really wanted to go, but it was expensive, then when i asked him midyear when he was with hannah, he gave myriad responses: "SCREEEEWWWW that." "i don't like dances. i hate dancing." "i don't see the point" "i'll just go next year" "it's too expensive." So that Tuesday to had just heard Joe and Micheal were going with Julie and Tina (aka the lsfjalsdfjasklfj sluts), and so had derek, unfortunately this little fact didnt' click until YESTERDAY that this could be directly related to waht happens next, but for now let's just stick with what i realized as it happened.

"So are you going to prom?" (knowing full well that he and hannah had decided not to (or at least he had) and that they were no longer together)

"OMG I WAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNT TO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"=00.... really?"

"omg YES, it sounds so funnn, but it's too expensive..."

well that threw me into a state of confusion. he had just spent the past few months with hannah saying he wouldn't and i thought to myself, maybe.... is it because he didn't want to go with hannah? (i always think like that, in these unreasonable surmises based on what i know rather than waht others know, because i found out shortly....

Derek didn't know they weren't together anymore: *promprompromprom* "so are you and hannah together anymore?" "i don't knowwwwwww, she's mad at me for no reason!" "really?" "she's been a BITCH to me recently" "well she's always a bitch to you" "no, but seriously, like today shirley asked her who she talks to at lunch, and she liste... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/16889311/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/16889311/ Thu, 14 Feb 2008 19:44:20 PST

Tien(s)!
Your writing's so nice.
Anyway, yeah that sounds like a pretty similar situation. people suck. when i hate Derek, it sometimes scares me because i hate him enough to, like, literally shake with fury for a good week (i bet you thought i was going to say something violent, huh, Tien?! Silly you. haha, jk) What made it so much worse about Derek though was that even before he left he was an insensitive asshole (at least to me) and that we hated the sluts long before he left, and we hated them most in the world, so that was the biggest, most painful insult he could slap us with. I guess I'm over it now, though,... before i couldn't even talk about it without shaking in anger and crying or something. i guess our friendship just seems a lot less intimate now, like, whatever, i guess. I don't really know ho to feel about that actually, like it's less painful to not care about somebody who hurts you, but apathy and loss of emotion over time seriously scare and sadden me. Like i care about Curtis less now too which i guess is good... but i guess I'm just really afraid of becoming like him: empty. I guess I'd rather feel pain than that... (don't tell him i said that, that goes against everything I've ever believed) these were the kinds of things Curtis and i would talk about during our all-nighters which made them special. If you remember, i told you before about our most recent all nigher about a month ago, and how i went to bed early because i was so depressed and how Curtis wouldn't take a two minute break to talk to me well it was for that very reason. We used to be such close friends even if he was an incredibly sucky one, it's something else to be at least connected with someone, you know? And in that night he wouldn't even talk to me, and i knew that that connection was lost, and that feeling of being connected to NO ONE in the world is so much worse than any of the asshole things he's done./ I just feel like I'm on some one way trip to an island away from everyone else.

Well i kinda went off topic with that, but that happens when i write by hand (i don't' know why) but that's been bugging me. my Saturday evening was pretty miserable. i have so many problems and had so many things happen when my friendship with Curtis was on hiatus and i want to catch him up, but it's like he doesn't care at all (which is probably accurate) and that in itself makes me sad, plus i have to keep all that crap bottled up around him; it's like there's so much piled up i couldn't even tell him it all if he wanted to now, and i just keep remembering when i 'm with him all the crap i had to go through alone because he wasn't there for me, and that keeps me from getting close to him again, it's like vicious cycle. Well on Saturday i just got really sad and we were at the bowling alley, and i couldn't even talk about it even though we were practically alone because there was just this invisible yet obvious wall between us, and i really wanted to cry and he could tell, but i couldn't even explain why, and as part of that barrier you could see in his eyes he wasn't really begging to know anyway. and suddenly i started talking about my misery, but it only lasted about one sentence (or idea) before i stopped; there was just some oppressive force between us that wouldn't let me tell him more, because i knew he didn't really care, or eve if he did, couldn't understand.
Your Pal,
Elisa

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/16708105/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/16708105/ Sun, 03 Feb 2008 13:48:58 PST
Monday: no school, deca (favorite club) barbecue

Tuesday-Wednesday: school, regular

Thursday: late start, baby!!!

Friday: 8th grade recruition day (favorite day of the year, don't have to go to school)

Saturday: deca competition

Sunday: regular weekend

I should have updated throughout the week, because it's been longggggggggggggggggggggggggg since it was so jam packed, but i'll do the best i can to remember.

Monday:

So the barbecue didn't start until 11, and i was going to give people rides, including Curtis, whom i also wanted to come over and watch movies. Unfortunately, Curtis doesn't pick up his cell phone... ever. The day before i'd called him all day to make sure he was coming, and finally i caught a hold of him, because he'd just woken up, and he was sooooooooo out of it, he didn't even know he needed a ride, and he didn't know anything i was talking about, but he had to come over around 8 because that was the last ride he coudl get here, but he had to ask, so he said he'd call me back... i went to bed at midnight and he still hadn't called me back T.T So then i wake up Monday, and of course there's a missed call on my cell and a voicemail, and it's Curtis! Which is an "of course" in this situation but in real life, that's amazing, he never calls back and he never leaves messages. So it was quite intriguing, and a pretty cute message:

"Hey Elisabeth.... i fell asleep earlier, so it's now 4.... am... and i asked my parents, but they don't want to take me to your house.... but.... as long as..... hm.... i can walk there after they leave for work, but i suck at directions and don't know where you live... so i'll just ask Yuanjian when he's going and walk with him... so i guess we'll figure everything out when you're awake..."

That's almost word for word, 'cuz i creepily listened to the message a couple of times, but there was something about his parents wanting him to stay home and watch some movie called the soup cook? but i remember in the message it was random and out of place, so i have no idea where it went. Anyway, i called him back, told him Yuanjian wasn't coming, and that he can't be that bad at directions, because my house is exactly a straight line from his, literally, but then he had to look it up on mapquest, and was embarrassed to find out "omg, it is a straight line" T.T So he said he'd start walking around 8. Then at (it was 7 when i woke up) 7:45 he calls and says, "hey my mom decided to take me, and i'm almost there, so can you go wait outside so we know where your house is?' and of course i'm still in bed because i wasn't expecting him until 9, but i slipped on some shoes, brushed my hair as fast as i could and went outside, to see him completely pass my house while i was standing there (pretty funny) and while i screamed "turn around, damnit, i'm behind you!!!" it was of course raining and took him forever to realize where i was. We were on cell phones too T.T

So Curtis finally came over for the second time in his life, even though i must've invited him over a million times. So he wanted to watch Garden State and so did i, but i couldn't find it so we watched I Heart Huckabees instead, which is another movie i wanted him to watch, adn he liked it, and hannah came, and huzzah huzzah it was nice. Then we went to the barbecue and played Rock Band (i sang ) and i got to talk to the decathletes, and eat, and then around 5 they started playing Call of Duty 4, which i found incredibly boring, so Hannah took me and Phuoc Hai and Curtis to my house, but unfortunately it was rush hour traffic and we were far away, so we didn't get there until six something, which was too late for Curtis to stay for another movie like we'd planned. But it was a nice day.

Tuesday:

Afterschool rehersal for band day, fun, we play Kids Aren't All Right, and we call it Kids, and Kenneth didn't have it, so i offered him mine, so afterwards just to make sure, he was like, "Can i have your kids???" and neither of us realized it sounded ridiculous until someone next to us was like, "wtf?!" xD That always seems to happen with me and my section. In band camp i was teaching Kenneth how to march, adn posture and all that, (if you recal) and i kept telling him to stick his butt out, and he got it right away and it was good, but thsi freshman girl Sujeiry came over, and she was like, "Kenneth, what the hell is wrong with your butt, you're sticking it way far out," and i was annoyed 'cuz she was wrong and a freshman and III was teaching him, so i was like, "nooo, his butt i... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/15567065/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/15567065/ Sun, 18 Nov 2007 18:25:34 PST
Well, as usual, marching season was the best. But this was the last of a lot of things. The heart of my section and that of the whole band is graduating this year. :[ I'm gonna miss them so much, I can't even describe it. Derick Ngan has been my section leader since freshman year. Vivian and Andy have been my section. Joe and Micheal have been what made band fun. Anant has been our sole soloist. Those six alone have been INVALUABLE in this band's success. Well, maybe not Andy and Vivian, but the other four make our band what it is. They're nothing short of AMAZING. Then you have the other outstanding seniors who in other bands might have been considered amazing had they not such GODLY peers. What's going to happen to band? :[

Even if the seniors weren't leaving, the end of marching season itself is saddening. After it, friendships fall to pieces, and we're no longer all part of something great. There's no more purpose. There's no unity. :[ GODAMN, why the hell didn't I write up here every DAY about my section? My GOD, they were AMAZING and TERRIBLE. They were little MONSTERS I loved with all my heart. I went through SO much strife this year due to them and I can't begin to explain how much they mean to me. I should have written journals every Monday and Friday. Sectionals where they made me want to kill myself and football games where I wanted to adopt each one as my own. And then later I'd write up Saturdays too, where in the course of a day they'd both make me want to kill myself and cry for joy and compassion. Thursdays too, though those were more often saddening than merry. The POINT is, they made each day seem like a week and packed this marching season with SO much drama and SO VERY MANY mixed feelings that it couldn't help but be meaningful [which is all I really want out of life, meaning].

So now I'm left not knowing what to expect for next year, as those sectional mixed feelings and futures have little been resolved [though Kenneth, the god and devil, says he'll be joining again next year... maybe T.T], yet knowing entirely what to expect for the remainder of this year. Stupid, unimportant drama [because that sectional drama really seemed worthwhile] with my other club friends. I look forward to being focused on those clubs and remaking those friends, but I am just SO sure I'm going to regret in the end even making their acquaintance.

So we're on to Concert Season. Full of not fourth period Freshman Section, lacking conversation with Eli [though we didn't talk this marching season anyway], focused on Deca and Speech, all the while doing my dreaded homework. Yay. :/ At least it means the Winter Concert and the musical. :] Epic.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/14227280/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/14227280/ Sat, 18 Aug 2007 14:36:07 PDT
THANK YOU SO MUCH PEOPLE!

Makes muh fill speshul.

First half week of bandcamp is OVER. Yaya. It was pretty really fun yesterday, but the day before that sucked ass, and the day before that is OH so too long ago to recall. I almost won the dill down yesterday, and I played a HILARIOUS game called What If with my section for section bonding day (as yesterday was) and it was LOVELY. hahaha, we played two rounds, and the first one might have been the most funny series of moments of my life. It's a pretty complex game, and none of us had heard of it anymore, but here's how it goes down.

