http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Nako&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Nako en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 06:31:02 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/26279491/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/26279491/ Thu, 30 Jul 2009 15:21:56 PDT
So pretty much, I'm open for art trades. This is just something lighthearted, not to be taken too seriously. It can be a sketch trade, a lineart trade, or all out full color. I'm also cool with flat color; that's always fun. There's really only one catch; I want my insanely complicated dragon alien girl drawn. Dragon form, human form... either way is fine. I'm -really- hoping to get some artwork done of her harassing Vulcans, which is what she is good at.


But... I'm also willing to buy commissions, but be warned that this is nowhere near as lighthearted as the trade. I'll be expecting to see 'in progress' sketches so that you can make changes that I see fit, and will be expecting all the 'little' things to be correct... things that I'd not bat an eyelash at in a trade. Now, I'm not going to say I want her ears to be -exactly- so and so inches long in human form, or that I want her to be -exactly- so and so tall... but if you draw one too many toes on her dragon form, or if you make her ears mobile when they actually are fixed in place.. or say you don't do her eyes or sensors right, I -will- call you on it. Why am I so picky? Because I'm paying for it. <3

So, here's the character. Post here or note me if you are interested in a trade or if you would like to sell me a commission.

[link]

]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/17649175/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/17649175/ Wed, 02 Apr 2008 10:17:33 PDT Come to a world.. where normalcy can be as fun as the bizarre!

During 11th Pass in a northern Weyr on the Tillek peninsula, a housing carved out of a great canyon would be home to a slowly growing dragon population, stationed there from it's sister Weyr to help take over some territory that happened to be too far and too wide for a nearby Weyr to include in their territory. For forty years prior to the move, the stone smiths worked diligently to make it into a working Weyr, making it a part of their home as they did. When the move finally came, many of the Smiths left, but a group stayed behind to oversee the finishing of certain projects within the stone walls. Many of these people were wherhandlers, and they still live within a southern alcove of the Weyr, only coming out at night when the traffic of people is low to resume their work.

Other than the renovation of the canyon, Kharasi is a struggling Weyr with small numbers that is often supplemented with their Sister Weyr's dragons for threadfall. After a few clutches though, this should change dramatically. After a long 3 turns of not rising, the queen finally took flight and was caught by bronze Behemath. They made a fine clutch of 23 eggs, but no queen egg. It is hoped that this next flight will have more luck.On top of strain of dragon numbers, Kharasi deals with corruption from one of its Holds, Thyra. They often go into lapses of shirking their tithes, but a recent skirmish has put them in line.. for now.

Kharasi is a Weyr that is mostly canon. Dragon sizes have been revised to a slightly more.. believable scale, and it is believed that between the 9th and 11th Pass of breeding large dragons, the difference in sizes between the colors shrank a bit. Greens are still dwarfed by bronzes and golds, but now it doesn't look like the bronze might be able to -kill- a green just by flying her. Other stipulations in the size is that browns are now more apt to fly queens, and have a better chance than they did 2 Passes ago.

Also, though bronze and queenriders have to remain heterosexual, the sexuality of brown to greenriders is not considered a bit deal. There can be straight male greenriders and straight female blueriders. Because of browns being able to fly golds, we do not allow female brownriders. Also, strictly homosexual brownriders will almost never ride a brown that is interested in golds. This is to provide leniency in rp, but uphold to some traditions so that it doesn't get too... warped.

Some considerations from Todd McCaffrey's books, but this is restricted, and implemented only in that whers are also used for mining and stonecrafting of creating new Weyrs. They see in heat and in some moderate ability, luminous light, so glows are uncomfortable but will not send them screaming in pain. They cannot fly, and DO NOT eat thread. They have a keen sense of smell and can find 'bad air'. Their intelligence is better than a firelizard, but they cannot mindspeak at all.

Overall, we are a simple little Weyr trying to make a good rp with a canon site, but with a few leniencies. We have good, devoted rpers but they are few in number, so please don't be turned away if we do not post often. We are lenient in activity but promote being a very active rper, but we do not want anyone to shirt school or work for the rp. Soon, we may be considering a point system which rewards good rp and posting. This will be for both quality and quantity, and no worries about 'missing out' because very rarely will there be a prize that will be won and then noone else will get. It's not a contest, but merely a way of rewarding rpers. If you rp consistently but not necessarily often, you'll eventually reach those milestones.

Iolath will be rising within the next IRL month or so, so we are also accepting bronze and brownrider applications, but only a limited amount! Candidates are always welcome! If you have any questions, feel free to send me an email or an IM, both of which can be found under my profile

Kharasi Weyr Forums

]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/16890625/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/16890625/ Thu, 14 Feb 2008 21:15:31 PST I'm lucky enough to live only an hour or so away, so it's not going to be that bad of a drive. We have God Level badges again this year, so it's going to be AWESOME. They're taking us out someplace rather nice, and I can't wait to find out what it is.

So yeah. WOOHOO PARTY.

]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/16775936/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/16775936/ Thu, 07 Feb 2008 19:35:44 PST Commissions Are Open!!

FWA Badges:: I'm currently taking badge commissions for FWA. With this special offer you can pre-order and pay and pickup at FWA. I'll give you information on how to contact me at the convention and you can pick up your badge. Badge size is usually about the size of an index card or slightly larger. Price: $15


Ref Sheets:: I'm having a special where I am making very cheap reference sheets. These are for those that want a reference sheet for people to go by without spending tons of money or having to draw it yourself. I can do slightly different designs:

--Two side views (image ususally just flipped and designed to reflect opposite side) three small images (of eyes, closeup of jewelry or facial expressions)
--Front/back view: Shows the front and back of a character.. not my favorite to draw but I can probably manage.
--One large action image in detail with three small images.

Text and simple textured, color of similar background can be done. Complex backgrounds will cost extra. Also if you wish to have specific hex codes then you must either provide them or I will do a base coloring that you will have to approve and I will put the codes on the ref sheet.

The Catch:: These are ONLY digital and you will not recieve a print, but merely a url to an image that you can save to your computer.
The Benefit:: They are only $10!!!!


Regular Commissions Open!

Computer Drawn Images without a print or sketch will be $10 for the time being and you will recieve a url to the image to save to your computer.

For other options for normal commissions you will have to contact me.

