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[link]

]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/20426017/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/20426017/ Wed, 10 Sep 2008 16:13:48 PDT
So do you ever get curious about the things you were obsessed with as a kid? Yeah. Well. I got curious today about my old dA days. And HA, wow, a lot of you guys are still around! How do you even have time to draw and make amazing art? I'm just... in awe. And I'm jealous. I miss it. A lot. I listen to so much music that makes me want to make beautiful art. I just don't have time for it. I don't even think I remember how I did it. I know I used photoshop? HA. And some POS scanner. I don't remember. I was a loser. I'd like, try so hard to make my pictures look like the popular peoples. This place was a lot like high school.

Anyway, I have fond memories of a TON of people on here.

I can still draw, btw. I love it. I haven't lost the ability. I'd like to think it was all of the improvement I made through this website that gave me the talent. Kinda. Idk. Maye that makes no sense?

Anyway.

I love you? Whoever 'you' are.

btw.
email- dearest_sun_shine@hotmail.com
facebook - [link]rofile

]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/12003339/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/12003339/ Wed, 28 Feb 2007 16:37:10 PST )

But honestly... wow. I saw the comments on my page and went, 'Oh man, I miss these guys.'

You have no idea.

]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/9642409/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/9642409/ Tue, 08 Aug 2006 07:43:38 PDT Uh,... is anyone just a LITTLE freaked out?

I have to say I kind of LIKE it... plus it seems to be moving a lot faster. Which is a definate improvement.

]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/9574607/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/9574607/ Wed, 02 Aug 2006 08:21:50 PDT OKOKOK. Since I switched my contacts list over to my new MSN screen-name/email everyone's been like, "WHO ARE YOU OMG ASLDKFJKLADF?!?1?1"

So basically, here's the deal:
If you were added by dearest_sun_shine...THAT'S ME.


]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/9491548/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/9491548/ Tue, 25 Jul 2006 15:26:20 PDT WOW. I'm pretty sure I don't owe anybody any art as of right now. Foreal. That makes me REALLY happy. Although of course if I'm forgetting someone, just remind me.

And dude. So I've been thinking. Not like I NEED one,... but... I really want a new icon. D: Of course I could attempt to make a good looking icon myself, but... MY ICON SKILLS AREN'T EXACTLY THE BEST. x:

I'm not asking anyone either,... I'm just... dropping a VERY obvious hint. Stfu, I am SO allowed to do that. D:

Anyway. Uhm... school starts on the 24th of August. I'm actually looking FORWARD to it this year, just because summer is WAY too boring for me. Plus I lose all of my motivation during the summer. So I'm quite excited! And that means new stuff. And new folders. Which means new pictures to go ON the new folders. I always love doing those. xD

Hmm,... there is something that I'd like to get done before school starts though. A ref sheet of a new character of mine. Well, he's not NEW, but I just haven't uploaded much of him. And... I still have to work his design through. :3

Matsi, out. <3 ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/9334432/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/9334432/ Mon, 10 Jul 2006 16:07:26 PDT



No, don't lie... the REAL hottie was Bootstrap. Don't try to deny it. ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/7991622/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/7991622/ Wed, 24 May 2006 15:07:40 PDT Okay SERIOUSLY. I haven't been around forEVER. I come to delete my messages and crap, but I've seriously neglected dA. D: School just takes up too much time. But I'm out for the summer so... yay? DUDE. I want another sub. I'MGREEDYSHUTUP.

Let's seeeeee. Uh. Who watches House? IT SUCKED LAST NIGHT. That is all.

And um,... Taylor is going to win. He totally trumped Kat. Sorry. Though I still think Chris should have won. -x-

PS. um, lame question but: to anyone who's on furcadia: I deleted it because it was annoying. But I redownloaded it because I'm bored out of my MIND. And I can't find Order of the Wolf. I think it's been deleted. Either that or it's been moved. OR HIDDEN. I don't know. Somebody PLEASE confirm my thoughts? D: THANKS.

<33 ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/7455989/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/7455989/ Fri, 30 Dec 2005 11:19:15 PST

<sub>HEY FOLKS. ;D

I hope everyone had a totally hot holiday. Because... I got like, tons of giftart and I LOVED every piece. I love you all like, TOO MUCH whoa. <3

Anyway.

To make this journal entry worth while... I've had a myspace for awhile (I KNOW WHAT HAVE I DONE?) and like. I'm a friendwhore. So if you have one, link me to it. So I can friend you. DUH. I don't want to put my link here for the world to see (even though it's probably WAY easy to find it either way.) SO JUST LINK ME.

The end.</sub>

]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/7149728/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/7149728/ Sat, 26 Nov 2005 13:39:46 PST

<sub>First off - I'd love to thank everyone who commented on my last journal. It means a lot to see how much everyone cares. <3

Second? Yes, it's that time of year. And I wasn't really going to do a Christmas list on DA (since I did one on LJ already), but I changed my mind. @xo; Mostly since I don't want much really.

My list?
- giftart ;DD
- a subscription - =Beeejaay bought me one! manymanyMANY hearts to her! <333

UH, YEAH. I didn't lie when I said 'short list'. xD

I hope I'll be able to do some gifts for people. I know I really WANT to. We'll see if I find time. Just know I love all of you so much, and I hope everyone gets what they want this year. <3</sub>

]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/7087373/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/7087373/ Sat, 19 Nov 2005 08:48:55 PST Yes. It's that time of year. Amazingly. SO. YESYESYES. Whoever wants a xmas card from your dear old Matsi, simply note with your name, the holiday you celebrate, and address. <3

Yes, I'm a xmas card whore. I love sending them. I love getting them.

If you want to send me a card, or anything else (HAHA WINK WINK), you may send it to -

Matsi Wolf
P.O. Box 1919
Nixa, Missouri
65714
United States

And let's seeeeee. Um. Yeah. If you've seen my LJ list, you know what I want. Posters and crap. I doubt anyone's interested though, so I won't clog this with the list. xD~ <3

]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/7020663/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/7020663/ Fri, 11 Nov 2005 17:31:50 PST Hi. ;D Look who's writing something.

Life is crazy. <- such an understatement.

And since I'm a selfish pig. I'm going to ask for something for Christmas. 8D

I really really REALLY want this.
If someone like, was feeling rich and generous, I'd praise you forever. And make you loads of graphics/art. Because. They only have 15 adult smalls left. o___o;

I know no one is going to buy it for me, but DUDE. I still felt like announcing that I wanted something. xD

The end.

ps. I'll so upload some art soon. o0o ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6875733/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6875733/ Wed, 26 Oct 2005 17:42:39 PDT Well. I finally uploaded something of value. APPLAUSE.

