http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Mizamour&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Mizamour en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 17 Dec 2009 22:44:39 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/26604003/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/26604003/ Sat, 15 Aug 2009 06:43:48 PDT I can't believe it! Here's the page (it has a gallery with the photos) [link]

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/25570706/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/25570706/ Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:49:18 PDT
I’ve been sick with a virus, so that’s a good reason, I guess, but still – I’ve been out of commission for a week. My awesome sister has been covering my shifts at our shared nannying job, which is great, but I hate being away from work – for one, I love my job (taking care of two amazing and fun kids!), and for two, I want to be doing something. Being sick is being in limbo, stuck between, not able to do either the things I really want to do (like work, photograph, go out, drive, see people) or the things I don’t want to do (like cleaning, doing my really-hard Javascript homework, working on projects I should be doing). I start wanting to do things I usually don’t, like cleaning, just to do something.

On the other hand, when I’m sick I don’t feel guilty about watching movies or old cartoon episodes, so I got to see a lot of Xmen and some Batman, which was fun.
But I hate not doing. Maybe it’s part of the American cultural work-ethic consciousness, like I learned in my Cultural Studies class last semester (amazing class!), but for me, doing feels like being. And so when I’m not doing something at least semi-productive, it’s really hard to believe I’m still here – really here, I mean really me, in a way that matters. Am I having any impact at all on the world? A week out of commission doesn’t seem like much, but it feels like an eternity when I’m in it, and I start wondering why I’m not doing more during the times I can, why I don’t take on more opportunities, write more, enterprise more, create or improve or just sustain something that I can help in some way.

And in a way, it’s a polarization. Because while part of me is wondering why I don’t do more, waiting anxiously for the time when I can start taking action again, wanting to achieve, to be fulfilled, the other part of me is stubbornly resisting doing the things I can do, like starting on my Java homework, or doing Psychology homework early, or doing what I can on the video project even though the editing program hasn’t been shipped yet, or just organizing photos. Because those all feel like busywork, and they’re all also activities that must be done apart from other people. I like alone-time, I recharge on it, just like I do with time with friends. I need a balance. But when there’s things I don’t particularly like doing, that I need to do, and that need to be done alone, I balk and procrastinate – and then go do other things alone, like reading, because that feels more free.

It’s the alienation of relaxation, which is weird. Relaxing, for me, is only relaxing if I’ve achieved something first, felt fulfilled in some way – then I like relaxing, and can relax. But otherwise, it just feels like wasting time, wasting potential – even if it’s just the potential of the next fifteen minutes. So after I finish an assignment, or organize a space, or return from work, or exercise, or write a paper or story, then I can relax. But you can only rest on laurels (however small) so long before they wilt, and mine wilt pretty fast. I need a balance of activity and rest, of contemplation and action, of work and play, of introspection and free-spiritedness, of self-indulging and self-discipline, of thinking and dreaming. Marcus Aurelius would agree, I think - reading his Meditations, I definitely picked up that vibe.

But anyway. I can’t wait to be completely better, and take my life off of the pause button.
And stop complaining about feeling this way, too. Things are going great, but still I’m stressing – about not stressing? Wow.

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/25230624/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/25230624/ Wed, 10 Jun 2009 07:05:41 PDT
*Shipwreck, rescued by strange people, taken to an island*

P: Oh no, no one wants me with them! What shall I do? *goes into passive mode*

Moreau: You must stay in this room, because I’m Bluebeard.

P: Oh okay, cuz that’s not ominous at all! La la la… oh wait, what’s that sound?

Moreau: *tortures puma*

P: OMG you’re hurting the animal that’s terrible!

Moreau: But it’s for SCIENCE.

P: Oh, well then that’s okay.

*Next day*

P: I’m bored and annoyed. *runs into dangerous forest* Eep there’s strange animals here! Who would expect that? *runs away, runs back to lab, accidentally breaks in on Moreau’s experiment*

P: Aaaaaaaaaaa! It’s human! *runs away again, meets the animal creatures*

Animal creatures: Hi. You’re weird and we don’t trust you. Come join in our secret cult chanting anyway.

Cult: Reach towards your allegorical human side/higher natures, don’t give into your allegorical beastly side/fleshly desires, and fear the allegorical House of Pain/Hell above all.

P: Whoa they think Moreau’s God! How terrible!

Montgomery and Moreau: *pursues P ominously* Nothin’s gonna harm you, not while I’m around!

P: Yeah right. Give me your pistols.

Montgomery: *hands them over* Don’t be so dramatic. We’re just forcibly mutating animals until we mold them into unearthly haunted vestiges of their former selves – with human thrown in cuz humans look cool.

P: Well, I guess that’s alright.

*after a few days*

P: *finds a rabbit corpse* Who could have killed that?

Moreau and Montgomery: Time to go condemn the culprit. *heads out into the jungle*

P: *alone in the house* Why is nothing happening? Oh yeah, the story’s seen through my point of view. I better go follow them.

*finds them and Moreau and Montgomery*

Moreau *to Leopard Man*: You’ve broken the law! Doom is upon you!

Other animals to Leopard Man: Ha ha, you’re doomed, we’re not.

Terrified Leopard Man: Rawr!

P: Well, I hate to see this poor creature subject to the law that I’m supporting by my compliance with Moreau – so instead of rebelling or anything, I’ll just kill it.

*kills Leopard Man*

P: Whew, cognitive dissonance is uncomfortable.

Puma: *escapes from lab*

Moreau: I cannot faiiiiillll! *gets killed*

Montgomery: Er, what do I do now? I don’t have an identity anymore. *drinks, gets killed*

P: *alone with the beast-people* Uh oh. In fear for my safety, I’ll take up Moreau’s position of authority, even though I hated it before.

P: Um, bow down before me. I am scary! Rawr!

Animal-creatures: Um, you’re really not.

P: *hides in hut with dog, finally escapes on raft*

*back in England*

P: Hmm, I seem to have Gulliver-itis. Everybody seems bestial to me, and the island was just a microcosm of the depraved nature of the rest of the world! Oh, but that’s crazy. I think I’ll study astronomy, cuz space is pure and has no danger!

H.G. Wells: *writes War of the Worlds*

P: Oh, grr.

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/24732834/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/24732834/ Wed, 13 May 2009 06:28:36 PDT
I saw 6 museums!!!!! They were incredible! I've always loved seeing French art and other classic works from around the world online and in books, but it's nothing like actually seeing them in person! In the Louvre, ou could see the brushstrokes on Van Gogh's cathedrals, the paint specks on Manet's boats - and Delacroix's Liberte Guidant La Peuple? More inspiring and amazing than ever! And the Louvre is so huge! Even spending half the day on two days there, I still didn't see half of what was there - but what I saw was incredible! Absolutely astounding! Napoleon's quarters were so ornate, too... definitely fit for the emperor of the world. But his bed was short! It made up for it in height, though! It almost reached the top of the immense vaulting ceiling! I took so many pictures there... everywhere, really!

The Carnavalet, the French history museum my dad found, had a huge French Revolution section! I literally ran into Desmoulins - a bust of him, that is - right by the Bastille! And Danton! And of course, Marat and Robespierre and his fanatical friend-henchman St-Just (with his actual pistol) and several allegorical paintings depicting the Jacobins a l'enfer, devouring each other... unfortunate, but accurate. But they showed the hopeful side of the Revolution, too, the historical legacy, the passion, the part I love! By the bust of Desmoulins was a huge print, decorated in classical-style images of Virtue, Liberty, Brotherhood, and Equality, of La Declaration des Droits de l'Homme - the Declaration of the Rights of Man! It was incredible! Seeing that eternal document in person was unbelievable!

And the Victor Hugo museum! In his house! I got to see the actual writing desk where he penned his immortal masterpieces! And his collections from his travels, and his artist friends' paintings, and some of his own drawings (he drew too! I didn't know!) - it was phenomenal!
There were also several awesome Les Miserables posters there, including one of a very severe Javert... he made me lol and step back at the same time.

Speaking of Javert... the Seine! The Seine the Seine the Seine... it was BEAUTIFUL! The colors of the water, even at night, were so diverse and always changing - the river looked irridescent under the lights of the passing ships! On two of the days, besides walking miles and miles and figuring out the Paris Metro, we rode the Batobus (clever name - Bateau boat + Autobus bus = Batobus), a glass-windowed water taxi that moved up and down the Seine, depositing visitors at various landmarks, including...

Notre-Dame! It was as gorgeous as I had imagined it! The circle of stained glass at the front was smaller than I had thought, from the artworks from Hunchback of Notre Dame depicting Esmeralda before a huge, luminescent whirl of stained glass, but the building was grander and more expansive than I had guessed from photos of the building - it seems so much smaller in pictures, even the close ones! We got there just as the sky was about to turn towards sunset, so the whole building was bathed in light against that brilliant blue sky, that deep, incandescent blue that makes you think it's going to fall, just before it's caught by nets of pink and orange. It was beautiful!

We walked everywhere throughout the city, especially the first day, after riding the plane the whole night - but it was Paris! You can't be sleepy in Paris, at least not the first day. On the nights after, I was, but that morning was full of that wholly awake but dreamlike quality that makes everything even more fascinating... and the streets of Paris, from the start, were the stuff of dreams! Long, wandering streets turning into tiny boulevards packed with small boutiques full of mannequins all wearing the same color in countless different styles, a line of mopeds two blocks long, loitering on the street while little Eurocars zipped past, streetlights that turn green and cars that don't wait, thundering motorbikes and tiny dogs that walked as if on an invisible leash, three steps ahead of their owners (they didn't even stop to chase pigeons!), and a swirl of smells unfolding from the doors of bakeries, perfumeries, and cafes.

And the cafes were wonderful! We ate in them a few times, three different ones - they had incredible cheese and bread! Many were surprisingly vegetarian-friendly - I'd heard it was hard to eat vegetarian in Paris, but many of the shops had a specific "Sandwich Vegeterienne," made of eggs, lettuce, tomato, peppers, and cheese on that golden... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/22718184/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/22718184/ Wed, 21 Jan 2009 16:53:10 PST I started thinking about what it really means to “conceive” of an idea.

The word “conceive” implies creation, namely the creation of a child, or a new life. When a person conceives an idea, then, is the idea like a child – developing in the mind as in the womb, eventually growing and changing after birth as a child does – becoming more mature, if growth proceeds as it should, eventually growing up and contributing to the lives of other ideas? This brings to mind the whole controversy of when life begins, too. When does the “life” of an idea begin? Is it at conception, the first sparking and formings of an idea within the mind? Is it at birth, when an idea is put to paper or to speech, told to another or inscribed in one’s consciousness? What constitutes the birth of an idea? What determines its life? If the idea grows, matures, reaches out to others, sparks ideas in them, is that fertility, generativity? Is that its purpose, to spark other ideas, or does it have innate value within itself – or both? And does an idea ever really die?

I was also wondering about the responsibility of a person who “has” an idea, what is their duty to that idea? Do they take on the role of a parent, who nurtures and guides the idea-child to grow, to become fully realized, to gain depth, to welcome others while still retaining its own essential and important identity? Is that the calling of one who has an idea? But there are many ideas who are not born to one who is willing to develop and give attention to that idea – where does such an idea go, then? How does it survive? What of an idea born into an unfriendly environment, like Darwinism into the religion-infused 19th century England, or Lutheranism into Catholic Europe? And yet so many of those ideas do survive, do grow stronger, revolutionize worlds. Some have tremendous transformative power, which some turn into help for humankind, and some turn into tools of destruction. Some go both ways. Can one split an idea, creating new entities like a reproducing amoeba? Factionalism would seem to prove this true, as well as sectarianism, forms of government, and almost every difference of opinion and practice in the world.

Ideas, it seems, are more fertile than rabbits. What of people who try to impose population control on ideas? Can there ever be an overpopulation of ideas? I don’t think so, but I’m not sure. Can society be peaceful when ideas multiply constantly and constantly clash and collide?

I’m not sure about any of this. But it’s an interesting phrase, to “conceive of an idea.” It brings interesting questions.

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/22532087/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/22532087/ Sun, 11 Jan 2009 19:01:26 PST
To Kierkegaard, the father of existentialism, faith is a complicated phenomenon.

According to Kierkegaard, faith is not the wide-eyed optimism of an eternal idealist, the roller-coaster thrill-spill ride of one who hopes for the best and is disappointed by anything less. It’s not this, he says (denouncing those who believe faith means never having doubtful thoughts. Faith, however, is also not closed-eyes resignation, (what Kierkegaard calls the “infinite resignation” the measured acquiescence of a man whose eyes gaze forever into the distance, seeking in the realm of the eternal what he cannot find in the present world. It is neither of these things, he believes – instead, it is both, and more.

To illustrate his idea of faith, he uses the allegory of a young boy, the “knight of faith” to be, a boy who adores a far-off princess he can never practically (in this world) possess. Still, he has seen her and loved her, and he cultivates this love to its fullest, drinking in thoughts of her at every moment, but making sure this is more than a mere obsession – he really thinks about if he wants this love to be “the content of his life,” and decides he does, having “imbibed all the love and absorbed himself in it.” This is what seems to be Kierkegaard’s first stage, that of possessing a hope, a wish, in which he can “concentrate the whole of his life’s content and the meaning of reality.”

In what seems to be the second stage, however, the boy realizes the truth that he can never have the princess (while still having decided to love her wholly, putting his soul into the love) and that in this life, the finite life, it is impossible to be with her. In this stage, he does not forget her, moving on (having so fully inhabited his love, he cannot move on) but neither does he languish in despair, denied meaning for the rest of his existence. Instead, his love takes on an eternal character, becoming “the expression of an eternal love,” expanding the concept from just “loving this particular girl on earth” into an eternal love that has validity and existence, even if it is just in his mind, in his soul, in some spiritual realm far from this world. In doing this, the boy recognizes that he cannot possess the girl on earth – but he realizes that his love still can find expression in the spiritual world. His love “now bends inwards, but is neither lost nor forgotten.”

Kierkegaard recognizes that some individuals choose to stop at this second stage, where there is “eace and repose,” this “infinite resignation.” Through infinite resignation, the individual goes beyond the temporal and the physical to recognize and accept the eternal and the spiritual, becoming aware of himself or herself as a spiritual being.

While Kierkegaard acknowledges that this achievement of infinite resignation is admirable and deeply significant, he does not believe that it is the endpoint in the individual’s journey, nor the signifier of faith. Instead, it is the necessary (but not the only) step that one must take to finally acquire faith.

To acquire faith, Kierkegaard poses the necessity of a third stage, the fabled “leap” based on what he calls “the strength of the absurd” – a concept that can best be described in his own words.

From Kierkegaard’s Fear and Trembling:
“The moment the knight resigned he was convinced of the impossibility, humanly speaking; that was a conclusion of the understanding… In an infinite sense, however, it was possible, through renouncing it [as a finite possibility]; but then accepting that [possibility] is at the same time to have given it up, yet for the understanding there is no absurdity in possessing it, for it is only in the finite world that understanding rules and there it was and remains an impossibility.”

Lost yet? I had to read the passage over several times before I finally think I grasped what he’s saying. The process of faith comes in three stages, (I’ll say it as a three-part argument, though the syllogism doesn’t *logically* work):

1. I have a wish, a deep desire.
2. This desire is impossible to achieve in the Finite. (K’s “infinit... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/22454832/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/22454832/ Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:24:07 PST [link] and on his site, [link]

One series of his pieces, called “Goodbye Art,” feature him creating (at fast-forwarded speed) huge works of art using the most unlikely media – from french fries to candles to frozen wine, his work shows the potential for artistic symbol in everything – even chewed Starbucks pastries.
My family was wondering: why does this artist create such amazing works, then destroy them? He calls it “Goodbye Art,” emphasizing their transient nature – but when he can create such incredible pieces with any medium at hand, why does he then demolish them?
I was thinking about this, and figured out a few possibilities – I’m still not sure, as he leaves his work open to interpretation in his YouTube videos, but here’s some of the things I thought about:

First – everything he does expands our concept of art, what it is and what it can be:

- He creates from any medium, from frozen wine to fries to candles to Starbucks pastries to dirt to chalk on asphalt.

- He integrates several forms of media into each work, appealing to more than just the eyes, incorporating video, sound, and music into the presentation of each visual-arts piece.

- He films his entire work, recording the whole process as art rather than just the finished product – we see him at work, the process sped up on film so we can take in the act of creation, seeing the artist’s vision literally come together.

- All of his work is transient in some way, from the frozen wine which he carves into a face and then watches as it melts, to the intricate chalk patterns which are washed away by the next rain.

