http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:MelancholyDreamer&section=today deviantART RSS for by:MelancholyDreamer en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 17 Dec 2009 03:19:14 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/28345846/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/28345846/ Sat, 14 Nov 2009 04:02:08 PST

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/27510069/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/27510069/ Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:48:09 PDT Had some fear to get around
You can't say what you don't know
Later on won't work no more

Last time through I hid my tracks
So well I could not get back
Yeah my way was hard to find
Can't sell your soul for piece of mind

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me, my dear
It took a world of trouble, took a world of tears
Took a long time... to get back here

Try so hard to stand alone
Struggle to see past my nose
Always had more dogs than bones
I could never wear those clothes

It's a dark victory
You won and you also lost
Told us you were satisfied
But it never came across

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me, my dear
It took a world of trouble, took a world of tears
Took a long time... to get back here

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me, my dear
It took a world of trouble, took a world of tears
Took a long time... to get back here

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me, my dear
It took a world of trouble, took a world of tears
and took a long time... to get back here

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/27509091/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/27509091/ Wed, 30 Sep 2009 17:59:12 PDT Well in either case; enjoy!
[link]
^________^

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/23849143/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/23849143/ Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:27:50 PDT [link]
just posting my last.fm account on herree.... sooo yeah. O_____o;;;;;;;;;

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/23431740/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/23431740/ Fri, 27 Feb 2009 11:33:31 PST I think that this will reinvigorate me creatively.





also [link] go here to see what I've been listening to as of late, hahaah

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/22250371/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/22250371/ Sun, 28 Dec 2008 20:48:53 PST
[link]
lalalalaalaaaaa


]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/22084675/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/22084675/ Sat, 20 Dec 2008 12:18:14 PST [link]
x3 love this song, just thought I'd share that with you guys *grooves*

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/21481893/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/21481893/ Fri, 14 Nov 2008 08:49:28 PST
!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/21343909/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/21343909/ Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:14:24 PST
I don't really know how to tell you this, our horoscope doesn't match. I think I realized it when your dog ran amok in your camping car and I saw you carve your initials into my best friend. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of the incarnation as an eskimo.

Greetings to your frog Leonard,
MelancholyDreamer

Let's see.... I tag...
SatanNintendo
Juno-Gemini
JediKaputski
Obi-quiet



RULES:
Do the "Letter MEME". Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

-> How you do the Letter Meme:


1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister


2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes


3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife


4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out


5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk


6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed


7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks


8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service


9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college


10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/20222118/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/20222118/ Fri, 29 Aug 2008 16:26:31 PDT [link] up on youtube, XDDD yet another excuse for me to make somethin stupid and crazy!

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/18381047/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/18381047/ Sun, 18 May 2008 10:46:22 PDT watching it tick tick tick
tricking me into a belief,
that there is "time" at all.
Bent over on the street side is the lone gunmen out on a stretching course built for no one except for those who already know where it is.
References can go out beyond the nothingness, rarely do I care, where the boats may go, but today I am beginning to lose some sleep over it, maybe more then sleep, but who cares, well I do, but that doesn't matter, what does matter, is that all that confusing imagery, and information, is clogging up the very infestations I was trying to prevent, how charming dear!
My head is lost as my eyes glance up and down at the keys and screen, beautiful combinations, to try and unlock a sea of inner greed, hey watch me create! hey watch me fave!
How dare I say this, but there ya go, watch me, talk me, talk me into this, into that, shape me up, however you want, shake me up, wherever you want, like a bottle of pop, I'll be ready to explode sooner then I expected, but hey thats not to be bad once you get back down to Earth, yeah, and here I thought, I was gonna leave, but now I realize I can't stay, here or there, so somewhere within the firey tangly confines of my brain. I realize something, how truly bizarre am I!
With a hearty laugh, I shake off the dust on the inside, AND out.

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/18380837/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/18380837/ Sun, 18 May 2008 10:32:04 PDT "Tell me sweet nothings. For I am nothing. But the rich of the lowest order. The kind I dare not name. For I'm a juggling witch, with blindfolded eyes, cherry trees lopped to the side, with my bloody ax!
My pitiful story, IS for the fainted of hearts, drowning in a sea of mindless dribble,
I forgot myself long ago, watching the shattered echoes of a lawn furnace, burning away all signs of future evidence, the happiness of childhood, if it ever truly existed, is merely a skilled sketch mark, a truly blackened scorch mark, hidden underneath my blindfolded eyes...
My bloody twirly axes of fire, do your dirty work!
Desire burn! Burn your wicked crucifixes! Blamed; only by name, because of your wicked sinful tongues!
Hear me out! For I do not wish to shout... these cruel 'jokes'...
For curses....
You shall call me, Lady Luck, the truest form, of a dirty fuck, how cruel of thee, to proclaim such authoritative authority!
Thee author,
with bloody fingernails, scratching at my head, serves the dish soup
(strange turtles shells...)
Would it seem so cruel of me, to limber on, to another echo again?
My dear audience.... of black trees, of upside wells, spilling out the lies and the truths!
Ah the strength of death! How to say how and how all over again, without making a sound, to clamor no church bells, to make no steps outside of your stoney walls!
Not locked away inside of your slumber electronica! (Paused frames of lifes stillness)
The same thing, that has been damned to hell, is not all the same....
Your bloated deflated ego, shall curse me,
in name
state
and address.
For my state; I wear no dress, speakin in tongues with no names, languages without thoughts or words...
a kind of mumbling insanity....
How delightful!"

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/18330387/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/18330387/ Thu, 15 May 2008 02:29:08 PDT lay a storm a brewing
the stubble
just so lightly laying
on my face
explains to me
the pain
strain
of boredom
slowly making me crawl
up this dumb hill.
Thirty Minute Brawl
lost for words
cannot think
don't think
says a voice from behind
I smile and nod
at this persons advice
but unfortunately
thats all I do
or
well I think that I do
all the time....
to listen
to not listen...
to be be imaginitive right now
but no...
its this slow
agonizing crawl,
up the dumb hill
trying to find myself again
hidden in disarray
Thirty Minute Brawl
don't think
says a voice form behind
your a lost a record skipper
skipping along the banks of the river
stuck
between
two eyes
yours and mine
the ghost
and the reality
the cold hard floor
the warm air
sing me a song
so I can finally sleep in peace
no more anything,
no more nothing,
no more,
no more.
(Aye yie yie....
always scratching...
my head...
for ideas....)

