SO because of the lovely and my current art block, the first 10 people to comment get a sketch !!

Humans, dogs, cats, etc. are awright with me! But please don't expect anything spectacular- I'm still in that awkward learning place when it comes to art. GRAH. I'll do my best!!

<33

1. Chaltiere
2. md-rocket
3. Air-Wave
4. Miss-Souris
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

-other news-
We're getting the news on Betty tomorrow. She could possibly have breast cancer, so we're all praying for her. D: I'm trying not to think about it too much.
I'm getting spooked by school upcoming. Let's push that away from the mind too.
Feeling sleep-deprived and insomniatic and upset lately. Blegh.
Other than all that bad stuff, my life is pretty darn good! I'm having fun with my two cousins who are back from studying in Korea for three years, and I'm glad they're backkkk
and uh
art block.
yes.

comment and:
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.

(also i feel cool because i'm watching jonas)

SO my trip's been eventful. 3 hospital stays, a bunch of doctor appointments, and a lot of tears. But at least I'm getting better. Long story short: had a bad case of pneumonia that refused to go away.

The important thing is that I spend my last five days as fruitfully as possible. C: After everything, I'm glad I took this trip.

ALSO I've been working on my CSS layout. It's been a little frustrating, so hopefully some more editing in the morning will prove successful.

I've missed everyone! I hope you're all having eventful, fun summers!!

<3

So mommy dearest is slowly but surely reintroducing me to the lovely language of Korean. Sure, i've never been without your standard supply of "Hello"s and "Goodbye"s, maybe even a "Pass the cake, goofball". But never really enough to carry out a conversation without having to bolt.

-mood music-

As I relearn more and more, it feels as if that empty space in my heart is slowly filling up. It's as if...I've lost a part of me.

/mood music

Kind of like when you're adopted and you finally meet your birth parents, except not really and less melodramatic.

I don't know why I said all that. Just excited to finally be able to converse like I know what I'm talking about. Just one step closer to being awake, I hope.

QUESTION: Have you ever felt like you're sleeping while you're awake?? And no, I don't mean like you think you're in a dream, actually sleeping in bed at home. I mean in a metaphorical sense. Like nothing phases you and you're underwater and trying to get people to hear you, but they can't. Cause I'm looking back, and for a while now, it feels like I'm sleeping (figuratively) all the time. Sometimes, it seems like I WAKE UP and everything gets clear, but only randomly.

grrr rants.

okay enough of that. hopefully uploading some things this weekend. trying to catch up on tons of stuff for school, but i'm trying not to stress out. i'm mostly just sleepy. c:

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

The surgery went well! I was scared stiff, but it's over, and the important thing is, when I was walking to the operation room with a slow-looking technician behind me, I didn't go running out the emergency exit when I passed it. OH YEAH COURAGE!

Got five stitches that barely hurt anymore. The one thing I'm worrying about now is catching up in schoolwork. I haven't been to school in nearly two weeeeeksss ;o; How did that happen?! And I have the thought looming over my head that my teachers are cursing me out every day. xD

I still can't go back to school because the anesthesia left a side effect that makes it hard to breathe when I'm standing or walking. Convenient. Went to the doctor, had an x ray, everything looks alright. Might spend some time sitting outside to get some fresh air, since I'm really hoping to get to school ! Out of sheer guilt, not the need to be in that pleasant environment again.

YUS SO.
Our school
is kind of idiotic
closing for two weeks because of swine influenza
and then changing it to just one day off from school after everyone went through the stages of
shock
initial happiness
grief
anxiety
etc. (not necessarily in that order?)

But it's good for me, since maybe people will still be as disoriented as I will be when I get back.

RARARARAR so I just thought I'd update and
stuff...

Also, I have a questionn
When people you've known for a really long time start changing
and not necessarily negative changes
how do you deal with it?

E.g. do you try to change them back (reminding them of old times, rejecting things they do that are different), be rational and convince yourself it's normal, etc.

lol broad question
okay seeya!

OH AND UM
HOW IS EVERYONE?!
I'm feeling just a little ~dis connect ed~
...!

I'm leaving at noon to go to surgeryyy
ahhh!!

The last few weeks, I haven't really been very worried about it. Even now, as much as I try to will my stomach to clench and my arms to get clammy, I'm completely unmoved. Maybe I'm used to it by now, which is a little sad.

I'm sure I'll be freaking out when I get there, but for now I'm a little bit...sleepy.

Once I get home, maybe I'll update this journal entry and give you all the play by play. Lol.

I did draw something yesterday, so maybe I'll upload it when I get back.

I'm so sleeeeeeeeeepy.

AWRIGHT bye everyone!

Life is very crazy these few weeks, for which I'm exhaustingly glad. The craziness with school and friends and family is distracting me from the impending surgery. I don't even have time to worry, nor do I have the energy. I doubt I would worry even if I had nothing to do, but still. It's a nice, if not tiring distraction.

Working my brains out to bring all my B's up to A's this last quarter. Studying is hard! -whine-

My biggest worry right now is my mother, but then again, I always worry about her. We're going through a situation that gets a little hairy and puts a lot of weight on my shoulders, but it's okay. We just had a not-so-great day today. Optimism that tomorrow will be better! We pinky-swore it would be better. Vague -punch'd-

The dogs are alright, though they're both on meds. Like the rest of the family C:

I've gone straight from art drought to art flood! All this artistic energy is keeping me from sleeping the last couple of days, which is fine, since I'm up studying anyways. The only thing is, I have writing block. I guess you can't have everything.

