deviantART: by:Neverdiex http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Neverdiex&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Neverdiex en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 26 Nov 2009 00:07:57 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png FREAK OUT! http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/26737511/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/26737511/ Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:41:37 PDT
:: Freakin' Out~! ::
I'm close to graduating and I need an internship.

To be honest, I'm absolutely freaking out. My ulcer has gotten seriously upset, and I freeze and panic when I talk to a possible internshiper employer (if that's a word...). I have no confidence and hardly any self-esteem. The idea of ME doing a website for someone else just strikes fear into my heart and I panic. In fact, the only thing that is driving me is my fear of failing. The idea that I've spent so many years, money, time, effort, and materials and to have it all go to waste...I feel like I'm destined to fail; that I was only allowed to dream, not act upon it!
I'm not ready! I don't know what I'm doing!!

But designing websites isn't really my dream...yet it's become this weird obsession. I WANT to learn more, I WANT to design, create and code websites--but quite frankly, I suck at it. I've gotten better (a ton better!) from when I first started school, but I don't think I'm ready to be "released" from school.

My passion is Character Design and Storyboard Development. But, ...that's a dream.

Oh...and that meme thing is included and updated, if anyone cares about it anymore...


::Featured Art::
1. Aiden and Oreb -:iconsyracourage: *posted... :heart:
2.Bolt -:iconjohn2p0: *posted... :heart:
3.Lady D -:iconladyd666: *posted... :heart:
4.Manji and Rin from Blade of the Immortal -:iconartivous13: *sketched
5.Ikki Minami and Akito from air gear -:iconhananounmei: *posted... :heart:
6. Heroic Moose -:iconheroic-moose: *posted.... :heart:
7. Sephiroth -:iconmanenames: *posted... :heart:
8. Pocky Person -:iconddestind9: *posted... :heart:
9. Joker -the Dark Knight -:iconcainslove: *posted... :heart:
10. Black Sheep -:iconbjizzle85: *posted... :heart:
11. OC Character Sheet -:iconaeslehclive: *posted... :heart:
12. SyraCourage's Alter Ego -http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/25610586/ Thu, 09 Jul 2009 05:50:36 PDT
My Profile
My Gallery
Watch Me
Note Me



I've been working on the drawings; most are sketched, but there's a few left to work on. There's some other projects I've been meaning to work on, but with all the drama going on in my life right now, those personal projects have been pushed aside. I'm hoping with this last week I can get a ton of it done.

1. Aiden and Oreb -:iconsyracourage: *posted... :heart:

2.Bolt -:iconjohn2p0: *posted... :heart:

3.Lady D -:iconladyd666: *posted... :heart:

4.Manji and Rin from Blade of the Immortal -:iconartivous13: *sketched

5.Ikki Minami and Akito from air gear -:iconhananounmei: *needs to be scanned...

6. Heroic Moose -:iconheroic-moose: *posted.... :heart:

7. Sephiroth -:iconmanenames: *sketched

8. Pocky Person -:iconddestind9: *inking

9. Joker -the Dark Knight -:iconcainslove: *sketched

10. Black Sheep -:iconbjizzle85: *needs to be scanned...

11. OC Character Sheet -:iconaeslehclive: *sketching...

12. SyraCourage's Alter Ego -:iconsyracourage: *inking





People I Know:
:iconjackspicerx: :iconsyracourage: :icon10000nails: :iconmichelle84: :iconivanushka: :iconcainslove: http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/24966613/ Tue, 09 Jun 2009 18:09:18 PDT
:: Drawing Meme ::

:iconxenothrope: started this, but I want to do this too! I feel stagnant in my ideals, so I want a fresh look. I want YOU to give me an idea, a character or something. It can be a copyrighted character, or your original character (please give me references). All I ask, please no complex backgrounds. Oh, and I refuse to draw porn. I can refuse to draw your suggestions at my will.

Likely, they will be rough sketches, perhaps inked. I've been dying to color on the computer, but something hates me and I haven't had the chance lately... =(

(PS...My featured art listed in my gallery is art that people have drawn me or photographs of me, so if you're not listed; please let me know!)

Sooooooo....GO!

*UPDATE*
The ones with a heart next to it are COMPLETED!! They have been scanned and will be posted! :w00t:

Sadly, I'm at the end of my sketchbook, so the last one in that one will be Aiden and Oreb (I know, I totally went out of order...); but I have a couple of blank sketchbooks waiting at home! I'm really excited about this, and it's really fun. Thank you everyone!! I hope I make you PROUD!

1. Aiden and Oreb -:iconsyracourage: *inking

2.Bolt -:iconjohn2p0: *posting... :heart:

3.Lady D -:iconladyd666: *posting... :heart:

4.Manji and Rin from Blade of the Immortal -:iconartivous13: *resources printed

5.Ikki Minami and Akito from air gear -:iconhananounmei: *resources printed

6. Heroic Moose -:iconheroic-moose: *posting.... :heart:

7. Sephiroth -:iconmanenames: *resources printed

8. Pocky Person -:iconddestind9: *resources printed

9. Jester -:iconcainslove: *resources printed

10. Black Sheep -:iconbjizzle85: *resources printed

11. OC Character Sheet -:iconaeslehclive: *resources printed

12. SyraCourage's Alter Ego -:iconsyracourage: *resources printed




::Featured Art::
1::iconladyd666:
*Neverdiex OC Meme http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/24808150/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/24808150/ Sun, 17 May 2009 15:51:33 PDT
:: OC Meme ::
stolen >_> I need to do homework, but I'm finding things to do to avoid doing homework. Onwards!


Who is...

1. Your loudest character?
Probably Akira, she's temperamental and doesn't think about her actions.

2. Your shyest?
Trina, she gets easily embarassed. ^^:

3. Your angriest?
Kira. Without a doubt, Kira.

4. Your horniest?
Tobias. :XD:

5. Your poorest?
Um, the Xans. :D I know, its a group of people...but I guess out of all of them, it would have to be Henjia.

6. Your richest?
Lanardo. In comparasion to the others, afterall, someone in his position, money is no problem.

7. Your craziest?
Sphinx, a creature that must wear a necklace to be contained and manageable. Unfortunately, he knows how to remove this product.

8. Your weirdest?
Jinx Ki Han. Viruses are fun, and he didn't realize he had wings until he was thrown off of a cliff. He became attached to a dark naga that despised him (at first). There's lots of stories.

Who was...

1. Your first character?
I suppose...Tamacho. :heart: :heart:

2. Your most recent character?
...Tachi....OMG, it's been that long since I've created a character?!

List three of your characters, and three traits they each possess.

1.Tobias.
Misunderstood.
Offensive.
Charming.

2.Lenjia.
Seductive.
Wise.
Flying.

3. Tamacho
Understanding.
Cute.
Naive.

Out of all your characters, who are you most like?
I suppose Jean, my id. But since she's a direct representative of me, the runner up is Tamacho. :D

Do any of your characters have pairings? If so, then list a song for three pairings that fits.

1.Kira & Sirris
Journey "Open Arms"

2. Trina & Nagra
Incubus "Love is a Verb" (they have like, over 15 kids!)

3. Kieran & Patience
Sailor Moon "Rainy Day Men"




::Featured Art::
1::iconladyd666:


:iconhananounmei:


:iconheroic-moose:


:iconkakashi1031:
*Neverdiex Tagged http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/24412215/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/24412215/ Fri, 24 Apr 2009 14:36:13 PDT
::I Got Tagged::
by :iconkiareri:

Name:: Kelli
Birthday: 02/21/1985
Birth Place:: Orlando, FL
Current Location:: Indianapolis, IN
Eye Color:: Green, sometimes blueish
Hair Color: Frizzy blond
Height: 5'3.5"
Weight: 117lbs this morning
Piercing: Just my ears
Tattoos: Nope, I've got alot of scars though
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: :iconjackspicerx:
Overused Phrase: Patack

FAVORITES
Foods: Rice
Candy: used to be gummy :(
Number: 8
Color: Purple!
Animal: Tigers (especially the Caspian Tiger)
Drink: Sweet Tea
Alcohol: None
Bagel: Um, Cinnamon
letter: K
Body Part on Opposite sex: Back/Torso
Pepsi or Coke: Coca-Cola
McDonalds or BurgerKing: McDonalds
Strawberry or Watermelon: Strawberry (Berry berry this and berry berry that!)
Hot tea or Ice tea: Iced Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate :XD:
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: Hot Chocolate
Kiss or Hug: HUGS! I love hugs! :hug:
Dog or Cat: KITTY!
Rap or Punk: Punk
Summer or Winter: Summer!
Movies or Funny Movies: Er animated
Love or Money: Love
bedtime: I like bedtime
Most Missed Memory: Mom
Best physical feature: My hair
First Thought Waking Up: SLeeeeeeeEP
Goal for this year: Finishing my website
Best Friend(s): Lots
Weakness: too sensitive
Fears: Won't say
Heritage: At this point, I'm not sure if I care.
Longest relationship: Almost 3 years this May 21st!! :heart:

HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank: Once/Twiceish. Don't remember much...
Ever Smoked: Nope.
Pot: No.
Ever been Drunk: Er, yeah.
Ever been beaten up: Yeah.
Ever beaten someone up: Yeah
Ever Shoplifted: Ummmmmm....don't think so.
Ever Skinny Dipped: Nope.
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: Yep
Been Dumped Lately: Nah.

IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color: Brown ^_~
Favorite Hair Color: Black
Short or Long: long
Height: Taller than me, which isn't hard. :XD:
Style: I have none.
Looks or Personality: Personality.
Hot or Cute: Both
Drugs and Alcohol: No way.
Muscular or Really Skinny: Doesn't matter.
Who is the Guy or Girl you wish you were with Right Now? :iconjackspicerx:

RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past: At least 2.
What country/world do you want to Visit: Japan, London, Eygpt, Madagascar....
How do you want to Die: Not by someone else's hands.
Been to the Mall Lately: Nah.
Do you like Thunderstorms: YES!
Get along with your Parents: Nope.
Health Freak: LOL, no.
Do you think you're Attractive: Hell no.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Want to go to College: ....I sure hope so, I've been in college for 3 years now.
Do you Smoke: Wasn't this JUST asked?
Do you Drink: You have a worst short-term memory than me.
Shower Daily: Yeah!
Been in Love: Yuppers.
Do you Sing: Yes, but I can't sing "good". Simon would hate me.
Want to get Married: Yes.....
Do you want Children: No, but if I do, I want twin boys. NO GIRLS.
Have your future kids names planned out?: Yes, Tamacho and Lanardo. ^^;
Hate someone: Hate is a strong word...
If you're in Love, who is it? Again... :iconjackspicerx:

I'm TAGGING...
:iconjackspicerx: http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/24258959/ Wed, 15 Apr 2009 15:17:09 PDT
:: ^_^ ::
To begin, I really want to thank everyone for all the help, support, comfort and love in that last angsty entry of mine. I really appreciate it :heart: (sorry, I'm so terrible at using words to express how I feel...)

Also, I started to practice the techniques that Kiareri and Artivous showed me.

Started to...a couple of my best friends are moving away, and I've neglected them all this time...so I spent some much-needed time with them. Good luck you guys, and know that I'll love you :hug: :heart:

However, Darryl bought me some water-color markers so I've been using those (lol, I'm sure you can tell by the recent updates). I'm working on a piece right now, and I'm trying to mix different colors together, and it's a two character piece. The next piece...I will work on double lightning. I look forward to your critique Cuong! :D




::Featured Art::
1::iconladyd666:


:iconhananounmei:


:iconheroic-moose:


:iconkakashi1031:



:: People and Clubs::
People I Know:
:iconjackspicerx: :iconsyracourage: :icon10000nails: :iconmichelle84: :iconivanushka: :iconcainslove: :iconozkai: :iconladyd666: *Neverdiex Self Counseling...Rant http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/23887770/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/23887770/ Wed, 25 Mar 2009 17:33:32 PDT
:: Self-Counseling/Rant ::
So, it seems I've ran into a wall with my art. I've noticed recently that my art hasn't improved...at all. I had expected that I would have improved -by now!- with coloring and lighting techniques. That I would have better design. Better layout.

But I feel like I haven't...and I'm seriously bothered by this. I'm already disturbed that I'm in the IMD program, and my level of coding (ha!) is nowhere near my classmates (yes, I know who they are...I am aware they do this sort of thing for fun/living). I do two different things, and I can't do either of them half-assed.

I had worked relentlessly on my upcoming website -Doodleheart.com- for a class project, only to end up hating it and becoming completely embarrassed by it when I had to present it for class. I did get alot of constructive criticism though, so I will be making those changes before I get it going live.

In addition, I feel as if my professional networking is a joke...I feel like some of the teachers here don't like me, even though I have all of the respect of the world for them.

I have an internship coming up that I need to get done. But I don't have enough confidence in myself to apply for anything. All of the imagination that I have, and I can't imagine myself having the confidence for a coding/web internship.

Needless to say, I'm rather bummed. But I keep telling myself to not give up, to keep going or otherwise...so many years of my life will have been wasted. And so much money. I try to pick myself up, try to keep my self-criticism in a positive and reasonable manner, but sometimes it goes a bit over the line.

Afterall, I have to do better for myself, for the people that I've called 'family' for so many years but only to find out that I am meaningless baggage because I'm not blood-related. I'm not worthless, and I can achieve more than them.

Well, there were just a lot of things I had to get off my chest; well, in a way that didn't involve a nervous breakdown.

If you read this, and cared, thank you. Sorry to showcase my problems publicly...




::Featured Art::
1::iconcainslove:



:: People and Clubs::
People I Know:
:iconjackspicerx: :iconsyracourage: :icon10000nails: :iconmichelle84: :iconivanushka: :iconcainslove: :iconozkai: :iconladyd666: :iconslady: http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/23580748/ Sat, 07 Mar 2009 19:25:56 PST
:: Quiz Time!::RULES::

#1) You must fill out EVERY question! No skipping!
#2) Tag five people afterward.
#3) Leave a message on their page telling them their tagged.

ARE YOU ,
1. Perfect?
Ha, no....far, very far from it.
2. Tall?
I'm closer to being tall then perfect ^_~ (FUN FACT: Did you know I was one of the tallest people in the 3rd grade? I guess I just stopped growing :XD:)
3. In your pajamas?
Yes....and they are damn cute.
4. Left handed?
Can be.

LAST ,
1. Friend you saw:
Jeri
2. Talked to on the phone:
Darryl
3. Person to text you:
Darryl
4. Was today better than yesterday?:
Yes! No work, slept for a few hours, 72 degree weather, also found out Kuja just has feline acne (lol, she has pimples like me) and an ingrown hair (IE, nothing serious!!) :heart:

FAVORITES :
1. Number:
8
2. Color(s):
purple
3. Fruit:
Kiwi (Kuja would agree)
4. Place:
Er, Chicago, warm, beach...

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS :
Q: What was the first thing you did this morning when you got up?
Turned off the alarm.

Q: Do you have anything bothering you ?
Homework...school....money...

Q: Fit or Fat ?
I'm fat for a skinny person.

Q: What's the last movie you saw ?
I fell asleep watching "White Fang"

Q: Where is the last place you went ?
McDonalds

Q. Do you smile a lot ?
Yeah, Darryl makes me smile

Q: Do you wish upon stars ?
They were just balls of burning gas; it didn't make sense to me.

Q: Are you a friendly person ?
Yeah, too friendly alot of times though...

Q: Where did you sleep last night ?
In a huge bed of cat hair AKA my bed.

Q: When was the last time you cried ?
Can't remember.

Q: What was your last thought before going to sleep last night ?
Annoyed...and worrying about Kuja.

Q: Rate life as of right now one being bad ten being great?
Pretty damn good considering I've still have a job.

Q: What do you hear right now ?
Computer humming.

Q: Does anything hurt right now ?
My wrist and my head.

Q: What's your favorite month ?
umm...Never thought of it like that.

Q: What did you do last night ?
Changed all 3 cat boxes and vacuumed my room.

EIGHT EMOTIONS :
1. Are you missing someone right now?
Yes, always.
2. Are you happy?
I've been told I'm not.
3. Are you sad?
Not really.
4. Are you bored?
I WISH.
5. Are you nervous?
Yeah...
6. Are you tired?
OMG yes...

ABOUT YOU :
001. Real name?
Kelli
002. Nicknames?
I think "Bitch" is a popular one.
003. Eye color?
Green
004. Zodiac sign?
Pisces
005. Male or Female?
F
009. Smart?
I like to think I am.
010. Hair color?
Blond.
011. Tall or short?
Deja vu? Wasn't this asked before?
013. Sweats or Jeans?
Jeans.
014. Phone or Camera?
Wtf? What's my purpose? Talking or taking pictures...? BOTH!
016. Drink or smoke?
I drink Coke.
020. Tattoos?
No.....I've got plenty of scars though.
021. Righty or lefty?
Righty-tighty, lefy-loosey!

