deviantART: by:Ms-internet-stalker http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Ms-internet-stalker&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Ms-internet-stalker en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 20 Dec 2009 19:32:27 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png It's all good. http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/28856524/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/28856524/ Wed, 09 Dec 2009 23:54:56 PST I'd like to announce to the world that I am fan-bloody-tastic.

10 things you want for Christmas:
books! good ones!
music... cuz I'm tired of the shit I own.
a musical playback device (my old one died)
dA laptop bag, it's just spiffy
hands to hold
a dressform
an antique sewing machine (even better than a dressform..)
brown flat shoes
zippo maintainence items (flint, wick, lighter fluid.. yeah)

9 musicians/bands you love:
Beatles, of course
Pine Hill Haints <3333
Postal Service O.o
Panic! at the Disco
Frederic Chopin :3
Hellogoodbye
William Control
The Sex Pistols
Shiny Toy Guns
(My music taste has changed a LOT)

8 things you do everyday:
worry
refuse to wake up
obsess
ignore cleaning
ignore homework
criticize myself
knit
daydream

7 things you enjoy:
hugs
sleepy phone conversations
holding hands
boys who make me laugh
criticizing hipsters
knitting
almost sort-of having a chance

6 things that will always win your heart:
people who understand
fibre (yarn, fabric, raw silk/wool/cotton/whatever)
musicians
clear eyes
the unattainable
people who take my hand


5 favourites:
Movie: Currently? Marie-Antoinette
Song: Oh my goodness... that's impossible.
Such Great Heights- The Postal Service
Book: ................... O.o Crazy person.
Food: anything of Indian origin
Season: Autumn

4 smells you enjoy:
o.o I like the way guys smell after showering.
fresh roses (the real ones)
ylang-ylang/myrrh
smoking dragon's blood

3 places you want to go:
London
The general U.K (after going back to London)
The middle east

2 Favorite Holidays
Imbolg
people's birthdays

1 person you’d marry on the spot:
Thomas.

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker I found the key. http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/25667844/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/25667844/ Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:45:20 PDT
I wanna fuck something up. I want to screw my life away and sell my soul for fifty cents because that's way better than a thousand bucks for a kiss. I want to set fire to something, something real, substantial. Something I can hearseetaste. Something bigger than a stupid fucking regret. Something that I'll miss. Something that I won't miss. Maybe that's my teenager hormones driving me wild. Maybe that's from being stuck in a home both filled and void of love. Maybe that's because I constantly get the underwhelming sense of being alone. Empty. And I want it to fucking burn.

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker yup yup http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/24858138/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/24858138/ Wed, 20 May 2009 14:42:51 PDT
LINK TITLE HERE | LINK TITLE HERE | LINK TITLE HERE


I'm just waiting for the heads to roll.

In other news, I know a few really great people, and I'm glad that school is finally over, save for exams. I don't have to deal with shitloads of people who spread around he-said she-said or deal with all the drama that highschool likes to throw at me. =] Life's good, and I've got some great plans.

Points of interest:
I have a new camera, and she's my ickle baby. <3 I'm taking lots of overdue pictures of clothing I've been doing. I think I'm going to do a tutorial, on building built-in faerie wings. =3

Fifteen days until I'm off to London! If anyone wants to hook up there, or before then, let me know. I'm trying hard to get my plans in order. =]

My upstairs is going to be ripped apart while I'm gone. My tub will now be a shower! =] Not really important, per se, but it's on my mind. The walls are gonna get redone, too, in all rooms.

TTFN =]

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckmotherFUCK http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/24454694/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/24454694/ Sun, 26 Apr 2009 22:11:51 PDT
My best friend was raped.
My best friend was fucking raped.
And her now ex-boyfriend is being a total douche about it.
So now I have to comfort her.
And hear the entire fucking story (which I really can't handle.)
All the while thinking what an asshole he's been (and he also happened to be a good friend of mine, until all this.)
And now, selfish as it is, all I wanna do is sob.
I really wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow.
I have no desire to hear his bitching about how his ex-girlfriend cheated on him.
I have no desire to see her so upset.
I have absolutely no desire to do anything right now except drive by myself to somewhere far away.

