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]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/18986947/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/18986947/ Sun, 22 Jun 2008 16:52:09 PDT
]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/18086544/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/18086544/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:21:40 PDT [x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily. =_=
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[x] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x]I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.
[ ] I hate my dad.
[ ] I hate my mom.
[x] I have a brother.
[x] I have a sister.
[ ] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[ ] I want to have kids someday/ I want to adopted, that's it.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.
[x] I'm in school.
[x] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job.
[ ] I've been fired.
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've had my pants rip in public.
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[x] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[x] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chickenpox
[ ] I was born in a different country.
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[x] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
[ ] I've gotten lost in my city
[ ] I've seen a shooting star.
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts
[ ] I've been to a casino
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one day
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing.
[ ] I've been in a play
[x] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone *O*... *loves to do it*
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[/] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.
[ ] I'm single.
[x] I'm in a relationship.
[/] I'm engaged. (almostmightaswellbe)
[ ] I'm married.
[x] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship (such as gifts, love-letters, plushies, etc)
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I'm bi.
[ ] I'm gay.
[x] I've had sex.
[ ] I've had phone sex.
[x] I've cybered.
[ ] I've had sex in public.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain <3
[ ] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months. ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15818944/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15818944/ Thu, 06 Dec 2007 09:42:20 PST
01.] What is your pen name?
... Moenokori? ...Overlordess of...Exclamation Points and Ellipses?

02.] What made you choose this name?
It's based off a nickname.

03.] Do you use PC or Mac?
PC. Macs are perverted.

04.] What programs do you use most often?
Firefox, Microsoft Word, Photoshop

05.] Do you use mouse, or tablet?
Mouse

06.] What color or color combinations do you find yourself using most often?
Black-and-white

07.] What part of a picture do you put most effort into?
The editing.

08.] How long does it take you do draw a picture?
Heh - well, when I actually do draw a picture....I'm really not sure. Maybe I should draw one and find out? I'm more of a photographer.

09.] Do you keep your rough drafts?
Sometimes.

10.] What font do you use most often?
It really depends on the artwork.

11.] When you scan your image, what DPI do you use?
I don't generally scan my images.

12.] Do you do anything else when you're drawing?
Listen to music, "watch" movies or TV Shows....

13.] Approximately how many pictures do you draw in a month?
0

14.] What kind of paper do you draw your pictures on?
Um....normal paper?

15.] What kind of paper do you use for rough sketches and drafts?
again...normal paper?

16.] How long does it take you to ink something?
Depends on my mood

17.] Do you do comics, or fan comics?
Nope

18.] Do you like comics? Are they fun to make?
They're cool to read. I suck at making them.

19.] Have you ever submitted anything to a magazine?
Nope

20.] Did it get published?
Nope

21.] Who are your favorite artists?
Geez, I can't even begin to decide.

22.] Do you like anime/manga? If so, what are your favorite series?
YES!!!! YES!!!!! Anime? Toooo many. Manga - Ouran High School Host Club, Bleach, Chobits...

23.] Do you like cartoons/comics? If so, what are your favorite series?
Teen Titans, Code Lyoko, Looney Tunes, Pink Panther, Totally Spies, Foster's Home of Imaginary Friends

24.] Any artists that you wish you could draw like?
Any who make my favorite anime.

25.] Do you read a lot of books?
YES! I'm reading.....5 books right now, I think.

26.] Did you ever buy a book to inspire or teach you to draw?
Yes.

27.] Any video games you enjoy?
Guitar Hero, DDR, CTR, Spyro, Fable

28.] Any favorite characters from video games?
Coco Bandicoot

29.] Do you have a favorite writer?
Too many.

30.] Any books you really enjoy?
Too many!

31.] Do you draw fanart?
Sometimes

32.] Do you listen to music while you draw?
Yes!

33.] Any recommended songs?
Note me

34.] Any other art websites that you really enjoy?
Ummm....photobucket?

35.] Are there any websites that you go to everyday?
DeviantArt, Facebook, MySpace, Hotmail, GaiaOnline, YahooMail, FictionPress....

36.] What is your dream website like?
O____O Wait... Whut?

37.] Do you like your own art?
sometimes

38.] What do you enjoy watching on television?
CSI:Vegas, Gilmore Girls, Criminal Minds, House MD, etc....

39.] Favorite celebrity?
urm....

40.] Favorite color?
Silver, Black, White, Blue, Red

41.] Favorite food?
Um...

42.] Favorite drink?
Water? Lemonade?

43.] Do you like to go shopping? If yes, where? And for what?
Yes! Clothes, books, music, anime, manga, movies, etc...

44.] Can you cook?
Yes

45.] Any devices you use often for email? Any electronic pets?
O_O?

46.] Are you tech-savvy?
I know enough to be dangerous

47.] Do you want to become a professional artist?
Maybe

48.] Are there any other jobs you're interested in?
Music. Psychology. Writing.

49.] Any other hobbies or skills besides drawing?
Writing, photography, playing harp, etc...

50.] Do you like to watch movies?
YES!

51.] What's your favorite movie?
Too many!!!! O.O;

52.] Have you ever entered an art contest, here at DeviantART or otherwise?
Yes

53.] When... ]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15789600/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15789600/ Tue, 04 Dec 2007 07:06:25 PST

We thought it was over
all the self-inflicting pain. I thought so, too.
But now, with his help, I've seen that the only person I'm hurting is myself.
No matter how honest I am with you, it won't change a thing.
The only thing that has changed between us is this; you are no longer my mother.
I will not call you "mom" anymore.
Being a mother is a privilege. Not a right.
You're not my mom anymore. Sarah's my mom.

So stop trying to talk to me. Stop following me. Stop trying to "fix things." Stop. Just stop.

I don't love you anymore. Goodbye.

------------------------------------------


Asian Quiz


[ ] Are you asian in the first place? (I have caucasian-itis)
[ ] Were you born in an asian country?
[ ] Do YoU tYpE lIkE tHiS aLoT?
[ ] Do you eat rice almost every single day?
[x] Can you use chopsticks?
[ ] Have you taken chinese/korean/etc school as a kid?
[ ] Can you speak an asian language?
[x]Do you spike(guys)/highlight(girls) your hair?
[ ] Do you have an "azn crew"?
[x] Do you get at least a 3.0 gpa?

