http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:MurderGoddess&section=today deviantART RSS for by:MurderGoddess en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 07 Dec 2009 15:21:16 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/28734176/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/28734176/ Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:11:05 PST
We rant about random stuff, from everyday problems to hot topics in the news. Recently, we are working on our rants for the Twilight series and rants on the new deployment of troops to Afghanistan. We'll accept questions as well. We give advice, and you just might see an answer to one of your questions on our blog.

Twitter: [link]
Blog: [link]

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/27751831/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/27751831/ Tue, 13 Oct 2009 19:21:16 PDT
If you want more info on my homeschooling reasons and the like, look at these two journals on my main account: [link] [link]

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/26978325/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/26978325/ Wed, 02 Sep 2009 13:57:53 PDT

Can you commit to one person?
Yep

Do you prefer people who talk a lot or are quiet?
Depends on if I just wanna talk or a need a listener

Could you go a month without talking to your best friend?
No!!

Are there any bruises on your body that are the result of your own stupidity?
Probably

What's your best class in school?
Psychology

Where is your phone?
On the bed, charging

What color did you last paint your nails?
Oh lord, it's been a while. I think black?

Has a guy/girl sat on your bed before?
Yep

Is it more common for you to follow your heart or your mind?
Heart, unfortunately

Do you and your best friend look alike?
lol no

Would you ever get a tattoo?
Yeah, I want one

Last thing you spent money on?
i think a soda?

Do you think age matters in relationships?
Depends on how old. For me. For anyone else? To each his own.

How old is the oldest person on your MySpace top friends?
ummmm, 17? or 16 I don't remember if Kacy's had his b-day yet...

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
nope

Who do you have texts from in your inbox?
Amanda, Kacy, Steph, Kelsey, Mom

What was the last thing someone bought for you?
i... don't... remember? I think it was a mouse for my laptop?

Are you a social person?
Somewhat

Who did you last take a picture with?
Oh lord, I think... Becca?

What's one fear are you most paranoid about?
I can't remember

Have you ever been in love?
Unfortunately

Coffee or alcohol?
I would never drink alcohol. I hate coffee and I'd rather have that.

Have you ran into an old friend recently?
Well, Kacy has been my friend for 10 years, so technically he's an old friend, but I see him at school

Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower?
Yep

How bad are heartbreaks?
Killer

Has an ex ever wanted you back after they left you?
yep and we dated and he broke up with me

What summer will you never forget?
none

Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
nope

What were you doing at 4:00 AM?
sleeping

Are you a jealous person?
I can be

What are your plans for tomorrow?
Go to school

What are your plans for tonight?
sleep

Do you have strange dreams?
Holy hell yes

Would you rather get flowers or a stuffed animal for Valentine's Day?
If they were daises or roses, then flowers. Otherwise, stuffed animal.

Be honest; who's the easiest person in your life to talk to?
Kacy and Becca

When was the last time you were in a very good mood?
earlier today

Is there a friend of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Yep

Have you ever eaten a crayon?
Not to my knowledge

Are you the kind of person that's afraid to cry in public?
Afraid? No, I just REALLY don't like to. Now, I am afraid to cry in front of the guy I like.

Have you ever been rejected by someone you really liked?
Every time but once

Are you one to copy off someone or do the work?
Yep I just had to copy notes yesterday

Have you ever fallen for someone out of your league?
I always do

Do you have any weird habits you want to mention?
I have this problem where I have to organize crayons/markers/coloring pencils with cool colors on the left, warm colors on the right, and neutrals in the middle.

Have you ever been tied up by someone you didn't know?
wtf? No

How many times have you peed today?
twice, surprisingly

Do you understand what life has to give?
nope

Are you one that reads or writes just for the joy of it?
Most definitely

Do you enjoy singing in front of people, or just yourself?
I'm shy lol but I've been told I can sing well

Have you ever had a song stuck in your head for more than a day?
omfg yes

Have you ever had someone really close to you... ]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/26389561/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/26389561/ Tue, 04 Aug 2009 20:34:05 PDT

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/25824386/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/25824386/ Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:47:35 PDT DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILER ENSUES

I so want to write a bunch of HP fanfics. lol

Is it bad that I think Severus and Lily would have made a better pairing than James and Lily? I feels so bad for Sevvy *hugs him*

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/25782734/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/25782734/ Mon, 06 Jul 2009 20:00:57 PDT
Been in the mood to write more on my dragon story. But there's a lot of creatures I want to create for it, which is what I'm working on now.

Slowly working on C.3 of RTCL.

My aunt died a couple weeks ago. All of a sudden it turned out she had cancer and like a week later, she died. It was so weird. And it scares me because there's cancer on both my mom and dad's side of the family, so it's possible for me to get it. It's been making me question my life and everything....

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/25395846/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/25395846/ Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:43:43 PDT Mood: depressed

I'm going to probably be writing more. There's some serious stuff going on, and when there is, I tend to write to almost escape to another world. And it helps.

So, idk, I just wanted to say that.

Clubs



]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/25381674/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/25381674/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 20:20:19 PDT

1. Do you sleep in your bra?
Usually

2. Do you enjoy drama?
no

3. Are you a girly girl?
Sometimes, it depends on my mood

4. Who was the last person you hugged?
My daddy

5. Small or large purses?
large

6. Are you short?
nope, 6 ft. even

7. Do you like somebody
unfortunately

8. What would you do if someone smacked your butt?
Be really confused like the one time it did happen

9. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
nope

10. Do you dress up on Halloween?
yesh

11. Are you double jointed?
nope

12. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
in the back seat of a van crowded with around 4 or 5 other people in the back seat alone

13. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
Nope

15. Do you call anybody by their last name?
nope, other than teachers

16. How many guys will read this just because it says "Girl Confessions"?
idk cuz I didn't put that xP

"X" Marks the Spot:
[x] I do wear make up
[ ] I have cried at a movie theater.
[x] I can put mascara on without opening my mouth.
[X] I get jealous.
[X] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.
[X] I love to laugh.
[X] I like death/grind/black metal.
[X] I like country.
[x] I carry a purse.
[x] I’d be lost without my computer.
[ ] I own a Spice Girls CD.
[x] I own a Britney Spears CD.
[ ] I own a boy band CD.
[x] I get bored watching football.
[x] I’ve never been called a spoiled brat.
[X] Guys are confusing. (OMFG YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS)
[X] I’ve been called a bad influence.
[ ] I have/had a piercing other than my ears.