Art that's coming up
Craploads of references because I can't function without them
Updated CSS layout because it's an illness to change it all the time
Some hilarious fanart

Ergh. Better get back to studying. I hope everyone's in good health and surrounded by family or friends or at least love. C:

you ever get really emotional listening to songs of your childhood? (cough pokemon cough)

also zelda.

anyways, i'm cleaning out the gallery ;o; i think i need a clean slate to start drawing again. arghh i'm such a slacker.

how's everyone been? it feels like everything's been hibernating even though it's just me sleeping.

Arghhhhh. You ever get randomly reminded of something stupid you did a long time ago? I hate that soo much.

Besides that, pet peeves include watching people eat ice cream on a cone, when laces on sneakers are uneven (one is tighter than the other), and when peoples' noses whistle when they talk.

ANY PET PEEVES OF YOURS?

I've got such butterflies in my stomach. My tube is out! YESSSS! Well, I took it out on Monday, and I've been seriously nervous all week that the opening wouldn't close. But, it seems all healed this morning!

I was extremely emotional last night when I was able to run a hand over my stomach without bumping into a tube.

Well, enough of that nonsense! Throwing myself back into Pokemon...like a nerd.

And, Gina and Betty are in tip-top shape! Betty got some lyme disease back in the day, but she's a okay now.

I just want to go outside, since it's getting warmer.

I'll search for my tablet today, but I have a seriously bad case of procrastination.

I've been feeling disconnected from everyone here. How is everybody? ;o;

I kind of promised myself I wouldn't come back to dA until I started drawing again, but it hasn't worked out. I'm getting the artbug again. Hesitantly. Once I locate my tablet (lost again!), I'll start drawing again. Agh.

As for writing, I'm writing up a storm. Started a new story idea that's still a little shaky, but it's called full collapse.

More stuff about me that you should ignore

- Got the flu a few weeks ago and died
- Missed a crapload of school
- Fell out of touch with all my friends on dA NOOOOO
- Missed three of my exams during exam week, and now I'm taking one tomorrow (first day of spring break) and the next in a few weeks.

OH and
I'm getting my stomach tube out~
Woo hoo!
I'm mostly worried. It's coming out this Monday. I mean, I can just do it at home, but I'm freaking out because I'd rather not have a surgery or deal with any of that other hospital stuff. I've spent the last 6 months or so numbing myself from that stuff. But otherwise, I'm excited. Last time I could run a hand over my stomach smoothly was maybe...6 years ago. OH GOD I'M GOING TO START CRYING.

Haha not really.
Anyways.

Stupid ideas for art that don't matter

Um, got a few new characters. I feel like I fail a little at drawing, but we'll see once I get a tablet in my hands again. Umm, there's also that obnoxious Flash reference sheet that's been gathering dust that last year. err and that dead collage project. I'd better do that too, even though it's probably completely invalid now. Blegh. BUT I will do that.

The parentals said they would get me a huge, Canon shutterbug-type camera for my 16th birthday, since I asked for it. That, or a nice acoustic guitar, but I think the camera suits me better.

MORE IMPORTANTLY I feel like I've lost touch with everybody here, including . MIRA i miss you!! D: i feel like we're moving apart...
well, i suppose i could come to school.
but yeah.
um.

Okay this journal is more stupid than I remembered them being. DD: BUT

I hope all of you are in good health, surrounded by family, or at least friends, and bitten by the artbug. And the shutterbug. Whichever you prefer. <3

Personally, I'm confused about why I am awake at such an hour as 2:40 AM. Why?!

Anyways. I am drawing. HALLELUAH!

And, I am writing. WAHOO!

Unfortunately, life is a tad crazy for me. As is assumed.

I'm hoping to submit something tomorrow (depending when I wake up, which depends on when I go to sleep tonight)

So, yes.

I feel like I've been severely art blocked this past year. Isn't that depressing? SO, I'm sorry if I was inactive and not there to comment and fave and support through tough times e.g. vents.

I hope everyone is enjoying winter break! I hope you guys are with family or friends or loved ones in general! Happy New Year!

Important things to get done/look forward to

1. Dad's birthday tomorrow! Yay! Although it prevents me from hanging with my main bud .
2. Finish this CSS! Sheesh!
3. Submit something!
4. Finish my mega awesome Flash ref of doom that has been long dead since last year. It will be amazing!
5. Submit some writing?
6. Go to sleep!

An inevitable quiz.

