http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:MegaRon&section=today deviantART RSS for by:MegaRon en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 03 Dec 2009 10:07:34 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/28543345/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/28543345/ Tue, 24 Nov 2009 07:52:22 PST [link]

I think that it's important for everyone to realize that Australia is not the only nation that still has lax rules on treating animals well. The United States is also guilty of this, and I'm sure there are plenty of others. We can stop this, and we know how. If you must buy meat, buy from friendly farms, where the pigs are allowed to live happy lives.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/27923629/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/27923629/ Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:43:38 PDT
It's so weird: a few hours ago, I was just fine. I was better than fine, I was hard. I was swimming in an oasis of memories of intimate encounters in relationships that have long since died and rotten, so to speak. In a way, that makes me a necrophiliac, I guess.

I was just happy. Blissful. Froh. Disregarding any kind of sour patches in my past -- the cheaters, the break ups, the awkward conversations -- it was good. I remembered the curves my hands had graced, and how pleasing it was to me. I thought about what seams I have yet to compromise.

Why I let myself dwell in the past and fantasies of the future, I do not know. It just feels right sometimes. It feels as if it will benefit me in some way. My intentions are unclear to me, at least on the surface (or at least that's what I'll tell you).

Even now, though, I feel the oppressive wool pulling off from my eyes.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/27637774/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/27637774/ Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:14:03 PDT
The paper is supposed to be on a dream career of mine (writing), the working conditions, and everything of the like. This is a very exciting opportunity for me, because not only is Ellen Hopkins one of the coolest authors in the world, she is also in the middle of a ton of controversy right now.

Mrs. Hopkins was scheduled to speak in Norman, OK, a few weeks ago, as part of an auction that was to benefit a Phoenix bookseller who was in dire need of help to pay her cancer-related hospital bills. Some annoyed, conservative parents began throwing a hissy fit because Mrs. Hopkins' books include drug use, sex, and violence (because we all know that isn't seen anywhere else, right?).

However, unlike the other forms of media that actually GLORIFY these things, Ellen Hopkins speaks out AGAINST addiction, telling a story loosely based on that of her daughter. While I will agree that it definitely isn't at the top of what I would consider 'appropriate reading' for people 12-13, I will also submit that her books do a service to children and young adults in the world that need guidance.

I recently sent Mrs. Hopkins a Tweet to ask if it was all right that we conduct an interview for my assignment, and she promptly responded by telling me that it wouldn't be a problem as long as it can wait until next week. It can wait, but I am absolutely excited about another chance to speak with one of my favourite authors.

Thank you, Ellen. I owe you, BIG-TIME.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/27456354/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/27456354/ Sun, 27 Sep 2009 19:27:43 PDT
At least, that's what I'm being told. I frequent Reddit, specifically the vegan Sub-Reddit, and there's been discussion today about honey. Is it vegan. Obviously, it's an animal product, so it really isn't. However, I think that honey is different and, in my opinion, something that we can be lenient towards.

I know I'll catch some flack from my vegan friends for saying that I don't totally avoid honey products, or recoil in repulsion whenever I see 'honey' on the ingredients list. I've read the arguments that say honey isn't vegan, and I can understand that, but in some cases, honey is nearly inevetable, at least here. Do I go seeking honey on a daily basis? No. But I won't go out of my way to avoid it, either.

The fact of the matter is, honey is similar to organic meat, in my opinion. Many beekeepers do not abuse their bees, they do not do anything malicious in order to gather the honey, they are not cruel to the bees. It's much different than what happens in factory farms to the cows and the pigs.

I will say, however, that I do disagree with the apparent methods of reproduction brought about by the same site that argues that honey isn't vegan. Evidently, male bees are crushed, the semen is taken from their bodies, and injected into the Queen. It isn't said to be a regular practice, just 'becoming more popular.'

This argument reminds me of someone saying that Glenn Beck is the voice of America just because he's becoming popular with a bunch of loonies and idiots. In the same way, this is probably not the most beneficial method of producing more bees, and there are cruelty-free methods being practiced all over the world.

Something that bothers me about veganism, after my few months of being a vegan, is that some see it as a kind of... religious thing. You have to be absolutely animal free, with no exceptions. I can understand this, I mean, cripes, the definition of 'vegan' is someone who doesn't use animal-derived products. It's not like I'm not trying, though.

Recently, I've been living by a motto that I kind of made up for myself. I dunno, it may have been written somewhere else before, but I like to think of it as my own. It is this: "Though I may not be perfect today, I will work towards making a better me for tomorrow."

Until other vegans can accept that some will continue to eat honey because it is not a big deal to them, I should be considered a 'beegan.' But I'm trying, Ringo. I'm trying real hard.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/27087248/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/27087248/ Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:00:59 PDT
Grow up.

I have no idea what your problems are, but I'm getting real tired of them. This morning, President Obama is set to give a speech about education, and you're playing it off as though he's going to indoctrinate the children of the nation and turn them all into zombie communists, or something just as stupid and fictitious.

I get it, you don't like the president. He's threatening to you because he's slightly liberal, and otherwise moderate. I understand how you dislike his attempts to actually reach across the aisle and try and involve you in talks for a health care bill which you refuse to vote for even if it was an entirely Republican bill which legally allows the health insurance companies to figuratively bend you over and rape you, and then take all of your money. I also understand how you're still kind of sore from that beatdown the general American public gave you in the 2008 elections, by electing 58 Democrats, 2 Independents, and a measly 48 Republicans (most of whom probably won because of their appeal to the conserva-tard masses that believe the words in 'Every Sperm is Sacred' as the gospel, and don't see it as the satire that it is).

Guess what? Just like we had to deal with eight years of Bush, you're going to have to deal with four years of Obama. THAT'S JUST HOW IT WORKS. Stop bitching and complaining at every turn that you don't like what he's doing, if it's not anything political. He's giving a speech to students. The text of said speech has been released to the public to study. Maybe you should set an example, and go do that.

[link]

Evil Marxist indoctrination if'n I ever read it.

The real sad part about this is the message that you who oppose this are sending. You're basically telling kids that listening to the president is a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, I agree with questioning authority and fighting for stuff you believe in. It's our right. But to keep kids out of school is really counterproductive.

So, to all the school districts restricting this speech, a hearty 'fuck you' is in order. Was there this much controversy when Reagan, Bush 41, or Bush 43 gave similar speeches? I'll save you the necessary brain power you would normally need to think by answering that for you: No, there wasn't. You're disgusting, and your bias is showing.

-Ron

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26907833/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26907833/ Sun, 30 Aug 2009 03:05:37 PDT
I remember when I first got a MySpace account, I posted a blog, bashing on emo people, and the clothing store, Zumiez, for their disgusting store.

About four years later, and I finally did what I should have a long time ago, I deleted that goddamn parasite. I cut it off. No longer will it, or Facebook keep me from doing what I should be doing, which is finding a job, finding a girl, and writing my goddamn stories.

I gave up e-wrestling this week, because I don't have the patience to write the same character over and over again. It's like what Chris Seaver said to me about his character, Bonejack.

He said to me, in short, that he had done the character for so long, he was tired of it. The character had run its course. I feel that way about MySpace, Facebook, and e-wrestling. Those three things were pretty instrumental in keeping me on my ass and hindering my potential from being realized, and now that I've shed those protective layers, I feel so much more relieved.

No more do I have to run the risk of running into unsavory people if I don't want to. I don't have to deal with tags, or groups, or bulletins, or blogs.

Blogs. ... What a shitty name. I much prefer the term, "journal." As Ben "Yaaaaaaaahtzee" Croshaw put it, "blog" sounds like something that sits at the bottom of a lake and communicates solely through farts.

So yeah, I'm done with MySpace and Facebook, and I'm going to become a stronger person today, because I can quit this addiction to social sites, and I can realize my potential as a writer, as a lover, as a human being. Today is a new day. And now, I should get to sleep, but I won't.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26866083/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26866083/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 21:39:03 PDT
It's not because you don't want to, it's not because you're not my friends, it's just because I won't have it. You can't help me. I'm not consolable. This life feels wasted.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I see a fool. I see a dunce cap planted squarely on my head, and you're all laughing at me. You're all pointing and laughing. You don't care that I'll never succeed in this life, I'm just your little plaything, I'm your toy. I'm everything you say you want, but when push comes to shove, you go back to the one that hurt you over and over.