1. What color is your bra that your wearing?
white

2. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?
darker

3. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS UNBELIEVABLY

4. Do you have a best friend(s)?
Yep

5. Have you ever had your heart broken?
yes... too many times...

6. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
yep

7. Do you like your life?
nope

8. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you?
nope, tried, but failed and we're enemies now

9. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
i think so

10. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
girls

11. How long have you had Facebook?
i don't have one

12. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?
lol no but i need to

13. What are your biggest fears?
bees, heights

14. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
yeah...

15. Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?
i still can't

16. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a
cheater”?
pretty much

17. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
yeah, usually is wrong

18. Do you ever wish you were famous?
yep

19. Are you currently missing someone?
yeah, but i shouldn't

This guy or that guy?:
that guy

Punk/Goth or Gangster?:
either one

Preppy or Cowboy?:
Cowboy

Face or Body?:
Both

Sweet or Sexy?:
if I had to choose? sweet

Well-educated or Dropout?:
well-ed

Blue, Green, Grey, or Brown eyes?:
dark brown, black, dark gray, or very bright blue

Contacts or Glasses:
Glasses

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/25316814/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/25316814/ Sun, 14 Jun 2009 20:15:33 PDT not have summer school. Thank you god!

I HAVE A CAR! AND MY PERMIT! It's so freaking cool, I've only driven on the highway for the second time, but both times it was for an hour. It is so freaking fun!! I love my new car. It's a '95 Plymouth Acclaim. It's got a couple things wrong with it, but they're fixable. I love it sooo much!

Oh, and I know I haven't been updating with too much other than a couple of poems lately. Don't worry, I'm planning to fix that soon. I'm gonna work on a Harry Potter fanfic. Yesh, I am a HP nerd. lol oh well expect the first chappy sometime soon.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/24943547/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/24943547/ Mon, 25 May 2009 13:33:00 PDT Oh well, I'll just have to smack myself and get on with it....

Anyway..... what would you guys think about a harry potter fanfic? I wrote quite a few a few years back, when I first started writing for fun.... Which would have been around four years ago. They sucked and I don't think I'll be able to rest until I do at least one fanfic that does the original some sort of justice. It'll be placed after Voldemort's death and everything. Scorpius is my new toy now that Draco is married xD

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/24654533/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/24654533/ Fri, 08 May 2009 16:09:38 PDT all off my stories are on hiatus. I'm not sure when or if they'll be continued. I'm focusing my energy on two of my stories, Specials and Wake Up Call. I haven't updated with either of them for they are two of the books I plan to send in for publishing when I finally start sending some stories in. I hope that any money I make off of these books will help me when I move to Florida. I'm afraid of putting any more of my manuscripts on the internet because of the fact that I want to publish them.

However, I will update with poems when I write them and possibly short stories.


BTW, the MTV thing is a no-go. Parents wouldn't let me try out cuz they didn't want the cameras in the house.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/24469994/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/24469994/ Mon, 27 Apr 2009 19:15:34 PDT
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]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/22670354/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/22670354/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 10:10:56 PST
"We can live together as brothers, or perish together as fools."

Clubs:



]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/22333335/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/22333335/ Thu, 01 Jan 2009 13:33:05 PST
]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/22267367/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/22267367/ Mon, 29 Dec 2008 19:17:05 PST
]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/22196442/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/22196442/ Thu, 25 Dec 2008 17:48:42 PST
I TOTALLY GOT A LAPTOP FOR CHRISTMAS! Omg, I have been asking for one for years. I can now write so much more now ^.^

I also gots me an iPod, which I've also be asking for for years, just not as many as I have the laptop. I am in love with them both!

I also got a sweet skull t-shirt, an iHome, boots, The Strangers DVD, The Host by Stephenie Myer, a cute necklace, skull earrings, a skull-and-star patterened jacket, another adorable jacket, and electric powered pencil sharpener, pencils, finger nail filers, chap stick... and I believe that is it.

It rocked!

My parents loved their gifts as well ^^

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21917296/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21917296/ Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:38:05 PST 1) Be honest with your answers. Unless you're honest; you're not going to know whether or not your character is a Sue/Stu.

That's the only rule. There will be lots of questions to be answered which all have their own little category. Afterwards, add all the points that you earned from each question and check out your result. This was not meant to offend anyone so I apologize if you're offended. This was meant to help people. Anyways, feel free to add this into your journal and have fun answering the questions.

__
Name:

What is the name of your character?

Sariah

__

Does your character's name have some kind of special meaning? [2 points if yes]

not that I know of


Fandom:

What is/are the main fandom(s) your character is in? [3 points if in more then 1]

none

__


Appearance:

Is your character unusually attractive? [3 points]

kidna, like, it's a traight of Specials, so she really has no choice...

__

Does your character have some type of unusual characteristic? (i.e. Cat ears, cat tail, unusual eye color, Unusual hair colors [firey red, blue, white, green, rainbow, purple and pink all count]) [4 points. 5 extra for Cat features if the character is in anime fandom]

Not really, her eyes are really bright, but that can be normal

Does your character's clothing resemble any canon character's? [2 points]

Nope

__
Race/powers:

Is your character from a place that the fandom doesn't take place in? [3 points]

No fandom
__
Is your character related to a supreme being? (ie, god/goddess, Satan, angels etc...) [6 points]

nope

__

Does your character practice witch craft? [2 points]

no

Can your character change form? [2 points]
no

__

Affair with canons:

no cannons

__

Are they romantically involved? [4 points]

no cannons

Do they end up having kids? [4 points]

NO CANNONS
__

Did they get married? [2 points]

NO FUCKING CANNONS

__

Do they have flaws in their relationship? [Not worth any points]

well, yeah, but it's not a cannon relationship

__

Are there other canons who lust over your character? [4 points. Extra 3 if more then one canon lusts after your character]

NO GODDAMN CANNONS

__

Is your character related to any of the canons by blood? [2 points]

still no fucking cannons

__

Is your character in love with more then one canon? [2 points]

no motherfucking cannons
__

Has your character had past romantic relationships with other canons? [7 points]

fuck you all

Does your character hate any of the canon characters and wishes to hurt/kill them? [6 points]

oh yeah, seeing as THERE ARE NO CANONS!

__
History:

Has your character ever been involved with prostitution/drugs/child abuse/rape? [4 points]

nope


Has your character had any tragedy in her/his past? [5 points]

nope

56-88= Uber sue; I'm sorry but your character is a total sue. Try not to make your character too powerful or too attractive. Maybe give your character some flaws and you can be sure to have an OC. Keep on developing your character; he/she has a lot potential.
41-55= Mary Sue. Your character is rough around the edges but with a little more polishing then your character will become a loveable OC. Maybe either give your character more or less flaws. Try to make them a bit more believable and you will have an OC.
29-40= You have a very well balanced character. Good job on having a true OC.
20 and under= Anti sue. Why are you taking this?


