http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Myblackisblacker&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Myblackisblacker en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 20 Dec 2009 19:14:55 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/26453355/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/26453355/ Fri, 07 Aug 2009 20:50:04 PDT
That's really it for now, hope I didn't bore you or frighten you, or mess with your delicate sensibilities. Thank you all for being my patient and loyal fans over all these crazy years. I'm sorry I haven't been more 'with it' in providing you with new content. I will try to do better, I promise. Until next time, Internet.

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/22787330/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/22787330/ Sat, 24 Jan 2009 17:24:04 PST
]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/22094371/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/22094371/ Sat, 20 Dec 2008 23:43:47 PST I never thought I'd actually be able to get a job like this. ^_^ And I'm totally excited because I think my last job sort of forced me to grow up completely before I was really ready to. I'm going back to being fashionable, to having crazy hair-do's and doing racy photoshoots without feeling guilty.

So perhaps things are getting better? That part is at least. As far as things in my house and with my boyfriend, for whom I still harbor all the love in the world (though I fear he doesn't exactly believe in such things. He's a realist. A Life Will Go On type of realist)I'm not too sure. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I wish it would go away. All this doubt, fear and anxiety. I wish things could go back to the way they were. Nothing ever can, and I know that, but I still can't help but feel heartbroken for what once was. And I'm afraid to have too much hope or put too much stock in what may be. I don't want to proceed with blind faith and have YET ANOTHER rug yanked out from under my feet. But I guess that's love, isn't it? Rubbish.

That said, I'll try to stop being so Grinchy, seeing as how the Christmas Countdown is nearing it's apex. Hope you all have a great holiday season, whatever calendar date you may celebrate. Cheers!

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/22037382/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/22037382/ Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:46:08 PST Thanks!

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/21491512/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/21491512/ Fri, 14 Nov 2008 20:20:41 PST _>;; I think I need to draw some girls! Nothing puts a person in a finer mood than drawing seductive women. xD I wish I had photoshop skillz. Oh well, next spring I'm going to school to get a credential in video-game art design. So yeah. Woot.

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/21461994/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/21461994/ Wed, 12 Nov 2008 21:35:59 PST
Been weeping all night, help a girl out!

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/21287051/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/21287051/ Sun, 02 Nov 2008 16:18:17 PST
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]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/19794434/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/19794434/ Sat, 16 Aug 2008 12:02:05 PDT
Please help me out if you can. I'm broke and can hardly afford to pay the rent. I'd really appreciate any help, so if you could go to my cafepress store and buy a button or something to show some love it'd be great. I just need some extra income, my job gives me the bare minimum. You'd think you could be alittle more valuable being a teacher....thanks for your support.
[link]


]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/19354664/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/19354664/ Sat, 12 Jul 2008 12:49:33 PDT [link]

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/18481261/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/18481261/ Sat, 24 May 2008 15:10:30 PDT
]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/16123068/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/16123068/ Thu, 27 Dec 2007 11:50:55 PST
Last night I saw them for the first time. They are so small! They weigh around four or five pounds each. They are being fed intravenously, and they have all these monitors on them and stuff. It was very overwhelming. They have the tiniest little voices, and the smallest toes I've ever seen. Our mom is doing well, in a lot of pain from the C-section, but very proud of her new babies.

I want them to come home, because I don't know if I can handle going back to the NICU...

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15952362/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15952362/ Sat, 15 Dec 2007 23:51:24 PST I added a to my webstore a button - as in a pin - of my piece called "Shadow Wings" (see my featured deviation). It's a 3.5x3.5 inch button, and it's pretty sleek. You should check it out....

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15920611/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15920611/ Thu, 13 Dec 2007 16:45:52 PST
Okay, so what if it's a load of bull? I need money to buy xmas gifts, so go to my webstore and get gifts so I can give gifts.

[link]

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15892463/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15892463/ Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:10:22 PST
]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15889477/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15889477/ Tue, 11 Dec 2007 12:44:59 PST
My boyfriend and my friends and I want to move in to a place together. My boyfriend lives with me in my parents house, and has for over a year. So, He's decided that he has to move out, because he can't keep mooching off my parents for much longer (even though my parents DONT see it that way). They want to move out in four months. He and all our friends have stable, steady jobs. While I am unemployed. So, they want to move out, and if I can't make it I can come when I have the means. Now, four months should be plenty of time for me to find a job, but mostly it's the principle and the 'what if' factor that are upsetting me.

For some reason I am very offended by this. Deeply hurt, and feeling abandoned and left out. Am I being melodramatic? What should I do with these feelings? He has plainly said he doesn't understand why I feel that way. Which seems to me....a little...umm.....silly. Is it worth bringing up again, when we aren't even planning to move for four months? I just don't like to talk about "when WE move out" because I don't even know if I'll be a part of it.....Any thoughts? I greatly appreciate your help and opinions.

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15875791/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15875791/ Tue, 11 Dec 2007 11:45:16 PST Update again: I edited the date of my shoot with Dave Miller - I had a brainfart and put it as this week. It's really sometime next week, but if we have lot of other goings-on, as is the title of this journal, then it will be in January. Either way, I'm happy But *smacks self* for being a retard*

UPDATE: here is a picture of my falls, if you haven't seen them from my front page: [link]

Well it's the most wonderful time of the year again - and I don't men Christmas, I mean Finals week. I'm suffering here. I have to cram all day today because the fun begins tomorrow at ten a.m. But after my last final on Friday, I'm getting sooooo....*cough* celebratory... It'll finally all be over with. I have a job interview on sunday for a new nannying gig. Hoping that works out well. I get the feeling that this lady is a little more down-to-earth, and as such won't be willing to pay as much - but it's a price I"m willing to pay if she won't go psycho like my last employer.

Ohh on friday I hope to go to Disneyland again, this time for "Raver Christmas Day". I know it sounds like the gayest thing ever, but I am a raver, and I do like christmas. Hopefully someone will take me. I can't drive myself because I'm not insured to drive my car, and I can't afford to get insurance yet. So my parents would rather die before letting me take the car out. Life is such a bitch like that. Have a car for three years, with no license. Get a license, can't drive the damn car!

Also next week is a tentatively scheduled photo shoot with the wonderful David Miller *elusiveTouch. Always a pleasure working with him. Apparently this shoot will be something of an "Up-Kilt Camera" type of deal. So it should be interesting. Along the same vein, my boyfriend wants to get me a bicycle for Christmas. While other women will bet getting diamonds, I'm getting ...a bike. But wait! The strange part is I'd rather have a bicycle than diamonds. I'll be able to get in shape and feel better about myself in a way that is much more motivating than going to the gym. I have ten months to train before the 30 mile ride in Solvang (I dunno if that's the spelling...). By october I'm going to be so hott! lol!