It would be nice to run away from all this shit.

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker Well, then, I guess that's it. http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/23437670/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/23437670/ Fri, 27 Feb 2009 17:27:38 PST
Things are... strange, right now. Very strange. It's warmer, which is good. I'm coming out of my shell and doing the things I used to love to do, again. That's good. Even so, I guess that very naive stupid part of me resists being happy with all of its might. I still feel... numb, a lot of the time. My feelings for a lot of people have changed lately, and things about myself have changed, too.

Sometimes I really really hope I'm going back to the person I used to be. The one who cared about her image and laughed with the ones she loved, and wasn't a depressed bitch. I want to be the person who didn't get so ingrained into other people's drama. I want to be "that one girl who makes all that noise with her shoes" again.

On the other hand, she was outrageously naive. It was her fault I'm the person I am today. It's not other people's, it's hers. She dug this great gaping hole by understanding too much of the wrong things and not enough of the right ones. It's her fault for being obsessive and doing the many and various stupid things she's done.

But that's digression, and probably needs to be written down on a sheet of paper like all my other personal rants.

I had an empathy attack this morning, and missed school. I'm feeling more and more sensitive as the months go by, which is both awesome and worrisome. I felt so dissociated this morning that my grandmother actually told me to stay home, despite how much school I've missed this year. It was scary. o.o

And.. back to people. I'm feeling lonely again. But now, instead of feeling lonely because I'm shutting people out, it's really just a matter of circumstances that are out of my control. =/ I guess I've been spoiled the last few years with my friends. I'll deal, though. I need more independence in my life, anyways.

I'm driving now. It feels absolutely wonderful. The only thing I have the brainspace to focus on is the road, and I don't have to over analyze all the things going on around me. My only wish is that I could find more activities that did that.

Speaking of activities, I hope to be able to post actual pictures of recent projects, soon. I'm uploading a few sketches for you in the next couple days, Snidget! And my nymph costume has been completely revamped. I'm making it the centerpiece of my (new) portfolio.

I have the urge to say "fuck you" to a lot of people, lately, but I think I'm keeping that under check. Brownie points for me!!

/randomness

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker London...? http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/22720061/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/22720061/ Wed, 21 Jan 2009 18:17:46 PST It started out as a random joke with my grandmother, and today we just went to the travel agency to look at ticket prices.

It weirds me out, in a way. It seems totally out of the blue, and months away to actually think about. o.0

So yeah. I have to put that out there for the world to know. And in the event that anyone has been there, are there any places I should make sure to check out? I've got ten days to fill. :P

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker my heart feels heavy http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/21425278/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/21425278/ Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:59:17 PST
I feel cluttered. I'm trying to put my all into everything but it just ends up to me being exactly where I was. Everything I feel is selfish, I know. I know I've fucked up a lot of things, and that I don't deserve even a chance to explain myself. I know that at least on one end, things are better this way. But it still sucks, and it still makes me feel unbelievably shitty.

I've been doing so so many things at once. It's like I can't control anything I do anymore. I push myself into one project, find out it's not working out so well, then move on to the next thing, leaving the previous one totally unfinished. It's like I'm in this endless loop and I can't get out.

People are back from the grave, and others have gone to take their places. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know what I want, except for that one unreachable thing. New unwanted options are up and the ones that were wanted have disappeared. It's a clusterfuck, to use Alexander's word.

I'm afraid I don't know what to do with myself these days, and I can't tell if it's because of my own chemical imbalances, the season, or if it's really and truly my situation. I feel weak

I wish for once that SOMETHING made sense to me.

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker surveeeeeyyyyy http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/21224949/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/21224949/ Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:45:25 PDT
There's this survey...

:iconmode-de-vie: assigned me a letter, and I have to list ten things I like starting with that letter. If you comment this, then I'll give you a letter, and you go do the same thing.


My letter is L.
1. laps
2. light
3. lambs
4. letters
5. locks
6. lollipops
7. laughter
8. lavender
9. literacy
10. lists


Trust me. It's not as easy as it sounds.