FIRSTS :
024. First best friend?
Leeanna!! :heart:
025. First Crush?
umm...
027. First pet?
Tiger :heart: I'll miss him so...
049. Eating?
NOM NOM NOM
050. Drinking?
Hmmm, where is my coke...?
052. I'm about to:
...fart.
053. Listening to?
Death Cab for Cutie "Soul Meets Body"
080. Lost glasses/contacts?
LOL, yeah, I've lost my glasses lots of times...and Darryl, who was in Chicago, could tell me where they were at after I searched for an a length of time. ^^;
081. Ran away from home?
I've ran away from lots of things lots of times.
084. Broken someone's heart?
From what I've been told, yes.
085. Been arrested?
Haha, no, but I was put inside a cop's car and taken home for violating "curfew time" LAME!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN :
090: Miracles?
Yeah, I guess so.
089: Yourself?
I believe I have the uncanny ability to... ]]> *Neverdiex Cat Abuse -SICK! *Happy Update* http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/23483254/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/23483254/ Sat, 07 Mar 2009 20:14:12 PST
::Help Dusty the Cat!!::
A 14 year old, Kenny Christopher Glenn (and his brother) posted 2 videos where they had abused Dusty the Cat; including grabbing him by the neck, slamming him against the bathroom wall, punching him, and holding him underwater.

It's sick, and disgusting. Here is a link you can view to email the parents, find the brats, and help get this story out. You should scroll to the bottom and look at all the pictures people have posted.

For those that are worried, Dusty the cat is safe for now in a veternary hospital. However, they rescue an unnamed cat who they also abused.

::sighs:: Not to mention, that snot-nosed brat is racist; which are 2 things I cannot stand in a person.
(this hits a little close to home, since I found out that a member of the family abused a pet to get back at the person that owned that pet...)

*HAPPY UPDATE!!*
An update on Dusty and the black and white cat!
[link]=player_embedded" Here's a video of the cats doing well!

These abused cats will be going to a new home, and are physically well and mentally, doing better :heart: (no news about the serial-killers-in-the-making, we just need to see them hanged.)




::Featured Art::
1::iconcainslove:



2: :iconladyd666:



3: :iconartivous13:



4: http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/23047250/ Mon, 09 Feb 2009 02:51:01 PST
::Shout-Out::
I will feature my favorite art from the galleries of the first 10 comments posted.

It's DONE!!
(wow, this was harder than I thought.)

Congrats to those that commented in time (? wth?) uhhhhh...I'm usually in bed at this time, so my brain isn't definantly isn't working. If you want to do one, spread the love. Spread the love man.





::Featured Art::
1::iconcainslove:



2: :iconladyd666:



3: :iconartivous13:



4: :iconmaster-futon:



5: :iconkiareri:
http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/22329854/ Wed, 14 Jan 2009 05:49:21 PST
::News::
People Going: :iconjohn2p0: :iconjackspicerx: :iconneverdiex: :iconragnarok7x7:

Transportation: John's uber 'Mercury and luggage rack luggage holder... thing'

Hotels:
Sofitel:
$165 a night
2 people, that's $82.50 per.
3 people, $55.00 per.
4 people, $41.25 per.
5 people, $33.00 per.
6 people, $27.50 per.


MUCH MUCH thanks to :iconjohn2p0: and :iconjackspicerx:, we now have a room reserved at the Sofitel!!! It is a double-bed room (yes I updated the math). Er, how many nights are we staying? Just 2 right?

Cosplays:
:iconjohn2p0:
1. HUNK
2. Vacation-Action Ninja
3. ?

:iconragnarok7x7:
1. Barry
2. ?
3. ?

:iconjackspicerx:
1. J-rock
2. Punk School Kid
3. J-rock

:iconneverdiex:
1. j-rock
2. Aerith
3. ?

Okay, so fill in the blanks/make corrections/fix typos ^^;




::ACen 08::

*Neverdiex Light-Hearted After-Finals Quiz http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/22060883/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/22060883/ Fri, 19 Dec 2008 05:34:12 PST :iconcainslove: :ninja:
Just something I thought would be fun to do, especially after such a stressful quarter. :)

Post a comment, any comment...and:
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll tell you which holiday candy you remind me of.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
(If possible. If not, I'll say something that only makes sense to me.)
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.


***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
People I Know:
:iconjackspicerx: :iconsyracourage: :icon10000nails: :iconmichelle84: :iconivanushka: :iconcainslove: :iconozkai: :iconladyd666: :iconhyper3d: :iconpinapplepony: :iconheroic-moose: :iconmaster-futon: :iconbjizzle85: :iconxenothrope: :icontnt54: :iconsweetalicia: :iconhananounmei: :iconkiareri: :icon300happy: http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/21954492/ Fri, 12 Dec 2008 20:44:52 PST
It's hard to believe, yes I know. I've had that car for 4 years now (and 224,000 miles...). It's been a long journey, if not fun and aggravating at times. I'm rather sad and upset how it went too....I always felt like I was driving my coffin. I was afraid that it would, one day, exploded in flames or get wrecked that included a bridge and a semi (or two), oh, and ice. I would have never guessed that a large nation-wide corporation that is "known" to be reliable and knowledgeable enough to fix vehicles would be the ultimate cause to Jenova's downfall.

Oh Jenova overheated terribly, and antifreeze overflowed like a waterfall underneath my hood and all over my tire and engine. I brought it in on Saturday, got it Monday night...had to jump-start my car to drive to drive home and it did the SAME THING!! But, they had killed my battery so I was stranded in a bad part of town, in the cold and a hunk of metal that peed neon-yellow. Needless to say, Jenova was taken back there several times...and each time it was something new. They took a part out that I had already paid for, broke a dealership item, and in the process of me driving it and it overheating....it got a blown head gasket...

I'll miss that car. Can't say I'll miss the bungee cords, but oh well. Let's reminisce over all the swell times we've shared (at least go past the list to see what comes after Jenova!).
(Oh, these are not in any order, but as they come to memory ^^; )

    Jenova

  1. When I first got Jenova, my first day! as I was backing up out of my grandparents driveway, the back tire blew out.

  2. When I first bought the car, the lady informed me that the horn just stopped working one day. The horn will do that when it rusts into TWO pieces.

  3. Talking about the horn, my grandpa had gotten Jenova a new horn and placed it in a location where it wouldn't gather water and rust again. I parked in the Cherry Tree strip mall, and as I was getting out of the car, my elbow hit the horn. BLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-- Well, it wouldn't stop, I freaked, and I proceeded to wail on the horn/steering wheel with my fists til it stopped.
    It, uh, never worked again.

  4. The winter that I drove Jenova, I was driving home and uh, sort of speeding. I did my first doughnut and nearly missed someone's mailbox by inches. That was also my only doughnut.

  5. In my 1 year anniversary of owning Jenova, it actually sat there in the apartment parking lot because she couldn't DRIVE!

  6. All four wheel bearings have been changed at least 3x. Hit one too many potholes, then the other was a cheapy pair, and the other wasn't placed on properly. Oh my, the car makes a horrible noise when you go past speeds of 50mph.

  7. My tire almost flew off my car because some of the lug nuts wasn't tightened enough. That's a scary noise!

  8. Do you know what a shifter transmission cable is? I sure didn't until it broke. My car was parked, went to take it out of park and -SNAP!! My car could drive, but it couldn't park. And the emergency brakes didn't work either. So we had to "push" my car so it wouldn't back up into another car.

  9. Jenova has received a new radiator. I remember almost crying when I had to pay for it.

  10. So there's a bridge connecting the interstate to the lil' roadside right? Well, when I was jobless, I decided to have a goal for myself.
    I was going to drive 100mph over that bridge.
    (I did have rules, no rain, windows up, ect...) I did 96mph, but I was motivated enough to do so because my little brother was scared shitless and I had no "oh-shit" handles.

  11. I took a co-worker and his fiancee to his family that lived over 2 hours away. Yes, this was when I first got my car. No, I did not realize how long 2 hours was driving.

  12. Over the summer, Jenova kept overheating alot. I didn't have the money at the time, so I kept coolant/antifreeze and at least 3 jugs of water in the trunk just in case ...Well, one day, I had to get off the interstate to get water. I was OUT. I had to walk a long walk carrying 2 empty jugs...I walked into a really nice looking place, and they were uber nice! They gave me a drink of water, filled my jugs, and offered their help.