Anyway, that's all for now, I'm off to Starbucks, the ever delicious capitalist hub, and to the bookstore to study for this damnable test. Bye!

"I don't care if Monday's blue,
Tuesday's gray and Wednesday too.
Thursday I don't care about you,
It's Friday, I'm in love"

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15866531/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15866531/ Sun, 09 Dec 2007 17:18:11 PST
]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15839585/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15839585/ Fri, 07 Dec 2007 19:39:32 PST
Now I can finally drive the car I've been pay for all this time....

On a different note, not to offend anyone - but have I ever mentioned how I hate mass quantities of high schoolers? >

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15771456/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15771456/ Sun, 02 Dec 2007 20:58:51 PST Had a talk with my boyfriend this afternoon about some of my feelings - such as being way jealous of his best friend, and that he's been too busy to give me attention lately. It was scary briefly when he mentioned us possibly not moving in together so he'd be forced to make time for me....but he soon understood that that's not quite what I meant. I didn't mean I need more attention all the time, just lately. I dunno, it sucks when he comes home at one in the morning every other day. *sigh* Everything is fine now, i guess, other than having to learn to control my intense feelings of jealousy. Which is something he can't help me with. The only thing he can do for me, he said, is to be there for me to come to him and say I'm feeling over-looked. He's learning that living together is a pain in the butt. But I told him even if we weren't living together, there'd be hardships, just different ones. -_-

I applied to a plus-size clothing company as a model today. I doubt they'll hire me because I'm just barely plus-sized. But it was worth a shot, anyway. I'm going to color my hair again, and cut it so I have bangs. I'm hoping that does something for my ego. I'm excited.

Tomorrow we are going to Knott's Berry Farm for said jealousy-causing-friend tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I like him a lot on a personal level, and I"m glad my bf has such a good friend...but still. Maybe going to Knott's will cheer me up. I hope so. I guess it's time to man up and get back on my medication. i'd been doing so freaking well without it, but I've hit a major slump. It sort of hurts my pride, but other than that it can only make things better.....

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15736428/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15736428/ Fri, 30 Nov 2007 15:02:47 PST
On the art front, I have craploads of art I need to upload. So much so that it can't even be considered new art. It's just..not up here.

On the job front, those people never returned my calls about when they wanted me to come back to work after the holiday, so I stopped giving a shit. Their loss, I guess. So now I need to find ANOTHER new job. *sigh* Oh how I wish I could get paid for modeling. Nobody wants to shoot with a cubby girl for money unless you are significantly chubby enough to be considered "plus size" or a "big girl". Hmph. And I"m not tall enough or thin enough to shoot with the "standard" model fair. So I'm stuck doing art photography for personal gratification. And speaking of Personal Gratification, I'm thinking of taking a diet pill on top of my other ineffective efforts to lose weight. Is there anyone out there who has positive things to say about diet pills? The reason I don't want to take them is because I don't want people to get on me about it.....

Anyway, I guess that's it for now.

OH, also: it's the holidays, go buy gifts at my cafe press store damn you! It's cool stuff!!!!
[link]

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15608047/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15608047/ Wed, 21 Nov 2007 16:04:49 PST Oh, but something good, last saturday I went to Disneyland! That was a lot of fun, except we went on "Small World Holiday" and it broke down. 0_0;; I can't wait to go back, I love Disneyland all the time, but it's so pretty during the holidays. <333
Anyway I guess that's it. I'm on a laptop and my leg is falling asleep so I gotta go.

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15449734/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15449734/ Sat, 10 Nov 2007 13:37:10 PST
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]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15171955/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/15171955/ Tue, 23 Oct 2007 16:17:00 PDT **UPDATE**
Still waiting to be evacuated from my home. The fire is now two miles off, but the wind is carrying it away from my house. My best friend has been evacuated and his house may now be gone. I spent five years of my life in that house. I'm beginning to have a type of survivor's guilt. I'm so thankful my home and family was spared, but....all the people whose weren't... This fire's evacuations are now being called "The largest movement of Americans since the Civil War," with 950,000 evacuees. So far we are okay but half my hometown is on fire and it's not safe to go outside. We're on high alert for evacuation in case the wind/situation changes.

------
Just wanted to let you know the entire county of San Diego, California is on fire. I'm at home waiting for the evac order. if you or anyone you know is in the area, please advise them to GET. OUT. I don't know how long this is going to last, or if my house will be safe. They expect these eight fires to make it to the coast within the next 72 hours. Anyone in the area please be safe. Take care of each other and yourself. I'll be in touch.

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/14595493/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/14595493/ Mon, 24 Sep 2007 10:59:19 PDT UPDATE
buy the new 2008 Visions Calendar by *elusiveTouch featuring Yours Truly! Go here [link] to check it out!
------------
Just a quick jot -- I added some more stuff to my Cafepress store, and I'd really like to sell it. So go check it out! PLEASE!
LINK IS DOWN HERE
[link]

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/14581147/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/14581147/ Mon, 10 Sep 2007 19:44:54 PDT ...PMS!!!
I hate men, I hate being a woman, I hate feelings and I HATE, I HATE, I HATE when guys don't understand!!!
Everything is going wrong. i'm in pain, my bf is sorta...well, male. No offense guys, honest. And I feel like the bad guy. I really F**ing hate it. ANd I hate when he runs off to be with his guy friend instead of me when he knows how I'm feeling. Ugh. whatever. I'm going to go break things.

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/14355943/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/14355943/ Sun, 26 Aug 2007 20:44:27 PDT My bf got my sister a job at his work, no questions asked. But my sis has Bipolar disorder like me and couldn't hack it, so she up and quit. But she didn't TELL HIM that that was why, so he just thinks she quit just because. But she WON'T tell him because she's a pighead. So I fought with her about it, because it was kind of unfair and irresponsible, and I fought with my mom about it because she's always telling me how to be nice to my sister and this and that. So then I got into it with my mom about how I've always felt like she treated my sister better than me, I have the same illness and was the same way when I was a kid. All I got was pushed away and yelled at. My mom says that *I* was the one pushing her away, since like the age of four, which I never knew about >_>; So now I get to go to family counseling. Yay.

And so now I feel needy and want to be loved, but when my bf comes home he's going to be exhausted and put out by how my sister left the store high and dry. And he probably got yelled at by HIS boss for hiring someone that wasn't reliable. So yeah...fun stuff. Thank god we're going on vacation on tuesday. I really F*cking need it.