On another note.... I feel like I'm going in three places at once. Stupid women. >_>
On the plus side... I met someone. I don't know if anything will ever actually happen with us, but.... well, it makes for a good distraction. ^_^
She and I are bonding quite a bit. It adds an air of confusion and contentment to my mood. I've been babbling about her quite a bit to a few people, and that's a good sign. X3

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker This new interface sucks ass. http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/19359180/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/19359180/ Sat, 12 Jul 2008 17:45:05 PDT I'm fed up with deviantART.
This shit's way too annoying.
I hate it.
A lot.
Before you answer, yes, I have spent time poking around.
Doesn't change my opinion at all.

So basically....

Until they either give us the option to change it back, or de-clutter-fy this new crap, I'm gone.

I won't be messaging you.
Unless you contact me somewhere else, I'm not going to go see your artwork.
Those of you who are my actual friends, you'll know how to get a hold of me.

I'll be back once in a while to check on things, but....

yeah.

I'm gone.

:(

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker Song Meme http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/17308639/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/17308639/ Sun, 04 May 2008 14:52:02 PDT :iconwolfie--rawks:

RULES

Step 1: Put your iTunes or equivalent on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Bold out the songs when someone guesses correctly
Step 4: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: The most one person can answer is 7 songs.
Step 6: You have to say the artist too!





1. Somewhere there's speaking, it's already coming in. Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind.

2. Is it very difficult to see why you are the way you are?

3. I am really special 'cuz there's only one of me. Look at my smile I'm so damn happy that people are jealous of me.

4. It took too long, it took too long, it took to long for you to call back, and normally I would just forget that.

5. We don't need no education, we don't need no thought control.

6. (haha, this is embarassing) If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade.

7. So I heard the line down at PMS is really long to use the straightener and shit... I just wanna do some fucking gay in the bathroom

8. Won't you stop following me, should not have invited you here. Yet still that face I do see, it's drawing increasingly near.

9. Are you blind, blind to me trying to be kind? Volunteering for firing line...

10. Thought I ran into you down on the street.. then it turned out to only be a dream

11. I can't escape this hell.... so many times I've tried...

12. He's a real nowhere man, sitting in his nowhere land

13. Picture yourself on a boat on a river, with tangerine trees, and marmalade skies

14. Whisper in the dark.. she's from the other side.. howlin in the night.. down from the mountainside

15. Drivin away from the wreck of the day, and the light's always red in the rearview

16. All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces...

17. Pain without love.. Pain, I can't get enough.. Pain I like it rough..

18. Oh come all you young lads, wherever you are, ooh place your weary heart...

19. Monday morning wake up knowing that you gotta go to school, tell your mom what to expect..

20. You're a part time lover and a full time friend, the monkey on your back is the latest trend..

21. Well I ain't got no use for your red rockin' chair I ain't got no sugar baby now...

22. She's a rebel, she's a saint, she's the salt of the earth and she's dangerous

23. Moonlight holler at a Mississippi crossroads.. alien abduction.. see the light up through the trees... alien abduction...

24. Hey! Ho! Just around the corner, I'll be waiting there for you.. Cold still in my arms.. better run it down the devil's backbone..

25. Here it comes, eleven fifty nine, ghost train, ghost train, ain't never seen that train again....



It was unbelievably hard not to fill this up with Beatles songs and obscure southern bands.. o_o;;;;

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker Blah. http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/16474160/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/16474160/ Sat, 19 Jan 2008 11:48:35 PST
But I'm all... lacking in creativity.

