deviantART: by:Midnight53

deviantART: by:Midnight53 http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Midnight53&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Midnight53 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 25 Nov 2009 05:49:28 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png Devious Journal Entry http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/28510636/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/28510636/ Sun, 22 Nov 2009 14:11:21 PST

Tell me to stop being on here and to go write. T___T I got more behind. BRILLIANT! Working on it...
Only two more days of school before the break BUT .... T___T everything's due. of course.
got down to 31 devianations by 1 AM :'D
instead of writing....
SSHHHHH!!!!
*runs*

]]> *Midnight53 second journal in a day http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/28496626/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/28496626/ Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:27:03 PST

los sientos.

If you hadn't noticed, my last journal was definately me slipping into my depressed mood.
There is a simple answer.
hint: I HATE being a girl.

I also don't care. :'D I have a depressive personality at the moment and I'd like to be in it. Every once in awhile I'd like to express it. To think negitively because I CAN.

It made today pretty shitty, truthfully.

I also like to rant when I'm in a depressive mood. It makes me REALIZE a lot.

Like I hate how I'm treated by a lot of people and how I've finally starting to make witty comments back and am really enjoying that TOO much.

I notice how I can be a jealous biotch sometimes.

How impatient I can be.

and you know. I'm okay with that. I'm pretty good about not showing it most of the time. I will NOT comment about it. Not at first. It might build up. and that's kinda bad.

but yes. I can be jealous. and I think jealousy is okay when it's tamed and bad remarks aren't made. I catch myself sometimes. I ave to shut up a lot.

I've been kinda mean to some friends. and I apologize. Mainly Erika and Scarlett. The truth is, I mean them. What I say. I just... shouldn't say them. You know? I'll try to be better about it.

November kills me. Like. Kills my soul and I dunno if I can do NaNoWriMo again. Not with the fact it keeps me from doing what I want to do. My heart's dying because I haven't been able to draw or anything. I want to get it done early so I can have it over with but I'm behind as it is. T___T It's painful. and when I can't draw... even talking about other art is hard. I can barely enjoy art. My mind is completely outtuned. I have to get more help in art class and... It's totally not me. I'm deprived.

and my CAMERA! My video camera. That thing. I can't find it's charger. but it was STARING at me! D: I put it behind some books and it's STILL peeking from behind them.

I want to throw DD away. It's so DIFFICULT now! I already wrote the current part, a different way of course, and it's KILLING me this time. I killed my 5th character and I want to burst in tears and I really wasn't attached to her at all. ... *sniff*

I love how polls show a person's true thoughts. They're very handy. Most people just want to see the effin' results. haha. figures. that was originally JUST for me so I didn't have to vote in it.

I found out only like three out of a hundred people watching me ACTUALLY watch me. Thanks guys. I love you.

I miss when I used to have cheerful comments to me on my shoutboard and stuff. Now... everyone's busy? I dunno.

I got goggles. Like. Willy Wonka goggles thanks to Pinata's spotting them and not buying them so I did. lol.

My heart's still ripping. I'm really lonely, too. Rally lonely weekend. really lonely month. No life. grades dropping. sucking at life and getting used to it and NOT caring about it.

I don't want to act like someone I'm not... I want to be me... I want to cry. I want to do crazy things with my makeup and be able to take good pictures and wear crazy stuff. I want to have some courage. I want I want I want. selfish? SURE. Say it how you think it is.

I got a new journal from my cousin that's REALLY nice.

I almost cried because I don't have anything I can use it for. Everything but DD is GONE.

I love everyone's devianations. ): I really do. 285 left. They really inspire me. and It's just all trapped. I have to ignore it. and just write. how awfully painful it is.

]]> *Midnight53 DD http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/28486552/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/28486552/ Sat, 21 Nov 2009 11:11:29 PST

not daily devianation. xD hell no. or daily deviant or anything. hahaha. Diamante Defense.

It's... going. I finished part one and I'm REALLY behind in writing. T___T like. 5,000 words. I'm going to try and catch up a lot today. We'll see.

On the other hand... I haven't been able to do any free art. Just class stuff. It really makes me sad.

I also want to take photos. I've been wanting to for a long time but I can't take pictures of myself and no one else will let me take pictures of them. T___T My dad said he would take pictures of me in random stuff... cause I kinda want that now, too. but he randomly got really sick when it was decided. and I need the rest of one of my costumes to be able to really start... *sighs* and this novel. uugghhhh

I got some awesome Willy Wonka type glasses. they're amazing.

and yeah. ...

I'm urning to do so much and I can't. T___T It's sad.

and I HATE cooking, btw. I hate thanksgiving with my mom's side of the family when all the girls are in the kitchen cooking and all the guys are lazily watching a football game. My parents won't support me NOT wanting to cook and it is now a choir. ... I hate being a girl. I want to be like a guy. I want to act freely. Do all this stuff I really want to do but it's not possible. It's really sad and I'm actually having a huge problem with it. *sihgs* We'll see how everything goes...

24 on ACT btw... heh....

]]> *Midnight53 And NaNoWriMo starts http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/28084449/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/28084449/ Sun, 01 Nov 2009 10:40:26 PST

and I might actually die this year! :'D I'm GOING to do it. but god.... it's going to be difficult. I'm actually working this year and going out of state for thanksgiving and all that stuff. haha....

Diamante Defense.

Do you want me to update every day with what I've written? Or not? Just wait...?

]]> *Midnight53 hello there http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/28013708/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/28013708/ Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:47:36 PDT

I'm still alive. lol
238 devianations I'm not getting to tonight. Yeserday I wasn't at school due to lack of sleep from other stuff... *sighs* I REALLY need to go to a doctor. Which sucks. But that's okay.
report cards coming tomorrow. haha I'll work on stuff, though! new stuff..... so I'll be back soon!

]]> *Midnight53 Sense when do I have self-confidence? http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27750274/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27750274/ Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:05:39 PDT

I really am having a horrible time. I hate this. I was only able to get 3 hours of sleep last night when I was already tired and getting sick. My parents think I have the same self-confidence as every other teenager. I DON'T. I CONSTANTLY think I'm no good. I constantly want to give up. I constantly just stop and cry because I don't do ANYTHING else. I have emotion breakdowns NO ONE knows about and I can't even tell anyone if I wanted to! My parents are STALKING my facebook page. thus no privacy. I try to have a family decussion to try and let myself feel a bit better but, of course, it made it worse. they thought they knew what I was thinking and just... just made it horrible. and it's all just little things. I'm tired. My art class SUCKS this year. I'm sick and tired of it. I hate dealing with people. I'm HAPPY to be the lister I'm known to be. I WILL listen. But I just CAN'T sometimes. I can't when I have my own problems. I can't feel bad for you when I feel extremely bad. I just can't do it. I just... I'll parallel. But even if it's lesser than anyone else's problem I want some time to just... be ABLE to coplain. I need to let it out somewhere. and I CAN'T! I want to write but I can't. I want to draw but I can't. I want to work on my commission but I can't. I want to just ge tout of my house but I can't. ): I hated having to be the person, the only person to go up to my teacher to say "So you mentioned that if we couldn't pay for the class trip you would help us out.... well... I need that help..." it's EMBARRASSING! In person.... the people at school and church... my close friends? I don't feel supported by. At all. It's just continuous "no one cares." I really don't have self-confidence. That is what I hear. It's what enters my ears by actions or anything. I always meet someone and so I wait, thinking they're busy... I look in to see and they're just... sitting there. I can't go in.... it broke my heart. I wait a total of around.... hm. an hour. everyday. It doesn't matter.... I wrote something? Oh? It doesn't matter. I drew? I painted? It doesn't matter. and I'm sorry but I NEED support. and not from online friends. :\ It's nice but.... I can't tell lies on here. I am having a rough time....

]]> *Midnight53 Devious Journal Entry http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27695385/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27695385/ Sat, 10 Oct 2009 20:46:49 PDT

gah. I"m sorry I haven't been on much. T___T I have a hopeful thing I want to happen here and I'm too much of a cowarad to check it all the time or.... mention it. lol to ANYONE. *sigh* Oh well.
But I really haven't been here because I have been busy. If I'm not wokring homework it's commision work or trying to catch up on sleep... or being sick. I've been in 'tired' mode for a week now, which is what happened when I had mono 2 years ago....;____; it doesn't seem that long ago. haha....
anyway. yeah... I actually have three commisions now. :3 and my mom saw a bithday present I"m doing for someone in progress and she's like "

I want one! .... if I have money....." lol so that was odd.
I'm also making a piece, or pieces, that will be featured in a festival-type-thing at my old school and will be auctioned off.

I'm a bit nervous for that, I must say. Part, or all, of the money goes to the school.... but it's geet my work out. =^^= I almost like sculpting like this more than drawing. o_o; .... almost.....
yeah.......

]]> *Midnight53 I feel just great! :D http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27622663/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27622663/ Tue, 06 Oct 2009 19:32:54 PDT

haha. Seeing how my grandmother got taken to the hospital in an ambulence, the car's starting to stall all the time--my future car, by the way. My crush, although I know and knew he's gay, loves sharing with me how he likes this one guy.... and that's heartbreaking. but I will accept it and see how they work if they get together.
art class pisses me off. *sighs* I get reminded of my imperfections in art way too much. .... *shakes head* When i get the chance to express my own individual stories and ideas through art.... I can only think of ROMANCE which is NOT what I want to express. at all. That's not me. Not the side I want to talk about. *sighs*
writing. T__T... I don't even want to go into that. every time I write I feel horrible because I think I shouldn't even call myself a writer.
and I seem really emo.
funny thing was I dressed gothic today. platform buckle boots and all.
..... *headdesk*

]]> *Midnight53 do you feel the string around your neck? http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27540007/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27540007/ Fri, 02 Oct 2009 13:50:01 PDT

or the ice that freezes in your stomach? or the butterflies that replace it when the ice melts?
It's there... and... well. It's not about me. *sighs* I can't even be secure in a journal, neh?
the stupid mood won't change.

