I don't really have much to say.

Except that I'm appalled, once again, at the restraints we place on the human spirit.

As a society we seem to have convinced ourselves that man is capable of guileless thought and action: friendship, love, innocence, loyalty... but man is a much more complicated being than that.

Humans are constantly "biting the hand that feeds" us. Our friendship is only so good as the payment we receive for it, our love a fading trend. A best friend can turn on you faster than a lover and with more fury, fed on trust and confidence, they can tear you to pieces with a look.

You give those close to you the ammunition and motive to destroy you, but are shocked and dismayed when they actually do.

We used to have a saying: trust no man farther that you can throw him.

Our new age minds are dusty and neglected, yet we like to pretend that we have expanded upon thought and invention. I believe that reality and humanity work in a cycle, much like the natural order of life and death; a species can only evolve so far until it recesses.

We are still a half-wild people, building our makeshift tribes out of rock and branch. Our hunting grounds have become markets, our mating rituals revolve around shiny stones and rehearsed words. We are no more divine than our ancestors. Our thoughts are first and foremost on individual needs and prosperity.
Next time you hear a humanitarian explain why they strive to help others look for the words that never fail: "It makes me feel good."

Every act we commit is selfish in one way or another. Sure, we dress it up as well as we can, but the fact remains that every man is for himself first and foremost. We make alliances to earn points in the game of Life; marriage, friendship, sex, camaraderie. Its all for naught, for points, for selfishness.

To avoid seeing the futility of this game, we attach meaning to it: heaven, hell, god, purgatory, reincarnation... we want all those juicy little points to go somewhere, to get us farther, to make us better than another.

In the eighteen years of my life I have built and burned many bridges. Gained and lost many points. I get a certain guiltless pleasure from taking others points: breaking up with that pathetic mamas boy with no future, hanging up on that whiny teenage drama queen. I figure, if it hurts another, and makes you feel "better", it must be worth points. Its because of this lack of sentimentality that I can laugh so easily when I receive a spiteful message or slight. If someone tries to hurt you while you have an emotional shield, you must gain points.

It's because of this mindset that I can laugh at so many of you who hate and curse me.

I love watching you lose points.