http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Midnight-Rocket&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Midnight-Rocket en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:20:14 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/7588079/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/7588079/ Thu, 12 Jan 2006 22:23:37 PST
I'm really stressed out. I have a convention coming up in which I am participating in 5 panels. I don't have any costumes ready. I pretty sure I'm not going to finish Lust. I'm really close to finishing Tsunade, which may be the only costume I take with me. And to top it off, they Naruto gathering is scheduled during a time I'm running a workshop. So even if I do finish Tsunade, I can't go the the gathering to show it off.

Aghhh...I just want to scream and cry and then curl up in a ball.

]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/6878804/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/6878804/ Thu, 27 Oct 2005 02:54:19 PDT
I thought it could mean that I feel they're not paying attention to my feelings but no, they have been walking on eggshells so as to not upset me, although they still do stupid things that hurt.

I don't know what I'm supposed to think after a dream like that...

]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/5525865/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/5525865/ Wed, 01 Jun 2005 21:19:52 PDT ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/4731373/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/4731373/ Fri, 04 Mar 2005 23:40:49 PST
Well, he broke up with me. Doesn't sting too much. I was thinking of breaking up with him cause he really pissed me off.

It was the way he went about doing it. He wrote me an email letting me know that he was breaking it off. Oh, man! It's every girl's DREAM to have important and personal matters decided through email. God forbid he call!

Ugh...I don't want insult the gender cause alot of guys are my friends...but honestly. What makes him think that that's ok? Ugh... ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/4174338/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/4174338/ Tue, 28 Dec 2004 01:54:12 PST
I made a cake for a friend's birthday and I have no idea what went wrong. It just fell apart. ><

I would have enough time to make another one but I can't til tomorrow, and that would mean buying more cake mix with my own money. (My mommy bought me the other mix.)

It looks like a freakin 5 year old made this cake. ARGH! And my sister's a pastry chef. Why can't I be like her. Where is she when I need her. I have a cake emergency! ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/4023857/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/4023857/ Thu, 09 Dec 2004 01:00:53 PST
I hate my teacher. She hates my work and is SO passive aggressive about it. She is constantly putting down my work. I'm so glad I only have a few more classes of it.

I have my Japanese Final tomorrow and I'm really nervous about it. I made so many mistakes on the first part. My teacher is really nice but he also pushes me harder than anyone else.

He expects alot more from me and I don't know why. It's only my first semester in Japanese. He expects me to to so much. He's not even TEACHING kanji yet expects me to use it. I mean, it's not bad. It's actually kind of sweet that he believes in me so much. It's just that so much is expected of me...

Ugh...I feel so isolated too. I've been so busy, I can't talk to many people. It makes me feel bad. I also feel bad no one makes the time to talk to me. =/ Oh well. I doubt anyone will read this far in the journal so...I'm off to study for my final. ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/3882490/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/3882490/ Sat, 20 Nov 2004 23:10:17 PST
~sigh~ It's not because of one reason but many...

I'm just tired of it all. I know that someone will always be better than me but I just can't take how good everyone else is.

I'm tired of not getting my credit for things...I'm just so tired...

So yeah. I think it's time for me to walk with my back to the sun down that dusty trail, never to return... ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/3721285/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/3721285/ Mon, 01 Nov 2004 02:03:39 PST
Ok, so the day started off with me waking up from an extremely strange dream involving my friend, Nathan, and I watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show...except it wasn't exactly the same movie...

Anyway, that's a different story for a different time...I'm glad I had this dream cause I forgot to set my alarm and it woke me up. So I got picked up around 1 pm and we got up to San Fran around 7ish. Then we got lost in downtown for about an hour looking for Junipillow, or as some people pronounce it Junipero ¬.¬...

We dropped off Shelby at her friends then went my Lloyd's (my driver) aunt's house for the night. (Lame day, I know)

Friday: Sigh. The start of con. Registration is so frustrating and takes forever...WRONG! This registration was a blast! There was a little bit of a confusion of were is was being held but then we found the room full of chairs and waited. After a little while they set up a screen and played anime! ^^ Fun! Registration was so fast and painless, unlike most yaoi. XD

I signed up to be a volunteer for 3 hours (if you volunteer 7 you get half off next year's reg, 12 you get in free). I tried to get 7 but the hours they had available weren't working for me.