]]> *Midnight53 update http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27509467/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27509467/ Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:19:00 PDT

definately didn't win the 9 contest.
definately not having a fun time with life right now T___T Call it PMSing. It probably is. But I'm sick and tired of losing. and I thought I was over some stuff and the stupid boy goes and shows how much he enjoys my company. It's TORTURE yet I love it so much. It makes my heart feel like it's ripping apart but I love it. I just have to... and it's so stupid and I just sound like a stupid teenage girl. and I hate it. and It's just.... bad news makes my chest tighten and I want to throw up.
My itouch is gone. I can't find it anywhere. It fell out of my pocket randomly. I'm freaking out without it. I tried to stay calm. I was already trying to sve for a new one. but I miss it. I'm scared. so I'm trying to work even harder on art and stuff and then, of course, that's when homework starts to get pilled up.

I'm starting commisions again. I will be getting a paypal but it'll mainly be for people I know in person unless there's a miricle someone I don't know will buy form me--but the commisons are for anything. Including making the creatures out of random objects. .... *sighs*

I'm trying.

wish me luck.

]]> *Midnight53 Dialoge in the dark/bodies http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27412299/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27412299/ Fri, 25 Sep 2009 15:45:36 PDT

I went on a psych feildtrip and it was AWESOME! x3 We went to Atalanta, Georgia and saw the exibits "Dialoge in the dark" and "bodies"

Dialoge in the Dark is where we're completely blinded and we go through set up areas with just walking sticks. They make real scenes, like a kitchen and a boat and a park.... *thinks* and a restrant. Where we could actually but drinks. and it was REALLY cool!

The feel of everything was real and I couldn't tell you what it looked like but I could go on about what it sounded like and felt like... lol it was really cool!

the Bodies was an exibit with actually humans bodies that we got to look at. There was this one that was REALLY cool because you looked at it and was like "Oh. They got two bodies, one muscle and one a skeleton, and put them together to form a V" (you know, when the feet are together and they're holding themselves form falling by hoding hands?) but then we read the things next to it and found out it was one body

To symbolic the support the skeleton gives the muscles! It was really cool!

I DEFINATELY suggest going!

]]> *Midnight53 Sad Story http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27382465/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27382465/ Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:50:33 PDT

I heard a very sad story the other day and I felt like sharing... this i sby no way meant to change opinons. Just... a situation that occured in another country.

In Europe they have universal Healthcare. In that they will pay for any childbirth if the baby is more than 22 weeks old (which is when it's counted as a viable citizen.)
There was a woman who was pregnant--she was at 22 weeks. She went into labor. She was rushed to the hospital. The child was born with completely developed lungs, heart, and everything. It was just small. An hour later the baby died in it's mother's arms. The healthcare wouldn't cover the child so they could help it live because it wasn't over 22 weeks old.

This is not something to be turned into a chain to say "Be against the Healthcare!" or anything like that. It's just a sad story I heard and wanted to share. I'm not even saying something like that would happen in the United states so don't take it that way.... it's just a sad story. :\

I'm going to pray for the mother...

]]> *Midnight53 *shake shake shake* http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27294124/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27294124/ Sat, 19 Sep 2009 06:32:03 PDT

.____. I entered the huge contest again. and I'm freaking out. over 2 thousand enteries and I'm REALLY doubting I'll even get in the top 25, which Shane Acker is judging.... T___T but I can hope. I love my creatures.

I even forgot to mention that Keytle's head is the speakers part of a.... speaker.... lol. a mini portable one and sense it's closed I don't think I can edit it.... oh well.

I might continue making these things because it is fun. it really is and I have about 30 glue sticks left xD let's see how many MORE times I can burn myself, neh?

A chicken and a turtle. xD lol.

I wonder if anyone got the thing about Keytle's tail being a pen tip. >___> lol I tried not to mention it.

Oh!My dad took the pictures for me because he has the super cameras so... yeah. I think he really got the detail ^^

so wish me luck while I shake in the corner, not knowing when I'll get any results o_o;;;

]]> *Midnight53 respondable http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27229309/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27229309/ Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:53:27 PDT

This one is not as long and is respondable. xD

I think I'm going to start taking requests. Right now I have to work on the ones I owe but we'll see. I won't take any before I get the ones done and I make sure the contest winners get their winnings!

Teasing a single person always brightens my day. especially when they enjoy it.

and working on characters. $@^*$^@&#^&@ Connor is driving me nuts. His design is extremely difficult for me to draw and on top of that... well he's just difficult. lol. *headdesk*
and I have a 91 in anatomy. honors. versus a 100 in AP Pysch. though compare that with the AP Lang test I had today and probably totally failed. 8D thankfully I automatically have a 10%

I'm going up from there!
9-something in government. 100 in art. 100 in Teacher cadets (I think o_o; ) and... what class am I missing? ... is that six? *counts* it is!

I'm doing a LOT better than I was last year. three 100s is good but to see what classes I have them in.... it doesn't really say much.

Shayyon (pernounces Saun. er. Shaune. or whatever...) has a 100 in anatomy. >___> *le sigh* I'm working on it!!!! *shakes fist* lol. T___T oh well. I need to work on my essay writing skills, too, apparently. lol. I got a 5 out of 9 on one (which she put at a 89% but.... it would originally be a lot less. ) and that's really sad for someone who wants to write well. Which is why I'm taking the class.... ;___; *sniff* Oh well. That AP Lang will be the one that kills me if it's not anatomy. Which I have a quiz in tomorrow.... *headdesk* Wish me luck!

and luck in starting to apply to colleges with my crappy scored T___T

tt ya'll later!

]]> *Midnight53 Disclaimer http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27213685/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27213685/ Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:05:37 PDT

This is a disclaimer and doesn't even need to be commented on but I feel the need to say it here so I don't have to say it everywhere else and people simly understand my position... because I don't like repeating myself so this is what I'll do! ^^ This is in NO way meant to be offensive and if it's taken that way.... well it wasn't meant to!

if there are concerns or anything said that actually does seem offensive I definately don't mind it being commented on and I will explain why I said it like I did or something. Maybe rephrase it with a "wel I guess it's better said this way" type thing. (lol this is a disclaimer to a disclaimer!

)

political wise- I am a Libritarian. I like being a Libritarian. This does NOT mean I find any and all people who are not Conservatives/Libritarians stupid. This does not mean I don't get why anyone else believes different things. Please do not assume just because I believe one thing that I think everyone else is stupid. Because sorry, that's stupid. Assuming is stupid and I fully know that I assume. It is a stupid moment that I have been trying to work on for years. Because I'm a Libritarian does NOT, by any means, mean that I don't agree with some liberals. In fact I agree with MANY of them but I just am mainly Libritarian. Because I'm a Libritarian does NOT mean that I think Obama is the worst president ever or that he's doing a horrible job. I simply don't agree with what he's doing because of personal reasons and I can clearly see why some people love him or agree with him. If it's going to affect me personally, though, I will do something about it just because that's my morals and if it affects people close to me it affects me, therefore I will definately go to T.E.A. parties like I did this last weekend. I did NOT go there to say he was a bad president. I did NOT go there because of the whole 'no birth certificate' or 'he wasn't born here.' I did NOT go there because the rise of the debt and nor did I go there to paint his face like the joker and mock him. I find most of that ridiculous. I went thre for completely personal reasons and frankly, some of the other people there (conservatives, liberals, democrates, etc) I didn't want to be associated with. Do I think Obama should have another term? Well that depends on what he does next. I won't say right away that he won't get better. But if he doesn't then I definately won't vote for him. But that's just me personally. It could be all good for others and that's perfectly fine with me. Will I vote for Sarah Palin? I don't know. Maybe. Because I definately agree with her more than Obama. Again, for personal reasons. I can DEFINATELY see why people don't like her and thinks she's an idiot. I, of course, wish there could be a fully open mind on that and I am fully aware I don't even have a fully open side on the liberal side, though I have a hint. I'm not perfect. I try to make sure I know both sides, though. Most likely I'll be voting for an independant or something like that. But really. I don't know. It depends what happens in the next few years. and I do NOT want comments on this trying to side me with one or the other. This is not what this journal is for. This is my disclaimer. If this is offensive then that is simply how you take it and not how I mean it: If you comment on this without reading it all, thus saying something about how conservatives, Sarah Palin, Barak Obama, or anything/one are stupid then I will not respond to the comment because I don't hate any side and I personally don't want to know yours because I get tense and uncomfortable even when someone says the slightest comment that implies thinking my beliefs are stupid. So to not yell and be stupid in my own response I must do that, I hope you can all understand that. but in summary: because of the title that is given to me does not mean all other titles that go to others I find wrong. I definately think Liberals have good reasons for being Liberals and Conservatives for being Conservatives. I think both sides have smart and stupid people within; people who don't research and just give themselves a title and find just stupid reasons to hate a person to have someone to hate. So any comments about hating EITHER side and the comment will be blocked and ignored. This is my santuary. and I wish people could be happy that I'm wokring with something I feel strongly about, even if they have a different opinion. Though, I know, some people will say they shouldn't be happy for me if they really disagree.... and I will say 'that's okay' though secretly wonder many things. Which is simply my personality. I actually don't know what you'll say... so we'll simply s... ]]> *Midnight53 *giggles* http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27188509/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27188509/ Sun, 13 Sep 2009 10:57:30 PDT

2 million people estimated. and finally I could be completely relaxed.
back home and the wall is back up for I will not under any circumstances talk about politics here. xD Neveh. It's just cool to know I was part of history fighitng for something I personally am against and to finally be able to talk to people who are as educated as me about it... and they were so nice!
Some were stupid, as both sides can be, and used the birth certificate thing. Which I personally think is a bunch of bull but I really don't know about that.
gosh I'm bringing in politics. xD los sientos. Don't debate on this! por favor and all that stuff.
All I really am meaning to say is I was finally able to talk about it openly with knowing I wouldn't be jabbed at. Even though I was quized multiple times on how much I knew so that they knew I knew why I was there.... lol

but here's something you can comment on! :
this guy 'fathered' me there and I told him I wanted to be an artist. He flipped out. xD and handed me a piece of paper and did an art challenge that was at the school he taught at. When I finished he told me to sign it and that he was keeping it so when I was famous he would have one of my original pieces. xDDD
it was a landscape with a barn and a river and stuff. it was crazy hard because he told me things to add as I was drawing it to see how I would compose it. xD It was pretty cool.
and then this other lady freaked out, too... it was funny.
sleep wise. know sleeping on a bus is NOT comfortable. xD we were all like zombies except those super crazy people. xD
but I"m back, though, and I'll get the pictures of my 'Bud' up eventually. xD I"m so nervous about that contest. xD