Sorry I've been so neglective. It's just lots of school stuf + emotional issues have been going on with the Matsi. D:

You see... like. I love someone. I love someone SO much. And it's different than any other love I've felt before. But the thing is, the person will never love me the same way I love them. And it's so hard to understand. Almost impossible to truly get unless you've experienced it yourself. But this person - they're so amazing. they make me want to be a better person. they makes me feel ALIVE. Because it hurts so much. And then it's the opposite sometimes! It feels so GREAT. And then I hit a low again. And somehow... through that... I know I'm alive somehow.

This world is so strange. All I know is before this? I never EVER ever would have thought I could feel this way. My eyes have been opened though. I can understand people more. It's just... amazing.

It's like,... I can almost feel more. I can feel things I never thought a person could feel. Jeeze. If I didn't believe in God before this? I would definately believe in him now - because only God could have made someone so inspiring. So kind. So amazing.

Whoa. I just rambled. Publicly. Oh well. I felt like I should connect with everyone on DA a little more, because I've sort of been distant since school started. D: So there's a glimpse into what's going on with me.

How are all you hot folks? <3 Hopefully great. I'll try to comment more. ;; ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6828759/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6828759/ Fri, 21 Oct 2005 14:35:30 PDT So I DIDN'T upload sketches last weekend. Bad Matsi. ;; BUT LOOK. I DID upload SOMETHING. So ha. It's old. But it's still better than NOTHING.

Ha. I win.

]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6759219/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6759219/ Thu, 13 Oct 2005 16:13:35 PDT yo you sexy folks you. um... I decided I really need to upload something. SO. be expecting a majorly huge sketch dump tomorrow. ;D it's like, big. cause it's everything I've doodled in school. which is 239048234 things. you know... maybe I'll do a huge picture dump too. ;D there's nothing funnier than random high school pictures. SERIOUSLY. they're the funniest things ever. you will giggle. I promise. o0o

I have 500+ in my message center. ;^; Overwhelmed much? And DA takes too damn slow. it's ANNOYING.

anyway. school is hot. I'm like, majorly involved. and it's... hot? HA. today, I was in practice and I buzzed in on this question and was like, "UH. TWO?" And it was right. IT WAS FUNNY CAUSE I WAS CONFUSED BUT GUESSED ANYWAY. The question was really stupid though. I should have known it. and Margaret was high because she's all drugged up since her eye socket is cracked (long story xD) and she was like, "MR ROTH, I LIKE YOUR BUTT." And he's like, the best teacher ever was all, "I'm glad you like it Margaret. It's good you're honest." UM. FUNNY MUCH?

I swear. I've actually found a lot more time to draw lately. o3o Mainly in classes that I do nothing in. But in study hall, I have this beetchy old man this month, and he's like, 'NO DRAWING -pmspmspms-' So I read. But wish I was drawing. HA HA.

I just realized how much info I put in this retarded thing. ;D IF ONLY YOU FOLKS SAW MY LJ. Psh. Half of you do. But still. It's even more pointless.

UH. LOVE YOU. <3 ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6650746/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6650746/ Sat, 01 Oct 2005 11:50:51 PDT Look who's alive! owo; I sort of died there for two months... but I've been lurking and just being busy. With school and stuff. I have like, 230948234 sketches that I should put into a dump, I'm just too lazy to scan them at the moment. xD!; -guilty-

Um, note - if I owe you are (which I know there may be a few people out there that I do); please just be patient. Because I'm like, LOADED with that lovely homework and school pressures and activities and honesty don't have money for any sketchbooks or anything right now. So... yeaaah. D:

AND... and. the whole "art theives/artists being banned oh noes let's all die" issue? Ummm... get over it. Stop being immature. Stop FLAMING KIDS for referencing your art, because we all do it too. NONE of you can say that you've never copied one of your friends'/ favorite artist's work or taken a pose idea or some sort of "reference" from them. We've ALL done it. The only reason we don't spread hate mail all over each other's pages is because we're part of the "upper scale" crowd. I'm actually glad a few people (not naming names but...) got banned even if they were the victim of theft - because they're the ones who couldn't just take care of it kindly, politely and patiently.

ANYWAY. @xo; There are also like TONS of little catfights going on in between certain people, and it's getting annoying. I mean,... people are FLAMING other people over stuff as immature as GUYS. Ummm... hello? And a lot of these people say they're out of high school or what not. THAT'S REAL ADULT OF YOU FOLKS. ;DDD! Let's just spread the hate some more! GET OVER IT. Stop sending hate messages, stop fighting over MEN (because they're not even worth fighting over anyway), and stop acting like junior high pre-teens. It's STUPID. The end.

I'm done. fin. <3 ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6399794/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6399794/ Fri, 02 Sep 2005 18:00:16 PDT ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6214403/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6214403/ Sat, 13 Aug 2005 07:59:38 PDT Mmkay. I know I probably didn't reply to every comment on my last journal, but I want to thank everyone who read, commented and cared. It means the world to me, honestly.

An update on the subject? We're probably going to give Gracie back to her breeder, or just keep her. Yes, my mother (and my sister) will hate her forever and will want nothing to do with her, but then again that's kind of what it was like before.

I'm feeling much better now, and so I felt like spamming people with this sexy quiz I took from ~Kaydee~ <3

FIRSTS

First best friend: Charlie >_>
First car: not yet ;3;
First date: Nick
First real kiss: more Nick o.o
First screen name: stitchsohana
First self purchased CD: DCTalk... I think. o_o
First pets: Fluffy 8D
First piercing/tattoo: when I was nine; my ears
First musician you remember hearing in your house: ... uh, my mom player her guitar? I DON'T KNOW.

LASTS

Last cigarette: nothx
Last car ride: Wednesday maybe? D:
Last kiss: Josh x0x
Last good cry: a few nights ago x:
Last library book checked out: "on my own", some weird diary book thing; my parents MADE me check out a book TT;
Last movie seen: TheIsland
Last beverage drank: water
Last food consumed: eggs? @.o
Last crush: um... xD ~
Last phone call: the lady from the vet asking a bunch of questions that i couldn't answer, i was barely paying attention |D
Last time showered: last night
Last shoes worn: my... tennis shoes? o: or my hot imitation converse
Last cd played: my new mix, yo'
Last item bought: ummm... i can't remember o.o
Last annoyance: random people plaguing me with IMs >>
Last disappointment: it was stupid D:
Last shirt worn: my perfect attendance shirt from Windsor 8D
Last website visited: LJ
Last word you said: errands .0.
Last song you sang: These Words - Natasha Bedingfield

]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6198908/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6198908/ Thu, 11 Aug 2005 14:52:40 PDT Gracie just bit my sister.