Unfortunately my room-checker in was delayed at the airport cause they put her luggage on the wrong plane. >< So most of my day I sat around the lobby playing my ocarina and meeting new people.

Then I went to work at 10 pm. I helped setup a booth with tons of yaoi and got to know the two girls that worked there. We had a lot in common and became friends. (Little did I know how big a contact this would be.) I worked for an hour organizing the manga and displaying it when my hour ran up and the dealer's hall closed. I offered to help in the morning, even though I wasn't scheduled to work, and they were happy to hear it.

(Ooooh Saturday! The best day!)

So I came back at 8 Saturday morning and helped for an hour then shifted to the table next to them (where I was actually scheduled to work). But I was tragically snatched away to set up the Yaoi carnival. Well, needless to say, it was a lot of works and they had a shortage of volunteers so I was stuck there for 2 hours. By that time I had done 4 hours of work with 1 more scheduled so I just signed up for 2 more to get 7. ^^ Yay! Cheap registration next year!

So I got away from the carnival and ran upstairs to change into the one costume I brought. Just as I expected, no one recognized my character. ~sigh~ It happens when you cosplay a minor character...

Well, here's some pics of us. We're from FAKE. Left to right, Me as Alicia, Bonnie as Ryo, Misa as Berkley and Jet as JJ. (I love JJ! He's so adorably useless! XD)
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]

I hope I did my makeup ok...It's the first time I've done NORMAL makeup. T_T Someone thought I was cosplaying Orochimaru and I was saddened cause I just had my normal makeup and clothes on...

Yes, so after those pics were taken, they changed into other costumes, leaving me all alone. I changed too cause I wouldn't be recognized without the group and I had to work at 9.

Ok, I wanted to go to the masquerade but I didn't cause I was resting before work. I wanted to go the the Bishie auctions, that's were guys volunteer to be auctioned off to the highest bidder, but I couldn't cause it was at 9.

While I was out smoking I find out that they messed up and that I don't have to work at 9 but I still get the hours cause it was their mistake. So I'm a little peeved that I couldn't go to the masquerade but I'm glad I went to the auctions.

GOD! Sakura-sensei bought a harem of bishies! No one had a chance against her and the power of traveler's checks. Except me! The last person the auctioned off was a Japanese guy...oh wait, not one but 2 Japanese guys!

And guess what! I got them! All for the low low price of $600. O.o; I was the envy of everyone there. Yuske spoke pretty good english but Haru was fresh off the plane.

Three of us pulled our money and then the guy behind us kept handing us $50s. God I love the kindness of strangers. So, we won them. ^^

[link]

So hot! We just sat around and talked for 4 hours... ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/3691395/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/3691395/ Thu, 28 Oct 2004 01:46:33 PDT
I hope I don't die. O.o;

Wish me luck! I'll be gone til sunday...if you don't hear from me, please send flowers to my grieving relatives. ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/3386909/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/3386909/ Sat, 09 Oct 2004 20:27:20 PDT
^_^ I await your requests.

**Edit
Maybe I didn't clarify this. You must request a day in October. I'm going to submit (or at least I hope to...) a deviation for everyday in October. Meaning, when you request the picture, you must also tell what day you are requesting it for.
Understand?

Also, I may or may not give up October 12th. Some might not know but it's my birthday. So if the right person asked I might give it up otherwise I'm keeping it for me. ^__^
But don't feel discouraged, if you REALLY want that day, I'll give it to you.

**Edit KK, so far;
October 1st-~Kuzetsu
October 7th-*Madamboss
October 13th-*Madamboss
October 19th-~Powermoloch
October 30th-~Babylon-Destruction ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/3198714/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/3198714/ Mon, 23 Aug 2004 20:44:14 PDT
Thanks to everyone. Without that one person constantly refreshing their page I would have never gotten here. Jk. ^^ Thanks all. It really made my day. ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2891238/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2891238/ Thu, 15 Jul 2004 18:45:36 PDT ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2590797/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2590797/ Sat, 05 Jun 2004 16:19:20 PDT
I'm so thankful that she came but I'm really hurt that no one else did... I almost started crying but I didn't want to ruin my make-up before I went on stage...I was so upset I forgot some of my words, make me even more nervous and upset. I had fun last night but that was only after my two friends took me out to dinner.