What You Have:
[x] Mother
[x] Father
[ ] Step-Father
[ ] Step-Mother
[ ] Step-Sister
[ ] Step Brother
[ ] Brother
[ ] Brother In Law
[ ] Sister
[ ] Sister In Law
[ ] Half sister
[ ] Half brother
[x] Nephew (Half...no siblings!)
[x] Niece (Half...no siblings! Do cousins' children count?)
[ ] Girlfriend
[ ] Boyfriend
[x] Cell phone
[x] Have/had a Swimming pool (Back in the day)
[x] Have/had a Hot tub (Ditto)
[x] Guestroom
[x] Living Room
[ ] Game Room
[x] Computer
[x] TV
Total: 11

[x] Full size or bigger bed
[x] More than 8 pairs of shoes
[x] Sunglasses
[x] Watch
[x] MP3 Player/iPod that works
[] PS2 that works
[ ] Xbox that works
[x] Nintendo DS or PSP that works
[x] Gameboy/Advance
[x] Gamecube
[x] Wii
[] PS3
[x] Laptop
Total so far: 21

[] Basketball/Netball hoop
[ ] Air hockey table
[ ] Pool table
[ ] Ping pong table
[ ] Fooseball table
[ ] Volleyball net
Total so far: 21

[x] Nightstand
[x] Stereo in bedroom
[ ] DVD player in bedroom
Total so far: 23

[x] Goes shopping at least once a week
[x] AIM/MSN
[x] Camera/or on phone

Total so far: 26

[x] Electric or gas scooter/4x4/motor cycle/car/go-cart (father's?)
[x] Guitar/drums/bass guitar / guitar hero
[x] Piano/Keyboard
[x] Any other instrument (violin)
[x] Been on a cruise
[x] Traveled out of the state
[ ] Had a personal trainer
[x] Expensive jewelery
[x] Met a singer/band/actor/actress
Total so far: 34

[x] Staightener/curling iron
[ ] Have been to a batting cage
[ ] Have $50 on you right now
[x] Credit card or atm and or debit card of bank card
[x] Have/had a massive tv
[x] Mirror in your room
[ ] You have about two closets in your room
[x] 2 or more bedrooms in your house
[] Been to Las Vegas
[ ] Been to the Bahamas
[ ] Been to Mexico
[] Have over 5 trophies in your room or medals or ribons
Total so far: 39

[x] Your Parents have a car
[ ] You have a car
[ ] You/parents own or owned a Jet Ski/boat
[x] Have owned or own skis/snowboard
Total so far: 41

[] Been camping
[x] Been to 3+ states
[x] 100+ buddies on facebook/myspace/aim
Total so far: 43

[x] Home cooked meal almost everyday
[x] Been in a limo
[x] Been in an airplane
[x] Own/owned a camcorder
[x] Own a computer
Total so far: 48

Rich brat.

---------------------------------------
0 or less = Bum____________
1-22 = Poor emo___________
23-33 = Average Teen_______
34-44 = Upper class teen_____
45-up = Rich brat___________

Okay, for several reasons, I hate hate hate superficial quizzes like this. You can't judge your happiness based on what you have. Why did I even do this, then? Boredom strikes with fury.

;o; It's over 9000.......!

Mow.

I got Animal Crossing: City Folk a while ago, but [link] reminded me of the whole connect with friends feature. So so here's my friend code and such. Do with it what you will.

(Add me, first off. )

Name: Carr
Town: Viridian
Code: 1504-9468-4792

Mow.

Yet another journal entry. Wahoo.

How is everyone enjoying Turkey Day? I hope you're surrounded by family and meat and um love.

Anyways. Life is alright. Betty was diagnosed with a ruptured disc, so she's on meds. And painkillers, so she's not in any pain.

Art art art. I I I swear to god I will draw more. School and etc. have been insane, as you guys probably understand.

So.

Alright. Um, yeah. That is all.

Mow.

Names you go by:
1. Alex
2. Poopface
3. Alex

Parts of your Heritage:
1. North Korean (Kind of half)
2. South Korean (Kind of half)
3. A small fraction of European like Russian and etc.


Three of Your Everyday Essentials:
1. Three brownies
2. A cup of milk
3. Dreaming

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Ralph Lauren pink + white striped pajama shirt c: Cozy
2. White Abercrombie sweatpants
3. Um a blue t shirt that's inside out

Three of Your Favorite Songs Right Now:
1. Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
2. Pretty Handsome Awkward - The Used
3. Tell Me Something I Don't Know - Selena Gomez :3

Three Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. I have to be wearing no makeup and sweats and look slightly grungy and the guy still thinks I'm cute :3
2. A lot of non-cheesy, non-monologue-ish romance, plus a guy who is spontaneous
3. A guy who believes in superpowers would be nice

Two Truths and a Lie (in any order):
1. I hate my friends
2. I'm craving a relationship
3. I hate how I look

Three PHYSICAL Things that Appeal to You in Girls/Guys:
1. A husky voice c:
2. Ability to reflect awkward silences (that's physical shut up)
3. Brilliant eyes

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Video games
2. Being a little kid
3. Drawing things I suppose

Three Things You want really badly right now:
1. An understanding friend
2. For True Blood to just get rid of those accents. It's so hard to like the characters.
3. Animal Crossing for the Wii

Three Places You Want to go:
1. Washington
2. California
3. Home

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. Fall in love
2. Get published
3. Beat Pokemon

Three Ways that you are stereotypically a Girl/Guy:
1. I love sickeningly romantic guys
2. With age, I'm slowly falling in love with anything chocolate
3. I'm sickeningly affectionate + mushy

And another. Because this is the extent of my dA activity. (I really really really will upload something tomorrow.)