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/18299588/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/18299588/ Tue, 13 May 2008 03:42:51 PDT [link] just finished a new vid!!! hurray for high levels of annoyance!
as Lord Beckett says: "Thats Annoying..."

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/18016926/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/18016926/ Fri, 25 Apr 2008 03:16:37 PDT [link]

HAHA SELF PROMOTION!!! O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/18002602/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/18002602/ Thu, 24 Apr 2008 06:15:25 PDT yep this Dave Mathews Band song is always good!
I remember the video too hahaha
umm pointless journal entry!!! WOOOT!!!!

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17890903/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17890903/ Thu, 17 Apr 2008 04:44:45 PDT [link] random vid ATTACK!!! WHOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17871168/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17871168/ Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:49:46 PDT a strange light
echoes in the corner
of my eye
painfulness
as it always was
this is how life
throttles us,
up so high,
down so low.
The well is dry
but I'm still singing
down into it
another echo
of an echo
of another echo
cruel fates
like filthy snakes
slurp and swirl
into my veins
like black gloves
fitting smoothly on my hands
that bad ass attitude
we can never conjure up
too slow
with this mini vacation
to scribble another lullaby
I'll be loling,
rolling around
in the blackness
until another (another)
comes along
to sweep up my lazy bones
well well well
tell tell tell
dwell dwell dwell.
Rollin,
rollin on down,
till theres no more dust
to gather.

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17855330/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17855330/ Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:38:01 PDT
]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17722433/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17722433/ Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:20:17 PDT

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17656023/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17656023/ Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:52:17 PDT drowning sound,
little tiny words
huge explosion,
such thick nooses
such tired noodles
I wish I could whistle
for you
the slumbering bells,
of old,
of all,
for all,
by all,
for one,
for all.
But by which way,
god I have no clue,
I never had one
never had the blankness
never had the clarity
never had the....
oh wait,
I do,
have this,
have that,
that feeling
of being a lotus flower
trapped and trampled
in the mud
just waiting
begging
to blossom
as the tired computer rays
sing me to sleep
I'll wish to say one more thing
then drift away...
drift away
towards very well known destinations..
well
I would love to believe so
so sweetly..
yes very much so,
as I always say
"Better to be lost
then to find your way."
No wait,
I don't say that,
either way I'm growing tired,
day by day
words aren't coming out
fast enough.....
or strong enough.....
words aren't coming out
like they use to...

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17363585/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17363585/ Sun, 16 Mar 2008 13:23:18 PDT

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17306756/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17306756/ Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:53:33 PDT
gonna dress up as Spike Spiegel as usual, and I'm gonna try Captain Harlock, xD if I dont go insane from being lazy or something with it O_O
AHHHHH!!!!!!!
[link]
[link]
well whatever, it still is fun to ponder something different... and I still need to watch more episodes of Space Pirate Captain Harlock... oh well... O_O_O_O_O_O___O_O_O_O_O_O_OOOO___OO

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17026310/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17026310/ Sat, 23 Feb 2008 13:43:27 PST

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17024211/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17024211/ Sat, 23 Feb 2008 11:20:20 PST a lone flute player,
sitting atop,
drifting into a slumber
of what use to be
memories of a love
that barely happened
that barely
hit the surface
lasted only
such a short span
attention to the sky
attention back
to reality
we are here,
here to stay,
simple words,
are greatest gift
no more
complicating things,
as you slide
down the trees
the branches
like welcoming arms
bring you down
your smile
and the sun shine,
paused
in this moment,
looking,
to nowhere.
Bears and jaguars,
jungles in Peru,
UFO's floating all around,
the beaming disco lights
a truely godly techno bar
thundering sounds
a truely kicking beat
a million inhabitants
as you smile
seeing all the people
you've ever met
as the clock strikes
like lightning
on the numbers 2012.

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17024131/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17024131/ Sat, 23 Feb 2008 11:14:03 PST Don't find your face in your glass
Take the moonlight by the tail
It's a rainy sight You're shading

What is that It's just the same
What is trying in your crown
I'm spending in my glass, walking back
So wear my glass You're fading
I'm waiting so long...
I'm waiting so long...
I'm waiting so long...
I'm waiting...

Blowing up The storm's around
Don't turn your face to your back
In a silence Have a better dream
Sing into the wind You're shading
The rainy winds will wash away
All what your want in your crown
There is an end but it's endless
Though anywise we're fading
I'm waiting so long...
I'm waiting so long...
I'm waiting so long...
I'm waiting...

What is that It's just the same
What is trying in your crown
I'm spending in my glass walking back
So wear my glass You're fading
I'm waiting so long...
I'm waiting so long...
I'm waiting so long...
I'm waiting so long...
I'm waiting so long...
I'm waiting so long...
I'm waiting so long...
I'm waiting...

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17023986/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17023986/ Sat, 23 Feb 2008 11:01:52 PST of the coffin,
the echoing rain
how to beat on these drums loud enough
for you to hear
for me to hurt my own ears
I don't know anymore
the echo of the sky light
bounces back to me
singing softly
an obsession
I have let to let go
dance with me sweet serenity
the ghost woman of my dreams

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17016452/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17016452/ Fri, 22 Feb 2008 20:51:55 PST stop,
breath in life,
stop,
no,
don't stop,
arise,
glowing eyes,
fire alive,
blackened skies
starlight staircases
so few words
such little time
music video projections
screaming from my brain
electronic lightning
rocketing
our little tiny rock
surfing through frozen ice
ahhh
such few words...
pull it back..
pull it back..
stop,
then,
don't stop
so...
hard..
to..
balance...