W00t! I have an anti sue! lol

Right now, I'm just sticking with my newest character, Sariah. I'll do this for the others for my own personal interest so I can change 'em if need be.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21849224/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21849224/ Sat, 06 Dec 2008 14:09:54 PST they've had sex with, theoretically. So, unless you're having sex with a gay person, then that means they've only had sex with people of the opposite sex of them. So, if you're a man and you have sex with a non-virgin woman, then that means you've had sex with every man she's had sex with. And if you're a woman who's had sex with a non-virgin man, you've had sex with every woman he's had sex with. Not including all the people that the person who had sex with the person you had sex with had sex with, and so on and so forth. So, unless you're a virgin, you're basically bi.

Say you're a woman and you have sex with a man who's only had sex with one other person, and everyone they've had sex with is only one other person. This is what it basically boils down to:

woman + man = 1 man + 1 woman = 2 men + 1 woman = 2 men + 4 women = 8 men + 4 women = so on and so forth.

Say you're a man who's had sex with a woman who's only had sex with one other person, and everyone they've had sex with is only one other person. This is what that boils down to:

man + woman = 1 woman + 1 man = 2 women + 1 man = 2 women + 4 men = 8 women + 4 men = so on and so forth.

here's a pic


Have fun with that!

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21615921/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21615921/ Sat, 22 Nov 2008 14:45:43 PST

OH EM GEE

I SAW TWILIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT WAS SWEET

Omg, Eric was sooooooooo adorable. Pattinson played Edward well. Even though he looks nothing like he does in the book. Carlisle looked sweet, and he was about the only one who actually looked as pale as a vampire should. Rosalie was perfect. James was sweet. I loved who they chose for Laurent. I hate who they chose for Jacob. Charlie was too mean, but I like who they picked. Jasper looked like someone jumped out and scared him and his face froze that way. He was adorable in the baseball uniform, though. I liked Alice, though her hair should have been shorter and spikier. Esme was good. Jessica looked like a whore. Angela was okay. Mike was okay, but lame. Emmet wasn't as brawny as I wanted, but he was otherwise okay. VICTORIA DOES NOT HAVE STRAWBERRY BLONDE HAIR! Ugh, I wish they would have given her the right color hair! It's FIERY RED! RAWR! Speaking of rawr, the growls sucked. Billy Black looked almost exactly as I pictured, though I figured he'd have gray hair, but I loved the actor. Renee was good, though she was NOT married to what's-his-face then.

Overall, though I hated the wrong parts, I LOVE THIS MOVIE! Lol, the entire time me, Kelsey, and Catie critisized it, but we loved it.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21583704/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21583704/ Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:12:54 PST
Me, Catie, and Chelsea are all going with Kelsey to see Twilight tomorrow, and then we're all staying the night at Kelsey's house. Omg, I totally can't wait!!!!!!!!

I also got to hang with Mike today. He gave me another one of those big hugs. God I love those ^-^ lol

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21537788/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21537788/ Mon, 17 Nov 2008 16:21:08 PST
]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21471073/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21471073/ Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:51:49 PST
Omg, I really likes Mike. And he likes me back. I'm just waiting on an answer to whether or not he'll go out with me. Had a great time with him Tuesday. I invited him to an after-school movie that was gonna be showing in the Library. I ended up sitting on the floor, laying with my head on his leg. Then he fell out of his seat laughing at something my friend Catie said, so I took his seat and he sat with his back against my legs and an arm draped over one of my legs. We were gonna hang out afterward but he had to go somewhere, but he gave me a big goodbye hug. Then yesterday morning, he let me fall asleep on his shoulder on the bus, and today he let me wear his jacket last period. I asked him if he had an answer yet today and he said he didn't have one. xP But, I think it's hopeful.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21377635/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21377635/ Fri, 07 Nov 2008 18:40:48 PST
]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21316819/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21316819/ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 11:46:24 PST

Anyways, not really sure the point of this journal. Other than the fact that I should totally update once a month. xD

I had a fun time on Halloween. I did a haunted house with my friend and her boyfriend. We even had some teenagers that didn't want to finish the haunted house because we had them so scared.

Kacy and my's one week anniversary was on Sunday! YAY! lol I loves him.

Rawr.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21192254/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/21192254/ Mon, 27 Oct 2008 18:42:11 PDT
Ugh, I think all automobiles should be destroyed and it should be illegal to own them.... A girl in our school died over the weekend. She came around a sharp curve and hit a tree head-on.... God, you should see her brother. It's killing him. I know him a lot better than I knew her. But it's still so depressing.

Well, I do have some good news. My bff of 9 years, Kacy, and I are dating. He and I started dating yesterday, and I'm so flipping happy!

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/20765173/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/20765173/ Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:19:31 PDT

--Info--
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x]I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[ ]I have a tattoo.
[x]I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ]I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses or contacts.
[x]I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x]I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger. (uhm, do Mexicans count? )
[ ]I have more than 2 piercing. (I do want snake bites though)

--Family/Home Life--
[ ]I've sworn at my parents.
[ ]I've run away from home.
[ ]I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday
[ ] I have more than 5 siblings.

--School/Work--
[x] I'm in school.
[ ]I have a job (any type).
[x]I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x]I almost always do my homework.
[x]I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[x]I've stolen something from school / work.
[ ] I've been fired


--Embarrassment-
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ ]Disney movies still make me cry.
[x]I've peed from laughing.(a tiny bit)
[x]I've snorted while laughing. (just today, actually)
[x]I've laughed so hard I've cried. (constantly)
[ ]I've glued my hand to something.
[ ]I've had my pants rip in public.

--Health--
[ ]I was born with a disease/impairment.
[x]I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ]I've broken a bone.
[ ]I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ]I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[x]I had a serious surgery.
[x]I've had chicken pox.

--Traveling--
[ ]I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[ ]I've been on a plane.
[ ]I've been to Canada.
[ ]I've been to Mexico
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ]I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ]I've been to Africa.

WHOOOO! I GO NO WHERE! -_-

--Experiences--.
[ ]I've seen a shooting star.
[ ]I've wished on a shooting star
[ ]I've seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x]I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ]I've gone skinny dipping
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ]I've crashed a car.
[] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[ ] met someone in person from facebook.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x]I've played a prank on someone.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ]I've eaten sushi.