]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/15847651/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/15847651/ Sat, 08 Dec 2007 11:35:55 PST
Well, I finished the badges I needed to do, so I'm opening up my commissions to do more! All badges are done on cardstock and then cut out and laminated. My general style is to draw the character then outline them in either marker or color pencil and leave the background white (I'll be cutting them out to shape instead of leaving all that blank space) I'm trying to get a few more commissions finished before I waste gas just going to get three badges laminated.. which is why I'm opening up my commissions! I don't have a scanner, but I have a digital camera which is what I'll be taking pictures of my work with to show you all.

I work with prismacolor markers and color pencils. I might eventually dabble in acrylics, but for now I need to practice with those before delving into that can of worms. So anyways, they vary in size, typically being at least around your typical index card size but sometimes they end up larger. It's kind of up to the muse as to what happens, so if you want a particular size, please specify. My rate is $15 per badge + shipping but may vary if the character is extremely detailed or if there are multiple characters. Also, I prefer to work with paypal.

So, just throw a message my way with the information of your character and a general outline of what you'd like your badge to look like and I'll get started ASAP

]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/15299960/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/15299960/ Wed, 31 Oct 2007 10:37:43 PDT 2. Be honest.
3. Tag 6 other people.

NAME: Brandy

BIRTHDAY: 07/04/1986

BIRTHPLACE: Georgia.

CURRENT LOCATION: Georgia.

EYE COLOUR: Greeny-gold with a hint of grey.. I think.

HAIR COLOUR: Light Brunette.. dirty blonde... looks.. ugly.

HEIGHT: 5'4" or 5'6"... I told the nurse 5'4" and she didn't believe me.. so took my weight with my shoes on... so maybe.. 5'5"..

L/R HANDED: Right.

THE SHOES YOU WORE TODAY: I haven't worn shoes today yet. Muhahahahaha!

YOUR WEAKNESS: When I let people close.

YOUR PERFECT PIZZA: Thick crust ham and pineapple pizza.

GOAL TO ACHIEVE THIS YEAR: Survive my job.

OUR MOST OVERUSED PHRASE ON AN INSTANT MESSENGER: 'XD' I'm pretty sure I confuse so many people I talk to who don't know what that smiley is.

YOUR BEDTIME: 2am at latest when I work mornings

YOUR MOST MISSED MEMORY: Hanging out with my friends in B-ville

PEPSI OR COKE: Coke by far. I don't even like coke, but pepsi tastes like something illegally brewed in the ass of a dead rhino.

McDONALDS OR BURGERKING: MICKY D'S!! CHICKEN SELECTS!!!
Woo!

SINGLE OR GROUP DATES: Both. To go to a Renaissance Fair I'd take other people, but to go to out in a nice restauraunt I'd want to be alone.

LIPTON ICE TEA OR NESTEA: Um... tea..?

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Chocolate. Vanilla has an obnoxious taste.

CAPPUCCINO OR COFFEE: CAFFEINE. I like cappuccino just to drink, but coffee with my breakfast.

DO YOU SMOKE: Used to, but quit.

DO YOU SWEAR: Like a sailor.

DO YOU SING: ... NEVAR!! Not while anyone can hear me anyways. I suck.

DO YOU SHOWER DAILY: I shower when my body requires cleansing, and do not set up my cleaning schedule with that of society expects of me. I WILL NOT CHAP MY ASS WITH DRYNESS FOR THE REPUBLICANS!!!!!!!!! No but seriously I shower.. probably every 24-35 hours or whenever needed, and I take a 30 minute bath where I scub my entire body with a coarse brush till I look like a lobsta

HAVE YOU BEEN IN LOVE: I think I've loved many times, been in love for a few of those times. In love now, methinks

DO YOU WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE: I do, but it's difficult for me to do right now.

DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED: Yeah, but only when I can afford the wedding I want AND can move into my own place right after, preferrably a house.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: .... maybe?

DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS: Sometimes.

ARE YOU A HEALTH FREAK: I believe in being clean but I do not believe in disinfecting everything. We are destroying our bodies that way because they have nothing to fight off and then our bodies give us allergies.

DO YOU LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: Yes.

DO YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT: No, but I wanna learn how to play the hang drum so bad.

In the past month have you

1. DRUNK ALCHOHOL: (Alcohol) and.. I think I had a margarita recently.
2. SMOKED: Nope!! Almost been two years now.
3. BEEN ON DRUGS: Nah
4. GONE TO A MALL: Yes, and spent almost 300 dollars on Victoria secret stuff.
5. EATEN A BOX OF OREOS: Nah. I'm not much for oreos actually
6. EATEN SUSHI: Yes. There's an awesome sushi place downtown.
7. BEEN ON STAGE: Nope
8. BEEN DUMPED: Better not happen. I'll throw him down some stairs.

DO YOU WORK: Yeah, I clean the kennels at Petland

IN A BOY/GIRL:

Girl:
FAVORITE EYE COLOUR: Always been a sucker for green
FAVORITE HAIR COLOUR: Shiny and healthy hair. Color doesn't matter.
SHORT OR LONG HAIR: As long as the cut is nice, either, but I like to play with long hair.
WEIGHT: I like a girl with a little meat on her bones, and will take em as big as they will get as long as the boobs stay perky and the curves don't turn into rolls of fatness. http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/12265026/ Tue, 20 Mar 2007 21:50:46 PDT
So yes! I will be working on that hopefully this week It's the coloring I need to finish.. no wonder I'm procrastinating XD lol.

But yes, don't worry draken, laiho, and.. that other dude XD I'll be finishing those tags soon.

]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/12137923/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/12137923/ Sat, 10 Mar 2007 23:49:51 PST
If you are a Tenacious D fan then you will love this movie. If you don't, then fuck you XD It's awesome. The music is awesome. The casting is awesome. It's so alive and animated and it's just absolutely great. The only thing better than the music would be the animated expressions of everyone who plays in this movie.

I don't even see this as a movie. This shit should be on broadway. This is a masterpiece beyond words, and the devil in this movie makes me moist with his cute demonic underbite XD Awesome. Holy cow, awesome.