And just because I refuse to hurt others, and only myself, that's why I'm here.

She told me that she felt like she could judge me because I wouldn't judge her back. She also told me that she thought I was stalking her.

She told me that I was a nice guy, but he was just a better option.

She told me that she would be perfect for me, but then she said it was better to stay away.

What am I to do? Why am I always shoved aside, for someone better looking, or funnier, or more willing to use force to make a point? A few weeks ago, I couldn't help but sit and think to myself, "What did I ever do to you?" and I got no response.

Maybe if I started treating you like shit, you'd like me more. Maybe if I started ignoring you, you'd want me to pay attention. Maybe if I started being a dick, you'd find me attractive.

But we all know that's not true. And even if it was the solution, I'd never do it.

I'm sorry that I ended our friendship the way I did, but I had my reasons. It would kill me to see you with someone else, and to see you happy when I was torn up over you. Call it selfish if you want. Then look at all the shit I gave you. I don't care anymore.

I'm sorry that I weirded you out, but it wasn't without cause. You deserve far better than him, but you just can't see it, and you probably never will. And when you have brief glances of it, you shy away from it and go back to the easy route. I don't care anymore.

I'm sorry that I didn't give you everything you wanted. I only did what I was able to, and if that's not enough, then that's too bad. I know you haven't done all you can for me. I don't care anymore.

And all the while this is going on, and I'm squirming and making a right jester for you all, you just keep on laughing, never knowing when the joke is going to end. You roll your eyes when I'm sad, when I'm down, and you tell me to keep looking forward to all these good things, but it's difficult to when there's nothing to look forward to.

Always a joke.

Always a failure.

Always your toy.

Find someone else.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26629690/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26629690/ Mon, 17 Aug 2009 22:13:26 PDT
Let me put into words what frustrates me right now: PRESIDENT OBAMA, YOU'RE LOSING ME. I was a fervent supporter of Barack Obama once my man, Dennis Kucinich, dropped out of the race for president last year. I debated McCain supporters all over the web, I detested Sarah Palin. I thought that Barack Obama would be the best thing for this country after eight years of pure bullshit from George W. Bush.

I'm man enough to admit my mistakes, so here it is: I WAS WRONG.

I read this morning, on Yahoo!, that President Obama's administration is now considering dropping the public option from the healthcare reform bill.

WHAT.

THE.

FUCK.

I don't understand it at all. Why would a president who says he cares about the people, drop something so important as a public option from his version of health care reform? Because he'd be called a SOCIALIST? That word's not a big deal these days, you know. More people see "REPUBLICAN" as a negative term than "SOCIALIST." And for good reason!

Have you seen the Republican party lately? John Boehner, Eric Cantor, Michelle Bachman... are these people that you would seriously listen to? Sarah Palin is still a big voice in this party. Sarah. Palin. Do you see something wrong with that? I do. She was the one that highly publicised the bogus idea of the 'death panels' included in the health care reform bill.

For those of you on the outside, the 'death panel' phrase was coined by the head of a health insurance company. It's actually scary-talk for a bit in the bill that was submitted BY A REPUBLICAN, about the government covering end-of-life counseling. WHICH MEANS (basically) that if you want to set up a living will, the government will cover the cost of that conversation with your doctor.

That's what the public option is. It's the government footing the bill for your health coverage. What the hell is wrong with that?

Well, people like Katy Abram are of the opinion that this system will turn us into a socialist country like Russia or China. I have some news for you, Katy: YOU'RE TOO LATE!

Take for example, Medicare and Medicaid. Look at Social Security. All of these programs are funded by the government, and they've been called socialist by people on the right wing.

She also wants us to 'restore this country back to what our founders created, according to the Constitution.' What the hell does that mean? Does she want us to get rid of the government spying programs? I'll stand behind that. Does she want us to throw away the Patriot Act? I can support that, too.

What I think she means, though, is let's not go the socialist route, let's not cover everyone on a national health care plan. And I mean, come on, what has the government ever done that's right, right? Look at all the taxes we pay, and look at what they go towards.

My, how well we could do without infrastructure. We should just let all our roads and bridges and cities go to hell because it would cost too much to pay for them. We could let all of our schools just keep using the same text books and chalks for decades. We could just let people police themselves and run their own fire departments and hospitals because, let's face it, who wants to pay for those?

Well, if you want your country to thrive, someone has to pay for it. That somebody happens to be the people the government represents. You and I. Every average person, every member of congress, every judge on the bench, every governor, and the president of the United States. I hate paying them, too, but they go towards things that this country needs.

The way Obama has said he plans on paying for health care reform is something I can stand behind.

[link]

So where's the beef? Why are we suddenly taking this out? Because there are a whole bunch of militaristic loonies running around, talking about "OBAMA LIES GRANDMA DIES", and suddenly we take them seriously? I can understand how threatening they are, with their big guns to compensate for their other shortcomings, but have some goddamn integrity.

President Obama, you cannot waiver on this. You must pass this bill with the public option included, stand your ground, keep your word to the people. After all, how many people do you see that are quick to relinquish their Medicare, Social Security, or Medicaid? Other programs that, as previously noted, were seen as 'socialist' at their inception.

If you do waiver o... ]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26486345/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26486345/ Sun, 09 Aug 2009 14:56:23 PDT ===

I hate to tell you what you don't want to hear, but I love you and I think it would be difficult living without you. Worst thing is knowing you don't feel the same and still wanting it more badly than a right to live. I would go off and try to find someone else, but I know they could never be what you are to me. I tried waiving the feelings -- as if such things are possible -- and failed.

Two years, two months, and approximately 18 days and I can't get rid of it. People look at me funny when I tell them my reasons for wanting to leave the home I've got for something so unsure.

Alana thinks you like me, Angi thinks you might, I've even convinced myself at times. But I know you don't, that's a bigger bitch than anything.

I guess I just wanted you to know that I love you and nothing will change that. Guess you can try, though.

===

The cruel coincidence behind finding this note today is that today is the anniversary of my 600 mile journey to Chicago, IL. You all know the rest.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26474101/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26474101/ Sat, 08 Aug 2009 22:45:47 PDT
Excerpt from Introduction to Animal Rights: Your Child or the Dog?

I want to consider a number of questions about animal rights that I have confronted over the years. These are questions that have come up repeatedly, and they seem to appear whether the forum is in the United States or abroad, in Western nations or in non-Western nations, or whether the audience is composed of faculty and students from law schools, medical schools, veterinary schools, high schools, members of the general public who call in to a radio talk show, journalists, or neighbors at a holiday party. An examination of these questions will also help to demonstrate how the theory of animal rights that I have presented in this book is applied in concrete contexts.
Question 1: Domestic animals, such as cows and pigs, and laboratory rats would not exist were it not for our bringing them into existence in the first place for our purposes. So is it not the case that we are free to treat them as our resources?

Answer: No. The fact that we are in some sense responsible for the existence of a being does not give us the right to treat that being as our resource. Were that so, then we could treat our children as resources. After all, they would not exist were it not for our actions–from decisions to conceive to decisions not to abort. And although we are granted a certain amount of discretion as to how we treat our children, there are limits: we cannot treat them as we do animals. We cannot enslave them, sell them into prostitution, or sell their organs. We cannot kill them. Indeed, it is a cultural norm that bringing a child into existence creates moral obligations on the part of the parents to care for the child and not exploit her.

It should be noted that one of the purported justifications for human slavery in the United States was that many of those who were enslaved would not have existed in the first place had it not been for the institution of slavery. The original slaves who were brought to the United States were forced to procreate and their children were considered property. Although such an argument appears ludicrous to us now, it demonstrates that we cannot assume the legitimacy of the institution of property–of humans or animals–and then ask whether it is acceptable to treat property as property. The answer will be predetermined. Rather, we must first ask whether the institution of animal (or human) property can be morally justified.
Question 2: Rights were devised by humans. How can they even be applicable to animals?