For those who don't know - Gracie is our year and half old Chow Chow, who's not spayed and can get aggressive at times, but she's never drawn blood. This time she did.

My mother just took her to the pound. Without even stopping to think or talk about it. I loved that friggin' dog,... and just... dammit. Does anyone know if they put dogs who bite, to sleep? Especially since people are so against dogs of aggressive nature like pit bulls and chows or what not.

My sister has always hated her... I don't think it's fair my mother took her away. My dad loved that dog so friggin' much... and I can only imagine what will happen when he comes home from work.

Fuck. Just... fuck.

edit My mom came back with her since they stopped accepting animals at 4:00. But they said, "Oh no, if she bit your daughter you need to take her to the pound." Or something,... and they close in like, ten minutes. I just know my mom is going to still take her though. Especially after this. ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6075889/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/6075889/ Thu, 04 Aug 2005 20:47:20 PDT edit - my yellow avatar is blinding me. D:

~~
link-
([link])
want info? go here - [link]
To add your name to a support list, `bookdiva has one here - [link]
screens of original commenting thread ($liquisoft)- [link]
more info - [link]
petition - [link]
]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5930674/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5930674/ Sun, 24 Jul 2005 07:11:24 PDT

UM. DA YOU ARE THE DEVIL. They removed, "I hope you need this now..." because of some policy violation. If it was because of the lyrics, then they should remove every other piece in my gallery too since pretty much all of them have lyrics on them. D: Urghz0rz.wdklafd.

~~
Whoaaa. I'm writing this with NO point in mind. Hmm, well you're all well aware that I probably won't be uploading much this fall due to the start of high school, blablabla. Though there probably will be an increase in those ugly, boring sketches I do, since that's all I'll have time for.

Commissions are always open, if you're interested - note me. Trades are closed unless I ask you - or I watched you first/worship you, etc. (as if anyone like that would ask me for a trade anyway ;D)

Um, yeah. I have no clue. o0o Like I said, pointlessness. ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5914814/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5914814/ Tue, 12 Jul 2005 14:26:03 PDT UPDATE YO'. >OO Um, go love on please. That hot new avvy I'm using? Yes, it was made by her.

PSH. Harry Potter: HBP comes out in like, FOUR DAYS. Five. Depending on how you look at it. BUT WTF. Love.

Um. Yeah, I need to upload something don't I? :/ Psh. I've been so lazy these days. What sucks is it won't get better this fall either. TT;

~~
teh kenobi sisters


<3




PSHAH. I'm sure I forgot tonsntonsofyou, but I love all of you. ALL. of you. ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5829330/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5829330/ Sun, 03 Jul 2005 13:15:03 PDT I finally got the digital camera I've been wanting for like,... three years. xDxD;!! ~~ look eet teh Matseh. o0o

lookatyourownRISK
[link]

Annnyway. It's come to my attention that many of you hot folks may be pronouncing my name wrong. D= Ohnoes is right! Matsi rhymes with Nazi. LIKE HITLER. OHMY. ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5685736/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5685736/ Sat, 18 Jun 2005 12:49:28 PDT LIKE HI.

I'm. Um. Alive? I know I know I know I need to upload something, but,... I've been like, art-dead since my computer crashed. For those who don't know - I DID get my files back safe and sound, so I'm happy. 8D I finally got some art-ish inspiration last night so I may upload in the next week, if I don't get too lazy. >O

Iloveyouallverymucheskthx.

~~
teh kenobi sisters


<3




PSHAH. I'm sure I forgot tonsntonsofyou, but I love all of you. ALL. of you. ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5646149/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5646149/ Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:06:18 PDT Chaching! >O Matsi lives!

Actually,... I'm very pissed and angry and just down right now because my computer crashed last week. We got it fixed, and now I have XP on it, but ALAS - the guy who fixed it said he would save my files but NO. They weren't on here when I started it up. Though I just now got a call and he -might- be able to save my art/icons/graphics/screencaps/fonts/music... if he does, he'll be my hero. IF HE DOESN'T - he's Matsi's Satan! DDDD:

I had like, 500 messages over the weekend so... if you had any art/journals you really wanted me to read, just tell me. ;0; I don't exactly have time to look through them all. SO SORRY LOVES ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5513200/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5513200/ Tue, 31 May 2005 17:12:13 PDT Whoa, Matsi is finally getting some work done! >D Congratulate me you fou's.

I want The Island to come out now. >O

This entry is so pointless. >D

I have a ton of personal pictures I want to work on. Tons of gifts. So... yeah. o_o; I'm like, PLAGUED with artstuff.

edit ~~ I have a new AIM screen-name, so whoever wants it, it's 'Wheelchair Of Oz'. <33


]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5457732/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5457732/ Sun, 29 May 2005 17:54:12 PDT Okay, it's been brought to my attention that some of my friends have been feeling left out or ignored,... I want to make it clear that I NEVER ever meant for it to be that way. I love ALL of you,... and I don't know if DA has been eating up some of the comments or things, but I usually try to reply to the comments I get. Sometimes I just don't have time. I get 150+ messages a day and I would LOVE to reply to them all, but I don't always have the time!

And gosh, I am SO aware that I owe people art... but I just moved and just got my scanner hooked up,... and I'm trying to get my commission work done before I do promised gifts and things,... but they WILL be done. I promise you all.

I feel horrible for coming acrost as ignorant,... but that's not it at all. My exboyfriend's parents broke us up two weeks ago and that's not an easy thing to go through. I must MOVED. For the third or fourth time in three years. Two of those times were across three or more states! It's been tough on me,... and I don't want anyone to be mad at me. Please.

I owe {or have promised} art to -
~Falina - sketching
*FoxOfTheNight - sketching
~Kimkat - not started
=DrewTheWolf - not started



The list is longer, but I don't have time to go through my status page now. And you have my word, you WILL get your art.

I love you all and appreciate every single last one of you,... I just wish I could prove it.

