http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Nightwingstar&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Nightwingstar en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 20 Dec 2009 16:37:55 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/27438876/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/27438876/ Sat, 26 Sep 2009 23:16:55 PDT
In other news, I don't know if you guys know but I have two laptops. My awesome brand new mac that keeps me company and makes me think of home and my 10 year old Windows laptop who is awesome 'cause he's survived so long without being updated. My mac is my everyday, everything computer aka Ambassador of Fun computer and my Windows is my concentration computer. All my essays, stories, important trains of thoughts are on that laptop. Unfortunately my Windows laptop's not working, with all my stories with the most recent updates ever. I'm missing the characters in my stories as the screen just shows me the black screen of death. I miss Adelaide, Alex, Jeff, Vera, Danny, Peter, Aldine, Max, Fang, Iggy, Jarred, the twins, and more. I miss Adelaide because she's most like me and her character makes me look forward to the future. I miss Alex because he's the most selfless bittersweet person I've ever created. Vera and Danny, they were so close! Peter is a unique soul with Aldine as his 'I'm seventeen with newly found dreams' best friend. Peter wants Aldine to be his Wendy but that wouldn't be a fair story, since the two don't really end up together in the real story... I can get the data off of the Windows but I have to wait until the 9th. What's unfortunate is that I'm lonely for Adelaide now... I'm lonely for Alex's kind and understanding smile. I'm lonely for Peter's silence but his presence gives the feeling of the ultimate friendship.

I'll try and post some of my crafts and assignments since I'm kept busy in my art classes. Until then, I'm going back to my lonely dorm room with a bed that should have never been a bed. Silly Dorm Rooms.

If you wanna talk, draw with me, or whatever I'm here.

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/26860783/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/26860783/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 16:41:51 PDT
My first class of the day involved us being kicked out of the classroom and then being put back in said classroom halfway through the class. My second was pretty fun, it's called Design 1. Yeah. So I went to go buy my art supplies and guess how much? $100 big ones not including tax. Eep.

So the reason I'm telling you to call me Rudolph is 'cause my nose is insanely painful. It's beet red. It's been that way for the past couple of days. So yeah, my first day of school and my nose looks like it's been sunburned and swollen. gah.

So now that I'm in college I'm curious (well not that it's just because I'm in college) how's everyone doin'?

Adieu
Nightwing

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/26488539/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/26488539/ Sun, 09 Aug 2009 17:05:06 PDT
I love my home, don't get me wrong but I'm slowly feeling like this isn't home. It's not a place I could return to comfortably. Downstairs is a silently designated 'mom's room'. the colors are a dark warm, not so much as inviting but it embraced my mom's asian heritage. I respect that. It was a place you could curl up on the couch whether or not it was cold outside. It was comfy.

Upstairs was like that too, comfy I mean, but it slowly began to change. The Entertainment room is more of my Dad's room and my mom's office was decorated to look like the beach. Ok, fine. But the Children's retreat became an extension of her office. It was no longer a child's retreat but my mother's with a corner for the ghost of what the room was.But that's not exactly true either. What I say is a ghost is just a computer and a printer. The books we were going to display in this room, she wants only the ones she approves of to be up and put the others in decorative boxes. I know she wants this place to look clean all the time but she's taking away our room. No that's not right, my room, my sister's fine with the change. She loves it.

I don't like it. I hate the beach. I hate the color white. I only like it in small doses. I dislike brown unless it's on trees/wood. The blue on the walls makes me think I'm being swallowed by the ocean. I don't like this room I'm sitting in anymore. It makes me uncomfortable, like I can't breathe. I say that and I get played the 'you're not even gonna be here card'. But it means a lot to Mom. She can relax here. I can deal with it but how she can relax here is beyond my comprehension. It makes me want to scream.

You have to understand why I'm so unsettled by this room. Why it bothers me so much I'm crying 'cause I miss the old room so much. And it's easy enough to explain.I associate specific feelings or actions or whatever to the colors in my mind. there are some that appropriately general and some may surprise you.

We'll start with yellow and go clockwise.

yellow - it's a bittersweet color like blue. It's abrasive and sharp. the brighter it is the more one wants to look away. the darker it is the more it's like the taste of honey to me. Thick, sticky, and far from sweet. It's more bitter but hopeful as if wanting attention.