I don't know how to feel anymore. I am truly grateful the two could come but I feel guilty that I wish even more could've come, like they said they were going to...But, what am I going to do? It's done and over with. I don't even know why I am writing this journal even. I know that only about 2 people will reply, if even them... ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2509172/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2509172/ Tue, 25 May 2004 20:52:25 PDT In four years, I'm ready. I know I've got to move on.
But I'll never forget this place and I'll never forget each face I met in this jouney that's been my life. Day or night. In these four years...

Graduation is in about 3 weeks. June 10th. Here it comes. I've worked hard for four years and now it's about to pay off. I'm gonna miss my friends...But...here it comes... ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2398372/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2398372/ Mon, 10 May 2004 10:33:01 PDT
Life hasn't gotten any easier...I really would like a boyfriend. I haven't thought or worried about it for like 7 years but now I am sad. I realize that I will never get me a man...So what you will but I'm not pretty enough, I'm not thin enough and I don't have personality enough to get and keep one.

In the past 7 years I have only really liked 2 guys and I have no chance with either. I am not the right gender for one and the other is already taken. I hate my life...My dad is a jerk...My brother is a dick...People tell me about how much worse their family is but I doubt that their brother has attacked them several times causing them to fear for their lives.

Everytime I bring up my craptactular life, I'm always out done by someone else's. I mean, I'm not denying they've had a rough time but don't I have the right to be upset too? Well, that only confirms my theory that no one cares enough to listen so I should just hold everything inside. Most of the time, people don't even know how bad I am hurting inside, how much something they may not even notice doing hurts me... ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2325294/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2325294/ Thu, 29 Apr 2004 16:31:52 PDT Middy winks at MadamBoss.))

Last night a friend sent me a pic and I decided to use my copics to color it. I've had a bunch of em for a while but I could never find a reason to use them.

So I got to use em. ^^ Yay! I didn't waste $78! (Lucky they were on sale, otherwise they would've been $120).

And so it begins...
Now I'm addicted to them! I HAVE to keep coloring! I need to use them...

Middy curls up into a ball on the floor and rocks back and forths. ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2306529/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2306529/ Mon, 26 Apr 2004 22:40:41 PDT Listening to: TV

Why does life suck SO much? God, everyone is ignoring me. Hello! I'm right here! I get up in choir practice to go discuss a ride home and the prep bitches are sitting in my seat. Did they think I wasn't coming back?

Then my teacher yells at me for not being in my seat. Well, I can't be when they STOLE my seat. I tell him that and he just brushes it off.

So when we are walking back onstage, I walk into my spot, BETWEEN them. F*ing Celine has the nerve to give me an indignant look when she tries to keep walking and bumps into me.

On the risers, she does everything she can to stand EXACTLY where I am. What the hell is wrong with her?!

Now my friends hate me...They think I whine and complain to much. All they see is the outside of me, the unblemished act. But really, honestly, I am bleeding on the inside. ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2154299/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2154299/ Sun, 04 Apr 2004 23:09:18 PDT
Eh...Life hasn't been bad, hasn't been good, but it hasn't been bad. I'm just kinding stepping back and watching life pass by. I can't seem to get back in step with it, nor do I really have the will to...

So, as of late, I'm just kind of going with the flow. I don't let things get to me anymore cause I just don't really care anymore. Can't hurt me if I don't care, can it?

Very few people know but I actually am a very private person. I hold everything inside and try to ignore everything. Keeps me from hurting, right? I told this to a friend, coensidentally the same one who originally pushed me out of the stream of life and time, and he just apologized.

He said he wanted to go back to the way things were a year ago. Ha! Fat chance... After all the pain he has cause me? I have been striving for about two months now to forget about what happened and he just expects to trample my heart and then, with the change of a heart, step back in like nothing happened?

Sure, he felt bad for causing me pain but there is no guarantee he won't do it again. He proved that to me when he simply threw away our four year friendship. How can he expect that I won't feel different after that? I can't even trust people now...

So, I do what I have always done, I ignore. I push my own feelings down. Always worked fine in the past... I'd rather secretly loathe myself than see others unhappy. Most of the time, they never even know that that is how I feel.