- Not only does this transient nature show how much of even classical art is temporary (even over centuries – think of the pieces that have been painted over, lost in fires, been forgotten, been destroyed by censors or others), but it also makes us wonder how much of “every-day art” we miss – art that is seen by far too few eyes, but created with just as much vision.

I went on Phil Hansen’s site, and interestingly, he posted a video showing a collage of his Goodbye Art, stating that he is now finished with that part of his career and plans to move on to more permanent works. Although he says he finds himself “with few words to say about” his decision, other than that it helped him “develop… ideas of medium,” I think his revolutionary works say so much already, by raising these kinds of questions in the viewers’ minds, expanding our definitions and concepts of art – and pretty much making our jaws drop off the floor

Here’s some of his awesome videos:

- Here, Phil takes on the Facebook “war on nipples” (controversy over women posting their breastfeeding photos by creating a nipple piece of his own – a giant face, made entirely from photos of mens’ nipples. [link]

- Here, Phil makes a bust of Jimi Hendrix entirely out of matches – and then sets it on fire. [link]

- Here, Phil creates a face entirely out of candles: [link]

- Here, he makes a high speed painting of Bruce Lee
[link]

- Here, he makes a portrait of McGuire out of baseballs and paint – and then sets it on fire!

- Here, he creates a portrait out of frozen wine. [link]

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/22186498/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/22186498/ Thu, 25 Dec 2008 09:36:36 PST Whichever holiday you're celebrating, I hope you're having an amazing time with family & friends and enjoying warm houses (yay, heaters!) and a beautiful view out the windows (Yay, photos!).

Well, the contest results came in for ATK! I really appreciated that the judges put so much thought and time into their comments, and considered a lot of aspects of the entrants' stories! This final round, between (character Subaru) and (character Idesta), turned out to be a great one for both - we both got to develop our characters so much during the course of the contest, and it's been an awesome run!

Congratulations to for her Subaru's win on this final round! Her entry was a dramatic and action-filled piece that developed the contest's tea-kettle character Tsushi wonderfully, incorporated a stunning scene where Idesta's plant powers got put to use uniquely, and ended the fight with a strong finish. Her entries were well-drawn and written both, and I admire her skill for writing action! Congrats to Feral for this win - yay Subaru!

Although I was disappointed that Idesta didn't win, I understand the reasons the judges gave for my entry being given less preference. I'm glad they wrote them out, too - they helped me understand the reasons behind the judges' decision, and confirmed some of the things I've known I need to work on in my writing.

One said that my entry lacked its usual clarity and structure, which others have cited before as a flaw in some of my writing. Structure's always been a point I need to work on, and I've tried to amend this during the contest. My original work featuring Idesta was a bit of a stream-of-consciousness piece heavy on the imagery, atmosphere, and inner life of the character, while light on the clarity of the story and the format of the narrative.

Even in this contest, I've still been experimenting with form - my entries have moved from the first-person intro and first rounds with clear physical victories, to limited third-person in the next few with forays into Idesta's consciousness and ambiguous interpretive endings, to the last round with the form shifting from third-person description to stream-of-consciousness almost-verse, ending in a firm alliance that deviated from set tournament structure. Unfortunately, a judge disliked this style of ending, preferring a more concrete Win for the ending. I can see that, as this was a tournament-style contest.

Another judge disliked my Tsushi, whom I agree was underdeveloped in my piece. As the central figure of the contest, her complexity deserved to be given a greater place than the largely symbolic-abstract one I designated to her in my entry. In portraying her as Idesta saw her, through a lens colored with her own perceptions and connections to philosophical issues (responsibility, the value of life, utility v. exploitation, ends v. means), I neglected to portray much of her depth. In this light, I should have balanced the Idesta-centric pov with a portrayal of Tsushi that went deeper than the symbolic, recognizing her as a character with her own thoughts and complexity, for the audience, at least, if not for Idesta.

Another judge's problem with my entry can be summed up in the title of a musical's song: "Too much exposition." In this regard, I tend towards Umberto Eco's propensity to describe a door for six pages - and then describe the experience of opening it for seven more. Although I admire Hemingway greatly, I have yet to grasp his talent for packing meaning into just a few sentences - describing the action while hitting the reader with the force of the meaning behind it. When reading, myself, I tend to find depth in the details, and I think this translates to my writing, which can be both a strength and a failing. However pretty the exposition, there is such a thing as too much. In my writing, I need to apply that.

On the other hand, I got some really positive comments on my writing, which I appreci... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/22074689/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/22074689/ Fri, 19 Dec 2008 20:16:08 PST
And another yay - I just finished the final round of the Amaranthine Tea Kettle contest, the amazingly fun original-character tournament into which I entered my character Idesta. I joined in the summer for a chance to develop Idesta, whose story I'd started but not gotten far on, but it ended up being so much more - through the contest, I've been able to see some truly stunning works of many dA writers and artist, as well as toss Idesta together with some unusual situations and unique characters and see what she'd do! The answers sometimes surprised me - but now I know more about Idesta than I thought I did. And that contest - so much fun!!!! And so creative. All the combatants rock!

I also just got a car, again, after the accident! Yay for insurance - they really came through, which was wonderful, and I just got the car today, the same type as I had before, though it'll take me a while before I'm comfortable with driving again. I'm still jumpy riding in cars, and I think all trucks are going to look ten times bigger and faster to me for a while still... but I have a month to get re-adjusted to being behind the wheel. I can do that. *hopes*

And YAY my boyfriend is awesome! He just got me the Metallica CD "Master of Puppets" for Christmas... despite being an avid Metallica fan for a while, I had actually never bought that album (just heard a couple of the songs - I'd pretty much stuck to the Black album before). It's great, so far! Wow, the guitar on those tracks... unbelievable.

Next week one of my college friends and I are going to start work on a new story, a collab between us called Excellens Fortuna, a sort of coming-of-age discovery-adventure narrative set in a utopia-turned dystopia where things... definitely aren't what they seem. Wow, that's a lot of hyphens. It should be a lot of fun - we both created the characters, he's writing the plot, and I'm writing the style/description. So that should be a fun project!

Speaking of projects, I'm working on a huge collage of Obama material - covers from magazines, parts of posters, photos, articles, etc - that we're putting together in celebration of the historic election. My mom had the idea and got the materials, and I thought it was an awesome idea! We both volunteered for the campaign, and admire Obama immensely, so we were so excited when he won, and wanted to make something to commemorate the election. I'll probably post it here when I'm done with it - it's turning out well!

And wow, I saw IKEA for the first time today. We went shopping for some drawer organizers, and wow... my mom described it as a "zoo for furniture," and that's pretty accurate - but also, a museum for modern interior decoration. It was incredible! The creativity of the designers and the arrangers is amazing. The only part of the experience I didn't like was that I was walking around the huge expanse of the store wearing heels... which I'm not used to. At all. After a while, I thought my feet were going to liquefy and be forge into a Barbie-foot mold. No wonder all Barbies have that pained expression. But aside from that, the store was awesome! It must be fun to arrange everything there, and create the designs. I love the names, too. They all sound like aliens. If IKEA was a musical, it would have to draw from both Beauty and the Beast (yay for singing furniture) and Star Trek. It's got the chairs down already.

And I started exercising! Seriously, now, not just walk-around-campus or wander-into-the-campus-gym exercising. I hope I stick with it - I want to! My arms are noodles at the moment - I need muscle http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/22028051/ Wed, 17 Dec 2008 07:30:48 PST 's character, Subaru - she's amazing! They're having an interesting battle...

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/21892410/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/21892410/ Tue, 09 Dec 2008 03:04:54 PST 's warrior Subaru as my opponent. She's awesome - this is going to be a fun round!

Speaking of which, I woke up in the middle of the night with a load of Idesta-ideas, so I wrote a lot, then got sleepy again, but I realized I hadn't updated my journal, so I'm doing that now Oh well, more time to study!

Oh, finals... just one last week before break, so close but I still have three more hurdles to get over - two finals Thursday, one Friday. I put together a study group for one of them, and will be working on the others the rest of this week... almost there! Hope everyone else's are going great!

After ATK, I have a new writing project going on, too - I'm starting work with a friend on a new original story. He's creating the plot, and I'm doing the writing - plot's my weak area, and he hasn't done much writing before, so it's a great match! I'm looking forward to working on it.

And there's a juried photography contest at my school! I just found out! Any ideas on what I should submit?

Wow, I'm sleepy - I'm going to go back to bed before I have to get up for work Good luck this week everyone!

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/21460402/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/21460402/ Wed, 12 Nov 2008 19:30:14 PST
Thanks for all the well-wishes re. the car accident! I'm happy to say my shoulder is almost completely better - by the end of Thanksgiving break (appropriate! ) it should be completely healed! Yay!

Round 4 of ATK is up! My opponent's character is awesome! If you haven't been following along so far, and want to, just look in my gallery - I set up a sorted collection of all my entries so far, so if you want to catch up, they're in there.

I've discovered two new bands I love, and vastly different ones, but both awesome - the indie Celtic folk artist Heather Dale, who does a diverse variety of songs, most based on Arthurian legends, and the Finnish power metal band Sonata Arctica. Look up "Hero" and "Mordred's Lullaby" by Heather Dale, and "The Misery" by Sonata Arctica. Both beautiful songs!

Schoolwork has been heavy lately as usual (18 credit hours has a way of doing that) but the classes are awesome, and I registered for next spring's courses! I got into everything I wanted, and am thinking of auditing a French course. I don't really have room in my credit schedule, but I want to learn the language, and auditing it wouldn't require me to take a course overload. So I think I might do that.

OBAMA WON!!!!!!!!!!! I'm beyond enthused! I think he's going to be the most amazing president!

I just reorganized my collections in my gallery - I love the collections system, it's so convenient! I need to make a "Wedding" section now so I have a portfolio to show people when they ask... I'm getting more requests now, yay!

I just fell in love with the Evita soundtrack after watching part of the movie (for the first time) in leadership history class. We're studying Peron at the moment, so that was interesting... all while I was doing my homework, I had "Rainbow High" stuck in my head

I'm reading the Merchant of Venice again! I hadn't read it since I was 10 - I think it was the second Shakespeare play I ever read. I'm loving it even more now... and hmm, Antonio/Bassanio much?

My love and I recently had the awesome opportunity of attending NekoCon, with a huge group of friends (16 people stayed at our house!), which was so much fun! I dressed up as Princess Tutu, from the Swan Lake-based anime, and my best friend dressed as Rue, from the same anime. We all got our portraits drawn in anime form, too! So much fun!

Also, since Princess Tutu's hair is bright orange, I decided to dye mine for the convention! It's bright as a Home Depot sign now, and I've had at least three people ask me if I'm trying to match the leaves. It's a wild color, but lots of fun - and I'm enjoying the mixed reactions! They range from to

Thanksgiving break is soon! I'm excited. Can't wait to see my family again! And the pets. They're so cute!

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/21245775/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/21245775/ Fri, 31 Oct 2008 09:21:35 PDT ) but on Monday I got into a car accident, I was turning left and got T-boned by an 8-wheeler truck. Everyone's okay, my car got totaled and skidded 60 feet but I didn't hit anyone then, and the truck driver is fine, so it turned out really lucky, considering! I have a broken collarbone and some minor cuts/bruises but other than that I'm fine! Just wanted to update, I can't type much cuz my shoulder's still hurting, but just to let you know I'm still here and ok and hopefully will have more art up soon!

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/20571009/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/20571009/ Sun, 21 Sep 2008 15:27:03 PDT Idesta is still rather sore at me for pulling her out of Crayon World before she figured out how to save Andrew... but with a fun opponent like and his entertaining LeJuix & Warmy, she can't stay mad for long. At least, I hope not. So I gave her a kitty. You'll see!

Anyway, this is turning out to be a fun entry! I just wish I hadn't left it for so late - but homework's call was louder, unfortunately, so that had to go first. Though it's Friday now, and I just turned in a paper that had been hanging over my head like the sword of Damocles for a week... so I feel better!

My sister is coming to visit this weekend! YAY!!!! And my boyfriend too! This makes me squee. :woot: And I have a bunch of photography jobs lined up for next 2 months, so yay for that too! I haven't gone out and just shot pictures for fun in a while, though - though shooting assignments is awesomely fun as well! I need to go on a random recreational photoshoot this weekend. Maybe with my sister! She's getting to be quite the artist - she took a cellphone picture the other day that was just AWESOME - it had at least three perspectives reflected in mirror-angles. So fun.

18 credit hours makes for a lot busier time than I remembered! I took 18 in the second semester of my freshman year, but I didn't seem to have as much work as this. Well, it's junior year, and everyone says that's the hardest. It's one of the most interesting so far, though! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE my Shakespeare class. LOVE IT. We're unfortunately only able to get through 6 plays, and most of those just the main ones, but I love reading them again anyway - and acting them out and talking about Shakespeare with other Shakespeare-otaku people for an hour a day is awesome! So even though we aren't doing Coriolanus or Richard III - Hamlet and Lear have enough depth in them to last a whole semester and more by themselves! I do wish it was a series of courses, though... I'm not going to want this course to be over!

I discovered I love grapefruit! I liked it before, but I've been taking one home from the Commons each day when I have lunch at school, and I'll just have it for breakfast the next morning - and it's awesome. Yum.

Just finished Feast of the Goat by Vargas Llosa... another heavy dictator book, but very good. A strangely structured ending, though... anyone read it?

Well, got to get back to ATK! Have an awesome weekend, everyone!

UPDATE: Just yoinked this from , an awesome Batman-artist and a great friend! Comment for a feature!


First 10 to comment will get featured in this journal. I will choose 3 of your arts and show them off here.
The catch, you have to do this TAG too, so DON'T COMMENT if you don't wanna do this too!

1. Taintedbliss
[link]
Hehe – so cute! I love this one. Yay for lolcats!
[link]
Rock on, warriors for peace!
[link]
This one reminds me of a ballad, like something sung by Loreena McKennitt or Heather Dale…

2. Poohbearlover42
[link]
This one is only the first of a four-parter, but I had to put it in because she wrote it so awesomely! I love it! This is one of her entries for the ATK contest, the writing tournament we’re both in, with her characters Andrew and Votch and my character Idesta.
[link]
I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS! Seriously, check them out. They rock.
[link]
These are some of my favorite musicals too… ☺

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/20536589/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/20536589/ Wed, 17 Sep 2008 12:22:21 PDT and 2 more), getting to spend more time with my wonderful boyfriend . But all this business has a downside...

I haven't had much time for ATK, and the deadline's in a week! I'll have it done in time (I hope) but I need to get on it... I know the plot, I know what I want to do with it, what interactions the characters will have, what I'll bring in and leave out... but I still need to actually write it. Hopefully it will be up soon! This is probably going to be a five-parter too, like last time.
On the last journal - I realized all the links don't work, as I don't have a subscription... silly me I'll go through and redo them with links when I get time. Til then, feel free to look in my gallery for my previous entries with the adventures of the plant-wielding, Snow-White-queen-retelling Idesta!

In the next round, she's fighting LeJuix, another of the amazing contestants in this tournament - one with an awesome sense of humor and very unique ears. And she'll have a new companion, this round... or a few...

So keep watching! You all are awesome! Lol I need more hours in the day...XD

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/20041267/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/20041267/ Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:36:30 PDT is an awesome contest run by (who is an amazing literature-manga-artist: and her roomie which is SO much fun! In it, contestants enter their original characters, who are matched up with other entrants' characters in sets of 2, and each person in the duo has to write or draw a piece depicting their character winning victory over (or allying with) their opponent's. Battles can take place on a huge number of creatively-planned worlds (including Crayon World (which is just what it sounds), an asylum, and a Mummy-style tomb! And the final goal is... a magical tea kettle. So of course I had to enter!

All the characters so far have rocked, and I love reading everyone's entries!

I just submitted my entries for round 2, in which my character, Idesta:

--> Concept art drawn by the wonderful : :thumb87914850:

--> And my intermidably long character sheet: :thumb87529205:

battled 's character, Andrew (and his shadow, Votch) :thumb88413444: .

They are AWESOME! I loved fighting these guys - well, fighting Votch, because Idesta took a liking to Andrew, once she found out they had the same issue...

Here are my entries for Round Two, where Idesta, my plant-wielding take on the Snow White fairy tale's queen, has to fight... a shadow. How? Read it to find out! ^^ Okay, shameless plug... but it's fun Here they are!