]]> *Midnight53 8D @____@ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27150043/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27150043/ Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:01:12 PDT

So I now get to leave at 9 pm and travel AALLLLLL night to Washington DC and stay there all day and drive AAALLLLLLL the way back tomorrow night. It will be so much fun :3 So worth it to me.
Only thing that sucks is I have a psych quiz on Monday. Which I've studied for already.... so.... >___> *shrug*
I didn't sleep well last night really because when I have a lot of homework (for my work load) I do it instead of sleeping. lol. which means waking up at 5:30 in the morning. xD I'm all good with it. I'll probably attempt to sleep on the bus.
and some know what I'm talking about and why this excites me so much but the majority won't know what I'm talking about: In teacher cadet we get to pick a first grader to pen pal with so we learn how to read the handwriting. and so today we went to the school and performed puppet shows to them and after mine I sat with them and I saw this one boy was really quiet so I started talking to him.... to find out his name is Connor. *giggles*

]]> *Midnight53 sorreh http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27053184/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27053184/ Sun, 06 Sep 2009 11:43:59 PDT

I know most people don't like drama or to hear people talk about their drama and stuff. and I'm not going to get into it... i can't typically talk about it here, anyway. But I've calmed down a bit. I'm wokring out stuff. But I'm going to let you know I'm alive... and here's my list of what's going on:

-I have 124 devianations, 30 messages, and 2 notes. I'll get to them. Other things need to be done first even though I'm dying to get to my devianations. I want to enjoy them. and that's not made up. It's not an excuse because I WILL read them and look at them all.
-I'm wokring on my sculpture to enter into the 9 contests. I have high doubts I won't even get into the top 25 but I can hope and still work on it. Do you want in progress pictures for that? The sculpure is called (warning: language) machine-creature-bastard. ^^ It was suggested I put that as the title. xD I'm not too sure about that, though.
- the painting WILL get up here. Maybe even later today. I just need to get my dad to take a picture of it because it's too big for my scanner. o_o; and stuff.
- "Ashley" was my entrance for that contest I lost and still can't find and now it's over. ;___; but I'mm submit that as my first piece done wth copic markers. I still need to color it. Would you care if I put both up at once?
-our internet is %&$%&# up. We got the verizon one now that is just temporary and it's a good little thing... but it SUCKS because my dad can turn it off whever he wants and if he does certain things it just shuts off all other internet.
-I broke down in church today. parents got worried. I almost stoped to art and writing. It's hard to handle critique or no comments. I'm working on it. I won't expect anything. and I can't and WON'T tell ANYONE to look at my stuff. That's not me. I want it to be other people's idea.
-I'm designing at poster for someone. and a logo for the whole mauldin police. for free. it's lovely. I want commisions. T___T all my friends are poor. except a few. who have no interest in commisioning me. so. yeah. ;__;
-I have a 100 average in my pysch AP class. and an 86 or so in my anatomy Honors. O_o ... A 93 or so in Government... I'm working this year. I"m working! I'll get up that anatomy grade! and government.... the others I don't really have grades for yet....
-I renewed my membership

-I spoke in front of a whole bunch of people (ssshhhh you can't know who it is!! no one ever can!!)
-I need to work out a lot. it's so much fun.

I won't mention much more. xD

]]> *Midnight53 sorreh http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27053163/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27053163/ Sun, 06 Sep 2009 11:43:01 PDT

-I spoke in front of a whole bunch of people (ssshhhh you can't know who it is!! no one ever can!!)
-I need to work out a lot. it's so much fun.

I won't mention much more. xD

]]> *Midnight53 touchy http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27048514/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/27048514/ Sun, 06 Sep 2009 06:24:47 PDT

I deleted my past journal because some people are too touchy and close to the song. Or songs.
and I can't even talk about what's going on because I'll just get yelled at for it.
I would delete a journal if it meant something important to a friend and they didn't want me to put it up.
People. If it EVER is like that just ask me to take it down. I WILL. I don't want a friendship ruined over putting up lyrics to a song I like in a journal.

ttyl when I can think of other things to say

]]> *Midnight53 another update because my mind is blank! http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26899742/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26899742/ Sat, 29 Aug 2009 16:38:16 PDT

for titles, I mean. xD

Okay. So first thing. Did every see the contest DA and Focus Features is holding? I REALLY want to do that. Though I have a fear of entering because I know there are people WAY better than me on here. But it'll at least be good to widen my range. I'm already working on the diamante but I want to make something new. for fun. out of junk, still. Because it's FUN. (So for anyone who knows me in person, give me your junk! xD like broken glasses, any old electronics that don't work, broken headphones, anything. ) I'm going to have fun.

In other news.... school is fun. I'm doing REALLY well thins year. Like... I have 100s in all my classes so far xD though I haven't had a test yet. So I will say it will NOT stay that way. But really, it's my goal this year. I've slacked these last two years and my GPA and rank shows it, though I'm luckily still in the top 25% I'm really going to try.

Also, I only have a week left of my subscription. *sniff* So... lol. I'm so buying myself a new one. I can't help it. I REALLY love it.

What else....
OH! I WILL get my painting up here. It's just... too big for my scanner. xD So it's not as easy. But at least it will be harder for you to see all my mistakes!

and sloppiness!

My new character 'Ashley' needs to be put up, too, but I think I'm going to try and have her be my first copic marker piece. I already tried it with a print out copy of her lineart but I didn't haven't the right shades for the blue... but now I do!

So I WILL have her up sometime.

Also, I'm DEFINATELY going to enter NaNoWriMo against this year. and Guess what I'm doing? xD Diamante Defense! I am going to start completely over with it. I REALLY have more ideas for it and am going to work more with it. It's actually hard to just... wait until November to start. xD So I'll do a lot of outlining, I guess. xD

My art 4 class is REALLY fun, too. We get to pick what we're doing. Like... we're going to be sculpting and doing projects out of random things and taking 2D objects and making something 3D out of them. I really can't wait!

Also.... um. I'll be getting to commenting on the entries soon. AND speaking of that. My devianations. You might have noticed I've faved all the pictures and only a few pieces of literature. This is because I felt extrememly stressed with all the devianations so I just had to get the number down. So now I have 11 deviantations that are all writing and I WILL read them. i want to enjoy them. I hope you understand.

Also.... I watching Duplicity today. xD It was quite funny.

Also.... I like using also. ;D

Oh. In other news, which might not excite many people, we (my mom and I) just found a connection to Sarah Palin. This connection is simply to ask her to come to my old school (Hope academy) because she's personally involoved with special needs, which is something we REALLY have in common. She might be able to visit the school and help support it. Which is AMAZING for the school, which now has to deal with being hosted in a church that wants it to be like the school doesn't exist there. My mom, the priciples, and I will be representatives of the school if she's able to come. I don't care if you're liberal, Democrate, Conservative, rebublican, or just plain thinks Sarah Palin's stupid. I'm just amazed that my school (for that really is MY school, even if I don't go there now) will be able to be heard. That was one of my prayers throughout my life. It means a lot to me; the world to me. So I'm just.... 8D I'm just so happy they might be able to get what they deserve so much! Support, acknowledgement, and (hopefully) a GREAT building where the special needs and typical children and really have full experiences.

That is all. :3

]]> *Midnight53 Contest results- prizes added http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26821338/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26821338/ Sat, 29 Aug 2009 15:31:50 PDT

Alright!
So. Here's what I judged the contest on:
1) that it wasn't cliche
2) that it all fit together as a story or piece of work in a flowing way
3) that it fit the theme in a unique way
4) that it shows there was work put into it
5) that it is atually appealing as a piece of art (literature and art as in it follows the steps of a good piece. literature has minimun mistakes and it written when and the drawing, whether it is well drawn or not)

winners- if you want suggestions on how to improve from what I'm saying then just tell me

So. On to the results....

1st place,

's "Halja"

reason: 1) it was an original idea and incorporated more than just the "one with many faces' theme to bring it all together. Though the masks idea is a bit cliche it was brought in a less cliche way, thus making it more appealing. 2)The ending fit and flowed with the end, it had a plot, it had emotion, and was well composed to give the reader the feeling of being in the story. 3) it fit the theme in an original way 4)you can tell it was thought about for awhile and worked on 5) it is well written, as I've stated.
It really caught my attention as something unique and well thought out a put together. Very unique and inspiring.

2nd place,

's ".

ne With Many Faces:."

reason: 1) it was the tad bit cliche but the fact she used a picture and a poem that said things a bit off of the normal 2) the picture and poem flowed together and had the same emotion 3)it fit the theme in a unique way 4)you can tell work was put into it by the texture put on it and how the words are arranged and the detail and blank face in the drawing. 5) it was well drawn and well written.
so basically a downfall of it was that it was a bit cliche but it came together amazingly well. I, actually, at first wasn't thinking of putting it in second but I looked at it again and it really caught my attention. Oh, and as much as the name fit I'd prefer a more unique name given to really bring the whole thing together; the contest wasn't to make the 'one with many faces' obvious but to just incorporate it.