  13. Same thing as above, only some time later...I left class early, had dressed fairly nice because I was in a rush to go to my step-sister's wedding. Of course, it's pouring down rain, smoke is billowing up underneath my hood...I showed up to her wedding, late and completely soaked.... ]]> *Neverdiex Dear Secret Santa.... http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/21686595/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/21686595/ Wed, 26 Nov 2008 18:42:13 PST
    I would really love and appreciate a character drawing of me. I'm not very picky; it can be cartoony, realistic, sketchy, digitally done, inked, black and white, painted...Choose your medium and I will be uber stoked.
    If you're feeling really risky, feel free to try Darryl and I, Tamacho and/or Tachi.

    Please see below for the crap-ton load of links,

    Kelli:
     My Golden Year, I'm so pretty!!
    A pretty smile several years ago
    Me sitting in a tree
    Another smile...

    Darryl and I:
    Not too long ago =3
    My absolute favorite picture of us!

    Darryl:
    He's happy, don't let the beanie lie to you.

    Tamacho, Tachi, and I:
    A pencil drawing of the three of us.
    I can has sanity please?
    Dustin drew this (I still loves!) I colored.
    Thanks DA!
    Tachi-chan

    (whew!)
    Thanks and much luvs,
    Sincerely,
    Kelli


    ***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
    People I Know:
    :iconjackspicerx: :iconsyracourage: :icon10000nails: :iconmichelle84: :iconivanushka: :iconcainslove: :iconozkai: :iconladyd666: :iconhyper3d: :iconpinapplepony: :iconheroic-moose: :iconmaster-futon: :iconbjizzle85: :iconxenothrope: :icontnt54: http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/21107586/ Wed, 22 Oct 2008 09:22:59 PDT
    I'm taking 2 programming classes (Actionscripting, PHP, and MySQL language). I'm taking those classes because it's required in my degree.

    But I'm not a programmer. I know, stupid me! I feel like a complete oaf! I don't want to be a hard-core programmer, I want to learn it though.... I want to animate...

    So it's kinda of a "duh" thing; Stupid, why take Interactive Media Design instead of Media Arts and Animation? Well, they didn't have MAA when I signed up (that and no one knew (and still don't) what IMD was, so my rep twisted it to reflect MAA) and I wanted to be back in school.

    So when they finally brought MAA to the school, I tried to transfer....oh, it got ugly too. In fact, several faculty think I am MAA. But the academic director (at the time) wouldn't let me transfer and had finally stuck me with the financial aspect: Sallie Mae wouldn't let me borrow more $$$ until I get a degree. So I'd run out of money if I'd switched. (That's something a few of the students who did transfer are now learning...)

    So I'm freakin out, because I'm a terrible at this, and I'm already behind in my classes (something that's never really happened before)and the worst part about this...is that I'm not learning it. There's something in my brain that's not clicking. I feel so stupid and retarded! I'm the stupid one in the class that isn't getting it!! I can't code out the functions of a calculator...I can draw one. I can make it shiny even!

    So now I'm scared that--for the first time EVER--I'm going to fail a class (or two) and have to re-take it and greater most, fail out of school because, I'm assuming, my degree kinda sorta relies on this coding of PHP, MySQl, and Actionscripting...Now, don't get me wrong, I WANT to learn this stuff, but I don't think I'm wired that way.

    Sooooo....If I seem off, or upset, or just kinda-sorta cringing at life...that explains it. I'm going to tough it out, and do my best.

    ...and I still want to learn MAA...but that's a whole other issue and subject that I haven't fully sorted out yet.

    ***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
    People I Know:
    :iconjackspicerx: :iconsyracourage: :icon10000nails: :iconmichelle84: :iconivanushka: :iconcainslove: :iconozkai: :iconladyd666: :iconhyper3d: :iconpinapplepony: :iconheroic-moose: :iconmaster-futon: :iconbjizzle85: :iconxenothrope: http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/20901939/ Thu, 09 Oct 2008 07:55:31 PDT :iconladyd666: who got it from :iconjohn2p0:

    Rules:
    1. Post the rules
    2. Answer each question truthfully
    3. Tag 3-5 people at the end

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    1. What was your first cosplay? (Think hard on this)
    Errr, James Rocket from Pokemon!

    2. Did someone get you into cosplay? Or on your own?
    I love to dress up, and I think it stemmed from my mother's control over Halloween activities...You know, rebelling and all.../leaves out details

    3. What is your favourite cosplay?
    Haku (ish easy)

    4. Which is your least favourite?
    Rinoa

    5. At conventions, do people compliment you on your cosplays?
    Errr...Aerith got ALOT of compliments...so did Rinoa...James got alot of stares. :D

    6. How many have you done?
    8 (James, Rinoa, Haku, Aerith, Tachi, Amanda Palmer, 'J-Rock' and "angst")

    7. What are the top 5 on your list of "Want to Cosplay"?
    Sakura (Card Captors), Chii/Goth Lolita Victorian dresses, Piccolo,....uh, Ki-Ki (Ki-Ki's Delivery Service) and Zidane (FF9)

    8. (Girls only) What female cosplay do you want to do most?
    Sakura (where I can wear the lolita-frilly dresses and such ^_^)

    9. What male cosplay do you want to do most?
    A male-ish j-rocker?

    10. What do you prefer to do, make or buy your costumes?
    Assemble. Because I can't sew, I have to buy from those who do :(

    11. Your most memorable experience? What makes it so memorable?
    Pictures of Darryl and I when we were dressed as Tachi and Sukram. :)

    12. Your dream cosplay?
    Piccolo

    13. Is there a pattern in your cosplays? If so, what?
    Whatever my impulse is. :boogie:

    14. Your most recent cosplay?
    (zombie) Aerith

    15. What do you prefer? Cosplaying in a group or on your own?
    I like both, but in a group, you feel more "welcomed" versus you doing things for the hell of it.

    NOW TAG SOME PEOPLE!

    :iconjackspicerx: :iconcainslove: :iconsyracourage:


    ***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
    People I Know:
    :iconjackspicerx: :iconsyracourage: :icon10000nails: :iconmichelle84: :iconivanushka: :iconcainslove: :iconozkai: :iconladyd666: *Neverdiex Upgrade: CS4 http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/20748647/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/20748647/ Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:13:49 PDT Here is where you can view videos to the latest CS4 demonstrations!

    Okay, I've heard some awesome news about the latest CS4 upgrade...I may be able to get used to this. :D From what I heard, you can do 3D in Photoshop.

    Here is the link of the demonstration of Flash CS4!

    Well, I haven't read any articles yet about this, but I've seen that. So. Cool!

    ***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
    People I Know:
    :iconjackspicerx: :iconsyracourage: :icon10000nails: :iconmichelle84: :iconivanushka: :iconcainslove: :iconozkai: :iconladyd666: :iconhyper3d: :iconpinapplepony: :iconheroic-moose: :iconmaster-futon: :iconbjizzle85: :iconxenothrope: :icontnt54: :iconsweetalicia: :iconhananounmei: :iconkiareri: :icon300happy: :icondragoonofvalor: :iconbatz008: :iconjohn2p0: *Neverdiex On The Bright Side http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/20582504/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/20582504/ Sat, 20 Sep 2008 09:45:01 PDT
    So, I'm asking several people's help in helping me get my files back. IE, copying pictures and such. The HARDEST part is getting ahold of family to get the family function pictures...Although, I'm afraid my school work is gone for good.... ::cries on the inside::

    However....at least I still have Ansem, my laptop, a new hard drive, my OLD hard drive, my Cintiq, my waccom tablet...at least there's family and friends that have copies of some of my lost files. :D And besides, this will teach me for sure....and those who have been burned the worst, um, learns the hardest?

    Also, I got my retainer!!!! WHOOOOO!!! :boogie: I already feel SO much better, and I can TAKE ALEVE to make the pain go away! I still have half a bottle of narcotics though, and I'll keep them around just in case...I have to wear this retainer 24/7, eating, sleeping, talking, 'kissey-facey' (as they put it XD) for 6 MONTHS. Then, I wear it for 6 weeks-6 months just at night....if that doesn't help, then I'll need braces.

    Needless to say, it's a riot to watch me eat with this thing in my mouth. I'm getting better at talking with it, but that was hilarious too. Oh, this doesn't happen anymore, but I was drooling alot too. XD

    Thanks so much to everyone for their comfort and support and LOVES!!! :glomp:


    ***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
    People I Know:
    :iconjackspicerx: :iconsyracourage: :icon10000nails: :iconmichelle84: :iconivanushka: :iconcainslove: :iconozkai: :iconladyd666: :iconhyper3d: :iconpinapplepony: :iconheroic-moose: :iconmaster-futon: :iconbjizzle85: :iconxenothrope: :icontnt54: http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/20526381/ Tue, 16 Sep 2008 17:53:04 PDT Bye Bye Mini Han...