Answer: Just as the moral status of a human or animal is not determined by who caused the human or the animal to come into existence, the application of a moral concept is not determined by who devised it. If moral benefits went only to the devisers of moral concepts, then most of humnankind would still be outside the moral community. Rights concepts as we currently understand them were actually devised as a way of protecting the interests of wealthy white male landowners; indeed, most moral concepts were historically devised by privileged males to benefit other privileged males. As time went on, we recognized that the principle of equal consideration required that we treat similar cases in a similar way and we subsequently extended rights (and other moral benefits) to other humans. In particular, the principle of equal consideration required that we regard as morally odious the ownership of some humans by other humans. If we are going to apply the principle of equal consideration to animals, then we must extend to animals the right not to be treated as a resource.

It is irrelevant whether animals devised rights or can even understand the concept of rights. We do not require that humans be potential devisers of rights or understand the concept of rights in order to be beneficiaries of rights. For example, a severely retarded human being might not have the ability to understand what a right is, but that does not mean that we should not accord her the protection of at least the basic right not to be treated as a resource of others.
Question 3: Does the institution of pet ownership violate animals’ basic right not to be regarded as things?

Answer: Yes. Pets are our property. Dogs, cats, hamsters, rabbits, and other animals are mass produced like bolts in a factory or, in the case of birds and exotic animals, are captured in the wild and transported long distances, during which journey many of them die. Pets are marketed in exactly the same way as other commodities. Although some of us may treat our companion animals well, more of us treat them poorly. In America, most dogs spend less than two years in a home before they are dumped at a pound or otherwise transferred to a new owner; more than 70 percent of people who adopt animals give them away, take them to shelters, or abandon them. We are all aware of horror stories... ]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26469052/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26469052/ Sat, 08 Aug 2009 17:26:06 PDT What is a vegan?

A.
A vegan (strict vegetarian) does not consume meat, dairy products, eggs, honey, or any product derived from an animal. A vegan diet can (and should) be full of a wide variety of delicious, nutritious foods, including vegetables, grains, nuts, legumes, seeds, and fruits. Vegans don’t wear leather, fur, silk, or wool. Many refuse to use products that are made with animal ingredients, products that are filtered using animal parts (such as some wines, beers, and white sugars), and products that have been tested on animals.

Q.
Other animals eat each other. Why can't we eat them?

A.
Predators in the wild kill other animals out of necessity. Without doing so, they wouldn't survive. On the other hand, we kill other animals by choice. Our bodies don't need meat at all. In fact, it has been consistently shown that a low-fat vegan diet is a lot healthier than a diet heavy with animal products. Rather, it is a matter of ethics:
Is it acceptable to inflict suffering on countless animals for something that isn't even necessary?

Q.
If you want to be vegan, thats fine. But, don't tell me what to do.

A.
Imagine saying to someone, "If you don't want to beat your dog, thats fine. But, don't tell me not to beat mine." While we are entitled to believe what we like, we are not entitled to treat others-....especially those weaker than we-however we like.
If we are responsible for harming others, people have every right to ask that we stop.

Q.
If the animals are raised to be eaten, isn't that okay?

A.
Two hundred years ago in the United States, humans raised other humans to be slaves. The fact that these people were raised to be slaves did not justify their slavery. Similarly,
raising animals for the purpose of eating them does not justify their exploitation.

Q.
Its impossible to live completely cruelty-free. Almost everything we do causes someone suffering. Why try at all?

A.
True, it is almost impossible to completely avoid causing any suffering in our lives. However, that doesn't justify an "open season" for flagrant animal abuse.
By adopting a vegan diet, we can drastically reduce the amount of suffering we cause in our daily lives.
Being vegan isn't about being "pure". It is about doing what we can-within reason-to remove our support for animal cruelty.

Q.
Where do you draw the line? Insects? Plants? Bacteria?

A.
There are some animals (such as insects) who we are not certain are capable of suffering. It is up to each individual to decide where she or he feels the line should be drawn exactly.
However, all ot the animals we raise and kill for food are able to feel pain.
Because of this, they deserve to be free from misery just as much as dogs and cats do. Also, because of their lack of a central nervous system, brain, pain recepters, and so on, it is certain that plants and bacteria do not suffer.

Q.
Humans are the smartest animals and we're the "top of the food chain." Why shouldn't we use our strength to out benefit?

A.
The argument that "might makes right" has been used by many to justify countless forms of cruelty and domination throughout history.

Just because we're ableto be cruel and violent doesn't mean that we ought to be.Vegans Save Lives Every Day!

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26425746/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26425746/ Thu, 06 Aug 2009 14:48:22 PDT
Everyone knows that I have a huge problem with online applications for the most part (the exception: Blockbuster, they care about your reading abilities). Don't get me wrong, I love it when things are put on the internet to make things easier and more convenient for those of us with a connection, and those of us who don't want to kill a ton of trees for applications that will all just get tossed out anyway. There's always been something sour with online applications to me, though.

They lack that... personality that a written application has. They lack the intimidation, the professional appeal of a paper application. Maybe I'm just weird (okay, I am just weird, but hear me out), but I would much rather take the time to fill out a piece of paper than go through the online process. More specifically, I'd rather fill out a paper application than go through the Best Buy application process again.

For anyone that knows me, you all know that I have a huge infatuation with Best Buy. Ever since they moved in a solid three minutes away from my house, I've spent more money there than any other store in the general vicinity (Wegman's aside). It is my favourite shop in the world, because they have everything, and they aren't as evil as the other big stores.

Or at least that's on the surface.

If you should be like me and decide, "Wow! I'd really like to work here and help them restock shelves as well as get my hands on some awesome discounts," you're probably going to fill out the Best Buy application on their website. I've filled it out four times, ever since the place opened in about 2006-ish. Thus far, I have yet to receive a call, despite this.

So I filled it out again last week, and I went in today to ask about it. I went up to the customer service desk like the polite young man in the arm cast said I should, and they proceeded to ask my name. They found it, and said that I failed the test at the end of the application.

This is my problem with online applications. Not that they take longer, not that they allow for more distractions, but that they put you through an "optional" test at the end of the application.

How much do you want to bet that if you take the test as "optional" and close the window right there, they don't even consider your application?

They wanna get inside of your head and crawl around and see what you're made of. Apparently, I'm so fucked up that I couldn't pass a retail test on an online application. Needless to say, I lost a little more faith in myself, and in the human race as a whole.

Hyperbole? Perhaps. But my experiences with Best Buy reminded me why I hate retail as a whole: you are required to be a zombie in order to get hired at a giant chain store, or know someone that's up pretty high in the pecking order at that specific branch.

Of course, maybe it's not the company standards, and just that I'm to blame because I'm such a detestable scoundrel. My, my. Who ever could hire one so evil and disgusting as me?

So, I'm making note to never shop at Best Buy again. I've shown initiative. I've applied there more times than any place else, I've shilled out tons of dough to their company, and when I want to get on their little 'team', I get turned down. Why? Because of a test that is labeled as "optional."

To quote a great writer, "Whatever."

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26195302/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26195302/ Sun, 26 Jul 2009 17:15:04 PDT
More specifically, I'm really on the fence about pot and its legalization. Do I support legalization of pot? Yes. Do I support arresting people who have illegal drugs? Yes.

Now most of you are probably asking, "Ron, you silver-tongued devil with a great body and amazing taste in everything under the sun, you can't possibly be serious! How does one support the legalization of pot, but also the arrest of people who have it in their posession? Surely there is some kind of paradox here!"

Well, good friend, not to take away from you, but I'm quite surprised you even know what 'aradox' means!

See, here's my stance on marijuana. As is with everything, it has its pros and its cons. It can make those with cancer hungry, and it can cause short term memory loss. I would name more, but frankly, I don't want to forget my point here like I normally do when I get off on a tangent.

Despite the fact that I support the legalization of marijuana (or 'ot', as the kids call it), I also support the arrests of people who have it on them illegally. This means any pot head in the States.

It's not because I don't like pot heads. If anything, they're some of the easiest people to get along with, I've found. But I believe that in this country, we should abide by the law. It is there for a reason.