Green - I hate this color unless it's in nature. It calls out jealousy, it's bitter like blue and yellow but never sweet. it reminds me of disgusting things. It is the most unnatural color in the world unless it's in plant life.

Blue - bittersweet like yellow. It's sad but calming. It's a push and pull color. Sometimes I can stare at this color and be fine but other times it reminds me of the ocean or deep and dangerous water. It makes me feel helpless and scared but can turn around and be snug and inviting like the sky.

Violet/Purple - rumored to be my color, the color of my personality. It's the color of pain, of bruises one is never sure will heal properly. It contains the startling warmth and mild confidence of red but the sadness of blue.

Red - a powerful color. It's the color of hatred and love. The color of confidence but also the color of blood. it is a dynamic color; it is ( for a fact) the most unnatural color here. You can only see it in nature if you catch the sun setting or rising. Only if a dreadful fire flames up during the day or a campfire lights up at night. You can only see it on a select number of flowers in comparison to the others. if a taste would come to mind with the color red, it would surprisingly be caramel. Most caramel I've had has a a smoky taste beneath it's sweetness. it's sticky and thick like yellow but enjoyable.

Orange - we know that nothing rhymes with orange and it's just about as rare in nature as red. To me, Orange is a 'whoops' color. The color of unintentions, abrasive and defensive. It's the color of fighting, of yelling, but it chokes back the color of red because there is a part of yellow that tells the red 'it's not supposed to be this way'. It's a muted anger where yellow is the voice of reason and red wants to break all hell loose.

Brown is the color of death. I know this may surprise you but think about it. When trees die, they don't change color. When we die we become earth, earth is dirt, and dirt is brown. It's very difficult to sway brown into a warm or cool tone, it's a neutral tone. To be neutral is to not have an opinion, to not be here nor there, no specific characteristics. You're just there like a stick on the ground, a squashed bug, or a person who just stopped living. Brown is... ]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/25940088/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/25940088/ Tue, 14 Jul 2009 10:52:22 PDT
I want to see what's so awesome about these new stories that makes one forget the pillar authors. I know, sounds weird but I wanted to become a pillar author in the MR fanfiction. What am I saying, you guys might not know what a pillar author is. It's an author that was there in the beginning, where almost all inspirations for the fanfiction come from. It's an author who raised the bar for all incoming authors, they're the ones that made you want to write so well because they did. Myrah's like the god pillar ([link]) but there are so many others like, acavoo ([link]), Illa Scriptor ([link]), Supergirrl ([link]), and so much more! There are parts of me that think towards the end I was considered a pillar author and if I am, that'd be awesome. I'd like to be known for that. But the pillar authors don't write so much anymore, so they're not as well known anymore. Most of them have left because of the preteen mush, and I half want to leave as well but I enjoy the fandom too much. So I'm determined to bring the pillar authors back to their former glory but it's very hard with my schedule, the preteen writing, among other things. I feel like I'm getting too old for it but I don't want to stop writing. It just seems like I'm far too tired to battle for quality because most writing seems to be lacking that nowadays. And I know my writing lacks that as well.

So I posted my 3 year anniversary today in the MR fanfiction! Here's my anniversary story list:
This Years: Differently: [link]
Last Years: Time Is On Our Side: [link]
1st anniversary: Man In The Moon: [link]
My first ever MR fanfiction: Let Me Fall: [link]

Isn't that kinda cool that I've stuck with it for so long? *sigh* Last year was when it started getting wonky there.

Anyway, The MR Fanfiction Awards! Please nominate people! Especially Myrah! It'd be awesome if I managed a few myself but I kind of want to get nominated by my own words. I mean, my one shot Deeper still gets an insane amount of reviews despite it's old age of 3 years. 60 reviews... astounding.

So nominate whoever and vote! The MR Fanfiction Awards: [link]

Adieu
Nightwing

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/25649469/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/25649469/ Tue, 30 Jun 2009 11:14:53 PDT
Anyway, you'll never guess what I'm going to have in the coming week.

Bifocals.

Eighteen and I need to have bifocals, I feel like such a granny.

*sigh* you win some, you lose some.

Any ideas of what I should do? Like maybe draw for this: [link] but maybe not 'cause it maybe an 'awesome friend rig'. And then people will call shinnanigans if they can spell it right... Maybe I'll draw for it anyway and not follow her rules, yay immediate disqualification!!! I <3 you ruretto!