It's not your typical movie. It's just.. awesome. You have to have an appreciation for different types of movies to truly enjoy this, I think. Not only do I love it because I'm a Tenacious D fan, but it is indeed different, and so far I can't find a single thing wrong with it. I could write forever about this movie.. but I must stop XD lol

]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/12071073/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/12071073/ Mon, 05 Mar 2007 17:04:14 PST
Work. Sleep. Homework. Eat. Sleep. Work. Sleep. Homework. Class. Sleep. X_X

I love my job, I honestly do, but I feel like I have no time for anything any more. I'll just say "I'll do this online stuff tomorrow" and then next thing I notice, it's been a week since I've done anything online. The sad thing, I waste away in front of the computer when I'm not working, eating, doing homework, or sleeping. WHAT am I doing in front of the computer?? Nothing. Staring and wishing I were asleep, but knowing I can't because if I go to sleep then I'll not sleep through the night and be tired the next day.

How do all you other people with lives cope??? x_x

Ugh, and I can't change my darn emoticon for some reason. It frustrates me. Oh, and I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. My kidneys hate me, and it seems like they've had enough. Hopefully they can give me something to clear up this whole pissing acid ordeal.

Okay.. I've lost the brain function to say much else XD

]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/11999853/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/11999853/ Wed, 28 Feb 2007 12:15:25 PST

From FWA:

Laiho 69 Badge: Inked. Needs Coloring -- Paid
Draken Byte Bade: Inked. Needs Coloring -- Paid
Lupine Silvertail Badge: Sketched.. might redo it. -- Paid



Online Commissions:

Kosice Large Image: Sketched. Needs Inking -- Payment Pending
Manami Large Image: Sketched. Needs Inking -- Paid
Larthan D Ref Sheet: Inked. Needs coloring -- Paid

]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/11967637/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/11967637/ Sun, 25 Feb 2007 21:39:00 PST _>

But yeah.. FWA was fun. I have 3 badges to finish. I just hope I can find the time. My boss called me while out of town stating it was urgent. I didn't get home till 9pm and called him 3 times, left a message.. and he never got back to me. That has me nervous, but there's no way I can come into work tomorrow if that's what he was looking for. I have a homework assignment that'll likely be kicking my ass all tomorrow before class. I didn't have time to do it today/sunday because I had to go out of town.. as previously stated. It was.. a hell of a day. Can't decide if it was good or bad.

Oh, I saw Mr. Obnoxious Man from FWA at Oxford's books and comics Donryu.. Donovan.. one of those names XD He really isn't that obnoxious.. he needs a new nickname. I'm starting to feel bad for calling him names ;_;

Back to FWA.. it was fun I got badges done by some AWESOME people... skulldog and.. green gryphon lady person... likeshine. Gawd. I'm lucky I can remember my -own- name, much less everyone elses. I plan on getting a hold of a few people for some commissions also, but I'm not going to get into all that until I get everything straightened out with school and the commissions I need to finish.

BLAAH, I feel terrible. I hope I feel better by tomorrow x_x

]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/11575333/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/11575333/ Fri, 26 Jan 2007 11:39:05 PST Disclaimer:: This is in now way, shape or form a trade or purchase of these items from individuals. If a person wishes to give me these items it will be for FREE and out of their own desires to give FREE stuff to some bum XD

What I DO Have::
Blue Flotsam Plushie
Blue Ixi Plushie
Blue Kacheek Plushie
Blue Shoyru Plushie
Christmas Kookith Plushie
Christmas Wocky Plushie
Cloud Ixi Plushie
Darigan Kougra Plushie
Dung Meepit Plushie
Fire Jetsam Plushie
Glow in the Dark Eyrie Plushie
Green Grundo Plushie
Green Kacheek Plushie
Green Koi Plushie
Green Scorchio Plushie
Green Uni Plushie
Green Zafara Plushie
Halloween Ixi Plushie
Halloween Kau Plushie
Ogrin Plushie
Plushie Zafara Plushie
Potgatkerchi Plushie
Purple Scorchio Plushie
Rainbow Aisha Plushie
Red Blumaroo Plushie
Red Korbat Plushie
Red Kougra Plushie
Red Kyrii Plushie
Red Shoyru Plushie
Reject Cybunny Toy
Repaired Meepit Plushie
Seasonal Attack Pea Plushie
Silver Chomby Plushie
Silver Jetsam Plushie
Silver Shoyru Plushie
Starry Lupe Plushie
Starry Hissi Plushie
Yellow Aisha Plushie
Yellow Gelert Plushie
Yellow Koi Plushie
Yellow Krawk Plushie
Yellow Moehog Plushie
Yellow Mynci Plushie
Yellow Nimmo Plushie
Yellow Uni Plushie
white elephante plushie

What I DO NOT Have
Christmas Uni Plushie
Deluxe Blue Uni Plushie
Purple Moehog Plushie
Darigan Moehog Plushie

Green Eyrie Plushie
Yellow Eyrie Plushie
Red Eyrie Plushie
Blue Eyrie Plushie

Balthazar Plushie
Yellow Blumaroo Plushie
Green Krawk Plushie
Rag Mynci Plushie
Ghost Hissi Plushie
Starry Gnorbu Plushie
Pink Ixi Plushie
Christmas Shoyru Plushie

Blue Scorchio Plushie
Yellow Scorchio Plushie
Red Scorchio Plushie

Red Chia Plushie
Blue Chia Plushie
Yellow Chia Plushie
Green Chia Plushie

Red Lupe Plushie
Blue Lupe Plushie
Green Lupe Plushie
Yellow Lupe Plushie
Cloud Lupe Plushie

Yellow Kougra Plushie
Blue Kougra Plushie
Purple Kougra Plushie
Green Kougra Plushie
Silver Kougra Plushie

Blue Acara Plushie
Red Acara Plushie
Green Acara Plushie
Yellow Acara Plushie

Blue Meerca Plushie
Red Meerca Plushie
Green Meerca Plushie
Yellow Meerca Plushie
Halloween Meerca Plushie

Blue Korbat Plushie
Yellow Korbat Plushie
Green Korbat Plushie

Red Pteri Plushie
Blue Pteri Plushie
Green Pteri Plushie
Yellow Pteri Plushie
Pink Pteri Plushie

]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/11552307/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/11552307/ Wed, 24 Jan 2007 11:24:03 PST
My kidneys hurt ;_; I keep trying to drink more water but I can't stop drinking Dr. Pepper. If people keep buying it, I keep suckin' it down. Gawd. -SMOKING- was easier to quit than Dr. Pepper.