--Relationships—
[x]I miss someone right now.[ ]I've gotten divorced.
[xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.(constantly)
[ ]I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x]I've kept something from a past relationship.
[ ]I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x]I am a romantic. (FUCK TO THE YES)
[ ]I've kissed someone in the rain.
[ ]I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

--Honesty/Crime--
[x]I've done something I told someone else I wouldn't.
[x]I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ]I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x]I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x]I've cheated while playing a game.
[x]I've cheated on a test.
[ ]I've run a red light.
[ ]I've been suspended from school.
[ ]I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.(no, but this chick wants to beat me up so maybe soon!)
[ ]I've been arrested.

--Drugs/Alcohol--
[ ]I've consumed alcohol.
[ ]I regularly drink.
[ ]I've passed out from drinking.
[ ]I've smoked weed...
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed(soemtimes)
[x] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.


--Death and Suicide--
[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate fune... ]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/20746833/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/20746833/ Mon, 29 Sep 2008 17:40:18 PDT
Well, I think some of you may be happy to know that I am now on medication for my depression, and I've stopped cutting. It's all out in the open now. Well, at least with my parents it is. I was sent away for 5 days to a behavioral unit because I couldn't promise my counselor that I wouldn't harm myself (as in, commit suicide). So we went to the ER and they evaluated me and they said that I had to be placed in a behavioral unit for an undetermined amount of time.

This happened last week. I've been home for almost a week now, and I'm so happy to be home. That place sucked ass! I swear, the second day I was there, I told my parents that I'd rather be dead than stay in there. But they got me on medication later on that day or the next morning, don't remember which, and I think it helped me adjust.

So, yeah, that's why I haven't been updating. I've just been trying to enjoy life for right now, now that I've got it back. I started working on my re-write for Blood War. I'm not using Silver Bullet anymore, so expect a new Chapter 1 soon. Also, I'm working on a personal narrative for English about my experiences in Mt.Airy, the hospital I was in, and I might post it here once I'm done.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/20313612/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/20313612/ Wed, 03 Sep 2008 18:39:36 PDT and desperate." And she texts me back "He did."

And now I'm all confused. Because, i don't know if she's lying or not. And if she isn't, why in the world would a guy that doesn't like me ask about me? God I'm lost

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/20170413/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/20170413/ Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:19:56 PDT
]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/20082266/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/20082266/ Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:03:56 PDT
The first Chapter should hopefully be up in the next week or so, depending on how much school has drained me.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/20082165/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/20082165/ Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:58:36 PDT

[x] You don't like public speaking.
[x] You find it hard to talk to strangers.
[x] You don't like to look people in the eye.
[x] You hate to go shopping alone.
TOTAL: 5

[x] Being introduced to new people makes you nervous.
[x] When you're in a group of people, it's difficult to think of what to say
[x] You have a lot of trouble talking to the opposite sex
[x] You hate to be teased ...
[ ] You hate answering the door.
TOTAL: 9

[x] You can't stand people watching you.
[ ] One on one conversations make you nervous.
[x] You don't like to ask people for help.
[x] You hate to read out loud.
[x] You don't like answering questions.
TOTAL: 13

[x] you dread ordering food at restaurants.
[x] You are uncomfortable at parties, unless you know everyone well
[x] You don't like to talk, because you're afraid of being embarrassed by what you say.
[x] You wish you were more outgoing.
[x] You hate being in the center of any room.
TOTAL: 18

[x] You don't know how to react to compliments.
[x] You prefer reading, writing, or listening to music than being around too many people.
[x] You blush easily.
[x] you don't like singing in front of a lot of people.
TOTAL: 22

Total of all : 22
Percent: 88 (no surprises there)

Add all the x's and multiply by 4
and post this as I’m _% shy

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19974437/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19974437/ Fri, 15 Aug 2008 17:04:07 PDT

I still miss Greg, nothing new there. I got to see him more than usual today, so I'm happier than usual. We had a fire drill today so I getted to see him.

I found out that Greg's sis apparently has a twin. Not literally, but practically. The girl in my Peer Tutoring class is named Sasha. Because, today, I heard the teachers calling her Sasha. A long time ago I was looking at my friend's yearbook (who's currently in 8th grade) and it said that Rebecca (I think that's how you spell it) was in like 6th grade, which would mean she's about an 8th grader based on the year of the yearbook. And I was like wtf? cuz I'd seen Sasha, who looks so much like Rebecca it's scary, in the cafeteria during my freshman lunchtime. And I was like, okay, I'm guessing my friend Kacy was screwing me over and telling me the wrong name to be an ass. So I asked the teacher if she had an older brother. And she said that she had an older brother, but that his name was Matthew and that he'd always graduated. And so I was like "Oh, someone told me she had a brother named Greg." and left because the bell rang.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19954156/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19954156/ Thu, 14 Aug 2008 14:32:48 PDT
I knew it had been building up for a while now, but I just thought it was one of my normal extra-depressed moods. But I can't get out of it. They never last this long. They last for either a half hour to an entire day. But I've been feeling like this for the past 3 days and it hurts like hell. I mean, I feel emotionally like I've been through every hardship possible. But I know I haven't.

I hate to throw out blame, but I swear, it's because of that guy I'm practically in love with, Greg. My friend says I've got Bella syndrome, and I agree. (Twilight Reference there). I mean, if I just glimpse him, my heart races so fast it almost hurts. And if I'm too close to him, I forget how to breathe and I'll get dizzy. And this year I'm finding out that I'm completely miserable when I don't see him that often. So far this year, I'm only able to see him between classes. I don't think he's getting rides on the bus anymore. I think he's getting rides with one of his parents until he gets his full license. I already know that he's got a car. I won't doubt that he'll drive after he gets his normal license. I don't know what it is about not seeing him, but it feels like I'm dying. I mean, just thinking about not seeing him is making my cry right now. I need serious help.

I bought a new charm to add to my special necklace. My special necklace is one I bought this past Valentine's Day. It's special because I bought it on that day seeing as my boyfriend couldn't because he lives so far away and it was the first Valentines Day in my whole life that I had a boyfriend. So I just bought a cheap necklace with a heart on it, but it was still special to me. Days later I bought a J for the first initial of my boyfriends name. A while after that, I got an M that stands for his last initial. I kept it like that for the longest time. The heart and two letters stood for my love of Jasin. Yesterday, I went to look for a G, but they didn't have any. So I bought a heart that looks different than the one I have for Jasin. And now that stands for how much I like/love Greg. :/

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19937273/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19937273/ Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:31:36 PDT
Nothing really to report on. Greg has made me seriously depressed and I haven't really felt the urge to live anymore, let alone write. So I've pretty much been moping for a good while. Other than that poem I recently wrote. There may be a couple more but don't expect too many uploads or whatever until I sort out my problems.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19885023/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19885023/ Sun, 10 Aug 2008 19:29:58 PDT
Yay, back to school on Tuesday! Back to being stalked by Greg.... Which I've oddly missed. That's beside the point. I have only 3 classes with my friends, that I know of so far, for my first semester, and 2 classes with friends during my second semester. But I got a class where I'll be working with my stalker's sis. So maybe that could go somewhere? Or possibly not. I'll have to see what his sister's like and if she'd ever mention me to him. Heheh.