]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5393941/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5393941/ Wed, 18 May 2005 16:36:11 PDT STAR WARS III IN LIKE, FIVE HOURS YO'11?!?!?1/1/

GO HUMP A RANDOM JEDI!!!! ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5376020/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5376020/ Mon, 16 May 2005 17:35:47 PDT Matseh's back back back, tell a friend friend friend friend

Whoa. I was like. Only gone for the weekend. o0o Worship the power of technology. I missed... everything. Moving is stressssssful. T^T ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5310827/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5310827/ Mon, 09 May 2005 12:20:05 PDT WHOA I'M UPDATING RIGHT AFTER I UPDATED. 8D I am SO hot.

I'M NOT A PERFECT PERSONNN. I NEVER MEANT TO DO THOSE THINGS TO YOUUUU.

Does anyone remember when they overplayed that song to the point of insanity? @0@

I think I'm going journal crazy because I lose the internet tomorrow night and I haven't been seperated from it since I was... 12. T^T I think I'm a little damaged.

Wow,... something brought to my attention that... I'm like,... the luckiest person on Earth. 8D

- Laur, jeeze... I love you. You're one of my best friends and... that's an understatement. You can ALWAYS cheer me up, and nothing can replace our 'Lost' sprees or
Ewan-loving obsession. <3 You'll always be my friend. "Come what may, I will love you until my dying day."

- Cabbage,... whoa. You. Like. Are amazing. I don't even remember how we got as
close as we are now, but one minute I just met you and the next we're like,... crazy phsyco G/S loving
best friends. x3; Your advice beats that of many, simply because I feel like you totally understand.
"You don't sound like a wise-know-it-all priest" ! XDXD; Our crusty loves and G/S ranting
can always make my laugh. Always. <3

- Zie,... I just want to thank you. For everything. You've always commented on the important
entries I've made, and what is cool is that you've pretty much always commented on the totally
stupid entries too. <3 You've been such a great person through this. The notes you send me make
me smile when I'm crying. Thanks for being that friend to me.

- Jeeze, over the years, no one can beat you Fal. You've been with me through,... everything
it seems like. Even the crazy forums [remember Matsi's Star Shrine? XD] and RPGs we've created
together. Those memories never fade... the ones of Catwings and the Cimarron Wolves? Yes,... I think
about stuff like that in my spare time. Crazy, but we've proved I'm not the sanest person in the world. ;3
I can't really express how much you mean to me,... because it's impossible. Thanks Sis', for everything you've done for me the past four-ish years.

- Larissa-chan,... you too. The past four-ish years are filled with a LOT of memories, but
you've always been there, through every one of them, encouraging and supporting me. I'm glad I have you
sister. I'm so glad I have you.

- Gur,... jeeze. Thanks. For being there. Just for telling me everything is going to be okay.
Sometimes that's what I need the most. ;

Melzie. Wow, we've been through a few things haven't we? x3 I've gotten SO
mad at you sometimes,... especially back in school, but when I think about it, you've always told me how
it is, and I appreciate that. You're a kick-arse friend. You've been my friend even when you probably didn't
want to. No one can replace that. :3

~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5310577/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5310577/ Mon, 09 May 2005 11:44:00 PDT Good news - we got the house. ; Just wanted to let everyone know that much. We move on Friday. <3

And,... offline people getting into your online life is a horror story. @0@
~

Contaaact information. Again. Because I can. Then again, you can't really contact me if my electricity is shut off. HECK I'M SMART.

AIM: Matsi x Wolf
MSN: matsi-wolf@sbcglobal.net
Yahoo: matsi-wolf@sbcglobal.net
email: matsi-wolf@sbcglobal.net
Livejournal: [link]
Graphics Journal: [link]

edit .// Adding the link to my personal site that will eventually hold my art//fanfiction//writing and other stuff.

website: [link]
]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5302567/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5302567/ Sun, 08 May 2005 16:36:30 PDT Happy Mother's Day! 8D

Wee. Just wanted to post something, like... as a going away present. o_o;

Contaaact information. Again. Because I can. Then again, you can't really contact me if my electricity is shut off. HECK I'M SMART.

AIM: Matsi x Wolf
MSN: matsi-wolf@sbcglobal.net
Yahoo: matsi-wolf@sbcglobal.net
email: matsi-wolf@sbcglobal.net
Livejournal: [link]
Graphics Journal: [link]

edit .// Adding the link to my personal site that will eventually hold my art//fanfiction//writing and other stuff.

website: [link]



Aren't personal life problems/relationship problems fun? I hate people sometimes. 8D Life is such a joy.

It's like. raining. What a great way to spread happiness. ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5288032/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5288032/ Fri, 06 May 2005 19:48:50 PDT All right.

Our electricity gets shut off any time in the next week. We have to move in the next week or we'll get literally kicked out of our house by the police or whoever. Our phones are shut off Tuesday or Wednesday. And we are flat broke. One hundred percent broke.

So I want to say goodbye for now. I know I owe art to many people, and I apologize a thousand times. I will pay everyone back... when my life is straightened out. But it's going to be a while. But I promise on my life, I'll repay everyone I owe.

I love you guys much, and thank you for your support through this. I know you'll be here for me when I return.

; ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5239953/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5239953/ Sun, 01 May 2005 16:25:48 PDT I just want everyone to have an explaination, just in case I drop off the face of the internet suddenly, cause it very likely could happen.

This is copied from my LJ. A lot of it may seem like an attention-getter but this is real for me. One hundred percent real. I want to apologize to everyone I owe art to. I'm going to try my best to get it done, that includes commission lineart and such.

~

Okay. I should probably lay this out, so it's clear... and to just get it straight with myself too. Go figure. Oo;

[x] We are behind three house payments of over $1000 each. So... say, $3500 in the hole on our payment. If we can't pay one by Monday, tomorrow [ which we can't ] then they are going to start the forclosure. Thirty days to get out or we are literally thrown out. 8D Fun.
[x] Currently, we have no where to go. There are possibilities, but the most workable would be a house that is $250 higher than our current payment, no matter how many deals my dad can cut.
[x] So, we have established that a move is definate. Since, duh, we can't pay the freakin' payment. 8D We all know my wonderful moving stories, so... yeah. Just take it from there in your heads on how I feel about this all.
[x] My mother, is about ready to leave since she "has put up with this shit since day one, for fifteen years", which during this time, she has done NOTHING at all to help the situation. 8D So she complains and complains, but can't justify anything except by "IWASJUSTDOINGITFORTHECHILDREN." Therefore bringing me and my sister into the equation. Kind, Mom.

Now... if she leaves: She has no money to support us, so she'll have to run home to her mommy. Which means - Minnesotaaa again! Dundundun. And, el Grandma and el Grandpa. Joooy. Teens + senioralmostdeadcitizens =... well, you do the math. Did I mention my grandma is just like my mother, in fact SHE'S WORSE?!! Um, yeah, my thoughts exactly.