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17012814/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/17012814/ Fri, 22 Feb 2008 16:49:20 PST
Here we stay, on the edge of oblivion, the dark hurricanes melt sugar canes and bury my blanket soul into a digging ditch for the Dutch-made coffin; strewn about on rivers and candies and heart shaped machine guns, a funeral for the glowing skeleton alien soul, oh oh no no, not the words of some brainwashing cult mind you, I am speaking in terms of what I sense, not what they sense, so shh shhh, shh shh, take it slow, I dare not speak of it any further, anymore further ideas, and the watch dogs, might bite my back with the power of a trembling fist, I'll be pounded dead, until i come back again, resurrected, as someone else... more important..
the galactic confederacy, the bullshit lies, my interest...
fades away...
my eyes... linger on the keyboard..
as my tongue...
bounces to the rhythm of each word
so silently,
closed so deep,
I am volcano
exploding
then pulling back
the red carpet,
pulling back
my tongue
my voice
deeper and deeper
then I would like to,
I would love to,
let it all out
scream and shout
be as happy and musical
as I could ever be
until I would be...
shot dead..
by the search lights..
of common place..
my fear..
will grab my poor heart...
trembling in fears fist,
trembling fists,
smashing me down
pound pound pound
forever trapped
in this cycle
like my body
wrapped around a tire
rolling around and around
rolling away
from common sense..
twirling out of insanity
and floating back into
foaming sanity
I lay amongst the bubbly bubbles
and smile a cutey smile
"Theres my
happy smiley smiley
No other words
need be spoken
with a blow of my lips
I'll whisk away
every single bubble
covering me
in this bath."

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/16978649/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/16978649/ Wed, 20 Feb 2008 14:20:23 PST [link]
yes yes I know, kinda of a weird name to have and then make funny sites, llllllololololololollllllll

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/16595927/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/16595927/ Sun, 27 Jan 2008 11:35:22 PST To really answer such a question, I would have to stop, drop and roll a thousand times before I could even begin to understand that, or even really being to quest for a question that could logically deduce where the sun shines and where it doesn't.
A big role in my play, plays the part of the dastardly evil villain who tells you to stop and give it up, but no you won't listen and you keep fighting, for what? I don't know. I answer again and again. There is no answer, only silence.. but then.. doesn't that make it.. the answer?
Silence is key? No afraid not, life is not one answer, but a million answers, jumbled into one, one big clusterfuck, that you have to sort out piece by piece, one big jigsaw puzzle scattered through the universe in your mind, whether it be tattered or anti matter, it doesn't matter, the block you twist your shoes around keeps molding and twisting and turning into a new block, the street signs glow like an aftershock of an atomic bomb, I don't even know what means..
The means to supply the ends, the endings supplying the meanings, the beginnings to screw up the storylines..
The confused creator, creating nothing.

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/16043025/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/16043025/ Sat, 22 Dec 2007 11:34:05 PST I cry like a loud elephant
who has seen too much
and shrunk down
to a withered old monkey
bam bam bam
Gods pistol blows me down
but I still bow before him
in any other town...
whichever I may never decide to leave
this is my state
state of mind
turning and burning bombs
going off in my blackened ear drums
BANG BANG!
I spring back and forth
unable to conjure a spell
screw my nails
they're much too tightly twisted
hot cold volcanos
on and off
I can't say
where the weather is blowing me now
now that I'm away
from that stupid factory..
where "don't" I go from here?

Thinking inside a box
smashing it while I'm outside
unable to think
only under a shower sink
drip drop
the hot
hot water
boiling me back to life
no no shhh
its really warm
I was just being..
so sarcastic..
no no no...
I don't care
what voice I bear
the socially crippled feelings
the weary avoiding eyes
that are mine
avoiding all stares
but now theres no point
for the paranoia
I'm off the job..
I hated most now..
no more mean people
to work with..
so now here I sit at home
trying to relax myself now...
with one heavy sigh..
at a time...
till the bell rings even louder
in my ears
so I'll sleep better
better to annoy the call
then to give in right away
am I right?

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15400446/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15400446/ Wed, 07 Nov 2007 02:06:59 PST
Hard to give
when theres nothing left
but a broken pile of dust
in the shape of a sandstone
with a tiny breath of movement
the damn thing
will fall apart
no different,
then my own self
the selfishness
the charcoal coca cola pills
I chug down
to mask the inner pain
to tame myself
until i say uncle
damn this dam won't break
the dam of change
I keep smashing my fist
ever so slightly
but nothing will ever move
I will die this way I guess
trying to have a conversation,
meaningful,
secrets spill their blood as I forgot to put my electronic sun beam eye rays on to dazzle away the hidden crystals inside of our skulls lighting up like lanterns swimming on a drunken hallows eve, bellowing the trickling goo off my forehead I aim to please nobody but myself and a few others off the plain field of playing it cool I dabble in this and that these rambling words are the only thing meaningful left, I say with a pause in my chattering thoughts.. like a blocks building toward God himself until his mighty fist is like a shift in the swiftiness of his movements or however shall I say it.. he would crush me into a million dots.. all pin pointing for every one else..
to not repeat...
the record I just broke and sealed...
stealing with my running shoes dangling on the street corner like a wild baboon I sing myself with drools of messy confectionary mercenaries uttering a yodeling tune as I fall asleep forgetting what just happened but as i crawl crawl..
crawl back to the normalcy,. I beg to differ and dig myself into a substantiating cold gold mine.. belting out a belt like a master and teacher.. bam bam.. I'm dead not again.. not over again.. I have faced this once before..bang bang I'm dead all over again...
the playing fields of March march their way like super secret parties of militia hell bent on turning me into their mining coal like this is some sort of sniveling sniping game of wits but its not my dear deer, of whom I cried so much.. at the thought of even a tiny car meeting you...

Whats does this have to do with giving I snarl at myself again, I'm changing topics just for the hell and pursuit of stealing another suit, black and white paint brush dry I try to get it wet but all I can get back is a thankless thank you note and a pidder padder of ugly death threats inside of my hair net...
well..
whatever that means..
I bid you adieu
for I cannot think anymore
to glue myself into....
into this..
word by word mind game..
from me
to you.