Everyone gets a scrap of paper and writes one "what if..." question. Then we put that in a box, and it goes around and everyone picks one out, and then answers teh question on the same piece of paper, so each one has a question and answer and then we put those in a box too, and then the box goes around yet again for us all to have a question/answer paper. THEN, the fun starts as one person reads of their question and the person to their left reads off HIS/HER answer, so it's kinda like Madlibs. THEN, that person reads off the question on hers, and so of course we now know that someone put as their answer to that, so that's funny in and of itself, then the next person gives his/her answer, etc. Fun huh? Maybe not too fun? WELL THAT'S WAHT YOU THINK! I guess we all thought it would be a realy stupid non-fun game, 'cuz the girl that told us about it laughs at EVERYTHING, so I guess we all wrote funny stuff that bagged on other people as our waht if question. And round one was AMAZING, hahah, EVERY SINGLE QUESTION AND ANSWER WAS ABOUT BEING GAY, specifically my section leader Derick (who we all know is a closet queer) and our band director Massaro (who is obviously gay). haha, so whereas the question and answers weren't supposed to line up, like in madlibs, EVERY QUESTION HAD AN APPROPRIAtE AND HILARIUOS ANSWER. haha. Three of the questions were, "what if Derick were gay" and three were "what if massaro were strait" hahah, but there were lots of us, so those weren't the ONLY questions, and some funny ones were as follows.

Derick reads: "what if you cheated on your boyfriend?"

Eli is next in line xD : "I'd be gay" hahahahaha

Eli reads: "what if Derick were strait" hahahahahaha

Julie reads: "Wilson would be gay." hahahaha
...

Karina reads: "what if Eli wasn't bipolar?" haha (she wrote taht question! Eli thought it was me, too T_T )

Jack: "Band would be a lot less fun." haha so very true "what if you died?"

Jupiter: "I would be a lot less gay" hahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHA xD
....

Kayley: "What if Massaro was strait?"

Andy: "....He would probably go for Andy." hahahahahahah "What if Eli was gay?" hahahahah XD

Round TWO

"What if you had pink hair?"

"We would win sweepstakes" haha "what if we had no flutes?" HAHAHA

"everyone would be happy" ohhh joyous
.....

"What if Massaro was black?"

"He would be a lot less of a bitch" hahahaha

yayyy fun

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/14141495/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/14141495/ Sun, 12 Aug 2007 23:39:30 PDT
Deca's been going nicely. Makin' some friends, spending some time learning... I say TODAY was pretty productive, as far as summer assignment reading and memorizing music go. I was sick on Saturday and I couldn't really move, so I didn't do anything. I wish I had, but I couldn't. I wanted to do my speech outline for Deca and reread Econ, but I guess Deca will have to take lesser priority compared to the immediate issues at hand.

It's fun stuff, though.

Wow, I just can't believe it's next year already... I also can't believe that Mr. Vu is now Commissioner of Activities at MOUNTAIN VIEW (JUST found out, after I typed this little paragrph). =0 (he was my favorite teacher last year, who is 33, looks like he's 19, acts like he's 12, and has the mentality of a 7 year old. It was wonderful for him to teach us World History AP at seven in the morning.) He only taught AP for two years. =0 Only two classes had the honor of hearing his lectures. Crazy. I'm kinda really sad for the incoming people, who won't get to have him, but then kinda happy that I DID and they DIDN'T. I'm a little elitist like that. =/ So wow, he won't even be at my school anymore.... that's a little more than depressing....

shtickyman: i'll miss our interesting convo.

so sad. haha, I get what he means NOW. It took me our whole discussion about his job to realize, "omg, it's at Mountain View. T_T" 'cuz I was even like, "... 'cuz you can't be on AIM anymore???" I didn't understand why he said he'd miss our convos. awe. haha. I'm so stupid hahahahah. It was a WHILE ago that he told me what and where he was applying for >.> I forgot... Damn I feel like I can't remember for shit.

Oh, just yesterday we all found out my grandma has Alzheimers. We aren't surprised at all. My mom's a little sad, but I've never really known my grandma, and my mom doesn't REALLY like her, so... yeah. It's kinda scary though, because even though she doesn't have the hereditary kind, my great grandma had it, and now she has it, and my mom and aunt can't remember at all either. =0 But SAYS THE DOCTOR it isn't the hereditary kind, but bad diet and lack of exercise increase your risk, and my mom and aunt have horrible diet and don't exercise... but my grandma is the EPITOME of health... she's like 80 and he goes to the gym everyday (amazing she can still get there T_T ) well yeah. Crazy stuff abound....

Damn, he freaking even called the Blue, Black, and White assembly the Purple and Gold assembly, and First Bash the Aloha Dance, and I STILL didn't understand what he was talking about when he said all the stuff about how those are Mountain View's versions of our assemblies. I just thought 'cuz he's an alumnus hailing from there... I wish I could put two and two together....

Now that seems really anticlimactic. I was waiting to hear if he got the job, all excited for him, and he did, and after a whole GOODBYE talk, the VERY END, where he's like, already signed off, I'm like, "wait a minute =0" T_T That's just like, BAM, your hampster died. The one you're looking at is your new one. Or something like that, haha. After playing with the hampster for a while too. hahaha. God, it's late, excuse my ramblingness and horrible euphemisms. So yeah... different school. hahahahah, I told that to my brother a couple of seconds ago, the whole conversation and scenario, and he was like, "hahahahahaah don't YOU feel like a stupid ass?" and I was like, "yeah kinda" hahah Wow. It's pretty humorous in it's sheer inticlimacticity. hahaha.

P.S. I know you won't, but don't AIM him unless you know him. I know you wont.... but yeah....

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/14018235/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/14018235/ Sat, 04 Aug 2007 17:25:07 PDT
...

=/

Brooke's leaving on Sunday. And I probably won't see her between now and then, unless it's for her to give me back my retainer case. I'm very sad.

Now that she's *pretty much* gone, I feel like there's nothing left to live for hahah. T_T Seriously, I have 11 days until band camp... and in those 11 days I have to finish off all my summer assignment.... which is really long and gay. T_T I don't want to do it.... at all. Like, not even a little bit. I think maybe I'll do half of it, and wind up with a B in the class. I don't really care anymore. =/ I am looking forward to band camp, that's always fun........ I just wish Brooke didn't have to leave, and we didn't have to be so dangerously close to aNOTHER YEAR of school, another field show that'll end too soon, another batch of freshman I'll get attatched to only to realize they're assholes, another lot AP classes with AP homework, another year of guys and girls alike being assholes... *sigh* I really really really do hate shcool. I wish marching band could last forever.... I wish people never turned out to be worse than you'd known....

=/

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/13566393/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/13566393/ Sun, 01 Jul 2007 16:32:14 PDT [link]

[link]


I like those. Lookit'em.

Mm. Trig sucks. We get farrrrr to much homework. We easily have 50 times as much homework/ classwork as the other classes. Damn Wit. So yeah. Blah. ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/13501612/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/13501612/ Tue, 26 Jun 2007 17:25:51 PDT
-----------
it's about to get even more so, since I didn't get to tell you about my yesterday or my dream. Well, yesterday, I was pissed off at Curtis for beating me, and I was talking to Anthony, hoping to get cheered up, but knowing that something about going on the computer wasn't the best idea BEFORE doing my horrendous ammounts of homework for trig. But I went on anyway.

Anthony always takes a while to respond because he talks to so many people, so I was on myspace at the time, and I saw Allan's bulletin about how he's in Wong's class for trig. And that wasn't so bad, I mean, 'cuz that means I'll be able to see him, but the end of it where he was like, "And I went out with Johnny, Richelle, and Victor," just got me.... sad. >.> And so I was sad about that and mad about Curtis, and God knows I can never feel two emotions at once, so all the pounds and pounds of anger and hatred I had for Curtis (because it's still continuing, my week and a half of hating him more than I ever have before) all translated very quickly into immense anguish, and I wasn't even talking to Anthony that much anymore, since I don't like talking to people when I'm sad (even though people like Anthony actually CAN cheer me up) but Eli was asking me for help on math, and I was like, having a panic attack, and trying to help him as quickly as possible so I could go to bed, while trying to complain to Anthony or atleast express my distress. And finally it was too much and I told Anthony I was leaving, and Eli asked another question after I told him goodbye, and I was like "euuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh T_______T" and so I told him how to do it really quick, and he said he didn't get it, and I was like, "I can't really help you right now, I'm having a mental breakdown and I really have to go" and I'd already said to Anthony minutes before that I was leaving, and so Anthony was like, "ttyl?" and I said I dind't think I'd be on later, but I said g'night, and he said at the very end, "Feel better."

And I dunno, taht's just what friends SAY, but I don't have very many real friends, so that was crazy. And I was in my room like, "why the hell does no one else care? If I'd told Curtis he NEVER would have said 'feel better,' why doesn't anyone care?" and afterward, I read, and when I finished reading, I did feel better, and I brushed my teeth, and I stayed looking in the mirror thinking, "it's not too much later, Benji's on the computer, Anthony's probably still on, I should just tell Benji, 'is anthony on?' 'yeah, why?' 'can you tell him something for me?' 'i guess...' 'can you tell him, "Lisa feels better now. Possibly simply because you told her to. She says thanks for being so awesome,"' and then he'd ask me what all that meant and I'd be like "can you just say it?" And so I contemplated what it'd be like from Anthony's perspective, adn realized it was SLIGHTLY suggestive of my true appreciation of his friendship, but not so much as to sound weird even if he did realize, so after much further contemplation of what Benji would think, and how I shoudl say it, if I could say it like that, how I would answer any possible questions, etc., I went out to the playroom and told Benji, "Is Macruz online?" and he said, "Uh..... lemme see.... x, right? Oh yeah, he's right-- ho man, he JUST signed off, like, the little signing off door's still there. Look, come look, look! It's still therrrreeeeeee ok now it's gone. Sorry, kido." T_T If I hadn't taken so much time to carefully analyze the situation... I coulda told him. Oh well, I somehow managed to put it in an email I just sent to him, saying, "it's lost all its meaning now, but here." sooooo yeah. And then I had. A dream. =0

Well, when I was lying there in bed trying to go to sleep (a good two hours of the night) my thoughts kept returning to Curtassfucker and Allan, one dealt with with reproch, the other longing remembrance. And I kept thinking as soon as they popped up, "NOOOOOO I'm thinking about ANTHONY, NO ONE ELSE!" 'cuz I didn't wanna be depressed anymore, and it worked on two levels. I wasn't as bothered as I would have been throughout the night, and I had a VERY Anthony filled dream. It all started off (I don't really konw HOW it all started off, but this is where the most important stuff started off)

We were at the Bio camping trip, and some how or another, Anthony and a small group and I had been left behind while the others went on some excersion. Well, during their absence, we walked in on some rather startling, secret, disturbing news.... or scene, I don't know what to call it. The scientists orienting the trip (they all wore like, biohazard crap to add the the mood/tone of hte dream) had some business conflicts with another science crew member (they wore suits undern... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/13345763/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/13345763/ Thu, 14 Jun 2007 17:13:04 PDT [link]

[link]

if you don't check those out and love them, in order of course, I don't konw WHAT'S wrong with you, 'cuz that shit be hilarious.