3rd place,

's "The One With Many Faces"

reason: 1)It was a bit cliche, using the same theme of one person with different emotions and people. As good as an idea it is, it is a bit overused. (or at least as I've seen it) 2) it had a constant theme and flowed together nicely, though a bit repetitive but that's also a form of writing. 3) It fit the theme in a unique way 4) Some thought was definately put into this. 5) It was well written, though, again, a bit repetitive. It played with emotion and personal feelings, thus drawing the reader in personally.

for the others: I'll be welcome to comment on each deviantion to say why you didn't win or just my opinon on the piece; remember it might not be that it's a bad piece but it could just be it didn't fit the theme well. A contest entry can be a wonderful piece of art but not win simply for the fact it wasn't what the contest holder (me, in this case) was looking for!

prizes: (features of 1st and 2nd place will also be held by

)
1st: feature of the winning piece and request from me (or your choice for the painting to be dedicated to you) and also a feature of ano... ]]> *Midnight53 contest update http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26798656/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26798656/ Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:57:02 PDT

The contest is being judged! I'm printing out everything (with no names but that doesn't help much due to the fact I've already looked at and read everything with the knowledge of who wrote/drew it xD

but I'm going to try and ignore it. ) and I will judge it (hopefully) tonight and the results should be up tomorrow. I'll let you know how I judged it with the results journal.

sorry again for it taking so long! I seriously haven't checked anything else on here @____@ 182 devianations, 76 messages, and 4 notes. =______=

]]> *Midnight53 sorry ya'll! http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26739433/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26739433/ Fri, 21 Aug 2009 17:35:19 PDT

Sorry I haven't finished judging the contest! I did summer work and had to get back into school sleep schedule and then school started and I got sick on the first day and so I just rested and I want to make sure I can judge it fairly and not with my head fuzzy or anything. I hope you can understand :\ but I will try my best to judge it this weekend!

school wise.... lol. my teachers are kids. All silly. All respect the fact we have other classes. and I love it. Though having three pretests in one day was headache-inducing.

Um... yeah.... so off to rest and relax to clear my head. I DO promise that deviantart wise judging is my top priority. before even checking my messages (which I now have a TON so know it will take awhile for me to get to them all. I want to be able to enjoy them!)

]]> *Midnight53 meme thing before contest results http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26644541/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26644541/ Mon, 17 Aug 2009 07:33:48 PDT

YOUR BOY SIDEÂ-
[x] You love hoodies.
[x] You love jeans.
[] Dogs are better than cats.
[] ItÂs hilarious when people get hurt.
[] Shopping is torture.
[] Sad movies suck.
[x] You own a car racing game.
[x] You played with Hot Wheels cars as a kid.
[x] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[x] You owned a DS, PS2, N64,or Sega.
[] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
[x] You have watched sports on TV
[x] Gory movies are cool.
[] You go to your dad for advice.
[] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[] You used to collect hockey cards.
[] Baggy sweats are cool to wear.
[x] ItÂs kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[] Sports are fun
[x]You talk with food in your mouth.
[x] You sleep with your socks on at night.
[x] You have fished at least once

Â-YOUR GIRL SIDEÂ-
[x] You love to shop.
[] You wear eyeliner
[] You wear the color pink.
[x] You go to your mom to talk.
[x] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[] You hate wearing the color black.
[x] You like going to the mall.
[] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[x] You like wearing jewelry.
[x] You cried watching The Notebook.
[] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[x] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[] You donÂt like the movie Star Wars
[] You are/were in gymnastics
[x] It takes you around one hour to shower, get dressed
[x] You smile a lot more than you should.
[] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] You care about what you look like.
[] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[] You like wearing high heel shoes.
[x] You used to play with dolls as little kid.
[x] You like putting make-up on others.
[] You like being the star of everything. (I'd really rather be in the back. lol)
[] Pink is one of your favorite colors.

Appearance Â

[x] I am shorter than 5â²5â³.
[] I have many scars. (two...?)
[x] I tan/ burn easily.
[] I wish my hair was a different color.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] IÂve had/have braces.
[] IÂve been told IÂm attractive by a complete stranger.
[] I have more than two piercings.
[] I have / had piercings in places besides my ears.

Â Embarrassment Â

[x] IÂve slipped out a ÂlolÂ in a spoken conversation.
[] Disney movies still make me cry.
[] IÂve snorted while laughing.
[x] IÂve laughed so hard IÂve cried.
[x] IÂve glued my hand to something.
[x] IÂve laughed Âtil some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[] IÂve had my pants rip in public. (they fell down...)

Â Health Â

[] IÂve gotten stitches.
[] Broken a bone.
[x] IÂve had my tonsils removed.
[] IÂve sat in a doctorÂs office with a friend.
[] IÂve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[] IÂve had serious surgery.
[x] IÂve had chicken pox.

Â Traveling Â

[x] IÂve driven / riden over 200 miles in one day.
[x] IÂve been on a plane.
[] IÂve been to Canada.
[] IÂve been to Cuba.
[] IÂve been to Niagara Falls.
[] IÂve been to Ottawa.
[] IÂve gone to Sudbury.
[] IÂve been to the Caribbean.
[] IÂve been to Europe
[x] IÂve been to Florida

Â Experiences Â

[x] IÂve gotten lost in my city.
[x] IÂve seen a shooting star.
[x] IÂve wished on a shooting star.
[] IÂve seen a meteor shower.
[x] IÂve gone out in public in my pajamas.
[] IÂve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[] IÂve kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] IÂve been to a casino. (...don't ask. )
[] IÂve been skydiving.
[] IÂve gone skinny-dipping.
[] IÂve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] IÂve crashed a car.
[] IÂve been skiing.
[] IÂve been in a musical.
[x] IÂve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
[] IÂve seen the Northern Lights.
[x] IÂve sat on a rooftop at night.
[x] IÂve played a prank on someone.
[] IÂve ridden in a taxi.
[] IÂve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] IÂve eaten Sushi
[] IÂve been snowboarding.

Â Honesty / Crime Â

[x] IÂve done something I promised someone else I wouldnÂt.
[x] IÂve done something I promised myself I wouldnÂt.
[] IÂve snuck out.
[x] IÂve lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] IÂve cheated while playing a g... ]]> *Midnight53 CONTEST CLOSED! http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26530054/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26530054/ Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:06:19 PDT

Lol. The contest's closed and I'll be judging the week!

The results will be in by the time my school starts. So... by the 19th.

on another note. 500 Days of Summer is an AMAZING movie.

]]> *Midnight53 hum de dum... oops. http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26460992/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26460992/ Sat, 08 Aug 2009 09:12:52 PDT

I feel really bad I can't remember who's hosting the 'unique character' contest.

I drew my entry and then wondered if it was even still open and then I almost beat myself up for not remembering. and it's probably not even running anymore. lol. I'll still finish the picture... haha I just need to know if I need to still think up the background and stuff...

In other news...

I got my driver's license yesterday :3
and
I got my phone back. Which I think was a 'congragulations' and a 'I'm sorry' from my dad.... but I got it back. :3

and....
yeah. hahaha

I drove to my friend's yesterday. haha. made me realize I need to know where I'm going before I go. lolol

and.... yeah. People in South Carolina? Watch out. :3

I'm a good driver, though!

... lol.

]]> *Midnight53 In and out. In and out. http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26399340/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26399340/ Wed, 05 Aug 2009 10:17:41 PDT

Don't think pervertedly about the title. lol. I mean breathing.

and I am doing better though nothing is resolved from what got me into my crazed state. I still want to get out and all that stuff. I have to get a job lined up... and I can't do an hourly job during school because of all the clubs and stuff... I need to find a way to be independant, though. I REALLY want to start working more with commisions. The thing is, though, I don't have connections. I don't have anyone who loves my art enough to commision me... or they do love it and don't have the money to commision me... but how my plan is going I need enough money built up over the summer and a little study job (hopefully with commissions and stuff... hopefully....) to be able to pay for an apartment that's $550 a month. T______T and that's for a single room. Now two bedroom and getting a roommate would be wonderful. But I know no one who wants to room with me.

and again, no income. I have the weddings which pays $50 per event. Which is not even every month...

Anyone have connections that could help me out?

Or know any weekend jobs maybe I could look into? I just don't kknow of many weekend jobs... or people who can commission me...

in other news... te things that were bothering me...

one cannot be mentioined on here....

another I got put out of creative writing just when I figured out how much I love writing.

Had the chance to see Adam Lambert. Loved it. Had the chance for him to see my painting. Found out we had to buy these wristbands to get in to see him. Thought of an idea to get him to see it and my dad wouldn't let us try. Which led to a huge fight. and total embarrassment. oh well, neh?

My grandmother went to a doctor appointment and we found our her heart is surrounded by this liquid (I don't know what) that's not good... at all. and her heart is beatting too fast... which means it won't be much longer... and they won't do anything about it.

... another I can't mention which has to do a bit with the first unmentioned...

The story that meant so much to me doesn't really mean anything to me anymore... The first day it meant so much but the second... the third... and every day after... it doesn't mean anything anymore. Not that story... It was pure emotion when I wrote it and now...

Nothing.

I admire my brother and now it's like I'm an insect and not that important to him anymore because he's in the big world. He'll still hug me and stuff... and talk to me about colege and give me college books and stuff... but... he doesn't talk to me like he used to. I miss having someone around and now even my parents have to go into work. (my mom didn't have a summer job and my dad worked at home) and my phone was taken and everyone left... and I was really lonely... AM really lonely... As much as I love talking here, on the internet, no one is HERE so I can talk outloud and stuff like that. I have a voice and it just seems I can't talk with anyone... except MEgan. You saved my day last night. ;___; Sexual jokes and teasing her is the best cure for anything, I swear. Oh. and the magical Benjamin and Aaron. Which are what most of the jokes are about, actually. ... *snickers* ... she even made a joke about it. xD but yeah... everyone else was gone until then, though...

uummmm...... yeah... that's basically it.... except my dad says TONS of stuff when he's mad/tired and I believe ever word he says then. i take him seriously... and so when I'm upset because of his reaction I tell him what he said and all he says is "I don't really mean those. I was tired. Come on." ... he shouldn't say things. He never did apologize for everything he did. Just "I shouldn't have said that/done that" ...... it was a pure genius thing to have a yardsale the morning of a concert. Pure genius.

*sighs*

I made money, though.
and spent it.... all. I had almost $100 and spent some at the concert and the rest on my new copic markers. .... I love those things. ;___; I need more. but I'm poor now. and I have 12.... but I need different shades and stuff.... haha.... they're fun.

anyway... yeah.... thanks to those who tried to help

It realy does mean a lot. ...