I'm attempting to be more active on fanfiction.net. I'm beta-ing and writing again. I need some new chapters up...

Anyway, how's your summer?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/25288264/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/25288264/ Sat, 13 Jun 2009 09:38:21 PDT
Most of my story ideas evolve from it because as much as I try to think outside the box I clutch to reality too much. There's a story that starts this unforgivable war based off of Einstein's quote:

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

I have stories that form after World War III that would cause World War IV to be fought with sticks and stones. I dunno...

World War III is something unimaginable, something that will never be worth fighting for, something I believe will start in the coming years. We're a little late for an all out hate war aren't we? It's been over 50 years...

So... what's your opinion about our lovely overdue WWIII?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/25279060/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/25279060/ Fri, 12 Jun 2009 18:50:48 PDT
aka two new copics and

132 PRISMACOLOR COLORED PENCILS!

Thank my aunts for the gloriousness!

Really excited, my graduation party is tomorrow too...

gotta go, dinner's ready

Adieu
Nightwing

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/25169767/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/25169767/ Sat, 06 Jun 2009 21:59:16 PDT
1. It was yellow
2. My dad pulling his shoe boxes and famous leather backpack from the closet on moving day.
3. The giant window in our (my sister's and mine) bedroom where I used to dream of Godzilla's foot being outside of it. T'was scary.

There are vague memories of the backyard but only 'cause of the photos of my childhood. Had I not seen these photos then I would not have remembered, so it doesn't count.

My memories began in Goletta Court.

On moving day it was sunny at Cobbob but it was storming at Goletta. I remember sitting in the Camry, Shado between my sister and I. It was scary 'cause it was pelting rain so hard I could hardly see the blue on the house. When I got into the house I remember the candle being lit above the mantle... and that's when my days in Goletta began.

Goletta is my favorite house, possibly because my real memories began there but it's my home. It held a fence that had a peep hole where Shado poked his nose through whenever we left and whenever we came back home. There was a cubby where I would sit 'cause it was always comfy. There was a honeysuckle plant that was more like a cave/pathway to a magical place. It was the place where it first 'snowed', it was the place I had nightmares of the Joker coming through the air vents. It's where Lola, my rabbit, is buried.

Right now Goletta looks so weather worn. The white paint is chipped and almost stained gray, while the fond baby blue paint is so faded it's no longer blue. The tree is has been cut down, the bushes have been removed....

It's been almost 9 years since I've moved to my current home. I love it to death but I'll always know Goletta as a home I could return to. Probably because it felt like I could never stop exploring that place.

*sigh* I dunno, we were talking about our old homes today so I thought I'd share.

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/25127565/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/25127565/ Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:22:16 PDT
Class of '09 James Bowie High School

Graduating with:

The Distinguished plan

and

National Arts Honor Society

Whoot!

Wish me luck! I don't want to trip like my sister did! (it's okay if I do, she's still adorable)

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/24926070/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/24926070/ Sun, 24 May 2009 14:34:29 PDT
BTW, if anyone is looking to do trades and the like please contact me I'm up for anything at the moment.

OH!!!!!! Graduating next Thursday, I'll try to get a piece out for it! Oh, I can imagine it now, yay!!!!

Mmm, so there's a retirement party for my superintendent this week, I get to miss the whole day for it, I'm gonna ask Cale, Katrinick, and Hayden if they want to go to DQ or Jim's afterwards as a customary "let's hang out after the performance" deal.

Uhh.... letssee, going to Texas Tech, my Dad bought me a new house key with Tech on it, go raiders! Haha, kidding, I'm not much for school spirit; though I am looking forward to going on weekend roadtrips to Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico.

Uh, I'm working on my sculpture project (due this Friday) I'll post pictures when it's done ^^

I'm practicing drawing peoples faces (aka Hayden and Cale). Memo to self: rockerchic's b-day is June 7th. I'm creating amazing graduation presents for my used to be Edward, Hayden, Cale, and . I don't think I'm going to give any more out (especially since the tape I'm getting is EXPENSIVE) yeah....

Gotta go, feel free to message me, conversation is ideal ^^

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/24100844/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/24100844/ Mon, 06 Apr 2009 19:22:28 PDT is just so High
and I'm so Tired
C'mon look me in my bloodshot eyes
the clouds are all on fire"

I'm tired, when I get excited I get shot back down. School/life feels like it's going downhill in a car I can't stop that's heading straight into a never ending moving train but the following day I feel like I'm at the top of the hill again, teetering, scared like crazy.