]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/10802721/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/10802721/ Tue, 21 Nov 2006 17:05:07 PST
Anywho, just uploading a few things. I have so much artwork I need to catch up on it's not even funny x_x



Thanksgiving is soon, and I'm going to visit the family. I moved in early Summer and the family is obviously still not happy with me. My excuse was better schools and better jobs (which there is some truth in that) but mostly it was just to get away from that small town and all it's bullshit, and them. I have a lot of reasons, and I doubt you guys want to know all the nitty gritty about my personal life, so let's just say Thanksgiving is going to be.. interesting. As usual, Thomas (my boyfriend who I moved in with) is going to be my meat shield so they won't tear me apart like a pack of rabid wolves.

But hey, I'm willing to brave the pack for dressing, and collard greens So yeah.. wish me luck, guys XD

]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/10033343/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/10033343/ Sun, 10 Sep 2006 21:04:26 PDT

So, I'm opening up con badge commissions, on your typical little lineless card thingy, inked and colored in prismacolor markers and/or pencils.

Regular size Badge-- $8 (this includes cold press lamination and a little clippie thingie)

Large size Badge -- $12 (from the hip up or full body, drawn on cardstock and cut out to shape and laminated)


If I need to do special shipping not in an envelope, it will be added to the cost. I'd imagine they'd be fine in an envelope. I prefer paypal but snail mail is accepted also. I also do full size commissions, but you'll have to message me about those Feel free to contact me via message or AIM ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/9353080/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/9353080/ Wed, 12 Jul 2006 10:28:21 PDT
Yeah. I just need time, you guys. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/8343929/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/8343929/ Sun, 02 Apr 2006 13:34:52 PDT These prices do not include shipping and handling!! This will be added to the cost!! Also, I am not responsible for crappy shipping ^_^ after all, you get to choose what kind of shipping you want, since you're paying for it.

(One must tell me which resolutions they would like.)

Sketches: $15
Includes finished pencil sketch picture and a computer ink print, shipped in a stiff mailer.


CG Color: $25
Includes finished pencil sketch, a color print, and cd. Work on CD will include a sketch, an ink (computer inked), and a color.

Ask about multiple characters and backgrounds ^_^

BIG ASS DISCLAIMER!!!!11one!!1eleven!:::: Just to cover my tail about certain things.. prices do have the chance to vary from my current prices. Drawing a simple fox holding a coffee mug in a robe may be a nice, simple image, but if your character has like... 20 tails, very complex markings and very specific things about them that needs a lot of detail, it might end up costing more.. sometimes quite a bit more.

Also, my prices are indeed negotiable. I also do strictly digital works that I can send via email that you can print yourselves that will be much cheaper ^_^ If you have questions, honestly, just ask. I'm very flexible.


My Do's and Dont's of Artlyness
G to PG-13 = Great
R to Yiff = Good
Fetish Artwork = Just ask. I'm very open minded, and I can keep my mouth shut about people's business ^_^

I draw furres and quadrapeds. My humans are teh ick.

Contact Info!

AIM: Rpdeviant
Email: chakat_proudeyes@yahoo.com ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/7979476/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/7979476/ Thu, 23 Feb 2006 09:54:14 PST
Do you guys think my artwork is good enough to open commissions? If so, what should I charge? ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/6914201/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/6914201/ Mon, 31 Oct 2005 08:51:14 PST ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/4897643/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/4897643/ Thu, 24 Mar 2005 06:47:39 PST
On a happier note.. OMG LOOK AT ALL THIS STUFF I UPLOADED!!! Well, you all wanted to see more, so I gave you more Don't expect a splurge of art like again for quite a while. My brain is melted. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/4859883/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/4859883/ Sun, 20 Mar 2005 03:44:42 PST
Ah well, I'm gonna stare at the screen absently for a while.


*blank stare* ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/4306773/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/4306773/ Wed, 12 Jan 2005 22:37:58 PST
Contest Info! Whoo!

On other notes, I'm currently feeling swamped with things even though there's really nothing too serious for me to do. I want to draw so many things but I just... can't get it out there. Oh well. I'm gonna work on some of my Pern characters to give people references. Woot, well off I go to do just that... hopefully.


~~Nako. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3967399/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3967399/ Wed, 01 Dec 2004 19:29:18 PST
Ah well, life goes on....



As does my contest. Join it, people! Just look back on the nov. 14th entry, it'll tell you what you need to know about the contest. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3867618/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3867618/ Thu, 18 Nov 2004 22:26:58 PST 678 Pageviews for Nako!!!!
675 Pageviews for Karasu!


Yeah.. it'll prolly change tomorrow, but for now...


I'M VICTORIOUS!

NYAR HAR HAR HAR!!!


I luff you Karasu-koi :*> ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3861222/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3861222/ Wed, 17 Nov 2004 22:09:31 PST
Things are crazy. Got sick, but I don't wanna be sick. I wanna be able to be well enough to run around and hit people with foam covered pipes and all that crazy stuff that comes with LARPing.

Some shaky times in my lovelife. It's not like dangerous 'I'm not gonna talk to you anymore' kinda shaky, it's just some insecurities that I'll have to get over. Have you ever just loved someone so much that you go beyond your own logic and make yourself look like a complete hypocrite? Yeah. I almost wish I could let go just to prove to myself that I can... but it's hard. Sure, I can put on a happy face, act like it doesn't bother me... but ever since that dream, that remembrance of that horrible pain. I died on the inside, and it was just a nightmare. I don't want to die again.

A lab monkey presses a button. They get shot with about 50,000 volts of electricity. That monkey won't wanna touch that button again. I got zapped in that dream, I don't wanna lose him, and feel that horrible pain again. Wow... I've told him that he could live without me.


..... Can I live without him?




On a less depressing note... everyone check out my Contest! ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3850402/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3850402/ Tue, 16 Nov 2004 14:52:05 PST
Poetry, stories, and the like can be written about my characters. If you want to throw Nako in a fantasy midieval setting, then sure. If you wanna write about Nako in a poem, cool. This will have it's own 1st, 2nd and 3rd place, same prizes as the art contest (see previous Journal)

Kagemiyakarasu has been banned from the contest because if he joined I would have to put him in 1st place because he's my snugglebunny and that wouldn't be fair to everyone else ^_^;

He gets enough of my drawings anyways. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3834459/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3834459/ Sun, 14 Nov 2004 15:35:49 PST Just tell me what you want drawn and if it's within my power, I'll do it. Okay, here's what you can do:

Draw any of my Pernese characters or dragons (if you know what Pern is) send me a note if you want to do this one and I'll send a list of my characters.