Total: 3


[x] Have you designed a website b4?
[ ] Do you know the song "got rice?"
[x] Do your sns/email have/had the words: AzN, gurl, boy, sweet, cute, hot, dragon, babe, angel, lil, princess, Xx...xX, oO..Oo, etc?
[ ] Do you take off your shoes before entering someone's house?
[ ] You have both an asian and an english name
[x] Do you watch anime?
[/] Do you listen to techno? (not really... but occasionally)

Total: 3.5


[xxxx] Do you listen to asian music?
[x] Have you watched asian movies?
[x] Can you talk really fast??
[ ] Do you drink pearl milk tea or bubble tea?
[x] Do you play a lot of computer games. ( PC games)
[ ] Are you a master at DDR?
[x] Do you play the violin/piano/clarinet?
[ ] Do your parents beat you up if you get bad grades?
[ ] Do you/your parents drive an asian made car?

Total: 5


[x] Do you draw?
[ ] Do you speak ur asian language w/ ur friends?
[ ] Do your relatives own a restaurant/market in an asian community?
[ ] Do you slurp soup?
[x] Do you know what kimchee is?
[ ] Have you visited your home country (Asia) at least once?
[ ] Does your house smell like incense once in awhile?
[xx] Do you have/had glasses or braces? (Both!)
[x] Do you like to read?
[] Do you have an allowance?

Total: 5


[x] Have you eaten dim sum/dumplings before?
[x] Do you have tons of cousins/siblings/uncles/aunts/etc
[ ] Can you twirl a pencil between your fingers
[ ] Have you ever solved a rubric's cube? (Hate those things. Why do people torture themselves with them?)
[x] Do you read manga?
[/] Is the mall your hang out place?
[x] Do you think that you're short?
[ ] Do you/your parents save ketchup pckts/napkins/etc from restaurants for "later use"?
[ ] Do you have asian pride?

Total: 4.5

Overall total: 21/46

45.65% Asian. HAH!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15559563/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15559563/ Mon, 19 Nov 2007 06:51:38 PST I thought it was over
I thought he was over; so were we
The thought of him no longer
Sending me mentally reeling
And yet she follows close
Biting at my heels without knowing it
And I try to lose her, slip away
Then we're talking, without saying anything
Until this morning and I see her
I see the look in her eyes and know
It's her and she's with him now
With him, but so far away
All in all I'm glad to say, I don't
want him anymore. I don't miss him.
I don't him wrapping his arms around me
Or the way he kissed me, held me, loved me
Or the way he cheated and didn't challenge
Didn't try to save what we were back then
And now it's over, long gone, and I've washed
His hands and his memory off me
And I no longer get fucked up about it
I don't lurk in the shadows; praying he'll take me
I don't want that or him anymore; that's the truth.
But as for her...I don't know what to think
Only time will tell; our words will, too.



For now I'm Alice [Ayres],waiting
I'm Plain Jane hoping for the best
And the Closer we get, the farther it feels
This distance between the one I wish for
The one I want to hold close, and be one with
It's him I hope for, but haven't even touched
And I know people shake their heads at me,
But I don't care what they think or say.
I don't care that they know about him and how I feel
About him and how a simple word from him
Makes me smile like I never knew how
How he's changed me and made a difference
And when I talk to him, I want to be better
I want to smile and laugh and love
I've changed, and we've changed, and it's for the best.
And other than the distance, I wouldn't have it any other way...
If only I could call him my own...my love.


edit:: Stolen from n_n

Lets see... If I remember correctly, I have to use google image and pick one result from the first page.

1. The age you will be on your next birthday: [[link]

2. A place you'd like to travel: [[link]

3. Your favorite place: [[link]

4. Your favorite object: [[link]

5. Your favorite food: [[link]

6. Your favorite animal: [[link]

7. Your favorite color: [[link]

8. The town in which you were born: [[link]

9. The town in which you live: [[link]

10. The name of a past pet: [[link]

11. The first name of a past love: [[link]

12. Your nickname/screen name: [[link]

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15517027/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15517027/ Thu, 15 Nov 2007 06:49:39 PST
The Basics
What's your name? :: Tricia
Birthplace :: California, USA
Age :: 20
Age you act :: Depends
Current location :: Kansas, USA
Eye color :: Lately my eyes have been a slate blue...I rather like it.
Hair color :: Dark brunette with red highlights
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? :: Ambidextrous in some things - righty most of the time...
Zodiac sign? :: Libra


Describe...

Your heritage/nationality :: Cherokee, German, Sioux, Welsh
Your hair :: Um...it's shoulder-length? And I'm growing it out again. ^_^
Your fears :: Clowns, snakes, insects, heights, drowning
Your perfect room :: Heh - it'd take too long to describe.
What you practically do in a day :: Work, chill out/write/listen to music/watch anime, work, shower, get cute, hang out, sleep.


What is/are...

Words you overuse :: Cool, awesome, neat, sweet, etc...
Phrases you overuse :: I dunno. How are you? What's up?
Your first thought when you wake up :: Grrrr....want more sleep
Your greatest accomplishment :: Um?
Something you want to do :: Go back to college.


This or that

Pepsi or Coke :: Pepsi
McDonald's or Burger Kings :: If I have to choose...
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera :: Christina
Chocolate or vanilla :: Chocolate
Adidas or Nike :: Adidas, I guess.
Black or white :: Black
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) :: Bills
Egypt or France :: France
Rock or rap :: Rock ._.


Do you...

Smoke :: no
Sing well :: you tell me.
Sing in the shower :: all the time
Believe in yourself :: sometimes
Play an instrument :: Si. A couple.
Want to get married? :: eventually
Want to have children? :: Not really
Think you're a health freak? :: depends
Think you're popular ::


In the past month have you..

Drank alchohal :: nope
Smoke :: nope
Get high :: oO?? no
Done any drugs :: ._. oh please!
Eaten an entire box of oreos :: I wish..
Been on stage :: Sorta
Been dumped :: nope
Dyed your hair :: Nope. Someone else did it for me. n_n
Stolen anything :: nope


Your friends!