And so I continue to just go with the flow, only that this time I am a step or two behind the crowd.

]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2118753/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2118753/ Tue, 30 Mar 2004 20:24:26 PST
I was at school and I was sorely disapointed when not only could those who I called friends could neither name the song or the group of my favorite CD.

It was Oing Boingo...you know, with Danny Elfman...Danny f***ing Elfman!

I'm ashamed of them all...Bastards... ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2072780/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2072780/ Tue, 23 Mar 2004 22:19:23 PST
To do so would require me to tell of many things, most everything depressing, and in the meantime, embarrass or anger a friend.

To write of my own woes I have to tell of the woes of others. But that is not my place. Hmmm, what to do, that is the question. ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2058732/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/2058732/ Sun, 21 Mar 2004 20:58:57 PST [x] Birthdate: October 12, 1986
[x] Birthplace: ...I don't remember...
[x] Current Location: Wicked Rockets/Rocket Base Omega (I move around a lot)
[x] Eye Color: Bright fiery red
[x] Hair Color: Bright fiery red
[x] Righty or Lefty: Lefty. I am NOT evil! ;__;
[x] Zodiac Sign: Libra. I am QUITE manipulative...wait, why I am telling you this?!
[x] Innie or Outtie: O.o I do not know what the question is implying...but either way, I'm an innie...
[x] Male or Female: Both! Wait, no...innie, I mean, female.
-----------------DESCRIBE--------------- ---
[x] The shoes you wore today: My crazy 3 inch platform buckle boots!
[x] Your eyes: ...How could they have changed?!
[x] Your fears: I am afraid...of the creepy chibis that live in the walls! Oh god! They're coming!!!!!
-----------------WHAT IS------------------
[x] Your most overused phrase on aim: hmm...Aim, huh? Go away Uma! (MadamBoss would get that one ^^)
[x] Your thoughts first waking up: What's that loud beeping noise...Oh well, I'll just put my pillow over my head and ignore it...
[x] The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: Whether I am able to dominate them.
[x] Your best physical feature: My Boobs!!! Kidding, I hate my boobs...too big...
[x] Your bedtime: Normally about 11 or when I take drugs to pass out.
[x] Your most missed memory: Well, I miss the ones of my parents...I don't remember them at all...
-----------------YOU PREFER------------------
[x] Pepsi or coke: Pepsi, Coke makes me puke.
[x] McDonald's or Burger King: In-N-Out!
[x] Single or group dates: Group, increases the chance of someone saying something hilarious or doing something idiotic.
[x] Adidas or Nike: I don't wear shoes...I can't afford shoes... ;___;
[x] Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla with cherries!
[x] Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino.
-------------DO YOU------------------
[x] Smoke: Turkey! Actually, I do smoke. I am SO gothic, I smoke black cigarrettes. ^^
[x] Cuss: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck!
[x] Take a shower everyday: Oh course! Otherwise I feel dirty...so dirty...The dirt, it's not coming off!
[x] Have a crush: Maaaaaybe...I'm not telling.
[x] Do you think you've been in love?: No, nor do I believe I ever will.
[x] Want to go to college: Doing that in a few months...
[x] Like high school: Nope, can't wait to start college...god damn nazis...
[x] Want to get married: Possibly but I don't believe I will meet anyone that would want to marry me.
[x] Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: Most of the time.
[x] Believe in yourself: Why would I do something like that?
[x] Get motion sickness: Sometimes.
[x] Think you're attractive: Why would I think something like that?
[x] Think you're a health freak: No, I gorge on everything unhealthy...
[x] Get along with your parents: Eh...
[x] Like thunderstorms: Yeah, they're fun. I like to stand in the rain and dance, except now I have to use an umbrella. ;__; Shakes fist at her Moltres blood.
[x] Play an instrument: Piano, cello, clarinet and my voice.
------------IN THE PAST MONTH DID:/:HAVE YOU-------------
[x] Go to the mall: Of course.
[x] Eaten sushi: No...
[x] Been on stage: Have to, I'm in choir.
[x] Been dumped: No, I am never dumped. I don't have boyfriends.
[x] Gone skating: Nope.
[x] Made homemade cookies: No, but I kinda sorta not really helped MadamBoss make rum cakes.
[x] Been in love: No.
[x] Dyed your hair: No.
[x] Stolen anything: I snuck into a convention, does that count?
-------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
[x] Flown on a plane: Yep.
[x] Missed school because it was raining?: Not due to rain...
[x] Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: No.
[x] Cried during a Movie?: Yes, I cry at every movie...stupid hormones!
[x] Ever thought an animated character was hot?: Why else would you watch anime?
[x] Had an imaginary friend?: Yeah, but I wasn't cool enough so they kicked me out...
[x] Cut your hair?: No.
[x] Had crush on a teacher?: No.
[x] Played a game that required removal of clothing?: No.
[x] Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: No...that rum had no effect on me...So, I said to the cop...I didn't know she was a prostitute!
[x] Been caught "doing something": No, ninja skills.
[x] Been called a tease: No, I am not interesting enough to attract attention.
[x]... ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1998357/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1998357/ Fri, 12 Mar 2004 10:57:03 PST
My best friend says I am too touchy this week...But, in actuality, I am just touchy in general since that one night...The night that made me rethink everything and everyone in my life.