Or draw my feline anthro character, Nako. She's in my deviantart somewhere. She's the orangy haired one with white fur and black markings ^_^


I will have 1st, 2nd and 3rd place prizes.

1st prize will be a full body drawing, colored, possibly spiffed up on a computer program. Basically, I'll do my very best on it.

2nd: This really depends on the complexity of what you want. No color. Could be full body or not depending on what it is.

3rd. Possible lineart or sketch.

Here's where the cool part comes in! If you can entrust me not to be some crazy psycho, I'll send you your picture to you through the mail! yay! Time to go buy postage stamps! It depends on where you live, and if it costs a heck of a lot more to go overseas. X_x please be gentle!

They will be graded basically on a bunch of things, but basically it's just my personal preference on how much I like them. o.O I don't know many people, and I suspect this contest to flop, but it would be really cool to get some people interested

The deadline is not yet set, but I hope this won't take longer than a month.

Edit::: Poetry, stories, and the like can be written about my characters. If you want to throw Nako in a fantasy midieval setting, then sure. If you wanna write about Nako in a poem, cool. This will have it's own 1st, 2nd and 3rd place, same prizes as the art contest

Kagemiyakarasu has been banned from the contest because if he joined I would have to put him in 1st place because he gets enough of my drawings anyways.

Edit, January 12...I think. o.O :: Yesh, the contest is still up, and will be up indefinitely until I get people to actually participate ^_^ ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3777112/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3777112/ Sun, 07 Nov 2004 14:11:11 PST
That, and I have some pictures I must draw. I ned to draw something for Azarath's contest, a pic of a wolfy dude for some person I met on neopets, and a whole plethora of half-finished scribbles that hold the potential to turn into something somewhat spiffy.

I need a scanner. That would make everything cool. o.O ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3643182/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3643182/ Thu, 21 Oct 2004 14:57:15 PDT
Oh.. I don't think I mentioned that before, but yeah ^_^ I'm working on a costume for it. It looks kinda crappy as of now, but it's been fun to make and hopefully I'll have it done by saturday. It's gonna be fun, I can't wait.

Hm.. and now time to bring out the notebook of greatness to leave yet another message that no one but a few select people can read ^_^

Nahkorru rapterr bhen maylenee bhan Kahrraseu-seuhtah? Forsakai bhen heki heki-h ent mehm ^_^ *nosebleed*



About letting people go.....

It's hard, by he Moons, I know it is. All I have to say, is learn to live without him. I'm not saying that you won't have to.. maybe one day it'll work out or something... maybe. The thing is that we have to learn that we don't need a person in our lives to be happy. Only when you find yourself can you be happy with others. Confidence, self-respect, and self-esteem are things that are vital to make a well-rounded person, therefore someone nice to be around in both friendships and relationships because they have learned to let go of all the baggage.
Yes, there are people that would still want to be with you, but you don't want them to be with you because they *need* someone with low confidence and self esteem so that you will be clingy and make them feel special. That means that they have issues of their own. You also don't want someone dating you because they want to make you feel better and heal your wounds. Only you can mend the gashes of your own hurt, and only then can you look to others with a strong and open mind and be truly happy. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3643174/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3643174/ Thu, 21 Oct 2004 14:56:43 PDT
Oh.. I don't think I mentioned that before, but yeah ^_^ I'm working on a costume for it. It looks kinda crappy as of now, but it's been fun to make and hopefully I'll have it done by saturday. It's gonna be fun, I can't wait.

Hm.. and now time to bring out the notebook of greatness to leave yet another message that no one but a few select people can read ^_^

Nahkorru rapterr bhen maylenee bhan Kahrraseu-seuhtah? Forsakai bhen heki heki-h ent mehm ^_^ *nosebleed*



About letting people go.....

It's hard, by he Moons, I know it is. All I have to say, is learn to live without him. I'm not saying that you won't have to.. maybe one day it'll work out or something... maybe. The thing is that we have to learn that we don't need a person in our lives to be happy. Only when you find yourself can you be happy with others. Confidence, self-respect, and self-esteem are things that are vital to make a well-rounded person, therefore someone nice to be around in both friendships and relationships because they have learned to let go of all the baggage.
Yes, there are people that would still want to be with you, but you don't want them to be with you because they *need* someone with low confidence and self esteem so that you will be clingy and make them feel special. That means that they have issues of their own. You also don't want someone dating you because they want to make you feel better and heal your wounds. Only you can mend the gashes of your own hurt, and only then can you look to others with a strong and open mind and be truly happy. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3629535/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3629535/ Tue, 19 Oct 2004 18:48:39 PDT


On another note, I'll talk about my current feelings in a vague, confusing manner that is responding to happenings in my life that won't be fully addressed.

Well Karasu-koi, I suppose you know who your real friends are now? Honestly.. why would someone turn their back on you because you want to love and be loved? Oh well, there is no joy in being protected by a psycho.

Euhken ahrre khrahnum, mehn mehllder, mehn seuhtah, mehn maylai. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3598164/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3598164/ Fri, 15 Oct 2004 17:41:16 PDT
That also means that I can't do any more art. I can't work on something for 2+ hours on PSP when I have to hold down the ctrl, alt, delete thing for 30 seconds to a minute for it to work again.

Blame it on my brother, and for those that have my number, please call me. I'm almost always at home, and now that I prolly won't have a computer for another month or so I'll have even less to do until I get some sort of social life.

Peace, and don't have too much fun without me.


~Nako ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3574757/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3574757/ Tue, 12 Oct 2004 16:18:56 PDT
Ah well, Now I can't hide by saying I don't have Photoshop, because I do now. YAY! The only bad thing is that it's one that I'm not used to and it's gonna take some time to learn what it's all about. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3560725/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3560725/ Sun, 10 Oct 2004 21:08:18 PDT
You don't have to want to spend every second of every day with a person to prove you love them.

Just because you don't date a person because you can't see them often doesn't mean you don' t love them

Just because you want to see other people because you are 18 fucking years old and wanna enjoy going out on dates with people before settling down in a lasting relationship doesn't mean you don't love them.

Just because I don't pity and croon over him because he's had a bad past doesn't mean I don't love him.

Just because I tell him he can get over his pain and not dwell on it doesn't mean I don't love him.