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/14201791/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/14201791/ Thu, 16 Aug 2007 19:37:40 PDT _<;

Other than that, school starts again on monday. After this semseter, I'll have enough units in child development to actually start making money. My ideal job is to work at an infant center taking care of babies. In two weeks we'll be going on vacation to northern California. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm not looking forward to the heat. I may or may not have a photo shoot coming up the day before we leave. I still haven't gotten around to answering the photog yet, I've been busy subbing at the preschool. So we'll see how that goes... Anyway, that's all for now, I'm going to eat before I pass out from hunger.

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/13750168/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/13750168/ Sun, 15 Jul 2007 22:21:08 PDT _< She keeps effing up on all the assignments. Like she said to turn in journals eight through fifteen on the syllabus, but then she said that I got penalized for not turning in journal sixteen!! WTF! and she told us to watch this online video for the midterm, and it wasn't even there, it didn't exist! So I lost eight points. I emailed her about it, and she never got back to me. So freaking lame. My grade is going to be low because of her screw-ups. She's a nice lady, but this is going too far.
*pant pant*

So anyway, the party was awesome. It was in the middle of buttf*ck nowhere in the desert. Very tribal, quite an experience. And it was allll happy hardcore, which I die for.

I'm STILL working on getting my fat ass to use my stepdad's computer to scan some of my new work. It seems these days people are only interested in my photos and not my art, though. *sigh* Maybe I should make a separate account?

Uhhh, I guess that's about all. Just working my little bee-hind off and since I'm not working and my parents are out of the country, I've been playing the domestic. *yawn* In any case, my bf will be out of the shower soon, then it's off to beddy-bye for this lil girl..

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/13647469/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/13647469/ Sat, 07 Jul 2007 14:11:04 PDT
]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/13621135/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/13621135/ Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:39:10 PDT Let's see....last month I turned 21. Didn't do much for it but went out to sushi and ordered my first legal drink. Since then I've been able to buy booze whenever I want. Except that I'm poor, so not really. Then I went to the VNV Nation concert and almost diiiiiied! It was so effing cool. Me and my bf, my sister and my sister's friend went dressed up like ravers, it was soooo funny! We were literally the ONLY spot of color in the place. Everyone was giving us the evil eye, but we got to cut the line because we had guestlst, so I was like HAHAHAH! So cool.

I started summer school which is a total bitch. In fact at some point today I have to AT LEAST start the midterm exam. Other than that not much else. I went to the county fair last week, and last night I saw fireworks for Independence Day. I'm severely broke since I'm now only a substitute teacher. My credit card bill is beyond my funds currently. They keep calling my house. I'm thinking of trying to get paid modeling gigs so that I can have a bit of cash, the problem is I've gotten ever so fat. I weigh more than my bf which is totally wrong. Oh well, we'll see. C'est la vie *shrug* I hope to be back on sometime soon. I have some new art to upload but I'd have to use my dad's scanner. So we'll see how that goes too. Anyway, it's lunchtime. Take care! ]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/13013708/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/13013708/ Sat, 19 May 2007 13:19:09 PDT ^_^)> yay! And in three weeks it will be my 21st birthday. Woot, I believe you all know what that means... And about a week after that it will be time for me to go on hiatus from my job and go back to school. THANK GOD! I love my job, but that class is killing me. I have like one of the worst co-teachers ever and the stress is really getting to me. On thursday I had an asthma attack at work and they MODs came and gave me oxygen and the whole bit. It was cool. Not. Anyway, I guess that's it for now, I'm so looking forward to summer! I have some possible shoots lined up so that should be fun. Hopefully I'll speak to yall again soon. :3

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/12830778/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/12830778/ Thu, 03 May 2007 17:11:32 PDT
I just went there I found out that people were actually BUYING my things!! >^_^> PIMP. I'm going to make newer better stuff soon I think...but go there. ANd support me. I'm so excited!

I hope everyone has had a good week so far. Mine was kind of...crappy, which is typical. Well, I should say the WORKweek was crappy. Everything else is fine ^_^ Nothing new on my DA page at the moment except a new webcam shot of me looking dumb in my ultra cool rabbit-ears hat that I got at the Arizona convention. Anyway I guess thats it. This journal had absolutely no point. THank you, and good day.

WEBSTORE --> [link]

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/12416575/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/12416575/ Sun, 01 Apr 2007 13:00:43 PDT And hopefully you'll buy a keychain or something to show your support. And don't go to my sister's booth because she's better than me and I'll never forgive you. xP


I also wanted to say thanks to everyone who faved or added me while I was away. I'm so touched!! Thank you!

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/11446476/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/11446476/ Mon, 15 Jan 2007 11:04:07 PST

Photo shoot tonight. I'm so nervous. Check out why: studiojimon.com

wish me luck

]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/10732868/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/10732868/ Wed, 15 Nov 2006 10:41:23 PST Ok, I have to go get ready for work. I just wanted to brag about how much my boyfriend loves me and how much I love him, and how spoiled and disgustingly happy I am. So nyaaaa!


Vanilla Tragedy


I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!

"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:


~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/10710894/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/10710894/ Tue, 14 Nov 2006 12:13:17 PST
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So I was thinking I'd like to set up a print account, mostly for my photos. But then I thought it may violate the agreement between the photographers and myself because I'd be making a profit.....I don't know..... Any thoughts from anyone who knows how these things work?? :confusded:

Vanilla Tragedy


I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!

"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:


http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/10705506/ Sun, 12 Nov 2006 20:07:16 PST elusiveTouch for an awesome day! I'm pleased with the initial raw results and with the two finished products that David has sent to me. I had a lot of fun doing this shoot. As those images continue to be processed I will try to frequently update my gallery. Hope you enjoy them!

I also won a spot in the 2007 calendar!! I'm so excited! Thank you to all the judges in the contest for allowing me a place in the beautiful calendar. I'm so excited!!

Ugh on a less pleasant note my life is going to become more trying for the next...god knows how long. I'm involved in a civil matter which is causing me much financial trouble. Or I should say Us. It's very worrying to me and I wish for anything to make it go away. At least it's turned civil and no longer criminal. But suffice it to say that we're deeply in debt, and looks a bit grim. *sigh* Oh well....

I'm off to upload the last of the finished images from my shoot and then go eat dinner. Have a good night everyone! And go check out *elusiveTouch's gallery!

Vanilla Tragedy


I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!

"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:


... ]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/10678404/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/10678404/ Fri, 10 Nov 2006 10:26:35 PST
Should be very interesting. I still haven't picked out an outfit for it yet, and I'm thinking of dyeing my hair black before I go.