Um... anyone have advice on how to tell someone that a little thing they did actually really hurt without the result being a blast of... ]]> *Midnight53 I introduce to you... http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26365768/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26365768/ Mon, 03 Aug 2009 18:38:29 PDT

Something is wrong with me and I don't know what. I feel completely rejected and completely... gone. Just... gone. I thought I could handle it today. I could keep myself together... I could forget. I could relax... and I was able to at first. Then it all came back. and I couldn't keep from crying. I cried while writing and had to finsih up quickly at putting it up before we went to dinner when my excuss for looking down all the time and hiding behind my hat was that I was tired. I get home... and they came again. and it won't stop. and... I truthfully don't know what's wrong with me. I'm scared. I can still laugh... and I can still be happy a gay guy is now on the stupid Secret Life show... and I can try and be happy I bought 8 new copic markers for 30% off... but I still just go back to crying. and all I want to do is go to sleep early and I even have the small hope of not waking up. and I hate talking about this, especially over the internet. But I can't talk to ANYONE now and something's wrong... and I don't know what to do. The only reason I'm even up now is because I'm waiting on the stupid rasberries on Farmville on facebook.

I'm not a depressing person.... I always look up. It's how I survive... but I just... can't. This last piece I entered here means more to me than anything I've put up. It's me. and... no one's read it. In fact, it has no views. ... Reality is this, it seems. No one's here. and I'm apart from my family like I've never been before. and really... I don't know how much more of this I can take. I have one year of high school left and it seems too long. I feel completely stupid writing these journals and descriptions with how I feel because either people ignore them or just... can't say anything. The responses are just... responses...

I wish everyone would tell the truth. Not lie. Not even to make me feel better.

I can't even be me anymore so what's the point in continueing on like this? and maybe it's I need sleep but I've gotten two full nights of sleep. nine or ten hours each.

I have to have in my mind "I'll be back soon. I'll be able to talk about the concert more ethusiasticly without lying about my feelings soon. I will be able to stop acting. I can keep it to myself. I can just move past it and it'll all be behind me" but the longer it goes on the more I just want to go away. To fade from existence... but I won't commit suicide or anything. I have things to do... but something's wrong now. I feel like I need help and I can't even talk to my parents.

I introduce to you: me.

]]> *Midnight53 Weekend http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26353560/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26353560/ Mon, 03 Aug 2009 07:33:58 PDT

Haha. I have to lie a lot. So know this isn't the complete truth and me filtering my mind so I can keep staying at this house ^^ Which won't be long because I'm going to leave in a year. and Be in a dorm. Or an apartment. Either dorms at Charleston or dorm/apartment at/near Greenville tech I bet. but anyway... here goes the lying!

The yardsale (we had one Saterday morning) went well and I ended up making $72 so that's pretty nice! ^^

was there and a lot of my friends came over. then that ended (dude. I sold a SP and 3 pokemon games for $15. the total of what I spent on them when I got them in over 200.

*sigh* )

So the concert. For American Idol.
Lol.
The contestants were SO much better than they were on the show. No kidding. It was amazing. The backgrounds they had were mezmorizing, too. :3 Scott did amazing and hit notes we thought he never could. and they ALL did really well. and Allision was amazing x3
and
Adam Lambert.
OMG. EVERYONE stood up for him and was calling his name when they knew he was coming out. and he ROCKED. He was amazing and (warning sexual themes and suggestiveness coming up) basically had sex with the microphone pole during the first song(Whole Lotta Love), second song he was more sober and sang the AMAZING Starlight by Muse. then he sang Life on Mars. Now... O___O during that he was dancing and doing this snake type dance with his body and thrusting and all this stuff.He took of his jecket, too, to reveal just a vest xDDD it was so funny. and Then he introducted Allision and they sang Slow Ride together. hahahahaah 8D and a girl through her bra on stage xD and he twirled it and used it as a prop. then another handed theirs to Allison who gave it to Adam. hahahaha. He through them out to the crowd later, of course. xD but it was REALLY funny. he ended with Mad World and.... gosh. sober again and amazing. smoke and stuff again

oh. and that's just for what eye pleasing parts. (so sexul themes and suggestiveness is over with) (lol anyone ever thought I would talk like that or like this kind of stuff? hahaha. I love it.

)
the vocals were like.... like.... undescribable. it was so good. wonderful. Heaven.

and then the innocent Kris came on
and no kidding here. Evveryone sat down except a few here and there. Adam ruled the night. and from the fanbase we saw we're pretty sure Fox just SAID he won because they couldn't have Adam win. Kris didn't hit notes that everyone else there could.

and..... we just went home (that part was the lie but not going into it ^^ )

]]> *Midnight53 temporary journal http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26256626/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26256626/ Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:15:00 PDT

So I really am torn about what to say about my latest devianation. I've gotten... people who comment, but don't fav and people who fav but don't comment... and only two people did both. and they're my close friends.

*sigh* I have mixed reactions to reactions to it, if that makes sense.

I'm angry
and sad
and a bit happy

those emotions aren't about whether people faved/commented. That's just a little thing that goes off in my head as funny.

overall? I don't think the majority of people got it at all.

so... I guess there's a need for an explination.

Basically what I was trying to say in the poem is there can be someone who thinks they'll NEVER be great but they want to. They're tired of trying different things, which is why her body is physically damaged. She looks for more to life and finds out to be GREAT they don't have to be an amazing dancer or sing or anything like that. You could end up changing the world by changing one person. Just... getting THAT person to think more openly. Help THEM do something.

That's how I feel like MY life is. I won't be someone amazing but I want to open other people's mind so THEY can do something. I think that's what my job is. I'm happy to do it.

I can break down the symbolism if need be...

but so there's some:
the dancing in the beginning is not literal. It is the freedom of KNOW you like something. Have you ever seen dancers? You KNOW while watching them that's what they want to do. That's what I meant by that.

....

I can see how the symbolism can look like cliche symbols so if you want me to break it down line by line I'm more than happy to do that.

Sense the symbolism IS different I fully understand people not getting it.

Just to clear up stuff so I can breath a bit!

]]> *Midnight53 Influencials http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26186514/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26186514/ Sun, 26 Jul 2009 09:11:09 PDT

contest: [link] Dealine's August 10th! Come on people! I only got three entries! I wanna see more!

I have the feeling that I shouldn't post more rants because I find out too much... o_o; but whatever....

In other news! Remember how I said I was stuck on two projects? WEll..... I worked on Influencials. and I have three pages done. (the third isn't inked, though) and then there's no cover yet... do you still want me to post it?

Updates for it will take FOREVER probably hahaha... yeah.... just wanted a change of journal.

]]> *Midnight53 sex before marriage rant (personal opinon) http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26114964/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26114964/ Wed, 22 Jul 2009 18:43:11 PDT

contest: [link] Dealine's August 10th! Come on people! I only got three entries! I wanna see more!

So. On my last thing I asked if anyone wanted to hear my rant on sex before marriage and a LOT of people said they wanted to read it xD hahah THAT surprised me. So. Here it is. But warning! This is just my opinon. If you don't agree I'm perfectly fine with it. If you like the idea of having sex whenever, that's all hot. If you think it has to be after marriage then that's hot, too. :3

So it's kinda weird to start it in a journal when I feel like I'm just talking to myself but here it goes! I believe there is a seperate ting between pure sex and 'making love.' I think that it is extremely said that there is just pure sex when there's no love just for pleasure. it makes me think of humans as purely animals when one of the many things that seperates us from other animals is the fact we can THINK and LOVE. It's gifts so it makes me sad. I've never had sex but I've heard it's amazing. That's all good. But ALL you get out of the sex that has no love is... well. sex. that pleasure. But not the pleasure of love. Not the pleasure of knowing that ONE person loves you and only you. That's when I think you should have sex. when it's 'making love.'

Now. That does NOT mean you say 'OH! I REALLY love my girlfriend/boyfriend so I can make love to her/him! : DDDDDD" No. I don't believe you can TRUELLY know someone well enough to know you love them until years have past.

I know many people probably think they can love in a very short amount of time. But for me I'd rather know the person giving themself to me is giving themselves to ME and not just what they think I am.

So.... we can go on and say a couple has been dating for.... 3 years. They're out of school (because I'm sorry. sex in school messes up your hormones and I just don't agree with it because I don't want to deal with the hormones xD or... chance of getting pregnant. even with condoms. and... I know I won't truelly love anyone in school because I want to focus on school work...) so they're out of school. Do I think they should have sex before marriage? Well. If they're close enough to have sex... if they love each other enough to have sex then I think they're close enough to get married. So... why not plan the date? Get engaged then and I think sex is fine then. I mean.... I would feel REALLY weird knowing I had sex with someone else before the one I marry. But this is just me and how I think.... because I hate just sex but I love making love. :3 though I never have xD again. and won't for awhle... and really, i'm okay with that. and those boys (or girls....) who just want to get laid? There's this thing you can do called masturbation. and as embarrassing as that is I think it's a LOT better than raping or unloving sex. :/ I wouldn't even find it gross if I knew a person who did it.

Again. there are TONS of different opinons. This is simply mine....

Just think how great love sex is if plain out sex is said to be amazing xD

plus. someone you love knows more about you and ways that please you the most.

....

okay this is awkward now.

....
lol

I hope you enjoyed the rant and you're welcome to ask questions

please don't tell me I'm wrong. It's a matter of opinon. I respect others so please respect mine.

you're welcome to say what you believe but don't say it in a way that's like 'well i believe this because what you're saying is stupid' because that's not fair, either.

so yeah....

end rant. lol

]]> *Midnight53 100 truths (stolen! >:3 ) http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26084178/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26084178/ Tue, 21 Jul 2009 10:19:37 PDT

contest: [link] Dealine's August 10th!