100 TRUTHS:

001. Name – Alex
002. Nickname(s) – Poopface, Elixir, Hubert, Hugo, Aleyoop, Xandra
003. Status – It's Complicated with someone..? D:
004. Zodiac sign - Chinese: Rooster | Western: Libra
005. Male or female - Female
006. Elementary – This place
007. High School – The same place
008. College – I want to go to Yale ;
009. Smart – I hope so
010. Hair color – Black, red highlights in the sun
011. Long or short – Long
012. Loud or Quiet – Quiet quiet except with bursts of obnoxious loudness
013. Sweats or Jeans – SWEATS. Ultimate comfort
014. Phone or Camera – Camera. A nice Nikon.
015. Health freak – Nope.!
016. Drink or Smoke? – Um um um honestly I've wanted to try my hand at a cigarette. Hate me? C:
017. Do you have a crush on someone? – Erghhhhh
018. Eating or Drinking – EATING
019. Piercings – One in each ear
020. Tattoos – OH Temp tattoos on my left arm c:

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing – My LEFT ear..!
024. First best friend – Um Taryn.
025. First award – ErrrrrrrRrRrRrrrrr O_O
026. First crush – Um a guy from fourth grade c:
027. First pet – Sunflower and Rainbow and Oreo plus 10 other goldfishes
028. First big vacation – Um I went to Bermuda at like 8 years old
030. First big birthday – Year 1! It's bigger than Sweet 16!

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating - Nothing x_x
050. Drinking – Nothing (The Fountain of Youth)
052. I'm about to – Finish X Men
053. Listening to – Hugh Jackman and his fake American Accent
054. Plans for today – Sleep

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? – Oh goodness. Childbirth terrifies me, but hopefully a little girl?
059. Want to get married? - bleh sure why not
060. Careers – writer on the side, contemplating teaching american lit later on, also thinking about going into screenplay; if not...um...who knows?


WHICH IS BETTER WITH OPPOSITE SEX?
068. Lips or eyes – Eyes c: but i won't tolerate thin lips. no no.
070. Shorter or taller? – shorter; i don't want him to tower over me :3
072. Romantic or spontaneous – spontaneous = romantic, thanks.
073. Nice stomach or nice arms – ugh i'd rather thin noodle arms rather than a flabby stomach. so stomach.
074. Sensitive or loud – sens... ]]> =MonotonePanda http://MonotonePanda.deviantart.com/journal/21079364/ http://MonotonePanda.deviantart.com/journal/21079364/ Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:03:01 PDT ---------------

WHAT?

1. What does your deviantART name mean and why did you join this site?
My dA name is a rendition of a logo from Korea (Monotone Panda- note the space), which is a stationary company that makes adorable notepads and such of pandas. So, a pad with Monotone Panda was sitting next to me when I made my dA (after getting a frantic email from Miranda) and I couldn't decide on a name. I was like, "Might as well do MonotonePanda." The end.

2. What fandom were you obsessed with when you joined and what are you into now?
I was obsessed with Harry Potter. And fried eggs.

3. How many watchers do you have now?
Idk, I'd have to check.

4. Name 3 of your favorite artists on DA
, , and <3

5. Do you comment, fav, or both?
I usually comment, but I don't usually fave. If I really like it, enough to write a novel of a comment, I'll usually fave for good measure C:

6. Do you participate in clubs' contests here on DA?
Nope.

7. What is your most popular deviation?
Again, I'd have to check. Too lazy.

8. What are you favorite non-anime TV shows?
Hmm. Gossip girl and Tom and Jerry and anything with Selena Gomez in it D:

9. What are the things you wish you could draw better?
Humans and backgrounds and hands and different positions for animals and pretty much anything and everything.

10. Summer or winter?
Winter, since it feels so nice to cuddle under a heating pad, opposed to a fan in summer. It just feels so much more filling.

11. Rain or Sun?
Rain. The sun gives me freckles and the rain feels nice.

12. What's your favorite type of music?
Anything that makes me feel happy.

13. PC or Mac?
Mac. Although it's full of bugs. It's smooth D:

14. Anime or Manga?
Manga on most days, anime on those lazy days of summer.

15. Coke or Pepsi?
Coke.

16. Read or TV?
TV for mindless days, reading for going to sleep.

17. How many hours a day do you spend on DA?
Not too many lately

18. Name a hidden talent
I can talk extremely fast when I'm super excited about something, but that rarely happens around anyone but my daddy.

19. Flash or traditional cartoons?
Flash..!

20. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
None...McDonald's no longer appeals to me.

21. What are top 3 favorite books?
I can't decide! The Itgirl series, anything by Sarah Dessen, the Uglies series, Poseur, etc. etc.

22. Wii or Playstation?
WIIIII

23. Name 3 of your favorite bands?
Goodness. The Bravery, Metrostation, Rooney. -dies-

24. Are you a fast, slow, or medium typer?
I'd say fast, but next to Miranda, I'm downright catatonic.

25. Do you like Denny's?
?

26. What is your favorite emoticon?
Cx

27. What is your favorite type of pie?
I don't like pie, but apple is pleasant.

28. Have you ever stayed up for 24 hours?
Yeah. It was painful, but it came naturally.

29. Do you go on YouTube alot?
YEAH. ITS HORRIBLY ADDICTIVE.

30. Are you a member on any other sites besides DA?
Well, Yahoo. And Twitter. And Octo Oekaki.

31. Do you cosplay?
I WISH.

32. Fruits or sweets?
Fruits!

33. Name 3 artists you admire?
Da Vinci for certain, as well as Jackson Pollock, and my mommy.

34. Buttered, plain, or salted popcorn?
SALTED.

35. Have you skipped school?
Yeah. But I was coughing up blood.

36. Have you been on a plane?
Mmmhmm. The longest was 16 hours, and the shortest was an hour. Lemme tell you, it felt like a huge waste of money, that one hour.