    After a long and memorable time together, it is now time to part...I never got to say good-bye to him (ie, I haven't recently got to back-up my data!!) and my heart wrenches with pain...

    DAMMNIT! I lost ALOT of stuff!!! I don't even want to think about it...I don't want to even start imagining all of the new art, new references, all the homework, all of MY new stuff (so it was crap, but it was still my art...) I typically back up my data every quarter, but I have a feeling that this last couple of quarters I haven't done...And this is the end of the quarter...I lost my final. ::sighs::

    ::cries on the inside::


    ***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
    People I Know:
    :iconjackspicerx: :iconsyracourage: :icon10000nails: :iconmichelle84: :iconivanushka: :iconcainslove: :iconozkai: :iconladyd666: :iconhyper3d: :iconpinapplepony: :iconheroic-moose: :iconmaster-futon: :iconbjizzle85: :iconxenothrope: :icontnt54: :iconsweetalicia: :iconhananounmei: :iconkiareri: :icon300happy: :icondragoonofvalor: :iconbatz008: :iconjohn2p0: http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/16009753/ Sat, 10 May 2008 06:19:47 PDT
    So, here's a little check-list...
    Non-cosplay clothes
    Toothbrush,toothpaste,hairbrush, shaver, ect
    Shampoo, conditioner, body wash
    Make-up? (I will be bringing my assortment, in case anyone will be needing it)
    Phones and CHARGERS!!
    Games and/or iPods (and their cords)
    Cosplays outfits
    Cosplay accessories
    ACen Badge!!!
    Shoes, socks
    $$$
    Contacts and contact solution, glasses (hey, I've done it before...)
    Cameras and/or video recorders (and their cords and batteries)
    PLENTY of batteries!! Digital cameras eat those things up yo! (I went through 12 batteries last year O_o )

    Okay, that's all I could think of off the top of my head. I'm sure there's more. Lots more.

    Here is the rough game plan Thursday night:
    Tessa and I have class that night, so I'll take her to my place afterwards.
    Erica will take Natalie and Lance over to my place, and hopefully will arrive there around 10:30 or so.
    John will pick up Josh (and poor Josh, he has to hang out at the school if John is working...) and then they'll meet at my place after John gets off work.
    So, we will meet at my place and I'll order pizza (any preference? I personally like sausage and pineapple (I can order 2 large, np)) and we'll chill until its time to go. Also, it will give us some time to go over and make sure we have everything.

    ALSO, for those who are parking at my place let me know! I NEED to get you a parking pass so your car won't get towed!! I've seen it happen before.

    Other than that, we all have cell phones (or, most of us do). We'll swap numbers (to ensure we have the RIGHT, UPDATED numbers) and we can get ahold of each other that way; most likely this tactic will be used during ACen.

    Any additional comments? Something I forgot to take in account for?

    Time of departing
    Leaving: Closer to Mid-night rather than 10:30-aka-right-after-class. Arrving 4am-ish.
    Returning: :cries: Do we gotta?

    Transportation
    Carpooling with John.

    Temporary Residence
    Hyatt Regency O'hare!!!
    :iconjackspicerx: and :iconneverdiex: are sharing a room.
    :iconjohn2p0: , :iconsyracourage: , :iconladyd666:, :iconhananounmei:, :iconragnarok7x7: and Lance are sharing a room.
    In the event that a room isn't immediately prepared upon our arrival, luggage can be stored at our room, or left in the car (whichever you want, I don't care.)

    From :iconjohn2p0:
    "the price of the room is now 287.02 for TWO nights! and with lance and natalie coming along, the price per person will be 47.836667, or 48.00 is ya REALLY wanna round it to the nearest easily measurable amount of currency..."

    Food
    Mitsuwa.
    McDonalds.
    And anything else we can scrounge. :iconjackspicerx: room will have a mini-fridge.
    This is a list of the food in the area we can go eat at. Yay!!!!

    *Neverdiex Lack of Art http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/14925607/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/14925607/ Fri, 05 Oct 2007 11:14:12 PDT *Double Deuce Duo
    *Sephiroth and Aerith *~---- SNEAK PEEK HERE!!!!!--~*

    School:
    *3D Model of Tamacho's Head

    ***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***


    Sorry guys for the lack of art. Well, good art. I've done a shitload of sketching, but nothing...good. I haven't been able to finish anything. Haven't had time to hang with friends. Or watch movies or animes. Or even play games. Just school, work, and sleep. (I slept over 15 hours last night! O_o)

    To be honest, I've been real depressed as of late. I need my happy pills.

    Oh, and another depressing note...I'm staying with IMD. Not MAA. I'm frustrated with this school, and I'm don't want to be going to school for 8+ years. But I really SUCK at IMD. Whatever the hell that is.

    Sorry for the really depressing entry guys.



    ***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
    Collegaues
    :iconjackspicerx: :iconjohn2p0: :iconladyd666: :iconartivous13: :iconmichelle84: :iconsyracourage: :icon300happy:

    People
    :iconangellymisty: :iconanimaraptor: :iconbetrayal-and-wisdom: :iconbri-chan: :icongts: :iconcainslove: :iconheartthatfeelsnolove: :iconherms85: :iconkacfrog711: :iconlone-momo: :iconozkai: :iconrisachantag: :iconchernobylpets: http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/13887779/ Thu, 26 Jul 2007 12:43:50 PDT
    Its fun watching two cats go after a spider that's bigger than their paw. Add that to the list of things you must see/do before you die, along with putting sheets on a bed with a cat on it.

    As far as my art go, its...um, not going as much as I'd like it to. Ideally, I want to have HOURS to spend on my art...including planning, and all the like. When I get the urge, the craving, the lust to do art, dammit, I want to do it! Not trying to remember to add it to the list of projects to do whenever I have the free time....

    Anyhow, I'd like to use this space to bring up a matter that's been heavily on my mind as of late...I'd like to know what others thoughts are. So please, let me know your thoughts, even if you don't know, TELL ME. Because I'd like to know that you are in the same spot as me.
    *Ahem* First, a little back story.
    I grew up watching Disney and Anime, hence, my style and my personality. When I was 12 years of age, roughly in the 4th grade, I knew I wanted to be an animator. I watched credits, reading the names and admired those who made the movies (all I ever watched was animated stuff). I tried hard. I drew any and all things possible. I took some HARSH critique and used it to my advantage. I went through alot of "How to Draw" books, studied, traced, copied, read, you name it, I tried it.

    Yeah, blah blah blah, point in blank--I reallywanted to be an animator. I went to the Illinois Art Institute and majored in Media Arts and Animation. (I withdrew due to financial problems.) However, I got really depressed because I wasn't in school. I wasn't doing what I wanted to do. So, you can only imagine how happy I was when an AI opened here in the Indianapolis area.
    however, they didn't have Media Arts and Animation (MAA). The closest they had was Interactive Media Design (IMD). So I took that. However, after of 2 years of being in the IMD program, they MAY have the MAA program here!! :shock:

    So here's my conflict:
    IMD is more practical than MAA. You can find a job easier because its more versitle; and their is a higher demand for that versus animators. (or so I think...I could be wrong!)
    But, MAA is my heart. Even though I'm in a terrible class where the teacher ...needs better planning, I'll just say, its just the fact its a animation sort of class!! I'm doing storyboards, and the final project is an animation!! It makes me happy, and the slight taste of that makes me want more...I want to draw characters, and develop stories, and create worlds that is unimaginable...

    But do I really want to spend so much money on a career that won't be as rewarding? OR, do I really want to spend so much money on a career that won't be as satisfying to me or my skills?

    So, ....what would you do? What are your thoughts? Ideas? Questions? You can be harsh, you can even tell me I stink. I don't care, just as long as your TRUTHFUL!

    Thanks so much! :w00t:


    List of Possible Projects:
    *Double Deuce Duo
    *Sephiroth and Aerith *~----     SNEAK PEEK HERE!!!!!--~*
    *"Mama"; My Chemical Romance
    *Orestes

    School:
    *3D Environment
    *Animation, Tobias and Lilanna


    ***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
    Collegaues
    :iconjackspicerx: :iconjohn2p0: :iconladyd666: :iconartivous13: :iconmichelle84: http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/13176128/ Fri, 01 Jun 2007 12:01:32 PDT
    I was kinda lost as to what to do and what not to do. But still, I gave it my all.

    And some harsh, hard words were said. Hit me kinda hard too.

    As of now, I'm just sitting here, kinda dizzy and phased...not sure what to think. Not sure what to do.


    So....um, yeah.