I'm putting off cleaning my room for this. hahaha

001. Real name â Midnight53 :3
002. Nickname(s)â Kat/Ravioli (don't ask lol )/Kevin (again, don't ask xD )/Kitty(.... a girl calls me that. lol)/and I forgot a lot of the other ones... I wrote them down somewhere lol
003. Zodiac sign â I have NO clue xD ..koi? lol
004. Male or female â Female (ugghhh)
005. Elementary â lol Hope Academy
006. Middle School â xD Hope Academy.
007. High School â Mauldin High (ewwwww)
008. Hair color â brown (lol random highlights. it's really weird. they're natural but you have to look for the... blonde and red. )
009. Long or short â long xD it goes about to.. just below my shoulder blades when in a ponytail...
010. Loud or Quiet â Depends but usually loud xD at home? quiet. I have to be. Dad works at home.
011. Sweats or Jeans â jeans! I can't live without my jeans!
012. Phone or Camera â Phone for sure. Though.... my camera's important, too... I love taking photos....
013. Health freakâ ... not REALLY... I just have a lot of health problems that COULD happen so my mom makes me eat healthy and stuff.
016. Eat or Drink â ... drink sweet tea or eat Burger King's tenders.

I'm weird.
017. Piercings Â> my ears were when I was younger... but I think they grew in. I can still feel the hole, though.
018. Tattoos â none... thoughI draw on myself :3

HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane â definately. lol about 4 times...
020. Been in a relationship â two... and I just recently had the chance for another but I turned the guy down... it scared me.
021. Been in a car accident â um. yes. When I was younger. We were in an OLD van... and yes... we were hit... and got stuck... I don't remember much. I was a baby. xD
022. Been in a fist fight â yes.... >_> lol. and won... but I didn't use my fist as much as attacking with teeth and nails because I was protective over my friend.... o_o;

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing â 5 years old! I remember sitting in that chair and hugging a stuffed animal xD that's it. I think the animal was white....
024. First best friend â Kaitlyn Brittian. Now a completely different person... *sniff*
025. First award â *thinks* I got an honorable mention in Middle School for a logo design I did... but if that doesn't count I got the Martin Luther King Jr. award for art Sophmore... or Junior year...
026. First crushâ Zachary McAllister. lol. He changed, too...
027. First pet --> Winston. My old dog. We had to put him down... but I had KC with him. Which... we were supposed to have her put down when I was REALLY young but then we found her two months later at the vet's. and we were like '....that's our cat.... what the hell." and yeah... lol
028. First big vacation â big? Disney World when I was 5
LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to â ... in person? my Dad.
030. Last person you texted â ... *looks at phone* ... last text was Noelle, actually. Hi! *waves*
031. Last person you watched a movie withâ Um... *thinks* Megan, my mom, and my dad.
033. Last movie you watched â Transformers 2 lol again
034. Last song you listened to â Last song? WEll I haven't listening to it today... but it's probably "Get Down, Make Love" by Queen.... >///> That's a bit embarrassing to put here xD but it's SO good.....
035. Last thing you bought â MAYA! MY ADORABLE OTTER PLUSHIE! 8DDDD
036. Last person you hugged â Megan. Or Heather.... maybe Heather...

FAVES:
037. Food â BK's chicken tenders.

and pasta. and kind of pasta. with spices? um.
038. Drinks â Sweet tea/chocolate milk/sunkist
039. Clothing â my long blueshirt and skinny jeans. :3
040. Flower â blue roses with the little white flowers as accents.

...
041. Books â fantasy usually. I love mystery and action, too...
042. Colors â blue. the kinda... that's like a deep puddle of blood turned blue.

it's SO pretty.... and then green and then cyan.
043. Movies â Transformers 2, Coraline, Donnie Darko, August Rush, Across the Universe, Sweeney Todd, Yes Man, The Lakehouse.... Step Up 2.... I have a lot.
044. Subjec... ]]> *Midnight53 Atlanta http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26060839/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/26060839/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 08:18:14 PDT

contest: [link] Dealine's August 10th!

Atlanta was fun. It was survivable because my friend came with me xD I would have probably gotten myself grounded forever if it wasn't for her being there. I was getting so mad at my parents.... They kept doing weird things like only letting us go to the pool for 10 minutes and not giving us enough time at the malls and not going where we asked to go and things like that. It was really annoying.

But besides that... we got to go to the aquarium and I loved it :3 and the otters were amazing. and I got a stuffed animal of one x3 It's Maya. lol

Um... so I bought her... and nothing else. except two little things for my friend

Which I was planning to buy more. So now I have money....lol but not a lot... never a lot...

and I'm SOOO bored. I always am. in the summer, anyway. I have two story ideas I REALLY want to work on. but one's a manga and the other... well. Isn't. lol it's an idea I'm forming with the help of the lovely

who has helped me a great deal with it.

I have two pages done of Influencials (one project I'm working on) and... yeah. it's weird. lol very odd story and VERY hard to draw. and I think I'll post it but know it's not my best drawings ever xD

um..... that's it... I guess haha ttyl

REMEMBER TO PARTICIPATE IN THE CONTEST! Note me or comment with a link to your entry :3

]]> *Midnight53 Updating http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25958616/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25958616/ Wed, 15 Jul 2009 07:44:45 PDT

contest: [link] Dealine's August 10th!

In other news.... I was kidnapped last night by my friend which really helped me be able to have fun. There's nothing to do at my house without friends around. I can read the same comics over and over.... but I don't want them to get boring. haha

So I HAVE been working on my painting that has to do with my contest and I will put it up AFTER the contest. lol. Don't except anything great. I CANNOT makea paint brush go in a straight line T_____T but yeah. Just make sure you full view in on your computer.... THEN step away about 10 feet. xD

oh. My friend and I decided pants are NOT included in the 'clothes' group. lol. So I have clothes AND pants on. *proud nod* If pants WERE clothes they would tell you to wear them on the signs ^^ "No shirt No shoes No service" they didn't say ANYTHING about pants. ^^ (It's funny! I won't say more, Megan xD )

I'm going to Atlanta soon. Anyone know anything to do there? lol

(so in conclusion: I'm doing better and mentally going insane. )

Talk to eeryone later!

(.... that 'Lazy' emoticon gives me dirty thoughts. my mind.... )

]]> *Midnight53 things are still going http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25899362/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25899362/ Sun, 12 Jul 2009 13:04:29 PDT

like the title says. The contest is still going and I would love for more people to join it! (see the journal for details)

apart from that (and sorry for the cussing) but I feel like shit. I just have one thing over another pilling up and I have NO ONE I can talk to. I don't want to get bitched at by people saying 'there are worse situations' and things like that. I need people to talk to that just... are there right now. and no one is. and I thought I couldn't write a journal because of the contest but that's still running and I need to get it out because what else am I going to do? Explode because I have to hold it in? =____=
Some things might be offensive to some people and I don't mean for it to be so please don't comment on this by telling me off or saying I'm a horrible person.
My friend's dad lost her job and it really freaked me out because I hate money situation when they go bad. I can barely even watch them on tv shows because I get so freaked out that I just have to leave it. and I want to be there for her. I don't mind talking about it and stuff.... I just freak out secretly. I know my dad hasn't lost his job--and that makes me lucky! but he's quitting right when I start college. and he's talking about going to California just to see an old friend of his. and I'm like "...what about using that money for my college fund?" he's already ruled out so many colleges for me. I can't even look at some letters I get in the mail... and there's worse... but it still hurts and I still cry over it.
Things like that have gotten me mad at my dad. I've gotten very seperated from him and we get into arguements a lot and he hurts me a LOT. (Like by laughing when I tell him what I want to do for a living or what I want my legacy to be) and he tries tomake things funny and tease when it's just not the time for it. and so my mom left for a week and i was alone for him. Bonding time? not so much. I feel more seperated than ever. He worked from before I woke up to 5 or later. I couldn't go out because my friends were either working or were with other friends or I had seen them too much already and my parents thought I didn't need to see them more. It was really awful and all I could do is try to do what I do--which is draw and paint and write... and I read a bit. but he kept trying to ask me what I was drawing or painting and I just can't tell him anymore because it breaks my heart every time he laughs at me ): I can't handle that from my own parents. I just can't. So my mom got home and my dad and I got into a mini arguement (you know, the half-hearted kind) and she said 'well that is certainly something I didn't miss" ... and so now I don't feel like I can talk to her, either. and I feel like I should--I have ALL my life. but I'll just be wrong and she'll just say my dad really does care and he does actually love me (we've talked about it before) but it just keeps being unproven over and over for me.
So I painted... and it's coming along and I told some of my friends about it and they really loved the idea so I was really happy about that... but I'm just not.
I wrote that stream of consciousness.... and I have one person on here I admire as a writer. Who I always want input from.... and none this time. and I know thee's time and stuff like that. stuff going on. and so I feel stupid for feeling like thisbut I just do... and I've been trying and trying to ignore it. Put things in my mind like I'm always told to. "busy" "haven't read anything in days" I have to keep that in my head before it starts drifting to "no want"which always leads to "I'm not a writer in which people wait for me to write something else" which is a common thing in my mind.
I went to my grandmother's house. My last grandparent. She's not doing well. at all. and truthfully, I don't know why she's not dead yet with her medical problems. :\ ... and my brother got into a fight with his boyfriend. They didn't break up but it was when his boyfriend got drunk and some things were said that shouldn't have been.
hardly anyone is on here anymore.... and there's other things that happen but... I dunno. I'm sorry if I seem overly down. (and it's actually not the monthly thing.

) so yeah...

tt everyone later

]]> *Midnight53 CONTEST http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25776617/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25776617/ Sun, 09 Aug 2009 12:11:24 PDT

CONTEST!
DEADLINE'S TONIGHT! (So 12.5 hours from now)
Theme: "one with many faces"

the rules:
1. It has to have been entered past today. July 6th.
2. It has to be original. I'd really rather no fanart or anything entered please! (sorreh) but it can be like... your own character from something. Though still I would prefer something completely original.
3. Remember you can take it leterally or figuratively or symbolically or whatever! Be unique with it! That's what will show the winner!
4. mature content is allowed but know I can't veiw anything with a mature content that says only 18 or older.