And I got an A.

P.S. OMG. My birthday's coming up, and I just got one of the coolest gifts EVER!:

I"M GONNA BE SECOND CHAIR NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 DDDDDDDDDD

And that WOULD make me section leader because my section leader's Drum Major and you're not supposed to do both, but since he's a powerhungry prick, he's still gonna be section leader, but he's like, relinquishing some of his power (mostly the obligations) to the rest of us. But that's another matter. The point is, I'm SECOND CHAIR. SECOND. That's like, Leuitenant of Squad Saxophone. VICE CAPTAIN. =0 That's...... ludicrice. omg. I'm so excited. I put Jason in his jackass place! haha, he was all telling me, "What's wrong, Eliza? Why aren't you gonna be first chair next year? What's wrong, Eliza? I'm gonna be first chair next year, Eliza, the audition piece is easy. You got a problem with that, Eliza? Get out of here!" Waht an asshole. =/ I dunno why he keeps calling me Eliza, but its' really derogatory. It's like if I called him a Chink or something. I dunno. Well not only is he NOT first chair, and I BEAT him, but I beat him by TWO CHAIRS. hahahah. Weee. And I'm really proud too, 'cuz the only people I lost too are one's I never ever dreamed I could defeat, so I'm fine staying behind them. And Rudy's quitting anyway, which makes me, like I've been saying, NUMBER TWO!. Ok, I'm done. I'm just a little excited about fifth period next year.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/13170223/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/13170223/ Thu, 31 May 2007 22:31:15 PDT
++++++++++++++++++++++
Hahahaha. C'est sooooooo dans-trende.
Ces filles doivent attendre pour moi. Quand j'ai 18 ans, PUIS elles peuvent me vouloir. Hahahahaha. Je ne sais pas.

HAHA! Le feces out de vous?! Quelle situationne! Hahahahaha.
=O SILENCE! IL Y A TOUJOURS DE FILLES QUI ME VEULENT! xD

AHAHAHAHA! Curtis a été comme Allan Xu quand Julius a été cette école?! LMAO! C'est très grosse.

Yuanjian sucke. Il doit getter une vie. Il ne nous aide pas pour ANYCHOSE. -_-"
Juste pour ça, IL DESERVE être après toi dans le top 10. HAH. Ne lui le dit pas...
YUANJIAN DOIT GETTER UN BOOTY-CALL DE JULIUS AUSSI! HAHA.
(Comme Curtis ET Allan)

HAHA! Tu as des feelings pour YUANJIAN? NE ME LE DIS PAS! C'EST TROPPPPPPP BIZARRE.

Tu dois getter past tes feelings depresses. Il ne va rien t'aider!
Je ne sais pas...







MERCI POUR LE GATEAU! Il est très délicieux. Tu et ta mère êtes très très très sympathiques
JE VEUX TE COUCHER! Maybe pas... si oeui. hahahaha
Ce n'est pas un bon raison pour such expèriences.?


COUCHES AVEC YUANJIAN! HAHA!

Ton ami,
Antoine

ps. POURQUOI EST-CE QUE TU ES LING LING?! TU N'EST PAS ASIE!
Tu peux être... umm.. Muhammad Ling, c'est un propèr nom pour toi. Hah.

++++++++++++++
translation
++++++++++++++

Hahahaha. That's soooooo in-trend.
The girls have to wait for me. When I'm 18, THEN they can want me. Hahahahaha. I dunno.

HAHA! The shit out of you?! What a situation! Hahahahaha.
=O SILENCE! THERE ARE ALWAYS GIRLS THAT WANT ME! xD

AHAHAHAHA! Curtis was like Allan Xu when Julius was at school?! LMAO! That's so gross.

Yuanjian sucks. He has to get a life. He doesn't help us for ANYTHING. -_-"
Just for that, HE DESERVES to be after you on top ten. HAH. don't tell him...
YUANJIAN HAS TO GET A BOOTY CALL FROM JULIUS ALSO! HAHA.
(Like Curtis AND Allan)

HAHA! You have feelings for YUANJIAN? DON'T TELL ME! IT'S TOOOO WEIRDDDDDD!!!
You have to get past your depressed feelings. He's (It's) not going to help you with anything!
I dunno...







THANK YOU FOR THE CAKE! It's very delicious. You and your mom are very very nice
I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU! Maybe not.... so yeah. hahahaha
It's not a good reason for such an experience.?


HAVE SEX WITH YUANJIAN! HAHA!

Your friend,
Antoine

ps. WHY ARE YOU LING LING?! YOU'RE NOT ASIAN!
You could be... umm.. Muhammad Ling, it's a proper name for you. Hah.
+++++++++++++++++++


=0 Does this mean anything? hahahah, I dunno, it seems to ME, that he's jealous that I find Yuanjian attractive. I especially like the incredibly random "I want to have sex with you" in giant capital letters towards the end. I was like, "whaaaat the fuckkkkkkkk =0 Is he serious?" Is he serious? He's said it before.... but, I dunno. Help?

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/12844483/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/12844483/ Fri, 04 May 2007 19:49:28 PDT haha, I was about to say, "In all my life, I don't think I've ever felt hope, but now I do" haha, but I get like this EVERY YEAR this time of year! You know why!? OF COURSE YOU DO! BROOKE'S COMING SOOON!!!!!! AMAZINGLY THOUGH, this isn't optimism started with the idea of her coming, in FACT, I'd been having doubts about the stability of our fun for this summer, and I'd had nightmares and everything, and I was REALLY freaking out. That was until, YESTERDAY. haha

I actually have NO IDEA what happened, but somethign clicked in my brain, two solid days after it should have. Well, Massaro passed out the Algebra II STAR tests, and I noticed that Ricardo recieved one, meaning that he was STILL in Algebra II, something I'd actually prayed for! haha, because you see, I don't want it to end, our intertwined lives of class scheduels, and it was coming to its close. So I was like, if only he were going into Calculus AB next year, I would have him for that. And apparently (unless he takes the easy way out) He will be! =0 Giving me another oppurtunity to make nice with him. But then, I realized, I would have to break the awkwardness between us and take up casual conversation! In a class where I knew I'd have a lot of people to talk to. The other thing was though, that all the Asians who I'm AQUAINTED with, are going to be gathered in ONE place, meaning a large group of them, and me on the outside.

Then it hit me. His friends weren't gonna be in it either! They were ALREADY in Calculus! =0 AANNNNDDDDd the last but most important realization, TRIG! Trig over the summer! Summer! Bonding, outgoingness, invitations, pool, birthday party, and TRIG POSSIBLY WITH RICARDO. If it so happens that we have the same trig class, all it takes is, ".... hey, are any of your friends taking this class?...... oh, well, you wanna be my math buddy? ^^'" and then BAM, it all goes quickly from there to, "Hey, you wanna meet my friend Brooke?" to "Hey, you wanna come over again, this time for swimming?" To a DAILY THING, much like last year with Allan and Azariah. And then we'll be like best friends, preparation for when we possibly have calc, french, and body conditioning. =0 and THEEEEENNNNNNNn, once that's established, we'll be like, scheduel buddies, and in the sad event that Hannah should move away, I'll have a COOL KIDS spot to FINALLY calll my own! =0 Hannah spent all last year being like, "Omg, Ricardo's totally gonna invite you to the cool kids spot, I'm so jealous, I'm NEVER gonna be invited" and we fantasized about it (in actuality I was SOOOOOOO FAR away form being invited, I'm sure, I barely knew him T_T But I was hooked)

Yeah, and then you kon whaattttttttt? After that! It's just gonna fly by to prom time, when he might possibly ask me! ME AND RICARDO GOING TO HIS SENIOR PROM! =00000000 And then! THEN! Then we could get together! And get married! =0 I'm SO EXCITED I COULD EXPLODE!

Of course, this is all exaggeration, but the mere fact that it's POSSIBLE, that it's not some weird fantasy. But a POSSIBILITY! Not just some, "what if he was in my maht class" like it used to be. But he CAN be! OMG! All this is possible because of AN ALGEBRA TWO CLASS! I'm SO happy he failed Wit's last year! I've been given a second chance! <3

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/12688739/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/12688739/ Sun, 22 Apr 2007 08:22:42 PDT ((oh and don't quote me, Anthony and I tend to make up words.. but most is genuine French =] ))

**le lettre**
Oh là là! CONCERT BAND SUCKONS! >.< JE LES DETESTE! >.< Dans le period quatrième, je veux me killer! SACRE BLEU, nous jouer les chantes facille, exclusivement, et STILLE les personnes dans cette classe ne peuvent pas jouer! Feaking, serieusement. >.> C'est comme, "half note, quarter, quarter, half note, quarter quarter." ET ILS NE PEUVENT PAS JOUER LE PREMIERE NOTE!!!!!! Freaking....... half notes. Ils ne sont pas difficile.... Mais..... fuck. x_x

Je ne sais pas pourquoi JE SUIS dans cette class. Ou Jason, ou Eli! Nous bolongons dans period cinqième, mais, "nonnn, nous ne pouvons pas avoir trop de saxophonnes dans un period, vous devons être dans quatrième, parce que je suis un faggot. & hearts --Massaro" SCREWE-LA! Jason est le beste dans quatrième, et je suis le deuxième... nous sommes un million temps plus bien que les autres combiné!


*calms-down*

Oké Oui, mon jour hier a été borning.... mais, tu sais comment j'ai eu cinq heures de sommeil accumulaté trois jours dernier? hahah, oh là là, alors, hier.... j'ai éveillé (awake) cinq heures.... uniquement! hahaha. J'ai réveillé à deux heures (après-midi) et j'ai dormi à sept heures (ou quand-ever j'ai te dit que je suis allée au lit) =] Trop de sommeil, tu pense? Je ne sais pas.