If you add everything else up, that means my mother would get rid of my dog, and probably either get rid of Gracie or throw her at my dad... of course she'd keep her damn precious bunny [sorryBunbun >_>] and my sister would get to keep her friggin' bird, since... everybody's pets matter except mine.

I wouldn't have access to a computer or a phone for a very long time, so my art would die, so... yeah. The cheery list goes ON and ON and ON.

[x] Emotional crap obviously means nothing to my mother. We all also know how I'm dealing with probably the most difficult emotional let-go I've ever had to go through, so that adds a fantastically beautiful cherry to the top of this hell life sundae. x3 Lovely, isn't it?

Oh, and did I mention the SUBtopics?

[x] Now that we have the 'nomoney' thing down, we also have no dog food.

No dog food = starving dogs.

[x] OMGNODOGFOOD?!?!/111 Well get this folks - PEOPLE FOOD IS LOW. 8DDD

No people food = starving humans.
Yes, yes, a pity. And before anyone starts throwing stuff out, yes... we have been to every food shelter in this friggin' pleasant city and you can only go get food once a month, we've been lent thousands of dollars from our familiy members and they're tired of helping us, my mother's new found job brings in $10 bucks an hour but she doesn't get paid until the end of May, and there is no where or no one else to turn to. 8D Bring on the hunger pains!

[x] No money = no paid billlls! 8D8D8D No paid bills = no electricity. No electricity would equal the death of one of my last remaining escapes... YES. No television! Wouldn't be a bad thing if I didn't rely on it to escape from my BradyBunch life.

So we've got... gasp!!111

HOBO MATTONENS. >D

Watch out, cause they're big, they're bad, they're broken, and they're... BULKY. [sorry, could think of another 'b' word o_o;]

Lovely, lovely. I'd lose pretty much everything. 8D Except for maybe my last sketchbook and my offline journal. So I could write and maybe sketch for awhile until I run out of paper and then I could... draw on napkins? oO;

AND THAT'S ALL FOLKS.

~

All right. Yes. I'm being very sarcastic, because right now it's the only way I can keep from totally breaking down and losing my precious mind! 8D Have a problem with it? Screw you. I am also very touchy and mean lately! If I insult you, I promise you I probably don't mean it, and I probably feel horrible inside for it. I'm just... so... scared right now. But sssshhhh, it'sas... ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5210718/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5210718/ Thu, 28 Apr 2005 07:45:46 PDT Listening to: Lonely No More x Rob Thomas

<sub>Go love on right now. She made me a hot icon. ;

My sub goes away today. ;0; -snifflecrydie- Then I can join the ranks of proud... free... unsubscribed... people. oO;</sub>


]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5168331/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5168331/ Sat, 23 Apr 2005 14:40:16 PDT Listening to: Lonely No More x Rob Thomas

<sub>Woo. Update time. 8D

The school year is almost over so woah, I'm feeling almost good enough to open trades! It'll probably be in May sometime, so just a pre-announcement thing. And DA sucks for teasing us with paid accounts. It's so much easier going through 300+ messages every two days, too it's going to run out in like, five days. ><;


¤Status¤
Requests -> Open... when I love feet. It means no.
Trades -> Shall be open sooooon. ;D
Commissions -> Um. Yes.

¤Communities¤</sub>


]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5152289/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5152289/ Thu, 21 Apr 2005 19:19:44 PDT Mood: crazylikeahappycow
Listening to: She Will Be Loved x Maroon5

LYKE OMGZ. I randomly got picked for a week trial subscription. @0@ I feel like, special cause I have all of these random... things. And stuff. <333 Yay for Matsi.

]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5140726/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/5140726/ Wed, 20 Apr 2005 16:27:30 PDT
I don't want to hear any 'omgzshezbackwhatahyprocrite'. I just needed a break. A shortish long break. My life has been stressful, emotional and totally screwed up lately. I needed to take a break. Get some of my feelings straight. A lot of stuff has happened that I was dreading for a long time, and I just couldn't take all of the pressure. Thanks to everyone who cares about me, knowing you all are here and support me really makes a difference. <3 ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4917499/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4917499/ Sat, 26 Mar 2005 15:48:35 PST serious thing.

Most of you know of DA's Policy 304. [link] To make this as short as possible, the policy has been edited/reworded so that it now says it's perfectly okay to directly trace/copy another artist's work and not give credit.

I'm sorry, but I am not going to be a part of a place that allows and supports a direct form [at least to me] of art theft.

I'm not saying that it won't happen, and that me leaving is going to stop from people stealing+copying+tracing my art, but come on - there is no way I'm going to just throw my hard work out there and let it be taken for granite by "younger not as skilled artists learning to improve". I'm sorry, but no. It's not right in any form or sense.

And I cannot tell you how upset I am to be having to write this to you. I'm so grateful for everyone here, and I just hate to have it be this way. But I'm not really going anywhere. I'm just not going to be posting art here any longer. I'll still be watching everyone's galleries, don't worry.

I'll also be moving my most 'active' gallery to my Sheezy account. [edit: I just decided that I DO NOT like Sheezy so just be waiting for my website to open. ><]

I'm also going to work on a website for my art as well where my recent works will be viewable. I'll post the link when it's open.

Sign the petition to get Policy 304 changed: [link]
Further explaination & info can be found in *razerz journal ( [link] )

I can be contacted any of the following ways:
AIM: Matsi x Wolf
Yahoo: matsi-wolf@sbcglobal.net or snow_wolven_beauty
MSN: matsi-wolf@sbcglobal.net
email: matsi-wolf@sbcglobal.net

So this is goodbye for me. I love you all, I just don't love open support of art theft. ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4884470/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4884470/ Tue, 22 Mar 2005 18:51:04 PST wrong.

What I'm referring to is the Terry case, the feeding tube.

What the heck is wrong with our government? More so, our judicial system? I cannot BELIEVE how corrupt it is?

That judge is pretty much sentencing her to death. Now don't get me wrong, I'd understand if she was braindead or if she was in a coma and couldn't come out, but she's RESPONSIVE. She's even SMILING! WTF?

And what irks me is that the president even signed for the tube to be put back in! The leader of our COUNTRY. How often does the president even get involved? And the judge ruled against even that. I can't believe how a JUDGE could over-rule that.

This country is starting to make me sick. It's been making me more disgusted every year, every month, every week now. And I'm not anti-American; in fact, I've been deathly loyal to this country since I was little; I'd cry when anyone sung the national Anthem, but please... what is this country coming to?