R2 Part One --> :thumb94772128:
R2 Part Two --> :thumb94772815:
R2 Part Three -->:thumb95209271:
R2 Part Four --> :thumb95239480:

And just in case you missed it, here's my Round 1 entry, where I fought an awesome winged demon named Lokin: :thumb91580588:

And if you want to know how Idesta got involved with this whole hunt for a purple teapot in the first place, check out :thumb88351973:

's entries are absolutely AMAZING too! Her dialogue, characterization, plot... it rocks. One non-spoiler hint: Her entry takes place in a LABYRINTH. (Interested yet?) Check them out at her page!

, my opponent before this, did a cool silver-toned comic featuring her character, Lokin! See it for a look at a great art style!

I really can't decide who I hope wins in this round - me, or my opponent! Of course I want to win, this contest rocks, but since I have school coming up, I wouldn't mind just becoming a spectator... and I REALLY want to see more of Andrew and Votch! The really awesome thing would be if we tied... but I don't think we can Oh well - it's up to the judges! I can't wait for Friday... *bites nails*

But anyway, I just thought I'd put this stuff up on a journal entry to keep it all organized, and a... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/19674967/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/19674967/ Wed, 30 Jul 2008 06:27:03 PDT I loved the beauty of the words... each haiku expressed a single moment, so small that many wouldn't notice it, the kind we experience and pass by every day, but what I love about art - like your poem, like my friends' paintings, and like what I hope to do in my photographs - is that it calls up these small moments to the conscious mind, lifts them to our awareness and as they rise to realization, we notice how beautiful and truly interesting they are. The world, all of life, is filled with these amazing moments - what I love about art, is it helps us realize that, and see it - and that makes life beautiful.

I want to thank all the artists for making the world more visible and more beautiful... you reveal what we love about life, and what makes us human.

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/19574577/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/19574577/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:28:37 PDT )
These are some of the character's I've been working on lately - I thought I'd do this to develop them a little more - never too much character development! Here's the five. Feel free to comment!

Rules
1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most.
2. Make them answer the following questions.


Characters Chosen:

1. Idesta (A Thorn Defends, my Snow White reimagining) She’s a young ruler-witch with a special connection to plants – she can see from their perspective, and make them grow. Hardened by her struggles with the power-hungry lords of the land after her father’s death, she doesn’t trust easily, becoming jealous and obsessive of what she loves. She protects her sister, Rhosyneva, above all, though she is also fiercely jealous of her.

2. Rhosyneva (A Thorn Defends) She’s Idesta’s sweet princess-sister, who loves flowers but hates gardening, and falls tumbling into puppy-love with Idesta’s new advisor, Gerel. She’s childlike, kind, and innocent, entirely unaware of the complex power-structures that make their kingdom stand.

3. Sierre (Light Borne, my fantasy-adventure work) She’s a spirited princess with a unique ability – she’s the only one who can find the Trulighte crystals that power their desert-blown nomadic town. When she returns from a search to find her village gone, she sets off on a quest to rescue her people. She’s very optimistic and determined.

4. Tanne (Light Borne) He’s Sierre’s companion on the quest, a woodcrafter’s apprentice, who’s driven, competitive, and wracked with guilt over his secret role in the tragedy that took their land.

5. Jezabel (Bloodstains/Water Clears Us, my Lady Macbeth-spin) An ambitious free spirit with a prostitute/revolutionary parent who’s been imprisoned for conspiring against the government, she charges through life as a feisty fighter kid before she learns to manipulate in subtler ways.

1) How old are you?

Idesta: It’s not your concern. *glares*
Rhosyneva: *blushes* I’m sixteen… and, she’s twenty-one. But she’s not too young – she’s helped the kingdom since she was 14! *smiles up at Idesta*
Sierre: I’ve passed eighteen years.
Tanne: I’m sixteen.
Jezabel: Why should I tell you? I’m old enough - that’s all you’ve got to know.


2) Height?

Idesta: *narrows her eyes suspiciously* Why are you asking me?
Rhosyneva: I’m 5’1, and she’s 5’9. I don’t know where she got so tall… *blinks* My parents weren’t that tall.
Sierre: *hefts bag of jewels* It depends on whether I’m carrying this. Without it, I must be 5’6. With it… 5’3. I have to bend over a little to hold them all.
Tanne: I’m not sure… I’m not as tall as some of the other apprentices. But I can craft better than Ben! *shows off carving*
Jezabel: 5’1. But I can beat you up however tall you are!

3) You got any bad habits?

Idesta: *listens to the Duke/mirror laughing derisively* I know. I will not be reminded.
Rhosyneva: She’s wonderful… but she’s too overprotective. And she gets jealous. And works too much. And she doesn’t like to have fun. But she likes flowers! *beams*
Sierre: *looks up from her excavation of the sand* Oh! Er… I become too absorbed in the search. I do not always return in time… I should have known better last search. *her face darkens* I sensed something coming…
Tanne: She can’t blame herself! She’s our princess, she has saved our city countless times… she’s the only reason we’ve gotten this far. She doesn’t know what I’ve done… bad habits, that’s not even the start… *notices Sierre looking in his direction* Er… I can’t. I can’t say. I’m sorry, Sierre. *looks back at interviewer* But she has no bad habits. Except… trusting too much. *looks down*
Jezabel: That guy does nothing but feel guilty. Whose purpose does that serve? Not his – not his friend’s! I don’t know what happened, but I can guess – some plan from the people in power, it has to be. Making the regular citizens flail and fall for the rulers’ corruption. I won’t fall for that. My habits help me survive. I fight a lot – and I lie when I need to.

4) You a virgin?

Idesta: I am. And ‘Neva, I can answer for myself. I’ve told you, never trust strangers.
Rhosyneva: It’s alright, ‘Desta! They’re nice. And of course I am! I’m a princess, after al... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/19574460/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/19574460/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:21:52 PDT )
These are some of the character's I've been working on lately - I thought I'd do this to develop them a little more - never too much character development! Here's the five. Feel free to comment!

Rules
1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most.
2. Make them answer the following questions.


Characters Chosen:

1. Idesta (A Thorn Defends, my Snow White reimagining) She’s a young ruler-witch with a special connection to plants – she can see from their perspective, and make them grow. Hardened by her struggles with the power-hungry lords of the land after her father’s death, she doesn’t trust easily, becoming jealous and obsessive of what she loves. She protects her sister, Rhosyneva, above all, though she is also fiercely jealous of her.

2. Rhosyneva (A Thorn Defends) She’s Idesta’s sweet princess-sister, who loves flowers but hates gardening, and falls tumbling into puppy-love with Idesta’s new advisor, Gerel. She’s childlike, kind, and innocent, entirely unaware of the complex power-structures that make their kingdom stand.

3. Sierre (Light Borne, my fantasy-adventure work) She’s a spirited princess with a unique ability – she’s the only one who can find the Trulighte crystals that power their desert-blown nomadic town. When she returns from a search to find her village gone, she sets off on a quest to rescue her people. She’s very optimistic and determined.

4. Tanne (Light Borne) He’s Sierre’s companion on the quest, a woodcrafter’s apprentice, who’s driven, competitive, and wracked with guilt over his secret role in the tragedy that took their land.

5. Jezabel (Bloodstains/Water Clears Us, my Lady Macbeth-spin) An ambitious free spirit with a prostitute/revolutionary parent who’s been imprisoned for conspiring against the government, she charges through life as a feisty fighter kid before she learns to manipulate in subtler ways.

1) How old are you?

Idesta: It’s not your concern. *glares*
Rhosyneva: *blushes* I’m sixteen… and, she’s twenty-one. But she’s not too young – she’s helped the kingdom since she was 14! *smiles up at Idesta*
Sierre: I’ve passed eighteen years.
Tanne: I’m sixteen.
Jezabel: Why should I tell you? I’m old enough - that’s all you’ve got to know.


2) Height?

Idesta: *narrows her eyes suspiciously* Why are you asking me?
Rhosyneva: I’m 5’1, and she’s 5’9. I don’t know where she got so tall… *blinks* My parents weren’t that tall.
Sierre: *hefts bag of jewels* It depends on whether I’m carrying this. Without it, I must be 5’6. With it… 5’3. I have to bend over a little to hold them all.
Tanne: I’m not sure… I’m not as tall as some of the other apprentices. But I can craft better than Ben! *shows off carving*
Jezabel: 5’1. But I can beat you up however tall you are!

3) You got any bad habits?

Idesta: *listens to the Duke/mirror laughing derisively* I know. I will not be reminded.
Rhosyneva: She’s wonderful… but she’s too overprotective. And she gets jealous. And works too much. And she doesn’t like to have fun. But she likes flowers! *beams*
Sierre: *looks up from her excavation of the sand* Oh! Er… I become too absorbed in the search. I do not always return in time… I should have known better last search. *her face darkens* I sensed something coming…
Tanne: She can’t blame herself! She’s our princess, she has saved our city countless times… she’s the only reason we’ve gotten this far. She doesn’t know what I’ve done… bad habits, that’s not even the start… *notices Sierre looking in his direction* Er… I can’t. I can’t say. I’m sorry, Sierre. *looks back at interviewer* But she has no bad habits. Except… trusting too much. *looks down*
Jezabel: That guy does nothing but feel guilty. Whose purpose does that serve? Not his – not his friend’s! I don’t know what happened, but I can guess – some plan from the people in power, it has to be. Making the regular citizens flail and fall for the rulers’ corruption. I won’t fall for that. My habits help me survive. I fight a lot – and I lie when I need to.

4) You a virgin?

Idesta: I am. And ‘Neva, I can answer for myself. I’ve told you, never trust strangers.
Rhosyneva: It’s alright, ‘Desta! They’re nice. And of course I am! I’m a princess, after al... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/18917475/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/18917475/ Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:22:02 PDT

RULES
#1) You must fill out EVERY question! No skipping!
#2) Tag five people

I Tag :

ARE YOU?

1. Perfect?
Hardly

2. Tall?
Not really

3. In your pajamas?
Nope - still wearing my ET shirt and Obama button

4. Left handed?
I wish I was ambidextrous!

LAST:

1. Friend you saw:
Pierce

2. Talked on the phone:
my bro

3. Person to text you:
my sis

4. Was today better than yesterday?
Hard to say - both rocked I registered a bunch of voters at an ice cream shop yesterday and met a ton of awesome people, and today I saw my love again and got to play with my dog - so not sure! Both were awesome

FAVORITES:

1. number:
22

2. Color(s):
Green, brown, gold

3. Fruit:
Lots! Though I'm craving watermelon right now - yum, summer...

4. Place:
Outside on a warm day under a tree with music, a book, and a good friend

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:

Q: What was the first thing you did this morning when you got up?
A: Packed (headed home from the training workshop)

Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
A: Hoping to get 16 more voters registered before Sunday, and hoping my nannying job goes well and the kids have fun

Q: What was the last movie you saw?
A: The Golden Compass, yesterday. Woot for Lyra and ferret souls!

Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: Pierce's house

Q: Do you smile a lot?
A: Yes

Q: Do you wish upon the stars?
A: Sometimes

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Usually! Depends on the situation, though. I'm never unfriendly (I hope) but I'm shy at times.

Q: Where did you sleep last night?
A: My bed at my house near college.

Q: When was the last time you cried?
A: Not sure

Q: What was the last thing you thought before you went to sleep last night?
A: The ice-cream proprietor is a phenomenal person!

Q: Rate life as of right now one being bad, ten being great?:
A: 10!

Q: What do you want to hear right now?:
A: That a bunch more people want to register to vote

Q: Does anything hurt right now?
A: Small headache, tiny bit of sunburn from being out in the sun all yesterday

Q: What's your favorite month?
A: I love June!

Q: What did you do last night?
A: Went to the mall and watched Golden Compass with my best friends

SEVEN EMOTIONS:

1. Are you missing someone right now?:
My roomies!

2. Are you happy?
Yes!

3. Are you sad?
Not right now!

4. Are you bored?
No time to be bored http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/18498369/ Sun, 25 May 2008 17:05:49 PDT And wow... after editing, I have about 800 pictures to give the bride and groom. I wanted to record every moment It was a beautiful ceremony, and so much fun - from the ride up with the metal-blasting groom & friends to the floating cow by the highway to the hotel right by the beach (where we all got soaked when a wave came up while I was trying to adjust positions) to the gorgeous ceremony itself to the dance afterwards, which included a 50th-anniversary couple, an assortment of every kind of music from country to hardcore, a Mountain-Dew-addicted best man, a budding-photographer flower girl, and a tiny ringbearer who seemed absolutely in love with another of the little flower girls. It was awesome! The lighting wasn't the greatest (the rehearsal dinner and dance hall were both very dark, and the ceremony was in brightest sunlight, which cast strong shadows) but that became a fun challenge, and the people were all happy and having the times of their lives! And I got to record it all! It was incredible - one of my best photography experiences yet. I can't post the photos yet (of course not all 800, only a few) until I get them to the happy couple and ask their permission, though. But if it's okay with them, I can't wait to show them to you! It was so much fun. I hope to do another one soon! In the meantime, I have a portrait shoot coming up in a few days - woot!

In other news, I just got accepted to be an Obama Organizing Fellow! I'm so excited! I'll get to campaign around my area, help put together events, and act as a sort of liason between the community and the Obama campaign. I can't wait to start!

Hope all of you are having an amazing summer!

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/17754766/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/17754766/ Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:06:48 PDT I'm feeling better now - midterms are done, the play's over, and I actually have some free time! Yay! I'm having so much fun taking pictures lately - I've done a couple more photo shoots for friends, and the recent light rain on campus makes for awesome nature shots! I'll post a few here. I can't wait for sun though! It's time for spring

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/16980929/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/16980929/ Wed, 20 Feb 2008 16:45:34 PST
I go to sleep, tired from all the things I’ve done and haven’t during the day, from three meetings, four classes, five responsibilities filled , six assignments of homework– and seven more of each waiting for the next day. And I dream, no matter what I’ve done during the day, that I’ve failed in all of them. It never comes as a surprise to me – that’s what’s strange. During the day, I strive to be better, to shape the world better, to appreciate and contribute to the betterness of our world. I like to believe I have an internal locus of control – I’m optimistic, I believe I can change my destiny, things aren’t determined by fate. I have the power to shape my future. But then, at night, I go to sleep, and I’m completely unsurprised that I have failed.

It’s never something small I fail at, either – at least not in my eyes. In last night's dream, it was the welfare of a child – I was in charge of her, I was helping her mother pick out books from a bookstore that I thought she’d like – and I dreamed somehow I neglected something and let some weird parasite get hold of her, infect her. In the dream, I had taken it for a cute pet, and let her play with it. I remember feeling devastated, I remember trying everything I could to help, get it out, help the parents and her – but at the same time, I wasn’t angry, that despite all I did, something that bad had happened– I accepted that that kind of thing would happen, that I would never have been good enough to keep disaster away. I was almost relieved when it did happen – because then I didn’t have to wait for it anymore.

These dreams surprise me, unsettle me, when I’m out of them. Like the dream the other night, where I dreamed I discovered that I had failed all of my classes. I was talking to my professors, and they were explaining to me why – “you just didn’t try enough, take it seriously enough. Your work wasn’t quality.” I can suspect why I had that one – I played a video game last night, one that I’ve thought people shouldn't spend all their time playing. Instead of writing a paper due next Monday (last night was Tuesday), I spent time goofing off playing it. I felt guilty, afterwards – and that probably seeped into my dreams. But still – I know I do quality work. I try to, I refine, I edit, think through. I always know I haven’t done all I could – but I do what I can at the time, while still leaving time for balance, for the rest of my classes and life. But here, that doomed me – and I accepted it, because I believed them, because they were confirming for me what I tell myself. And there was a sense of relief in it – that it was over, that I didn’t have to strive anymore. A kind of death, without dying. But I want to live - what's up with these then?

These dreams haunt me in my waking life. In the shower after I wake up, in class, at work afterwards when my mind drifts off. They make me tired, weigh down my shoulders like pregnant clouds. Yet I welcome sleep, dive into it when I have a free hour and I can gamble my guilt at being unproductive over the bliss of snuggling warm under covers. Why? It seems as my dreams get worse, I want to sleep even more. And I’m tired when I wake up – is sleep like a drug? It wasn’t, for me, before.