Bon matin et bonjour!
Elisabethe

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/12648057/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/12648057/ Wed, 18 Apr 2007 20:59:55 PDT AshuraSK and Qs if I can't think of anything. If you feel like responding, I'll give you a letter too.

1. X-treme banking
2. X-press delivery
3. X-piration dates (helpful haha)
4. X-citement avec les garçons mingons
5. X-tra credit for hard classes
6. Quick-fix
7. Quiet-destruction
9. Questionne marks randomes
10. Q-FRENCH French is fun fun fun.

Oh là là! Antoine a dit maintenant.......



MaCkuRz: jeez
MaCkuRz: you make me sound useles.
MaCkuRz: useless*
RPG: hahah
RPG: useless?
RPG: what
RPG: you want to be used for sex?
MaCkuRz: lmao
RPG: is that what you're implying in this situation?
MaCkuRz: why not?!
RPG: haha oh la la
RPG: parce que
RPG: quand j'ai t'invité pour coucher'
RPG: tu as dit
RPG: NON! DANS TON DREAMES
RPG:
MaCkuRz: lmao
MaCkuRz: c'est faux!
RPG: =00000
MaCkuRz: j'accepte!
RPG: hahah
MaCkuRz: mais, pas ce temps.
MaCkuRz:

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/12406632/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/12406632/ Sat, 31 Mar 2007 19:27:11 PDT
Um. I had a REALLY depressing movie in a dream. And I had the whole thing typed up. But I just fucking closed the box. So if Bianca by ANY chance saved the box, would she PLEASE send it to me so I can put it here?

It was the most depressing movie ever, and it was my favorite, but it doesn't really exist.

It was so sad, though.

It was in the future, and there were transvestites, and drunks, and orphans, and track stars, and lots of sad sad deaths and themes. D=

So sad..................

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/12186150/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/12186150/ Wed, 14 Mar 2007 19:41:19 PDT ah bon, cela été le meilleur jour de mon vie. Ahh... 300. Un bon film, avec des bons hommes.... un M. Vu, un M. Kunka, et Benji et Tim, et moi... une equipe supercool! haha oh la la, nous avons eu des bons temps. M. Vu a gigglié dans les scenes sex. XD aaahhh. Awesomement. X) Et, samedi après, j'ai eu un bon jour parceque l'Asian Possy a le vu aussi! Il est la neuvelle Troy! Supercoolment! hahaha! oh la la, et John peux jouer du paino très très très bien! =0 Cele été beau. Ah.... des bons jours de mon vie... X)

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11860124/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11860124/ Sat, 17 Feb 2007 20:34:48 PST
Mmmokay, well it all starts out, I believe, in good ol' Mr. Colvin's room at a Speech and Debate meeting, and we're discussing what to do for banquet, whether we go to a fancy restaurant, or Café Selah, or this plaza, or all these places. And finally, we decide to go to Yuanjian's house for a nice pizza party. (Yuanjian in real life isn't even in Speech, so it makes no sense already.)

Mmmokay, but in the middle of the discussion, as I think of where I want to go (they descide while I'm thinking this) I get a flashback of (or I guess I try to remember) last year's banquet. Now I get this image of Benji sitting on the groun in a suit behind a pillar (leaning up against it) talking with a good Speech buddy (and a fancy restaurant door is next to them). And I KNOW this person, and I have a VERY STONG COMPELLING feeling about them, like when you know something is meaningful and important and has had a huge chunk of your life and your memories as part of it. But I couldn't see the guy and for the life of me I couldn't remember him! I had no idea what his name was, or what he looked like, but I thought, or rather felt, "OMG, I remember him, he's.... him... he's last year's Speech Team, why, I'd almost forgotten... but he was so important to us, he was THE defining characteristic of that year, of my Speech life last year, he's in so much of my memory, and I can't believe I blocked it.... but who is he?"

And I TRIED to remember, with all of my heart who that boy was, the boy who'd quit, the boy who'd meant something to everyone and had always been there and about who we'd had so many stories. And my brain raced through all these images of him at tournaments talking to my brother, but he never had a destinguished face. And it was haunting me, that lack of memory...

But when I came back to "reality," they'd already descided on Yuanjian's house, and we continued on our adventure through space.

hahah, I have no idea why, but I was no aboard some giant CUBE SHAPED spaceship about to interact with some space colony I know. Yeah, and Benji was on the ship, and I was in my cabin and I asked him about that boy from before, the one from Speech, but I didn't want it to seem like I'd forgotten his name, so I phrased it as a kind of description like, "You remember last year in Speech at the banquet..." and he just said "Who? Who're you talking about? I don't remember."and I couldn't say, "I don't remember his name," so I just said, "Never mind."

Well, our spaceship reached the colony, and I knew what I must do: I don't now, but myself in the dream world did... she never told me. We had some mission to accomplish, very videogame-like, and we failed. So the colony blew up, and as we narrowly escaped, the camera zoomed out so show us flying away and the colony exploding, and both a count in the corner of the screen and a voice over said, "52,000 innocent lives lost on this colony alone" and we flew away.

Then all of a sudden, it WAS a videogame, and I knew it because I couldn't feel bad about their deaths, but only of my failure, so Tony, my old friend who appeared on the ship, descided to take control over the came, and we headed off to the next, identical, colony, where instead of going in, as it was now a videogame, he controlled our little character's actions from a controller in the living room of the spaceship.

He lost, and the exact same message was displayed.

Yeah then my mom woke me up to tell me she was going to work at the school and that she'd be back soon.

So I went back to sleep, of course, and found out that my mom was REALLY going to Home Depot to browse around and I told her I didn't wish to accompany her, as did Benji, and she didn't make us, but unfortunately, I was already there seeing her off, carrying my big, heavy, dog designed pink/black blanket about me, hating her for I can't remember why. Then Benji walks in from behind me and I question him angrily, "Why are you here!? She's not even buying anything, she's just window-shopping, she doesn't need you here you're wasting your time!" and he started picking up stuff and putting them in a cart and yelled back at me, "Help me out, will you!?" and I said to him, "WITH WHAT?!" and he said, "CHRIST PICK THAT UP WILL YOU!" and he pointed to a tennis racket on the floor, and I was like, "What do you want me to do!?" and he was like, "GOD, put it on here, will you!?" and he showed me he was holding another racket, and I tried, but it wouldn't balance, so I screamed, "GOD I CAN'T!" and I rushed out into the parking lot.

There, in my blanket, I walked toward the car's direction and pondered as to what I should do and how I would get home. As I approached or near... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11739620/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11739620/ Thu, 08 Feb 2007 19:07:18 PST I am the shit. >;]

Today was awesome, I'm "amazing," and my life's going pretty fine. Lesse. I dunno where I last left off, oh I see, diabetes, well, Benji's fine, so that's good. And he should be leaving for college soon, which is even better. He's a very VERY mean person. Um, I'm getting a lot of fun out of highschool now, and I blame Deca. It's the BEST club on ALL of campus. It's fun with nothing bad about it. Absolutely nothing. It's perfect. I can't even express to you how amazing Decathelon is. I just can't. Sooo, yeah, here's some general news.

-I joined track w/ Ana, and I'm getting in very few hours because I'm busy, but I do enjoy track a lot.

-I'm scheming, which is always nice. Elisa>Eliane>Frank>Yuanjian>Curtis>Elisa. Vu>Everyone. X)

-Brooke's enrolling for summer school At ARROYO! We'rea take ROP Manicuring together, because nails are my passion. haha, as Curtis has so elequently put it, my "passionne du fromage" XD

-l'HANNAH's in my English class now! We have SOOOOO MUCH FUNNNN in there. haha, it's only been one day, but STILL. haha, all we do is go, "Biiiitch, fuck you then, SLEEP!? SLEEP!? Biitch, no, haha, Sven,, haha, Jenny, haha Yuanjian. Fan. Fan. haha, Curtis. haha. ha. ha. Jason. haha." honestly that's ALL we say, and we understand it.

-I gave up a lot: Eli, trying, that's it. Mmm. Not trying means not caring means carefree means the way to be.

-"Man, I bet a million girls would kill to have your... physique." "No, just you." "Are you ok?" "Didn't you hear me? I just said you were amazing." "I didn't get to either." "Can't you see she's small and fragile!?" "I'm gonna EAT you." "Godamnit, Elisabeth."

-I win. My GPA is 4.14. Curtis got a 4.0, I have no idea how I beat him, but I did. And MORE amazingly, I got the highest Grade in Loewen's class (the only person to beat Curtis), which was incredibly ironic because just that day I'd filled out a form saying I received a C in that class >.> haha, so I had to change that.

Ok, so today, IIIII got excused from all my classes because Curtass told me to, and so he doesn't show up to 0, and I'm ABOUT to leave, and told Vu I was gonna, when the asshole shows up, and I'm like, "Curtis, turn around and leave, LEAVE LEAVE HURRY RUN!!!" and he just sits down like, "whaat?" and I'm like, "I'm leaving right now, and I can't ditch if you're here!" and he's like, "What?" I was like, "DAMNIT you said you got excused!" and he was like, "The bus isn't even coming until 9:30" and I'm like, "Mr. Vu think it's gonna be here right now, we have to leaaaaaaaaaaaaveeeeeeeee!" and we didn't wind up leaving until 7:25, and it was because Mr. Vu left the room, and I got up and slapped Curtis twice (no joke) and then took his stuff, and he was like, "haha ok" and so we left before Vu came back.

Unfortunately I JUST NOW remembered that Yuanjian has him for 1st and Mr. Vu must by now know that we ditched. :/

I told Yuanjian not to go. haha.

Ok, so we wandered, and just before I left Vu's, I told Hannah about John's being the antethesis of Jason Yee, and TWO SECONDS AND ONE HALL WAY LATER, I see John and meet him at Curtis ( I can meet people at eachother), yeah, then we don't ditch math because it's important to me, and so then we trip on some fields all the way to the Montebello Country Club. And then we looked at the view, and Curtis said he could pick me up and throw me over hte balcony, but he didn't. ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11598961/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11598961/ Sun, 28 Jan 2007 11:47:04 PST
Buut, yeah. I was having a really good day on Saturday, but then at 6 Benji went to the hospital. And I didn't know what to do, since I was asleep anyway, and they woke me up before they left. I thought it was Sunday. So I layed in bed. Actually, I thought it was Monday, and I was just laying there excited that Curtis was coming over in four hours (because we're having a deca meeting tomorrow) and at 9 I got up and made breakfast, haha, and realized my clock MUST be wrong because it was "9" and the sun hadn't even risen yet. And then at 9:30, Armondo called for my mom, and I was amazed because I didn't know people called before the sun rose. And my mom had put all of my stuff in a giant bag because the carpets got cleaned, so i looked for an hour for my DS, so I could see hte real time.