Just because I tell him he can live without me, doesn't mean I don't love him.

Just because I want him to focus on building himself up, making good grades in school, and learn NOT to use me for a crutch or a lifeline, doesn't mean I don't love him.


If we both had secure lives, with transportation and able to support ourselves, I'd fucking marry him.


I love him. Fuck you guys who don't believe me.


Sincerely,

Your-in-fucking-love neko-jin, Nako. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3550687/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/3550687/ Sat, 09 Oct 2004 14:53:31 PDT
Well, life goes on and things happen. Broke up with Karasu because I wanted to be free to date and go out with people and have fun without feeling guilty. Well, I haven't given a glance to anyone at all. Heh, sometimes even *I* wonder why I broke up with him at all.

Then I realize that it was because I have things I need to work out, and he has things that he needs to work out. Well, with neither of us able to drive, and with him not even having his learner's license, it's a really pathetic situation. Maybe later on when we've both got transportation and a stable way of seeing each other, it can work out.

Dunno, it's quite demoralizing when you aren't able to have any special time with your sweetheart. All lovey-dovey make-out sessions end up taking place in rather pathetic, yet cliche, places. (i.e. Walmart parking lots in the back seat of -someone elses- car, lakes, corn fields..) Yeah, I'm pathetic. Then again, I don't really give a shit any more. Call me a whore? Why don't you go bash on someone else's head, like a certain someone who blows her boyfriend off in the bathroom just to get him away from his friends, who are waiting upstairs wondering where the fuck the two of em went. At least I have 'some' pride.


Sincerely,

your angsty-for-some-random-reason Nako-chan ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2711581/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2711581/ Mon, 21 Jun 2004 11:45:26 PDT
Oh well, once we get a new monitor and make sure the motherboard on the computer isn't fried, I think it'll all be spiffy, and I'll be able to upload things once again.

eeeh... this medication makes me feel funny....

later guys,

Nako ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2600813/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2600813/ Sun, 06 Jun 2004 22:50:43 PDT
I'm now plotting, trying to figure out how I'm going to draw Karasu's character for the LARP. He'll most likely look like his kitty form, but we are gonna have some fun and put random stripes on him. *evil grin*

Candy canes....

WHAT! I'm gonna put rings on his tail, you perv. *shifty glance*

Hehe, well, I'm off to go draw.. or stare at a wall, or something.

CHEEZ!, and much lurves for Karasu-koi


Nako ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2592128/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2592128/ Sat, 05 Jun 2004 20:02:33 PDT heki heki nagara mehrr.

Well, anyways, the spiffy thing is that Karasu got to come with me ^_^ woot woot. I got to run around and cast healing spells. Twas fun, but I'm thinking of creating a bard character so I can go around and make people dance. o.o Yeah, I wanna be a bard. That would be spiffy. I'm really excited about this LARP. I'm gonna be a kitty girl (species called feralyn, I think) and I'm gonna be dressed all spiffy, either like a gypsy or in some other cool looking dress. I dunno, I wanna be as scantly clad as possible. (Gah, pervert, not because I wanna look like a whore, it's because it's friggin HOT OUTSIDE! I thought I was gonna die out there today x_x )
Of course, no matter how hot it gets, I wanna have a spiffy cloak. ^_^ spiffeh!

Okay, onto different things. It was lots of fun, even though I think Karasu was too busy worrying about being found out by his cousins. (he wasn't supposed to go anywhere other than Harrison's house) but it was all spiffy because he didn't get caught. Near time to go he twisted his ankle though. Aiyah, clumsy baka!

Ouchie!!! Chest pain... X_x *throb* *throb* *throb* X_o ah well it's not too bad. I've learned to ignore it.

Well anyways, we left about 8 something or other, and we stayed at Harrison's house a while. Jackson, my friend who drove us around, was enough of a sweetie to be bored a while. Well, I snuggled with Karasu a while, painted a woogle ( I think that's what it's called) on some weird game for gamecube, and then stuff sorta fell apart.

Karasu got all angsty and depressed, I wanted to know what was wrong and he seemed unable to tell me. He does this a lot, and it kills me every time he does it. I want to help him, but sometimes I feel that he just won't let me. I was beginning to get angry, thinking this is just his way of getting attention. It better not be that. I'd be horribly angry if it were. Well, needless to say I had to be direct with him. I told him I knew that he knew what was wrong, and that he needed to tell me. I basically wanted to get the point across that I was tired of feeling so helpless.

Well, he told me, and it was basically what I figured it was.

He's afraid I'll leave him, probably because I've lost interest in so many guys before. In a way I can't blame him; most of the guys I've dated recently have been clenching their ass cheeks about it. Well, there's a major difference between them and him though. When I dated the others, I did so because I just wanted to date someone. I wanted to feel loved, appreciated, and all that jazz. Well, Karasu comes along, and everything changes.

I've always liked the boy, loved him for the longest time, but in truth I didn't think he had the same feelings back. In fact the only reason I was able to get it out of him was because I was blind drunk and asking him all sorts of crazy questions. I never thought I'd say this, but YAY FOR ALCOHOL! well, as long as it's not in excess, anyways. Well, once I was able to humiliate myself over the phone while drunk, why the hell can't I when I'm over the internet? Well, I asked questions, probed into his personal life, got him to open up a little, I suppose. Even then though, I didn't know exactly how he felt. I continued feeling in the dark. Maybe he just found me attractive, like many other guys did; just another random female friend to jack off to occassionally. Even while I had this feeling of doubt, I couldn't stop myself. I was being pulled in and there was already no turning back. My relationship with Shawn had *been* old, running of fumes in the tank and sheer boredom. I don't know why I stayed with him so long. I suppose I was just afraid of being alone. Well, I couldn't stand it anymore, and I finally broke up with him. I admit, even when I broke up with shawn, I had serious doubts that Karasu's interest would play through. Still, I threw myself out there. I knew I would get hurt if it didn't come through, but I didn't care anymore. Karasu was more than worth the risk of the pain I could possibly have to endure.

By the Moons, I loved him so much! I was the first one to say it, mind you. I have NEVER been the first one to say it. EVER. Of course, I couldn't help myself. I was in his spell and there would never ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2577006/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2577006/ Thu, 03 Jun 2004 19:17:52 PDT
I came in at 2 in the morning and got bitched at, but it was oh-so worth it. Well, being grounded forever isn't, but she can't keep me grounded for more than a month and a day, because I'll then be 18 and if she gives me a lot of shit, I'll just up and leave.