And me and Michael's six month anniversary is in five days! I can't believe it's been so long. It feels like just yesterday. :3

Anyway I'm running short of time so that's it for now. Ta!

V.T.

I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!

"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:





~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/10570998/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/10570998/ Tue, 31 Oct 2006 12:59:09 PST You'll all be disappointed to know that, queen of darkness though I am, I'm going dressed as a bootiful fairy.

I'm feeling very...um..erotic today. I want to be out workingon photoshoots and making sexy art, not going to teach at the preschool. They just don't go well together Nothing new to report right now as far as updates. as always I've been sort of busy. By the middle of next month though I shall have new photo sets posted since I've had a flood of photoshoot offers beginning after the first of the month. I'm very excited! So that being said, during that time expect to see even less of me.

I want to thank everyone for all the faves I've gotten, particularly on the Cosfrog series. I'm honored!

So, here's whats been happing in my world as of late:
Went to Michael's birthday party at his mom's house, and almost threw up for no apparent reason. That was fun.

Went to Halloween party with Michael's family. Always a treat in it's own awkward way.

Got lots of offers for photoshoots and TFP work.
So yeah. Gues that's all. Not too much excitement really. But sometimes that's good. I gotta go get ready for work now, so you all have a fun and safe Halloween. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Ciao~
V.T./b>

I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!

"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:

http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/10319714/ Sat, 07 Oct 2006 22:41:20 PDT As you can see I uploaded a crapload of stuff, mostly from the last few months. I'm taking this downtime to catch up.

I had to post a note in the description of "AB Positive" in order to disuade people from their opinion that it was a sexual fetish and not a psychological mindset. *sigh* some people can be so closed-minded

It's almost time to hop off the comp, but tomorrow while the bf is at work I think I shall continue my mad flooding of sketchies. If I feel well enough to get out of bed. >.< Enjoy the new works. At least I hope you do. :3 Nighty night!
V.T.


I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!

"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:


http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/10270690/ Tue, 03 Oct 2006 12:09:26 PDT

So, the reception of my AB Positive was much warmer than I'd expected. Don't misunderstand, it's not a sex fetish portrait, but I couldn't think of anything else to classify it as. AB stands for "Adult Baby," though I much prefer the term Teen Baby, except that you can't make a joke out of it. The fetish is more focused on being the baby, instead of looking at it. But fetish is such a nasty seeming word. Go look up teen baby on google, and you can find out more about it

So yeah...I'm still needing to scan and upload like a billion trillion drawings, but it's so hard to find the time, plus the scanner is on the downstairs computer which runs slower than a rock. It's hard to bring myself to use it. I might have time before Michael comes home from work...he has two jobs now, so I don't like to be doing solitary things when he's home since I never see him.

Anyway I guess that's it. If you want to see more of the AB Positive series, clamor for more, biotches. hehehe. I'm going to ride off into the...uh...sunset, even though it's noon, on my horse. *wave*
Vanilla Tragedy

I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!

"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:


http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/10110915/ Mon, 18 Sep 2006 11:47:53 PDT
And I have a cold.
Had surgery on my toe for a nasty infection, unfortunately now the incision the doctor made is infected instead. Trip to the podiatrist next week. Yay. So I guess that's all for now. Did a new work yesterday but god only knows when I'll have it up. I"m going to go console the grumping boyfriend and hope that I don't end up just annoying him. I don't want him to thi nk I'm mad, I'm just.....lacking confidence. Aaaanyway......hopefully see you all again sometime soon.


V.T.





I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!

"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder if you know I'm still awake in the seat beside you, as we drive down the greyed-in road, watching you sing softly the words to the song on the radio, the muted light warming your face. I wonder what the song makes you think about. Even in a whisper you sing so passionately. Does it remind you of someone? Could it ever be me?
I've never seen you as beautiful as you are now, lost in your own dawn world, unaware that I'm awake beside you, taking you in. You never see me seeing you, all you see is the road ahead and whatever is playing behind your eyes. I want to reach out to you, but I know that to cause this pure, innocent bubble to burst would be unforgiveable. This dawn is your time, just like it's my time as I watch you exist privately beside me.
I pull the blanket around my shoulders and my eyes start to close. Before they do, I see you glance at me caringly and your hand reaches out to turn down the radio. When your attention shifts once more to the heathered landscape my eyes slip shut. The grey light spills on my face as I hold the picture of you in my mind as you were in the sullen sleepy sunrise. In the dawn that was ours together, and ours alone. And I smile.
I wrote this. Don't steal from me. Or you will die.
--V.T.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:

http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/9952838/ Sun, 03 Sep 2006 15:17:20 PDT
V.T.





I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!

"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder if you know I'm still awake in the seat beside you, as we drive down the greyed-in road, watching you sing softly the words to the song on the radio, the muted light warming your face. I wonder what the song makes you think about. Even in a whisper you sing so passionately. Does it remind you of someone? Could it ever be me?
I've never seen you as beautiful as you are now, lost in your own dawn world, unaware that I'm awake beside you, taking you in. You never see me seeing you, all you see is the road ahead and whatever is playing behind your eyes. I want to reach out to you, but I know that to cause this pure, innocent bubble to burst would be unforgiveable. This dawn is your time, just like it's my time as I watch you exist privately beside me.
I pull the blanket around my shoulders and my eyes start to close. Before they do, I see you glance at me caringly and your hand reaches out to turn down the radio. When your attention shifts once more to the heathered landscape my eyes slip shut. The grey light spills on my face as I hold the picture of you in my mind as you were in the sullen sleepy sunrise. In the dawn that was ours together, and ours alone. And I smile.
I wrote this. Don't steal from me. Or you will die.
--V.T.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:


http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/9748816/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/9748816/ Wed, 16 Aug 2006 13:39:09 PDT there is a new layout.... Not sure how I feel about it yet. It's ....um, different. It looks spiff, but I sorta liked the ghetto DA. Eh, what can you do...

I'm under so much stress lately that I'm going to burst. I'm doing what my boyfriend called earlier today "boiling over." A lot of things have been changing in my life. I went on vacation on the fifth of august. I was going to post a journal about it, but I was too busy. The vacation ended up going to hell in a hatbox anyway. The boyfriend and I pulled up stakes and took off from the camping trip without telling anyone, seeing as how his mom had abused him in front of the family for the last time. >.< Uuuugh. There's a lot of trying things going on that I can't talk about, for fear that the wrong ears may hear it. I can't even mention it here. Talk about shitty. SO I keep it all inside and let it come bubbling out my ears when I can't take it anymore. I had a breakdown today because of all the shit going on, thankfully today is my day off from work. I'm not sure when I'm going to have the time to be back on here, let alone submit any art. Things have gone really nuts. I'll be sure to pop in whenever I can, espcecially since I have my own computer now. I guess that's it. I just feel like shit.
V.T.