If I dreamed of success, I decide, I’d be much more energized. After all, that’s proved true before – when I have a good dream, it infuses the rest of my day in an aura-like warmth, a rose light. My day is the fulfillment, the dream’s promises in the process of coming true. But with these dreams – I feel isolated, even with people, cubed off from the rest of the world in some drifting ice-floe – and above all, lost. How is it that my dreams can influence me so much? I can’t control them – or can I?
And now, with these dreams above my head, I wonder – am I just waiting to fail? Am I treadmilling towards exhaustion? My waking life, when I’ve had enough dreamless sleep, shouts no! I’m searching towards success, fulfillment. I have so many good things in life – a wealth of good experiences and people surround me, more than maybe any other time in my life. Yet I have these dreams.

In Shakespeare, Hamlet says “O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space – were it not that I have bad dreams.”
Lately, I can relate.

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/16394420/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/16394420/ Sun, 13 Jan 2008 20:16:07 PST
But before I went and saw that gallery, which was amazing, I had an equally awesome time at the mall yesterday with my friends! I got to see two friends from high school that I hadn't seen in what seemed like forever. Being with them was even more fun now then it was in high school! Of course, being out of that physics class we had definitely served to make things a lot better... We went to lunch at TGIF's, where we had a fun waiter who took it as his personal mission to make every trip around his tables a juggling act - carrying cups on top of each other, trays on his head, and multiple plates on each arm, all while making constant conversation - the guy was amazing! He made everything he was doing an art - and had fun doing it! We loved it. After the food, we went to the mall and a bunch of stores around - I didn't spend too much, which was good, but we did a lot of looking and trying on and pronouncing articles "so cute on you" or "not the right color." Then we went and got ice cream The best way to end a day.

Before that, took me to Red Hot and Blue for dinner! It was our first dinner date in a while, so I was excited - and it was great! Granted, there's not much at a barbeque place for a vegetarian, but I had potatoes, we both had huge pitchers of soda, and the atmosphere of the place was awesome! Photographs of passionate artists, snapped at the peak of a crescendo of emotion, filled the walls, along with tons of old show posters from blues classicists like BB King, etc. We talked about music half the time! I need to listen to more blues/jazz... I really haven't heard that much at all. It looks so amazing, though - I love music that is passionate, feeling, strong, remplis d'un vin rebelle. Like a lot of musicals, or French singers - or blues singers. So I need to hear more. Any reccommendations?

And before that, I got my birthday present! For my birthday in a few days (the 23rd), my mom gave me my present early - a gift card for The Book Rack, a great independent book store! I found so many books I can't wait to read - The Dante Club, which I started already, a language book on Japanese, which I want to learn, a couple... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/16382363/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/16382363/ Sun, 13 Jan 2008 04:50:55 PST - an awesome friend from fanfiction.com!

Hey! You are tagged!
The rules :
1. Post these rules
2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves
3. Tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts
4. At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named
5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged

My 8 random facts:

~ I love tea. Love. And I will probably offer it to you at least three times if you ever visit.

~ I keep pet hermit crabs. They're cute! I like strange pets.

~ My boyfriend is hilarious, and has at least ten characters he can summon up at random and channel absolutely brilliantly. He's an awesome actor.

~ My computer is completely filled up, with only three things: lots of music, lots of photos, and lots of writing.

~ I think surrealist art is endlessly inspiring.

~ I love to read classics! Shakespeare, Moliere, Wilde, Kafka, Poe, Sinclair, Plato, etc are unbelievably amazing.

~ I shed paper. Everywhere. Like Hansel and Gretel with the breadcrumbs. I don't know how it happens.

~ I tangle wires just by walking by them. Seriously. My roommates know.

I tag...

]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/16122253/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/16122253/ Thu, 27 Dec 2007 10:48:26 PST It had a faulty logic board. You never know how much you use the computer until you don't have it for a week... no email, facebook, random writing, journaling, photo stuff... my camera was bursting with photos after Christmas, and nowhere to put them! But it's back now, along with a lot of new photos - hopefully some which I'll put up here.

I've been reading Milton's Paradise Lost - somehow, in all the classics, I missed reading that one along the way, so I decided to finally pick it up over break. Wow, I didn't know what I'd been missing! It's absolutely amazing! I'm glad I waited til now to read it, because it's the first English epic poem, in the tradition of the Iliad and the Odyssey - now that I just finished a mythology class this month, and the Odyssey last summer, it's the perfect time to read it! Sweeping battles, geographic descriptions that span pages (okay, that's not my favorite part, but it's beautiful), long philosophical conversations and soliloquies among Adam, Eve, God, Satan, and even the angels... it's incredible. And the verse... it's like listening to music. Reading poetry, I think most readers have three reader-voices going on in their heads at once - at least, I do. #1 is the main reader, paying attention to the plot, focusing on story and character, submersed in the world of the author - and going way too fast for reader #2, the poet-reader, who trying frantically to sound-read its iambic pentameter in rhythm before reader #1 turns the page and forsakes its lyrical beauty in favor of just knowing what happens next. Then there's reader #3, the footnote-tracker. Reading through the page, finding a strange word, glance down to the footnotes to read its whole history, go back up, read the passage again to make its sense in context, find another allusion - is there a footnote for that? - go down and check, look up again... it's the ADD reader, with a bit of the annotate-everything reader thrown in. That one gets turned on during the school year. But still, there's always reader #4, the writing student. Look how he uses the rhythm here! See, he puts no adjectives here, to emphasize the further desolateness of the place or to stamp a period on his point... and there, he's using metaphor for the first time in ten lines! This must be significant. And how he develops Adam in relation to Satan... I need to work on that paralleling, with essential differences. I wish he was alive to give writers advice...
And reader #5, the up-and-down admirer-despairer. As in - wow, this is so amazing! What a contribution to the world of literature - how could he have written all this, so wonderfully formed and felt and enflamed! He's a genius... incredible, I'm in awe... but oh, man, how could I ever think I'm a writer after this? Not only him, but so many others are so gifted and hardworking... they're crafting creative, carefully constructed castles while I'm still trying to make my little sand-pile stand up, and the leaf-flag not look tacky. Will I ever reach anywhere near their excellence?
Well, I know I won't reach Milton's. But whenever I read anything, that admiration and intimidation co-mingle - the more I love a book, the more I'll be intimidated by it. I guess that's how things are. Reader #5 will be eternally ambivalent - but the love of the reading experience outweighs the self-disappointment that goes along with it. And it makes me ready to learn. I have so much to learn! And I love doing it. The reading, interpreting, analyzing, seeing others' interpretations and drawing from them, gazing up at the high, the awe-inspiring, and striving to draw from all I see to help my own attempts, infuse parts of their teaching, like yeast into bread, into my own writing process. It's a continual creation, interspersed with copius admiration of those who came before - and wow, it's so much fun.
I love vacation, and I love school - among many reasons, they each offer opportunities to learn in different ways.
And vacation has a lot more sleep. That too.



A great club! http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/13986461/ Thu, 02 Aug 2007 12:48:59 PDT
Hey! I'm selling prints right now, just from home, if anyone's interested - I finally got hold of some photo paper, and my printer is working! Yay! The prints are $15 each for 8x10s, glossy or matte, but I'll do anything in my gallery from 8x10 to any size smaller. Contact me by note or email (mizamour@yahoo.com) if you're interested, with your address and requested prints/sizes. Thanks for viewing!

-Miz

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member of http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/13946853/ Mon, 30 Jul 2007 19:49:17 PDT
Shameless lyric twist, I know... but I love the song, and I want to see the movie. There's something irresistible to me about French music... I love it! Anyway - ma vie en orange. I tried to color my hair, for the very first time, on Thursday. It's naturally a medium to dark blonde, darkened a bit from when I was little - I wanted it just a little blonder. I got a package from the grocery store, Sunflower Gold. The bottle smelled like nail polish and cat litter, even when we poured in the scent packet - but the box promised "soft gold, enhanced," model on the front reigning supreme in lush red lipstick, face framed in sun-silk. We rubbed it into my hair, carefully touching every root, moistening every strand. The stuff was orange, bright orange - but I'd seen stranger things at the hair salon, where people come in blonde, rub in vivid violet, purple as Barney's toothpaste, and emerge from the blow-dryer cocoons with deep chocolate curls. An orange-shaded potion didn't seem any less magical. Thirty minutes of hiatus, reading a Warhammer sci-fi novel while scratching the dog, with his thick black fur, behind his ears. Then the washing - shock of hot then cold, settling into a warm massage of water, curtains of tangerine-tinted water draping from my bangs - careful, almost too close to the eyes. Pressing the hair in a towel, feeling the odd slippery softness of conditioner lulling usually-wild locks into a soporific dormancy. I cleared the mirror, humidity-blurred, with a towel. And I'm orange! Bright as a clementine. My brother would suggest, later, that a pumpkin had exploded on my unsuspecting head. I'd admired redheads - but I was the shade of an embarrassed hamster. It was fun! I went to the zoo, chaperoning a bunch of kids, the next day. They liked it! I kind of did too. A day after that, I went to the Hair Cuttery, they showed me a light shade of blonde, pale as vanilla bean yogurt. I admired it. An hour, a brush, a tube of paste, and a whirl of a clipping hairdryer later, I stand before the mirror, pale blonde sampler dangling beside it - and a bright red mane, shimmering orange around my head like an alien chinchilla who'd come to stay. I paid them - I liked it.

Now, I eat a tangerine popsicle, taking still life pictures of some table fruit. There's an orange - I set it on top of a glass, a firm round lid. Tungsten light bounces in little windows off the curving fruits. I lean down - got to get this angle - and the mane follows, orange curtain something of a flash-bounce for the photo - if it was just a bit longer. La vie en orange. I like this new hair.

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member of http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/13910805/ Sat, 28 Jul 2007 07:06:55 PDT
I love the article in last week's Time, detailing "The Sad Fate of the Comma." In his column... author Robert Samuelson explains the rapid decrease of comma use in literature and emails and instant messages and about everywhere as in this blog. It's a metaphor for the hurried pace of modern life, he says - with all the focus on multitasking, efficiency, convenience, and almost pause-less living, the comma has become almost out of date - a relic from a less harried time, where people could afford to pause in the middle of a sentence, and ponder what they've read. Nodding to the editors who had removed some of his commas in the past, he invites all his forsaken commas to take a bow, in the name of literature and society - and the persistence of a much-needed pause.
,,,,,,

I'm been stuck to the multi-tasking Post-It wall as much as anyone else - it's not a virtue or a vice, it's just survival and fulfillment - but this summer, I've been lucky to be able to take a pause, pack a few commas, and just absorb... or adventure! In the last two weeks, I've taken two kids to the mall (one of whom started choking on a taco chip, we called emergency, they came, she was okay - it'd scratched her throat, but she was feeling better - and then proceeded to rock the arcade in laser tag and electronic jump rope), taken a group of kids to both a water park (keeping track of kids in a wave pool is like herding cats) and the zoo (yay pandas!), went to Otakon with my boyfriend and his friend (yay Eureka Seven cosplayers!) and hung out with one of my friends, who has an awesome idea for a TV show (yay brilliant ideas!) I also dyed my hair orange. By accident.

But, in between all of that... I've also gotten to play card games with my little sister. Play WoW on my computer, with my boyfriend. Cuddle adorable animals (ferret, kittens, cats, dogs, hermit crabs). Take some photo walks, finding a thousand pictures just around the neighborhood. And read... a LOT. With lots of commas.

In between running around and hanging around, I've gotten to see and experience some great things - at both frenzied-ferret speed and languid hermit-crab crawl. I've been lucky enough to be able to do both, this summer... and somewhere in the space between, I've found contentment. Maybe that's where the comma goes - right between speeding start and cooling finish, when you're sitting at the pause in the race, washed in the adrenaline of the first and the relaxation of the last - living both, loving some of each. Frenzy, fulfillment. And a little bit of one in the other.

This summer's been a comma, set right in the middle of one of the most exciting - but tumultuous - periods of my life so far. If life's a book? The comma's here to stay.

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member of ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/13523156/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/13523156/ Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:15:45 PDT
Coming hopefully soon! I'm getting my drivers' license in just about a week! I'm excited! I've pretty much got everything down, now... finally parking, which ironically was one of the things I had the most trouble with. Just got to try freeways now!

I'm reading so many books right now... The Color of Water, Le Vieux Cordelier (attempting to), History of France, and about 20 different photography books from the library... yay I'm having so much fun with macro stuff, as well as everything else - and I got a job photographing a wedding next year! Needless to say, I'm reading up on wedding photography... though I've done lots of events and people/candid-portrait shots, a wedding will be a new experience for me... but I'm excited! I just hope the building doesn't have low light. My flash is terrible in low light, and without it, the aperture isn't wide enough/speed is too low... but the wedding will be outside, so that shouldn't be a problem.

Among my most recent photo adventures have been:

Yesterday: Gigantic Transformers cars roared into my neighborhood and ripped up my road! Not as much exaggeration as it seems... there was a pretty big bunch of vehicles tearing up/sanding the road, turning the asphalt into a powdery stream that spiraled into the overflowing dump truck in front of it like a twirling phone cord... it was awesome-looking! Unfortunately, my CF card was full on my camera... I frantically looked through about 50 pictures for some to delete, found two, snapped one, found another two, snapped another one, etc... wow. I really need to remember to upload and delete my previous pictures.

Couple days ago: I went over to take care of my neighbor's birds, and got waylaid by bees... there was a whole cluster of them, by a spray of purple flowers. My boyfriend was playing WoW, and I lost track of time - ended up staying out there almost an hour, trying to catch fast-moving bees in a shallow-ranged aperture... I haven't quite looked at the results yet, but whether it turned out or not - it was fun, and good practice!

Last weekend: My boyfriend's pets. What can I say? They're adorable. From the ferret crawling into the sleeping bag and licking my toes, to the bouncy purring kittens settling themselves right between me and my boyfriend's conversation, to the big fluffball of a dog who sits in the middle of the room and looks plaintively but happily at all around... they're great!

A while before that: I discovered the incredible photogenic qualities of bread! Took lots of silly bread portraits... as well as close hand/feet still lifes... my mom modeled.

Two weeks ago: I went to a church, recommended to me - I don't think I'll go again, but I loved the atmosphere and took notes and photos throughout for an article on it, if I wrote one - same as I do for the theatre performances in school, political meetings, etc. I should write that article sometime. Photo highlight? Two adorable little kids in the front who found endless enjoyment in dancing to the worship band, dresses swirling around them.

So yep! That's pretty much what I've been doing the past week or so... photography, reading a lot, some photo marketing stuff, a bit of writing, and... playing WoW. Though I'm not sooo addicted. Hopefully. Now if only someone would give Tenelkaa a camera...

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member of http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/13166491/ Thu, 31 May 2007 16:34:08 PDT [link]

Waterscape features: [link]

Lord of the Rings features: [link]

I've decided what I want to do this summer!

My usual summer job, helping a kids' summer drama camp as stage manager/assistant, was shrunk this year - only 8 kids are in now, instead of the usual 25-35. So, that left me out of a job for the summer. But the year's been tumultuous, and the first year of college full of everything happening at once, in all aspects of life - so it's been good to relax for a month. I love the summer. I've played with my sister, brushed my dog, hung out with my boyfriend almost every day, played World of Warcraft, read, looked at photography info, helped around the house, rode with friends, and just veg'd. It was great!

Now, though, it being almost June, I want to do more with the time I have here. How often do you get a whole summer to do anything whatsoever, especially at this age? In a year or so, I'll be in an internship, or back at my job, or studying abroad, or researching a thesis. This, right now, is a rare time - and I want to make the most of it.

So I'll keep doing everything I'm doing - loving the pets, hanging with friends and family and my love, relaxing - but I also want to do something for the community. God, and people I love, saved my life - for that, I am inexpressibly grateful. I can never repay them for how they've helped me - but I can make the most of my time now, in each moment.

I used to think that meant I had to be busy 24/7, frantic, stretched. If each moment was to be seized as if it was the last, to then drop into time, absorbed irrevocably in the formless mass of the former - how could anyone waste a second? Stretch to the limit, strain toward some light in the distance - I had to hurry! There was no time! If I relaxed, I was wasting something. If I let go of worry, if I did for myself, I would let my mind spill to the wastes of callousness and uncaring - everything I didn't want to be! I thought that. But now, it's different. I was lucky to have this time to relax, rethink, be - not a lot of people are given the opportunity to take a philosophy-break. I can do something for myself, without being terrified of selfishness... and with that freedom, I can do more for others. And I want to do more.

So this summer, I've been given a gift. It's not just this time, this month of relaxation... it's the awesome love and support and hilarity and amazingness and fun and philosophy and thinking and talking and doing that my friends, and my loved ones, gave me in spades - and helped me re-seize my own loves. I'm incredibly grateful. And so now, in the next two months, between relaxing, doing photography for the same drama company (just not stage managing) being with friends and loved ones, and pursuing my interests of history, photography, writing, etc... I want to volunteer as much as I can.