I will submit, though, that this law was unfairly placed. In this case, the reason we even have anti-pot legislation is lobbyists for the lumber industry paying off politicians at the start of the 20th century to make pot out to be a bad thing. During this time, hemp was fast on its way to becoming the number one cash crop in the world. It was (and still is) used for paper, clothes, and health food. The wood people couldn't have this, and so they started publishing propaganda to turn pot into something evil (a la Reefer Madness).

I want pot to be legal. Really, I do. I think it can help this country in many different ways. It can single-handedly take out a big part of the 'War on Drugs' sold to us in 1969 by Dick Nixon and Elvis-goddamn-Presley. It can also make pot dealers obsolete in a way. Or maybe it can inspire people to start a corporation to distribute marijuana. We can tax this stuff and not lace it with dangerous chemicals like the cigarette companies would if they took over the pot trade. We can free up our prisons for people that deserve to be there. We can put out regulation that makes certain people aren't getting bad pot that leads to a mandatory stay in a hospital. And people are against it for... what reason again?

So there you have it. Playing both sides of the fence. I believe that drugs should be legalized and taxed, and I believe that until that happens, people should continually be arrested for breaking the law.

TL;DR version: I support the pro-pot movement, but I also believe in the school of DON'T BREAK THE LAW, ASSHOLES.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26056925/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/26056925/ Tue, 21 Jul 2009 22:19:28 PDT [link]). Well, I would like some help picking which one I should send in. SO... I will list the drafts here, and I would appreciate some opinions. So... check 'em out!

Draft 1: [link]

Draft 2: [link]

Draft 3: [link]

Vote count thus far:

Draft 1: 0

Draft 2: 4

Draft 3: 3

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/25454162/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/25454162/ Sun, 21 Jun 2009 13:31:51 PDT
I realize you're pretty busy with the whole slew of people still getting the Red Ring of Death on their X-Box 360s. I also realize you're hard at work with Windows 7. Not to mention all the ad campaigns for Internet Explorer 8 (the latest one with buried treasure somewhere on the internet is priceless). I was wondering, though, if you could focus a little bit more attention on something that, while it isn't making you as much money as you'd like, is still generating a microscopic portion of your income.

Some people, myself included, have this weird tendency to go out and buy MP3 players that don't involve a little piece of fruit on the back of it. I purchased a Zune in February, 2008, for $200. When I got it home, I was quite excited to see all the neat things it could do. For instance, play games! (Granted, that didn't come about until months later, but some things take time, so I'm willing to forgive that.) I could also sync my Zune wirelessly (or at least, that's what I've been led to believe), as well as send music to my friends for a finite amount of time.

Don't get me wrong, I love all of these little features, but I have one major problem with it, and that's how much of my CPU your software takes up. I started my computer up this morning, and it was running at about 30% usage. When I started up the Zune software, my usage shot up to 100%.

Maybe I just need to upgrade my computer for the billionth time in the last five years, or maybe you guys just need to make a program that doesn't rape my computer and hog my resources. It's really shameful that you guys can't take a hint from the people at Winamp, and make a program that is efficient, as well as decent-looking, and it only takes up about 20% of my resources.

Which isn't to say that Zune doesn't look good. It's beautiful! It's probably the most glorious MP3 playing program I've ever witnessed! But when you compare the two, Winamp is akin to a girl who knows what she's doing, and requires a minimal amount of maintenance; and Zune is like a gold-digging, money-grubbing whore that needs all of your attention, or else it freaks the fuck out and freezes your computer until you can spend more time and money on it in the Zune Marketplace, and then it leaves you for the jerk with the nice abs in the end, anyway!

What I'm saying is, make your software infinitely less shitty, or I'm buying an iPod like everybody else.

Signed,
R. Swarthout
A consumer

P.S. - Yes, I listen to the All-American Rejects. Fuck off.

P.P.S. - Oh, and also, that whole Zunepocalypse on New Years, '09? Yeah, you owe us.

P.P.P.S. - I also cannot change the mood thing now.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/25081187/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/25081187/ Tue, 02 Jun 2009 00:56:03 PDT [link]

The above is an incredibly relevent, and powerful entry sent to the Boston Globe in 2004. It is by a woman named Gretchen Voss.

With what's happened recently in the assassination of Dr. George Tiller, I think it's important that everyone read this and realize that abortion is far from a luxury or commodity the likes of plastic surgery.

It is a heartbreaking decision, and I doubt that many women want to go through what this woman described in her entry.

The next time you think about abortion, if the image that comes to your mind is that of an evil woman, think about this article. Think about the hardships described by this woman, and decide for yourself if this should be protested so violently by extremists. Decide if you believe that people should be killed because of their profession. Decide what you would do if you were in her shoes.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/24907769/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/24907769/ Sat, 23 May 2009 13:10:31 PDT ##You break the law and you preach##
##Screw my brain till it hurts##
##You`ve taken all my money##
##And you want more##

Have you ever felt as though life is worthless? Have you ever thought that sometimes, people just take things for granted, and it doesn't seem like they'll ever realize what they really have until it's too late?

It's come to my attention that lately, I've been giving too much attention to all the wrong people. People who take advantage of my ability to drive, my seemingly neverending income, despite the fact that I actually only have $40 in my bank account as I type this thanks to fiscal irresponsibility, and my non-judgmental attitude.

It is certainly no lie, and no surprise, that I hate people who do this to me. They try and bully me into doing what they want to, or persuade me using whining, and when I say no, they act as if I've wronged them in some irreconcileable way. Get over yourself.

Then there's people who come to me only to complain. I don't mind helping my friends through their problems, I don't care what they are, and gods know I ask for a LOT from my best friend, Alana, but when you start coming to me for a hangnail and an otherwise uneventful day, I get incredibly annoyed because I don't want to hear about it. There are much worse things happening in the world to focus on such trivial matters.

Don't get me started on people who seem to enjoy bringing attention to themselves by any means necessary. People who will do whatever it takes to get people to look their way, or add them on the newest social networking site that will no doubt make MySpace look like shit (although that doesn't take much these days).

Also, what's the fucking deal with everybody fucking everyone else? And then calling me to brag about it? I don't give a good god damn if you had sex with someone. It's not like it's going to be some kind of earth-shattering event, it's COITUS. You are either penetrating or being penetrated. I don't want to hear about your goings-on in bed. Ever. Period.

And another thing, on the last subject, why has everyone seemingly decided to get pregnant? Do you morons realize what you're doing, becoming parents at 17 or 18? I don't give a shit if you've established yourself a good job and everything, moved up to some good spot in a career you will be able to maintain even in financially tough times, but you shouldn't be getting knocked up unless you have the means to support the kid. And I know that many of you DO NOT fit these qualifications. Working at a fast food joint will not pay the bills, and buy food and diapers. Bottom line: wear a fucking rubber, or carry around a wire hanger.

What I'm saying is: guys, I don't care if you want to talk to me. I will converse with you gladly. Just don't do any of the above, or I will feel the overwhelming need to beat the piss out of you. OKAY?

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/24848173/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/24848173/ Tue, 19 May 2009 21:54:28 PDT
[ ] You have a short temper.
[x] You often act on your emotions without thinking first.
[x] You are very competitive.
[x] You like to play with fire.
[ ] You are not a strong swimmer or you can't swim at all.
[x] You prefer warm weather over cold weather.
[ ] You often lose control over yourself.
[ ] You can be quite reckless.
[ ] You sometimes hurt people without realizing it.
[x] People have often called you insane.
Total: 5

.:WATER:.

[x] You have a calm, laid-back personality.
[x] You like to go to the beach.
[ ] You rarely get angry.
[ ] When you do get angry, you know how to control it.
[ ] You think before you act.
[x] You are good at breaking up fights.
[x] You are a good swimmer.
[x] You like the rain.
[ ] You can stay calm in stressful situations.
[x] You are very generous.
Total: 6
Overall: 11

.:EARTH:.

[ ] You are physically strong.
[ ] You have a close connection with nature.
[x] You don't mind getting dirty.
[x] You form strong opinions on issues that concern you.
[ ] You could easily survive in the wild.
[x] You care about the environment.
[ ] You can easily focus on your work without getting distracted.
[ ] You rarely get depressed.
[ ] You aren't afraid of anything.
[ ] You prefer to have a strict set of rules.
Total: 3
Overall: 14

.:AIR:.