Then I did, and I learned that it was Saturday still, and then it made sense why the sun hadn't risen yet. And then my mom called from the hospital and said that Benji had diabetes, and she started crying. And it was sad, and I talked to Benji, and he said he was fine, and that he didn't know why mom just kept spontaniously weeping. And I was really sad, so I couldn't go to sleep until about three hours later. I was just lying in bed.

Today my mom and I went to visit him, because she came home at about 4 in the morning. She said that last night (I went to bed at 2pm (amazingly), which is why I woke up at 6pm) Armondo (her boyfriend who also has diabetes) demanded that she take Benji to the hospital, because he'd been feeling like he was dying since Friday, but at that point he could barely move and his mouth had absolutely no water in it. My mom said she felt his tongue and it was like feeling sand paper.

So she took him to the family care center, and they didn't see him right away because he looked fine to them, but before they did anything else my mom told them to check his blood sugar because he was afraid he had diabetes. And so they did. Their machine can read up to 550 for blood sugar, 90 being what an average person has. And their maching couldn't even read how high his blood sugar was. So they put him on all those things, and they sent his blood to the lab, and his reading was 580, and then at 9 the family care center closed and they had to transfer him to the ER, for like the seventh time in his life, and then they said that he had type 1 diabetes (the bad one) because his pancreas shut down. So they had to admit him to the hospital for the first time in his life (my mom says) so they could care for him.

The doctor said that they don't know why, but sometimes pancreases just shut down and stop working. Armondo says that stress causes your pancreas to work on overtime, pumping adrenilin and insolin, and the doctor asked if Benji had been under stress recently, and she said not more than usual, which is true, because Benji's been understress his whole life. He's always been afraid of everything. When we were todlers he needed me to go into the livingroom and the playroom, and he needed to take me everywhere because he was scared. And even now he's afraid of everything. So I guess 17 years of your pancreas working overtime is just too much for it to handle.

And it was sad because there was no way we could tell, even though he had all the symptoms. There were too many coincidences. He started working out to lose weight, and he lost 40 lbs in two months, and he drank a lot of water because he was working out, and he kept urinating because he drank a lot of water. And his mouth was always dry because the heater was on in the night, and he slept with his mouth open. But it turns out that he was losing weight because his body muscle was starving and deteriorating, and he kept urinating because there was a poison in his blood created because there was too much sugar, and his body was trying to clear it out, and THAT'S why he was drinking so much water, not the other way around.

We thought he was just losing weight from exercise.

They got his blood sugar down to 138 now, and they want it down to 120, but he's getting there. He was probably incredibly close to a diabetic coma, because he had a giant fast food burrito for breakfast, with oranges, and I'm sure he had soda at home, and for dinner he had Carl's Jr. Just imagine how much sugar that is. All in his blood stream. It's scary, because all of my dad's family has diabetes except one sister. What if my pancreas just shuts down? I'm scared. I don't know what to do. Tomorrow all of the decatheletes are gonna be here, after just seeing him and hearing him complain that he had diabetes, and telling him that he didn't, and then him being in the hospital for it. I'm gonna have to tell them as they come one by one....

Man, last night, I wanted to call anyone so bad, but it was already 10:30 before I realized that I could, and then I couldn'... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11472834/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11472834/ Wed, 17 Jan 2007 17:01:42 PST haha, maybe.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11472641/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11472641/ Wed, 17 Jan 2007 16:24:28 PST LEZ GOT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECTED!!!!! hahahaa man! It was hilarious. haha, I got rejected Serious. haha, it was a great experience and I don't think I would have liked it any other way. haha, 'cuz I'm at this point in my life where I've given up pretty much, haha, yeah, so now I'm looking desperately ( I GUESS, haha, I'm still very very picky) for my Sr. Prom date haha, yeah, so I'm doing trials and stuff, aaaand anyway, I've been looking around, and I decided to ask my good pal (HAAAAAAAAA hahah) Sven to Homecoming (aaaahahah, spur of hte moment decision) and he didn't know what I was talking about, 'cuz he's stupid, and then his friends (my friends) are like, "Dude, Lezbo's asking you to homecoming" and OMG his reaction was priceless. haaaahahah, it was great, 'cuz he's freaking scared of me, like, in a freaked out way, and so he was like "Nooooooooooooo" hahah, but he's a mute, so he just mouthed it, and he looked soooo scared. XD aaaaah it was great. hahah, I think that was the highlight of my week, and the week just started. Man it was awesome. My first REJECTION and it was by Sven. Wow. I'm proud. haha

Yeah, so my classes are so so, and I'm kinda scared about Loewen's, 'cuz there were three Winter Break projects, and I didn't know about the third one T_T and it was some LOOOOONG ass one, that would've taken me the whole weekT_T In other classes though, things are going fine. haha, I'm excited about Valegrams, haha, 'cuz I'm scheming something amazing with Hannah XD we have it all planned out, 'cuz we had lots of time to think during the Wake-a-thon. Yeah, haha I thought of the BEST way to end an annonymous creepy Vallogram

"Love,
Me
...please."

hahah, aaaaaaaahhaha, I like it yeah, so I'm excited aboooout that, but I'm not excited about the Final for Vu, or Mr. Nakata's leaving Or that Megan stole my Jaime, or that we have AP tests soon... and I can't sing or remember l'Histoire. =/ haha, I'm actually more afraid of the sight singing part of my AP carrier than any other aspect. Hmmm, well, in lighter news, um, I had some really NICE dreams <3 haha, um, one was that Brooke came back, and Tien was wearing this thing, and the VERY next day, Tien was wearing the EXACT same outfit! haha, also in the dream, Mr. Nakata was getting arrested, and the next day, he wasn't there! haha, and THEN, yesterday, I had one of the best dreams ever about Ricardo, who I believe has never been named before in any previous journal entry, but so it is with many who are important to me, aaaaand then TODAY, not only was I acknowledged and presented in like ONE of his sentences, but I saw him afterschool. haha, I didn't know he was there though, and I was doing my usual weird stuff when Hannah told meT_T haha, I think she said it LOUD too, 'cuz when I turned, he was already looking at meT_T haha, or maybe that was due to my akward behavior^^' Yeaaaahh...

But yeah, there's some other BIG news stuff that I'm going over in my head... INDEFINATELY, but unless something happens with it.... tomorrow, I won't spill those beans. haha HA like any. one. CARes. haha until tomorri. So yeah, toodaloo people (or no one, depding on my perception) and au'revoire!

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11141130/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11141130/ Thu, 21 Dec 2006 16:50:02 PST About the liveliest person that I
Ever knew

Jaime is an Asian kid who loves
To talk and laugh;
He never stops talking about Maple
Unless it’s time to take a nap.

He has the sense of humor of a
Five year old
Which WOULD be kinda annoying
‘Cept that he laughs at all his jokes!

He really is a great person
To have around;
Every day he’s sure to turn
Your frown upside-down!

He’s sure also to make a joke
Of everything you say.
They’re not always funny
But he tries anyway.

In conclusion he is quite
The Asian kid
When you want one white-washed
And full of it!

So now you know all about
The Jaime I know,
Oh! And he has a sister that’s
So cute I could choke!

She’s so cute, I could choke! Ole!"


That's my Christmas Song for Jaime 2006. I made it over the weekend, 'cuz he was supposed to make me a song, and I knew he wouldn't, so I decided to make him one instead. I like it. We sang it to him today after sixth, and there were SO many people! It was funny. I told Hannah to come, and when she came, she brought Derek and Benji, and Kathy was my singing partner, and she had two friends waiting for her, and I brought along Ana 'cuz I always walk with her, and then seeing the large commotion, like four other girls came over, and so Kathy, Hannah, and I performed in front of a large, maily Asian audience, which was rather fun. As you can probably tell, the lyrics are meant to be humorous, so we laughed as we got the funnier parts, and he laughed a lot at the really funny parts... like white-washed X) So he enjoyed it, and he gave me and Kathy a big hug to show his appreciation. =]

So yeah, today was pleasant, I could vividly descrinbe, as is my usual, but instead, I'm going to try an overview^^' Let's see how this works out.

I had a biology presentation. I didn't know anything. I didn't make the presentation. I woke up knowing I would let my partner, Elaine, down. haha I really did ABSOLUTELY nothing, and so I had NO idea how we were going to do a presenation on Down Syndrome with NOTHING, but she knew everything, so I wasn't too worried.

I did ok on Vu's essay. I only had two body paragraphs because of time constraints and no outline, but I think I got at least a 5 or 6. Not a 7 because I had no additional doc. But I mean last time I got a 7 with no additional doc, so maybe it can happen again.

I gave people their stuffed animals and cookies. I gave Eli his gift, he said he'd give me mine later. I told Sven I'd give him cookies. I made two secret handshakes with Sven. I tried to give Pedro cookies, but I ran out, and I snuck Sven one out of another person's gift. I went to third for like five minutes. We're having a band wake-a-thon. I got a lotta chocolate from that class.

Fifth we watched a movie and Elaine told me about Down Syndrome and gave me research papers. Aaaand in sixth.....

"Elisaphase, we have a picture of you in our presentation."

"................why.......? 80"

"It's that picture of you with the Lollicups."

"WHY!?!? 8("

"We took the most embarassing pictures of everyphase and put them in the end of it for Nakataosis."

".............WHY!?! *throwseraser*"

Omg. They had a picture of me in their presenation, Megan and Ana did, and to make it worse, it was that damned Lollicup picture I love because it's so stupid.... why'd they pick a stupid ugly picture of me!? X( ooooh well, it was only on the screen for like half a second, 'cuz Ana didn't wanna embarass me mmmmhmm.... yeah, and after I finished singing the Jaime song, Megan had us all take pictures with Mr. Nakata, which was fun, 'cuz he's such an awesome teacher. Better than Vu even Yeah, and I ended up not having to do the presentation Because Mr. Nakata's nice, and told me to hold off until the end because I didn't have a real presentation, and then if we ran out of time, I could do it when we get back.