Craziest :: Jordan
Loudest :: my brother
Most shy :: Emerald
Blondest :: Sara
Smartest :: Ryan
Kindest :: Dad
Best personality :: Ryan
Most talented :: Jeremy
Best singer :: Not sure.
Drama Queen :: Sara
Funniest :: Ryan
Best person for advice :: Ryan
Dependable :: Dad
Trustworthy :: Dad
Most likely to end up in jail :: Haha!! Um...Jordan, I guess.
Person you've known the longest :: Dad


The Last...

Last dream :: I would rather
Last nightmare :: not repeat it
Car ride :: Last night
Last time you cried :: It's been a little while.
Last movie seen :: I see movies everyday
Last book read :: All the way through? Stardust. The last book I've spent time reading was Good Omen
Last word said :: "Life"
Last curse word said :: f*ck
Last time you laugh :: Last night while watching AFV
Last phone call :: Missed call? Sara. Last call made? Dad.
Last person you hugged :: Dad
Last person you yelled at :: Sara....but it wasn't really yelling...more of a friendly you-know-you-really-should-work-on-this kinda thing
Last time you wore a skirt :: ummm...
Last time you've been evil :: Heh. Always evil.
Sarcastic? :: Today.
Last time you fought with your parents :: Whenever my mother and I talk, we fight. Dad and I haven't ever really fought.
Last time you wished upon a star :: No idea
Played Truth or Dare :: ._. never did.
Spent quality time alone :: Last weekend


Randomness

Do you feel lonely :: Yes.
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? :: *headshot*
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? :: hmmm.. Maybe.
Any secret fetishes? ::
Do you like to wear chains? No
How many languages do you speak? :: Fluently? One. A little of? French. I really need to start relearning it, too...

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15434561/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15434561/ Fri, 09 Nov 2007 13:14:19 PST The kind that rip your soul in two
Too much has been exposed
By myself
And you
And her
One of those moments where I want to be like Alice
Look tearfully at you
And say
"Just take my picture"
And for once see what you see
And understand why you put up with me like you do
It's things like this that make me keep loving you
And hoping that maybe someday I'll have my chance
To spend forever wondering what it would be like
that would kill.
As one person said,
"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hoped to give you forever."
Sure, we make each other mad,
but it's those times in between
where we get to know each other even more
that's what keeps us
As silly as it sounds, I'll do whatever it takes
Even if it's just for a day, a night, an hour, or a moment.
If nothing else, to end the wondering...
'Though I'm not sure if it fills your mind as it does mine...
Although you said something once, that has played itself over
and over in my head.
"So there it is, that's what bothers me so damn much, and that's why I've got to fight with you everytime we start getting close because I'll start getting into it only to realize that I'm setting myself up to be hurt."
Yes, it does hurt us...but in a way, it almost makes this passion I feel for you that much stronger.
I know I'm an absolute pain-in-the-ass, and my insecurity and how self-centered I am get under your skin, but I will change - it'll probably take a long time (fortunately, time is something we have a lot of before this even begins to become a possibility), but I will continue to work on myself, and hopefully, someday, we'll fit.
Sure, we'll always have our rough edges, but between you and I, if you want this, I'm in. I am all in.
I can't believe it's taken me since July 19th to say this, but there it is.


Now, if only I could say that to you without you thinking I've gone crazy.

-----------------------------------------------------------


You find your way back down.
And I'll keep the area clear...please clear the area.
When you find your way back down...in one piece.
Then I'll just be waiting here...right here.

Slowly...darling...nobody means anymore to me than you
If you're in...baby then I'm in (into this)...with you, always.
Careful...close to the edge...(You're scaring me)
Fall in to my arms....(where did it all fall?)
Fall...into love...love...

-Imogen Heap

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15396524/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15396524/ Tue, 06 Nov 2007 18:21:01 PST
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you said? "Uhn.....tired...."

2. When is the next time you will make out? Haha! How should I know?

3. What's a word that rhymes with "LUCK"? Duck.

4. What's your favorite planet? Pluto.

5. Who's the 4th person on your missed calls list? Dad

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? Not sure. I don't really like any of them.

7. What shirt are you wearing right now? An oliver green DC hoodie and a white v-necked T-shirt

8. What do you "label" yourself as? Odd

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing? Blasphemyyy! ...I don't wear shoes inside the house >____>

10. Bright or dark room? Rather dark than bright

11. What do you think about the person who last took the survey? Rimfrost is INCREDIBLE!!!

12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on? The one furthest from the door

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say? Not sure.

15. What just so happens to be the best song in the world? Not sure.

16. What's a word or phrase that you say a lot? Shaddup

17. Who told you they loved you last? Emerald

18. Last furry thing you touched? ummm...

19. How many drugs have you done in the past 3 days? None

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? A couple, but they're probably too old.

21. Favorite age you have been so far? Hmmm...dunno

22. Your worst enemy? My face and hair in the morning >___<

23. What is your current desktop picture? I don't have a desktop. :-p

24. What is the last thing you said to someone? "Cows"

25. Do you love someone? Yes

26. Last song you listened to? Not sure.

27. If the last person you spoke to on the phone was getting shot at what would you do? I'd go to wherever they were and strangle the person who was shooting at them.