[x] You have a free spirit.
[ ] You hate rules.
[x] You prefer to be out in the open rather than in small, enclosed spaces.
[x] You hate to be restrained.
[x] You are very independent and outgoing.
[x] You are quite intelligent.
[ ] You tend to be impatient.
[x] You are easily distracted.
[x] You can sometimes be hyperactive and/or annoying.
[x] You wish you could fly.
Total: 8
Overall: 22

.: DARKNESS:.

[x] You spend most of your time alone.
[x] You prefer nighttime over daytime.
[x] You like creepy things.
[x] You like to play tricks on people.
[x] Black is your favorite color.
[ ] You prefer the villains over the heroes in movies, TV shows, video games, etc.
[x] You don't talk much.
[ ] You are atheist.
[x] You don't mind watching scary movies.
[ ] You love to break the rules.
Total: 7
Overall: 29

.:LIGHT:.

[x] You are very polite.
[ ] You are spiritual.
[x] When someone is in trouble, you never hesitate to help them.
[ ] You believe everything you see or hear.
[ ] You are afraid of the dark.
[x] You hate violence.
[x] You hope for world peace.
[x] You are generally a happy person.
[ ] Everyone loves to be around you.
[ ] You always follow the rules.
Total: 5
Overall: 34

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/24777017/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/24777017/ Fri, 15 May 2009 20:31:06 PDT ( ) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
Total: 5

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Anchorman
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
(x) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 11

( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
(x - Why I watched this, I have no idea.) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 16

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 22

( ) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30
(x) I,Robot
( ) Robots
Total so far: 25

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
(x) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
( ) KING KONG
Total so far: 31

( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
(x) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 38

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
(x - BORING!) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 41

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
(x) Seed of Chucky
(x) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 46

( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
(x) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
( ) Ocean's Eleven
( ) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Bourne Identity
( ) Bourne Supremacy
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 51


(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
( ) Rush Hour 3
Total so far: 58

( ) Best Bet
( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
( ) The Terminator
( ) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 61

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
( ) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Spider-Man 3
( ) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
(x) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
( ) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
(x) Shrek 3
Total so far: 71

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 73

( ) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
( ) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
( ) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
( ) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23665656/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23665656/ Thu, 12 Mar 2009 18:46:58 PDT
Something has really been bothering me lately. It isn't anything involving the usual suspects, it's something involving a friend of mine who has been in the centre of a lot of controversy of late. He's been a good friend of mine for years, and while he has flaws and little quirks that annoy myself, he's still a good friend. At least to me.

Brandon's very supportive, goodhearted, and he hasn't done a lot of wrong that I can point out. His choice of words can be questionable at times, I cringe whenever I see 'fag' or 'dyke' (and even then, those words are up for interpretation in terms of their offensive merit), but outside of that, he's not exactly a bad person, and yet he's treated as a pariah.

I'm not in high school anymore, obviously, so I don't know what goes on there. I don't know what he does there, and the only things I do know about are because of snippets I hear from my friends. Some of whom are quarreling right now for whatever petty reason they can find.

What I try to do is hear both sides of the story, and gather my own opinion on the happenings. People pick on Brandon for things like a scarf he wore months ago. I can't fathom why that's even relevant.

I hear constant degradation of his bass-playing skills, and while he certainly isn't the best bass player in the world, I have to ask what brings people to do things like this to him, and then call me a god when it comes to guitar? I'm no better than he is. I play mostly pentatonics, and most of them are the same scale, and yet everyone tells me that I'm godly and claim orgasms over my guitar work. Okay, that last part is false, but they may as well with all the compliments I get with the most basic things in guitarring.

I won't lie, I'm good at what I do. I'm a decent guitar player with a good variety in terms of style; however, Brandon can play all sorts of things, too. His riffs are eclectic and seem to lead off to nowhere, but to my knowledge (and those are three VERY important words), he only recently started taking formal lessons. At least, I only recently started hearing of them.

What people are doing, criticizing him on his skills, is like beating a straw man. He has a lot to learn, and he's still young. When I was in my junior year, I wasn't exactly the best guitarist in the school. That was a spot blatantly filled by Alex Low (in my opinion, and in terms of technicality and shredding ability). In fact, I wasn't even close.

I'm still convinced there were better guitarists than me by the time I graduated, and that there are better guitarists than me that have yet to graduate, and it's because they put the effort into learning their craft. Brandon works pretty hard at perfecting his.

I've criticized Brandon before on his playing abilities, so I'm not exactly without sin here. I've said that it's monotonous, that it's not the most creative music I've ever heard, and even that it's boring. I decided to look back at some of the music I've written. Guess what? That's boring, too! And on top of that, it's poorly constructed and not even in any specific scales. Just chords that sounded good together.

Another thing that really irritates me is how people talk about his girlfriend, Shannon. I don't know Shannon, personally. I seldom talk to her, and have had maybe two conversations in general with her, where the only real exchanges were, "hi". So there it is, I barely know her. That doesn't make it right to call her names and shit behind her back. Those people who have done it, know who they are.

How would you feel if someone went up to you and said nasty things about someone you love? Someone you love AND have been with in a committed relationship for almost a year? Something very, VERY few people I know can claim. Maybe a handful, at the most. And you people want to rag on this, and say awful things about it.

In a way, I'm glad. I'm glad that some of these people are young enough to outgrow this little phase of talking down to appear 'cool.'

People have told me that I need to stop talking to Brandon, and that I should just quit communicating with him altogether because he's annoying. You know, I was annoying at one point in time, too. In fact, I think everyone is at some time. I can testify to this because I have been annoyed with EVERY SINGLE PERSON I HAVE EVER KNOWN (this is fact, you can ask me about everyone I know, I will find a reason to have been annoyed at them at some point in time).

You know what, though? I don't end my friendships with them. I put up with it, I tolerate it, and while I hav... ]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23353679/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23353679/ Sun, 22 Feb 2009 22:06:52 PST
Yesterday was the big day, as I called it, when I volunteered at the Open Door Mission. The evening started with a meeting with one of the organizers, named Cindy. She was incredibly polite and gave me a tour of the headquarters on Plymouth Ave. She told me that the Mission often gets an incredible influx of volunteers around Thanksgiving, and apparently many don't know that you can volunteer any day of the week, basically.

Afterword, we went to the Main St. location. There were about thirty or forty people there, maybe more, including the other volunteers. There had to be about ten people in the kitchen, including myself.

One of them was a man named Captain (I highly doubt that's his real name, but it's fitting either way). He was pretty nice, and evidently, sees it as a way for him to serve God.

Things went incredibly smoothly. First, Hector from Index Patient (a local Christian band) went up and spoke some words about faith. It was surprising to me that he of all people was there, since my guitar/voice teacher is also in Index Patient.

We passed out all of the food (which included separate courses of salad, hot dogs, and cake for dessert) in approximately ten or fifteen minutes. The people attending seemed grateful, I was thanked on my way out, and I look forward to doing it again (I told them that Thursdays in April would be best for me, so we have it out of the way ahead of time, it would seem).

I used Sunday as kind of my 'day of rest'. It's not a very strenuous job or anything, doing these random deeds, it's just tough to come up with ideas, and besides all that, I had to do a whole lot to get back to the spot I was at in Dungeon Siege II last night, after the game died on me.

Nikko, Corinne, and I are all going for coffee tomorrow, so that should be fun.

I'm finding myself feeling stronger as days go on. I hope this continues, considering that in only five days (TECHNICALLY!) I am going to Myrtle Beach. Can. Not. Wait. A month next to the ocean should give me plenty of time to read, or go for walks, or check out the local music scene. Well, I can do all but the latter, anyway. I doubt I'll have the money to go to a concert or anything. Not that I mind, it's supposed to be time spent with my grandparents and the environment. I can't wait can't wait can't wait to be back in Myrtle Beach.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23297870/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23297870/ Thu, 19 Feb 2009 22:13:41 PST
Day five was really quite bare in terms of opportunities to do anything good. In fact, I can't even remember if I did anything worthy of the 'random acts of kindness' title, other than that note (which was technically written during day five).