I never told you guys, I got into another 'accident' March 29th-ish. More of a love tap between two cars, no damage between both cars (well there's significant damage to mine compared to hers... aka hers was a dirt scuff) and she calls more than a week later saying 1: The accident happened on March 31st (while I was in school mind you) 2: There's a huge dent in it 3: Demanding information from me while she gives me none.

As if. I like fair trades.

So I'm in trouble for that 'cause this woman is claiming I rammed into her car for no apparent reason. She cracked my wheel case! That costs over 500 dollars to replace! *shakes fist angrily*

*sigh* whatever.

Then college, don't get me started. I've been told (for the record first by my mom, second by my dad, third by my counselor) for the past few weeks it was an open house on Friday at the college I want to go to so my family and I are all like 'cool, we can just show up and go' but turns out, admitted students had to register. The session is full. And now it's all my fault. They're mad at me right now and I can't look them in the eye.

It seems like I'm making mistakes left and right, Statistics, my car, my speeding ticket, my college, my music, and my speech. It's mortifying to me because I'm doing my best and all I have in front of me is one failure after another and my parents see that too.

It's tiring 'cause it's the thing I'm most afraid of, their disappointment in me. They see me as the problem child and I don't cause most of the problems, I try to avoid creating problems for them, they shouldn't have the need disappointed in me or my sister so I'm ashamed, so much I want to cry 'cause I don't know how I'll face them.

There's never enough time and at the same time there's too much time, the world is going too fast and at the same time far too slow... I'm expecting to wake up one day and time would just stop moving but at the same time I'm expecting to wake up and I'll look outside and the would be painted red.

When I think about it, the smiles aren't as full as they used to be... I'm not as whole as I used to be and at the same time, I've never really ever been this whole...

I know I'm a good actress because I (although I speak the truth as much as possible aka 90% of the time) am a hypocritical, low self-esteemed person who believes in too many dreams and tucks them far away where you can't see them...

I am a bitterly spiteful person who is short tempered and often too afraid to say what she wants to say. I am a person who needs people to go at my pace and I will selfishly keep you by my side until I push you away. I am a person who likes to pretend, who tries her best when silently screaming 'notice me'.

I am a bitterly spiteful person who has too many dreams to tackle, with limited sleep to tuck them away, too many hours have rimmed my eyes red, a body that aches to move because it is trapped... And pretending that these dreams can run like wild, that these opportunities people lay before me are possible, and that I'm not the tiniest bit afraid of the outcome is my greatest acting feat yet.

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/23993940/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/23993940/ Tue, 31 Mar 2009 20:32:14 PDT
In my steel drum class we're learning Steel Band Bacchanal which is really this:
[link]

You really only have to listen to it. We're supposed to be playing it at that tempo by April 14th so... in two weeks. Great... I find it funny that our class asked for a challenge, each on our respected pans and we get switched around so it makes it harder. I asked for harder music on bass, they put me on lead which (mind you) is the really fast notes and is also 5x harder than bass. But I'm surviving with all the other people who were given weird parts. I'm actually one of the best lead players (2nd best out of 4 leads). But if you hear all the crazy notes in the music, that's me.

It was funny too, I got my teacher off of teaching us music in Steel Drums for roughly 15 minutes total after she claimed I was the ring leader of all the chaos in Steel Drums. I argued it was partly true and I don't usually start things, my co-captain of steel drums does and we pull our closest friends with us. But I told her I was the second most innocent out of our group of friends (I'm technically the most) after she claimed Alex being the most innocent. I have a group of 5 friends (including me) that hangs out in that class. We rank from who actually creates the most mischief to who creates the least from here:

1. Hayden (<- co-captain)
2. Me (<- co-captain)
3. Cale
4. Alex
5. Anysa

While who gets blamed for things and/or noticed for their mischief:

1. Hayden (of course btw, if you're wondering this is the guy from The Art of Smiling)
2. Anysa
3. Cale
4. Alex
5. Me

My teacher's ranking of mischief creators (there's a wild card category):