I'm about fed up with it right now.

I don't want any flame. I don't to be chewed out. That's fine if you want to throw in your opinion, but don't say 'omgyuun-gratefulslobwhohasnorespectforf reedomorlibertyomgdie!!!1111/eleventy' mmkay?thx<3

EDIT: okay, now that it's been brought to my attention, I realized I didn't exactly state what I thought was wrong/right in this. Okay,... Terry's husband is claiming she wants the feeding tube out, but he's doing it just to get her money or what not. It's simply retarded. He's a slob. That's what I'm saying. NOW thank you. 8D ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4819761/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4819761/ Tue, 15 Mar 2005 12:42:08 PST do happen! oOo

I'm sort if irked right now because I may have been scammed by someone who commissioned me,... but other then that... I'm spiffeh. kind of. .0. Omg. I'm like... tryingggg to finish my prizes and pageview gifts,... I'm sketching most of them actually. 8D So there! Hawh!

Woo hooooooo. Now I'm done. e_o

[contest info] [link]
[art statusness] [link]

¤Status¤
Requests -> Open. Not. xD;
Trades -> Depends.
Commissions -> Probably.

¤t3h spiffs¤
~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4683331/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4683331/ Sun, 27 Feb 2005 11:04:04 PST [link]

Alaska is permitting 900 of their wolves to be shot arial. Please sign the petition to save the wolves. It saddens me to see this happening so freely. ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4676152/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4676152/ Sat, 26 Feb 2005 09:03:00 PST IS MY WIFE. OMG. :0 Go love on her now... because... I love her. Muches. We even have one of those hawt marriage papers that Mearu made! 8D Talk about official! We are going to hollywood for our honeymoon babeh!

[contest info] [link]
[art statusness] [link]

¤Status¤
Requests -> Open. Not. xD;
Trades -> Depends.
Commissions -> Probably.

¤t3h spiffs¤
http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4671288/ Fri, 25 Feb 2005 15:31:15 PST 8D

-> stolen from

1) Single or Taken: Taken. >>;
2) Your Age: 14 on April 5th.
3) Sign: Aries
4) Siblings: One, but seems like four. -_-
5) Hair color: Golden icky blonde. :0
6) Eye color: greeeennnneeeeennnnnn
7) Shoe size: ... FIFTYTWO.
8) Full name as stated on birth cerificate: BODIES IN MY SHOES.

R e l a t i o n s h i p s:
1. who is your best friend(s)?: mah toofbrush.
2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Er,... yes. xx;

S t u f f:
1. where is your favorite place to shop: I shop like, everywhere... if it's cool. 8P
2. do you have any piercings?: two in my ears.

S p e c i f i c s:
1. do you do drugs?: Oh yeaaaah,... I smoke dah dope d00dz.
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: I don't know. o_O Whatever's in the shower?
3. what are you most scared of?: fear itself.
5. who is the last person that called you?: dad? like, five minutes ago telling me he's coming home. xD
6. where do you want to get married?: MY BASEMENT!
7. how many buddies are online right now?: 13
8. what would you change about yourself?: my chinnnn. and. my. shoes? oxo

H a v e Y o u E v e r:
1. given anyone a bath?: my doggy. :3
2. smoked?: like I said, I SMOKE DA DOPE D00D. Yeah, in your dreams.
3. bungee jumped?: Sure. No. But I probably would... if I was promised the rope wouldn't break,... or be cut. And then fifty people would have to do it first and then... yeah. Maybe not. .o.
4. made yourself throw up?: Grosseth.
5. skinny dipped?: No. xD
6: ever been in love?: Once... ><
7. Lied to get out of trouble?: Who's writing these questions? o_O
8. pictured your crush naked?: WTF?
9. actually seen your crush naked?: -chokes- XD
10. cried when someone died?: Duh.
11. lied: uh,... of course, at some point in my life.
12. fallen for your best friend?: nope.
13. been rejected?: Totally.
14. rejected someone?: I think we all have.
15. used someone?: I used someone to tie my shoe... in my next life... 8O
16. done something you regret?: yes.

C u r r e n t:
-clothes: breakaway tshirt; mah favorite jeans; white sweater; sockies < 3;
-hair: down
-book you're reading: warriors#6.
-in cd player: a bunch of mp3s or something.
-in dvd player: not sure. XD

L a s t P e r s o n:
-you touched: my mouse.
-hugged: Um... um... um... Carrie maybe?
-you imed: Laur & Fal

A r e Y o u:
-understanding: I try. Or pretend. XD
-open-minded: I try, but... yeah.
-arrogant: no. >>;
-insecure: sometimes.
-interesting: I'LL SHOW YOU INTERESTING.
-random: is sex
-hungry: is an ugly country.
-smart: is geekylove. 8D
-moody: OMGYOUSUCK... did I mention I love you?
-hard working: when I want to beeee. <3
-organized: I'M A FREAK LIKE THAT. >x<
-difficult: do you want me to be?
-bored easily: boredum rules my life.
-messy: nope.
-obsessed: L&O/Sammmmm my love. 8D

R a n d o m:
-In the morning I am: tired/touchy
-All I need is: SAM. L&O. shoes. Josh <3
-I dream about: Green vans and... shoes? oO;

O p p o s i t e S e x:
-what do you notice first: eyes, precious.
-last person you danced with: er,... like... crazy danced? Carrie. XD Slowdanced? That would be awhile ago. o.o;
-w... ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4664124/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4664124/ Thu, 24 Feb 2005 16:24:53 PST But I'll try to get some stuff done in the next week or so. I'm still alive, just wanted to let you all know I'm not dead or anything.


[contest info] [link]
[art statusness] [link]

¤Status¤
Requests -> Open. Not. xD;
Trades -> Depends.
Commissions -> Probably.

¤t3h spiffs¤
http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4621039/ Sat, 19 Feb 2005 09:49:15 PST 's essay on Evolution vs. Creation. It's VERY good and I love the points she brings up and how she supports everything with Biblical references.
[link]

Anyway... yeah. 8D

-sings 'sing with me now, sing for the years...'-

I'm CRAZY. But we all knew that. :3

[contest info] [link]

¤Status¤
Requests -> Open. Not. xD;
Trades -> Depends.
Commissions -> Probably.

¤t3h spiffs¤
~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4577851/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4577851/ Mon, 14 Feb 2005 08:59:51 PST
I've never really enjoyed this day, but oh well. I have a pretty picture planned but I want to put a lot of time into it so it probably won't be up for awhile. AND OMG IT WILL SO NOT FEATURE ANY HEARTS AT ALL. Yeah. I'm good. Like that. Because. I am. so yeaaaaah.