Yeah, so here's the downlow on my gifts:
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail ~Curtis
-Raindeer dollie ~Jenny
-Candy ~Kathy, Elaine, and others
-Bear ~Yuanjian
-Song... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11130278/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11130278/ Wed, 20 Dec 2006 17:16:49 PST
A little before then, in third period, towards the end every day since last Thursday I've said, "aaaaaaaaah, my challange is in ten minutes! wah wah wah I'm gonna lose *sobshiver*" yeah, but today it was SOOOOO much worse. It's actually been getting worse each day because of the anticipation I guess, but today I knew FOR SUUUURE that it was gonna happen, because the day before, Andy'd REALLY brought it up, at the beginning of class like he was supposedc to, but luckily for me, Massaro wasn't paying attention, but Andy complained at the end, and I could tell he would MAKE Massaro pay attention and mean businnes today (tomorrow back then), AND I'd been having one of those energized days, probably since in the morning I could feel the cells inside my hand burst as their cytoplasm froze and expanded, and so I was really energized nervous, so I was shaking all over like I was freaking going to be launched out of a plane to fight the Koreans or something, that's how freaked out I was, I was almost crying, and then the bell rang

and it was like it was alll WAY too real, I was all in shocked denial like, "omg it's gonna be right now, omg my challenge is in seven minutes, omg I'm actually going to do it, omg seven minutes, right now is my challenge" it was a crazy experience, it was just SOOOOOOOO hard for me to believe. And then, FOURTH PERIOD, I got there "OMG*sob*eeeeeeeeeehhuhuhh Eli Eli Eli Eli I'm gonna lose I'm gonna lose I'm gonna lose eeeeeeeeeehuhuhuhh *sobsobsob* Eliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii," then Eli doens't respond to that and says, "Man I want someone to challenge me" (which was directed at me, of course, not only because he was talking to me, but I'm the ONLY PERSON IN BAND that can challeng him, so I was clearly that someone, but he didn't emphasize it at all like he was hinting anything.....maybe 'cuz he was kinda flat out telling me [again]) yeah and then I went on sobbing, and Hannah tried to cheer me up wiht my little stuffed bear from Yuanjian, and I tried to cheer myself up by playing hand games with Hannah and Eli, who wouldn't play, so I guess I didn't cheer myself up by playing hand games with ELI, but I TRIED, so I guess it's still true, and there was another challenge that day between

Claudia and José, and as they were playing, I was listening and thinking about them and doing as I should as an aujudicator and deciding which one was better, and after they finished, I was thinking of things I should do in there and work on so that when I get challenged, whenever that may be, whenever that day comes, in a while, sometime eventually, I'll be ready, and then Massaro's like "Ok next," and I'm like OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 'cuz I'd completely forgotten about MY challenge after them, the who time thinking again that it was some far off thing not even close to me or being real, and I was soooo shocked I almost cried, and I started shaking again, and actually I'm shaking right now just thinking about it

and I went in there ready to fall onto the ground and sob some more, and I was actually going to hide in the storage room, but Massaro was looking at me just as I started for THAT door, so yeah, Andy and I were in there, and we got a chair from Mr. Lopez, and Andy brought a stand, and I was just like, "Wow, so this is it, this is it, this is it, wow, wow, wow, this is it," but in my head, and Andy's like, "Ok, you can go first," and by that time Massaro had already left us, I mean, he was like, "Ok you guys know how this works?" and then he walked out before we could answer, leaving us unknowing (and I could tell it was a question too, it wasn't a statement) yeah so I got out my music and played it, virtually perfect note-wise and articulation-wise, except for one studid not-comie-outie low note, and the dynamic interpretation was shitty, but no one even knows what the dynamics are supposed to sound like, and for all they know there aren't any.

So then, Andy comes and sits down, and Massaro's like, "Ok, person number two," and Andy waits like freaking twenty seconds just sitting there before he starts playing, and when he does, at first I'm like, "Ho......li........sheit....." 'cuz he played it SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much faster than I did, and in a COMPLETELY different style, with completely different articulation, and honestly, his sucked ass because it wasn't even close to what style the paper wanted, but no one on the outside knows what the paper wants, and the only reason I know I should have beaten him then and there was because he kept skipping notes (it was obvious to everyone he messed up, it wasn't one of t... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11056233/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11056233/ Wed, 13 Dec 2006 21:09:31 PST
]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11017351/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/11017351/ Sun, 10 Dec 2006 12:48:36 PST
hahah yeah, yesterday was the Speech and Debate competition at Arroyo, the one and only of the year, and it was pretty fun. Millie and Gabs' duo was amazing, and I had a lot of fun with my duo with Ana, and imp was ok, and it was pretty cool. =] We got to see a bunch of really well-done pieces by, of course, Gabriallino and Arcadia >=/ And Arcadia completely killed our competition before the finals postings with their dancing. Last year was awesome because we all got in a giant mosh pit dance off thing, but no, Arcadia has to go and do what they ALWAYS do at all the competitions, and get in their chanting circle and chant for freaking twenty minutes while WE'RE trying to enjoy the music. Yeah, and Ben Wang was there to judge, scandalize, and entertain all around. haha it's NEVER a good idea to let Ben Wang judge... if it's your round. He either gives it to the pretty girl, the the guy with the best suit, or doesn't listen at all and does it randomly, or, as he did yesterday, gives all the best people in the round last, knocking them out of the finals for sure.

aah it's pretty funny because the best people in EVERY round are ALWAYS Gabriallino, and that's not very fair because they're not tallented, they were trained in how to TALK, which is really stupid, so you can ALWAYS without a doubt, spot out a Gabriallino person in a round, because they AAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL and I stress that ALL again, AAAALLLLLLL sound EXACTLY EXACLTLY EXACTLY the same. That's not talent. Their coaches took away everything they know about speaking, and taught them a completely new uniform way and burned it into their brain. The exact same facial expressions, hand guestures, diction, and pause-for-effect placement. EXACTLY THE SAME. And the judges love it, because you usually only see one or two in a round, and they stick out because they're so "well spoken" and they don't realize that EVERYONE from their school speaks that way during competition, and they always get first. It really irks me if you can't tell.

But Ben knocked a good four or so of them out of the finals. So yay for ruining the robots' chances for finals. Yeah, and it was funny, because I was still mad since the last time I saw him, and Millie was talking about some guy the day before that had pushed her into her desk at school, and Chris was like, "What a dick" and Ben Wang was walking up, and I was like, "Speaking of, here's Ben Wang =]" haha and then he was like, "You know I heard you right?" and I was like, "Yeah, that's why I said it," and then he was like, "Yeah, I dunno, but as soon as I heard it, something went off in my head that said, 'Bitch....'" hahahah it was awesome though, 'cuz he walked up to me later and asked me where Benji was, and I didn't know, and then he was like, "DAMNIT why aren't you Benji!? I'm gonna have a hernia if I keep this in, I gotta tell him something," and I was like, "I am Benji, I mean, if you squint hard enough," haha, and then he squinted and said it wasn't good enough. Aaaaaaaaaand then of course, as is tradition, we sang Bohemian Rhapsody, but Benji wasn't there, so it was just me and Ben, and it was so funny, because like there were just three people from our school around us, and they just stood there looking at us for the whole song, and they kept being like, "Ben, stop it! Stooooooop, when is it gonnna end? Stop," but they told me they were fine with me singing it, just not him. haha it was so fun though. And before that, Chris and Nelson had assembled Arroyo in a tiny little pathetic compact circle, and Nelson was on his knees, and he gave us this GREAT speech with his Troy voice that I'd missed so much throughout the competition, because it just wasn't the same without Troy =[, but at last I got to hear it (even though freaking John wasn't there) and he changed one of his Troy speeches to fit us and the competition, and so we all at the end screamed out "ARROYO!!!!!!, SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCHHH!!!!!" haha it was cool. But Leo Club didn't join in, they just kinda looked at us, except for two who used to be in Speech. Yeah, and I saw Yuanjian and Curtis there, which they didn't tell me before hand I was going to do >=/ haha and Curtis didn't say anything to me, he just looked at me when I tried to talk to him, so I walked away to talk to other people.

Yuuup, and then when Final Postings were up, and the ENTIRE competition RAN to the cafeteria wall (it was a huge crowd of frenzy), and none of us made it, as we usually fair, we all headed back to room 80 and stayed in there for a good two hours or so? I dunno, we played cards, and truth or dare, and we drew on the board, and then Hai-Vu came in and ragged on us for not going to the awards ceremony, so we all had to leave the room and watch, and then the competition was over, but we all headed back to room 80 anyway and stayed there until the janitors kicked us out, whic... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10977947/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10977947/ Wed, 06 Dec 2006 21:52:50 PST
It's weird though, because I've been sad for no reason for the past two days, and today, I actually had a reason to be sad, and I was actually pretty happy. Things taht otherwise would have ruined my day (hell, my week) I got over in about fifteen minutes. I feel....ok. I dunno. I'mma tell you about my day. It all started....

With a good start! haha maybe that's why I was able to get through it, cuz I started out happy and uncalledforly confident. I got to walk to school with my good friend Kathy, who, AMAZINGLY has lived across the street from me for the past ten years! But I just found out yesterday, so yeah. I told her to leave her house EXACTLY 18 mintues later than she usually does, and lo and behold, JUST as I walked out the door, I see Kathy crossing to my side of the street. It was cool, well, no, it was freezing cold, but I was wearing like eighteen layers (2 longsleeve, 3 shortsleeve, + warm sweatshirt) (and I woke up late, which would usually be another reason for a bad day) but before that even, I'd had a good morning conversation with my dear friend Mona, who I've lived with for ten years. So Kathy and I got to school, and I went to zero period to....

Take a very long test on two chapters of the history book I'd purposefully not studied for (I'm tired as of late). So I studied right quick off of Kathy's notes (Hannah too. Hell, everyone in our little bubble studied off of her notes.) Yeah, and so I FLUNKED taht test. I mean, I always fail his tests, but taht was a straight up flunk. I dunno, it was pretty funny to me, so I wasn't too down. Yeah, then on my way to second, Jason told me that they were planning to have a sax quartet (without me, of course), but in first period...

I had a sub, thank god, again instead of Mr. Wit. (he's been out three days, and our test keeps getting pushed back), and the sub had the wrong lesson plan, so we WERE going to do nothing for the day... until he "realized" (Tien accidentally told him) that it WASN'T Tuesday, and he gave us our test. Now, I'm pretty good at math, but I got scared. I didn't think I needed to study, so I didn't (I didn't even look up what the chapter encompassed), but half way through the test, I realized I'd forgotten how to work with imaginary numbers. FORTUNATELY, the problems involving them were REALLY REALLY easy, and I did well. Then I remembered how to do all the rest, and fortunately again I was being reasonable that day and checked my answers... because there were a good SIX stupid mistakes in there, out of like twenty, but I fixed them really easily, so I was feeling confident. Then I went to my next class....