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15397735/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15397735/ Tue, 06 Nov 2007 19:49:23 PST We want attention, all of us, even until the emptiness inside our wells dries up and we become that decrepid flower sitting at the bottom of that well... learn to crawl on the vines to the top, they know better, they know where the sun is shining...
trust..
Don't put too much trust in your admiration or attention seeking missiles, because they'll be aimed right back at you always deflecting backwards through a mirror shattering backwards and forwards, like the thundering whip shivering down to yo0ur spine until you learn to never breath again the cold lesson we learn from isolation, the loss of attention, attention affection that others need, is just as much as you need to, its hard for the little weary mole, like myself, like you, to crawl out of our holes, when we've gotten so use to how messy things can be, we don't want change secretly, even though we cry and beg for it, but if we keep crying and begging for it, does that mean we really need it? or were born to have it?
You have to carry mountains, before you can climb them I guess...
Well
however we choose...
to carry ourselves
in this bundles of hissy fits
theres a larger world out there
much larger then our own worlds
locked away in our tiny little heads
so much to unlock
so much to keep inside
how much to let go
and how much to keep?
That is the journey to decide
which tells me to enjoy it
not to enjoy the beginning or ending
but the ride itself
and I'm getting sick of the ride
this ride of desiring attention...
do I really need it?
Do I even want it at all?
I talk myself into wanting things
I do not want..
and I talk myself
into doing things
that I'll never do..
yet always seeking
heat seeking missiles
of attention.......

Attention,
its something we're not sure of
but we carry it along with us
everyday...

Do I really want
to pay attention?

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15346319/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15346319/ Sat, 03 Nov 2007 12:54:49 PDT So I decide to shut the door,
like I usually do,
same as the usually dooey doo,
bang on the drum all day
just for the hell to rise
from the electronic fakey fake gravy grave yard
with all of these stretched out longings I can't seem to split my own seems bent on hellish yarns to make you yawn outloud into the universe with a mighty cracking whip like as if a hand of god reach out of from your skull and struck me so silently..
Hey. Happens to me all day...
I feel their slaps..
inner slaps.
an inner dance..
the words like ghosts
with mighty fists
thundering right into your nose
punching you down
making you feel
so slow..
I am so struck down now..
work is killing me..
so wrongly..
and I'm losing my mind..
but when I get home
I feel a little better
now that I have..
peace and quiet
in my room
next to this computer
latched to a wireless connection
strapped to some invisible signal
I cannot see
wish to be free
with it
one with the internet
so I may sleep forever
born from within
without the universe
the tangents we create
would never be forgotten
only to those
who wrapped their presents
before they went to bed
crumbling
falling down the stairs
rotten cookie canes
crumbs being eaten by
zombie reindeer
but I disagree with such revolting imagery
for it is not me...
you see..

I twist my eye ball around and around
bound to spew a few deviants around in circles
so long to the ballads I have forgotten to sew
politely excuse me while I dance this number away from you
I am nothing but a whisper
but the very thing
you forgot
in your deja vu
stripping down
to nothing
until I'm the blankness
that is space
the space between you and me
the very stupid logical conclusion
I would usually make
and bake
like a cake
its not so easy
when you've been burned
by life itself
burned within
a burning heart
burning for everything
accepting nothing
diagrams I throw away
into the bay
so I shall bathe
bathing away
into the soft sweet ocean
forever
to let myself live again
somewhere else
some fake fantasy
that is really real
not thunderous applause
no pause or turn
just truthy truth
super serious
I'm not super cereal
because if I was
I would have set
a detanation
upon this very slap
forgive me
I digress
so very disagreeably
fondle me dreams
for they may the last time
you have a tango with them
bang bang...
I fall to the floor
licking the blood off the floor
its all a pile of loot
to steal and snatch away from me
its not mine
its yours
it was always yours
but who would want it
if not me?

you see...
you see this..
I am..
leading you down the tumbling stairs..
like a crumbling cookie crane
bent out of flying shape..
dieing into little bits..
for the world
to feast upon...
time lapse dance..
life takes over...
death takes over..
one big chance.

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15167669/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15167669/ Mon, 22 Oct 2007 03:22:58 PDT Kinda like both more like.
More like this way,
more like that that,
my confusing ways
to tell you how confused I am.
Missing everyone
missing a girl or two
which to choose
that is a clue
I lost long ago
broken in two
but now is not the time for merely remarking upon these strange considerations, for I am much too tired to retire my belt in this ring of thoughts circling around me like a bent up carnival too mad to be insane, too insane to be fun, however the top goes off I'll stare for areas that do not exist where ever they may be, until the floor melts, until this little corner in which I used to stare (use to stare) marl those words well.. for they may be your last.. foot prints.. a finger print.. for my fingers to continue tapping the sand dunes brushing hem like a god pondering his next move on a canvas.. now by no means are we comparing ourselves to that slave known as God, but I am just truly lost.. in a sea of fittings I do not see fit..

Bent and twisted into a corner this is how I like the mold in which I have created but no no no...
(I choose to bend it this way)
I want to keep on talking...
(I want you to shut up)
Just keep typing..
(Its useless regardless)
Less of a regard to my mind is the paradox of the usual goings on in my life..
I do not make any sense I know..
I dangle behind my spider webs to catch myself.. and maybe you in them...
I dare do not know who dare read my words..
my mental words..
like claustrophobic clittery clatters of spidery bats all spattering out a centuries frustration into a heater beater lenses, hell better bring more water because this fire will never stop burning until I can linger on more confusing descriptions by chopping them up..
cutting me down..
to size...
Eeeeee...
Eyes.....
Size...
of my fist..
into my face..
constantly pummeling myself..
into my face..
Fragmented jewels spray a sunshine beacon too bright for the shell shaken down and broken into strange little twirls.. floating in the ocean swirls...

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15097684/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15097684/ Wed, 17 Oct 2007 06:33:27 PDT for his song "Go It Alone"

Beck is this moldy old scarecrow,
there is a scary strange world around him..
straws and strings hanging all over him,
as rhythym carries him along, his eyes are hollow,
walking down a lonesome street,
the world begins to fade away
with each line of the chorus,
creepy crawly shadows appear out of nowhere
Beck is a scarecrow, noticing the world is falling apart,
things are burning, the trees and everything is singing to him,
to the rhytym,
the guitar comes in,
Then the shadows beat and tear him apart...
his head goes flying in slow motion...
his head hits a house.. and he comes back together...
the shadows come back and rip him to shreds... he hides away,
from the shadow creatures, hiding in the trees,
hiding in a coffin... imagining him singing to himself...
with a candle lit...
he opens a trap door.. and crawls...
out of earth...
walking away from it burning...
the stars form into hands that clap...
as he slowly walks away from Earth...
never looking back....
suddenly his real eyes appear...
his eyes turns back seeing the reflection of Earth in his eyes..
and he begins to burn from the fire he sees on Earth...
and he turns away..
and walks away..
as the fire in his eyes..
burns his body away..
as he slowly walks away..
with the hands made out of stars clapping along..
slowly trecking in the colds of space..
straw and all..
falling apart...