    I feel like I've just had a life-changing experience. I probably did though.




    ***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
    Collegaues
    :iconjackspicerx: :iconjohn2p0: :iconladyd666: :iconartivous13: :iconmichelle84: :iconsyracourage: :icon300happy:

    People
    :iconangellymisty: :iconanimaraptor: :iconbetrayal-and-wisdom: :iconbri-chan: :icongts: :iconcainslove: :iconheartthatfeelsnolove: :iconherms85: :iconkacfrog711: :iconlone-momo: :iconozkai: :iconrisachantag: :iconchernobylpets: :iconjohnsu: :iconluciole: :iconnashya: http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/11647837/ Thu, 01 Feb 2007 13:26:22 PST
    I felt it needed to be shared.

    -----------------------------------------


    Every day, there are more and more Craigs List posts seeking “artists” for everything from auto graphics to comic books to corporate logo designs. More people are finding themselves in need of some form of illustrative service.

    But what they’re NOT doing, unfortunately, is realizing how rare someone with these particular talents can be.

    To those who are “seeking artists”, let me ask you; How many here are professional illustrators. There are eleven times as many certified mechanics. There are SEVENTY times as many people in the IT field.

    So, given that they are less rare, and therefore less in demand, would it make sense to ask your mechanic to work on your car for free? Would you look him in the eye, with a straight face, and tell him that his compensation would be the ability to have his work shown to others as you drive down the street?

    Would you offer a neurosurgeon the “opportunity” to add your name to his resume as payment for removing that pesky tumor? (Maybe you could offer him “a few bucks” for “materials”. What a deal!)

    Would you be able to seriously even CONSIDER offering your web hosting service the chance to have people see their work, by viewing your website, as their payment for hosting you?

    If you answered “yes” to ANY of the above, you’re obviously insane. If you answered “no”, then kudos to you for living in the real world.

    But then tell me… why would you think it is okay to live out the same, delusional, ridiculous fantasy when seeking someone whose abilities are even less in supply than these folks?

    Graphic artists, illustrators, painters, etc., are skilled tradesmen. As such, to consider them as, or deal with them as, anything less than professionals fully deserving of your respect is both insulting and a bad reflection on you as a sane, reasonable person. In short, it makes you look like a twit.

    A few things you need to know;

    1. It is not a “great opportunity” for an artist to have his work seen on your car/’zine/website/bedroom wall, etc. It IS a “great opportunity” for YOU to have their work there.

    2. It is not clever to seek a “student” or “beginner” in an attempt to get work for free. It’s ignorant and insulting. They may be “students”, but that does not mean they don’t deserve to be paid for their hard work. You were a “student” once, too. Would you have taken that job at McDonalds with no pay, because you were learning essential job skills for the real world? Yes, your proposition it JUST as stupid.

    3. The chance to have their name on something that is going to be seen by other people, whether it’s one or one million, is NOT a valid enticement. Neither is the right to add that work to their “portfolio”. They get to do those things ANYWAY, after being paid as they should. It’s not compensation. It’s their right, and it’s a given.

    4. Stop thinking that you’re giving them some great chance to work. Once they skip over your silly ad, as they should, the next ad is usually for someone who lives in the real world, and as such, will pay them. There are far more jobs needing these skills than there are people who possess these skills.

    5. Students DO need “experience”. But they do NOT need to get it by giving their work away. In fact, this does not even offer them the experience they need. Anyone who will not/can not pay them is obviously the type of person or business they should be ashamed to have on their resume anyway. Do you think professional contractors list the “experience” they got while nailing down a loose step at their grandmother’s house when they were seventeen?

    If you your company or gig was worth listing as desired experience, it would be able to pay for the services it received. The only experience they will get doing free work for you is a lesson learned in what kinds of scrubs they should not lower themselves to deal with.

    6. (This one is FOR the artists out there, please pay attention.) Some will ask you to “submit work for consideration”. They may even be posing as some sort of “contest”. These are almost always scams. They will take the work submitted by many artists seeking to win the “contest”, or be “chosen” for the gig, and find what they like most. They will then usually have someone who works for them, or someone who works incredibly cheap because they have no originality or talent of their own, reproduce that same work, or even just make slight modifications to it, and claim it as their own. You will NOT be paid, you will NOT... ]]>     *Neverdiex     I'm BACK~~!! http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/11352438/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/11352438/ Sun, 07 Jan 2007 16:02:12 PST >.>
    <.<
    O_o


    On DA, I don't get noticed much, but thats okay...I'm not really on here much. ^_^;;

    But what I meant by, "I'm BACK!!!" was, my art skills have improved and I'm shelling out bad-ass art!
    w00t!! Go me!

    But school starts tommorrow, and I'm working 40+ hours and full time at school too, can I keep this up? ....

    Only God knows...

    ]]>     *Neverdiex     Artists Block http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/10694390/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/10694390/ Sat, 11 Nov 2006 20:50:20 PST
    I recently moved not too long ago, and less than a week, I got a new job. I'm struggling in school due to the move and the drastic changes in my life, well, that and some of my classes just suck ASS. ....Especially my audio class. (Sadly, its better than the other audio class thats available) I just want to record me screaming and mixing that with some stupid shit, to show my angst. *angstangstangstangstangst*

    Oh, speaking of angst. Please, separate me from angst. Do not get me and angst mixed up. I am just the spokesperson for angst. I am out to spread the word about angst. Angst.

    But I really wish I could draw or something...do something to escape, even if it was just for a lil bit. At my new job, I'm getting hours, even overtime hours, O_o so that sucks up precious time for homework and cleaning (Sesshoumaru, in spite of me, clawed the carpet.) I'll probably do some sort of fanart or replica of someone else's drawing...or I may sleep. I just love to go to my bed and curl up into a lil ball and fight off the loniness...Its so lonely. But oh fucking well, doesn't matter. I just wanna get out of my drawing block...or maybe I'm just tired of drawing. Or maybe....I dunno, I just don't feel like I'm as creative as I used to be, I just don't feel like...

    Then again, would you count going to a Chinese restaurant and getting depressed because your eating by yourself, so you start playing with your food; making the oinions walls to a castle, peas as people, carrots as bridges, the fried shrimp as a forest, and a giant piece of imimtation crab meat as a dragon that then rampages the world (ie, me stabbing the plate of food, nearly screaming/growling lyk the dragon) as creative or someone whose bored to death? ....

    ]]>     *Neverdiex     "My December" http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/10040131/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/10040131/ Wed, 01 Nov 2006 16:10:32 PST
    OMG, WHAT A HUGE UPDATE!!!
    Never again will I ever post 14 pages at once....

    I HOPE you guys enjoy this and are entertained. Also, it looked alot different on Ansem (my laptop) .....Why is that?

    ]]>     *Neverdiex     I Need Your Opinion http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/9578029/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/9578029/ Wed, 02 Aug 2006 14:19:36 PDT
    ....

    Um, I don't like the cliche of bulky, overmuscular men with always looking gruff with facial hair.... [I have a character or two or three like this though ^_^;;] After his annoying persistance, I finally gave him an option: to draw my 3 characters. Tamacho, Jean, and Tachi.

    He then made 2 more comments...
    1) Naming characters after weapons was old. [I didn't know until a couple of weeks ago that Tachi is actually a sword [its where the katana derived from] thanks to a homework/freak google accident] Apparently, Tamacho is a weapon. He won't tell me what SPECIFICALLY it is....
    2) That, how typical to have a "big-chested woman" [he referred to Marvel]. Tachi is has more of a bust than Jean, but I wouldn't say "big-chested" [....look at Lilanna or Lienjia for big chested] Also, Tachi is shorter, more petite, and not as thin as Jean is.

    I've never had anyone insult Tamacho before [because all he's really seen was pictures of Tamacho]. I've had someone mispronouce his name before, but not as an insult [...his name isn't pronouced the way it looks]. To insult Tamacho [and even Tachi] is the quickest ways to piss me off.

    [And to have me stay pissed off at you too!]

    And so, for THE POINT OF THIS JOURNAL!!!!!!

    Are my characters, male or female, androgynous or not? Your input would be greatly appreciated. ::hugs:: :cookie: :cookie: :cookie: ]]>     *Neverdiex     Unfamiliar... http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/9490881/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/9490881/ Tue, 25 Jul 2006 14:14:40 PDT
    Now, my self confidence is taking a challenge. You see, I am now in classes where it seems I should have taken this class prior, or I should have excellent knowledge of this porgram, or that program, or have a kick-ass computer at home...I'm not used to this. And its frustrating! I have an idea of what I want to do, but my lack of knowledge of the program is preventing me from accomplishing it!!