That was one of the things I loved at college - a volunteer requirement seems a little contradictory, but it really worked for me - made me fit it into my schedule, as busy as it was, and through that, enlivened my life. And I hope it helped people, even just a little - because awesome people in this world have sure helped me.

I want to volunteer this summer - with photography, with writing, with painting, with unloading cans from a truck - anything I can do. I want to give back. Because my life was given back to me.

The world is an amazing place.

I love living.

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member of ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/13021747/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/13021747/ Sun, 20 May 2007 05:54:12 PDT [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
Please VOTE for our contest at [link]

Phantom of the Opera art features: [link]

Waterscape features: [link]

Lord of the Rings features: [link]

So, after a year of seeing Tem and Arariel, as well as Timor and Oria and the bunch in the awesome rambles of , I couldn't resist - I bought World of Warcraft. I'm playing a female orc, Tenelkaa (points if you guess the name reference ) and Pierce (aka ) is playing a male orc, Ghakar! I'm level 4 so far, and Pierce is approaching level 8. They've both, as predicted by the variety of personalities occupying A-chan's thoughts, developed very distinct identities of their own.

Tenelkaa: Stop hitting that box! The front of it is glowing... it must be the taint of evil! I must cleanse it of its impurity! *dives at computer*

Ghakar: Hmmmmm, I can't do that quest yet-- I need peons to aid me in battle- what to do now? *sees mottled boar walk by* Piggy? KILL!!!! *Ghakar then charges kills and devours piggy*

Tenelkaa: *shakes head* You and your lunch... we can't afford time to eat while those things of evil are running around, spewed from the mouth of the burning blade! Come, join me on my quest! We shall rid the land of their pitiful attempts at destruction! Come!

Ghakar: Destruction? I'm game *enters cave*
battle shout, charge, rend, etc. Quest done!!!

Tenelkaa: ....that was... impressive! And while we're here, let's venture further into that cavern and vanquish the hellspawn! Hmm, I don't have a quest for that... but no matter! The enemies must be destroyed! For the warlord! (even though he insulted my prowess.... he will soon witness the true power of Tenelkaa... as soon as I rez back from the attack of those 5 creatures. Grrrarg.)

Ghakar: *raises eyebrow* Now that's my kind of woman. For da Horde!!! *goes about eviscerating various gribblies*

Tenelkaa: Ahhh, that was a satisfying battle. But there are always more! Wait! My... ergh, my controller... where are you going?

Miz: Got to do laundry... and I want to finish that book. ^^

Tenelkaa: You'll be back!!!!!!! *triumphant battle shout, then sits down, irked, to wait for the next battle*

Emo-Cat: *yawn* I's 1 in the morning better hit the hay...

Ghakar: NOOO! I need to quest, my saga is just beginning! What am I supposed to do in the meantime?!?

Emo-Cat: *points to scorpoids*

Ghakar: *wicked grin* DINNER!!!

Tenelkaa: *has tired of sitting, is now running her 10th lap around the Den* Hmm, I think I'll join you.... *grin, runs off*

Yep... that's them... wow, I wonder what'll happen when they meet Tem and Arariel...

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member of http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/12914937/ Thu, 10 May 2007 19:02:06 PDT [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
Please VOTE for our contest at [link]

Phantom of the Opera art features: [link]

Waterscape features: [link]

Lord of the Rings features: [link]

"I'm back! I'm back! I'm... *slams into wall* Ah, my back!"
Yay for the awesomeness of Spiderman 2! But yep - I'm back! After a long time - almost four months - and a LOT that went on. There was a lot of good and bad, and lots of stories - but way too much to write in a blog. For now, I'll just say - my friends are the most amazing people in the world - and life-savers... I am inspired by many incredible women... cuddly animals are the best ever... Aromas and the Wave are so much fun... and new year's resolutions sometimes need to be made most in the middle of the year. To sum more of it up... here's a random quiz. I hope to be back to more (and better) writing soon... but for now, I'm just dropping a note to let you know I'm still here. Yay!

1) What are you thinking right now? Amy and her friends playing in the backyard are so cute! I just took some pictures of them playing outside on the trampoline, at various stages of flight - they are so exuberant and happy! Yay!
2) What should you be doing instead of taking this quiz? Probably finishing cleaning the room downstairs... I still haven't unpacked all the way from the move back home last week, for summer break.
3) Were you named after anyone? A little girl in a church - my mom asked her her name, loved it, and named me after her. Also, my middle name is a combination of two of my relatives'.
4) Does your name mean anything? Jewel.
5) Nickname(s): Mizamour, Miz, Desmoulins, Camera-Girl, Paparrazi.
6) If you had to choose a new name, what would it be? I love unique-sounding names.... maybe Sendoa (Basque for "strong"), or Aurelie (French for golden, and named for Marcus Aurelius), or Camille (French - because of Desmoulins, of course).
7) Date Of Birth: January 23
8) Place of Birth and Current Location: East Coast US
10) Astrology Sign: Aquarius
11) Chinese Astrology Sign: Dragon
12) Religion: Nondenominational
13) What’s your favorite smell? I love mint... but lots of smells are wonderful! My current favorite is the smell of turned earth... my sister's dog has been digging a hole, and it's funny, but it smells wonderful!
14) Political Position? Moderate
15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Just water - I usually have tea later in the day
16) Hair + Eye colour: Dark blond and brown
17) Do you look like anyone famous? People have said I look like Princess Diana...
18) What do you look like? Skinny, small, earth-toned clothes
19) Any unusual talents? I'm well-versed in the French Revolution!
20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous? Righty
21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other? Straight but not narrow!
22) What do you do for a living? Student, right now, but I'm also a dramatic arts camp assistant/stage manager
23) What do you do for fun? Photography, writing, reading, playing with my sister and pets, hanging out with friends
24) What are your favorite art materials to work with? My camera and computer!
25) What kind of materials would you like to work with? I'd like to try film photography sometime... darkroom would be fun... and I'd love to sculpt.
26) Have you met your grandparents? Yes, some
27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Husband/Wife? Boyfriend, together 1 1/2 years so far!
28) Crush? My boyfriend ^^ Hehehe
29) What celebrity would you date if you could? My boyfriend - he's a celebrity to me!
30) Current worries? Not nearly as many as a few weeks ago - whew!
31) Favorite online Guy/Girl(s): I guess this means just online, and not in person and online? Or is it both? Well, just online... I would have to say it's ThaliatheTiger! Her Rambles are amazing!
32) Favorite place to be? Currently? Outside with a book and my dog and sister, or my wonderful boyfriend
33) Least favorite place to be? Around anyone yelling
34) Do you burn or tan? I tan everywhere... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11270669/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11270669/ Mon, 01 Jan 2007 07:19:19 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
Please VOTE for our contest at [link]

Phantom of the Opera art features: [link]

Waterscape features: [link]

Lord of the Rings features: [link]

The Les Mis Amis appear, flocking around a large round table. They raise both their glasses and a very perplexed Joly into the air, as the Rent Amis jump onto the table, brandish lawn chairs and guitars, and shout "To Arms!" with Camille Desmoulins, who is also busy rescuing Mark's "the narration crackles and pops with incendiary wit" press release from the flames. Meanwhile, Mark takes pictures of a very media-weary Victor Frankenstein, who is over in the corner with Henry Jekyll, discussing just how to repair PR when an experiment goes so... drastically unpredictably. Boq and Eponine compare notes, lamenting the perils of the "friend zone" while maybe - just maybe - creating a pairing of their own, while Cosette and Marius, Roger and Mimi (who have escaped the now-very-crowded table), Elphaba and Fiyero, and Don Quixote and Dulcinea all kiss under the lingering mistletoe... while Valjean and Fantine look on proudly, and also steal a kiss of their own, which is unfortunately captured by five fangirls with cameras, who rush off to write fanfiction... and Mark, who decides to include it in the yearly slideshow.

In this chaotic but happy scene, the new year begins.



And so do everyone's revolutions!

See, we don't have resolutions, anymore. We make them with determination, and then turn back again, to our regular lives before (revolving in an absurdist revolution back to the start, with only a little change) - or we explode them into our lives with action and resolve, and they take root - becoming a real new year's revolution. Vive! They're all revolutions. And the difference is action.

This year, I want to act - act on things and in ways I haven't before. I want to lead with real leadership, shouldering responsiblility and following it through, and accepting the consequences - good or bad. I haven't, before. I want to now.
(Valjean turns around)

I want to create, in writing and in life, and I want to work unheeding of the dangers of criticism or dislike. I want to create and not be accused of trying to copy. Many elements fuse into my world. I want to reflect them all.
(Howard Roark turns around)

I want to start something and finish it - work consistently and see it through. I want to be able to look at the result - whether I turn from it in distaste or gaze on it with pride - or both - and know it's mine.
(Victor Frankenstein turns around)

I want to lead - if not by direct front-leading, but by example, if I can. I want to try to inspire, to cast off bad habits that keep me from what I should do, what I could do. I want to be free to lead.
(Grantaire turns around)

I want to look at myself, honestly, without continually relying on others for self-assessment. I want to be able to recognize my flaws, and merits, without either an overly condemning or overly praising eye. I want to see clearly.
(Mark, and Taran Wanderer, turn around)

I want to be free from jealousy - not completely, as I know no one is, but I want to unlatch its hold from me. When I see others succeed greatly, I want to be truly happy - aspire to their success, as well, let it inspire me to my own - but be really, honestly happy at the same time, that they have achieved success. And value their work for its quality, beauty - and lessons.
(Galinda turns around)

And finally... I want to help. I want to... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11198356/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11198356/ Tue, 26 Dec 2006 11:16:54 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
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Yay for Christmas!

Yesterday was great... my brother came over, and we opened presents and watched Scrubs (I swore I wasn't going to get addicted to a show over break... but I couldn't help it, it's just too great) and Inside Man (interesting movie!) and then I started cooking. Our dog was so adorable - he actually opened his presents, using his teeth and paws to gently hold the present, ripping off bits with his teeth and placing them aside, becoming more and more excited as he caught sight of the bone or doggie-football, and finally tossing aside the last of the paper, gripping the present in his teeth, and jumping around with that adorable doggy-smile. He is so cute! And such an amazing dog.

Dinner was chaotic, but fun... I made mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes with marshmallows, both from scratch, cooked a ham, and put together sides (turkey, peas, corn, stuffing) as well. It took a long time, and wow - four pans on the stove at once, stuff in the oven, rolls ready to be pushed into the toaster oven as soon as the potatoes dinged, timers for the sweet potatoes and stuffing ringing at once, while the corn needed stirring... whew! It was definitely interesting... but so fun! And having my boyfriend's family over was really nice

Edit: Yippeeeeeee! Today I got to do my first photo shoot! I did it for an actress, one of my mom's friends - her photographer moved, or something, so I got to fill in! It was so fun! 280 shots... whew. And wow, the macro lens is amazing for portraits. Yippeeeeee! I'm excited

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Merry Christmas!!!!! Joyeux Noel!!!!!

Today was Christmas Eve, and the first Christmas with my parents separated. I went over to my dad's house... and it actually wasn't as awkward as I had thought it would be! It was nice... my brother showed me his new HDTV (I couldn't really tell the difference from the old, though - but he's happy ) and we watched Pitch Black (I LOVE the camera work in that movie - amazing!!!) and opened presents. I got... okay, this needs all caps...

A MACRO LENS!!!!!!!!! Aaaaahhhhh! Wowwww! I tried it on my camera, and WOW - it's absolutely amazing. I can't wait to take pictures with it!!!!! It's going to be incredible! I tried taking pictures with it, but unfortunately right as I was going to take a macro of one of the tree lights, my battery died... so it's charging right now. Expect some macros in the gallery soon... *races off with camera* My brother made me a mix cd and gave me a Family Guy book - haha, Stewie I got him The Odyssey, which he liked too He's reading the Illiad right now. That's one of the classics that I never really got around to... I wish I had. It's great, I know. I'll read it sometime soon, I hope

I'm cooking Christmas dinner tomorrow! For eight people! Whew! I hope it goes well! I'm really excited, but wow... whew! My mom, sister and me, as well as my boyfriend and his family are coming.

I found out half the presents I got for friends at home, I accidentally shipped to my dorm room! So I'll be doing a lot of mailing when I get back...

I love our Christmas tree here at home... it's so pretty, with all its colorful lights that fade in and out, and the dog sitting under it adorably chewing on a doggie bone... yay!

Merry Christmas, all (and happy holidays)! Hope they go wonderfully!

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I'm reading this one novel, lately, about (what else) the French Revolution. It's... good, but strange. I'm reading it, and loving its detail, its interaction, characters - but then there's a day, an event, a glance, something, written well as always... but somehow I'm left feeling dissatisfied and depressed. It was something with all the characters... something with the tone. I stayed up til late reading three long essays of the author's... very interesting, but there was still that same sense. I wasn't sure what it was. Then I read some reviews of her works... and finally, in one review I found it. It said "these characters have no joy." It's true! None of them, throughout the novel, have one experience of true joy! They're passionate about things, sure, but their passion has the emptiness of formless excitement without purpose, or the intellectual conviction that one storms about to a friend and then, after winning, realizes the satisfaction is just that... satisfaction, maybe with a bit of pride - but no joy! That's what is wrong with the book, these characters... it seems conceited of me, making a sweep judgment like that about such a well-loved book, but... the characters are joyless! Camille Desmoulins, in history's letters so joyfully, almost disbelievingly full of wonder about his love, Lucile, and the happiness of their bond, writing passionate letters to her full of his idealism and awe, is portrayed by this writer as almost entirely dispassionate, attached to but rather unloving of Lucile... full of sexual tension with her mother, instead, who he later leaves hanging in the balance, left in bitterness to simply wait out her life while Camille swings glibly over to Lucile - again, with no true joy or passion in either relationship... and Lucile herself is also never happy, vacillating between languishing waiting and alternately ambivalent and jealous affections. I know I tend to idolize people, characters, and even historical figures whom I like, too much. But I find it impossible to believe that all of these figures went through their whole lives, surviving hard childhoods, gaining deep friendships, embarking on vast activist careers, marrying, and dedicating themselves to an ideal of life, without having one single experience of passion, enthusiasm, true happiness, joy! Any happiness the characters might seem to experience, in this work, is shown to be a facade... no experience is genuine, no ideal aspired to, no happiness achieved, no dream realized. No! Some call this style of writing realistic, naming the "over-romanticized" works false and fantastical. But this kind of life is just as false as the first! Just as no life can be completely happy or dramatic, also no life can be entirely mundane, joyless, or facade-ridden! Life is a balance - and joy exists! Not only exists, but thrives! Motivation is not folly, idealism is not formless daydreaming, enthusiasm is not blindness, knowledge should not translate to cynicism, disappointments are not the end of all joys! There is more to life than survival. In a novel where, at the end, most of the characters do not survive, this should especially be the case - a life lived fully, fulfillingly, committedly, determinedly, passionately, hopefully, enthusiastically, joyfully. A life not survived - but LIVED. This is the life I want, this is the life I live - this is the life so many others live, as well. This is the life that should not, cannot be erased, should not be reduced to mere existence! Lives and people are complex... disappointments are there, but so are happinesses. If joy, enthusiasm, hope, love, are erased - what is left of life? The mundane scribble that remains is not a human life - it is that of a worm, existing only to feed and crawl, never reaching higher or extending lower, never glancing towards the sun or breathing pure air. We are not worms! Characters are not worms, past people are not, nor are present, nor are future. No life, no person should be reduced to the status of joylessness. To eliminate joy is to remove the being of man - a heap of personality bits, quirks, maybes, guesses, are left, but no spirit to give them life. Why is this done?... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11125626/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11125626/ Wed, 20 Dec 2006 09:33:26 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
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I just watched "Sleepy Hollow" yesterday, the one with Johnny Depp, and was struck by some huge parallels between the original Irving story and the Revolution's Terror! I know I've been reading a LOT about the French Revolution lately... which could explain my instant connection of these two different things... but then again, it could work!

When searching online, I found a New York Times essay about the French Revolution and the Terror, titled "Headless Horseman" but with no other parallels directly drawn. However, I also found interesting information about Irving himself.
Washington Irving's tale was written 1917, just 23 years after Thermidor; and Robespierre's death by the blade of the Terror. Irving, according to several biographers, based the characters on a family he knew, and not directly on the Revolution. However, Irving also wrote a story about a ghost of the Terror - "The Adventure of the German Student." The Revolution, even if not a direct influence on Irving, was certainly present in his mind - and could have influenced his story.