I helped another good friend get over a bit of difficulty that had surfaced in her life, over people who were getting her down simply because of what's happened in the past. Obviously, something that I can empathize with. I basically told her that even though she's gone through some incredibly tough things, that she's still alive, that she is stronger for having survived it, and that she's surrounded by people who will help to make her life better even in the tough times.

I suppose I was good to myself as well in that I finally realized why I need to stop being weighted down by silly emotions.

Day six was a bit more prosperous (and by a bit, I mean a bit). I went to the mall and dropped $1.25 in the coin return at the vending machine. Hopefully, someone who wanted a drink cashed in on the loose change. It's one of the things I've wanted to do since I started this 'crusade' about a week ago.

I would go further into detail about everything I've said, but as I said, I only had two hours of sleep last night, so I need to rest. Right after a quick game of Starcraft.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23265051/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23265051/ Wed, 18 Feb 2009 03:48:51 PST
I need to get my schedule straightened out if I am to enjoy my stay in Myrtle Beach. This waking at all hours of the day and/or night is for the birds.

I got to do something nice, anyway. Or get the ball rolling. I started a group on Facebook, called Free Hugs Rochester. It will serve as my online database for people who want to sign up and partake in the festivities I hope to have planned on Saturday, April 18, 2009.

That gives me two months to gather up a group of people, to notify the owners of Village Gate Plaza, to make signs, to call the press and see if they want to cover a story like ours, and to prepare things to make the patrons of Village Gate enjoy their day a little more. I really hope this project takes off, since it would be a very big thing for me.

I also took the time to write another note to someone incredibly close to my heart. I'm just waiting for them to find it before I can fully consider it qualified for its own post. Hopefully the words I used weren't too cheap or tawdry, since they've been used many times before by me.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23245859/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23245859/ Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:13:52 PST
My random act of kindness for the day was to put the change I got back from a pizza my mom ordered into the jar for a fund to fight cancer. I didn't put bills in there, because my mom was paying for it, but I shelled all the coins that I had because I wanted to help out some.

Some might say that doesn't count for anything, because it's not really that difficult. Big deal, you dropped some coins in a jar that's going to fight cancer. Yeah, I know, not many people are saying that, but there are some that are probably expecting a random act of kindness to be something great and big every time.

The plastic jar at Mark's Pizzeria on Ridge Road is not very full. In fact, I think that the change I put in today landed all around the bottom of the jar. I donated a total of probably a little over $0.40 to the cause, and while it's a small, minuscule portion, it's still a donation. It's still money going to fight something that claims the lives of hundreds of thousands of people, and as the old saying goes, every penny helps.

My mom found the note I wrote last night, while I was sitting at a coffee shop with friends. She called me to tell me that she loves me, and that she'll keep the note forever. Even if I'm in a bad mood right this moment, even writing that makes me smile, and glad that I wrote it. She acted much happier after finding it, I found, and I was happy as well.

I got an e-mail from the folks at the Open Door Mission, asking me if I wanted to take a tour or just sign up. I opted for the tour, to be determined at a later date.

I went back to check on Alanna, to see if she had received the box of chocolates that I bought her a couple of days ago. She wasn't there, but Nikko and I were sent to pick up bread, so that wasn't my only reason for going, and I wasn't exactly disappointed by not running into her. There are plenty of other opportunities to say hi.

Lately, I've had time to reflect while I'm spending time away from talking to Thorn. I won't write too much about it, because it's probably a fleeting thought, and besides, it won't help me feel any better when I look back on this, but today, I was in a bad mood, and the reflections I made were THE reason for it.

This time and space is supposed to be dedicated not just to do random acts of kindness, but to get my mind off of my feelings for Thorn. Maybe I shouldn't include anything about her in here at all, but it would be ... deceitful, I suppose, to say that she hasn't been on my mind in some way. Today, it wasn't in a good way, and that's all I can really say. I hope that it doesn't stick around, because when I do go back, and I hope to talk with her again, I don't want it to be all awkward and negative.

Anyway, that's my post and my update for the day. I hope you're all feeling better than I am right this moment.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23227565/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23227565/ Mon, 16 Feb 2009 02:44:39 PST
Today wasn't as productive as yesterday, but it wasn't a complete wash, either.

I read through a list of things to do on HelpOthers.org, a great site for ideas for random acts of kindness, and I decided to try some of them out.

One of these was volunteering at a soup kitchen. Now, while I didn't make my way down to the city today, I did register to volunteer. I only hope that the Open Door Mission sends me something in the mail before I go away for the month of March.

I also took the time out to write my mom a heartfelt note. She's been under the impression that I don't love her or care about her or anything like that for some time. While I would love to go into detail about what I put in the note, I don't want to publicize it because I feel like it would cheapen its meaning. I'll tell you, though, that I said that I do love her, and that she is incredibly influential and inspirational to me, even if we don't see eye-to-eye on everything.

Sometime this week, or maybe the next, or maybe after March, I want to gather some friends and hold a rally of sorts at a public place. Not just a regular political rally or anything, but a rally to help peoples' days seem brighter.

I remember a couple of years ago, I saw a video on YouTube about this man, Juan Mann, who started a campaign for free hugs across the world. Or, in the video, in one mall in Australia.

It was a truly inspirational video for me, and it actually brought me to tears the first time I watched it (still brings a tear to my eyes at times).

So, what I want to do is go, with my friends, to the mall, or a park, or something, and basically give out free hugs to those seeking them. Part of the reason I got my first hug outside of my family was because of this video, and it's turned me into a different person than who I was before I went to Florida on my senior trip. I'd like to have the same kind of positive impact on other people in the area.

As tempted as I was to check back on Alanna, I decided not to. I don't want to come off as a stalker, as I apparently have in the past, and besides, it's not something that I should really bring up, anyway. Maybe in a few days, I'll go back to the store for something and see if she's working. Maybe I won't.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23207228/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/23207228/ Sat, 14 Feb 2009 23:50:21 PST
I also decided today that I will start a week-long (maybe month-long) crusade to do random acts of kindness, wherever possible, to try and remind myself why it's so satisfying to help others.

Today, I did that first act.

I happened to have a day where I went to Wegman's twice. The first time, it was to return cans; the next was to do a coin exchange (where I got about $49 back and blew it all on movies). Both of these times, I went to the cashier named Alanna. I have no clue who Alanna is, or anything about her, but I do know that by the second time around, she seemed to be a bit tired. Having experience in retail, I know how working the register can really drain you sometimes.

I went back a third time at around midnight, and I walked around a little bit. I told my dad that I was going to get some candy. I didn't lie to him. I went, and I got the last heart-shaped box of chocolates probably in the city, and I took it up to the register. Alanna wasn't there, but I guess that someone who knows her was.

I spoke to this person, told her that I had been there twice prior tonight, and that I had spoken with the person presumed to be Alanna. She gave me a description of the cashier from earlier, and it sounded pretty accurate. She told me the total, I gave her the money, and then I requested that this Alanna person get the box of chocolates.

As I kind of expected, she was rather taken aback by this. She asked what register Alanna had been working, and I pointed to the one at the far end, apparently number 18. So she took a piece of register paper and wrote out all the gory details, and that the box had come from 'the weirdo in the trench coat also known as Ron.'

We all had a good laugh.

I drove home tonight with a big grin on my face for the first time in a very long time. I feel so good about myself, it's ridiculous. I want to find things like this to do on a daily basis.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/21179204/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/21179204/ Sun, 26 Oct 2008 22:04:02 PDT Where do you belong
Don't be afraid
You're not the only one

Don't let the day go by
Don't let it end
Don't let a day go by in doubt
The answer lies within

Life is short
So learn from your mistakes
And stand behind
The choices that you make

Face each day
With both eyes open wide
And try to give
Don't keep it all inside

Don't let the day go by
Don't let it end
Don't let a day go by in doubt
The answer lies within

You've got the future on your side
You're gonna be fine now
I know whatever you decide
You're gonna shine

Don't let the day go by
Don't let it end
Don't let a day go by in doubt
You're ready to begin
Don't let a day go by in doubt
The answer lies within.