The only thing I regret is that Karasu is in trouble. I tried to call, and I spent about 10 seconds on the phone before I heard his cousin bitching in the background, and he had to go. I feel really bad about that. I hate to see him hurting.

*sigh* This is when that loves so much it hurts sort of thing falls into place. Aii... he hurts, I hurt.

*winces* I hope that is my own chest pains and not his. Aii.... I love him. *sigh*

Signing out,

Nako. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2553284/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2553284/ Mon, 31 May 2004 20:08:45 PDT
I spent most of the day with him today. It had to be the number 1, spiffiest day of my life. I spent most of the day playing the SIMS on the PS2 with Karasu watching and taking over the controller every now and then (I don't like 2 player so we just share one player) so basically we spent from noon to 5:30 popping kids out like it's the 50's and seeing what sort of strange things came of them. One of the kids had freaky rock band makeup that made him look like something out of kiss. Our first son, the most normal one, ended up skipping school and going to military camp.

Well, other than raising crazy mental children, the day was absolutely… PERFECT Gosh, the details.. I don’t really want to get into them all, but it was all wonderfully great (not that the details are bad, I’m just incredibly lazy )).

I love it when Karasu kisses me. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world. He’s very… I don’t know how to explain it. He’s a very strong kisser, very assertive and aggressive, but he doesn’t hurt me. Of course, when he finally pulls away, I feel like he has just taken my breath away or something, and it feels like the air is much lighter and thinner around me and easier to take in. It’s as if he takes some of my pain away, some of the burden so I can breathe easier.

We also rolled around a bit on the floor. Ya know, when Karasu-koi is being tickled, his Japanese sounds much more authentic. When he’s being tickled, his voice does this strange thing where it either goes very low or high. It’s so cute. Ai… kawaii…. ^^ *blushes*

Oh, but one of the best things was when we just lay there in each others arms on the couch. It all felt just so.. perfect. Nothing in the world could have ruined that moment. The moment was perfect, he was perfect, EVERYTHING was just absolutely, positively perfect. *croons and purrs* The only thing I would have changed would be that we had been alone. It's horribly annoying with family figures looming around and ruining the lovey-dovey moment. Oh well, it really didn't matter that much. It was still as perfect as perfect can get.

Aii.. I love him. *blush*


Nako ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2533914/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2533914/ Sat, 29 May 2004 06:46:02 PDT
Oh, the hole gets deeper for them. Our principal made the workers at the school work on his yard using school money. When the workers went to the school board about it, they were fired. I hate corruption in the school. It's just like the government. If you don't jump through their hoops you are as good as homeless and bankrupt... without an education *grumble*

oh well... on a happier note, Karasu finally asked me out. He did that thursday. *sigh* I fell asleep yesterday and I think he was wanting to call me. The poor dear, I wish mom would just wake me up when I have a phone call. I slept from around 6 pm to 8 am. eee... lots of sleep. er... 14 hours or something like that? I'm still too sleepy to count right so forgive me *thinks about taking another nap*

*yawn* later

Nako-baka ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2517152/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2517152/ Wed, 26 May 2004 21:22:52 PDT
Ai... He says he loves me. I can't help but believe him. I don't have the strength not to.

I dunno, I've never loved like this before. It's so intense and so deep, runs straight through my very core. I can't deny it, I can't turn away from it. I am trapped in it, and I don't care. In fact, I think I like it. It's scary, to say the least. I'm so used to having my guard up, constantly paranoid that they were going to hurt me. By the Moons, I just feel like I can't pull away from it any more! It's like he's put a spell on me, pulling me in and making it so I can't fight back. I couldn't pull away even if I wanted to. Gah.. NAGARA! I'm setting myself up to get so very badly hurt. He could crush me so easily...

Oh well, don't worry. I have already come to the conclusion that I won't suicide if he completely shuns me.

*sigh* He's even hinted that he might want to marry me someday. He can tell me that, but he can't make anything official and ask me to at least date him??? What is going on?? X_x I'm painfully traditional; I don't ask boys out, they ask me out, and I told him if our relationship goes any further, he would have to find some balls and ask me if I wish to make if official and 'go out'

Well, we'll see what happens tomorrow *g*



Later guys,

Nako ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2492813/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2492813/ Sun, 23 May 2004 18:48:50 PDT
Oh well, I can't be angry at him. He probably has a reason that I could very much respect. Either that, or the mother-figure isn't catching beeps. Oh well. I'm tired and somewhat burnt out. I'd write some long heartfelt thing about Karasu, but something came up that has made me horribly pissed off, so all I can really do is sit here and be depressed.

*sigh* I miss Karasu-koi.



Nako. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2480457/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2480457/ Fri, 21 May 2004 22:35:32 PDT
Well, I went to a football game. That was fun. I got to go with my cute little Karasu-koi. Weee... kissies for Nako-baka X_x Ee.... he's such a self concious creature, it's cute of course, he's having trouble realizing that I think he's absolutely perfect in every way. That's really saying something, because I'm a pessimistic bitch that can always find some flaw that completely annoys me about the person, usually a physical flaw... kinda low seeming, I know, but I dunno, maybe it's just because I didn't care for them. I mean, the guy can be gorgeous and there will be a single miniscule thing that bothers me about them.

Of course, Karasu is just perfect.

and I don't care what he says, because he is and he'll just have to get used to it. >_> Aiii... he just makes me feel so.. gosh I can't even explain it. Aiyah, so nervous, so nervous! Can't wait to see him again, can't wait to see those eyes, hear that laugh, feel those hugs.. Neeeeyaga... Nako-baka is in love.

Wow.. such a crazy, overwhelming feeling!

Gah, but right now I'm tired and I can hardly think straight so I'll end it here.

Ahhen maylen yehn, mehn seuhtah, Karasu.

Brandy "Nako" Morgan ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2464283/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2464283/ Wed, 19 May 2004 16:56:43 PDT
I got upset, and when I get really upset, it's like my throat closes up and it's hard to breathe and I start wheezing. Asthma? *blink*

I dunno. It's crazy. My breathing finally cleared up a little, but I seriously think something is wrong with me. It had seemed to have gotten better, and after school, I was all excited because I could see Karasu-koi, but obviously I got too excited and happy and was completely out of breath and had to catch my breath because I couldn't talk any more. I dunno, I usually don't tire so easily. Maybe I just need to get excersize, eat right, etc etc.