Um. Yeah. I love everybody,... but I love Josh more. HA. XD IN your FACES.

Not really. But yeah. I do. No. Kinda.

YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU.

[link] [contest link] ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4545213/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4545213/ Tue, 15 Mar 2005 09:58:18 PST edit -- OKAY YO. If you are planning on entering this weird stupid useless contest, PLEASE POST HERE AND TELL ME NOW. Cause. No one is entering and I'm thinking about just closing it and doing Youki some hot giftart or something cause she's the only one who's entered. :0 So tell meee. If you're going to enterrrr. And if you really are sure you're going to and you just need time, please suggest a date when you think you'll be able to have it done by so I can repost the deadline if needed. mmkay?!thx.


Omg Matsi's having another contesttt!

I'm perfectly aware that I haven't finished my prizes for everyone from the last contest, but I PROMISE by the time this one is closed I'll have ALL of the prizes done from last time. 8D If I don't, well, shoot me.

Besides, this contest will have a lot longer time frame since... well... it's mah birfday and I feel special and all that. oOo;

Theme
Well of course it's going to be birthday-ish themed. I'm turning 14 on April 5th,... and a lot of people brought up the idea of holding another contest, then I got an awesome idea and decided to go through wif' it! So yeah, praise me! >8D

The objective is to draw Matsi and one of her obsessions. doing something... birthday-ish.
example: Matsi and Sam-wolf eating cake. OR. Matsi receiving The Phantom as a gift with a bow on his head. Get the basic idea? Good.

Rules
1.) Your entry must include Matsi [quad or anthro, I don't mind but I prefer quad] and one of her obessions, either in wolf or human form, though wolf form gets you brownie points on creativity. n_n

2.) Must be BIRTHDAY themed. Duh. Cake, presents, icecream, party hats,... all that fun jazz.

3.) Be CREATIVE. I don't care how weird it is, as long as it includes the first two rules. Your creativity and unique ideas will make the judges like your entry more. If it has humor in it, it'll make the judges laugh, then that'll obviously be good. If it's emotional [trust me, you can incorporate emotion into a contest like this XDXD;] and the judges really get something out of it, it'll be good. You get the idea.

4.) A huge factor in my last contest that my judges brought up was neatness of the entries. The entries that looked like they were 5-minute doodles didn't sit well with the judges, so I'd recommend putting a little effort in if you're looking to place.

Otherwise:

5.) Have FUN. It's my birfdai, I wanna see sparkles, I wanna be surprised! <3

List of Obessions
Here is the list of acceptable "obessions" that can be drawn in your entries. Remember - wolf version or human. Anthro would probably be accepted too if you choose to go that route. I added a link to references if needed.
The Phantom [link]
Sam Waterston/Jack McCoy [link]
Ricky Ullman[link]
Simon Cowell [link]
Ben Stiller [link]
Dan Futterman [link]
Topher Grace [link]
Jack Sparrow <3 [link]
Tristan [from King Arthur][link]
Antonio Banderas [link]
Ray Romano [link]
Liam Aiken [link]
CSI
Law and Order
Lost

also,... animated obsessions if you're into that:
Danny Phantom [his hair omg his hair! *o*]
Ronnnn Stopable [cause I'm cool like that XD]
Brad [from MLAATR]

[I will be adding more later. Personally I think a Tristan wolf would be hot! 8D For all you King Arthur fans out there. *cough* >>; Yeah, I'm obessed with some pretty crazy guys, SO SHUT UP. I'm cool like that. And I know it.]

Prizes
1st Place - a full digital color picture with up to three characters.
2nd Place - A digital color image, simple background, up to 2 characters.
3rd Place - A detailed sketch of a character of your choice.

Deadline
Sometime in... ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4528734/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4528734/ Tue, 08 Feb 2005 11:25:50 PST anna
n : a former copper coin of Pakistan

stole teh idea from meh Cabbeh! Go love on her now because she's random. Anyways... my official reaction to that definition: wtf? XDXD;

now, some official matsi random for the day:
[poo bombing: trying to poop over the edge of your balcony onto a lower balcony in a tall hotel]

~~
And omgzzzzzz... thee Phant0m of t3h 0pora is the shiz d00dz! I'm like, 300% obsessed and can't handle the Phantom's h0tz. it's like killing me. go see it now if you haven't and drool at the mad singing which makes you cryyyy [maybe XDXD;]. why? because matsiish ordered you to, so NOW. mmkay?thxyo'.

~~

As for the Josh situation: no update. ;~; But thank you to all of my wonderful friends, watchers and psycho lovers for helping me through this. XD I don't know what I'd do without you. ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4511543/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4511543/ Sun, 06 Feb 2005 11:51:56 PST
HIM: Actually I wanted to thank you...
ME: For...?
HIM: For showing me that how stupid I was. I was horrible to you.
ME: I... I don't care anymore, I was just mad!
HIM: I'll have think about it. You have to think about it too.

I walked away and ran to Stephan and Carrie where they comforted me. Then Stephan went and talked to Josh about everything. Later he came and told me that Josh had told his parents that we had broken up and that now they think that nothing's going on between us. Stephan thinks that's an even better reason to go out with me, but let's face it, this is STILL the same Stephan as the one who went behind his mother's back when she banned him from seeing Carrie. I love him though. I'm glad both him and Carrie support me in this... they really are the only one's I know [at least in RL] that understand a little bit about true love.

But it hurt SO bad,... talking to him I mean. His eyes were empty, and I've never seen them like that before... he showed no emotion. AT ALL. It made my heart ache. When I told him I didn't care anymore I KNOW I saw a hint of a smile as he looked away. He told me he missed me. <333 That made me realize that there was still some of the old Josh in there somewhere. Gosh I love him. SO friggin much. I think that's why Stephan&Carrie are supporting me and encouraging me through this - because they both love each other as much as I love Josh and he loves me.

I'll write more later after service tonight... I'm praying that whatever happens tonight, is the best for me. ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4504220/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4504220/ Sat, 05 Feb 2005 14:26:24 PST
"Anna, only YOU can decide that."

I was still confused so I asked him, 'what if I don't think he's right for me, but I don't care and I love him anyway,'. He said, "well then there you go!" XDXD; I love Stephan, he's the big brother figure in my life. Carrie called and we talked a little bit about it and she said she understands. I was a little bit stunned because she was the one who had told me in the first place that she didn't think Josh was right for me.