You see, there's this class called ' Peer Tutoring '. And in it, you get to work with special needs kids. And it's not just something you can get into just like that, you have to have a teacher vouch for you and everything. Well, I took the class because I figure it would be a good way to improve my patience and the like for when I'll be a psychiatrist. Greg's sister being special needs is just a coincidence.

So, anyway, I probably won't be posting as much as a use to (even though lately I haven't been posting much anyway). But I am slowly working on my stories. I've worked a tiny bit on Blood War, none on Love Burns Black, some on my new story (unposted) called Small Town Diaries, and none on Hearts of the Rainbow either. Sorries guys. I'll probably get back to it soon, though. I've been running around the past two weeks getting the most out of my last bits of summer.

Stories
(in order of current importance to me)
1. Blood War
2. Small Town Diaries (first chapter not posted yet)
3. Hearts of the Rainbow
4. Love Burns Black

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19756323/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19756323/ Sun, 03 Aug 2008 16:59:13 PDT
I like practically broke my ankle though. I actually believe I might have fractured it. But i really don't know that much about fractured bones. Like when I just sit here and have only the weight of my leg on it, it hurts like fuck. If it keeps hurting I'll ask mom to take me to the doctor.

But I embarrassed my cousin the first day there and it was hilarious. We were walking down the street talking about sex and how we weren't gonna be whores and stuff. And these two hot guys walked by and she goes "Shut up Katie." I'm like "Why?" and she says "You're gonna embarrass me." So I yell out "SEX!" And they look at us like 'WTF?' and Becca turns beat red and covers her face with her hands. And I look at her and said "What? You know they want it from somebody."

And then today we were all at Krogers. It was me, her mom, her baby brother, and her. Her baby brother was asleep and her mom goes in Krogers. And this guy comes out to get the carts, which were right beside the car. And he was totally nerdy. He had his pants up really high with his shirt tucked in, really dorky glasses, and high socks. And Becca was looking the other direction at this dude who was getting into the car next to us. And she goes "He's so sexy" joking around. And I notice the nerdy guy and I was like "Omg Becca, look at him, he's uber sexy." And she turns and looks and goes "Omg he's so sexy I'd totally tap that." And because the window was cracked, he heard us. And he grinned and Becca smiled back. And he went back in with the carts. And he came back out and went to get more carts and he waved at her and Becca waved back. And he went back into Krogers. He came out a third time and walked by the car really slow and just stared into the car. And it was really creepy. But it was so hilarious.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19751434/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19751434/ Sun, 03 Aug 2008 11:51:14 PDT
]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19655065/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19655065/ Tue, 29 Jul 2008 05:46:38 PDT
]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19629806/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19629806/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 19:57:02 PDT

Seven Deadly Sins Survey:

~~~WRATH~~~
1) Who did you last get angry with?
idr

2) What is your weapon of choice?
butcher knife

3) Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
yes

4) How about the same sex?
yes

5) Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
Idr

6) What is your pet peeve?
intolerant people

7) Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
both

~~~SLOTH~~~
8) What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't?
wake up early

9) What is the latest you've ever woken up?
one or two

10) Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
idk

11) What is the last lame excuse that you made?
i don't remember xD

12) Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
no

13) How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this morning?
None.

~~~GLUTTONY~~~
14) What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
i don't really have one

15) Are you a meat eater?
Yup

16) What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
i don't drink

17) Do you enjoy candy and sweets?
kinda

18) Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods?
sweets

19) Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"?
no

~~~GREED~~~
20) How many credit cards do you own?
None

21) If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
save some for college, use some to get to Jasin, personal randomness

22) Would you rather be rich or famous?
Rich.

23) Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks?
Probably

~~~PRIDE~~~
24) What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of?
nothing, really

25) What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?
my grades?

26) What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life?
living?

27) Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
No

28) Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
not that i recall

29) Have you ever cheated to get a better score?
yea

30) What did you do today that you're proud of?
nuttin

~~~LUST~~~
31) How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)?
one

32) How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians, doctors, family, locker rooms, or when you were a young child)?
totally naked? no one

33) Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation?
no

34) What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice?
eyes, unless hair is a body part xD

35) Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons?
No

36) Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
there are no prostitutes in my town

~~~ENVY~~~
37) What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
a guy that's here for me

38) Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
no one

39) If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be?
idk

40) Have you ever been cheated on?
No

41) Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Yesss

42) What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
the ability to eat a hell of a lot of food and not gain a pound a.k.a. overactive thyroid

~~~WHAT DEADLY SIN...~~~
~Do you do the most often?
probably sloth or gluttony

~Do you do the least often?
probably pride

~Is your favorite to act on?
Gluttony or Sloth xD

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19607256/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19607256/ Sat, 26 Jul 2008 13:13:34 PDT

If something was wrong, who is the first boy you would go to?
Kacy


Who is the first girl you go to?
Becca



Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it?
no


Are you thinking of anything right now?
wondering what time I should go back to Courtney's to see if she's awake





If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
eh, idk, depends on who it was





Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
probably not




Do you remember the name of your first school you ever went to?
mmhmm
Southern Elementary




Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?
I've never kissed anyone



Break someones heart or have your heart broken?
depends on the person
If I love them, break mine
If I don't, break theirs







Do you like to spend time with people?
sometimes, depends on my mood




Are you hungry?
no




Are you talking to anyone while doing this? Who?
no




Three feelings at the moment?
bored



Got anything you regret so far in life?
my life itself




Are you listening to anything?
nope




Where are you right now?
my computer room





What are you scared of?
large crowds(well, not really scared, they just creep me out for some reason)
bees, heights, rejection


Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?
no, and he does



In the past week have you felt sad?
yep




Does the last person who put their arms around you mean anything to you?
no one's ever done that, unless a hug counts



Last person you texted?
Kacy



Do you wear the hood on your sweatshirt?
sometimes




When was the last time you cried?
yesterday morning




Do you like the smell of gasoline?
yea




Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
mmhmm



Do you have any obsessions right now?
the Death Note series, the song Watching Airplanes by Gary Allen