And the rest isn't important until fourth period, so I'll take of from there. This class.... THIS class almost made me cry. It was a fine regular old day, where Massaro wasted away the period talking about flaot decorating, and then he told us to check our sign-ups, while some people were paying fair-share or turning in their uniforms, so there was chaos everywhere. But I just sat in my seat. And Massaro calls from his office as he leaves it, "Elisabeth, Madame Perez!" and then he points to the office, so I think he wants me to pay fairshare, cuz I mean, he doesn't need to see me, he just left! So I go in there, and I walk up to Mr. Lopez, ready to say, "I don't have money with me right now, later," when....

Massaro walks in and he says, "Ok, Elisabeth, you're," and then I turn around and I see Andy walking in behind him, as Massaro's still motioning him in, and I instantly know, and I wanna cry, "having... uh... you guys are gonna have a challenge in this class..... on the closer...... you play first right?" and this whole time, I'm looking at Andy with that look like "How COULD you?! I'm gonna cry..." and I really was gonna cry. If I didn't make that face, and I'd tried to play it cool like I didn't care, I know I would have cried, but that face helped me vent it out a little. But then I told Massaro, "No," and then he looks at me, and then at Andy like, "What's wrong with you?" and he says, "Well... lemme see if the parts are the same.... no.....not really, well you have to play the same parts," then Andy, "I don't care," then Massaro, "well we can't just give her the first part when you've had it this whole time, that's not fair to her... You guys'll have to play a new piece, ok? I'll get one for you for tomorrow, ok?" Now get the hell outta my office! haha, nah he didn't say that last part, but he should have. Yeah, so....

As we were leaving the office, I said, "How COULD you!? You PROMMISSED you wouldn't!" (even thought that was a while ago), and he said, "Pshh I don't care!" and you should have seen him. Hell, heard him even! He was dead serious. I'm serious, he didn't care at all, and what's more, he was MAD when he said it, like I'd killed his brother or something. Like I'd commited some horrible crime that he... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10938430/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10938430/ Sun, 03 Dec 2006 15:39:59 PST
Eli-sabeth-Ng: Calendar Edition

Which is a series of twelves Oekaki Paint interpretations of the members of the brotherhood separate or together. It was pretty fun. And they vary in style because I did them at different intervals. (haha, especially how I turned out in a coulple of 'em) Yeah, so I won't go into too much description here, but I had a lot of fun with them. And virtually all of the poses were either Andy's idea, or what I saw during my half day, or for the rest of marching band, 'cuz I can time warp, bitches. So yes, in conclusion, fun fun fun, I really really really miss my brotherhood =[ Andy and I are at eachother's throats now, no more fun between any of us really. Concert band brought a close to our little group thing, even after I was kicked out of the brotherhood. =[ But here's one (or twelve) for the memories. =]

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10839210/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10839210/ Fri, 24 Nov 2006 21:10:02 PST aaaaaaah, I'm on fire. Man, talking at Eli's depressing. MAN, I'm depressed now. I gotta find Brooke. She can't leave. I know Imma be sad if she does. Music is sad. I often find myself wondering what happpened to the Allan Xu of yesteryear =[. I feel bad.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10782177/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10782177/ Sun, 19 Nov 2006 19:56:31 PST I went to the mall today. ALL day. GET ON THE DOUBLE DUTCH BUS! haha, I'm listening to that right now, it's like my favorite song :3 haha yeah, but I spent like 150 dollars at the mall :0 haha it's not like I'd spend it anywhere else though, and all it does is gather dust in my cupboard. So yeah, I put my money to good use and bought a CRAP LOAD of nice shirts 'Cuz Wet Seal has great deals 8D yeah, and Hannah and I literally spent ALL DAY there. Biggest waste of time ever? Maybe. But we saw a bunch of people from school there. First we saw the Drum Captain applying for a job at Crispy Cones, then we were walking to get soda, and we passed by this exercise place, and Hannah was explaining to me how all the little kids loved to ride this thing that was like one of those bull riding machines, but for women to burn fat, and I was like, "I see" 'cuz there was some two year old on one, and then she was like, "Eli." and I was like, "what the hell?" 'cuz I looked over and on the machine adjacent to the little kid was Eli riding one! hahah, it was a great contrast, especially since he came out of no where, and so I was like, "Hey look! It's Eli! And Jaime!... And Kathy!" and then Hannah was like, "What the hell Jonathon Deip?" and I was like, "Whaaat!?" and then the guy two inches in front of us turned around the be Jonathon Deip. It was crazy. hahah Eli was enjoying that ride too much :0 hahah then we saw Olivia in Windsor, or whatever, but she didn't see me and I was waiting for her to wave, but Julia waved at me, and I didn't even see her, so it was like a chain of dissappointment. haha yeah, but I tried on a little tutu-like fancy dress, in my Converse, and it was awesome and Hannah and I went into my favorite store: Bath and Body Works, because it says "Try" on EVERYTHING! haha so you can give yourself a complete makeover in there for free. So I spend about an hour in there "Trying" everything, even the ones I can't read 'cuz the product description is in French. For I know it's soap, but I rubbed everything in like lotion. It was awesome. haha it's stupid though, even the bath salts, shampoo, and EYE medication, say "Try" on it and the nail polish of course XP haha Last time I did my nails and put conditioner in my hair. This time I put a crap load of lotion on and gave my face a makeover. It was fun I used a good sixteen dollars worth of merchandise, FOR FREE! I love it. Yeah, but it was awesome. So in conclusion, fun fun fun. See you tomorrow! And see Brooke soon <3

THE DOUBLE DUTCH BUS!!!!!

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10738484/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10738484/ Wed, 15 Nov 2006 19:55:43 PST Il est un garcon tres "weird." "Il "PMS's" suivent, et il est mailleur. Crazy. I can't write French for crap. Je ne "know" pas "what to do." Aussi, j'ai l'examen d'Histoire heir, et je peux etudier tres tres tres beaucoup. Je ne "read" pas les "chapters" sur l'exemen. Je suis "screwed." Eli "hates" moi.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10427593/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10427593/ Tue, 17 Oct 2006 19:36:16 PDT I'm doing OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKK kinda. I'm feeling better right now. So, I'm just gonna tell you what's new, and what I'm thinking and blah blah blah. So, first of all

I had my first field show of the year on Saturday! 8D It blew chunks 80 hahah it was the absolute WORST field show I've EVER been in. It was worse than my first field show last year. WAY worseT_T I swear to freaking God. The seconds in my section just DON'T GET IT!T_T This time last year, when I was a freshmen, I memorized my music, marched in step, stood up straight, and played as loud as I could even when I was out of breath. AND I knew all of my sets. And I was the worst freshman last year. Honestly, I'm not lying. I was the worst. But hell, apparently I got all stressed out for nothing because I didn't even know the MEANING of sucky until now. I mean DAAAAAMN. It's pissing me off. Because only one freshman can do everything I could, and that's Eli. He's freaking smart as hell too, one of those really gifted kids. He's about where Jason was last year, just a little better than I was. And then, after him, are the rest of them, who are about a good ten times worse. Eli has his music down, he can march in step, and he plays fairly loudly. The others can't even stand up straight and play with the proper techniqueT_T It's...... pathetic, really. They've been playing for at least two years, and been in OUR band for four months, and they can't do anythingT_T Oh well, I'm done ranting about that>_>

Anyway, this is more boring stuff about band right now, I want to switch to French Horn, because ever since I saw one I wanted to play it. The thing is though, I love my section so much We're like a big happy family <3 It's fun. Actually, it's more like a gang of punks who don't accept many into their sect. It's still fun though <3 I'm barely accepted, as is Vivian, and the seconds besides Eli are all picked on, and all we do is laugh at eachother and say hateful things as jokes, and I highly doubt they'll miss me if I leave, but I know I'll miss them <3 They're so funny. Yesterday, I didn't have pockets, so I was like "Hey, Eli, can you put this in your pant's pocket for me?" and then Rudy said from behind (completely removed) "Wow, Elisabeth, ya'lil' straight forward there, ar'nchya?" hahahehehemehehe, yeah... You probably don't get it because it was tonal humor, and this is typed, and you kinda had to be there and know me and probably Eli, but it was hilarious XD huuhhhh yeah, and we have fun cadance dances, and we put movements to all of our pep tunes, and yeah. It's fun being a part of it. And plus, I want to be section leader some day, and plusser, I'm already good at the saxophone, and plusserER, I really don't want to be in a section with Julie, Tina, and Elaine. REALLY. But I wanna play it so bad! X(

Buuuuuuut yeah, other than that, my classes go like this in order of funness.
1.) Mr. Vuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
2.) Biology wif Jaime and Elaine (a different one)
3.) Music theory/French/Algebra 2 (because I like talking to people next to me)
4.) Band
10.) Mr. Loooooeewweeeeeeeeennnn >:[ I hate that class.

hahah Mr. Vu's still a virgin XD he likes being a loser though^_^

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10220439/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10220439/ Thu, 28 Sep 2006 21:47:54 PDT I'm so..... euhuh.... Yesterday SURELY goes down as one of the worst days of the year, and it just started offT_T* I feel so sucky right now. I found out that I was right and not crazy and obsessive and self concerned; they really do treat me like they dislike my presence I feel completely worthless around them (again) and it's hard to imagine how I ever stopped feeling like thatT_T -sigh- So yeah, I'm not going to go into detail, because I lack the energy now** but I couldn't take it anymore, and I just burst into tears yesterday as soon as I'd taken one step towards my room. That's how upset I was. In fact, I'd kept it in for AN HOUR AND A HALF. Yeah, with that lump in my throat and the water in my eyes, but no one even noticed (and I wasn't talked to, so they couldn't hear my shaky cracking voice). Euhuhuhuuhuhuhuh, I'm so miserable it's not even funny. Two weeks into school and I've already come full circle...


*In regards to the school year. I highlight the worst days in my agenda, which get increasingly worse, making each one the worst of my life.

**I just got back from Band Practice (it's 9:45pm), yesterday I was at the LA County Fair until 10:00pm, and every day I have to wake up at 5:00am to get to school.

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10195357/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10195357/ Tue, 26 Sep 2006 16:54:04 PDT
-The Pigman (Zandel)

-The Good Earth (Buck)

-To Kill a Mockingbird (Lee)

-The Martian Chronicles (Bradburry)

-Animal Farm (Orwell)

And there are others, but those are the ones I think you guys'd enjoy most. And here's the list of books to buy for this sophmore year...

Old Man and the Sea, The

Julius Ceasar

Antigone

Heart of Darkness, The

Cry, the Beloved Country

Tale of Two Cities, A

And I'm also looking into reading Catch 22, Catcher in the Rye, East of Eaden, and all the other books my brother's read....