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15079783/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15079783/ Mon, 15 Oct 2007 20:26:03 PDT bounded stakes
lost and lonely
bent and only
just for
justice
my mind..
is ...
tieing..
another..
knot..
bet you didn't bet
on that..

my voice
barely makes a sound
I never ask for much
just a little
soul to sell
and maybe a heart
for me to
devour upon
I just can't take it
no no no...
I can't bake it...
the ingredientssssssss...
sssslip away from me

ssso I sssayyyy
lieing away
no one to comfort..
no one to blame
only a ginger ale
to point my finger at
the backward logic
I use to describe
no one subscribes
to my fucked up tries
I'm as useless
as a toy bear
I'm a useless
as a uselessness thing
that my mind
can't decide
how to describe
and I'm back,
to,
square one.

Back to back..
with hovering..
covering my wounds
my eyes
are sold
and I'm
blind as a bat
another trapped door..
for me to lay upon..

but I never thought that I would sit here and crumble and tumble down these stairs yet again to stare upon the mirror that is shattered in two and I can barely even hold a sense of logic in my words and or my fast typing here and now..
where to stop and where to go.. thats my reason for being so slow.. everyone I know is lost and alone as I am but at least they have the connections and I am too blind to recognize my own connections to myself.. I could be where I would want to be right now.. but I haven't gotten there.. because I have no plan and I am stuck...
in..
the desert sand...

Ah yes my point is made
by adding yet another stupid visual reference,
I'm jumping the fence
by not uttering a single phrase
from these kissless lips
been too long...
I need one so badly..
but I never want to say it..
never want to breath it
I'm too toxic
like some bottle of gasoline
or a dormant volcano...
unwilling to explode..
will wake up...
someday soon..
in some form
or another...

but for now..
Wounded Snakes..
wounded crates..
broken packages..
wounds..

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15079621/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15079621/ Mon, 15 Oct 2007 20:10:19 PDT to let down arms
the dew armies
drift me
away from the painting
the pain that pin points
where the dots are
but I won't bother
to boil them
in a pot
never figuring out
the toy figures
limbs
where they go
where do I go
in this road
broken and cracked
never bothering to notice
I'm stuck in those very shadows
sketched out marks
the maps are pasted and shredded
on a daily basis
I'm filled with stiches and burnt hair tips
I'm a doll
burning in the wind
burning in the water
burning everywhere
my mind seas fit
to sea so fare
next to this maiden doll
everything fake
we're in a fake world
lies melt into our eyes
truth buried under the ocean
we all
belong to the sea
a boiling pot
stew and all
stewing until we get tired out
and burn out
die away
leaving our shells
now in some weird form
we have created
over centuries
we never really bothered
to work the kinks out
in this might chain link
of religious thoughts
the universe
is mightily too vast
for us to understand
such a simple concept of God,
very vague
very blind
only a speck of sand
in the desert of the frozen universe..

my mind swaggers
from one ideal
until I can worry
which word will offend
so I cut it out
and lay miserably
distract myself
until the lonesome night
is dead at dusk
or whatever the definition
of life means

the surfing we dwell upon
the circle of frozen water
like a sugar hole
we crawl through
on our hands and knees
like some demented pet
we've created this candy cane
not some laughing demon

we're the minds
to conjure up
our adventures
where we go from there
is up to us
or up
or down

what to do?
my eyes blabber
I say no
blinking my life away
just like that
I hush up
I hush down
broken dreamy dreams
tricking the trees
to think
I was sleeping under their shadows
but I never was
I was taking a long break
away from the shadows
now I'm back inside the shades
of lamplights
light and dark
dance as neither one
could ever have decieved
two divorced
one seperation dilly dally
one or two or three
broken up toy dolls
drowned in tears
sitting
strapped to trapped planets

our might earth
is a net
a trap,
a trapped jewel
for a mighty large eye
"So we say"

So we say...
so we say..
dancing
this way..

a sway..
for me..
a sway for you...
we all sway different ways
yet..
we all end up
in the same
lonesome place..
lost
roaming the cosmos....

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15010505/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/15010505/ Thu, 11 Oct 2007 05:00:55 PDT I'll be the lantern of oil
spilling in hell
spinning in my own mad mind
laughing diabolically
as each putrid flame
goes unnoticed
dying for the hearts
to replenish on the screen
I am nothing but a video game
played backwards
I'm so tired of being thick
then thin,
I'm so tired of complaining
about this and that
I'm told to not be hard on my self
when I can't even sell myself
in the mirror
as a logical human being,
have I forgotten
or am I forgetting things
on purpose?
Jabbing the knitting needles into my brain
until I became a rock
with jagged swords
cut inside
I can see it all
all the lies and truths
none of them I will ever believe
so I'll rip open my purse
and pull out a pretty flower
didn't expect to go there
(No I didn't)
but it doesn't matter
because in time
none of these words will marry me
and hold a chapel over my head
so it can collapse on my head
banging against the rocks
like a frustrated mouse
in a labrynth built for the insane
but how can ya be insane
when you only got one brain
one life to choose?
How can you go back
when life is not about going back?
Yet life plagues me
with this disease
constantly
like Death holding cards
I lose every fucking time
how happy does that sound?
Pitch fork tunes
petty blues
random words
to soothe my weary being
from the tyrannical being
that is me
locked up inside
so tightly
so thick
so thin....
so me...