But for all she says about how my friends do care, it has yet to be proven. She is the only one that spends time with me, calls me, makes plans with me...While everyone calls her...

I have such great "friends" that they don't even bother to call me up and let me know they are in town. I always find out hours later through a friend of a friend.

It makes me put my life into perspective. Ever since the night the man I loved as my brother broke my heart and then stomped on it.

She tells me not to let him get the satisfaction of seeing me down but it is so hard not to when that is all I can think about. I can only think of the fun times we used to have and how he stabbed me in the back and left me to die in a ditch.

It is so hard not to be down when he touched so much of my life, including my friends. He made my friends his friends...He slowly stole my life, made it his...Then that fateful night, when he turned his back on me and walked away, he walked away with not only a grim smile on his face but he walked away with my life.

It is so hard for me to trust again...especially now since he wants to reenter my life. I know I shouldn't, but is so hard to say "no", to just walk away, like he did.

I am not fishing for attention and pity, I am just trying to find a way to express my emotions, my fears, so that even I can understand them...I just do not know what to do anymore...

I am so afraid that I will become the Lone Moltres again... ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1977833/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1977833/ Mon, 08 Mar 2004 22:15:54 PST
I realize that it is not one, but all people in my life right now. It is not necessarily that they are causing this pain but also that they are not helping either.

So far, only one person truly concerns and I feel guilty asking for more than her love and compassion. My best friend has been there for me but, is it wrong of me to ask for more?

I feel that...well, concerning guys, I am just not noticed. I am always "one of the guys" and tossed aside when someone better, more specifically my best friend, comes along.

She hates the attention because she feels they are just using her but, most don't feel that way. They are drawn to her beauty and personality.

Is it wrong of me to want even the bad attention? I feel so lonely some times...Why am I so insecure of my own feelings and appearance...

I know that a lot of "friends" show their support by pitying me, but I don't want pity. I want friendship. I don't want someone to wait until they see my crying in a hallway to ask me if there is something wrong.

I want someone to look in my eyes and hug me and just know. Someone to tell me when things will settle down, when things will be all right.

Well, anyway...Thanks for listening to my self-loathing... ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1977297/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1977297/ Mon, 08 Mar 2004 20:27:01 PST
I just am having some bad luck with friends and relationships... ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1892029/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1892029/ Sun, 22 Feb 2004 22:52:49 PST
Why is it that men can be so great yet turn out to be so hurtful? I learned this the very hard way...From my dad, to my brother...even to one of my best friends.

I can't seem to get any peace in my life, ever. It goes from one extreme to another...I can't stand my life right now...There's only one person that stands between me and a deep, permanent sleep.

Thank you MadamBoss, you've been the only ray of light in my deep jail cell. Maybe one day, you can bring me the keys to freedom... ]]> ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1726204/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1726204/ Thu, 22 Jan 2004 20:17:16 PST ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1721133/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1721133/ Wed, 21 Jan 2004 21:56:42 PST ~Midnight-Rocket http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1437778/ http://Midnight-Rocket.deviantart.com/journal/1437778/ Sat, 22 Nov 2003 17:38:55 PST ~Midnight-Rocket