Do you like who you are, as a person?
no



Is there one thing/anyone that is on your mind constantly?
yes, two people



Have you talked to a complete meany today?
nope

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19586824/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19586824/ Fri, 25 Jul 2008 08:37:55 PDT
This morning my mom woke me up at about 7:30 or something to let me know that she was leaving. So I crawled out of bed and into her's so the dogs could wake me up if they really needed to go outside. And I laid there for five minutes, half-awake, trying to listen to mom before she walked out the door. And I felt so unbelievably tired, like I hadn't slept in a year. And then I was laying there after she left, thinking of my boyfriend. And I started wondering, again, why he hasn't talked to me. And I started thinking, what if he was hurt or even dead. Yes, I know, dumb conclusion to jump to but I was tired. And I started crying just at the thought. And after I started crying, I started waking up, which is weird because crying usually makes me sleepy. So I ended up getting up at like 7:45. And I spent maybe the next 45 minutes or something just crying because I miss him so much. And I'm not hungry or anything, but I ate some cottage cheese and like 2 pieces of sausage or something because I had to. And I just feel like shit at the moment. It's weird, I feel kinda dizzy when I stand, and I feel majorly dizzy if I look up at the ceiling. Don't ask me why I did, I just did.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19578601/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19578601/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:04:32 PDT
My friend Chrissy was at the Library so I walked down there. That was the not-fun part. About 25 minutes of non-stop walking in flipflops in 80 or 90 degree whether. IT WAS AWESOME! *coughsarcasmcough*'

I went totally mental like I usually do around my friends. We talked total nonsense and giggled insanely at nothing . I stole the skateboarding magazines and returned them... Long story. xD It wasn't literal.

Then her grandma offered to take me home. That was nice . We waited outside for her for like 10 or 15 minutes. I screamed hi at every car that went by with their windows down. Then some dude walked by. And I wasn't even looking in his direction, idk about Chrissy or her brother, and he goes "What are you looking at!?" and I'm like "YOUR MOM!" lol He didn't say anything else. And then this random chick walked up and started talking to us. She looked like a future Barbie. Overly nice, way too tan, platinum blonde, and she was working on losing that weight when she didn't even look like she really needed to lose any. But she was nice.

Then I went home.

I checked out like 5 books, so that makes up to 6 I've got, including the one I checked out last time I was there. Which is a totally awesome book. Anyone who doesn't believe in God or is wondering if he's real should read it. It's called The God Delusion and it's by Richard Dawkins. Although, you should be warned that his vocabulary is vast, to say the least. I mean, there's some points where I just sat there with a dictionary beside me. And that's saying something seeing as I know quite a few words myself. Which sounds bad. lol

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19561661/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19561661/ Wed, 23 Jul 2008 19:43:02 PDT
I've drifted away from writing for the past couple of days. There's parts I'm stuck on in all of my stories, which sucks ass.

I've also started drawing a little again. I've been taking a hell of a lot of photos of myself. I'm taking more tonight. And I really don't know why I'm doing it, either. All I ever do with them is upload them onto my myspace and use an exceptionally good one for a DeviantID on here.

Life is boring. *Le sigh*

I think that I'm going to open requests. If you want me to write something, like a short story or one-shot, then I'll probably do it. Supposedly the only way to get over writer's block is to write. I'll use this as an opportunity to do such.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19498659/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19498659/ Sun, 20 Jul 2008 11:21:51 PDT
So I started screwing around with people on chatrooms. That's a new thing my friend has gotten me into. I thought it was hilarious.

First I signed is as some fucked up person and said random shit I'd heard on an episode of Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy someone fucked up on youtube. And they all thought I was mental. I did that in a bunch of different chatrooms. Then I went through and started acting like some freaky horny chick. It was funny until someone wanted my myspace. Then I went with the basically same approach but I was talking about weird kinky shit like chocolate sauce and whips. xD

I have severe problems.

I don't think I'm going to my cousin's after all. She never called me back so idk.

My friend Casey stayed the night Friday. It was fun. We walked around Falmouth. The neighbors let us swim in their pool. We fucked around with people on yahoo chatrooms and played the sims.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19433812/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19433812/ Wed, 16 Jul 2008 18:58:00 PDT
God. I fucking miss Jasin so much. It hurts so bad.

But I'm glad we made it to seven months. It doesn't seem like it's been that long. But it has. Maybe we'll make it to a year, maybe we'll make it longer.

I can only hope.

So, *sings to tune of happy birthday* Happy anniversary to me, happy anniversary to me....

What's funny is that there's a cricket chirping outside the window.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19411722/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19411722/ Tue, 15 Jul 2008 14:42:35 PDT
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the one working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

I am the boy who was grabbed and spit on by a group of complete strangers for being proud about my sexuality.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am a warrior for my country serving proud, but can't be my true self because gays aren't allowed in the military.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the who isn't sure what she is. I am the who is rejected by her "best friends" because of a less-than-conventional crush.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson."

I am the girl who takes pride in her sexuality, but had almost no choice in why it happened. I am the girl that is beaten up regularly. I am the girl they all think is amazing and confident and strong, I am the girl they can't see inside. The one who was raped mover and over, the one who can't live without medication, the one who can't tell anyone that she is dying on the inside. I'm the one who is afraid of male genitalia because of him. I am the girl that can still love, even after this. I am the proof that love overpowers all. I am the girl that needed to say this, and the girl that's afraid to say it, because so many others have suffered worse.

This is the boy, Matthew Shepard. On October 7, 1998 Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson lead him to a remote area east of Laramie where they demonstrated unimaginable acts of brutality . Matthew was tied to a split-rail fence where he was beaten and left to die in the cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later he was found by a cyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow. Matthew died on October 12 at 12:53 am at a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. MURDERED BECAUSE HE WAS GAY!!!

IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS
AS "HOMOPHOBIA."

IF YOU ARE IGNORANT... IGNORE.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19355623/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19355623/ Sat, 12 Jul 2008 13:48:44 PDT
We went to the fair yesterday, and that guy I like creeped me out again. He showed up at the fair. And every time we walked one way, he'd be walking the opposite direction. Then, the exact same second I leave, he did. I mean, I was passing him, I looked back, our eyes locked for like ten seconds, then he started walking. He like walked out 5 feet in front of me and then disappeared in the parking lot as soon as I was about to turn away. I swear, he's got like, cameras in my house and he KNOWS when I'm leaving to go somewhere. lol

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19330257/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19330257/ Fri, 11 Jul 2008 09:54:32 PDT
I really d k. lol

Ummmm, yeah, fuck you deviantart. Just saying. I can't believe it. The other day I was just thinking "Thank god they haven't fucked up deviantart like quizilla." I had to open my mouth. I will admit that it's not horrible, but I much prefer the simplicity of the other one. I love how when a site says they're making an upgrade to 'make things easier' it's actually more complicated. I also love how they still haven't fixed the emoticons for the journals.