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/14918941/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/14918941/ Thu, 04 Oct 2007 20:29:37 PDT Oh oh oh ohoo little china girl

I could escape this feeling, with my china girl
I feel a wreck without my, little china girl
I hear her heart beating, loud as thunder
Saw the stars crashing

Im a mess without my, little china girl
Wake up mornings wheres my, little china girl
I hear hearts beating, loud as thunder
I saw they stars crashing down

I feel an tragic like an marlon brando
When I look at my china girl
I could pretend that nothing really meant too much
When I look at my china girl

I stumble into town just like a sacred cow
Visions of swastikas in my head
Plans for everyone
Its in the white of my eyes

My little china girl
You shouldnt mess with me
Ill ruin everything you are
Ill give you television
Ill give you eyes of blue
Ill give you men who want to rule the world

And when I get excited
My little china girl says
Oh baby just you shut your mouth
She says ... shhhhhh
She says
She says

And when I get excited
My little china girl says
Oh baby just you shut your mouth
And when I get excited
My little china girl says
Oh baby just you shut your mouth
She says ... shhhhh
She says

Oh oh oh ohoo little china girl
Oh oh oh ohoo little china girl
Oh oh oh ohoo little china girl
Oh oh oh ohoo little china girl
Oh oh oh ohoo little china girl

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/14894913/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/14894913/ Wed, 03 Oct 2007 06:02:08 PDT little or no ocean
to sail on.

Bankteller ghosts,
floatin upside down;
in a disassembled bank
scattered pieces,
hovering slowly,
like frozen flying saucers
stuck in a gigantic blue web....
Xsjd
sd
fas
d
sd
dssdfsfsddfsadfsadfsad

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/14894790/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/14894790/ Wed, 03 Oct 2007 05:41:54 PDT stares at me,
in this paused moment,
I feel the weight of everything
crashing down upon me,
that inactive feeling
like some dead volcano
on the Moon...
work will begin soon..
too soon for me..
to think..
justice just lets me go
in a puddle of slow tears
stop trying so hard
and I say each word
with a paused glare
never look
never look back
only when everything's died down...
do I realize..
how tired my eyes truly feel..
how mortal I really am..
how I feel..
how I feel inside..
is it calm?
am I truly unable to cope?
This clogged breath
a smile appears on Death
like its some sick joke
amongst the gods
to watch me trip and fall
thanks to me
for tieing my own shoes
all wrong
I tripped..
blames on me
bleeding in the sea
the sharks smelled the blood
and tore me apart
asunder...
the sun clocks shadow
like a ghost at midnight
the loneliness
starts creeping back in
no matter how much
you learn to distract yourself
your a sham
ramshackling lamb
to the slaughter
for another useless gesture
done by me
counteracted..
leaving me sitting here..
with nothing else to say..
like as if..
some god like putrid smile
will criss cross against my face
to light your torch inside
I can't do this..
no I can't..

But I must do this alone
or maybe not..
please tell me lord..
that someone will sweep
on swift wings
and behead me..
someone..
someone like death..

my soul needs rest
an eternal one
let me sleep a slumber
in a womb
or a tomb..
whatever the chances
of the dice you roll
in this weird game
of yours.....

perhaps the hour is too late
and I grow ill
of hearing myself babbling again..
but I feel it is my duty
to create more...
more...
what do all men with power want?
more power...

I just chopped one dedication off
quite naturally..
and I feel the loss..
so here I am..
filling the loss..
with a filling...
to fill in
whats missing......

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/14878695/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/14878695/ Mon, 01 Oct 2007 22:58:52 PDT
trashy smashy i mumble so sleepy failing to notice the nuclear bomb that went off years ago, blames all on me, like blood trickling down my sides, my own inner war wound

yonder dreams feel so dead to me like livin in a coffin buried under the sea my tears like strings of seaweed stretching out towards the blurry sun, I dream.

melting ice in the bottom of the Antartic feeble dreams squandering around the icy slopes like a licorice rope, chanting priests, until the day is dead

boats still afloat in the mighty precious seas adjusting to the nightmares can be mighty tricky so stay sharp with sword in hand bandaid blues tickles me blue

tall tales of the stretched faith destroyed within a burning ship sailing into typical sea fares so unfair to these well worn out eyes, burning each desire in a hidden desert, hidden very well to the rest of the crew

You sweet ballerina zombie with your voodoo like stare staring at the dizzying stars twirlin round n round the heavy universe ready to have yet another mental collapse under the weight, under the pressure, so lets keep my hydraulic Moon pumpin, secrets so slow tangled alien toes swelling with internally woven woes by my queen spider Sillendia, with thick webs made out of steel, so hard to steal whats right inside of our cyanide heart case, though, with a wave of fingers brushing up against a harps strings, everything settles back down, and your back to back with your typical affairs with imaginary ballerinas dancing somewhere upstairs sitting in a corner that blankets me in darkness, rockin back n forth like a rocking horse


(hurray! now I've found something useful to do while I'm on break!)

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/14265445/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/14265445/ Tue, 21 Aug 2007 00:52:53 PDT because I'm not pro enough to comprehend the dabbling words morphing and blurring, or shall I say being blurred by the lights all around me,
like a ufo spaceship crashing right in front of my eyes
you see the alien try to survive and die,
right before your eyes,
my eyes and mind are blind, like a bright shining light I don't care who stares at me so unwishingly I just wish to be in a library somewhere.. yes yes.. I know.. I'm side tracking myself.. just to take myself to the next corner.. just so my eyes no longer see what the enemy staring so point blank at me with their rifle esque eyes.. ready to strike if I dare do glance..

A pause, because if I keep listening to the random voices echoing..
(Mocking tea shades...)
I will mock whatever I wish...
So please stop..
I need to caress this bountiful baby of mine until it grows into something good..
but I digress in my own inner silence of insanity and madness..
I would love to not scream and shout.. to the point where the blankness within me would die a rather horrific death by hanging from a tree branch.. or a tree lamp.. choose whatever scenario fits you most is what I would raise a glass to..

your gonzo riddened brain is out of batteries and .. well.. lets face it..

your a porch swinging tambourine ram shackled robot with too much time on his scissor hands bent out of shape cutting nothing but bits of the edges of the paper.. your not doing anything.. your out of gas.. out of fuel.. your blocked... a writers block has crushed me to the gorund.. except for now?
now I am not so sure.. if my ramblings get me anywhere.. but back to the point I wasn't trying to make.. in that I didn't want to make any point in the first place.. hey someones gonna love this somewhere right?
and there'll be someone who will despise it and dispose of its heartless colorful corpse glowing like a lamplight swinging in the moonlight..