28. Do you do the games in the ads on myspace? Nein .___.

29. What are your favorite Pjs? My blue PJ pants and a white v-neck T-shirt.

30. What do you do when you pass graveyards? *shrug*

31. Have you ever seen a shooting star? No. v_v

32. How old do you think you'll live to be? 30

33. Your favourite website? deviantART, Howrse, Facebook, MySpace, Hotmail

34. List five things you want to do in your lifetime:

1 Go to Japan
2 Go to Venice
3 Learn how to do hard-shoe Irish step-dancing.
4 Get a puppy
5 Get breast implants.........WAHA! Nawt xD

35. What do you put on your hamburgers? Bacon, cheese, tomato, thousand island dressing, lettuce, and....that's it.

36. Do you eat raw hot dogs? Not anymore.

37. Do you like sushi? No.

38. How much salad dressing do you put on your salad? Um..not much..otherwise I'll grease it everywhere D:

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15387781/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15387781/ Tue, 06 Nov 2007 07:10:44 PST I hate that I'm so lazy. And when I feel the most guilty I start working my ass off again till I wear myself out again. It seems to be an endless cycle for me.
I've never gone more than two weeks without having a job since I was 14.
I wish I was pretty.
I'm unbelievable self-centered.
I used to cut my wrists - well, more like scratch, because then I could blame it on being clumsy and it's incredibly believable. I didn't do it for attention, either. I just had to get the pain out.
I'm not emo.
However I'm not as happy as people think I am.
I have the worst nightmares you could imagine. I can see, feel, hear, taste and smell everything - and it's so realistic that half so many of my dreams have mixed with my memories, I'm can't tell the difference between a lot of them anymore. It's terrifying.
Especially since a lot of my dreams have come true.
I'm far too intuitive. Maybe I'm closer to psychic and I just don't know it?
There's something wrong with my heart, but no one believes me. Maybe it's all in my head?
I've always secretly wanted to faint, just to know what it's like.
I've always thought I would die young.
I wish I was Asian. Mostly just so I could actually look cute and have pretty black hair.
I've been raped.
So, if there was any doubt in your mind before, I'm not a virgin.
And yes, I am fine with it now.
Both of my biological parents have disowned me, so, to me, I only have one parent, and that's my Dad - the wonderful man who raised me and protected me.
I still feel guilty for leaving him and my brother when I couldn't deal with living so close to my mom anymore.
I'm very irresponsible.
I don't get angry easily, but when I do, I'm kinda dangerous to be around.
I'm bi-curious.
I wish I was smart.
I wish I was beautiful. And I wish I could believe people when they tell me I am.
I used to be anorexic - and I guess I still go through my anorexic phases.
I'm a very negative person.
I have an extreme dislike for almost all children.
I really like anime. And manga. And Japanese things.
I'm desperate to learn how to do Irish step-dancing - I've wanted to be in Riverdance/Lord of the Dance/Feet of Flames since I first saw the videos as a little girl. Ballet and hip-hop are cool, too, though.
I think I might have Borderline Personality Disorder. I have such intense mood swings it scares me sometimes.
I'm terrified of heights, spiders, snakes, clowns, and the concept of drowning.
I wish I was good at hand-to-hand combat. And shooting. Guns are quite fascinating.
I'm in love with someone I've never met. And I don't think that's strange since Christians put their trust and faith in a God they've never seen, touched, or heard. I could at least touch this person someday, and I've heard him and talked to him. So if you're a Christian, don't judge me.
I wish I was my own boss, and didn't have to talk to strangers.
I'm so glad to no longer be working in the food business.
I'd like to be part of a menage-a-trois someday. The whole idea is very sexy.
I'm scared of failing expectations; others' and my own.
I wish I could be with him, but as much as I wish that, I'm scared that I wouldn't meet his expectations and I don't want to lose his friendship. He means the world to me.
I wish I was a great artist and photographer.
I'd love to be a published writer someday, too.
I wish I had wings, and I wish I could fly.
I want to get a tattoo of wings on my back, but am worried that I wouldn't be able to wear dresses for performing without looking unprofessional. That's the only reason I don't have a tattoo.
I'm a computer killer. Not by choice. I have the Midas touch when it comes to technology.
I'm horribly insecure, and that's probably what drives most of the guys I like away.
I love that work keeps me busy so I won't have to think as much.
I don't feel 20, in my head, even though I am.
I despise my mother and how manipulative she is. Even more than that, I hate how I seem to remind everyone of her. I don't want to be like here. Not even a little bit.
I'm scared that people will think differently of me after reading this. I'm scared that I'll lose the people I love.
I'm scared.

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15327773/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15327773/ Fri, 02 Nov 2007 07:29:51 PDT

1.- If I were a fruit I'd be... a kiwi
2.- If I were a colour I'd be... steel blue
3.- If I were an animal I'd be... a wolf
4.- If I were a domestic appliance I'd be...a clock
5.- If I were a book I'd be... a journal
6.- If I were a clothing item I'd be...arm warmers
7.- If I were a jewel I'd be... a fire opal
8.- If I were an object I'd be... a pencil.
9.- If I were a car I'd be...a Mitsubishi Spyder
10.- If I were an element I'd be... water
11.- If I were a tree I'd be... a cherry tree
12.- If I were a drink I'd be... water.
13.- If I were an ice cream flavor I'd be...peach & homemade vanilla
14.- If I were a person I'd be... myself.
15.- If I were a planet I'd be...Pluto
16.- If I were an insect I'd be...Cricket
17.- If I were public transport I'd be...a plane
18.- If I were a song I'd be...Such Great Heights - Iron & Wine
19.- If I were a movie I'd be...Closer
20.- If I were a season I'd be... autumn
21.- If I were a flower I'd be... cherry blossom
22.- If I were a job I'd be...an artist
23.- If I were a cartoon I'd be...Teen Titans
24.- If I were a place I'd be...an art gallery
25.- If I were a gift I'd be...a ring.
26.- If I were a memory I'd be...waiting.
27.- If I were a city I'd be...Venice.
28.- If I were a sense I'd be... sight.
29.- If I were a game I'd be... Fable II.
30.- If I were a candy I'd be... dark chocolate.
31.- If I were a time of the day I'd be... Evening
32.- If I were an invention I'd be...electricity.
33.- If I were a bodypart I'd be... heart.
34.- If I were a country I'd be... Italy.
35.- If I were a flavor I'd be... sweet.
36.- If I were a sport I'd be... gymnastics.
37.- If I were a smell I'd be... rain.
38.- If I were a subject I'd be...psychology.
39.- If I were a flag I'd be...the flag of Israel.
40.- If I were a building I'd be...a gallery.
41.- If I were a month I'd be... November.
42.- If I were a perfume I'd be...unforgettable.
43.- If I were a gummy candy I'd be...tasty?
45.- If I were a toy I'd be... a doll.
46.- If I were a textile I'd be...wool.
47.- If I were a shape I'd be...a circle.
48.- If I were a answer I'd be...vague.
49.- If I were a common liquorice I'd be... no idea ?_?
50.- If I were a word I'd be... "mystery".