Just so you know^_^

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10167578/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10167578/ Sun, 24 Sep 2006 00:03:17 PDT
[link]


In other news,

HOLY EFFERZ JONH PHAM IS D'ASIAN KIANAU REEVES!!!!! 80

]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10072310/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10072310/ Thu, 14 Sep 2006 16:19:48 PDT

If I had my way,
I'd never get over you....

I just wanna cry
In front of you...
'Cuz I'm in love with you...

And I miss
Your laugh
Your smile...

And I'll take
You back
If you'll have me...

You're the only one I'd
Be with 'till the end;
When I come undone,
You bring me back again...

And I don't want to
Fall to pieces,
I just wanna sit
And stare at you...

I can tell you
My love for you
Will still be strong...

Come on let me
Hold you
Touch you
Feel you
Always

Kiss you
Taste you
All night
Always

'Cuz I'm in love with you...
I'm in love with you... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10023040/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/10023040/ Sat, 09 Sep 2006 20:11:28 PDT -Black ftw

2. What's your middle name?:
-Kathleen

3. What are your parents first names?:
-Kathleen and Joseph-Benjamin X)

4. If you had the choice of either vanilla or chocolate ice cream which would you decide upon?:
-vanilla's too plain, and chocolate's too strong......WATER! XD

5. What's the third letter in your first name?:
-*pondersforamillenia* I! 8D

6. Have you ever gone scuba diving?:
-NEVER!!!!!! hahah and I never will 80 I don't wanna be stabbed in the heartT_T I didn't even know mother nature MADE weaponsT_T

7. Which do you prefer? Dogs or cats?:
-KITTIES! <3.........I.........I don't GET dogs :/ they don't make sense to me.

8. Who was your first love?:
-MUMUMUMEMBULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *sobs*

9. Are you single?:
-NEVER!!!!!! haha yes

10. If no- who's the lucky person? if yes- who's your dream date?:
-I don't DATE! hahah nah, I don't have a specific type of guy I like....just one who makes me happy....


11. Stripes or poka dots?:
-FREAKING STRIPES ARE DELISHIOUS!!!!!

12. What's your favourite genre of music?:
-Bitch music

13. What's your favourite number?:
-hahah I don't have one....but I generally say 7, 10, 42, or 72...

14. What song (if any) are you listening to currently?:
-I WAS listening to Fall to Pieces by Avril Lavrine

15. Have you ever wished you could fly?:
-All the time! I want REAL wings....that are RETRACTABLE and have to RIP through EVER FIBER OF MY SKIN TO REACH THE SURFACE!!!!! muahahah! and then I'd have to keep them a secret, and retract them after every time I use them.......and I'd heal afterwards and go through the pain all over again......like Wolverine from X-men.............

16. Do you believe in ghosts?:
-nah, though it is a Mexican thing

17. If you could be a mythical animal what animal would you be?:
-CHIMERA hahah nah, I'd be a........Centaur?

18. Who's your idol?:
-My idol is......Sheguru Miyamoto (?)

19. Name one person you love:
-BROOKESTUHHHHHHH!!!!!! <3

20. Name one person you hate:
-..................... ............... hmmmm............ I can't think of one^^'' I'm much more passive than I once was. I don't get too passionate about anyone.....I guess. I pretty much have hated EVERYONE I've loved....'cuz ya know..............there's a thin line between love and hate.

21. What colour hair do you have?:
-Brune

22. Who tagged you to do this quiz?:
-Ashura SK.............kinda

23. So far, what do you think of this quiz?:
-nicezorz

24. When was the last time you cried from emotional pain?:
-umm....I dunno actually. Most of the time I can't even tell when I'm crying anymore. It's just a natural reaction to everything.

25. When was the last time you cried from pyhsical pain?:
-hahah about an hour ago....I don't know if it qualifies as "crying" though, because my eyes leak REALLY easily, and so I only get that lump in my throat from emotional pain, but when I'm barely pinched my eyes'll get more watery and leak after a while.

26. Are you a perfectionist?:
-Not really^^ Have you SEEN my deviations^^'

27. Do you care about your school grades?:
-Of course

28. When did you last go outside?:
-hahah today

29. When was the last time you received a letter?:
-hmm.....about a month or three ago^^'

30. Do you enjoy sports?:
-yes!

31. What is/was your favourite lesson at school?:
-Subject=Science, lesson/class=band/music theory AP

32. Have you ever tried eating a snail?:
-no.... that's so gross.....

33. Have you ever been on a diet?:
-technically EVERYONE's on a diet, but yes I'm constantly worrying and consious of what I eat.........which is also why I'm skinny.....I don't have some freakishly high motabolism......hell, with the minimal activity I do, I probably have a moderately slow motabolism.....I just don't eat^^' hahah I probably AM anarexic.

34. Have you ever smoked?:
-Secondhand

35. Who (if anyone) are you talking to now?:
-my self in public, making friends with shadows on my wall (from a song)

36. Are you eating anything currently?:
-never

37. What do you think of your life so far?:
-absolutely worthless

38. Have you ever been to a wedding?:
-twice

39. Which month is your favourite?:
-month, eh? Well.....I hate the Winter.........but just today I remembered how I missed those January or some other mont... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/9968511/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/9968511/ Mon, 04 Sep 2006 18:04:13 PDT No longer will I sit behind Jaime....... no longer will I sit behind Toto.....no longer will Bone-bag be in full view during 2nd period. Man....but the worst of all is that I probably won't have my Derek over everyday like I used to Our friendship isn't as strong as it was before. Plus, my friend Azariah might move and it sucks..... I miss last year.... kinda. I'm really not looking forward to Speech at all this year, but I am looking forward to the other clubs/teams I'm joining. But yeah, atleast I get FOUR CLASSES wif mah Jenny Lam numero dos. :/ That should be cool. But I'm really not looking forward to most of it T_T All my funny people are gonna be in regular classes or other tables :l mesh mesh. ]]> ~MasterofRPGs http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/9888955/ http://MasterofRPGs.deviantart.com/journal/9888955/ Mon, 28 Aug 2006 19:30:40 PDT [ ] You go tanning
[ ] You watch The OC/Laguna Beach/The Hills.
[ ] You own a cell phone.
[x] You love going to the mall.
[ ] You take your cellphone everywhere.
[ ] You own an iPod/MP3 player.
[ ] You love Starbucks
[x] You have been called a brat.
Total: 2

*GOTH*
[x] Black is one of your favorite colors. (the!)
[x] You have thought about death. (all the time)
[ ] You wear chains. (too heavy...and expensive....and time consuming)
[x] You like heavy metal. (a little)
[x] You've shopped at Hot Topic. (like. twice)
[x] You have worn black lipstick. (Brooke)
[x] Your hair is dark. (heh, yeah, I'm Mexican)
[x] You dislike preps. (euhuhuh annoyingness....)
[x] You're an atheist. (the one true "religion")
[ ] You have piercings. (nope, but maybe one day...my ears)
Total: 8

*SKATER*
[ ] You can skateboard.
[ ] You wear plaid. (hahha only once to band....too late to get out of pajamas)
[x] You love Converse. (coolest shoes ever)
[ ] You think you're different, just like everyone else. (hahah very few people are different)
[ ] You hate MTV. (don't watch it)
[ ] You have moshed. (wtf?)
[ ] You have/had/want blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair or highlights. (highlights aren't my style)
[x] You love skater/surfer girls/boys (hahaha yeah, they're hot)
[ ] You dislike pink. (I dunno, it's kinda just a color)
[ ] You hate rich kids. (I can't hate them if I don't know them)
Total: 2

*GEEK*
[x] You love computers. (hahah kinda...the internet mostly....and paint)
[ ] You like Star Wars. (eh...no.....)
[x] You were/are supposed to wear glasses.
[x] You get straight A's. (hahah that's more nerdy than geeky)
[ ] You love reading. (euh, grossness)
[x] You are in band. (hahah, geek, wha? It's called 1337NESS)
[x] You don't care what you look like. (pssh, I know I'm hot no matter what! XP nah, it's like, I don't have to look at me, so why should I care? X])
[ ] you have a curfew. (hahah hell no! XP I could/have come home at 1:30 in the morning and my mom doesn't care)
[x] You always do your homework. (in the morning)
[x] You never miss school unless your sick. (or go to school when even when you're sick) [It's a matter of principal]
Total: 7

*EMO*
[x] You are depressed sometimes.... (everyone is)
[ ] You have/had black-rimmed glasses. (ewe, I think those are ugly...unless they're in Animal Crossing)
[ ] You like the band Thursday. (what the hell is that?)
[ ] You cry easily. (not so much easily, but often...if that makes sense)
[x] You like emo music. (it's very pretty)
[ ] You hate being called emo. (eh, I don't really mind being called names)
[ ] You keep a journal/diary. (hahah, no, why would I write on my free time? << >>
[x] You have written a sad poem. (once)
[x]You have/had a sad MySpace layout. (sadness is pretty)
Total: 4

*GHETTO/GANGSTA*
[ ] You like rap. (euh no)
[ ] You are in a gang. (hahahahah flowers)
[ ] You wear rubberbands in your pants. (uh, no, but everyone else does)
[ ] You swear a lot. (hahah, only on occasion)
[x] You have had a freestyling contest. no joke. (fo' sho')
[x] You have said "fo shizzle". (yeah, but mostly fo' sho')
[ ] you have been called a "playa" (hahah who would call me that? I'm a total loser X])
[ ] you have worn Converse with the tongue flipped out. (I have taste)
Total: 3

*SCENE/HARDCORE*
[ ] You sometimes wear a bandana.
[x]You love the Ninja Turtles, etc. (I JUST had a conversation about them)
[ ] You never walk anywhere. (hahah I always walk everywhere!^_^)
[ ] u wear slip-on shoes. (they're not MADE to do that....but I never untie them)
[ ] You love Norma Jean. (I don't know what that is)
[ ] You wear band tees.
[ ]People have called you a freak and meant it. (no, people either don't notice, don't care, or love me....which is a very small category)
[x] You love to "hardcore" dance. (hahha I don't konw what that is, but sure, probably)
[ ] Your hair has been dyed in more than one color. (I've never dyed my hair)
[ ] You will kill if called a satinist.!!!! (nah, I'm VERY passive)
[x] You wear tight jeans. (well....not emo tight....preppy tight)
Total: 3


*Athletic*
[ ] You watch the Superbowl. (comercials)
[ ] You own track shoes or cleats.
[ ] You collect your jerseys. (I don't think people do that)
[x] You have a special shelf for trophy's and awards. (academic)
[ ] You have posters or plaques of famous athle... ]]> ~MasterofRPGs