Okay, news on my stories. This is my list of current stories, from most important to least. Which means, most important = more attention, more updates; less important = less attention, less updates.

Stories
1. Blood War
2. Hearts of the Rainbow
3. Saying Sorry (first chapter not posted yet)
4. Love Burns Black

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19317836/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19317836/ Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:51:46 PDT I apologized, which I did, we were suppose to be all hunky-dory. But, I'm never trusting him as well as I use to. Supposedly, he was trying to prove some sort of point. Well, I hope that lesson I never learned was worth throwing out 8 years worth of gaining my trust. And destroying my trust in everyone else. I stayed up until 3 am crying my heart out, and then it took probably another hour for me to even pretend that I was trying to sleep. I woke up around 9:30 am so I got little sleep. Maybe if I don't get enough sleep I'll die or something.

On another note, I finally got the first chapter of my gay rights story, Hearts of the Rainbow out. I'm not sure that I'm exactly proud of it at the moment, but whatever.

Idk how much I'll get up before I leave for my cousin's. This newest blow has just left me for dead.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19255557/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19255557/ Mon, 07 Jul 2008 13:44:12 PDT
Thursday through Saturday I stayed at my Mammaw's house - I came home on Saturday. I got to see everyone and it was nice. My mammaw came home from the nursing home and stayed until late Saturday. She's going to live in another city with my Aunt Joyce the first of next month. I feel like crying, I'm gonna miss her so much. My mom has a fear of getting lost and my dad is too ornery to drive anywhere. So I'm pretty much never gonna get to see her again.

It was interesting, though, we had to find places for nine people to sleep in a 3 bedroom trailer on Thursday night, and then places for 11 people to sleep Friday night. We figured everything out eventually. I got to see my cousin Becca, the one who's practically my sister, so I was really happy between seeing Becca, my Aunt Rhonda (she had cancer), and my mammaw.

Yesterday we went to Wal-Mart in Cynthiana. I got pissed because they sold all of the swimsuits that I liked. But I found a strapless bra in my size, at the Wal-Mart which is scary, so that made me happy.

Today we went to the Wal-Mart in Alexandria. They didn't have the swimsuit I wanted either but I found a two-piece that is really cute and we got that instead. Then we ate out at Gold Star, which is the best place on earth.

I think I might go out later today and get the book for the driving test. Or tomorrow. My friend Krissy is 18 and her dad keeps saying 'I'll get you one, I'll get you one, I'll get you one' but he hasn't got one yet and he's been saying that for months. So I'm getting one to start studying early and she's suppose to go with me to the Court House so she can get one too.

I'll be going to Becca's house hopefully next week. It's gonna be really fun, it was last summer. Plus I should get a chance to wear my new swimsuit ^-^. I'll be spending about a week or so there. I'll update with Blood War again before I leave, and possibly Love Burns Black if I can churn out another.

Speaking of which, I just have to say that I'm having so much fun with Blood War. And it amazes me how easy it is to write it. I mean, usually I'm too damn procrastinate (is that even a word) and too damn lazy to write it. But I enjoy writing it. I also think it's cool that I practically have to keep writing to know what's going to happen next. Which I think is how a lot of good stories are written, not to toot my own horn. I can't wait until it's finished, I'm sure it'll be a story I'll be proud of.

I'm gonna try my damndest to get Blood War published when I'm finished with it. You've got to buy it when I'm done, lol. I'm gonna edit it so that it sounds a hell of a lot better when I'm done, before I send it in to try and publish it.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19254684/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19254684/ Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:58:13 PDT

Level 1
( ) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( ) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex[LOL Rashay....last day of school...]

SO FAR: 0

Level 2
(x) Are / Been In Love
( ) Dumped someone
( ) Been Fired
( ) Been In A Fist Fight

SO FAR: 1

Level 3
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
( ) Skipped Class
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die

SO FAR: 3

Level 4
( ) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your deviantart / sheezyart Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
( ) Been On A Plane
( ) Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 3

Level 5
( ) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
(x) Met Someone Through Internet [i met my bf ]
( ) Been in a Mosh Pit[I wanna mooosh]

SO FAR: 4

Level 6
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Liked/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel

SO FAR: 8

Level 7
( ) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite
( ) Built A Sand Castle
( ) Gone mudding
(x) Played Dress Up

SO FAR: 10

Level 8
(X) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
( ) Gone Sledging
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(X) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO far: 14

Level 10
( ) Watched The Sun Set
( ) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake

SO FAR: 14

Level 11
(x) Been Tickled
( ) Been Robbed / Vandalized
( ) Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood

SO FAR: 16

Level 12
( ) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention
( ) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident

SO FAR: 17

Level 13
( ) Had / Have Braces
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
( ) Danced in the moonlight

SO FAR : 17

Level 14
(x) Hated The Way You Look
( ) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
(x) Questioned Your Heart
(x) Been obsessed with post-it-notes

SO FAR: 20

Level 15
( ) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
( ) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying

SO FAR: 21

Level 16
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
( ) Played Cops And Robbers
( ) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke
( ) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins

SO FAR: 23

Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
( ) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
( ) Kissed In The Rain [I would if I could see my boyfriend on a rainy day xD]

SO FAR: 25

Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
( ) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles
( ) Made A Bonfire On The Beach Or Anywhere

SO FAR: 27

Level 19
( ) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(X) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
( ) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey [???]

SO FAR: 28

Level 20
( ) Worn Pearls
( ) Jumped Off A Bridge
(x) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins

SO FAR: 29

Level 22
( )Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cube
( ) Kicked A Fish
(X) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
( ) Sat On A Roof Top

SO FAR: 30

Level 23
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
( )Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
( ) Recently stayed Up for a while talking to someone you care about

SO FAR: 31

Level 24
( ) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
( ) Climbed A Tree
( ) Had/Been In A Tree House
( ) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone

SO FAR: 31

Level 25
(X) Believed In Ghosts
( ) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail

SO FAR: 32

Level 26
( ) Played Chicken
( ) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
( ) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
( ) Broken A Bone
(x) Been Easily Amused

~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19150945/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19150945/ Tue, 01 Jul 2008 16:47:30 PDT Hawthorne Heights!!!!!!! They are awesome, their songs are so amazing, and their lead singer's pretty cute too.