Mini to my eyes,.. tasty dreams kill my softly sinking gaze..
"I am nothing more than shadow of what I was.." I say aloud...

And the voices of a million ghosts.. I have shut off.. but they always find a crack or a crease to crawl back into..
to haunt me in this room.. in my head..

I haven't been typing.. my heart out..
I don't put my soul into this anymore..
but now I have pushed myself enough..
the point of no return is inevitable..
and we all walk the fine line of dangling insanity and lovely sane drippy drops..

hell.. whatever that means..

So I clear my throat and intend to end this thing right here and now.. and never type again.. but I know thats not gonna stop me.. no no siree bob..
I am a fumbling... crumbling cake.. sitting on a bed of hot irons..
slowly melting under the sun...
hell bent...
tools crammed...
into my lazy head..
tell me what time it is I don't care..
my eyes don't want to look anymore..
I have buried them deep down..
just like my soul..
for now.. right here..
I am dead..
and thus is the way of things..

I'll come back again.. I say with a smile..
perhaps someone reading this..
(like a wonderful swimming fish)
will put two and two together
and realize I am full of shit..
but its no matter..
because we're all matter..
we matter..
we matter to one another..
in the full circle of spectrum's..
full of flashing lights..
blinking a million times over and over again..

I cant spell right..
right now... with this tapping typing...
nor.. no...
nor can I see beyond myself now..

my vision in down in the muck..
down on my luck..
change is no time for now..
time for a change?
Bing thats just a wrong answer in a pool of rights..

A sweet lullaby plays
for the demented princess
still trapped in her moldy old ways...

"Let me breath"
she cries and melts into the sun.

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/13813052/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/13813052/ Fri, 20 Jul 2007 19:26:43 PDT !!!!

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/13713620/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/13713620/ Thu, 12 Jul 2007 21:45:42 PDT but oh but lets not nest in that foggy land forever.

...Work is going to hell... and home has been.. well home.. I wish I could just be happy here.. but god.. I can't be..
I've tried to leave forever, but I keep coming back here like a slingshot, the feeling of leaving , you feel like a steamroller is rolling over you, no matter how much you kick and scream.. you'll feel yourself tumbling back to where you don't wanna be.. or maybe it is where I want to be.... other wise why would I be so content with being here?
but yeah... I guess I belong here.. and I have to come to terms with that.. but of those feelings.. that suffocate me.
I keep staring at deviantart, my account here. and its not alive yet.. I'm trying to find a good reason to write again.. to type..
I keep myself helluva busy here:

ytmnd.com/users/yourthecoconutman/sites

enjoy my sites, because thats where my heart is right now, though even now I am a bit lost.. but whatever,
I'll get over this stuff... XD XD XD
aldkjfaskdjfklasdasd
fas
dfa
sdf
asdfasd
blah blah blah..

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/12474557/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/12474557/ Thu, 05 Apr 2007 18:25:08 PDT these unpleasin demons
wrap their black marks around my head,
are they gonna,
roll me down this long hill,
its always turning round and round,
I've sorta kinda lost,
what my purpose was,
for making anything at all,
I'm trying to find my purpose,
right here
in my stuttering confusion,
sparkling with diamonds,
I am a princess,
I am a prince,
I am what I say I am,
I am all wrong,
I can't back down,
I will always shake my stick
at your evilness... ness...

Shakey tree,
bumblebee,
lost inside of your tumbleweed,
we're in the drifting desert
trying to find an answer
to this misery we call life,
and I can't pull the binoculars off
off of my eyes,
to see the real truth,
I am cluttered by the bats,
wolves howling at midnight,
all these visuals I can't understand anymore,
I am writing with nothing real in mind,
because I don't want to acknowledge
what haunts me so,
day in and day out
in my day by day
cloudy pout,
I pout off to the side,
with my pressure sliding in,
I let it go,
it returns back to me,
to hurt me so,
it wants me to finish
what I started,
but I can't keep creating
if I feel like shit...
what is driving me?
Just who is this nut,
typing and typing away
upon this pointless keyboard
with a purpose..?

Umm so yeah,
you take that stick
and break it in two,
one for me and one for you,
I'll slide back
into my hypno nightmares,
and you can hold me
and pet away each
and every headache I get,
so I don't have to keep suffering from them..
day in and day out
clouding doubts
making me pout...

Drifting in and out
of insanity
and sanity.

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/12201574/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/12201574/ Fri, 16 Mar 2007 02:51:30 PDT I'm not the only one.. refreshing the same page over and over again?
Waiting for some random comment to come out of nowhere... to save me from the day?
Or the night, whichever damned time you'd like to call it, I can't stand it anymore, poems can't have this sort of space to trap it from becoming what it wants to be, except I don't know what I'm creating here, but a useless journal entry..
One that everyone can call useless if they please upon flying trapeze, call me Indonesian, call me Chinese, call me while I'm dressed up in sweaters upon sweaters, I'm hiding from the world, with television goggles and an internet mind frame, please lord... break this cycle and let my wheel run free, throughout all the world, let me just scream let me die away from the insistance of myself to sit around waiting for random comments to show up.. because I cannot take it anymore..
But you know you will, show some kind of will to make sure your closest friend won't throw you into a looney bin, someone will read this later on and go, oh so thats why he was going insane, so stupidly smiling no grin, I cannot take control of my own destiny at the current moment because I am on auto pilot, self destruction or self reserving my seat for th enext damned Prom night where all devils and angels will meet at last and stab each other int eh back, with strange and articulate objects.

Like I've said and stated before and before, many times as before, I know this doesn't satisfy anyones needs or even mine... but at least its enough to shatter my mine fields.. before you can take a stroll in mine... I will have set all of the bombs off befor eyou got there..
and there you will find me.. lost and unbearable..
not wanting to be seen..
after all I've made a mess of myself at the seems...