1. Hayden (I wonder why? Pfft, no)
2. Jacob (he's pushing this whole "we need bandannas and Steel Pan Experience" stuff)
3. Cale (why is Cale always 3? He claimed innocence since it's his first year) interchangeable with 4
4. Me (I make minor trouble and have a way with convincing adults and she knows it) interchangeable with 3
5. Anysa (she gets in trouble for other peoples mistakes. She makes little mischief)
6. Alex (he commits mischief but he does it with the aid of Hayden so 98% of the blame goes to Hayden)

It was a funny off-topic argument. Anysa brought in the racial stuff for a bit, we blamed baritones, and blamed it on her choice in leadership (discreetly, see the rank of actual creation of mischief), etc. Hayden and I switched the blame to everyone who made the "teacher's ranking of mischief creators" as they tried to switch it back to us. It was mainly an argument between Hayden, the teacher, and myself but it was hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing in comparison to my 5th period class where I wasn't allowed to laugh as the plaster set...

So that's all I have to say for now, I'm drawing, watercoloring, sculpting, writing, and studying like crazy so:

Adieu
Nightwing

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/23424321/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/23424321/ Thu, 26 Feb 2009 21:15:10 PST
Lets see if I can try to explain this because what I'm attempting to talk about is body language. Anyone familiar with it? It's okay if you're not or if you are.

Lets start with facial expressions, they are the easiest of all to read because we are taught to look at faces, not the body. Your mouth and eyebrows give your every expression away, even if it's a microemotion. The mouth is the most fascinating out of the two. You see when you're obviously disgusted, angry (like you're yelling), upset, or rather any emotion that makes you want someone or somethings to stay away you tend to bear your canines, a common animalistic feature. When you smile kindly, one tends to smile just wide enough to show their canines but not the tips, giving a soft appeal to how they look at another. If one smiles bearing their canines they often look in pain, planning mischief, or forced; all of the previous reasons a turn off or a reason to stay away from them. The canines, if you think about it with all animals, make the difference from being friendly and being frightening; and though we're human we still revert to animalistic things like the way we smile.

It's actually fascinating, you know, to watch the body rather than the faces to discover what a person is and how they're feeling. I would tell you more but I've run out of time but take the time to look how someone carries their shoulders, how they step, how their hip shifts, how they stand, and you can discover a variety of things and they are all amazing.

Adieu
Nightwing

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/23314140/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/23314140/ Fri, 20 Feb 2009 20:56:32 PST
And it's cute when you have the strong heroine (typically a klutz, 'cause every heroine needs a flaw)talking to a male rival/challenge (aka love interest) and as she turns to leave she trips and he saves her from falling on her face by pulling her back up by her backpack. She's embarrassed he pulled her in such a childish way but thankful nonetheless, in a way it was comforting to know someone was looking out for her...

Granted I'm strong (but I have trouble standing up for myself) and I'm a major klutz, only a fraction less of a klutz than my sister which means I'm pretty bad. He's one of my friends, not a love interest, and I was pulling away from a hug when I tripped. Yes I did almost fall on my face, and yes, he pulled me up by the handle of my backpack. It's embarrassing but comforting. I think it's cute. It has totally been a story before, if not, I'll make sure it will. *shrugs* It's a dorky thing to do but dorky things are often the coolest things you can ever do for a girl. ^^

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/23056782/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/23056782/ Sat, 07 Feb 2009 08:54:30 PST
I'm going with my Dad to ikkicon and we're going to throw a Filipino party!!!!

Hope you guys have an awesome day!!!!!!!!!

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/22769285/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/22769285/ Fri, 23 Jan 2009 20:24:27 PST
Of course not in the physical sense.

I say allergic reaction because I remembered mine last night. Though I'm not insanely allergic to Aspartame, its effects are immediate and it's sickening, to the point I struggle to even think. I want to throw up, my throat burns, the room spins and I can only pretend everything's okay. I don't swell up but I do get occasional hives, and even that brings misery but I'm getting off track, why an allergic reaction?