    Now, in the past two weeks, I have gotten better. I just mainly wanted to update my journal, and talk about the recent art stuff. ^_^;; ]]>     *Neverdiex     Office Space -Finsihed!!! http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/8185202/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/8185202/ Wed, 22 Mar 2006 16:06:12 PST
    To make it harder on me, we can't do any animation films. Soooooo.....

    I chose Office Space. Sarah chose the scene I could do, and I managed to get 5 minutes out of it. And I rounded up roles and characters, and even BOUGHT items for this project [i.e., pink buttoned up collared shirt, stapler, ....] It was freakin' awesome. And we filmed it, and thought we were done.

    But then the school got lighting sets. So, we had to reshoot it all over again. The sad thing is, Sarah couldn't join us, but Mark could!! Also, I had a better idea of what the hell I was doing, as far as angles and shots went. So I could spend more time expirementing on the lighting. I bought food, snacks, and drinks for all of us, and even had to pick a couple of people up. It had a great start....but I got tired and cranky towards the end of it. Well....the 4 people who were stuck in that tiny-ass room, with 2 light lamps [which made it like, 10-20 degrees warmer] not to mention, the mess-ups and repeats [some of it was hilarious, [ChikaWHAAAAAAA!!!]] AND holding the camera caused a red knot on my knuckles, AAAND, in order to try and get some of the shots I needed, I had to zoom out [which wasn't enough] then bend my back into the most painful position over the lamp, but I had to bend my knees down so I was eye-level with the actors....In case you're wondering, no, there wasn't ENOUGH ROOM for the tripod. I would have used it if I could have.

    Plus, I was dead tired. I was sleep deprived, and work had me soooo stressed out, and even though it was fun, my final project was stressful. On top of all that, that same DAY, I found out my intake mofo [its what I've been callling it] is leaking for my car, so that would cost me around 800$ to fix. I say, for what all I was putting up with....I was handling it pretty damn well.

    WELL.......[the story isn't over yet kiddies!!] I wanted to unload the info/film whatever from my tape to the computer [so I wouldn't need the camera during class, in case they were all unavailable] .....As I'm unloading them, ....they ....have this..fuzzy lines.....

    I started crying. I started stressing out. I emailed my teacher and wanted to know what was wrong, but he didn't know, since he needed to see it. The next day, in class, I pull up my editting reel and show it to him.

    "...So, what's wrong with it?" Me, sitting there, completely dumbfounded. No fuzzy lines!! It....it was perfectly clear...[Except for around Erica's hair, it was a BRIGHT red, so it was fuzzy a little] .....

    So now, ...all I have to do is edit!!!! I want to do an opening thing, and closing credits to, and also, I want to put some bloopers, and also, a bit of the FIRST shooting. [With Sarah in it! [I was also upset in the first shooting, because the exposure and lighting and color was all off....]] [Damn my over-perfectionist] So, if you want a copy or whatever, I'm going to burn a little DVD of it [IF it turns out the way I hope it to] So if you want one, LET ME KNOW!!! :heart: I'm excited about how its going to turn out, and I hope you are too!!

    Catch you on the flip side!

    *Edit, 3/22/2006*
    Welll.......shoooooo doggy. Editting is harder than I expected. I didn't get some of the right camera angles that I needed, and for the HARDEST scene, [the one with all kinds of different angles, and cuts, and pans, [which I didn't get any] and also, it was the one in that small-ass room] I missed on getting some of the REALLY important shots and angles. ::cries:: But, the rest of it is sooo fucking cool, maybe the teacher won't notice!! Plus, if I edit it REALLY good, maybe he won't even notice its not the same ones as the movie......Heheee, I bend the rules all the time, I'm a master at it at work. ^__^ Plus, I added some neat stuff, and hopefuly, I'll be able to put in some bloopers!! ^_^

    *Edit, 3/24/2006*
    OMG, its DONE!!! Like, I got everything I wanted to do, done!! The bloopers, the credits, everything!!! Its so fucking awesome!!!

    The only problem I'm having now, is burning it to a DVD......damn thing. ]]>     *Neverdiex     Please Say That You Love Me http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/8115453/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/8115453/ Thu, 09 Mar 2006 19:03:03 PST
    » I committed suicide:
    » I lived next door to you:
    » I started smoking:
    » I stole something:
    » I was hospitalized:
    » I ran away from home:
    » I got into a fight and you weren't there:

    WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:

    » Personality:
    » Art:
    » Comments:
    » Character Designs:

    WHAT ABOUT US:

    » Who are you?
    » Are we friends?
    » When and how did we meet?
    » How have I affected you?
    » What do you think of me?
    » What's the fondest memory you have of me?
    » How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
    » Have I ever hurt you?
    » Would you hug me?
    » Are we close?
    » Emotionally, what stands out?
    » Do you wish I was cooler?
    » On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
    » Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
    » Am I loveable?
    » How long have you known me?
    » Describe me in one word.
    » What was your first impression?
    » Do you still think that way about me now?
    » What do you think my weakness is?
    » Do you think I'll get married?
    » What about me makes you happy?
    » What about me makes you sad?
    » What reminds you of me?
    » What's something you would change about me?
    » How well do you know me?
    » Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
    » Do you think I would kill someone?
    » Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you? ]]>     *Neverdiex     Love of Art http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/5677192/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/5677192/ Fri, 17 Jun 2005 13:40:19 PDT
    I look forward to the future. ]]>     *Neverdiex     Feel The Dream In Me Expire http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/5132466/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/5132466/ Tue, 19 Apr 2005 18:00:25 PDT
    The only way I am able to do pictures is if it is on a to-do list, a planned image. Or a request.

    I feel the dream in me expire...my desire to be an animator has weaned down to a slim thread....but it is still there....perhaps this has occcured merely because of the chances my dreams will happen. Maybe if I go back to college my spirits will rise.... ]]>     *Neverdiex     Painting http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/4620327/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/4620327/ Sat, 19 Feb 2005 07:51:02 PST
    I have recently been drawing alot of pics of my character and her husband, (Tachi and Jack Spicer) However, for some reason, I just haven't been posting them here....One of them, I will. Once I do the background, I will post the image here. So, just leave me a swift kick in the butt, and hopefully that will get me to get going on the background...... :sweat:

    I was recently informed, that my birthday is coming up here soon, like, Monday soon. :O (I have a bad habit of forgetting my birthday) So....(and I am going to be the big 2-0) I decided to do soemthing for myself....

    I am going to paint. Yes, I will drag my paint stuff out of the shed, and go paint somewhere...I may paint outisde, if the weather is good, or I may paint at Sarah's house, if she will let me. :sweat: Or, worse come to worse, I can paint at home.

    But WHAT to paint.......do I finish "Your God Forsaken" (a painting started in acrylics to vent out my frustration since the Pell Grant was taken away from me) Do I finish (or even touch up) "Don't Close Your Eyes (You Won't Like What You See)" or even "So Like A Rose"? [Yes, I tend to start paintings but never finish them, I'm so sad!!] OR........do I do something completely NEW??

    Heh, looks like I will be busy, eh?

    Song: "Painters" by Jewel ]]>     *Neverdiex     Inspiration http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/4302767/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/4302767/ Wed, 12 Jan 2005 13:07:19 PST
    "Rain" -Breaking Benjamin
    Take a photograph,
    It'll be the last,
    Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here,

    I don't have a past
    I just have a chance,
    Not a family or honest plea remains to say,

    Rain rain go away,
    Come again another day,
    All the world is waiting for the sun.

    Is it you I want,
    Or just the notion
    Of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around

    Safe to say from here,
    Your getting closer now,
    We are never sad cause we are not allowed to be

    Rain rain go away,
    Come again another day,
    All the world is waiting for the sun.

    Rain rain go away,
    Come again another day,
    All the world is waiting for the sun.

    To lie here under you,
    Is all that I could ever do,
    To lie here under you is all,
    To lie here under you is all that i could ever do,
    To lie here under you is all,

    Rain rain go away,
    Come again another day,
    All the world is waiting for the sun.

    Rain rain go away,
    Come again another day,
    All the world is waiting for the sun,
    All the world is waiting for the sun,
    All the world is waiting for the sun. ]]>     *Neverdiex     Happy Holidays http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/4152245/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/4152245/ Sat, 25 Dec 2004 07:44:35 PST
    Anyhow, I just wanted to post that Aaron and I are going to Missouri to spend the New Year and see Melissa's new baby!!! ["HI BABY!!" -Gir] So, I won't get back till January 6 or 7, so thats a long time to not post or check out everyones new posting! So, I'm posting a bit of stuff that I've done in the past [stuff that I'd like to be on here actually]. When I get back, I know I'll be on Deviant ALONE for several hours, looking at everyone's new stuff, reading journals, reading comments and notes and checking out everyone's favs.