37. Have you swum in an ocean?
Yes.

38. Have you been iceskating?
YES I can't skate for my life.

39. Favorite vacation spot?
South Korea, Bermuda, Cape Cod, Key West, California, North Carolina, the list goes on and on. I'd wa... ]]> =MonotonePanda http://MonotonePanda.deviantart.com/journal/20972719/ http://MonotonePanda.deviantart.com/journal/20972719/ Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:59:59 PDT ---------------

PS: I like steak.


So. It's official. My Golden Year is ending in a few hours. :C It's so incredibly depressing. I wish I had a few more days, weeks, months, etc.

I'm turning 15 tomorrow! And it's pajama day at school, so no uncomfortable jeans! And I finished my essay, so no essay writing on my birthday!

I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel, now that I'm turning 15. It feels surreal; I want to be 14 forever. 14 has been the best year of my life, and I really don't want it to end. Maybe I'll just pretend I'm 14. c:

In other news...well, there really is no other news. Betty is getting better, Gina is being moody, and the parental units are good. Mommy and I got in a couple of fights a few days ago, but we're chummy now.

Erg. Alright, despite my impending birthday, I'm feeling really optimistic about life. Lately, I've been typing "Eeeeee" everywhere, as a squeal of excitement.

I'm saying it's the voice of my soul and that I'm excited for life. C:

I'm living here now: [link]

Dear ,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our affair is over. I think I realized it when I quoted Santa at the mental hospital and I saw you carve your initials into my avocado plant. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand how awful I've felt. I'm returning the pictures from LA to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I never openly mocked our friendship.

Greetings to your freaky family,
Tony

EEE TAGGED HUN<3
[link]

PS: I like steak.

I cleaned out my gallery today, and I feel so refreshed and new and such. Took out excessive stuff, etc. etc. I'm also starting the 100 themes thing again. I know, it seems so old, considering it started years ago, but I really want to do it. Kinda. Sorta.

Um, I'll list it later, since I'm too lazy to do it now, and my dad is breathing down my neck to go to bed.

I've been feeling really good lately. High school is fun, the homework is a bit overwhelming sometimes, but I get it done. My friends are awesome...okay I should go to bed now he's glaring at me

OKAYTHNXBYE.

CSS Layout for Leopold! I really hope you like it, hun. <3

Um, this is another separator. C:

I've been going absolutely crazy because literally overnight, Betty started slowing down. It takes her a really long time to get up from sitting/lying down, and she rarely sprints or runs anymore. She's also having a lot of trouble getting up the hill she's usually bounding straight over. I think it's because of those blasted Greenies that we've been binge-feeding her lately. D: But anyways, I got really mopy and depressed because I just wanted to see my baby running around with that demented grin of hers XD So after I moped around for a good deal of time (e.g. 2 days), I finally got around to announcing the death of the Greenies and biscuits once and for all, and broke out the tofu and began walking her a few yards at a time, giving her a small spoonful everytime she came to me. C: I finally saw her sprint for a few seconds, then gulp down the tofu like a mad dog.

Yeah. Hopefully I'll get off my lazy butt and help my dog to lose her weight and maybe get her energy back (I'm also hoping that her slowness is just because of her intolerance for heat. It's been really hot lately).

Anyways, on a happier note, my Pop Rocks came in the mail on Friday morning! Strawberry and Watermelon. They are so delicious!~ I gave some to my friends, too. But only a little.

Tip: When eating pop rocks slowly to savor, to avoid the gross stickiness they usually get, just pour them into a bowl, whip out an abnormally small spoon, and start snacking!

High school has been like a dream. It's so fun, which I'm kind of surprised about. I mean, the classes can get really dull, and the intimidating upperclassmen that tower over my almost 5 foot stature can get kind of frightening, but overall, the multiple free periods per day and ability to just talk to my friends for extended periods of time is really great. The only thing is..

those damn staircases. I swear, they are really crippling. Walking up and down, and since freshmen are kind of banished to the basement, it gets difficult. I barely have any muscles at all, and trying not to get trampled while getting to class on time is challenging :B

Otherwise, I'm pretty good. A little drained, but nothing a good dosage of chocolate milk and steak can't cure.

My cousin from S Korea, Robert (Boby) came over on Saturday and is staying for a whole 10 days! I'm really excited, since he's like my bestie and we're really close. He's here to go on some interviews to different boarding schools, since he's coming back from S Korea next summer. I hope that he doesn't get into any of them so that he can come back to my school for high school tho (mean?). He would really love it. Or hate it. Either one <3

So, yes. My stomach tube will be coming out in winter break hopefully (I know I've been saying that pretty much every single day of my life), but yeah.

ALSO
I HIT 88 POUNDS..!!!!
I so happy. (And I'm a 1/4 inch away from 5 feet)

But anyways. I got a tb testing
and
I'm negative!!!!!