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15292623/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15292623/ Tue, 30 Oct 2007 19:48:07 PDT
]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15213501/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15213501/ Thu, 25 Oct 2007 09:39:33 PDT Um.....sorta yes, sorta no. My Dad is fabulous, but my mom had way too much of an influence on my life -- Seeing as she is the devil incarnate.

2. Do you have a secret that you've never told ANYONE?
Too freaking many.

3. How do you handle stress?
Not very well. I like driving when I'm stressed - but I currently don't own a car (will be fixed in a few months), so....I write or listen to music, or sleep.

4. How would you spend your last day alive?
With the people I love.

5. Do you hide things well or do you have a guilty conscience?
Depends.

6. If there was true love on one side of the street and a million bucks on the other, which one would you choose?
Is there such a thing as true love?

7. If your parents got divorced and you had to pick mom or dad to live with which one would you choose?
HAH. I picked my Dad.

8. What is the worst thing you've ever done that your parents DONT know about?
Not going to answer that.

- The Love Stuff

1. Do you think you know the meaning of true love?
Yes.

2. The last time you kissed someone... was it someone you see yourself kissing again?
No.

3. When was that kiss?
Months ago.

4. Whats the most important part of a relationship in your opinion?
Respect, honesty, humility, and understanding.

5. If your parents didn't like the person you were dating.. would you lose em?
If Dad didn't like them, then yes, probably. My Dad's a good judge of character.

-The RANDOM stuff
1. Do you kick it with the same people always.. or new people?
Mostly the same.

2. How many piercings do you have?
5

3. How many Tattoos?
None.

4. Do you see yourself as a "good" person?
Eh.

5. Do you think best friends can be replaced?
Not "replaced", but other people can be something like them.

6. Name people that you can tell ANYTHING to:
I could tell Ryan, Amie, Mary, Lizzle, Sarah (my dad's girlfriend), or Sethummer anything and they would always understand.. but for some reason i just chose not to open up to them very often.

7. Are you the type that would rather stay at other peoples houses or have them at yours?
Other peoples' houses.

8. HONESTLY- have you ever wanted to watch a scary movie with someone just to be close to them?
Yep.

9. Is your family the.. "eat dinner at the table" type.. or the.. "get your food and eat wherever you want type."?
Um....well, I'm an adult so my parents don't mind where I sit. Sometimes we sit at the table, but when we're at Sarah's house with the kids I normally opt for the livingroom cause it's quieter and there's TV.

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15184134/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15184134/ Tue, 23 Oct 2007 07:08:25 PDT

Real name: Moenokori (did you guess that?)
Meaning: Ember
Nicks: Moenokori
Insults: Ummm?
I would like to be called: I don't know
I was born in: 13th October
Sign of the Zodiac: Libra
When I was a child I dreamed about: Lots of things....mostly nightmares...but it's always been that way.
Now I dream about: Bad things....scary things
The first nightmare I remember: I don't remember.
Favourite food: Pasta. Pizza. Chocolate. Brownies. Chocolate cake. Pocky. Chocolate pie.
Favourite drink: Water. Milk. Fruit smoothies. Strawberry lemonade.
Vices: ?
Phobias: Clowns. Heights. Drowning. Insects.
Even if I were paid I wouldn't: Do anything that went against my morals.
Favourite quote: "Whatever"
If I was a cat, I'd be: A cat.
Sixth sense: That's for me to know.
Hobbies: Music, writing, reading, knitting, anime, drawing/photography...
Pairings: IchiRuki , SakuSyaoran , and....I dunno
How many times have I thought I've been in love?: A few
How many times have I truly fallen in love?: Twice
What I like best about my physical appearance is: My shoulders? My eyes?
The max I have weighed: 137 pounds. T_T
The least I have weighed since I stopped growing up: 115 pounds.
Height: 5'7"
Something/one I hate with all my heart: Dubbed anime.
Books that changed my life: Too many to count
Do I identify myself with a fiction character?: Yes.
Historical or legendary character: Sorta.
I'm reading: Count of Monte Cristo , Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass, Manga...
I admire:
Because she's such a great artist and has a fantastic sense of humor
Because she's so good with a camera and knows how to make anyone look as beautiful as they truly are.
Because he's a fantastic friend, an incredible artist, and I miss him terribly.
Yet another fantastic photographer!!! A love her work!
I admire CLAMP too.
Things I'd say to the person I love the most: I'm sorry.
Things I'd say to the person I hate the most: I'm sorry.
A car for me: I'm saving up for a car.
Favourite painter: Ummm....can't decide
Favourite actor/actress: Not sure/Alexis Bledel
Tattos, piercings: None yet , 5
What do I ask life for?: For it to start getting better and start making sense
I'd travel to: Japan, Italy, France, England, New Zealand, Australia, etc...
Things I haven't done but which it's too late to learn now: To become a good artist (is it too late? No, but I'm too slow...)
Physical problems: Besides being a klutz and having some unknown (possibly heart-related?) health problem...?
Psychical problems: Hypochondriac.
Do I believe in fate?: Sorta
Do I believe in God?: Yes.
Heaven, hell or reincarnation: Heaven and Hell
How would I like to die?: I don't want to die, thanks.
Sons?: Ugh, no, thanks *hates kids*
Sexual orientation?: Bisexual, I think, though I like more boys than girls.
I'd kill: Someone who's going to kill many innocent people.
What would I say to the world if they were listening to me?: Grow up.
Someone I'll never forgive: I can't remember anyone I'd never forgive...although I'm still having a hard time forgiving my mother.
Time: 9:04 am.
What would I say to people from DA?: Have fun.

I tag whoever wants to do it.

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15097789/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15097789/ Wed, 17 Oct 2007 06:46:18 PDT cause...
It's raining and I'm bored.