In Irving's tale of Sleepy Hollow, a meek schoolteacher journeys to the New York town of Sleepy Hollow, becoming quickly infatuated with the pretty Katrina Van Tassel. Unfortunately, he has a rival - "Brom Bones," an Abraham Van Brunt, who isn't about ready to give her up. Crane attends a local party, hoping to see her, during which guests tell terrifying tales of the Headless Horseman and his eerie murderous rampages. While returning home, Crane is pursued by the Horseman, who drives Crane away from the town. Katrina is left with Brom Bones - who is implied to be the Horseman himself.

The Revolution parallels. First, the story is set only just after both the French and American Revolutions. The Horseman was rumored to have killed and been killed in battle, as a Hessian warrior - a foreigner, fighting for ambiguous reasons - love of money? Carnage? Loyalty does not seem to factor in. Certainly the shadows of the two Revolutions must loom over the times - even though won, these victors of the American Revolution must look back and think: what if we hadn't? With such a violent and tumultuous (and in their time, much less successful-appearing) French Revolution in their wake - inspired, no less, by their own Revolution - the leaders and commoners alike must have looked with fear upon the dangerous results of a similar Revolution, one too close to home. Could their Revolution have been ours, under slightly different circumstances, they may have wondered. Certainly the situations were very different - but the proximity and connections of the two Revolutions must have made the relation a bit eerie.

The fact that the Hessian is a foreigner, a fighter recruited by the opposing side from abroad, is also pertinent. George Washington, while admiring the efforts of Lafeyette, seemed (at the least uninterested in other foreigners), saying "I do most devoutly wish that we had not a single Foreigner among us, except the Marquis de la Fayette, who acts upon very different principles than those which govern the rest." Earlier, he expresses irritation at the foreigners under his command. A fear of foreigners was somewhat prevalent under the Revolution, most foreign recruits being distrusted for ulterior motives. The Hessians, fighting against the Americans, must have been even more reviled - and certainly seen as a menace. The Headless Horseman is a Hessian, first, feared for himself and his status as a formidable fighter - but he is also, and perhaps even more prevalently, in this story, a foreigner - and like many of the French in that time, distrusted and disliked.

The spectacle of decapitation in both stories is obviously a prominent feature, but not enough to make the correlation close enough. But other parallels are close as well! First, the Horseman rides in the night, seizing victims seemingly arbitrarily, spreading fear under a seemingly senseless code of his own. He is searching for his head. Does this not parallel the Terror? During the Terror, the Committee of Public Safety acted as a sort of secret police, seizing those "dangerous to the republic," some for crimes so small as keeping a coin with a royal portrait, or even show... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11070841/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11070841/ Fri, 15 Dec 2006 08:42:51 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
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So, I'm home! YAY! And cooking and baking like crazy... So far I've made a bunch of pasta dishes (with a new sun-dried-tomato-scallion sauce that turned out really good - even though I'd never made it before!), lots of cake/cookie/muffin stuff, etc etc etc! It's so fun!

It started out with what my mom termed "Aerobic Shopping." This revolutionary technique involves entering the store (with suspense - no one knows just when this race will start!) then one member (me) rushing off to the far end of the store, proclaiming a need for provolone cheese. When she is halfway across the store, another (my boyfriend) will call "Wait, it's over here," while trekking across the store to the first. The two meet in the middle, taking off quickly toward the mentioned aisle, only to discover it's only a milk display - and head once again in the opposite direction. While there, the first competitor will race to find four different kinds of cheese for two different recipes (including the provolone, which no one seems to think would ever be needed in a block!) She will finally locate the cheese, but only in a sort of stringy bag mix along with mozzarella. Uh oh. Little does she know this will prove doom later, when the gourmet macaroni comes out of the oven bubbling, sparkling, nicely browned - but so stuck together with the stringy cheese that trying to pull it apart involves a ropes course and rappelling training. (But hey, more aerobics!)

The cheese search will soon be followed by a frantic quest for tarragon leaves and hazelnuts (the latter being seemingly only available, in that store, in a gigantic bag of multiple odd nut mixtures - but then found, three minutes later, in a small unlabeled bin by the peanuts. Next, one finds better sundried tomatoes! The first is searched for in the cart, now full with a mountain of recipe stuff - finally located, and the aerobic shoppers rush off toward the finish!

Next, we get home. I make the macaroni with the stringy cheese, that most everyone likes (as soon as they can put away their rappelling hooks) and determine to leave out the mazzarella next time. The next day, I make the pasta and sundried-tomato-scallion-sauce - which turns out wonderfully. It's a dinner for 8 people, including kids - so I make sure to have regular sauce and just plain butter and cheese available, as well as the "weird sauce." One box of pasta turns out not to be enough - so I throw in another, restirring the scallion sauce and adding more milk to stop its thickening - while quickly throwing together the egg salad I made the night before into sandwiches. I offer the swiftly-finished kids desserts - to which the dog eagerly acquiesces. We give him a treat.

Now, last night. I decide at 9:00 PM, for no particular reason, to make pesto. Tarragon pesto, with the elusive hazelnuts. I start - it seems easier than I'd thought. But then there's the garlic. (gag) And the hazelnuts. I've never toasted them before. "Toast til brown and fragrant," the recipe says. They're already brown... very brown, in fact. Should I check that one off? And fragrant? That's a problem. I open the oven to stir them and a ghastly odor like decaying popcorn wafts up - ergh. I close it. After they're done, apparently we can take the skins off. I look skeptically at the nuts, spread on the cookie sheet on top of the stove. Take THESE shells off? No way. But their appearance belies them, and I find that the skin-shells are actually a lot softer then they were. Hm. Guess toasting pays off - even if it smells... odd. My sister, with whom I have been singing Les Mis songs (very loudly) and Wild Rover ("aaaaand I've spent all me money, on whiskey and beeeeer!") decides to help me shell them - and we do. While singing "Red and Black." And discovering just how much s... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11056353/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11056353/ Wed, 13 Dec 2006 21:24:50 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
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1)What's your character's name?
- Ari, meaning "lion" in several old languages. He's the ward of my LARP character, Stigandre (see last journal).

2)How old is he/she?
- Very young - maybe 9, 10

3)Is your OC a boy or girl?
- boy

4)What's his/her race?
- human (kin, homid in Whitewolf)

APPEARANCE

1)If this character were to suddenly become part of the 3D world, and ended up in a heavily-populated area, how many stares would he/she get?
- Not many at all - just a little kid

2)Is your character considered normal in his/her own world?
- Pretty much, yep - but he can seem older than he is, and tends to have bouts of grave seriousness. These don't last too long, though.

3)What would be his/her most recognizable feature(s)?
- Probably his eyes - they're very piercing, and can look accusatory, fierce, or devoted, depending.

4)Would you consider your OC as attractive?
- He probably would be when he got older - right now he's just a cute little kid.

PERSONALITY

1)Temper?
- Yes, very much - but not so much outbursts, tends to bottle it up into a cauldron of steaming rage.

2)Does your character ever get depressed?
- Not exactly - more resentful, disillusioned, angry.

3)Leader or Follower?
- Follower, because of age and position in life - but wants to be a leader.

4)What is the main aspect of his/her personality?
- Fierce longing - for what, he's not sure. Dissatisfied with his former life - wants more, including more power.

HISTORY

1) Did your OC have a family of any sort? If so, are they still alive?
- Yes - the wyrm-tained werewolf that Stigandre et al killed... and now, mostly, Stigandre.

2) Is your character out on his/her own? If so, why?
- Yes, with Stigandre. Even though Stigandre had killed his caretaker, they were longtime childhood companions - and he is disillusioned with and resentful of the Get of Fenris as well, so follows him as his only out. Allows himself to be cared for by Stigandre, but not incredibly close to him. He doesn't understand the Get's philosophy of wyrm=bad, and is drawn to and fascinated by that life which killed his caretaker. He explores the wyrm as far as he can (which isn't much) and longs for, in part, that life. (This worries Stigandre to no end).

3)Has he/she encountered any traumatizing events?
- Yes, the death of his caretaker.

4)What was probably the best time in his/her life so far?
- Again, childhood - he was very competitive, and skilled to a degree.

ROMANCE

1) Single?.
- Yep, of course - he's a kid


2) Had your OC developed any romantic relationships?
- No.

3) Virgin?
- Of course!

4) Does your character like flirting?
- No.

SYMBOLISM

1) What animal would you associate your OC with? (Sorry, no creatures of myth and legend allowed!)
- probably a puppy, fierce and fiesty but devoted to his friends, Gavroche-like, Yahiko-like...

2) Musical Instrument?
- Hmm, not quite sure...

3) Element?.
- Shadow

4)Planet?
- Again, unsure

1) Do you draw your character?
- Nope - I'm not a skilled draw-er

2)Do you write about him/her?
- Yes

3) Do you use him/her in any rpgs?
- Yep, LARP, along with Stigandre

4)What other ways have you appreciated your OC?
- Just writing, thinking, etc

RANDOMIZE!

1) Is your character wanted for anything?
- No - as long as no one finds out about his wyrm-fascination...

2) What are three weaknesses in him/her?
He's very fierce, and can push... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11056214/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11056214/ Wed, 13 Dec 2006 21:07:05 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
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Yay! A character quiz! has some awesome original characters, and she did this quiz - and of course I had to yoink it too Here it is, for two of my LARP characters - Stigandre, and her/his (haven't decided yet) ward Ari. (Stigandre is a girl when I play her/him, but a guy when I think/write about her/him.)

1)What's your character's name?
- Stigandre - old norse name, meaning "wanderer."

2)How old is he/she?
- Young - maybe 17, at the start of when I play her - has been wandering a while

3)Is your OC a boy or girl?
- (See question 1)

4)What's his/her race?
- werewolf, homid form

APPEARANCE

1)If this character were to suddenly become part of the 3D world, and ended up in a heavily-populated area, how many stares would he/she get?
- Not many, really. Unless he turned lupus... then, yeah....

2)Is your character considered normal in his/her own world?
- Not exactly. (tries to explain without rambling about the Werewolf:The Apocalypse LARP world for an hour). He (I'll stick with he for the time being) was born into the Get of Fenris, a very warlike, strong, exacting tribe - but circumstances happened (loooong story) and he ended up a wanderer, eventually taken in by the Children of Gaia (a moderate, peace-loving clan). He doesn't fit in to most of the tribes, really - but more Gaia than anything else. I modeled him off (who else) Camille Desmoulins... that could give an idea as to his backstory.

3)What would be his/her most recognizable feature(s)?
- Probably his long brown/slightly silvery hair.

4)Would you consider your OC as attractive?
- About average, but yes.

PERSONALITY

1)Temper?
- Not too often. He can have outbreaks of temper, but they usually result from one of his main traits, shortsightedness, and passion - he tends to dive into things, not really thinking, wholly enthusiastic for whatever cause it is - but then, later... hindsight is 20/20. Again, Desmoulins. He can also be very competitive (though that doesn't often come to the surface) and longs for recognition of his abilities.

2)Does your character ever get depressed?
- Yes... usually at the consequences of a cause-gone-awry or an unexpected painful result...

3)Leader or Follower?
- Reluctant leader, sometimes, but mainly a follower - dives into causes, follows its leader with almost idolatrous awe and devotion - but can be resentful if the leader doesn't recognize his talents.

4)What is the main aspect of his/her personality?
- Probably enthusiasm - he delves into everything with idealistic elan and determination - just not a lot of foresight.

HISTORY

1) Did your OC have a family of any sort? If so, are they still alive?
- Closest family was in the Get of Fenris - he's kind of estranged, now, from those. Views his friends as a kind of family - and very close and protective of his ward, Ari.

2) Is your character out on his/her own? If so, why?
- Yes - and here's the long story. While still a cub (almost grown) he was preparing for the rites of joining the Get, and went out on a hunt. During this hunt, the group encountered a wyrm-tainted (pretty much crazy and evil) werewolf. This wolf had been a wanderer, desiring to join the Get, but the Get had not deemed him worthy or capable - which vastly irked his bloated ego. He had turned to the Wyrm, and set out, in his madness, to enact revenge upon the far stronger tribe that had jilted him. The cubs killed him (wyrm-taint was not tolerated at all among the Get), Stigandre playing a significant part,... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11000159/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/11000159/ Fri, 08 Dec 2006 21:38:59 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
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I just finished Les Miserables!

The fandoms call it The Brick, because of its length, 1463 pages - but oh, what a brick, one that builds itself into the sky, that constructs epic worlds and lives all twisted into the mortar of its foundation! A brick that writes, red dust pen as eloquent as all poets of any time, formed by a man so insightful the stars must have receded when he lifted the pen to the heavens and touched God! A brick that lives, breathes, delves into breathless reverie and joyful adoration, conscientious detail and so tantalizing mystery as this! Characters so vivid, real, but larger than life, gods, stepped down to earth to taste the air of our existence... such characters as could never be believed but ARE... in wonderfully, lovingly, bright vivance!

These characters...!

Enjolras! Marius! Cosette! Grantaire! Combeferre! Gavroche! Joly! Jean Valjean - the angel Valjean! Fantine! M. Gillenormand! Even twice-mentioned Mabeuf and spectral Toussaint L'Overture, and devoted Simplice and the little gamin who drew Boussuet l'aigle to the barricade! So real, honest, true, divine! How could a writer create such characters as these - how is it possible on earth? This creation is such as you hope for in heaven, when all worlds are opened and growth continuing ever on into unfathomable, beautiful realms! This is Les Miserables - epic is too small a word!

Here! In this book! All the divinations of man and wonders and trials and turmoils and faults and faces and loves and joys and dark fears and sublime heights! This book is life - all in some few pages! Amazing feat, incredible work, triumphant dream!

I LOVE Les Miserables!

It's something about reading a book, reading anything - when I come out of it, something about it clings to me, mists still swathing the mind even after the dream has faded - and I'll write in the style. Not so well! - who could equal this book! But similar - even with the same punctuation, exclamation, all - it's strange. But now I'm in Les-Mis-style, venerating the life Jean Valjean - and no state could be happier.

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"Hold your head even higher, and into the fire we go!"
--The Scarlet Pimpernel, musical

Yep... that's exam week. Again, I've studied almost all day - and I think I'm ready for tomorrow's fire, the dramatic literature exam. I love that class... it's too bad it's over. That was the AzuManga Daioh-like class.... seriously. We had exchanges like this...

Teacher: (in the midst of a controversial discussion) ...I mean, I like that, I don't disagree - I like meat -

B (very awesomely random class member): OMG! I LOVE meat. Seriously.

Teacher: *headdesk*

That was such a fun class... and even in the midst of all this randomness and hilarity and sidetracks and fun, we learned SO much about dramatic literature. Surrealism, absurdism, expressionism, romanticism, realism, naturalism, etc, etc... we studied them literally "backwards and forwards," reading plays from each style and analyzing them - not over-analyzing, either. Just enough to comphrehend the connection to the school of thought... and it was awesome. I LOVE that class.

I feel like breakfast... and coffee. Yum. But it's 41 minutes past midnight... I'm a little early.

SO much drama this week! I think every single college student here is either stressed out of their minds or just biding time til break... there's two predominant mindsets, here.

The first: AAAAH I have to get this done - and this - and this - and that is late, and I need to turn in this, and should I study for my thursday exam on tuesday and acquire more knowledge or cram more before my wednesday exam... aaaah I need coffee! *stays up all night pulling out hair, attends exam the next day zombie-like and hairless*

And the second: Exams... not a big deal... come on, break - one week... break... *counts the hours* Why's this causing so much fuss? Just chill out and wait for the weekend...

With each of these views, there's an overwhelming sentiment common to every student on campus, cried simultaneously from every caffeine-parched throat and sleepy-stressed voice: "I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS WEEK TO BE OVER!"

And I echo that. There is so much this week. Right now I'm listening to the fellow study-lounge people regale each other with tales of their extreme stress... wow. So many overachievers...

...but I can't really talk, as I'm kind of the poster person...