(You have no idea how happy I am about that. I was sincerely afraid I had it)

Wow, this journal is turning out super duper stylishly random. But that's okay. c: Bye!

Question of the Day:

What was the last thing you doodled on homework/paper/handouts/bookmarks? Let me know!

(Btw mine was a pair of lips. Random??)

I just ordered

36 packs of Pop Rocks online.




I'm so excited!!!!




In other news, classes officially start tomorrow, and I'm kind of nervous.

That's all for now. How is everyone??

School is beginning on Wednesday, so I'm determined to enjoy my last couple of days of summer. It's definitely flown by, but it's been a perfect summer. I've really reflected, rejuvenated, and I feel much better about myself and my life. My parents' relationship has strengthened, and I feel like I've matured a ton.

I know I haven't been around, but I guess I've been busy with reflection, taking care of my mommy, the dogs, and all of the relatives that have been over. Let me tell you, it's been a major family reunion all summer, which has been good for me. I've just been living, you know? Eating, breathing, playing with the dogs, and joking with my parents.

Korea was amazing, and no matter how grown up Boby (pretty much my little brother) tried to be, at the end of the day, we were as close as when we were little and played Pokemon make-believe in my basement.

OMG GOSSIP GIRL PREMEIRE NOWWWWWWWW

Anyways, I've had such an amazing summer, that I'm almost excited for school. I've missed you guys so much, and I hope to upload some refs and new characters and art once I get my bearings in high school.

HOW'VE YOU GUYS BEEN?!?!?! <33333

Last night, I was really mad at my dad because he was just being really close-minded, calling my mom stupid and saying that he loves me more than her (gosh, that's sweet, but...it's kind of bad). Anyways, I was giving him the cold shoulder last night, and when he woke me up this morning, I kind of shooed him away and told him to leave. (I don't think I really was mad...I guess I wanted to hear him apologize or something). He kind of chuckled, like I was cute, and he left. I went back to sleep, and I was woken up like, 5 minutes later when my mom was freakishly screaming into her phone to my aunt in China...yeah. I got really upset, so she came in and closed the door....um....then 10 minutes later I heard her screaming on the phone again and noticed that my door had swung open by itself. I was about to scream at her again when she ran into the room and told me my dad was in a car accident.

Oh, wait. He wasn't hurt or anything.
For that fraction of a second, my stomach dropped and all the blood in my brain drained down to my feet.

You know, every single time I get mad at my dad, and he leaves for work or to go to sleep, I always wonder in the back of my mind if that's the last time I'm going to see him. It's been like that ever since I was little. But last night and this morning, those were the few times that I didn't think that in the back of my mind. In fact, I haven't been thinking like that very much anymore. -self realization-

Well, anyways, apparently there was a car that crashed into another car on the highway, and a woman in another car tried to avoid them by swerving right. Unfortunately, my dad was to the right of her, so he tried to avoid her by swerving to the right. And she hit him. Kind of unfortunate, no? Good thing he was in a 4x4.

So anyways, it hasn't seriously hit me that he got into a car accident. Maybe it'll kick in when he gets home (the police said they'll fix stuff and he can go to work).

So. Yeah. That was the adventure for a lifetime, eh?

Anyways, I'm really sorry for updating with a piece of news like this. I promise on my life that I'll start my art again. Art block is like......controlling me behind my eyes or something.
I have more to say, but I'm going to hug my mumsy. <3

I started my PSAT classes today. It really wasn't too bad besides the fact that I was the youngest there. Cx Even the teacher looked surprised. lD I can't believe I have homework, though. Quite a summer this is turning out to be. Plus, it's all high school level, so I have to keep up with everything and try not to get wigged out by all the 'essays on the SATs will look like this' and 'the SAT will usually have 25 extra points on the experimental section while the PSAT doesn't have an experimental section' talk.

Tomorrow and the next day, I'm going out with some friends! Finally, some normalcy!

I'll get around to finishing this CSS >< I willllll....

And now
I am going to go work on my homework

PS: I'm getting a new cell phone!~ Happy daysss~

This biatch is the cause of everyone's art blocks: No jk xD

I haven't been drawing too much lately, but I guess I've just been taking a break. I can feel the art block is going to end in a week or so. :B HOW IS EVERYONE??? IM WATCHING EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND AND PLAYING PEARL!

For those of you who have all the free time in the world because of summertime, here's an anime you should check out: it's called Myself; Yourself, and it's incredibly sad and funny and amazing. I started and finished it today, and it was the best! (I just wish it was longer. 13 episodes)

I found this under my bed.