I never patched things up with my friend, if we're still friends, and I don't even regret it. If we see each other, I have the sudden urge to act like I don't know her but I don't, I greet her, even in passing, or stay to talk but when we talk she complains with no room for me to even say anything but the small nudges for her to continue "uh huh" "yeah" "sure" "And?" "I understand". Friendships are supposed to be give and take relationships. You give up your problems and take your friend's and vice versa. You share your problems, she blows them off. And I don't mean to be rude to her but I find it even harder to patch things up when she has no respect for her authority figures/elders. Disrespecting my mother is one of the last things a friend should do. And I hate it, I find it like an allergic reaction, that as much as I want to be her friend she just leaves me angry in the end. She doesn't treat her friends very well unless they're the type to follow her like a lost puppy and who would want to do that? She likes to be in control, she likes to be right, and I know, who doesn't? But she won't listen to reason and it's her way until there's no longer a loophole she can defy. She has no respect, she has no manners (just common courtesy!), and wasteful. Oh, I don't mean to be mean to her here, I don't mean to be mean at all, I just... no I don't regret... I enjoyed being her friend really. But the way I have been, the things I overlooked with her, and the way I enjoy being most, I would regret even being an acquataince had I just met her. And it makes me kind of sad, because we were good friends, we were best friends but enough is enough. Bullies are not welcome.

Speaking of patches, I hate being the patch to my family. Are any of you younger siblings? "Don't make the same mistake we made with your sister." "You don't want the same thing to happen as your sister!" The family is so busy trying to make sure I'm not going to be like my sister that they forget I'm her opposite, that I am a different person, that I'm not her trying for the second time. This is like a heartache, a stomachache really, because as much as I know how much they care for me, it's not my life they're trying to make me live, it's her life just patching up the holes. I'm tired of that so could we stop? Can't I live my own life? At my own pace? My family has let me have a choice in my decisions for school so far... why does this have to be any different?

What's a coma to you? I'm curious because of what I think a coma is. To me, a coma is an escape, it's a sleep you can go to when your body is both physically and mentally worn. The coma is to provide you a chance to heal, shutting out the world around you, your own 'me time'. A coma tells the world your sick doesn't it? When you don't wake up, doesn't that mean something's wrong? You guys remember your first labor intensive day, you worked hard and passed out (maybe even overslept) from exhaustion. Waking up at noon when you went to bed at nine, that type of deal, only longer because the mental mind is slower to heal...

*sigh* I dunno, I'm a little strained, mentally and physically. There's (unfortunately) boy problems, steels drums (where songs are physical workouts), a crap load of art commissions for school, Stats, work (I sooo wanna quit but I can't or rather shouldn't), oh see, I'm complaining too now. Damn, now I'm sick of myself.

Anyway, this wasn't a required read but... I want to hear from you. How are you? Do you have any problems you need to share? How's school? Your art? Your writing? Your photography? Your job? How's your car if you have one? ...just, how are you?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/22550057/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/22550057/ Mon, 12 Jan 2009 18:39:16 PST
Anyone hear of Dismantle.Repair by Anberlin? [link]
This deals with the Patron Saint I'm talking about, the Patron Saint of Lost Causes. Can you believe that? They have a saint of lost causes! Anyway, that's not why I'm talking about Patron Saints, you see I'm writing a story, a story I have every intention of finishing because I have Sami behind me on this. She really wants me to publish a book and this one is so me ... It's kind of science fiction, it's romance, it's supernatural, it's everything. It has to deal with the Dead War, ghosts, the concept of death that no one really goes into, it's entirely improbably but at the same time entirely possible. Right now I'm debating the title: Patron Saint of Lost Causes or Half? If you want more info send me a note, it's actually exciting, I think there's going to be at least 20 chapters...

Going along with the Patron Saint I have a favor to ask of all who's willing. I need help character designing, as in typical outfits, what a certain person wears absolutely all the time, and I'm wondering if anyone would be willing to do some sketches with me. I'm concerned about one of the main character's because his clothes will reflect his personality... help please? Please note me about this too, you'll have to know about the story to be able to understand what I'm looking for.

Birthdays.... My sister's was yesterday! ANNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDD I'm Feb. 7th!!!! Yep! Right smack dab in the middle of Ikkicon!!!!! I'm so excited I finally convinced someone to make me a Danny Phantom plush for my bithday!!! He's going to be so adorable and so soft and cuddly! And he's going to have Sam Manson too! ^^ That's going to be one of the most amazing birthday gifts ever!