ANIME/MANGA NERD
[x] You watch anime.
[x] You read manga.
[x] You buy/collect anime DVDs or manga volumes
[not yet] You own some other form of anime/manga merchandise.
[x] You have referred to an anime character as 'hot' before.
[ ] You have cosplayed.
[ ] You have done so in public.
[ ] You have been to an anime/manga convention.
[x] You have created/joined a fanclub for an anime/manga character.
[ ] You have created/joined a hateclub for an anime/manga character.
[x] You have squealed when you found out somebody had the same name as an anime character you knew.
[x] You enjoy drawing anime.
[x] People you know know you as the 'anime' person.
[x] You know that it is pronouced 'mawnguh' and not 'manga' like it is spelled.
ANIME/MANGA POINTS: 9

ART NERD
[x] You like art.
[x] You actually consider yourself an artist.
[x] When using art supplies, the brand of them matters to you.
[x] You have a favorite brand.
[x] You have asked for art supplies as a Christmas/birthday gift before.
[x] You give people your drawings as gifts.
[x] People actually ask for your drawings.
[ ] You are known as 'the art person' at your school.
[x] Instead of just 'brown' or 'ink', you'd be specific; it's 'sienna brown' or 'blush pink'. Or whatever.
[x] You have taken an art class outside of school.
[x] You have considered a career as an artist.
[x] Your school papers are always covered in doodles.
[x] You have a favorite artist.
[x] Your drawings have been framed. (My photos have)
[ ] You carry a sketchbook with you everywhere you go.
ART NERD POINTS: 13

MUSICAL NERD
[x] You play a musical instrument.
[x] You play more than one instrument.
[x] You actually really enjoy playing your instrument.
[x] You've given your instrument a name.
[x] You've participated in an extracurricular activity for your instrument.
[x] You are known by what you play.
[x] You listen to classical music.
[x] You are wondering whether that refers to the classical music genre or the classical music time period.
[x] You have a favorite composer.
[x] All of your friends are from your band/orchestra class.
[ ] You write music.
[x] You've had discussions with your friends about music; your favorite composers/instruments/musical time periods/key/etc...
[x] You have considered a professional career with your instrument.
[x] You are never nervous playing for other people.
MUSICAL NERD POINTS: 13

VIDEO GAME NERD
[x] You play video games.
[ ] You own more than 4 different video game systems.
[x] You've had debates over which system is the greatest.
[ ] You play video games every day.
[x] You have played a video game for over 10 hours.
[x] You have songs from your favorite video games on your MP3.
[x] You love to talk about video games.
[ ] You memorize the dates for when a new game is being released.
[ ] People know you as the 'gamer' person.
[ ] You spend more time on video games than you do hanging out with friends.
[ ] Your gaming system is in your room.
[ ] You have preferences when it comes to what company your game came from.
[x] You've had debates over which company is the best.
[x] You keep playing a game until you beat it. (slowly but surely..)
VIDEO GAME NERD POINTS: 7

COMPUTER NERD:
[x] You use the computer every day.
[x] You have an account/username on some sort of social website.
[ ] You go into random internet chatrooms.
[x] You spend at least 2 hours a day on the computer.
[x] You spend time in online forums.
[x] In the forum/chatroom you use, you are known there by everyone else.
[x] You have friends you have only met online.
[ ] You have/have had a girlfriend/boyfriend you have only met online.
[x] You have actually met an online friend in person.
[x] U cn ezly rd 'txttlk.'
[x] You have said 'lol' or 'omg' in normal conversations. (just for the hell of it lol)
[x] You can type really, really fast. SKILLZ
COMPUTER NERD POINTS: 9

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15055020/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/15055020/ Sun, 14 Oct 2007 08:21:06 PDT
1. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
~ I doubt it.

2. What color are your eyes?
~ a mix of blue/green/gray

3. What does your last text say?
~ "Happy Birthday!"

4. Do you smoke cigarettes?
~ No

5. What is one thing you question?
~ Sanity

6. Do you lead people on?
~ Sometimes

7. Are you married?
~ Not that I know of.

8. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it?
~ Yes

9. Do you have a crush on anyone?
~ Not really.

10. Is there anyone that doesn't like you because of something you didn't even do?
~ Yes

11. Do you miss someone?
~ Yes.

12. Do you think they miss you too?
~ I doubt it.

13. Will you ever speak to them again?
~ I hope so. I miss them terribly.

15. When is the last time you laughed?
~ Today.

17. Did any of your friends go out with your ex?
~ Yes.

18. What are you wearing right now?
~ Jeans, white tanktop, blue flower print top, flip-flops, and new earrings.

19. Are you mad at anyone right now?
~ Yes.

20. How is your hair?
~ It's on my head.

24. Did you stay friends with your ex?
~ No.

25. Where do you keep your money?
~ Under the second rock to the right by the stream.

26. Do you remember the most naughty night of your life?
~ Yes.

27. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
~ Depends on the person.

28. What are your initials?
~ M.

29. Who/What made you angry today?
~ The evil woman who gave birth to me.

31. Ever been skinny dipping?
~ No.

33. What are you afraid of?
~ Clowns. Heights. Drowning.

34. What's one thing you've learned this past year?
~ People suck. Life sucks.

35. Do you find yourself loved?
~ Yes.

36. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't suppose to?
~ Never. I'm veddy veddy sneaky, sir.

37. Favorite smell?
~ Rain. Vanilla. Chocolate. Coffee.

39. What's something that really bugs you?
~ Conniving idiot women.

40. If you could say one thing to a certain person what would you say?
~ I love you and miss you so much. Please talk to me again. I know you're probably mad at me again, and I know I'm an awful friend and that I should've said something when you told me the truth, but I couldn't say what I really felt because life constantly gets in the way of us being together...well, it did. And now it's like I don't even exist to you anymore. Gomenasai...

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/14876289/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/14876289/ Mon, 01 Oct 2007 19:16:20 PDT
You are: --- Melancholy, enduring a sore body and throat, and in need of chocolate and foot massages!
You like: --- Sleep, anime/art/manga, and foot massages
You dislike: --- Being a female...., love, dissension
You can: --- pinch people, throw ice at people, fall down stairs
You can not: --- be graceful, take another day off work, or....draw worth crap
Your decisions: --- indefinite, and...., I make decisions?
What video game class would you be? --- I dunno? Assassin?
Your eyes? --- Big, expressive, colorful.
Your fave colors? --- Silver, blue, black.