    I hope everyone has a happy new year, and a very merry Christmas.....full of love and joy, and merryiness and all that stuff.

    Song for the entry: "All I Want For Christmas" -Mariah Carey
    I don't want a lot for Christmas
    There is just one thing I need
    I don't care about the presents
    Underneath the Christmas tree
    I just want you for my own
    More than you could ever know
    Make my wish come true
    All I want for Christmas
    Is you...

    I don't want a lot for Christmas
    There is just one thing I need
    I don't care about the presents
    Underneath the Christmas tree
    I don't need to hang my stocking
    There upon the fireplace
    Santa Claus won't make me happy
    With a toy on Christmas day
    I just want you for my own
    More than you could ever know
    Make my wish come true
    All I want for Christmas
    Is you...
    You baby

    I won't ask for much this Christmas
    I won't even wish for snow
    I'm just gonna keep on waiting
    Underneath the mistletoe
    I won't make a list and send it
    To the North Pole for Saint Nick
    I won't even stay awake to
    Hear those magic reindeer click
    'Cause I just want you here tonight
    Holding on to me so tight
    What more can I do
    Baby all I want for Christmas
    Is you...
    You...

    All the lights are shining
    So brightly everywhere
    And the sound of children's
    Laughter fills the air
    And everyone is singing
    I hear those sleigh bells ringing
    Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
    Won't you please bring my baby to me...

    Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
    This is all I'm asking for
    I just wanna see baby
    Standing right outside my door
    Oh I just want you for my own
    More that you could ever know
    Make my wish come true
    Baby all I want for Christmas
    Is you..
    All I want for Christmas is you baby ]]>     *Neverdiex     Bad Artist http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/4132292/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/4132292/ Wed, 22 Dec 2004 23:41:09 PST
    I guess I must be a 'bad artist' or maybe I am in a bad mood. I am sitting here, reflecting on my past failures as an "artist". I assumed that since I went to college, I had earned the title, "artist" but because of my failure, I guess I lost it.
    I would post about what pieces of art of mine failed, but....I doubt I have the room for it.

    In college, I submitted 2 works of mine for a contest. They both failed. However, all works were submitted into a gallery for the whole Chicago viewing pleasure, BUT I was unable to witness this specaular event due to a hospital stay.
    Failure in scholarhip contest.
    Failure in getting works of art upon the wall [The one in mind is my Relief project, the one that took me nearly 2-3 days STRAIGHT to do!!]
    Failure in Dinosaur scholarship contest.
    Failure in XL scholarship [DAMN IT!!! IT DIDN'T GET PAST THE FIRST FUCKING ROUND!!!!!!]
    Failure in Children's Muesum Scholarhip [Umm, yeah, where did my Fallen Angel and Momma one go? Bastards!]
    Failure in Frisco League Portait entry.
    Several failures in the Frisco League actually.....
    An obvious failure that cannot be missed is the failure here in Devaint Art.
    Man, this is depressing.....And where are my successes? WHAT IS KEEPING ME GOING?!!! WHY DO I TRY AND TRY AND TRY SOME MORE???!!! I'm like the ...thing that keeps walking into the brick wall, over and over and over again. [as everyone points and laughs]

    I guess.......


    Because I am not doing this for everyone. I am not doing this for other people's pleasure.

    Dammit, I'm a selfish person. I'm doing this for my myself. Me and no one else.

    I am trying to get other people to help me do what I love to do....but sadly, they don't want me to. well, fuck you too [damn son of a bitch, the jerks. ] The govt takes my grant, and tell me to work construction. I don't wanna work construction. MY GOAL IS NOT YOUR GOAL!!! I am NOT in thsi for the money. If it was, I'd stay in construction. But.....money sucks. Its a piece of paper and cotton you dipshits. You're letting some.....cotton rule your LIFE??!! Not I. I AM BETTER than that. [My momma taught me that]

    Well, maybe not better....but......I've got my priorities straight. But why do I want to express myself? To express myself for everyone to see........
    Here we go again, FOR EVERYONE TO SEE. What's the deal? I do something for me, but in secretly for everyone else? This is very confusing. Who cares about me? Why should I be expressed? Am I not the same organic decaying matter that everyone else is? Am I not also a sheep? The same white sheep like everyone else? What is so specail about me that I should be expressed through a holy act like art? Don't tell me, "everyone is special" bc [I learned this in The Incrediables movie] If everyone is special, then NO ONE is special. I may feel like I am the only one going thru this, that I am the only one who feels like this.........but there are thousands like me. What makes me any different?

    Maybe its because this white sheep is finding a new way to be different. Like streaking its natural hair blue. [But yet, there are thousands of sheep who have already done that] What makes me different?

    I can think of one!!! No one else has the scars that I do!! ^___^ YAY!!!!! ::huggles me:: Many sheep may have scars, but not like I do.

    So um .....yeah, anyone on Deviant Art actually reads my diary entries?

    I thought so. Not a one. ^_~

    Song for the entry-- "Someone Else's Song" -LifeHouse ]]>     *Neverdiex     Art http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/4001933/ http://Neverdiex.deviantart.com/journal/4001933/ Mon, 06 Dec 2004 10:24:32 PST Art is everything. Think about it. Everything was created. Yet, this ties very closely into religion, for God ultimatly created everything. But if you don't believe in God or a higher being, then in that sense, some things are not art, bc they weren't created...Yet, they've HAD to been created in order to be HERE.

    Anyhow, just some food for thought. I am currently in a mindset that I am trying to get back into art and the like. Ever since I dropped out of college [due to FINACES, I had a perfect 4.0] my desire to draw or to do any kind of art or animation nearly completely disappeared [as they pumped me up full of pills for my own safety]. I did little things now and then, only because I believe that my love for art, my desire, ME...will never die. Yet I feel that I cannot draw, cannot do this art stuff [that I am not worthy enough to hold such a pure, holy tradition] so I should just......STOP. In the days that I did no art, I just laid there in the abyess of my mind, couldn't stay awake, couldn't go to sleep...no energy, no thoughts. I felt completely hollow, empty......as if my core, my life was ripped from me. [And the worst thing, I could not do the one thing that I wanted to do, though it was a morbid kind of art]. These days have been hell for me. I wish they would end...but they cannot end. Either I run away, continue this living hell, or go back and deal w/ the massive debt. I'm considering with the latter, because I will be going for my dreams (though as impossible as it may seem). Yet, I am scared to go back. I'm terrified. I'm scared of the debt, I'm scared of the responsiblity I will have to burden, the bills, school, whether or not I can keep up with my grades, my art, I'm scared of meeting new peoeple, of having to have contacts, to keep this up......But its either that, or be a petty housewife, or to hide for the rest of my life stuck in limbo like this. God, I pray you do not forsaken me.

    Song: "Do Or Die" -Papa Roach

    Today I saw my hero fall apart,
    The one who taught me to be strong,
    On the outside I look fine,
    But on the inside I am dying
    My strength has overcome my pain
    My love for you remains the same
    The loneliness is setting in
    I have no one to free my sins

    It's never too late to live your life,
    The time is now, it's do or die
    It's never too late to live your life,
    The time is now, it's your to mine

    Now it's my time to help you out,
    Coz you were there when I was down,
    It's hard for me to seal this way
    Losing all your sanity
    You helped me, keep my dreams alive ,
    Without you how would I survive
    It's time for me to be a man
    Now I finally understand

    It's never too late to live your life,
    The time is now, it's do or die
    It's never too late to live your life,
    The time is now, it's your to mine

    It's never too late to live your life,
    The time is now, it's do or die
    It's never too late to live your life,
    The time is now, it's your to mine

    I cant run anymore
    I cant hide anymore
    I cant run anymore
    I cant hide anymore

    Today I saw my hero fall apart,
    The one who taught me to be strong,
    On the outside I look fine,
    But on the inside I am dying

    It's never too late to live your life,
    The time is now, it's do or die
    It's never too late to live your life,
    The time is now, it's your to mine

    It's never too late to live your life,
    The time is now, it's do or die
    It's never too late to live your life,
    The time is now, it's your to mine

    It's never too late to live your life,
    The time is now, it's do or die
    It's never too late to live your life,
    The time is now, it's your to mine

    I cant run anymore
    I cant hide anymore
    I cant run anymore
    I cant hide anymore

    Yeaaaahh ]]>     *Neverdiex