5. Have fun with it! That's the big part about it!

This is to just give you a bit of inspiration!

prizes: (features of 1st and 2nd place will also be held by

)
1st: feature of the winning piece and request from me (or your choice for the painting to be dedicated to you) and also a feature of another one of your pieces
2nd: feature of the entered piece and a request but it won't be as much time put into it. More like a sketch or quick write and a feature of another piece of yours
3rd: feature of entered piece and a simple request

Judging will be by myself

deadline: AUGUEST 10TH! So get 'em done!

entries so far:

Canopie210

Talking-Pinata

HoneyBunnyy

Westen100

KitKatBooie

Slightly-Odd

Animeluver233

http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25770184/ Mon, 06 Jul 2009 09:09:46 PDT

So while I'm working on the feature thing I got tagged so here it is!

1. Post these rules.
2. Each person tagged must post 10 things about themselves in their journal.
3. At the end, you have to choose 8 people and post their icons in the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying that theyÂve been tagged.
5. No tag-return

1. I have binders each dedicated to one of my novels. haha I'm a dork.
2. I love long relationships but I find it hard to be in one
3. I stil; have pokemon figures from when they were the toys given out at Burger King (I love them. haha)
4. I'm a girl who really hates being a girl and would much rather be a gay man. but at the same time I would hate to be gay because it's troublesome. (I really am amazed by them)
5. I really want to be a director for a movie.
6. I really hate my school but I could never switch be cause of my friends
7. My dad laughs whenever I tell him what I want to do in my life or anything about my life and it secretly breaks my heart.
8. I twitter and I now have to check it and facebook everyday.
9. Deviantart is my homepage. :3 I love it.
10. Um... I'm having a yardsale finally to get rid of stuff and I had to go through stuff and I seriously threw away two palm pilots and a digital camera. O_o

tag.... anyone! lol

]]> *Midnight53 feature http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25649367/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25649367/ Tue, 30 Jun 2009 11:09:56 PDT

So I'm getting ready to do the feature journal again! I have two people who said they wanted one so who else?! It doesn't have to be someone I'm watching!

]]> *Midnight53 HAPPY BIRTHDAY PINATA http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25604980/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25604980/ Sun, 28 Jun 2009 11:24:08 PDT

Yes!

it is

's birthday today! 8DDDDD So go give her love~

Why yes x3 Um. Just an update, really. I wrote something new. Haha. I haven't in forever xD So it's up on my personal website! If you want to read it and don't have the link to the personal website just comment here and I'll note you with the url. :3

but anyway... the short story is like a REALLY rough draft of it. Just to get the idea out. It's called 'Searching' lol so....

heh... we'll see.

I was able to print my poster x3 on glossy paper. and it TURNED OUT RIGHT!

unlike at the workshop where the used... unglossy paper so the colors didn't show up as well. and a lady was freakin' lechuring me about knowing how the print will look and stuff. ugh. I thought a POSTER would be printed on glossy paper so the colors could show as they taught us. but I guess not. and that sucks. but oh well.

commisions still open. I can design logos and stuff for you if ya like. maybe I should do requests of that first to get out there.... we'll see.

]]> *Midnight53 lol http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25551819/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25551819/ Thu, 25 Jun 2009 20:02:07 PDT

I just got fourty billioin journals and stuff in my inbox about Micheal Jackson's death xD new spread fast, eh? I found out during dinner xD I will seriously miss him greatly. :/ it's just funny how many people are talking about it. We had phases and faces but everyone will miss him.

in other news... I got back from the workshop (and put up my digital project! which supposively they didn't love) and I'm really proud of the result. I definately don't want to go to the institute, though. It was... just art... and that's the thing. I want to do MORE. and I want to do traditional stuff, too. With paint. and things like that. and have a freedom. that's why I would want to be a freelance artist! lol Just... do whatever. haha but I want to do writing and english stuff. I want to do psychology and education stuff... so the College of charleston seems better for that. I'm still looking around though. Any suggestions?

also in other news... I SAW TRANSFORMERS 2! It wasn't rated high and a critic said it was the worst movie of the year. XD XD XD OMFG it was SO good! I loved it SO much though if you can't take some sexual humor don't watch it! xD oh god it was so good. My mom and I saw it and we couldn't stop talking about how cool and funny it was! (sexual comment about to come. this is a warning. it's a bit of a spoiler but not really.) The freakin' huge bad ass transformer had BALLS xDDDDD
anyway. good movie. and the actors are amazing. xD

also saw the new Secret Life. So dramatic. That show... gosh. I can't tell anymore if I like it or not.

Oh. and I started writing something! (I took Pinata's inspiration ;___; I wish I could give it back. don't kill me. sorry. ) and I had to stop writing because of dinner. So I hope I'll be able to finish it.

um.... that's all.....

OH! look at my forum! I made one *points to forum* for favorite series! comment and stuff! please! yay! okay bye now!

]]> *Midnight53 In the workshop http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25468404/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25468404/ Mon, 22 Jun 2009 07:42:40 PDT

haha. I'm actually IN the workshop right now. working on the computer. lol I like it. ttyl! (Anyone here at the workshop? lol )

I can't use macs......

]]> *Midnight53 just to get something out http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25420868/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25420868/ Fri, 19 Jun 2009 17:44:33 PDT

I'll put the feature journal back up in a bit but I just have to get something out. and people who don't care about like... personal life and feelings you don't have to read...

I know I'm not perfect. That I'm not the smartest person in the world. That's I'm not in advanced classes like AP or IB or any of that. I know I'm not ahead and taking classes for the next year. But I do NOT think that I deserve to be treated like an idiot. When i state a fact I don't excpect a "well DUH, idiot" back or "that's from this, genius." or something like that. and I've gotten it TOO much lately. I say things just to make sure they're known. Not to be insulted and called things back. and not because I think you're stupid and don't know. I just would rather be treated as an EQUAL for ONCE in my life instead of being treated like I'm so below everyone! This happens with people are are younger and older than me! and I'm REALLY tired of feeling like an idiot when I talk to some of my friends! That's not right, is it? and if I do shouldn't I tell them? I might express it harshly but just to let everyone know I just would really appriciate not being treated and called things to make me feel like an idiot. it hurts no matter how kidding it seems. a smile at the end to let it know it's playful is alright in CETAIN cases. and correcting me is FINE cause I AM wrong sometimes. but not correcting by calling me stupid. Don't do that. It can even be corrected by 'isn't this...?" instead or something like that... no one likes feeling like an idiot. :/

ttyl

]]> *Midnight53 anyone want a feature? http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25391642/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25391642/ Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:20:30 PDT

I'm willing to do another feature of newest stuff for anyone interested! ^^ I'll do 2 per person who comments and it would be nice for a feature back but it's not needed

This is a THANK YOU TO EVERYONE because I just reached 17,000 pageviews and it's all because of you! So this offer is for even people who don't watch me but visit my page! (:

oh! and notice my new stamps? =^^= I love my stamps!

STAMPS:

http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25351073/ Tue, 16 Jun 2009 11:58:11 PDT

This is from forever ago when I couldn't do the thumbnails but here now! (and know these features were devianations from that time so not... recent...

)

Here: (I HATE only doing three!!!!! D: )
Who I got it from: *Krazykat101

1.~selena-19954
coming! (they were links so I have to reget the thumbnails

)
2.~Phoenixknight1221

3.~Eynd

4.~TenshiKoigokoro

5.~Silvertail1

6.~westen100

*Midnight53 NaNoWriMo http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25323549/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25323549/ Mon, 15 Jun 2009 07:30:14 PDT

So a lot of people don't know what NaNoWriMo is from the poll results so I'll explain it here!

It stands for National Novel Writing Month and it's like a contest to see if you can write a novel of 50,000 words in the month of November!

You basically go to [link] and sign up there. You can type your story anywhere but in the end you have to copy and paste it into the site and it will count the words (You can do this as you're writing it to show others your progress)

There are calenders you can find almost anywhere on the internet that show it's best to write 1,666 words a day.

I'm talking about it now because you can make an outline for the story BEFORENovember but you can't WRITE IT until the 1st of November. It IS possible seeing how Idid it during school T____T it definately takes a lot out of you but I finished my first novel that way! Of course it's speed writing so it's more like a rough draft but it's a lot of fun!

(You get an award thing to print out at the end! ^^ I bet for writers you could use it in resumes and stuff. Not too sure, though ;D Shows you're hardworking and notice deadlines, neh?)

that's all for now! ttyl

(oh. and I'll be putting stamps on my journal later XD still collecting and stuff)

]]> *Midnight53 Need ideas http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25309866/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25309866/ Sun, 14 Jun 2009 13:25:09 PDT

I need some contest to enter XD anyone know of any contest? I'd prefer drawing and stuff but literature would be okay, too

I just need ideas!

I did draw more pictures recently and I'll scan once I feel better and motivated

Though one I'm kinda hesitant to put up here. >_> it's odd.... and I would probably need to put mature content on it XD but maybe not.... I dunno... depends what the official background and stuff would be.

So I found and dowloaded more brushes for photoshop. The thing is... if I use them I can't sell the final and I have to do a lot of copyright stuff. =___= Which then makes me feel like I didn't do the picture. So.... I probably won't use them.... I dunno.... I might base my own stuff OFF of the brushes but not actually use them. But we'll see!

]]> *Midnight53 Time to update it seems! http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25287871/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25287871/ Sat, 13 Jun 2009 09:11:00 PDT

So *laughs* interesting time here. I changed my avatar. I though showing my artwork in my avatar would be a good idea XD with a little twist so..... I dunno I think I'll be changing avatars a lot now that I finally figured out what I was doing wrong earlier

the poll. *laughs* 5 people didn't know I wrote short stories? It makes me wonder if they just stopped watching me or what XD or if they don't watch me at all! but there were a lot of odd answers XD yeah, not good enough to get published haha

and someone answered the 'if I say yes...' one

there's not that much fuss, is there?