It's kind of funny, how I am right now. I'm not stressed over these exams - but I'm far from apathetic. I'm working very hard, studying almost continuously... but really, the finals will not change any of my grades. I have all As... and most of the teachers have told me that whatever I get on the final can't change that. As for the letter, I can only get higher. That sounds kind of bragging... but I don't mean it to, honestly. But I'm still really motivated, somehow - it's like the last mile, before the end of the marathon. You almost know you're going to win - but you can't slow down and relish victory in advance, taking the hare's path and enjoying the lead. There's something so important, so crucial... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10944482/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10944482/ Mon, 04 Dec 2006 05:18:41 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
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I really wish someone would draw the Warhammer 40k Horus Heresy characters. Not in action only, a foil for the blazing and war-thralling setting, but as characters... maybe even in regular clothes, out of armor - just characters, as they are. Like Loken, for instance. Or Torgaddon... nooooooo, Torgaddon... I'm still so mad at their killing of Torgaddon. I mean... at first I thought there was a possibility of redemption, when they said he swung the sword down toward Torgaddon's neck... the blade could be stilled, the sword-arm halted, an act of God, an act of a Titan, an explosion, a friend at just the right moment - or SOMETHING - but no. They had to actually kill him. And that's REALLY frustrating. Grrr! And Loken... I don't know what's happening with him. Is he dead? Is he not? Did they just wake him up for five minutes only to let him die? Or did he just black out? I hope that's the case... And Tarvitz.... absolutelyamazingheroicincredibleWOW! I really hope he doesn't die. Really. Ohh! And the barricades! They built barricades!!!! *LesMis reference squee* Yay! And Abbadon. Grrrrrrrrr on Abbadon. That's the only thing to say. GRRR on Abbadon. But Aximand is redeeming himself... though aaaaaaahhhh I am SO MAD he killed Torgaddon... but at least he's having doubts about the Warmaster. He's the Desmoulins of the new group... the enthusiastic Camille, so devoted to the cause, diving into it, but now finally realizing after a friend died at his hands just how much this crusade will cost him... a lone voice before the almighty tribunal of the Committee of Public Safety/Warmaster's Lupercal Court.... and he takes a stand. At least, I hope he will. This Desmoulins. I like Aximand. He should.
But enough 40k rambling. (I am becoming addicted... )

Last night my friend and I decided to make a run to the grocery store at midnight, in cloth jackets, in the pouring rain... it was awesome! So fun - the lights were beautiful, every element reflected in the liquid pavement, the trees shone out from behind cool streetlights like eerie spiderwebs - we actually saw one that was the exact image of a spiderweb, when seen at just the right angle... and wow, it was great! So fun - though the one cashier at the counter looked concerned when he saw us come in, soaking wet, running for the coffee aisle...

I wrapped my Christmas presents! I love wrapping presents... it's one of my favorite things about Christmas. Besides the music. The music is awesome. Though I haven't listened to it a lot yet, because Romeo et Juliette is still consuming my soul... er, ears...

I have a Philosophy final today! I'm up early because I thought it started at 8 am - but in fact, that's my french exam. This one starts at 11. Wait, let me check again... *is paranoid* yep. 11. It's kind of funny... I don't have to take this exam. I have an A in the class - and there's no way not taking the exam could hurt my grade. She said that we don't have to take it, if we're happy with our grade. But that's the thing... even though it's an A, I'm not happy with it. Not because of the letter - I'm happy with that. But because, as I said before... I didn't fulfill everything I was hoping to do in this course. I didn't learn absolutely everything that I could have. So that's what I tried to do in studying all yesterday... and that's what I hope I'll fulfill today at 11. I think I know the material much better, now... I made flash cards all day yesterday - I think about 150 of them - and more for French - flash cards are wonderfu... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10906825/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10906825/ Thu, 30 Nov 2006 20:53:46 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
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Sooo... I SHOULD be doing my papers for tomorrow, but instead I have gotten addicted to internet literature/art/random quizzes... and I now know what circle of hell Dante would relegate me to (7, because of self-grr-ness), what deadly sins I am guilty of (apparently, none) and what my iq is (127) and my type, here:

"Congratulations, Mizamour!
Your IQ score is 127

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results."

Aaaaand then it goes on to tell me if I want the full report, I need to buy it for $12.95. No thanks. But yay! Those quizzes were fun! And I really should do my papers...

...but look! 15 more Les Mis quizzes! Somehow I think I won't be getting to bed early tonight....

And woot! My friend just took it and got 135! He's Plato! Yay!

So, I'm reading the Warhammer 40k novel Galaxy in Flames... and aaaaaaah! They kill Torgaddon! One of my favorite characters!! Why does this always happen... my most favorite characters are killed off by my most favorite authors. Aaaaaah! I need some Loken/Torgaddon fluff now.... But lol - a conversation with my love, just a while ago:

Mizamour: Tell me! What happens! Tellll meeeee!
Emo-Catboy: Well.... *sigh* ...They kill a great character.\
Mizamour: Noooo! Who?
Emo-Catboy: ...Torgaddon.
Mizamour: Nooooooooooooooo! Torgaddon? They can't kill Torgaddon! He's like Mercutio!!! ..... oh, wait.
Emo-Catboy:

Just randomly - I LOVE the little Zeal emoticon! Isn't that the cutest thing you ever saw!!!!!? :zeal:

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member of http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10874390/ Tue, 28 Nov 2006 00:13:38 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
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So, I got off work today, and discovered that I had a gigantic amount of homework. I just finished it... but in the process of researching for school online, I also found a lot of interesting and random stuff. For example... interesting phobias!

Sesquipedalophobia or Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words. (ironic, don't you think...)

Symbolophobia- Fear of symbolism. (there's an excuse for all those too-analytical english classes!)

Verbophobia or Logophobia - Fear of words. (Don't read my journals!)

Xenoglossophobia- Fear of foreign languages. (Nooo french musicals...)

Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat. (... yep, this was actually a definition...)

Ideophobia- Fear of ideas. (I wonder how one got the idea of that one... it must have been frightening, if the person was afflicted... )

Geniophobia- Fear of chins. (?)

Aside from these funny ones I also found some other really interesting ones.... several which could be applied to ocd! As well as this unique number: Counterphobia- The preference by a phobic for fearful situations. Interesting!

Psychology never fails to be endlessly intriguing! I've been wondering if I should minor in it... I really want to minor in theatre, though... but then again, I might want to major in theatre... but I want to major in english... but what if I majored in theatre and minored in english... or psychology... but I can't forget english entirely - it's my passion... but then again, it winds itself into so many different fields anyway... sigh. I don't know. I looked at a course catalog the other day - so many requirements, plans, schedules, setups, tracks, paths... what if I want to take many?

Hmm.... I am confused lately... I am very confused...

I got my *almost* final Philosophy grade today. It's an A... but I'm not happy with it, really. It's not a high A - and to me, it feels like a B. Not that I'm so hung up on the letter - I'm perfectionist, but only to a point. It's just - I can see so many opportunities where I could have studied more, could have learned more, cemented the knowledge in my brain - and instead I studied just enough to get by. A lot, truly - but still, only enough to get an A. Not enough to satisfy all of my desire for real learning. I loved that class. The teacher and material were both amazing - wonderful course! I only wish I had worked more in it... not for the grade, because my grade now is acceptable, but for me - for my learning, my mind, my exploration. I've got the "end result" - the letter grade, and a high one - but there's places I rushed through, areas I could have explored more deeply, delved into more thoroughly. I hope I still can, and do - I don't want to let my philosophy interest drop with the next semester's new courseload. I want to keep exploring knowledge. In many areas. I want to achieve in a way that satisfies me and my values, not just a grade or a course requirement. I've done everything I technically should, and the same nothing I shouldn't, in these classes... but there's more than should and shouldn't involved in this learning. College is a haven of the arts, of the mind, of the soul - let me experience it as one. Wholly. As it should be. I hope I will.

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membe... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10860372/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10860372/ Sun, 26 Nov 2006 18:40:08 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
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So, I'm working on Philosophy. While obsessing over Les Mis, which I've been reading. And I'm procrastinating... just a bit. Naturally, the Mizamis in my head have something to say about all this.

The Slippery Slope Fallacy by Joly: If it rains outside, I will catch cold - and if I catch cold, I will go to the cafe with Boussuet and Grantaire - and if I do that, a little gamin will call us to the barricade where we will all fight and then DIE with only four sentences to dignify our noble martyrdoms - and all because I caught a cold!
(Yes, I am still mad at Hugo - even though I idolize him - because of his all of FOUR SENTENCES about the deaths of Joly, Courfeyrac, Boussuet, Bahorel, and Jehan Prouvaire... this after expounding on the difference between riot and insurrection - which was really interesting, but STILL... *rabble rabble rabble*)

The Appeal to Fear, by Valjean (to 'Parnasse, who happened to be the fortunate target of a ValSermon while trying to rob him) You like fancy clothes and freedom, so you try to rob me, but that will lead to PRISON and DEATH and DOOM and the removal of your beautiful HAIR! So learn this lesson!

The Appeal to the Crowd, by Enjolras: Everyone supports our revolution! So join! *crickets* .... argh, maybe that didn't work. ( Grr on the people of the town... sigh. Support the Revolution - even though it's centuries ago... )

The Personal Attack, by Enjolras again: Your argument against the Revolution is wrong because you're a drunkard! (wargh, poor R...)
And why is it that the moment there's a hint of E/R fluff... they die!? :mad: Noooo!

And my final statement on Mizami philosophy, in the standard form of inductive generalization (okay, just a little biased):

99% of observed writings of Victor Hugo are amazing.
A large percentage of Hugo's writings have been observed.
In all probablility, all of Hugo's writings are amazing.
(except killing Les Amis)

And they really are. Even if his character deaths KILL ME... it's only the sign of a good author. His characters are so awesome no one wants them to die... sigh. But they must, for the story.... ergh.

(Excepting the possibility of the truth of the movie Stranger Than Fiction - because if Les Amis were actually real - I am DEFINITELY mad at Hugo. )

I get involved in books.

In case you can't tell.

Back to philosophy....

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member of http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10849381/ Sat, 25 Nov 2006 20:01:15 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
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So, I'm heading back early tomorrow to college! Whew... only two more weeks til Christmas break, I can't wait! I've had so much fun cooking this week It's funny, but one of the big things I usually miss about home is cooking! I get so many cooking urges in college, which are usually hurriedly checked by desperately asking friends if they would like tea, or almost upsetting the microwave making ramen or powder-potatoes - but that hardly satiates my addiction. I must cook! So when I got home this week, I cooked - and yum, it was fun! I made stuffed shells with a melange of cheeses and spiral of sauce, baked ziti pasta with tofu and lots of yummy spices, salad with cheese and tomatoes, orange rolls... and the occasional macaroni from the box that my sister wanted too. Yay! So my cooking fix is subdued, my family-longing is satisfied (though I want to stay longer, of course), my pets are played with and sufficiently adored, and I'm ready to head back and tackle finals! Whew! I hope I can keep my grade up - I'm going to STUDY like crazy for these. I love my grade now, and want to keep it! And then Christmas break - the wonderful four weeks of wonderful Pierce-time, family love, pet-adoration, and crazy-board-game-fun-ness! Yay! And whew, my cooking-meter is full... ahh. I really relate to that Ana Pascal character.

Which reminds me. I LOVE "Stranger Than Fiction"!!!!! Needless to say, I now am compelled to exercise almost Jainist avertion in my stories - I am never going to kill any characters! Because they're just so lovable. Especially if they're adorable tax-people who bumble around, fall in love, and save kids. Yay! My characters are not that lovable... but I still want to keep them alive. I like them. Except, of course, for Vrakhos. He can maybe die. I don't know if anyone remembers my old Light Borne story, that 11-chapter novel-ish thing I was working on a few years ago and then dropped (and that I REALLY need to pick up again) but there was Vrakhos, my bad guy - and if he happened to walk into my office, searching for his author to avoid being killed off - errr, I think I would first avoid his mace and green-smoke-cloud... and then attribute his death to Robespierre. That seems to work.

And speaking of which - I'm now reading "Fatal Purity," the new biography of Robespierre. And contrary to expectation... I LOVE IT! And before you either collapse from shock at this seemingly dissociative identity that I have developed that actually likes Robespierre, or laughingly attribute it to the fact that the book is French Revolution, and I like anything French Revolution (okay, so you have a point there ) the reason why I like this book is different even from those. The author... is OBJECTIVE. Very objective! But not so objective as to be boring - not dissociated at all! She is intimately connected with the details of Robespierre's life - but she neither villainizes or idolizes him. S... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10815595/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10815595/ Wed, 22 Nov 2006 19:40:56 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography
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So YAY! I'm home now! I finally got to see my love (at last!!!) and have been having so much fun playing with my little sister, talking with my mom, spending time with my love, and just hanging around and doing regular home-stuff here!!! Yay! No place like home. And woot - here til Sunday!

The car ride up was interesting! Four college kids, one up front and three crammed in the back - me in the middle, as the smallest, knees up to the chest because of the raised middle floor of the car, all of us listening to various music (friend's mom, classical, one friend, rap, me and other friend, 90s rock and french music). It was great! But I'm glad to be uncramped. 5 hours! Whew!

So, it's strange - I have three recurring dreams which I have almost every night - sometimes as three different dreams, sometimes all three themes together in one. They are:

1. I am the age I am now, but everyone mistakes me to be at least four years younger than I am now - especially in groups.

2. I am taking care of a kid or kids, and somehow we get in trouble (sometimes through my fault, stumbling into trouble, or sometimes just through circumstance - a hurricane, etc. I am trying to help them get out - sometimes I succeed, sometimes not.

3. I am in a play, either a musical, straight play, or other performance, and am organizing it all - if not the whole thing, then a significant part of it. I work tirelessly to get everything done - and then, in the middle of the play, realize I am also in it, as an actor - and I have not memorized my lines.

I'm confused... I know these have got to mean something - they're too recurring, detailed, and significant-seeming not to - but I can't quite catch what they're telling me. Any insights?

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving!!!!! On that note - HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Some things I am especially thankful for, this year:

My wonderful home with my awesomely assertive and fun lil sis and strong, inspirational mom! And of course, I can't forget - the absolutely adorable pets!!! Yay Ranger and Sapphire and Pumpkin and Dominique and Jean-Javert!

My amazing group of friends! I can't name all my awesome friends here, who are all beautiful and incredible, but let me just mention a few, those in our awesome college posse -
Tin Man, Scarecrow, and Lion - or
Benvolio, Mercutio, and Macduff (it's the beard) - or
Kenshin, Beetlejuice, and Excel - or
Raxa, Carn, and Seannan - or
Combeferre, Grantaire, and Boussuet - or
A-chan, wickedlyweird, and demoneyes - or
Jackie, Steph, and Tim - the most awesome friends anyone could have! Yep, we have a lot of identities - as you can see above They are all amazing, unique, fun, and fantastical - and our dorm-hanging-out-randomness and Harris-Teeter runs and WoW addictiveness and Miyizaki marathons and YouTube randomness and study sessions and eBay trials and song-annoyances and comedy-rambles - this is what college fun is made of - and I love it. And you guys make it that way!

Also - my classes. It seems odd - but co... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10789886/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10789886/ Mon, 20 Nov 2006 14:22:10 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography

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I do need a break. Three days = five long papers. This is not a formula for relaxation. Waaa! And more to come... I cannot wait for break on Wednesday! But I am getting all As! So that's good... whew. But on a happier note:

I want to thank everyone who just commented on my page or photos!!! Thank you so much, and I really appreciate it - and the favs and features too! I'm honored and thank you all sooo much! Wow - the other day I got 183 pageviews in that one day! That's the most I think I've ever gotten in a day in my whole time on the site! Yay!

So - anyone read Journey to the East? I'm reading it for Leadership class. It's very good, but the ending annoys me... the Council forgives him for the things he's been angsting about for the entire book - and then, before he's had any time to relax and NOT worry - they pile on a gigantic load of OTHER things that they say he did wrong. Grr. Grr on the Council. But Leo and HH are destined to be together... I can find proof in canon! I really can! ....

Wow, this journal is entirely random and not at all well-written. I need to write another when I'm not sleep-deprived. Meh. And I should go to work now. I need to sleeeep! But instead I need to write two more papers. Before tomorrow. And apparently that will trump sleep. Unfortunately.

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member of http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10622005/ Sun, 05 Nov 2006 07:04:37 PST [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography

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Wow! Wow....

I think someone just bought me a one-year subscription! It was just about to run out... but now it says I'm subscribed til 2007!

Wow!!!! Could whoever did this awesome thing step forward so I can thank you profusely? Wow! Thanks soooo much - I really, really, really, really appreciate it!

Thank you!!!!!!!