I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!

"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder if you know I'm still awake in the seat beside you, as we drive down the greyed-in road, watching you sing softly the words to the song on the radio, the muted light warming your face. I wonder what the song makes you think about. Even in a whisper you sing so passionately. Does it remind you of someone? Could it ever be me?
I've never seen you as beautiful as you are now, lost in your own dawn world, unaware that I'm awake beside you, taking you in. You never see me seeing you, all you see is the road ahead and whatever is playing behind your eyes. I want to reach out to you, but I know that to cause this pure, innocent bubble to burst would be unforgiveable. This dawn is your time, just like it's my time as I watch you exist privately beside me.
I pull the blanket around my shoulders and my eyes start to close. Before they do, I see you glance at me caringly and your hand reaches out to turn down the radio. When your attention shifts once more to the heathered landscape my eyes slip shut. The grey light spills on my face as I hold the picture of you in my mind as you were in the sullen sleepy sunrise. In the dawn that was ours together, and ours alone. And I smile.
I wrote this. Don't steal from me. Or you will die.
--V.T.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:

~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/9443764/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/9443764/ Fri, 21 Jul 2006 01:21:24 PDT AND MICHAEL'S COMING HOME!!!!!

Ah it couldn't be a better friday. The second day of the San Diego Comic Con International is tomorrow, and my dear sweet Tigger will be on his way home as I attend. Then I'll come home and throw myself into his arms! Wheeeeeee! I'm going to the convention dressed as Chii from the Japanese comic "Chobits," and my sister is going as Chii's dark twin Freya. I'll post some pics as soon as I have some to post. It's going to be such awesome fun!

So I noticed there has been a massive public outcry for my CosFrog shoots. Many many faves and comments, thanks everyone! I'm so glad that you all like them so much. ^_^; I want to post some more of my artwork but time doesn't exactly fall out my ass. And as soon as Jeff has the time, I'll post the rest of my first shoot, and maybe some of the new ones.

My hamsties are doing great, growing up nice and strong. Still about as long as my thumb, but growing like crazy! My runt, Jellybean is still funny looking, she has the longest fuzziest hair I've ever seen on this breed of hamster. But she's doing well, growing healthy and doing muuuuch better than when she came under my care. I worry about the new rat Pointy, though. :-/

Anyway that's all for now, I mustn't dilly or dally. I'm tired as fuck and I gotta get plenty of rest to prepare for the con and to warmly welcome my darling babe back home. YEEEESSS! I waited a whole fucking week for him to come back to me. I thought I was gonna die! O.O; yyyyyaaaaaaY! Okay, ta ta!
V.T.

I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!

"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder if you know I'm still awake in the seat beside you, as we drive down the greyed-in road, watching you sing softly the words to the song on the radio, the muted light warming your face. I wonder what the song makes you think about. Even in a whisper you sing so passionately. Does it remind you of someone? Could it ever be me?
I've never seen you as beautiful as you are now, lost in your own dawn world, unaware that I'm awake beside you, taking you in. You never see me seeing you, all you see is the road ahead and whatever is playing behind your eyes. I want to reach out to you, but I know that to cause this pure, innocent bubble to burst would be unforgiveable. This dawn is your time, just like it's my time as I watch you exist privately beside me.
I pull the blanket around my shoulders and my eyes start to close. Before they do, I see you glance at me caringly and your hand reaches out to turn down the radio. When your attention shifts once more to the heathered landscape my eyes slip shut. The grey light spills on my face as I hold the picture of you in my mind as you were in the sullen sleepy sunrise. In the dawn that was ours together, and ours alone. And I smile.
I wrote this. Don't steal from me. Or you will die.
--V.T.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:
<... ]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/9381251/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/9381251/ Sat, 15 Jul 2006 00:39:27 PDT Sick again. But that would be something new. I think I got food poisoning. Or I've just gone made with the heat. O_o Interesting days of late. I have now in my care a trio of three-week-old baby hamsters that a customer brought to my work. They are almost the cutest things I've ever seen -- second only to my boyfriend. Hahaha, I'm disgusting, so sue me. But yeah, the hammies...I don't have names for them yet, but there's two bigger ones who can eat on their own, and a third smaller runty guy to whom I feed milk replacer. There used to be four, but the fourth one was the runtiest runt and sadly he passed away last night. The remaining three, however, I am confident will survive - nay, thrive!- just fine.

Took Michael to the airport today. It really sucked. I miss him ever so dreadfully!!! I want to cry. He told me he loves me!!! He's gonna blush when he sees that I'm ranting about this on here, but I have to tell the whole world. So you can just hush, Michael. And I love hearin him say he loves me. <33 Ugh, but tomorrow he's going camping up there and won't be in a service area for TWO DAYS!!! Omg. This really sucks. I talked to him on the phone for like three hours though. I got super sick and when I got home I just lay in bed and talked to him. OH! What's worse, is he found out what my surprise is~!! I mentioned it in my last journal post and I forgot that he reads my stuff from time to time. Um yeah, web journals not condusive to keeping surprises as such. X( Oh well.

The shoot went well, we got a few good ones IMO. I was NOT on the ball today, and it showed. I was in traffic in 90 degree heat for an hour and a half, all the while worrying that I was going to be horribly late and make Jeff want to decimate me. x_x He still got to watch Stargate, so I think I'm in the clear. >_> *shifty face* Anyway, yeah that's been my last few days. I miss my baby and I don't want to go to bed alone tonight. But I'm exhausted and dehydrated. So go to bed alone I must. But he says that I'm never alone - he's with me every time I close my eyes. So then, kiddies. Tinkerbell is off to Neverland.
Vanilla Tragedy
"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder if you know I'm still awake in the seat beside you, as we drive down the greyed-in road, watching you sing softly the words to the song on the radio, the muted light warming your face. I wonder what the song makes you think about. Even in a whisper you sing so passionately. Does it remind you of someone? Could it ever be me?
I've never seen you as beautiful as you are now, lost in your own dawn world, unaware that I'm awake beside you, taking you in. You never see me seeing you, all you see is the road ahead and whatever is playing behind your eyes. I want to reach out to you, but I know that to cause this pure, innocent bubble to burst would be unforgiveable. This dawn is your time, just like it's my time as I watch you exist privately beside me.
I pull the blanket around my shoulders and my eyes start to close. Before they do, I see you glance at me caringly and your hand reaches out to turn down the radio. When your attention shifts once more to the heathered landscape my eyes slip shut. The grey light spills on my face as I hold the picture of you in my mind as you were in the sullen sleepy sunrise. In the dawn that was ours together, and ours alone. And I smile.
I wrote this. Don't steal from me. Or you will die.
--V.T.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:
~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/9294338/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/9294338/ Thu, 06 Jul 2006 16:34:31 PDT
Got lots of art to submit, more photos on the way and a new shoot I'm planning to do, only if Jeff can help me out. There's no other photographer that could do what I'm thinking. Jeff's style would just be PERFECT for what I have in mind. I'm doing it for my bf, so you may not see too many of them unless Jeff decides to post any that he may keep. I'm excited and I know the bf will love it. <333 I'll try the best I can to get some work up tonight, seeing as how I don't have another day off until saturday. >.< Fuckers. I hate that place.