("The Answer Lies Within" by Dream Theater; lyrics by John Petrucci... yeah, that awesome guitar guy has a way with words, too.)

There's no other way I can really put this. I have issues. No, I have subscriptions.

Tonight, I went and scratched through my forehead, making sure that it bled before I stopped. I did this because sometimes, I feel like I don't have any control. Like I am being thrown around in a wind tunnel, and things are never as they appear.

I can't take things for face value, because when I have in the past, it's resulted in some nasty things happening to me.

I feel responsible for everything bad in my life because I've got this horrible need to shoulder blame. I told a counselor about this recently, and he told me that I was playing a role.

I can't stop talking about sex and innuendos and I don't know why. I keep on having dreams wherein I'm having sex, and I don't know why, other than because I'm 19-years-old and a guy.

I fear losing the one I love to someone else, or to myself. My problems make me feel so flawed that I fear if I brought them up with Thorn, she would get frustrated with me being so selfish, and walk away from me. And it hurts, because there's so much I feel like I need to tell her.

I fear changing, because I don't want to be what she didn't fall in love with. I don't want to be something different than what I was when we started going together. Her lost puppy.

At the same time, I hate being like this. Depressed, and ripping my face open, and seeing counselors, and not having a way to escape it.

I contemplate suicide sometimes, but I'm not so selfish. And I know that Thorn loves me. I just needed to say these things, and apologize for all of them. There's so much more, but I don't want to go into them, because I just... don't know where to start.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/21040066/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/21040066/ Fri, 17 Oct 2008 23:29:57 PDT
In early 2007, I attended my first meeting of the Odyssey Gay-Straight Alliance. I had a few friends in the group, and several acquaintances, and it was a good cause and something I believed in. It allowed the members an opportunity to raise awareness that members of the LGBT community face some horrible things because of the way they are. They face silence from friends, family, and people who don't even know them, because of their orientation.

In June, 2007, I graduated from the school and received a Regents diploma with distinction (I think that's the correct title, anyway). Something that ranks right up there in the proudest moments of my life, because I had finally made it, I was finally done with school and, ultimately, an adult.

I still go back to the school regularly to visit my friends that are still attending, and I still make new friends there every now and again. I get along with a lot of the staff, and even the front-office despite run-ins we've had in the past involving my brother.

Last night, I did what I normally do every (now every-other) Thursday after school hours. I attended a GSA meeting, I saw my friends, and I saw people who I have yet to get to know because they're all new to the ever-expanding group.

When I entered the room, everyone had somber expressions on their faces as they listened to Mrs. Sheila Evans, my former high school counselor and -- as far as I'm concerned -- a lifelong friend. When I walked in, I was told that there was some bad news.

So, I sat down on the table behind my friends, and I waited until Sheila had finished what she had to say. Then, Amelia, Matt, Tami, and Nico turned to me and told me the bad news: I could no longer attend GSA meetings, nor could Matt. In fact, anyone who had graduated already could no longer attend meetings of this, or any other group.

When I first heard this, I was shocked. I was also dumbfounded, since the school is supposed to be an open community, wherein alumni can visit and support their friends.

When I heard the reason behind the banning of myself and friends from the meetings, it is easily said that I went from being shocked and dumbfounded, to being incredibly annoyed. Apparently, a parent of someone in the group decided that they didn't want their children hanging out with someone of Matt's age (21-years-old).

The Gay-Straight Alliance has faced many challenges in its time at Odyssey. It has faced complaints, and been on the brink of shutting down, but because of our principal's standpoint, she would not let one complain shut it down, because the complaints held no merit.

The Day of Silence that the Gay-Straight Alliance partakes in yearly is not an act of protest. It is, instead, an act of free speech. We never protested a thing, we raised awareness. I would love to live in a world wherein there is no more discrimination against people, and 'gay' is no longer used as an insult, but that was not the purpose of the Day of Silence, regardless of how people may interperet it at times.

However, when this one parent came forward and said that there should be an age restriction, a restriction on alumni, our principal folded.

In my opinion, it's terrible that I can no longer visit my friends and partake in their group activities just because I've graduated. As far as I'm concerned, I am still part of the Odyssey community, and I will be for a long time. I even played at their Coffee House tonight despite their policy of making the performers pay $12 at the door, just so they could play.

There was no problem with that, but there is a problem with me keeping in the loop with my friends at the GSA? Well, you know what they say: money talks.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/18177604/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/18177604/ Mon, 05 May 2008 08:51:01 PDT Sometimes I feel a little mad
But don't you know that no one alive
Can always be an angel
When things go wrong I seem to be bad
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Baby, sometimes I'm so carefree
With a joy that's hard to hide
And sometimes it seems that all I have do is worry
Then you're bound to see my other side
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
If I seem edgy I want you to know
That I never mean to take it out on you
Life has it's problems and I get my share
And that's one thing I never meant to do
Because I love you
Oh, Oh baby don't you know I'm human
Have thoughts like any other one
Sometimes I find myself long regretting
Some foolish thing some little simple thing I've done
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood"
-B. Benjamin/S. Marcus/C. Cadwell
"Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood"

I have established what my problem is: I really am a creep! Not to mention overzealous and a tad on the loony side. Not to say it's without cause, but holy damn, I've probably driven so many people away with that and I should really cut back on it if I don't want to lose someone incredibly dear to me. Question is: how? I've been neurotic about people since about the 10th grade when this girl I used to know was freaked out by the fact that I had a crush on her. Ever since, it seems like I want to drive people away for some unfathomable reason. People I really, really care about. Or at least one person. And trust me, it gets old going to bed and fearing that the next time you talk to said person, you may not be as important as you were before.

Of course, this is all stupid, spaz-tastic, should-be-medicated, -sedated, and -liberated musings formed by someone who didn't get enough sleep last night because of a certain two-ton gorilla waking him up at 7 a.m. At least I'll get to bed early tonight.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/17573581/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/17573581/ Sat, 29 Mar 2008 12:56:44 PDT
]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/17385793/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/17385793/ Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:21:49 PDT [Me] (10:09:31 PM): *Shrugs* I'unno, I assume you. And Red. And a lot of other people. But when I fell into that lake after having my face crushed by a folding chair with a suspicious-looking bird imprint, I stopped being known as Ron Swarthout, sender of weird shit, and started to be known as the Phantom of the Chair! ... Granted, many people choose to interchange these, which is just fine.





]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/17203262/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/17203262/ Wed, 05 Mar 2008 23:10:37 PST
I might lose my job at Spencer's soon. Can imagine I'm fucking ecstatic about that. Fuckers decided that my head wasn't "in the game". Sorry I don't catch dozens of shoplifters. Sorry I'm sluggish on days I THOUGHT I had off. Sorry I don't come in EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU CALL AFTER SOMEONE THAT HAS VOLUNTEERED TO DO THE JOB THE NEXT DAY PULLS OUT AT THE LAST SECOND.

I'm at a point where I just want to slam my fucking head on the desk over and over and over again because everything is so frustrating.

There's a whole lot of other shit I have left pent up. I have to get it out somehow. I don't know how I can without risking everything to me.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/17116239/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/17116239/ Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:36:29 PST
The Raptor-Red Mini-City! Join today or PERISH!

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/17001788/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/17001788/ Thu, 21 Feb 2008 23:25:14 PST
I. Am. Psyched.

As soon as I get an opportunity, I am withdrawing (almost) every penny and putting it in another bank account so I will not be tempted to spend it on stupid stuff.

I feel so Republican, getting this excited over money.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/16588507/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/16588507/ Sat, 26 Jan 2008 21:52:59 PST The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things/hates about yourself" and people who get tagged MUST write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things/hates as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read yours..

1. I worry too easily.
2. I love metal too much.
3. I am bored off my ass too often.
4. I am way too nice.
5. I am a gigundo nerd.
6. I try too hard sometimes (Yeah... SOMETIMES).

I tag...


Tagged by...


]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/16174582/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/16174582/ Sun, 30 Dec 2007 22:50:11 PST
I've made some great friends in the way of Ryan, Ally, and Sam.

I met some cool people at MCC, I attended until November 23, then I dropped out because I couldn't handle the stress of all the other things. Right this second, I am debating whether I want to go back there, or try my luck elsewhere (specifically Truman College in Chicago since I've already been accepted there) to get away from the distractions of home.