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member of http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10540693/ Sat, 28 Oct 2006 18:47:40 PDT [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! *MusicalPhotography

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I've been trying to post this Jack-O-Lantern picture that I took, and love - but I've tried three times, and dA won't let me. Hmm... :/

So wow - I just went to the Haunted House on campus. The CAB group put it on, and while their stuff is usually awesome, I was kind of unsure about this one - before I went in, that is. You know, it's a college haunted house, with limited resources - there's only so much they could do, right? I was prepared for a fun - but probably not too scary - ride. Which was good! But wow.... I don't want to be cliched, but I was definitely in for a surprise. I went in, with one of my friends and three other people, and we were ushered in by a demented--looking Alice In Wonderland, who explained that we were about to be taken on a tour through the mansion of a murdered family. We walked through the maze, walls smudged every now and then with a disturbing image or odd substance, and then the tour guide - completely unexpectedly - was snatched into the backdrop by silent hands. Our group was left in the middle of the maze, pretty confused - this haunted house really was like a maze! The student center had never seemed so big before. So we advanced (a lot slower than before) through the house, assaulted every now and then by a swiveling, porcelain-faced figure or raving creature, which usually sent us giggling and screaming back towards another wall, where another creature would grab one of us. That was one of the scary things about this haunted house - the actors would actually grab you! In the professional ones, the Universal Studios and all that, they can't do that - and that gives both assurance and a certain cynicism. They can't go beyond this and such line... they can't scare beyond a certain measurement. But here, it was different! I was almost tackled by a wild creature, clasped suddenly and swiftly around the ankle by a still coffin... the lid was closed, and we stood there for a bit, expecting someone to jump out - they didn't, so we moved on - but that was when hands came out of the bottom, grabbing at our feet! Eep! So we went on to the next room. In each room, the opening to go to the next was very small, such that only one person could pass at a time. No one wanted to be the first or last, really - but the actors, defying convention, grabbed or scared or roared at one in the middle! So it was totally unexpected - and completely unable to be controlled. That probably was one of the scariest things about it - the actors' manipulation of people's uncertainty. We were left in the dimness, without a guide - given a door, and nothing to see beyond it - offered instructions, and no way to know whether following them would avoid or cause a scare - filed into order, and then grabbed out of line. While this was a fun haunted house, and the actors utilized this psychology masterfully to create the full experience, the real principles that they used truly are frightening - the manipulation of one's uncertainty. Not just fear of the unknown - not fear of not knowing, for that at least has some certainty - you know, as Socrates said, that you do not know. But instead, this is not knowing if you do not know, or if you do - and that either way, something could happen completely at random - caused by what you do, or what you do not. It's the unpredictable and the uncertain working in tandem... the creation of a microcosm where the rules always change and you can never know what to do, what to change or what to leave be. And that, more than fear of death, fear of danger, pain, even fear of the unknown - is the ultimate horror of the human spirit. To have effect on things - but never to know whether it will bring about good or bad, and each with an equal chance. The inability to predict, or even to guess - and the ultimate necessity of decision, pressed upon you no matter what - you must act, or not act, but each is an action. And what will that action bring about? You can never tell - for the rules always change.

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Comment? ^^ I'll do the same for you if you repost in your journal!

Mizamour is ______.
Mizamour thinks a lot about ______.
When I think of Mizamour, I think of ________.
I want Mizamour to ________ me.
If I were in a room with Mizamour, I would _______.
I think Mizamour should _____.
_______ reminds me of Mizamour.
Mizamour needs ______.
I want to ____________ Mizamour.
If I could describe Mizamour in a word: _______.
Mizamour will never ______
Mizamour can ______ my _______.
I hope Mizamour never _____.
I _____ Mizamour because _______.

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member of http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10491034/ Mon, 23 Oct 2006 19:01:39 PDT [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! =MusicalPhotography

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So, the amazing got this awesome assignment in a class - to write 100 words about herself, all in only monosyllabic words! Seeing hers, I had to try it myself - sounds fun! Here goes...

I'm not sure I know what to write here... I guess I'll talk on my day. I thought I would eat when I got up, but went to get out of bed and my eyes fell on a great book! I had to read it, of course - and so I did, til my class time. We had lots of work to do for the test that's soon. I heard a speech in my next class, on a knight that fights a beast of green. Next, I took notes and ate lunch; went to meet my club and stage watch for the show. We will try out the run through next week. At night, I went to work and then did the rest of the work for my class that is on the next day. Now I am tired and should sleep - but I might end up with a book yet once more - it's all the fault of Anne Rice.

Wow, that sounded so completely unlike me... I'm so used to talking in regular words, this exercise seemed almost alien! Writing now freely, it feels like my mind's burst out of a net, some constraining soft cage in which it shut itself. There's so much you can't say, in monosyllables... but on the other hand, while inhibiting the expression of thought, it makes its conveyance of the essence of actions so much simpler... it's untainted by complicated emotion, untouched by connecting analysis. Interesting... hmm.

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Wow! What a day! For me, the day started at 1:00 in the morning, when my friend realized she needed a book for her class tomorrow - and it was late, so all the libraries were closed! So, of course, being caffienated and sleepy-energetic, we set out to find it! We tried the literature building, and all the doors were locked but one, which we found when we went around the back - the door to the football locker room! An all-new security system - locked doors for some, gym sock odor for the rest! A fan wafted the smell around the closed room, throwing waves of sweaty gym clothes-smells at us - but we beat the smell, and got through! It was a bit of a maze getting through the athletic department and into the lit building, but we eventually did - only to find that the play we wanted was not in the free book section, where I thought it had been! We searched around campus a little more, asking the people who were still awake if they had a copy, but no one did - so, we turned to the Internet. I seriously think I looked up 30 lit search sites - and could not find the text ANYWHERE. Not even as an e-book, which I was willing to buy at this point. Finally, at around 2:30, we went to bed, still not having found it - BUT when we woke up the next morning, her class had been canceled! So she had time to get it! So that was the midnight adventure. Then today, I got up early (very hard after staying up til 2:30 - I was ready to smash my alarm clock) and went to class, then to the SGA event, a political panel for which (as Historian) I was taking pictures. It ran from 1:30-5:30, in which time I got... 300 pictures. Really! That was fun... but wow, I'm tired. This evening I have a meeting and a play to write a review on for the newspaper... I can't wait for the play! It's Aida - amazing amazing amazing musical... wow! I can't wait to see it!

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member of ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10436582/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10436582/ Wed, 18 Oct 2006 16:48:14 PDT [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! =MusicalPhotography

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Hey all!

So, my print account is being weird right now... it let me submit one, and now is not letting me submit any more... it just loads for forever and then cuts off. So I'm going to keep working with it, but for now, I also have a new page - [link]

Check it out! I have t-shirts, mugs, prints, etc - they may not be loaded yet, but if they're not, just check back in a day or so and they'll be there. Also, if there's a specific picture you want to see up there, just let me know, and I'll post it for sale! Thanks all for all your support!

-Miz

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member of http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10421591/ Tue, 17 Oct 2006 09:34:16 PDT [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! =MusicalPhotography

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Sigh... so, you know how I was translating the Dracula french musical, that I love? I gave the lyrics to my french teacher (he's awesome) to review, if he had time, and correct my mistakes, maybe? I tried hard for there to not be any, but I knew there would be some. And he did - yay! But.... I really screwed up in translation. Not only did I not catch the meaning in the sense that the words were in, I took way too many liberties with the text. See, I was trying to translate it (for fun) syllabically - much like the english translator of Notre-Dame de Paris did, with the words still matching in syllable and rhyme, but meaning essentially the same thing. Only I didn't want to do it exactly like he did... some of his translations were a bit too literal, so the sound didn't come out right ("cathedraaaales v. catheeeeeeedrles"), or so off that it was kind of ridiculous (Etre Pretre et Aimer La Femme v. Oh I'm A Priest and I Love This Girl ) I really wanted to avoid that. Only problem is.... I didn't. I took "ciel" in a literal sense when the author meant a heavenly sense... I messed up a political song because I translated it in the American-perception sense... how it made sense to me... I changed a few lines so they'd fit better... not to mention the other errors. I really messed up. I love translating - it's exciting, interesting, fun, especially with a work I love so much as this musical - I respect it deeply - but the problem is, in taking these unintended liberties, I showed disrespect for the work that I absolutely love! In translating it, I was trying to respect it... but I ended up dragging it in the mud of my ignorance. I have a lot to learn. I still want to keep translating, but I'm daunted by the task... it's not as it seemed at first. Of course, I'm just translating as a fun thing, for me - so I guess there'll be no copyright people or purists hunting me down, angry at my desecration of the true work... but still, I feel like I let it down. It's such a great musical... I don't want to mess it up.

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member of http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10372401/ Thu, 12 Oct 2006 18:05:58 PDT [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! =MusicalPhotography

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I don't know what I'm doing!!!!

I just talked to my love, on the phone, tonight. We're a long way away from each other, and miss each other terribly... and we really want to visit. I saw him just a week ago, and it was absolutely awesome, but it only makes me miss him more now. His birthday is this month... we wanted to visit. He said he could visit, sometime this month. But... I'm volunteering. Every single weekend for the rest of the month and more! I love volunteering - I get to help out with so many amazing causes - community outreach, animal welfare, art festival, teaching, advertising, etc... but I've packed so much into my schedule. I have homework, papers, tons of clubs and events, and volunteering and newspaper... I've loved being busy, but now - I'm not going to be able to see my love - on his birthday - when he had planned and finally been able to come here - and I had to turn him down. He'd told me about it before - it wasn't a spur-of-the-moment thing. But I'd said yes to all the volunteer work before, scheduled it, wrote it down - it just hadn't registered fully in my brain as NOW. Until he called. And I realized my life is full up for over a month. I need time! Today I had an hour between events, so I wandered around campus, and took pictures... it was amazing! So meditative... wandering around, with that gorgeous evening half-light, all quiet and pretty, the whole nature-scene itself like living music - it was amazing! I need more of that time... and I want to be there for my love, and the others whom I love. I love volunteering, and I love being busy, but I love alone-time too, and time wtih my loved ones. Sigh...

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member of http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10282380/ Wed, 04 Oct 2006 13:15:11 PDT [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! =MusicalPhotography

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It's funny the things you think of, when working a long shift... like how much the dishwasher reminds you of a car wash, one of those huge ones that you always wanted to put your HotWheels cars in and watch it go through all those cycles...

When I was little
I would play with cars
Spinning chrome wheels
Lightning gold streaks
Flashing mirrors
Put them in the car wash, press the green button
(We always loved the green one best, it meant go
Motion
Action
Start)
And then the journey begins
Flip
Under paper fringe cloths
Turn
Over rhythmic orange disks
Shine
Out of droplet-clean sprays

When I was older
I would work with carts
Spinning wheel plates
Lightly streaked spoons
Flashing mirrored trays
Put them in the dish wash, press the red button
(for we stop to put soap in, it means clean
Fine
Ready
But not yet there)
And then the cycle continues
Flip
The cloth over silver-fringed forks
Turn
The dial under heat-smelling steams
Shine
Out of discoloured streams

It seems so different now, but
When you were younger
Now that you're older
And things are the same but more heavy
Slower
Farther
needing Order
Wouldn't you still like, both now and back then
To have such
a grand
Car
Wash?

Besides the random poem-scraps that go through my head and eventually come out in something like the above (I need to write them somewhere, they were driving me crazy yesterday as soon as I made the comparison, yelling "write me down - now!", there's also all the song-pieces, like bits of the Pink Panther theme (yep, now it's stuck in your head ) and Phantom of the Opera and Dracula... yay! And when you're standing like this, trying to both remember and subdue (for now) writing-scraps and song-choruses, staring at something or other which is usually moving, other weird things come to your mind. Like this:

I was looking at the little plate-holder arches - you know, the ones you put the dishes between so they'll stand up in the dishwasher? They just cycle through the washer continually, always moving backwards, the holes looking like little eyes, plastic Easter-Peeps stuck to the conveyor belt and cycling forever behind them, ten in a row... and I kept thinking, what if one of them started a revolution? If they were sentient, if they actually could think, I imagine they would be awake only in the brief period that they're on top, carrying the dishes - when they cycle under, they would go into sleep, a sort of hibernation, until they moved up again to be used at the top. They probably would continue in this pattern for a while, but sooner or later, one might wake up, in the brief few seconds that he's carrying a dish, and think: "Why am I doing this?"
In the next cycle (though it might take a few), he might remember what he questioned, and think: "What can I do about it?"
After that, he might think how he could break free... maybe stretch a bit, position the dishes in such a way that it wore away one or two of the bits that connect him to the dishwasher itself... and then he could rally his comrades. "Come, my friends! How long are we to be served the dish-meals of our own servitude? How long will we wait, cycling under and over only to repeat the same, over and over again? How long will we endure the hostile weather of too-hot dishwater rains, when just outside this place, there is cool air and a solid foundation under our feet? No, my friends, we cannot! We must rise up! Escape from the autocratic dishwasher! Vive la revolution!
And eventually they would, and the dishwasher would break. And that's the real explanation for the formerly unexplained dishwasher problems we've been having!

This... ]]> ~Mizamour http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10229978/ http://Mizamour.deviantart.com/journal/10229978/ Fri, 29 Sep 2006 20:13:27 PDT [link] Appreciating lyrics through the art of the lens! =MusicalPhotography

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WOW.

Guess what just came to the theatre at my university... my own university!?

JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR! With the original Jesus from the movie production, Ted Neeley, and the original Mary Magdelene from the original Broadway Cast!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

As soon as I walked into the theatre, I knew it was going to be amazing! On stage was a dark, sharply blue-lit structure, slender ramp arcing across the scene, complete with the essential "He is DAN-ger-ous"-columns, and a light-spattered floor streaked with the grainy patterns of backlit amplifiers. Pre-show music played very low, just a slight, almost imperceptible hint of what was to come. We had a bit of a scramble trying to find our seats (people switching around, my friend and I trying to get seats together, a very adamant usher showing me that, in fact, my seat was on the second level, not the first - I didn't know) but after a while, we all found our places, and the play began.

Have you seen this show? If you haven't, it's hard to imagine what takes place at the first chords of music, soaring guitar arcing through the beams, light spreading from the corner of the stage to reveal an exquisitely mimed opening conflict. Having only seen the movie version, where the opening includes unloading a bus, I wasn't prepared for their version - and found it absolutely awesome! This scene set the tone for the rest of the play, a dark, intense fight alleviated at the height of conflict by the appearance of a benevolent Jesus, benediction-brushed hands hovering just over the violent tension, softening faces and the stark angles of raw emotion.

Throughout the play, this presentation of Jesus continued, though as it progressed, it became apparent just how much it cost to be the bringer of peace... the calm-spreading hands soothed pain of others while all his own suppressed emotion compressed itself into an almost-implosion of central force. This intensity burned in the actor throughout the play, given outlet (made even more powerful by its rarity) in the alternating scenes of his solitude, where the crowd has dispersed and the lights darken on the scene, revealing the shadowed inner soliloquy of this charismatic soul.

In great contrast, all the emotions and thoughts of the ever-passionate Judas were thrown dramatically onto the stage, raw and still-burning in a colourful inversion of the inner mind's broodings. Where Jesus's tension concentrated itself in a simmering core, ever-intense on the verge of implosion, Judas's emotion exploded violently onto the stage, hurling writhing spirit and turmoil wracked on the ground.

The characters were nothing if not amazing... in complexity as well as expression, in enthusiastic movement as well as tense energy. The ensemble was exceptional... each person played their role with singular character-interpretation and verve. The disciples were especially striking - the impulsive-intense Peter, deeply loyal but urgence-driven... the zealous Simon, who played his role uniquely in his adaptation of his violent revolution-craving whenever he spoke to Jesus... unlike many of the other Simon actors, very Enjolras-esque in their forever-revolutionarism, this Simon kept his purpose, but adapted his presentation depending on the other characters to which he spoke. To the masses, he was the charismatic exhorter, stirring the crowd into a fraternity of frenzied action-readiness, while to Jesus, he spoke more softly, moderately, recognizing the latter's unwelcomeness to war and fighting.... to each, he spoke how he thought they would best respond. A Desmoulins, almost... this Simon's portrayal was throroughly unique.

The production's Annas, surprisingly, was a recent college-grad of a musical-theatre program. He dove into his role with singular relish, singing his deceptively smooth lines with finesse and enjoyment. His foil Caiaphas was also incredible, with mastery of the extremely difficult range required of the part, stretching from deep, gravelly bass intonation to vibrant tenor.

I had brought my camera, just the little one (I knew there was no way they would let me through with my big camera), slipped into my jacket, and I actually managed... ]]> ~Mizamour