Your real name: Alex
Age: 14
Height: 5 feet! -squee-
Natural hair colour: Black (or dark dark brown, if you're nitpicky)
Eye colour: Brown
Skin color: Uhhh yellow. -azn'd-
Glasses/contacts?: Not yet
Piercings: in my ears..
Tattoos: YEAH. Oh, you mean permanent?
Braces: NOT YET -dreading-
Mannerisms: Uhh I get hyper..a lot..and......................play video games and get lonely and..fidget xD
Other distinctive markings: Schtoopid birthmark over my upper lip that looks retarded

FAVOURITE
Colour: Pale blue
Band: IDK my bff jill
Video game: Anything on the Wii (Pokemans?)
Movie: Alvin and the Chipmunks
Book: Yotsuba&!
Food: Brownies
Game on a cell phone: Sims
CD: Erm...Vivaldi
Flower: -hasn't given this much thought- Your classic red roses? Or daffodils
Scent: Home after a long trip
Animal: Elephants, dogs
Comic book: Uhhhh STUFF
Cereal: Frosted Flakes: THEY'RE MOARRR THAAAN GOOOOD: THEY'RE GRRRRRRATE!
Website: DeviantART, Youtube
Cartoon: Tom and Jerry

DO YOU
Play an instrument?: Violin
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?: Probably
Like to sing?: Yeah
Have a job?: No 8D
Have a cell phone?: Yeah
Like to play sports?: Only dance
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Hahaha I wish
Have a crush on someone?: Not anymoar ;___;
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?: IN YOUR MIND...UNLESS YOU LIVE IN THE USA >>
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?: -counts on fingers- Noo
Have any special talents/skills?: I CAN...get over jet lag in one day
Exercise daily?: Pshhh no
Like school?: Pshhh no

CAN YOU
Sing the alphabet backwards?: No
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?: Yeah
Speak any other languages?: Kinda
Go a day without food?: Yeah
Remember your dreams: Yeah
Read music, not just tabs?: Yup
Roll your tongue?: Noo
Eat a whole pizza?: NO

HAVE YOU EVER
Won something in the lottery?: No
Snuck out of the house?: xD Yes
Lied to get out of trouble?: Maybe >>
Had a computer crash?: YEAH STUPID MAC
Gotten lost in your city?: Yes. Numerous times.
Seen a shooting star?: No D: Which is why none of my dreams come true. Oh no wait that's cause I'm friends with this poo:
Been to any other countries?: Yeah
Had a serious surgery?: Yes
Stolen something important to someone else?: No
Solved a rubiks cube?: OMG NO. I TRIED BUT FAILED.
Gone out in public in your pajamas?: Yes.
Cried over a girl?: Yes
Cried over a boy?: Yes
Kissed a random stranger?: No
Hugged a random stranger?: Yes
Been in a fist fight?: No
Been arrested?: No
Done drugs?: No
Had alcohol?: just a sip from mumsy's cup
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?: No
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?: Yeahhhh
Sneaked into the opposite sex's bathroom?: Yeah all stealth-like
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?: nnonoo
Swore at your parents?: No
Kicked a guy where it hurts?: No
Been to a casino?: no
Ran over an animal and killed it?: NOOOOO
Broken a bone?: no
Gotten stitches?: yes
Had a water balloon fight in winter?: no
Made homemade muffins?: no
Bitten someone?: MAYBE
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?: Yes
Burped in someone’s face?: No

WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth: this morning
Cried: Umm yesterday when Betty ate a rat.
Went to the bathroom: Um this morning
Saw a movie in a theatre: Kung Fu Panda ; ;
Read a book: At dinner
Had a snow day: A WHILE AGO.
Had a party: OH GOSH. A WHILE AGO.
Went to a doctor: OH MY GOD. 5 FREAKING MONTHS AGO. HOW HAPPY AM I?!?!
Tripped in front of someone:....five minutes ago...
Went to the grocery store: A coupla weeks?
Got sick: A month and a half ago
Got cursed: Agh. Two minutes ago.
Called someone: Yesterday

DO YOU PREFER
Fruit/vegetables: Fruit... ]]> =MonotonePanda http://MonotonePanda.deviantart.com/journal/19262601/ http://MonotonePanda.deviantart.com/journal/19262601/ Mon, 07 Jul 2008 20:41:49 PDT ---------------

Art Trades- (closed)
Art Requests- (closed)

Countdown: 12 hours, 15 minutes

I'm so scared now that the plane is going to crash into the ocean. Or we'll explode. Or a tragic reenactment of snakes on a plane. Call me stupid, but the nerves are just getting to me. Nothing has been going according to plan, and whenever I let my guard down, disaster always strikes. A huge commotion came with getting the dogs to the car and everything when we were getting them to the kennel. After I had calmed down, I took a nice relaxing shower and settled down to watch some tv. After about an hour, I heard my mom calling me from the front door. The kennel had closed at 3. She had gotten there at 4:30. Woo. So, the dogs are still here, and my dad has to bring the dogs to the kennel on Monday. Gragh.

I'm seriously terrified that I'm going to die.

Seriously.

Countdown: 2 days

I'm past the boiling point. My trip to Korea is all that fills my mind right now: thinking about all the crap that comes with going to the plane, sitting on the plane for 14 hours, the chaos of getting off the plane, and getting to the apartment. Plus, all the unfamiliarity of it all. Sure, I've been going there every year for a while, I'm just not emotionally ready to go there! My mom is getting sick (in the graphic way), all drugged up and unresponsive. She's just no good at dealing with stress. She's not ready to go, either. My dad is being a selfish, cold poopyhead. He complains so much when he has to take care of my mom, and he loses his patience in the blink of an eye. He's so selfish that he can't even think about my mom's arthritis, or the fact that she's stressed out enough. Plus, he should know that when he's lecturing her about dealing with stress, she's so drugged up that she can't even hear what he's saying. God.

There's so much shit I still have to do. None of my stuff is packed, there are still some things I need to buy, we have to drop the dogs off at the kennel tomorrow, and I have to keep both my parents happy. I would do anything for a miracle that would make the flight cancelled, like a freak snowstorm or something.