Anyway, I'm off to buy tickets for the midnight showing of Pirates of the Carribbean 2! W00t w00t, I'm so in love with Jack Sparrow!!!! It's gonna be such an awesome movie!! Mwhahahahahaha! haha...hahah..ah..*cough* Umm...yeah. So that's it for now.
Vanilla Tragedy


"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder if you know I'm still awake in the seat beside you, as we drive down the greyed-in road, watching you sing softly the words to the song on the radio, the muted light warming your face. I wonder what the song makes you think about. Even in a whisper you sing so passionately. Does it remind you of someone? Could it ever be me?
I've never seen you as beautiful as you are now, lost in your own dawn world, unaware that I'm awake beside you, taking you in. You never see me seeing you, all you see is the road ahead and whatever is playing behind your eyes. I want to reach out to you, but I know that to cause this pure, innocent bubble to burst would be unforgiveable. This dawn is your time, just like it's my time as I watch you exist privately beside me.
I pull the blanket around my shoulders and my eyes start to close. Before they do, I see you glance at me caringly and your hand reaches out to turn down the radio. When your attention shifts once more to the heathered landscape my eyes slip shut. The grey light spills on my face as I hold the picture of you in my mind as you were in the sullen sleepy sunrise. In the dawn that was ours together, and ours alone. And I smile.
I wrote this. Don't steal from me. Or you will die.
--V.T.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:

~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/9231833/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/9231833/ Fri, 30 Jun 2006 12:33:36 PDT Busy busy busy as always.
I went to the Electric Daisy Carnival and it was a total blast! I danced my pants off. It was too hot though, 83 degrees at 3 a.m. It was still awesome though. And Michael came home that saturday too. I missed him!! He went to his cousin's gallery exhibit in San Fran. I'm so jealous, he got to meet Bjork! His cousin is Matthew Barney, an interesting and innovative modernish expressionist-ish type artist, and he and Bjork have been involved for some time. My boyfriend's cousin is dating Bjork. AAAAND is a really cool renowned artist!

Yesterday I had the greatest day. I wasn't feeling well so I called in sick to work. Michael took me out to lunch and Jamba Juice (which is a yuppie juice version of Starbucks), then we went back to his house where I took a nap and he tooled around the house. I did a drawing too, which I'll have to post sometime soon. After I woke up I asked to go to the beach to look at the stars. Of course, he obliged. Then we got hot chocolate because I'd commented about being curious as to whether or not we had hot cocoa stuff at me house. He's so thoughtful that it makes me feel like a butthole, lol. After that we went back to my house a played Kingdom Hearts. Even though I wasn't feeling well, I still had a fantastic day.
Oh, aside from work telling me they were going to write me up for calling in sick.....Fuckers.

I have to be at work today in about for hours. >.< OH god, that reminds me, I totally got my boyfriend demoted. He was my supervisor, and naturally everyone found out about us, so he stepped down rather than transfer to another store or break up with me. I feel so awful!! But he told me that it was his choice and blah blah blah since he's so sweet like that. Ugh. Work sucks.

So I guess that's about it aside from that. Got a lot of new drawings to put up, but I'm not sure when I'll get the time to do it. I think I have wednesday off, and Michael is working so maybe I'll do it then while he's at work. I've been surprisingly prolific despite having very little freetime. Nothing monumental though. Mostly just bored doodles while I'm stuck on the register at work. A few new Woozles, since they aren't a huge endeavor. So yeah, I guess that's all. This update is longer than I'd expected, phew. I have to potty anyways, so TTFN, ta ta for now!
Vanilla Tragedy

"They won't see us waving from such great heights,
Come down now they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away..."
Such Great Heights, The Postal Service
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder if you know I'm still awake in the seat beside you, as we drive down the greyed-in road, watching you sing softly the words to the song on the radio, the muted light warming your face. I wonder what the song makes you think about. Even in a whisper you sing so passionately. Does it remind you of someone? Could it ever be me?
I've never seen you as beautiful as you are now, lost in your own dawn world, unaware that I'm awake beside you, taking you in. You never see me seeing you, all you see is the road ahead and whatever is playing behind your eyes. I want to reach out to you, but I know that to cause this pure, innocent bubble to burst would be unforgiveable. This dawn is your time, just like it's my time as I watch you exist privately beside me.
I pull the blanket around my shoulders and my eyes start to close. Before they do, I see you glance at me caringly and your hand reaches out to turn down the radio. When your attention shifts once more to the heathered landscape my eyes slip shut. The grey light spills on my face as I hold the picture of you in my mind as you were in the sullen sleepy sunrise. In the dawn that was ours together, and ours alone. And I smile.
I wrote this. Don't steal from me. Or you will die.
--V.T.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/9111431/ Mon, 19 Jun 2006 02:05:56 PDT
Not much new to report other than:
1: I have a boyfriend. In case you didn't effing notice that I can't shut up about him.
2: I miss him.
3: I have a day off tomorrow!!! whooooO!