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/11982413/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/11982413/ Tue, 27 Feb 2007 01:55:40 PST [link]
God this is such a beautiful song and video.. anyone agree with me?
I swear.. everytime I hear this song.. I think of Evangelion...
I would love to do a AMV with this song someday.. it'd be beautiful... but eh.... I've been pretty crappy lately.. *sigh*

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10988814/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10988814/ Thu, 07 Dec 2006 20:53:26 PST
]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10953121/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10953121/ Mon, 04 Dec 2006 19:35:49 PST They may take my knife but they'll take away my door mat belonging to my neighbor, so roll me up a sympathy check and frown down into the crowns of clowns who have thought deep dark thoughts so deep it would drown you back to life!
No! Not death you silly boy, because that way the octopus may pick up the trace of a signal shot off by pirates, oh how they hunger for quiver, the shaking quaking easy back oven feeling in the heart throbbing exploding chest cage.
Why am I keeping this beast caged up and still alive? Why pick up a chestnut and toss it away because your not gonna need it for when I swing the pendulum my way!
Top off that Mister Pussywillow Hat Cake, sitting underneath your gardens of silly silouhettes, the dancing cats dressed up in human clothing is rather cute but unnecessary to get to the point, TO RACE!
To the finish line!
Is based soulessly upon my own heartless hearts bogus design.
Figure it out by nine
the clocks exploding into dimes,
flying everywhere around me
like violent mechanical vultures pecking away at me!
Till my lifes energy is spent, dusk till dawn, these words will live on, like I was still here, a bit of a spear chucked through space, emptiness I can feel under and above myself.
Stealing pots of solid twenty four carrot gold,
for the Easter Bunny, passed out cold.

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10770887/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10770887/ Sat, 18 Nov 2006 20:36:40 PST
]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10575140/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10575140/ Tue, 31 Oct 2006 19:25:38 PST
]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10573475/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10573475/ Tue, 31 Oct 2006 16:45:13 PST
an army sails,

diggers with pitchforks

stab at the oceans,

topsy turvy dimes,

cradle burning bushes

too busy,

to sort out their business,

with demons and witches,

there a halloween element,

came to form,

why am I so pessimistic

while being so optimistic?

Simplicity cities,

cradling jagged horses,

jabberwocky jabbering and walking

on a walkie talkie

to an upside down mockingbird

mocking his every step,

was it this way or that?

please tell us!

But my narrator is drunk you see,

drugged up on pen pusher pills,

who knows that those bags contained

super human zoos,

created just for you!

Chibi smile,

another office jabbed,

another work day killed,

"Oh how deadness fondles me so"

I say in a deep gothic voice,

Oh your so silly,

mister silly pants,

to be so silly,

when your own sleepy sniper,

is ready to cut this piece of work up

into a million pieces.

"Die die die!"

he screams in a dream,

or was it reality?

Where he dropped his paper and pencil?

Haha tons of forests chopped down,

just so you could prove a stupid point

no one will read,

oh come on don't you say that!

I say slapping my face,

your so insane in the membrane,

boy!

Collapsers dig the waggy streets

wobblin from side to side,

ah yes there you go,

ya captured a cool scenario,

for a cool ending, daddio.

Now sleep in your grave,

sleep now,

and never awaken,

thats the reward

your always acheing for.

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10549064/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10549064/ Sun, 29 Oct 2006 13:31:17 PST [link]
my goodness thats good imagery!

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10549027/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10549027/ Sun, 29 Oct 2006 13:27:45 PST the poems there remind me of how little I know and how much I strive to be like them.. sorta... or at least.. meld what I can from them, and continue to morph myself writing wise, and try to make things a little bit clearer with the confusing imagery, to show where my lifes at, I am trying to make my life more quieter.. and I'm trying to calm down this bomb thats sorta in me.. to vent it out daily.. because I need to do that.. vent.. lol vent until I get tired. lol oh yeah and I gotta go to the dentist before these gums hurt me forever.. yay I'll get rid of them this tuesday!! huzzah!!!!!!!!!
WHOA!! phew.. I thought i almost deleted this entry... phew!!!! that happened to me with a poem once... LOL

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10537678/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10537678/ Sat, 28 Oct 2006 12:43:23 PDT Japan-A-Radio:
[link]

hmm.. anyone else know of any other cool jpop/anime radio stations?

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10529647/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10529647/ Fri, 27 Oct 2006 16:58:39 PDT
Where was I today? It was so pointless, goddamnit today was oh so pointless, less for me to waste my brains energy just to stand around at work looking at nothingness while my brain gets jack hammered by my infected gums, evil grinning gums, stay away a while won't you?
Agh you won't stop your hurt, it hurts me so, let me go, throw me down, toss me around, on this swing of pain, I should've gone to the doctor sooner, but shh shh, you've said too much already, ah shit, I'm too early to start my breakfast because last night I was pouring my soul into a bowl, a bowl I never eat from and I ate it all up until there was nothing left but a sweping deserted island, cold voiceless words echo into me, gently careening my boat over doubled over with unbelieving, jack hammer infect gums, leave me alone a while won't you?
I promise I'lll be good, just don't hit me with that piece of wood, sticked with tacs, your gonna smack me again, aren't you demonic gums? I've been stuck with your poisonous fumes for a year now, and nothing was ever doen to stop it, because we didn't have enough old Benjamin dollar bills to slap across those greedy dentists foreheads to ward off evil spirits, I hold up this wooden twig and put my skull on top, on board for the shaking and crumbling dust filled trains rolling over the hills morphing into another being is oh so hard, when you got a jack hammer gum infected with bills, jacking up the prices on the gasoline, I can't shoot the dot because my eyes are inbetween, underneath, never to be seen, sites are losing visions and sights, I can no longer see what it means to be me, when the pain is oh so harsh and cranky, creeking on my rocking chair, I grab ahold of my head and shout into the floor, nothing is ever over for me!!!!
oh a Lord who wanted to die, stuck his head into a fish bowl, uh oh, wrong turn for the card player underneath swimming with the flames, drenched in ice.. playing it nice... until the game is over, I never want the game to end, but I do want one thing to end, these acheing gums to stop... damned infections... damned infections.....
drilling into me... I cannot see....

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10239937/ http://MelancholyDreamer.deviantart.com/journal/10239937/ Sat, 30 Sep 2006 18:28:26 PDT XD XDX DXD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA me and my family listened to it in the car and it made me laugh so hard, XD XD especially White And Nerdy and Trapped In The Drive Thru XD XD XD X DXDDDDDDDDDD

]]> ~MelancholyDreamer