I think the ONLY way that I would feel safe again is if I knew my friends would back me up if something happened again. :/

In other news, I'm sick. I threw up and I had a fever at one point. and guess what? *laughs* it REALLY seems like my parents don't care. When i told them about the fever they said 'of just take tylenol' and then I threw up they let me rest and stuff and I didn't really eat but I felt really sick and so I would ask them to get me something and they would have that obvious 'I don't want to do this for you' look while they do it. So I asked them about it today and said how it was like me being sick wasn't a big deal. and they were like 'we need more symptoms to know you're sick' and I'm PRETTY SURE a fever and throwing up is a big hint. BUT. Because the fever's GONE it's all good. So I asked why they defiantely looked like they didn't want to get things for me (cause I could barely move) and then they started getting mad at me, telling me that it was my fault because I didn't tell them all the symptoms and that I stayed on the couch all day anyway (which is not true and I NEVER ask for them to get stuff for me because I usually have to get stuff for THEM in their bad health. =__= ) and so now they're saying it's all my fault that they haven't done anything. O_o So now that was like BUILDING on the 'they don't care' factor. I'm GLAD they gave me a washcloth and stuff when I threw up. But that was it besides letting me sleep and stuff. Yes, I'm grateful for that but really. Who thinks throwing up and a fever at one point is NOT symptoms that I could just be sick? Really. ): and so she made such a big deal out of me not telling her that I could barely move and what is she doing now? Nothing. Yardwork. My dad? Working. He has to work. It's fine. but really. *sigh* I know it's probably not a major thing but some pretty bad stuff can happen with just throwing up and a fever. those are signs that SOMETHING is wrong, no? =____= they don't care....

]]> *Midnight53 Birthday fun http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25197655/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25197655/ Mon, 08 Jun 2009 12:46:19 PDT

So i got some cool stuff XD the theme is 'in the works' it seems XD that just means my birthday is drawn out :3
So... from my parents I got this wireless scanner/printer/photo inhancer/memory card-taker thing XD it's REALLY nice and... in the mail XD we don't know when it will arrive. but that was my present XD I get to use it in college and I needed my own scanner BADLY.

I also got itunes moneh (love you, Mirax!) and you know about the subscription (whole journal to that XD ) and moneh and I got the first volume of 'Uzumaki' which is a CRAZY manga where everyone gets infected by SPIRALS and it's wicked. OF and speaking of that. With the book I got a notebook that's Wizard of Oz themed and a fake ID, made by the lovely Megan, that uses the picture when I dressed up as Elphaba and it has the University from Wicked on it and it's logo and "Elphaba Gulch" with "Wicked Witch" at the top XD it's cool. I also got SWEET TEA!

Which will be gone quickly XD

I got tons of cards! They're so cool! I'm gonna keep them all!

I got "Yes Man" the movie from my grandmother x3 and supposively I get to pick out an Adam Lambert shirt to get!

It's all cool XD I have 3 presents 'in the works' still so I'm so curious x3

Love you all!

]]> *Midnight53 OMFG http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25168259/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25168259/ Sat, 06 Jun 2009 20:15:50 PDT

!!!!!!

SHE GAVE ME A SUBSCRIPTION! YOU WILL BE SUPERGLOMPED TOMORROW!
and yes I got it the day before my birthday x3 I'm so excited!

Expect lots of polls and stuff! (and not ones that say 'comment' lol )

I'm happy. x3 I'm kinda excited for tomorrow now XD

]]> *Midnight53 Up http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25148738/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25148738/ Fri, 05 Jun 2009 18:01:20 PDT
I just had like.... a real depressing night, which is strange seeing how I was really happen since school ended. It's like.... all coming down on me at once on me realizing I have NO ideas that I can put on paper. My one story idea I have can't be written down yet because it needs a huge amount of preperation with my friend (who is writing it with me) (the lovely Pinata) and then... drawing.It's like.... my drawings are turning out HORRIBLY and it makes me not want to finish stuff. I just want to sit and eat. Which is not good. and my birthday's coming up. and I REALLY hope this depression thing moves on my then. and I have an idea what it's from but... I think it's just letting me realize stuff. I dunno. I need something relaxing to do. and ideas. ugh.

Um... I got my report card. and I actually got a C in a class. and I was so surprised, actually. My first C. and it's quite embarrassing, really, because all my friends (most, anyway) are like super smart and stuff. and now I'm definately going to be looked down on a bit more. and I hate being looked down on. but I know it will happen. I just have to except it and move on... they won't even take notice that I got an A on Blackmon's final, I bet. but see? that's my depressed thinking again.

I have a strange thing with my phone now, too. If it doesn't go off within like... tenminutes I seriously get like.... really lonely. and it feels odd. and like no one wants to talk to me. and I really like talking to people. then my mind goes to 'why would they not want to talk to me?' and that's definately not a good place for my mind to be.

but I do have to stay quite about this. I have to act happy. See! >>

<< I'm happy!

]]> *Midnight53 fun times! updates http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25104219/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25104219/ Wed, 03 Jun 2009 09:52:18 PDT oh. I DID finish chapter two of DD. then.... I lost my flashdrive. which was the only thing that held that chapter

so...... I'm hoping the flashdrive will.... show up. lol

in other news, I DID finsih the painting. of Adam Lambert. xD not the best painting ever. I feel like redoing his face a thousand times. it's so HARD. but. it's done. and I will get my dad to take a photo of it and I will put it up here. XD I have a few others things I need to put up here as well. Like infamous Benjamin (who not many know XD ) and just some fun stuff.

as for writing, I REALLY want to write something but nothing's coming to mind. I got the creative writing teacher to read 'Drown in Sorrows' and her response was.... weird, to say the least. She... said I put 'you' too many times. (Um.... it's in second person..... it's kinda hard to not use you a lot, right? ) so that was confusing. but I asked her how she liked the idea and she was like "That concept of drowning...." and she didn't finish. O_o so that was weird.

Umm....
OH! Birthday. on Sunday. lol. XD I keep forgetting. It's sad, really. I'll be seventeen. seventeen...... it's so odd. and I don't even know what I want. Money? I guess.... of course I still want a sub here xD but I won't tell my parents that! lol

Um.... lol I found out even more about my family history. Medically, I screwed XD haha or my kids are. Relatives? supposively I have like.... 3 step uncles, 2 half uncles, one half aunt..... and a bunch of step people. oh. and one half uncle has been arrested for everything he could be arrested for except murder. and he tried to stay over once. XD we changed our number and didn't tell him our address, apparently. haha I have a very weird family. and I'm still the youngest except if oh-wonderful half uncle had a child with the girl he kidnapped and ran away with *shrug* xD I was asked recently which family members were still alive. and I heard my mom's answer. I felt kind of sad because she had to say her dad was dead. and they asked what he died of. (note: suicide) so that was.... odd. so apparently I know have depression and bipolar in my family to add on to the list. heh. I'm actually okay with it, too.

uuuummmmm.,......

now I'm curious to see which parts people will ignore and which parts will actually be responded to XD *waves*

]]> *Midnight53 DONE! http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25070308/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/25070308/ Mon, 01 Jun 2009 13:28:50 PDT No more BLACKMON no more spanish! No more Zende! 8D No more Pleccha!

I'll be ON here more now!

]]> *Midnight53 heh http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/24967074/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/24967074/ Tue, 26 May 2009 18:26:12 PDT
]]> *Midnight53 Is anyone there? Is anybody listening? http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/24937784/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/24937784/ Mon, 25 May 2009 07:42:44 PDT Can anybody answer my prayers,
Please say yes,
Does anybody feel the same.
And is there anybody who cares,
Life's unfair, its so unfair."

are lyrics from an amazing song called "Is Anybody Listening?" and it is originally by Danity Kane but it was later sung by Adam Lambert in Ten Commandments, a play in which he played Joshua. It's truelly a beautiful song. you can look up simply the song title on youtube and it comes up with Adam's vesion. (He's a slave, too. lol. you can see him act. )

but seriously, where is everyone? I got one comment on yesterdays journal O_o and that was from the person I was talking to at the time.

]]> *Midnight53 decisions decisions http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/24922538/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/24922538/ Sun, 24 May 2009 10:56:32 PDT
2)lol. My birthday's coming up and I didn't even realize it. Lol. and you know what I want the most? XD a subscription here. I want to do poolllllssss and I want critiques (and the critiques I want on my short stories O_o ) and I want to have cool journals and I wanna know through the polls what stories you like the best, what type of art you like the best form me, what you want me to put up next, what you think of certain things going on in the world and stuff. Lol. My parents don't even know what a subscription here IS.

3)So really. Out of everyone who watches me and... replies... O_o .... who would seriously BUY something from me? By a print, buy my book of short stories, commision me? Anyone?

4) I finished chapter two of Diamante Defense. Who read that? XD I need to fix one part before I put it up here....

5) i went to a weding (I was the assistant videographer) and the reception... was very nice.... until a few got drunk... and a few more.... and the bride.... and there was alcohol all over the floor.... and they all dirty danced... and the bride dirty dances with another guy.... and a guy kissed another guy. 9both straight) ... and my dad got his butt touched by a girl 9who was sober and thought he was someone else o_o) and there was an epid prodigy dancer there. (two years old and she can figure out the rythm of songs and how she should dancer to them. youtube video right there) and..... and... I got hugged by a drunk bride o_______o it smelled SO bad. lol.

and that's all for now XD

]]> *Midnight53 A new thought http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/24863812/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/24863812/ Wed, 20 May 2009 19:59:05 PDT

I was able to calm down. He's my American Idol. and I won't watch the show again. but I do know he'll do SO much better in the real world. Like so many other runner-ups.

The world's still unfair. That was proven. So... still no short stories. but I might put up that painting. the title will be "MY American Idol" i think.

I think I'm okay just knowing how much better Adam will do in the real world. HE can pick his own songs. He can sing and peform as he pleases. and that's HIM!

ADAM LAMBERT TAKES THE WIN FOR ME, AMERICA! HE DESERVED IT! WHETHER HE WAS MAINSTREAM OR NOT!

]]> *Midnight53 Devious Journal Entry http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/24862869/ http://Midnight53.deviantart.com/journal/24862869/ Wed, 20 May 2009 19:08:05 PDT
I seriously think the world is screwed up.

*shrug* not short stories and no painting up here. I can't do it. For someone who deserved it SO much to NOT get it is RIDICULOUS!

I've hated the show but this is.... stupid. absolutely stupid.

GO WATCH HIM ON YOUTUBE IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME ON HOW GOOD HE IS! Seriously.

]]> *Midnight53