A quick survey before I go:

Which type of party would you prefer?
1. A Filipino Party (aka a typical party in the Philippines with a few exceptions, such as a dance becomes a game.)
Or
2. A place where you can bowl, play lazer tag,etc?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/22494642/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/22494642/ Fri, 09 Jan 2009 19:47:46 PST
• Make an outline, a book is just like a speech (hello my name is, I’m going to talk to you about, go into topics, tie it together for the conclusion, goodbye)
• Make a challenge for each chapter (for example, each chapter must be at least 7 pages long)[or 3k words for me]
• Don’t keep all the secrets, answer the questions when you start the book (what’s going on? Who are these people? Why do they know each other? What’s going to happen? Dude it’s like Shakespeare!) Though you may know everything it’s not good to keep all the secrets and throw it all in at the end.
• Don’t freak out about the middle, the middle will form (sometimes you need kill time chapters in a book)
• Keep yourself interested, find new things to add while still keeping the original plot of the story, make it more symbolic and still an enjoyable read.
• Make it flow. ( like Shakespeare!)
• Reread your work, fix it if needed, see previous bullet.


The Shakespeare thing has to deal with Hamlet, the play I'm currently reading. Shakespeare explains everything you're asking at the beginning of Hamlet and Shakespeare is very fluid in his work.

Well, I gotta go, one of my new years resolution is to finish this book.

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/22344168/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/22344168/ Thu, 01 Jan 2009 23:02:26 PST
Someone be a dork with me damnit!!!!!

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/22266588/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/22266588/ Mon, 29 Dec 2008 18:29:28 PST
There are times I say stuff on my mind but everyone takes it as if I'm joking around but I'm actually worrying... And it's usually me saying "Don't leave me behind"

I'm a little but at the same time really blunt. My thoughts are blunt but I never say it because blunt things are often the most embarrassing, selfish, rude, and etc. We were all blunt once, after all we were all children once, and it is often the blunt (simple) things that make all the difference. I thought about that all Christmas.

For Christmas my family asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I could have asked for a thousand things, a new computer, a lightbox, my car fixed (I dented it if I didn't already tell you), an amazing camera, new furniture for my bare room, CD's, books filled with Fairy Tales, and so much more but most of them were expensive and most of them were minor wants if not (future) needs that could wait until later. And I find it so astonishing that my favorite gift given to me was probably one of the cheapest, a sock monkey. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that kind of stupid? I got a lot of CD's, I got Smashbrothers, I got a new phone, I recieved so much and my favorite was a sock monkey. It was simple, gifts never have to be complicated but the Christmas season always seems like it has to be. But then again it might just be us.

And then I realized the simple things are often the hardest things to give or get.

I mean think about it, when we were little balloons made our day, a simple "good job" brightened the world, your security blanket was the stuffed animal you carried around everywhere but that's all too young for us now. A brand new diamond necklace will do for that good job, or that stupid balloon, there's no such thing as a security blanket and frankly, I think that's just plain stupid.

My biggest regret on the Macy's trip was that I never went to a flower shop in New York. That was the only thing I wanted from there. (That's a lie, I wanted to just set foot inside Central Park, that was denied too) We passed so many on the busses but we never went to buy a blue rose but how stupid is that? When the rest of your group wants to go shopping for I <3 NY shirts or go to Tiffany's or other places like that when in New York who in their right mind would want to go to a flower shop?! It's so plain, there's plenty back home, that's just stupid. But I wanted to and yet that would be so selfish of me and we couldn't have that. I mean you don't know how excited I'd be if you just gave me a balloon, really? Me? Who would give a balloon to me?

Being blunt and being simple is just being a child. Children are ignorant or innocent, they don't know a lot or if they do they decide not to think anything of it. And when I was writing a few months ago I kept using the word 'burned' but I never understood why until now. I would say "and it burned" as if I had just placed my hand on a hot skillet or a fire roaring just inches from my face, the feeling of needing to withdraw instantly, a feeling of being hurt and disappointment, but like a child 'burned' bluntly came to mind. The word I was desperately looking for was 'ashamed', the burning flush on your cheeks, the feeling of need to run away and forget all lies in 'ashamed' but which word got to the point faster and which one was the easiest to understand?

I honestly don't know where I'm getting at anymore, I'm letting this out so my mind can clear for a bit. But I hope you guys know, when you leave comments on my work no matter how small it makes my day. After all, it is the simplest thing like the sock monkey right beside me.