Yeah.
Whatever.
Have fun with that. XD

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker Devious Journal Entry http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/15120339/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/15120339/ Thu, 18 Oct 2007 19:06:24 PDT [ ] Black = $100
[ ] Blonde = $50
[ ] Red = $75
[x] Brown = $15
[ ] Bald = $5
[ ] Other=$2

Total: $15

Eye Color:
[x] Brown - $150
[ ] Green - $75
[ ] Blue $50
[ ] Hazel $100
[ ] Other - $15

Total so far: $165
I'm cheap. LOL

Height:
[ ] Over 7' - $200
[ ] 6'8" to 7' - $175
[ ] 6'0" to 6'7" - $150
[ ] 5'5" to 5'11" - $75
[x]4'9" to 5'4" - $50
[ ] Under 4'9 - $45

Total so far: $215

Age:
[ ] 41 to 50 - $150
[ ] 31 to 40 - $100
[ ] 26 to 30 - $75
[ ] 21 to 25 - $50
[] 19 to 20 - $25
[x] 0 to 18 - $100

Total so far: $315

Birth Order:
[ ] Twins or more than twins - $300
[ ] First Born - $300
[ ]Only Child - $250
[x] second born - $150
[ ] Middle child - $100
[ ] Last Born - $200
[ ] third born - $100
[ ] fourth born - $100
[ ] fifth born-$375

Total so far: $465
I dunno, I checked two but I only added the Last Born...

Drink?
[x] No - $400
[ ] Only Holidays - $250
[ ] Sometimes - $215
[ ] YES - $200
[ ] only weekends - $300
[ ] Every other day - $50
[ ] Once a day - $15
[ ] I live from the bottle

Total so far: $865

Vision?
[ ] perfect vision $300
[x] need or have glasses/contacts but don't wear them $200
[ ] No correction $100
[ ] Glasses $50
[ ] contacts $25
[ ] Surgical correction -$135

Total so far:$1065

Car Color [or familes' car(s)]:
[2x] White - $2,000
[ ] Maroon - $800
[ ] Gold - $700
[ ] Gray - $600
[ ] Blue - $900
[ ] Pink - $475
[ ]Black - $450
[ ] Red - $400
[ ] Green- $350
[2x] Silver $300
[ ] Purple- $250
[x] Metallic - $200
[ ] Yellow - $100
[ ] Primer - $75
[ ] Tan- $20
[ ] Rusted - $15
[ ] No Car - $0

Total score:$5865
(There are currently a LOT of cars in our driveway. :P)

Shoe Size:
[ ] 13+ - $300
[]12 and a half to 13 - $250
[ ] 11 to 12 - $700
[ ] 7 to 10 - $600
[x] Under 7- $550

Total so far: $6415

Favorite Colors (three):
[ ] Green-$750
[x] Black - $600
[x] Red - $800
[ ] Yellow -$475
[ ] Brown - $50
[ ] Purple - $225
[x] White - $400
[ ] Aqua - $350
[ ] Orange - $300
[ ] Blue - $300
[ ] Pink - $100
[ ] Other - $ 50

Total so far: $8215

Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
[ ] Yes - $0
[x] No - $1000
[ ] on some - $750

Total so far:$9215

How many people are you going to tag?
[ ] 100-150 = 250,000
[ ] 90 - 80 = $100,000
[ ] 70 -60 = $50,000
[ ] 50 - 40 = $10,000
[ ] 30 - 20 = $5,000
[ ] 20 - 10 = $1,000
[x] 10 - 1 = $500

Total so far : $9715
Now add your number of pageviews : $559

Total: $10,274

Wow.... I'm REALLY expensive. XDXD Who wants meh?

Tag: :iconkuder: :iconlilacgold: :iconblue-eyed-snidget:

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker Something to challenge me... http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/13940949/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/13940949/ Sun, 30 Sep 2007 21:12:33 PDT I need more friends. >__>

On a higher note, I've got a HUUGE pile of caution tape in my room, waiting to be played with. XD

Soo.. here's my list:

1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Rot
6. Break
7. Heaven
8. Away
9. Cut- WIP
10. Breathe
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Spit
17. Blood
18. Under
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. War
22. Mother
23. Distastefull
24. Want
25. Lurking
26. Europe
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Urban
30. Rain
31. Flower
32. Night
33. Wrath
34. Moon
35. Walk
36. Precious
37. See
38. Abandoned
39. Dream
40. 4:29 PM
41. Citric Acid
42. Still
43. Die
44. Two Roads
45. Two Guns
46. Drop
47. Dirt
48. Young
49. Preservatives
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Old
53. Desecrate
54. Tower
55. Need
56. Biohazard
57. Sacrificial
58. Kick in the Crotch
59. No Way Out
60. Desert
61. Fairy Tale
62. Voodoo
63. Do Not Disturb
64. City
65. Horrorific
66. Snow
67. Drum
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mislead
73. I. Can't.
72. Confrontation
75. Mirror- WIP
76. Broken
77. Testament
78. Drink
79. FUCK
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. +
83. Heal
84. Cold
85. Sick
86. Seeing Red
87. Hunger
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drown
92. Rape
93. Iron
94. Soft
95. Advertisement
96. Storm
97. Safety
98. Puzzle
99. Alone
100. Gone