Well, right now I would wish to be numb except for one thing. I don't want the spiffy lurv-ish-ness to go numb with everything else. *sigh* oh well.

I'm out.

Nako ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2458310/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2458310/ Tue, 18 May 2004 19:18:52 PDT
Lets see.... I owe a few people drawings...

kuraofsavernia... I owe a realistic leotauress...

Karasu.. I just owe him drawings because he is godly..

Xanthin.. I have to draw sparrow for them.. grr.. this one is going to be difficult.

Gah, Karasu-kun is almost more trouble than he's worth. *giggle* basically all the people from our little close-knit group of 'friends' is going back and blabbing to my ex-boyfriend about Karasu and I making out.. WHICH WE WEREN'T! -_- geh.... I swear, people assume the craziest things when one's face is only a few inches from the other person's face. *shifty glance* I'm not too worried about it though. Shawn (the ex) got all pissy but I basically ignored him because he has been making me angry with his pissy attitude for a week now.

Oh well. I get to like who I like.. right?


weee.. some interesting stuff... usually when I fall in love with someone I invision a butterfly that represents my affection for that person. The butterfly strangely looks like a plushie now. o.O funny, ne?

Ah well, I'm hungry and the ramen noodles are calling my name...

Nako ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2436367/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/2436367/ Sat, 15 May 2004 19:08:44 PDT
Hrm hrm.. well life has been crazy. Love is really kinda tossing me around in this big melodramatic thing.. Damnit, right when I think I've had a basically drama-less highschool experience, it all hits me my senior year. Well, basically I broke up with Shawn, and I'm now just kinda riding an emotional roller coaster. Yeah.. I'm feeling that crazy-go-nuts kinda lurv-ishness again. I just hope this time it doesn't hurt me.

Well, I'm not gonna go into much detail, and I've got rping to do, things to draw, etc.


Nako ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/1287065/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/1287065/ Thu, 16 Oct 2003 23:49:55 PDT
http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/1273823/ Mon, 13 Oct 2003 20:48:58 PDT
I dunno, I seriously need to get over this. I'm in love, bad, horribly so. It's not meant to be. I can't tear myself apart loving someone who doesn't love me. I've went through this before, but why does it hurt so much more this time around?

Pain.. kill me please...

I hurt... I wanna die

but then I wanna live, I wanna get over it but I can't. Should I just break off all connections with this guy, or should I sit around, torturing myself and keep hoping? I don't know any more. Sometimes it seems he might actually like me, but then again not. I hate him. He's an arrogant bastard that needs to die but I love him to death. College has changed him I think. What happened to my little sweetie from six flags? He's become sarcastic, or is this just a reflection of how I act? Yes, I act the same way around a guy that likes me but I don't like him. Ouch.

Revelation. Maybe it's fate? Maybe this guy that loves me is the one I need to love? It would make things a hell of a lot easier. Or maybe I should find someone else entirely?

What do you all think? ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/1273749/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/1273749/ Mon, 13 Oct 2003 20:29:35 PDT
food: Ramen noodles and vitamin suppliments

bleh.. don't feel good. I put up a poem today, and that's about it. I don't have energy to do anything else. I think it's from the lack of nutrition, hence the need for vitamin pills. I realized yesterday that ramen noodles have very little nutritional value. Fuck.

Oh well, later guys.

Peace,
Nako. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/1248259/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/1248259/ Tue, 07 Oct 2003 18:34:49 PDT
He's driving me crazy. The funny thing is that there isn't just one. I have one guy who says he loves me, and this has been going on since last year. He's my friend, but I'm beginning to hate him and detest his very presence because I can feel and see the lust in him. He might love me but the want that is strong inside him makes me want to throw up. I won't let him have my heart, my butterfly

Another one. He needs someone to be there for him because he's had a hard life. His mom and dad died leaving him to live with dumbass cousins. He had a girlfriend that made him miserable, and I reach my arm out to be his friend, but I sense there is something more. I just hope it's a crush that will go away, because no matter how much I wish to heal his wounds, I cannot give him my soul, my butterfly.

Then there is her. She wants me more than the rest, lusts for me so badly I get sick when she is around. She hurts me, not necessarily physically but there is a pain she puts inside me that sears so deeply it leaves me... numb. She'll never have my butterfly

Then there is one more. Friend. The word echoes in my mind and throws back everything I have said to my current stalkers with a force that could only knock me further down the deep mindless chasms of the numbness that I cannot rid myself of. I gave my butterfly to him already. He has my heart and my soul in the palm of his hands whether he wants it or not. Shall I be angry that he won't have me and run away from the pain? No, because the slight singe of the hearth is far sweeter than the numbing death of the snow outside.

With love comes hate, with joy come sorrow. It's an intricate see-saw of emotions balancing upon one's shoulders, trying to stay at an equilibrium so one can walk across the tight rope of life without falling. Then again, wouldn't this equilibrium cause melancholy? Such blandness surely can't be right! Frikk that! Let us scrape off the hate and sorrow and go ahead and fall, for a short scary fall full of happiness is surely worth the fall. Who knows, maybe a safety net will be there to catch me. I suppose that is the risk we call life. No matter which path you take, whether it be the cautious balanced walk to the other side to get down to the ground, or leap down unburdened and hope someone is there to catch you when you fall, you will get to the ground somehow, right?

Well, I suppose this is enough philisophical and hypothetical rambling for today. Peace out. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/1203775/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/1203775/ Thu, 25 Sep 2003 19:06:14 PDT
I missed him five minutes after saying I didn't want to be with him any more. I started listening to some country music for the first time in about a year and it just got me all emotional I guess. Damnit, I love country! *angsts and reaches out desperately for Linkin Park cd*

So many people love me, why the hell do I have to fall in love with someone who I think doesn't love me back? He cares, he says. But he has my butterfly, my heart and soul. Dammit dammit dammit! >_< *angst angst angst*

*cries* DAMN YOU STUPID COUNTRY SONGS... I love em.

Okay I'll end this now. ]]> ~Nako http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/1200920/ http://Nako.deviantart.com/journal/1200920/ Wed, 24 Sep 2003 22:08:28 PDT ~Nako