Round 2: Answer with one word.

Is there a God? --- Yes.
Fav artistry style? --- Anime.
Your worst enemy? --- Me.
Moves you most? --- Others.
Right of left handed? --- Right.

Round 3: Just answer.

What do ya think often? --- I'd rather not talk about it.
How can I enrage you? --- Not many people can. I'd have to care about you first.
Your fate: --- Death.
What satisfies you, the result of your work or the way to it? --- Usually neither. If the result is good, then the result. The result is seldom good.
Sorry, a ‘must’ question. Is the glass half full or half empty? --- It just is.

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/14299783/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/14299783/ Thu, 23 Aug 2007 07:18:35 PDT 1. Tricia ()
2. Patty (only a select few may use this name, cause...I hate it)
3. Chii

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. TriciaDillard
2. patriciadillard_2004
3. Annn'...I dunno

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Very, very, VERY empathetic--I can put myself in just about anyone's shoes.
2. Independent
3. Creative

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Oversensitive
2. Independent
3. Cold

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. European (German, Welsh, and possibly Irish?) *waves hand vaguely*
2. Cherokee
3. Sioux

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU (or mostly creep you out):
1. Clowns
2. Insects
3. People

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. ID card for work
2. Music
3. Computer

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Jeans
2. Baker U t-shirt
3. Black headband

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists at the moment):
1. Regina Spektor
2. Shiny Toy Guns
3. Imogen Heap

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Don't Cry Out - Shiny Toy Guns
2. Leave Me To Love - Imogen Heap
3. Lady - Regina Spektor

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Go back to school
2. Buy a car
3. Get new clothes and start expanding my wardrobe so I don't have to wear the same thing twice a week. o.o

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. I don't
2. want to be
3. in a relationship.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I'm sweaty. Ew, work.
2. I'm bi. =_=
3. I'm an insomniac.

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Hug a clown
2. Be in a relationship.
3. Draw. *teardrop*

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Music
2. Writing
3. Watching anime

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Go home
2. Wash my hair T^T *pulls at it*
3. Take pictures

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING: <--(cross that, dreaming XD)
1. Musician
2. Music professor
3. Art gallery owner person?

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Japan
2. Italy
3. VA Beach

THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. I
2. Don't
3. KNow

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Get a book published
2. Buy all the manga/anime I like 8D
3. Buy all the clothes I like

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/14045350/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/14045350/ Mon, 06 Aug 2007 14:37:51 PDT
01) First name:
Tricia

02) Your nickname in dA:
Moenokori

03) Birthday:
October 13

04) Horoscope sign:
Libra

05) Birth town:
BC

06) Religion:
Christian

07) Nationality
American

08) Parents:
What about 'em?

09) Do you love them:
I love my Dad...

10) Brothers or sisters:
Yeah. 1 bro, 2 sisters...

11) Do you like the place where you live:
Oh yes!

12) Hair color:
Dark reddish brown. Gonna change it back to all brown soon.

13) Color of your eyes:
blue/green/gray

14) Height:
5'7"

15) Weight:
125 lbs

16) What school/grade are you going to:
University

17) What marks do you have:
Good

18) Do you work anywhere:
Yes

19) What do you want to be in your life:
Me

20) Your life:
is far too interesting thus far.

21) Personal quote:
"Truth be told, my love is one that never was;
Only that which time will never envy
For all its glamour and appeal
It is that which I do not desire,

Love, as this, I do not embrace
Nor pray to steal a kiss
For that love, as it is often called
Is but a calloused scar on a heart, once my own.

If this is love, I will have no part in it
For I would rather be alone,
In heart and soul, for eternity
Than hold close that which I cannot bear.

"I love you;" no words wound like these.
Do not love me. Do not love and lie as others.
But, if this talk of love you believe,
Remember I am a woman, not a saint.

For each word spoken, and each word read
Minutes of thought, and an hour besides
For these are but whispers of the torrent kept still
And only will has kept back that which I keep secret."
Poem by Yours Truly

22) Lucky number:
Don't have one.

23) What are you interested in:
Music, Art, Anime, Literature, Writing

24) Good side of your character:
Dunno?

25) Bad side of it:
=_=

26) Is your life happy?
*shrug*

27) Do you think that you are crazy?
Yep.

28) What is the time?
4:28 PM

29) What is the date?
Monday, 6-07-2007

30) What's the weather like:
Warm, sunny

31) Favorite day in a week:
Friday

32) Favorite music:
Don't have a favorite

34) Band:
Not sure.

35) Song:
Ditto

36) Best concert you have been:
Probably one of the services at NFAF...either of the times I went.

37) Actress:
Alexis Bledel, Lauren Graham, Ally Sheedy

38) Actor:
Johnny Depp, Scott Patterson, Michael Vartan...

39) Film:
Not sure

40) TV series:
Gilmore Girls

41) Theater play:
Hm...

42) Film director:
Not sure

43) Do you want to be famous:
Nope.

44) Do you want to be an actor/actress:
Nope.

45) Do you want to be a singer:
Sure

46) Book:
Can't decide

49) Food:
Italian or Mexican

51) Sweet:
chocolate

52) Fruit:
Peaches

53) The worst food:
Olives

54) The Worst drink:
Beer

55) The worst Singer:
A lot of them...

56) The worst Band:
Joy Electric

57) The worst Actor:
Can't decide

58) The worst Actress:
ditto

59) The worst Movie:
Galaxy Quest

60) The worst book:
many

61) Do you drink alcohol:
Rarely

62) Do you smoke:
nope.

63) Do you take some drugs:
Of the illegal variety? Never. Legal. Yes.

64) What do you adore to wear:
T-shirt, jeans, flip-flops

65) Do you think you're pretty:
No

66) What languages do you speak:
English, some french, some japanese...

67) The most beautiful person you have ever seen/male:
Hmm....Michael Vartan

68) The most beautiful person you have ever seen/female:
Dunno

69) The most beautiful person on dA/male:
Ashton

70) The most beautiful person on dA/female:
Can't decide

71) 5 your best friends on dA/male: 72) 5 your best friends on dA/female:
Dunno

73) The ugliest person on dA/male:
I don't now.