Lots of new art on the way, just need to find the time to get it scanned. I'll try to do that tomorrow, if I ever get out of bed. Bleh, so tired. My birthday was okay, I thought it would be more exciting, what with the 06/06/06 and all. But I had a great time going to luch, work, and dinner with my boyfriend that day. ^_^ So it was lovely. Ummmm....I think that's all. Going to Electric Daisy Carnival on saturday, which is a big rave with carnival rides and little 'shops' if you will. Michael's going out of town on thursday, so I'm going to be all wonewy. Bah. But the upside of that is he comes home, so there IS a shiny side to every coin. And then next month is the Comic Con International, for which I simply cannot wait. More on that later, it's too far off for me to stay up talking about. I have to go to bed before I fricking fall over. Goodnight everyone!
Vanilla Tragedy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder if you know I'm still awake in the seat beside you, as we drive down the greyed-in road, watching you sing softly the words to the song on the radio, the muted light warming your face. I wonder what the song makes you think about. Even in a whisper you sing so passionately. Does it remind you of someone? Could it ever be me?
I've never seen you as beautiful as you are now, lost in your own dawn world, unaware that I'm awake beside you, taking you in. You never see me seeing you, all you see is the road ahead and whatever is playing behind your eyes. I want to reach out to you, but I know that to cause this pure, innocent bubble to burst would be unforgiveable. This dawn is your time, just like it's my time as I watch you exist privately beside me.
I pull the blanket around my shoulders and my eyes start to close. Before they do, I see you glance at me caringly and your hand reaches out to turn down the radio. When your attention shifts once more to the heathered landscape my eyes slip shut. The grey light spills on my face as I hold the picture of you in my mind as you were in the sullen sleepy sunrise. In the dawn that was ours together, and ours alone. And I smile.
I wrote this. Don't steal from me. Or you will die.
--V.T.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:

http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8974111/ Mon, 05 Jun 2006 01:18:08 PDT
Tuesday is my birthday. Whee. It doesn't matter much to me, really. I dunno why...It's weird. I get to spend it at work, closing. Whee again. Oh well. I have the next day off because of a psychiatrist appointment and the day after that so I can go to dinner with my bf and his dad. Which sounds scary, lol. But the point of that sentence was to say that since I have those two days off in a row I'll try to talk my friends into having some cool party or something, get a bit messed up and just chill or somethin'. I dunno. Uhh...I think that's all the semi-important drivel I have to spew at you. Other than the usual stuff. Went to bf's house and he made dinner for me and one of our friends. It was fun. And he's too cute and nice to me. It's frustrating sometimes, lol, cuz I feel like I don't give much back, even though I try really hard. Had work today, obviously. But we got off at 7:30, yaaay. And work again tomorrow, boo. I don't want to go. I'm not sure why, I just really want to chillax. I have 37 hours this week omg.

Bleh. I guess that's all. I really should go to bed. But first, a joke: (if you've read my most recent myCRAPspace blog, you'll know this one.)
How do you make an elephant laugh??
go for it. First one to get the answer gets a cookie.

That's all for now, I guess. See y'all later. It's funny though, for as well as I'm doing, I still haven't lost my dry sense of humor and bitter-sounding writing style. I sound like a bitch Goodnight, and goodluck.
Vanilla Tragedy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder if you know I'm still awake in the seat beside you, as we drive down the greyed-in road, watching you sing softly the words to the song on the radio, the muted light warming your face. I wonder what the song makes you think about. Even in a whisper you sing so passionately. Does it remind you of someone? Could it ever be me?
I've never seen you as beautiful as you are now, lost in your own dawn world, unaware that I'm awake beside you, taking you in. You never see me seeing you, all you see is the road ahead and whatever is playing behind your eyes. I want to reach out to you, but I know that to cause this pure, innocent bubble to burst would be unforgiveable. This dawn is your time, just like it's my time as I watch you exist privately beside me.
I pull the blanket around my shoulders and my eyes start to close. Before they do, I see you glance at me caringly and your hand reaches out to turn down the radio. When your attention shifts once more to the heathered landscape my eyes slip shut. The grey light spills on my face as I hold the picture of you in my mind as you were in the sullen sleepy sunrise. In the dawn that was ours together, and ours alone. And I smile.
I wrote this. Don't steal from me. Or you will die.
--V.T.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


Finally found a place to belong:
http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8896084/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8896084/ Sat, 27 May 2006 19:53:40 PDT .< Jen and Michael fell asleep and I stayed up. We had to leave Jen's house at six thirty so she could get to work. Dropped her off, then got dropped off at my house. Apparently Jill (our manager) was supposed to open the store this morning and didn't. So Michael ended up opening the store, going home and sleeping at nine, then going back to work at four. That's so crappy. And still that crazy kid wants to hang out and catch a movie tonight. I don't know what his malfunction is, I'm not that entertaining.

I was going to try to put up some artwork, but I work till ten then go out until god knows when...So it gets kind of tough. I did a lot more drawings at work yesterday because I was sooooo hellishly bored. But I left them in Mike's van. d'oh! I really got a kick out of the Extreme Hamster Zero duo. Don't worry, you'll understand soon enough. I'm puttin up the REAL first photo of the =cosfrog shoot, the one that I linked to in my journal when it was first put up. Other than that, not much going on I guess. I have work at seven in the morning and I want to put a bullet in my head. I hate waking up early. I'm already so tired.....*dies*

Oh, I forgot to mention this when it all happened. I got a puppy. And my baby rat Berzerker died. May she rest in peace... Ummmm, so NOW I guess that's it. I have to shower before the young'un gets off work. Hahaha, I'm older than him by four months! When I turn 20 in a week and a half, he'll still be 19!! Hahahahahaha *cough*
Ok. That's enough. Sayonara, minnasan.
V.T.

I wonder if you know I'm still awake in the seat beside you, as we drive down the greyed-in road, watching you sing softly the words to the song on the radio, the muted light warming your face. I wonder what the song makes you think about. Even in a whisper you sing so passionately. Does it remind you of someone? Could it ever be me?
I've never seen you as beautiful as you are now, lost in your own dawn world, unaware that I'm awake beside you, taking you in. You never see me seeing you, all you see is the road ahead and whatever is playing behind your eyes. I want to reach out to you, but I know that to cause this pure, innocent bubble to burst would be unforgiveable. This dawn is your time, just like it's my time as I watch you exist privately beside me.
I pull the blanket around my shoulders and my eyes start to close. Before they do, I see you glance at me caringly and your hand reaches out to turn down the radio. When your attention shifts once more to the heathered landscape my eyes slip shut. The grey light spills on my face as I hold the picture of you in my mind as you were in the sullen sleepy sunrise. In the dawn that was ours together, and ours alone. And I smile.
I wrote this. Don't steal from me. Or you will die.
--V.T.
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My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


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~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8874278/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8874278/ Thu, 25 May 2006 13:39:01 PDT YAY FOR !!