But... she said she'd probably do the same thing if she was in the same position with Stephan. <333 I love my big "sister".

So hopefully Stephan got a hold of Josh for me... I asked him to call and talk to him for me. >>; I hope things will work out... I really hope things do. I'm so tired of be lonely, heartbroken and sad. ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4496918/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4496918/ Fri, 04 Feb 2005 14:25:08 PST
~~

Just my luck - I tried calling him and the line was busy. He's probably talking to Carrie and that's why she had to go.

I'm so screwed.

I don't think I can go another night like this.

I love Josh and I miss him. I don't give a rip what anyone thinks. No little lies could stop me from loving him.

~~

Just tried again and he's not home. Damn. That means I probably won't be able to get a hold of him. *curses* I need to talk to Josh. ;~; Nowwwww. *whines*

Also, a big shout to . Be nice to her, and give her love, because she needs it and she's going through something just as bad as I am. We're both losing our loves and it's killing us. I love you Mickey. <33 ]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4495335/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4495335/ Fri, 04 Feb 2005 10:33:34 PST
Why did this have to happen in February? The friggin' month of love. Of course. Just my friggin' luck. I should have seen this coming.

God, this is so retarded. People are going to come tell me I'm stupid for making such a big deal out of this, but not many can understand how much I love him. Ugh. I need him. Of course I could get used to living without him, but I'd never be the same. My heart would always be aching.

I am SO hurt right now. Mostly because I simply can't forget all we went through, and how much I love him. ;~; *cries*




¤Status¤
Requests -> Open. Not. xD;
Trades -> Depends.
Commissions -> Closed for now.

¤t3h spiffs¤
http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4486958/ Thu, 03 Feb 2005 09:11:16 PST
This really has broken me, to be honest. I'm shattered and torn and gah... so this is an early apology just in case I don't get around to commenting/watches + stuff like that.


¤Status¤
Requests -> Open. Not. xD;
Trades -> Depends.
Commissions -> Closed for now.

¤t3h spiffs¤


¤Communities¤
~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4481612/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4481612/ Wed, 02 Feb 2005 16:37:40 PST
but my feelings keep getting in the WAY.

he cries over me.

he's said more than once that he feels I deserve someone much better than him, and that he never deserved something as 'great as i am'. To ME that feels like he's just freely waving me around. my first instinct is to go 'fine, if you feel that I deserve better than you, I'll FIND someone better than you.' I'm just like that.

and once his parents find out that we've been talking on the phone, he's going to be grounded and I'm going to get mad and probably lose my mind. his parents are CRAZY. and I'm starting to think he is too.

problem is now I LOVE him and I can't just STOP loving him!!! ;_; it's just getting too hard for me though. it's really stressing me out and making me crabby and irritated with everyone, even my family. there's so much tension in my house with our financial issues and my dad, this on top of everything just isn't making this easier, that's all.

Any advice? Opinions? Thoughts?

Anything? ;~; I'm just really confused right now.

¤Status¤
Requests -> Open. Not. xD;
Trades -> Depends.
Commissions -> Probably.

¤t3h spiffs¤
http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4470400/ Tue, 01 Feb 2005 11:23:11 PST thankyuuuuu!!!!!!!!!

*hugsxamilliontothosewhocommissionedmats i* I luff you all so much and those who commissioned me really helped out my family. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know. Commissions are still partially open if you're interested. But also a huge thanks to all of my wonderful friends and watchers who've been encouraging me and supporting me. I don't know where I'd be without yuuall!

¤Status¤
Requests -> Open. Not. xD;
Trades -> Depends.
Commissions -> Probably.

¤t3h spiffs¤
http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4430588/ Thu, 27 Jan 2005 16:49:44 PST
I'm broke. And it's not just me who's broke, it's my FAMILY. It has literally come down to me having to finally sell my artwork for my family to get FOOD to SURVIVE. literally. So now I'm asking, begging almost, for a few people to work with me patiently, and I will do a few commissions.

Price Range [it'll be about $15-$30 dollars a picture, but I'll be eternally greatful for a higher offer]
The Basics[Most of my watchers know I draw mostly wolves. I can also do horses and felines. You may request up to three characters on the picture but I'd recommend a max. of two if you want a better quality image. There aren't many limits to the backgrounds, but my watchers also know that backgrounds are challenging and it must be within my skill range, etc.]
Payment [if you are interested, we can discuss the payment methods privately, but I'll tell you before hand that it'll have to be a more traditional way of pay since I don't have my Paypal account set up right now. if you trust me and I trust you, it shouldn't be a problem.]

Once again, I'll be very grateful for those who do make me offers, because my family is in GREAT need, and I didn't want it to come down to this, but it looks like it has.

]]> ~Matsi-Wolf http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4413356/ http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4413356/ Wed, 26 Jan 2005 12:30:36 PST ¤Updates & Stuff¤
Gah, I suppose I should do a gift for whomever gets 5000th pageview. So if you catch it and have a screen capture, let me know and you get free art. 8O

[EDIT: caught my 5000th pageview so he gets a gift. Yay for him. ]

¤Status¤
Requests -> Open. Not. xD;
Trades -> Depends.
Commissions -> Once again, depends.

¤t3h spiffs¤

http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4334873/ Fri, 21 Jan 2005 15:28:44 PST ¤Updates & Stuff¤
Like... wow. I'm BORED.

UNDERPANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, so sue me.

¤Status¤
Requests -> Open. Not. xD;
Trades -> Depends.
Commissions -> Once again, depends.

¤My Hobbitses - cough - (Because I them all >O)¤



¤Communities¤
http://Matsi-Wolf.deviantart.com/journal/4334859/ Sun, 16 Jan 2005 13:10:04 PST ¤Updates & Stuff¤
Results for teh contest are up. 8D Go see. So now I'll have to work on the prizes; too bad Zan's on hiatus though... she'll be getting a nice picture when she gets back. Anyway; I've had a sucky day. xox; And I saw The Grudge on Saturday and it creeped the pants off me [not really XDXD]

Woo. I like doing giftart. And... I'm getting my trades done, so if you're cool, I may accept offers for trades! [that sounds so mean XD] No... but don't hesitate as much as usual if you want to ask meh. Which reminds me... I need to do an exchange with . I heart her very much.

¤Status¤
Requests -> Open. Not. xD;
Trades -> Depends.
Commissions -> Once again, depends.

¤My Hobbitses - cough - (Because I them all >O)¤

~Matsi-Wolf