With a little positive thinking, maybe I'll be able to get through this. I'll try to journal again tomorrow, or right before I leave on Sunday. Wish me luck!

ALSO. MEGA IMPORTANCE.

It would help me a lot if I felt better about the flight. So, any SONGS, BOOKS, MOVIES, or etc I might want for the flight???? PLEASE let me know!

Countdown to going to Korea: 5 days! :U
I'm slightly fed up with my mom. She can't go 15 minutes without mentioning something about Korea, Korean people, Asia in general, Korean culture, and the like. Plus, I just found out this morning that three days after I get to Korea, I have to hop on a train to visit my grandparents and 10 other adults and stay in a city a bajillion miles away. Ugh. The only reason why I'm going there is to spend time with my cousins, but everyone seems to forget that because I'm in different country. Just because I'm in a different country, it doesn't mean I want to go sight-seeing or anything. I just want to spend time with my cousins, whom I haven't seen in a full year. Being pulled around the country for meetings and such is not what I want at all. Also, I'm nervous to leave my dogs at a kennel for a full month.

Tomorrow is my middle school graduation. I have a pretty dress that has subtle polka dots on it, and it's like a shapeless sack that I love. C: Maybe I'll take a picture tomorrow...? I wasn't at school for the second rehearsel, so hopefully I don't screw up the whole ceremony.

We had a pool party at an ex-friend's house today. It was okay, although I didn't go in the water at all because I forgot to put some waterproof stuff on my stomach tube. >:U

Every time I think about either going to Korea, the flight, packing, how my diet will change, and graduation, my stomach flips over a few times and I get all tingly. Meep.

That's all for now. I'll seeya! C:

Other Notes:

I need things to preoccupy me on the flight. Have you guys got any books, music, mangas, or methods for keeping electronics alive after long periods of time that you might suggest? PLEASE let me know!

Art Trades- (closed)
Art Requests- (closed)

Oh, gosh. It's been so long since I updated my journal, and I know I haven't replied to any replies in a while. But you know...final exams and everything...-bad excuse-

A lot has happened. I've been busy having a life, or lack there of. Tonight was my end-of-the-year dance/mock prom! It was okay. Although my friends and I were kind of standing around awkwardly while migrating from one side of the room to the other, towards the end, it got really fun. Sure, I'm slightly deaf, and Kayla never did get permission to sleepover, but in a way, I'm glad. Slipping into my pajamas, slathering Neosporin on my bad knee scrape from this morning, and turning on Mean Girls is pretty fun. Being an only child, I'm happier being alone. c:

I'm pretty content with my life right now. School is ending on Wednesday (so early!), and I'm leaving for Korea on the 8th!! The end of this year has just rushed by. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was in the middle of my school year. God.

My finals ended this morning. I feel pretty good about them. Even though I made myself sick by barely sleeping from all the studying and I'm right now coughing a lot, I'm really proud of myself. At the dance, my math teacher pulled me aside and told me that I got an 100 on my math final!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God I'm so happy about it. This means that I get into Honors math next year! (I don't actually want to get into honors math, but if I don't, my mom will guilt me into four hours of tutoring per week. It made her really happy when I told her, so that's good enough for me.)

Gina and Betty are on a new diet that's actually working! Gina gets some tofu with her food, and Betty gets carrots. They love it, and Betty now has a legitimate neck! She's been showing it off constantly, stretching her head out and strutting around. Hahaha, she's such a little show girl. Maybe I'll upload some pictures later.

I went to Staples today, and I got some awesome stuff! I got:

Highlighters in rainbow colors
Sticker paper! Finally!!
About a bajillion mechanical pencils that are diguised as traditional pencils
Some pens
The first ever Sharpie pens! (I sniffed them to see if they stink. They don't.)
A black and white post it cube with flowers

I went to the bookstore and got a FireRed/LeafGreen guidebook! So, I've been training up my Pokemans. Did you know that there's a completely different region in the game?! You can get pokemon from Gold/Silver in it!!! I had a bit of a revelation when I found that out. Gosh.

Also, I've been reunited with my DS games. Pokemon Trozei and Nintendogs are being brought back into my life.

I'm slipping back into my video games phase, just in time before I get reunited with my cousins.

I've been gaining weight, having fun, being cool. c: And now, a quiz. Gosh, I've missed these! I promise promise PROMISE to be more active. Nothing's holding me back now! -hug- <3333

1) Answer the questions below
2) Take each answer and type it into the dA search box
3) Take a deviation from the first page of results (may use ' popular' or 'newest' ) and post thumb (for subscribers) or link (non-subscribers)
4) You can't copy the persons answers who posted this before you



1. The age you will be on your next birthday



2. A place you'd like to travel



3. Your favorite place



4. Your favorite object



5.... ]]> =MonotonePanda http://MonotonePanda.deviantart.com/journal/18247058/ http://MonotonePanda.deviantart.com/journal/18247058/ Fri, 09 May 2008 18:56:50 PDT ---------------

Just testing out my new CSS. I still have to add an image and such, but I want to make sure this stays saved. c: Still not done! Making CSS layouts is so complicated.

Art Trades- (closed)
Art Requests- (closed)