My family has dismissed this as a bullshit reason, in very dramatic fashion, without considering my need for peace. They told me I should live with my grandparents if I want peace, but I don't want to.

I want to get away from this place, because no matter how awesome my friends are, they aren't enough to keep me anchored here. There's way too much else stirring beyond my calm facade, some things that just can't go unsaid and undone, I need to get out of here, I need to see what I can while I can. I've been cooped up in this city for 18 years of my life, and I want to find something else.

Will it be easy?

No. And it certainly won't be cheap. But that's why I'm working at Spencer's.

To get out of here. Away from bad memories (even though my notion is that people are bad all over, and bad memories will spawn regardless).

Anyways, yeah, meaningless, vague update for you. I'm shutting up now.

]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/13140238/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/13140238/ Tue, 29 May 2007 15:41:54 PDT
Tomorrow came and it went as normally as it always did until Amelia pulled me aside in the hallway before lunch and gave me a note that said only on it, "I'm sorry I hurt you." I figured, "This cannot be good," and, as I guessed it wasn't.

Ron,

You can take that line both ways (that is if you're thinking of the two I am) 1st way) sorry I beat on you, what can I say I'm violent! *Shrugs* 2nd Way) We need to take time "off." Before you crumple this piece of paper up let me explain. First you're a really great guy! I love being around you. Second, I feel as though my space is being invaded, it's noot your fault, I wasn't very clear when and when I don't want you to touch me. Third and most of all, I'm really stressed right now! That's the biggest reason. My family is constantly fighting and that anger I take to school, so then I get miserable and take that misery to play practice which beats me up. Then throw the fact that I'm looking for a job and have a boyfriend. Now, if I did my math right, that equation equals a fairly complicated life. I just need some time to rest. I also think that you spend way too much money on my behalf! I owe you so much but have so little right now. All I'm asking for is a "break." Give me some time till after the play, then we could start where we left off... or we could break up entirely and just be friends (if you even want to talk to me still) but just wanted to tell you this 'cause it's been bugging me.

Love ya! Amelia

As soon as I was finished reading it, I decided that I needed to get out of school since there was nothing that ruined a cheeseburger quite as well as a note like that. At least, at first. When I got home, I decided that I was willing to wait and give her the time she needed to make herself a lot more comfortable during what was supposedly a difficult time for her. Then, February 9, 2007 came around. I picked her up after chorus, like I normally did back then, and she said she needed to talk with me, I said okay, and she told me she wanted to break up with me. I said I didn't want that, and she began to cry, and I hugged her as tight as I could. I kissed her on the forehead and she walked into study hall with her head low and I walked to my current issues class quite the same.

After school, I went to her and told her I wanted to make it work, but she refused to give it another chance. I said, "okay, that's fine- I'll still be here for you," and left her to have fun with a group of mutual friends before her play practice. Later that day, after a friend of mine told me something that absolutely pissed me off at Amelia, I went home and wrote a blog that dragged her name through the mud unlike anything's ever been dragged through the mud before and even had an internet fight with her for the good part of two days over it. Around 9:00 PM on the following Sunday, after viewing a sketch of hers, I began to feel like absolute shit for doing that to her.

The next day, she came up to me, not having seen the apologies I'd left all over the place for her and started yelling about how it was killing her that I was doing that to her, to which I responded with, "It's all my fault, don't worry about it, I'm sorry," et cetera, and then we had the biggest hug I do believe we've ever had in the time we've known each other. Around this time, I was still absolutely enamoured by her, I loved her like I hadn't loved anything else before, and I had just started to see a counselor to make myself a stronger person, and because I knew I needed the counseling even before I started going out with Amelia.

I was absolutely inspired by her in this time, I produced countless sketches and drawings that were posted on my deviantART account soon after their completion, I wanted to go out with her again because I was still absolutely in love with her. I can only assume she might have sensed this. We kept in frequent contact still, but I didn't bother to call her as much as I did when we were still together. The night of the first production of Annie Get Your Gun, she called me and talked with me, asked if I was still ushering and I said that I was and that I wanted to talk with her after the play. She said "okay," and I did my damndest to get my courage up to ask her out again since I don't exactly do that every day and this was a pretty big deal to me.

I purchased a fake rose for her, simply because they last forever.

I got al... ]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/12071302/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/12071302/ Mon, 05 Mar 2007 17:20:13 PST Odds are, you won't like what it is
When the storm arrives, would you be seen with me?
By the merciless eyes of deceit

I've seen angels fall from blinding heights
But you yourself are nothing so divine
You're just next in line

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you
Their odds will betray you
They'll never replace you
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die?

The coldest blood runs through my veins
You know my name

If you come inside things will not be the same
When you return to the night
If you think you won
You never saw me change
The game that we have been playing

I've seen this diamond cut through harder men
Than you yourself
But if you must pretend
You may meet your end

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you

The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die?

The coldest blood runs through my veins

Try to hide your hand
Forget how to feel
(Forget how to feel)

Life is gone with just a spin of the wheel
(Spin of the wheel)

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you ready to die?

The coldest blood runs through my veins
You know my name
(You know my name)
You know my name
(You know my name)
You know my name!
You know my name!
You know my name!

-"You Know My Name" by Chris Cornell-

=====

I've established that there isn't any kind of establishment to be had in life. Not yet, anyways. I've decided that there's way too much to do in life to get dragged down by all the negatives, I have to live in the positives and accept things for what they are- no doubt, I'll still try to change some things, do what's necessary for myself and my friends in life, but I always find myself on the pessimistic, cynical, antagonistic side of everything and it's getting pretty monotonous. I want to be happy, just like everyone else- I already made this point in my last blog, but this time, I'm not feeling bad, I'm feeling good. And such is the bi-polar world of the MegaRon.

See, at the beginning of the week, I was mad because my ex-girlfriend got someone new during a "stressful" time for her- I tried my best to ignore her and be friendly ONLY where it was needed because I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. Then, today, just about an hour ago, I had a complete change of heart, which isn't uncommon for me, obviously. I've decided that when I said I wanted only what made her happy, I fucking meant it. I want her to be happy because she's still learning who she is and what she stands for, what she wants to be, all that stuff we all went through in the adolescent years. It's not fun, and to have someone older than you stop talking with you over something so petty as a high-school relationship, well, that just makes things worse. I've come to the realization in the last few hours that I don't want to hate anybody, especially Amii, but at the same time, I don't want to be in the situation where I let everybody walk all over me and expect an infinite amount of forgiveness.

I've decided that I want everybody I know, even the acquaintances, to be happy in some way, shape or form- to find their own path to happiness, to be glad they're alive and do the most they can with their lives. For the time being, I'm very happy- I'm happy that I got the time with Amelia that I did, I'm happy that I felt what I did while I was with her, and I'm happy that I can now move along into the future without having to worry about "us." Will it hurt to see her and her new boyfriend together? For a bit- but I'll get used to it. Jeff seems like a good guy, I'm sure she'll be happy with him for however long they're together, and that's all I really want. For her to be happy- for her to wake up, and have a reason to smile, even if that reason isn't yours truly, because to deny anybody of their smile is just wrong. Next week, I might feel differently about this- I might be depressed, I might be angry, I might be the complete opposite of my now-euphoric self, but that's not something I can control. That's just how time acts on me (or, rather, how I allow time to act on me).

Today, I got back in contact with someone I haven't talked to for more than twenty minutes in more than two months. I caught up with her on some things that we really needed to get caught up on- h... ]]> ~MegaRon http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/11757267/ http://MegaRon.deviantart.com/journal/11757267/ Sun, 11 Feb 2007 19:34:03 PST Don't tell me you wanted me
Don't tell me you thought of me
I won't, I swear I won't
(Did)
I'll try, I swear I'll try
(Lie)

Mother Mary quite contrary
Kiss the boys and make them wary
Things are getting just a little bit scary
It's a wonder I can still breathe

Never been much of a doubting Thomas
but nothing breaks like a broken promise
You tell me 'bout your two more coming
but once is just enough for me

]]> ~MegaRon