74) The ugliest person on dA/female:
I don't know.

75) The... ]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/13899768/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/13899768/ Fri, 27 Jul 2007 21:38:35 PDT I love you and all will miss you all very, very, VERY much!!!
Don't forget about me, okay?
I'll try to be back ASAP!

-Tricia

::edit::
I bought a memory card for my camera today!!!! So I'll be taking LOTS of pictures on the way home!!! I have space for 300+ so, once I get internet again, I'll be uploading a LOT of pics to my MySpace and DeviantArt accounts.

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/13854100/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/13854100/ Tue, 24 Jul 2007 01:48:13 PDT


The only trouble is, the world is already that way.
It feels like the universe has been knocked on it's side
Mirrors are broken and lies are spilled
And nothing makes sense at all.
And my feelings, physical and mental,
Are so contradictory I can hardly sleep
I'm so exhausted and stressed out
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Or even what I want for anything or anyone

I wish that for once I could have a normal conversation
without my mind going blank or words tripping over themselves.
There isn't much that is more annoying right now than trying to connect
...it's like I'm trying to light a fire between us,
but the wind of my thoughts and doubts keeps making the flame threaten to disappear
because the pressure is too much and not enough
And I can barely string words together enough to make a sentence
And I'm scared you'll lose interest,
Or be completely aghast at my stupidity

Yes, I am far too insecure,
But it's because I care so much
About life and the people I love
And how for once, I would love to not fuck everything up
I'm so flighty and can't make up my mind to save my life
And when I actually try to communicate it all comes out wrong
And we're both at a loss for words because...
Well, what can you say when the only responses to you
Are from someone who would love to disappear at that exact moment?

Does God ever feel like this?--At a loss for words?
(Not that I'm at a loss for words now, but I was earlier...
When you called and I had no clue what to say
I was so exasperated with life, but didn't want to complain too much
And yet I didn't want to sound so cheesily positive that you'd be annoyed
And what I wanted most in that half hour was to be right there
Breathing the same air and being at home--together)
I sorta hope that He does...and that he'd pass down a guide
How-to-NOT-be-an Idiot's Guide for Idiots...

For the next five days, I'll be stranded
With half of my life packed away
And the other half waiting to be taken somewhere
Old and familiar; somewhere it can call home
Meanwhile, these last few days crawl by
Practically groveling at the feet of transition
As if to see if I'm really ready to start living again
Or if this is just some cruel joke that I'll wake up from
And still have another hundred days in exile.

And this weakness that's gnawing at my insides
Eroding my patience with a sickening dread
That maybe my second wind is gone
And I'm simply coasting along
Hoping that I had enough strength to survive.
I'm scared, for this reason as well...
Scared that my weakness will disappoint
And you'll dismiss any possibilities
'Though, who am I to judge?

And as far now, all I can do is wait
At this crossroads tickling my fancy
With each tendril of thought
And perhaps something good will come of it
Though it might not be worth such speculation
The future isn't in favor of that sort of gamble
Better to hold your breath and wish on stars
Than put your hopes in someone
For no human is truly trustworthy

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/13764910/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/13764910/ Tue, 17 Jul 2007 02:08:58 PDT and your words burn like acid
with no end in sight
how can you be upset
all I did was stay out of the way

it feels like the day
fifteen years ago
when we visited that house
it was raining and the scent was intoxicating
it felt so intrusive
walking through home
not our own
so beautiful, yet real
something so dark and secretive
should not be disturbed
walking in the garden
feeling the grinding crunch of pebbles
beneath my shoes as we walked
down the path
and out of your life

even as I was growing up
I saw you betray him
betray our family
with your need for attention
you're still an actress
parading around
in your short-lived glory
it'll fail you and leave.
leaving you, like a one-night stand,
more shrunken and bitter
as each act comes to a close

who knows how long it will take
for the chemistry
and the laws of exchange
to make you realize
just how much you lost
and maybe you'll finally hear
the question that drives
are you happy now?

no, this is not avoidance.
was not avoidance.
never will be.
only the continuance of a shadow.
that was never meant to fit
in your world. no matter.
we'll all forget soon.
rinse and reuse.
this is the beauty
of memory and loss.

out of mind, out of sight
with an inadvertent loss
of connection
apologies extended,
with judgments accepted,
and no words to defend.

-------------------------------

and...you.
these questions
probing my mind
mostly of you
nothing makes sense
and these butterflies won't leave
and nothing is black and white
and I want to tell you
I want to tell you each detail
each little thought of you
but I'm terrified
that you'll think I'm too forward
that I'm crazy
that you can't handle all this
that I'll scare you away
that I'll lose you,
even though you say I won't lose everyone
and all this wondering leaves me
f.i.n.e. and full of quotes
from movies
songs
and snapshot memories of us
alone and together
young and innocent
no holds barred

how did you do it?
how did you awaken this?
something I had locked up so tightly
and am now considering letting go
for you, and only you
and maybe I'm reading too much into it
I probably am, as always
thinking too much
logical too little
and just as
freaked out
insecure
neurotic
emotional
...
...
and dramatic
as always
loyally,
faithfully
unpredictable.

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/13380204/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/13380204/ Sun, 17 Jun 2007 11:25:26 PDT
A Little Princess was one of my favorite movies to watch with Dad...and he told me that he was thinking about it this morning, and he liked it, too! ^_^

So, without further ado... [link]

]]> ~Moenokori http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/13103489/ http://Moenokori.deviantart.com/journal/13103489/ Sat, 26 May 2007 16:44:15 PDT He probably feels like his whole family has abandoned him...his daughter's run off with someone who's half her age...left her husband and torn the whole family apart...and I'm sure things with me didn't help, either. I'm just hoping he won't hate me...that maybe he'll still love me, despite how I've been avoiding talking to him.
I'm praying that somehow I can get a ride to go see him...before it's too late. Even if it's just to hold his hand for a moment and get to tell him that I love him and I'm so sorry for everything.
;_;

]]> ~Moenokori