I am sooooo bored.

I watched a lot of movies over the weekend, and they all disappointed me.

||SPOILER ALERT!!||SPOILER ALERT!!||

First, The Spiderwick Chronicles. Has anyone ever seen it? It is really good until the end. The end pissed me the hell off. That was the shittiest ending they could have come up with. I mean, you'd expect something more interesting than the damn pig-thing eating him. Ugh.

Then I watched 10000 B.C. It was interesting, and the animations of the saber tooth tiger and mammoth were actually realistic. But, idk, I didn't really care for it. The commercials made it out to be something completely mind-blowing and fantastic, but it wasn't that amazing.

Lastly, I finally got around to watching Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I've been dreading watching it ever since the fourth movie, how they fucked it up. It pissed me off because nothing happened the way it did in the book. Absolutely nothing. It all happened the wrong ways and sometimes at the wrong times and it pissed me off. Moving past that, it is an amazing movie if you've never read the book.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19134082/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/19134082/ Mon, 30 Jun 2008 19:12:40 PDT Heartache & Black Roses

Not really sure where the name came from.

I wrote a couple songs today. I think one is decent, but the other sucks. *le sigh*

God, there is so much stuff I really wanna do, but I don't know how to get to it. Well, I know how to publish a book and be a psychiatrist. But being a psychiatrist would so only be a fallback if the music thing never worked. It would be cool to go on something like American Idle, but you can't put a band on that. And besides, I don't know if I'd find anyone to be in a band with me.

Ah, the frazzled and out-there musings of an insane mind.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/18968245/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/18968245/ Sat, 21 Jun 2008 14:24:05 PDT

a) tell you why I friended you,
b) associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.,
c) tell you something I like about you,
d) tell you a memory I have of you,
e) ask something I've always wanted to know about you,
f) tell you my favorite user pic of yours,
g) in return, you must post this in your journal.

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/18893367/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/18893367/ Tue, 17 Jun 2008 13:20:34 PDT
A gay men's chorus was singing on the front steps of San Francisco City Hall, brightened up by rainbow flags and supporters handing out cupcakes to happy couples.

Helen Zia and Lia Shigemura sang "The Chapel of Love" as they walked to the city attorney's office to get married. The couple, clad in beige jackets and slacks, exchanged vows with Zia's mother by their side.

"This is the most meaningful day of my life. I've always wanted to get married," Shigemura said. "I just never thought it'd be possible."

From San Diego to Eureka, couples readied their formal wear, local licensing clerks expanded their staffs and conservative groups warned of a backlash as the nation's most populous state joined Massachusetts in sanctioning gay unions.

Some couples were from out of state. Unlike Massachusetts, which legalized same-sex marriage in 2004, California has no residency requirement for marriage licenses.

The May 15 California Supreme Court ruling that overturned the state's bans on same-sex marriage became final at 5:01 p.m. Monday, and clerks in at least five counties extended their hours to mark the occasion.

Already, dozens of same-sex couples have seized the opportunity to make their relationships official in the eyes of the law.

In West Hollywood, more than 100 people, wearing everything from T-shirts to tuxedoes, were in line Tuesday morning in front of an auditorium that was turned into a licensing center in the city's main park. Six white cabanas with chandeliers and silk flowers were ready for weddings.

Among those getting marriage licenses were actor and gay rights activist George Takei and his longtime partner, Brad Altman; they are planning a September wedding.

"Today we are all here to give flesh and blood reality to that ruling. We are going to make history," said Takei, who played Sulu in the "Star Trek" television series and movies. "Congratulations to all of us and may equality live long and prosper."

Every county was required to start issuing new gender-neutral marriage licenses Tuesday with spaces for "Party A" and "Party B" where "bride" and "groom" used to be.

"Am I Party A or Party B?" Contra Costa County Clerk Stephen Weir jokingly asked his partner of 18 years, John Hemm.

They were the first to marry at Weir's office Tuesday morning. Outside, three opponents of gay marriage from the Westboro Baptist Church picketed, carrying signs with sayings such as "God is your enemy."

Members of the sect are most often seen at military funerals in demonstrations claiming U.S. combat deaths are God's punishment for the nation's tolerance of homosexuality.

The protesters were easily outnumbered by about three dozen supporters of gay marriage, who held signs that read "Hate is not a family value" and "My marriage is not threatened by theirs, why is yours?" Police vehicles lined up near the demonstrators.

On Monday, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, who helped start the series of lawsuits that led the court to strike down California's one-man-one-woman marriage laws, presided at the wedding of Del Martin, 87, and Phyllis Lyon, 83.

Newsom picked the couple for the only ceremony Monday in City Hall to recognize their 55-year relationship and their status as pioneers of the gay rights movement. More than 650 same-sex couples have made appointments to get marriage licenses in San Francisco before the end of the month.

Newsom called officiating the wedding "this extraordinary and humbling gift." After the mayor pronounced Martin and Lyon "spouses for life," the couple kissed, then emerged to a crowd of well-wishers who showered them with rose petals.

The celebrations are tempered by the reality that in a few months, Californians will go to the ballot box to vote on an initiative that would overturn the high court ruling and again ban gay marriage.

On Monday, three lawmakers and a small group of other same-sex-marriage opponents gathered outside the Capitol to criticize the Supreme Court decision. They urged voters to approve the ballot measure.

"This is an opportunity to take back a little bit of dignity ... for kids, for all of us in California," Republican Assemblyman Doug LaMalfa said. "It really disturbs me that the will of the people was overridden by four members of the Supreme Court."

In both San Francisco and Beverly Hills, where two women became the first same-sex couple in Los Angeles County to marry legally, small groups of protesters waved signs with sayings like "Repent or Perish." They were outnumbered by supporters wav... ]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/18824998/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/18824998/ Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:13:36 PDT
And something has fucked with my brain. I don't know why, but after I woke up, I was starting to sing in my head "I'm a gummi bear, in a gummi world!" I really don't know.

Whee, new account. It's an account that I'll be uploading some bases for "dolls". I guess that's what you call 'em. lol

Base Account: ~abnormal101

]]> ~MurderGoddess http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/18766572/ http://MurderGoddess.deviantart.com/journal/18766572/ Tue, 10 Jun 2008 12:50:00 PDT ever had after going away, and usually I only go away for like one or two nights.

I didn't talk to Greg face-to-face. He didn't add me on myspace either. Which equals that he doesn't like me. I still might get him sometime over the summer if me and one of my friends run into him. But I'm not gonna go looking for ways to talk to him. If it happens it happens...

]]> ~MurderGoddess