Found in =FoxNede journal.

AAAND, because I hate disclaimers: Everything linked to in this journal post may also be posted to =100themeschallenge. I'm only saying it once. :P

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker I'm pissed. http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/13932045/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/13932045/ Sun, 29 Jul 2007 19:37:09 PDT
Ya know, I've never really been that much of a political person. Yeah, I had my own opinions, but I never really got hot and bothered about it; it simply isn't my thing. Yeah, I stay current with the news, and NPR is pretty much the only thing on the radio. But today, I find myself actually caring.

Truth is, I'm getting SICK AND TIRED of this -stupid- war. I'm tired of people fighting about it. I'm tired of all these super important presidential speeches that regurgitate the same shit over and over. I'm tired of being told things are going to get better, when congress is deploying even more troops. I'm tired of all the news reports of how many were dead. I'm tired of the fact that I don't even CARE about said news reports anymore.

I mean, how crappy is that? I don't even care that three American soldiers and four Iraqi civilians were killed in a car bomb today. I don't care that seven lives were lost. At all. That's because I hear the same damn thing EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. and I've become numb to it. And that gets me angry.

Those who know me well, know I don't just get a little mad, either. I'm never "a little" anything. I'm always deeply something when it comes to emotions. I love deeply. I get depressed deeply. I get angry deeply. I get stressed deeply. I'm always EXTREMELY ecstatic, never just "happy." So, I'm pissed off like a hell-bitch.

I was watching the news the other night. I'm not sure why, I was just bored out of my mind (whole other topic >_>;). And I saw photos of the VA hospitals, how dirty and rodent infested they are. And yes, you guessed it, it pissed me off.

See, my dad was in the national guard. He went to Kuwait during the gulf war. And yup, he sustained injury there. Fractured his spine. And it STILL bugs him like mad. So I'm well aware of how crappy the VA is already. Did you know, they have to pay benefits to someone who gets discharged, and diagnosed with PTSD, but DON'T have to pay if they get diagnosed with a personality disorder? Yeah, it's f*cked up. Thousands of soldiers who've fought over there, risked their lives, aren't getting the treatment they deserve. And now, the lucky ones who do get treatment? They get it in these virulent, substandard "hospitals".

And all the while, congress sends more and more troops each day, only to have those lucky enough to come back alive sent to these places. Now, I have a question. Why, WHY do people continually put these idiots back into their positions? I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that MAYBE we wouldn't have to worry about under-funded hospitals that are freaking out because of survival rates, if we actually stopped sending soldiers to the slaughter house. And MAYBE, if we had taken that money for more troops, and put it back in the hospitals, care would come back up to something reasonable. I mean, a CHILD could get these concepts.

Why are we even IN Iraq anyways?? I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Bin Laden supposed be somewhere in Afghanistan??? Yes, I'll gladly give it to you. Saddam Hussein was a jackass of a dictator who needed to be taken down. BUT, it wasn't our problem. There wasn't a reason in the world for us to go in after him, and completely destroy everything in Iraq in the process. It's a no wonder nobody trusts their leaders anymore.

Gah. Fuck government. >_> I say move to Canada.

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker My boom in postings http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/13916806/ http://Ms-internet-stalker.deviantart.com/journal/13916806/ Sat, 28 Jul 2007 16:49:16 PDT .<

Anyways, if you want to see all this and even MORE (although most of the more is crap) go to allpoetry.com/tahirih-luv2sew.

]]> ~Ms-internet-stalker