Was up too late drinking too much again last night. Not too much in a bad way, it's just that I got drunk, instead of slightly toasty. I'm exhausted and I have to be at the doctor in ten minutes and it isn't looking like I'm getting a ride. >.< I also have work today at four. Grrr! But I'll be working wid mah boy , so it won't be all bad.
Except that we're AT WORRRRK! :[

aaaaack, time for doctor's appointment! Seeee yaaaaaa!
Vanilla Tragedy

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]


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~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8855446/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8855446/ Tue, 23 May 2006 15:25:32 PDT _<;;

I think I"m getting an ear infection again. It really blows. So anyway...Jeff's been super busy, so no processing for me. I'm still peeing my pants to see them! Hehehe. Well, I guess that's it for now. If I don't fall over dead from working full-time during the summer, there should be an influx of artwork up here. I hope. I have to go to the bathroom and shower, I have a hott date...with my manager. That consists of closing the store. -_-;; Aaaaaanywho.... Cheers!
Vanilla Tragedy

My Webstore! [link]
Myspace [link]



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http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8798206/ Thu, 18 May 2006 18:34:05 PDT I Cosfrog

[link]

***********
Just dropping in to tell everyone I'm still alive....
Just did a shoot with Jeff aka =cosfrog yesterday. I had fun actually, though he'd never have known it - I was soooo uptight. But now I know what it's like and I'm really disappointed I couldn't just have had more fun with it.

In my spare time lately I've been hanging out with my new friends from work in the few hours between when I get off closing shift and about 2 in the a.m. So couple that with my new puppy, the death of one of my rats and working 40 hours a week, and you get me being absent from The World. It sucks, I miss DA and I wish I had time for art. Oh well, can't mope about it now or I'll have a shitty day at work, which incidentally I have to get ready for now.

Thanks again to Froggie for the great experience! I loved some of the pictures we saw last night. I guess that's all for now everybody. Take care and I"ll see you soon!
spookily yours,
V.T.

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http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8611982/ Fri, 28 Apr 2006 13:19:59 PDT cosfrog has agreed to do a shoot with me in about three weeks. I'm so excited but really nervous! I dunno, I'm worried like, what if I freeze up? Or what if I turn out like Ben Stiller's character in Zoolander and only have 'one look' ? Froggie is a terrific photographer, so I'm sure the photos will look great, but I'm not so sure that the model will. I guess I have plenty of time to practice, so that's good.

I guess that's about all the news for now, I've been working so much I've had very little time for any art. I drew something when I was at the convention in AZ, so I'll have to get that scanned and get some of the smudgies out with photoshop. Other than that I've got squat. I DID see silent hill this week though. The MOST badass movie!! It's so true to the game series and it's by far the best videogame movie ever made. I'm SO buying it when it comes out on DVD. I've seen it in the theater twice, and I"m going again with my friend Teddy. It's sooo freaking cool.

Anyway I suppose that's that. I have to go put on my monkey suit now and get ready for another action-packed eight hours at Petco. I SO don't feel like going to work today. -_- It's cloudy out and I'd much rather stay at home and be lazy and artistic. Oh well. Art doesn't pay the bills, now does it? *sigh* At least I'm closing with my homies of the Closing Crew, so that'll make things a little better. A little. That's it. Aside from go buy things from my webstore damn you!! [link] !! Until next time, my adoring fans.
V.T.

HEY, my best friend - you know who you are! I <3 you!!

Finally found a place to belong:


http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8585604/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8585604/ Tue, 25 Apr 2006 19:48:50 PDT Hate surrounds my life until you bring me peace again
Your voice is all I need to keep the hurt from seeping in
One last time I call your name
And you save me once again

My only love, I bleed for you
And I can't let go
No matter what I do
Your face, so sweet
I never want to see you go

As I lay there dying in your arms, you weep for me
You brush a kiss against my lips, and then I'm whole again
My pain disappears as I lay with you, and we become one soul
I feel your arms close around me tight
And I know I can go on

My only love, I bleed for you
And I can't let go
No matter what I do
Your face, so sweet
I never want to see you go

--Flesh Field, "My Savior"

HEY, my best friend - you know who you are! I <3 you!!

Finally found a place to belong:




]]> ~Myblackisblacker http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8401672/ http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8401672/ Fri, 07 Apr 2006 19:50:47 PDT should be temporary, but if the pain gets bad again tonight I'll have to go to the emergency room tomorrow. Whee.

I went to the interview with the talent agency. I didn't get hired, but I'm still super stoked because now I have an interview in my reptoire and I know what to expect from future interviews. So it was really cool. Plus it was a trip up to L.A. with my mom and after the interview we went to lunch and stuff and it was all raining and cool. So I had fun anyway. I hung out with Mr. Best Friend again recently and as before had a super good time. He laughed at me because the new medication I take to treat my bipolar disorder makes me talk a lot and be really outgoing. I think it reminded him of the 'old' me that he misses so much. We got yelled at by the cops for being parked on the side of a street that wasn't finished yet in the middle of the night. Then we went to his house for like five minutes so he could show me his bitchin synthesizer. It was fun.

Next week I'll be heading off to Arizona to exhibit at a convention. This is my second year in a row at this particular convention, I'm fast becoming a veteran exhibitor. heh. Unfortunately for me it's an anime convention. >_< I'm no longer an anime dork, although there are a good many anime that I enjoy. And my art style is not anime anymore, although it used to be. My sis does anime-ish work, and I'm sharing a booth with her, so I'm secretly showcasing my non-anime work in anime territory. So, if any of you live in the Phoenix area or plan to be there, you should come out to the "Anizona" convention and say howdy to me. ^_-

Oh, also....(I know this is a long journal but I've been gone for weeks so bite me.) Somebody finally bought something from my webstore!!
[link]
I'm so excited! I only made four dollars off of it, but I don't care about the money, I'm just glad that somebody liked my work enough to wear it on a tshirt. It's soooo cool! Also, I'm going to start taking request from my watchers as to what art I should turn into merchandise. So if you have any ideas, drop me a note or something. I guess that's it for now, I'm starting to feel sick from staring at the damn computer with this headcold. Farewell!
Vanilla Tragedy


HEY, my best friend - you know who you are! I <3 you!!

Finally found a place to belong:

http://Myblackisblacker.deviantart.com/journal/8279833/ Sun, 26 Mar 2006 23:09:02 PST I got the job at the new pet store by my house, which will be paying me drastically more than my last job. Tomorrow I'm going to call my old boss and give him the business. I start on wednesday and I already have 24 hours in my first week of work. Whee. I also have an interview with a talent agency on tuesday. that's kinda cool. uhhh....what else....? I guess that's all. For now. I'm going to go now, so that I may watch t.v. and drink vanilla flavored vodka. That's always something fun, hehehehe. Goodnight my pretties!
Vanilla Tragedy

HEY, my best friend - you know who you are! I <3 you!!

Finally found a place to belong:




]]> ~Myblackisblacker