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/22017699/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/22017699/ Tue, 16 Dec 2008 15:11:28 PST
I feel really stupid in saying this that often "Do as I say, not as I do" thing. You shouldn't be afraid to ask help from teachers, I mean that's what they're there for. They're not playing favorites, it's just that those students are more outgoing and demand attention. Don't forget you can demand it too... I'm still scared like s*** to ask my Stats teacher for help, yeah it's that bad, but she's helping me, she'll come to my side and ask if I need help and I can turn around and ask her. But if you're still afraid, like me, just take a deep breath and take it a day at a time. Any trouble you have, it's not going to just go away so just take a deep breath and just go as far as you can go. If you can only go as far as walking up to the problem today okay, trying go a bit farther tomorrow, it's a day at a time, a step at a time. Lets try our best, okay?

At a new train of thought I'm drawing again, trying new styles, new techniques, new virtually everything thanks to . I mean I look at my work and say "Man this needs to flow/move a lot more" 'cause my figures always look stiff, so I'm trying stuff ruretto's way, lets give it a go!

I'm writing too and I'm noticing that since I've stopped writing my language has become less than acceptable, likewise with my writing, it's an abomination.

And because of writing I'm putting this in a lot of places "revisiting old dreams". The dreams forgotten, lost, hidden, needing to be found. I forgot my style, I forgot everything, even how to think like my characters, I forgot how they feel like when they're happy, sad, and everything! So when I revisit old dreams it's like curling up into your favorite book, so worn it's nearly falling apart, smiling as you remember your old thoughts as you read it the times before. I remember every train of thought when I reread my stories, the excitement, the thrills, laughter, and every person I've ever thought of... their own separate personalities just fragments different from my own.

Ah... I'm running out of time, Macy's will have to come another time again, I needed to talk, you know how it is, right?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/21751822/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/21751822/ Sun, 30 Nov 2008 15:49:44 PST
I remember walking through the Arlington National Cemetery, it felt like I was dreaming and at the same time it was so alive. I gripped myself tighter than anyone around me, my mind screaming to the graves "I'm sorry" and "Thank you" with my belief the dead can hear my thoughts. And all the while I felt myself getting warmer as I walked immersed in guilt, imagining the brave soldiers in their graves giving me a helping hand silently whispering "shh, shh, it's okay."

All the while I was there, staring at the graves, I felt I didn't belong. My heritage never set foot in a majority of these wars. World War II maybe and perhaps Desert Storm or Vietnam but never once was as brave as the soldiers sleeping beneath the earth.

And yet, as the band headed towards the tomb of the unknowns, I was in awe. Every grave I looked at a brave soldier sat on top of it, waving, tipping their hat, smiling, crying, waiting for someone to greet them. How long have these soldiers been here? Aren't they lonely? And I imagined a very brave girl talking to the graves everyday... laughing quietly to them, describing the world, and keeping the graves clean... all the while the soldiers joined in on her conversation despite the fact she could never hear them. I would like to talk to the graves, give my respects and tell them how I wish I knew them, I would like to keep their graves clean to make sure respecting them is not a duty but an honor, but... that would be very difficult because I don't have right, rather honor, to stand in front of those graves... I have never once been brave like they have...

So I go back to dreaming, where I believe they can hear all I have to say, where I can see them sitting on top of their headstones, where someone comes to keep them company everyday, and maybe have the honor of coming back again...

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/21573697/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/21573697/ Wed, 19 Nov 2008 21:14:33 PST
Here's my take on gay rights, it doesn't even mention gay rights in it but it's implied:

"Promise me you'll never deny my rights to be human."

It's unfortunate though, I've already received a retort to my statement:

"The Constitution never said you had the right to be human."

...and that just makes me sad...

So what's your take on gay rights? I find it cruel to deny one's love for another despite being the same sex, I dislike the fact that people discriminate against gays as if they were the new race to blame (previously African Americans and Hispanics) for all the problems, and it's not fair. If I can love someone, why can't they? If I can be human, why do they have to fight for that right?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/21540509/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/21540509/ Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:53:50 PST
Now we all know not all coloring books are amazing so I'm planning on making my own before I leave. So I'm asking everyone (well everyone who reads this) to find good lineart for me to print out, send me the link, anything! I'll be excited for anything, I'm experimenting with different ways to color (Thank Jane).

So yeah, if you find amazing lineart please send it to me, preferably Danny Phantom, D. Grayman, Avatar, but if not I'm up for whatever.

Thanks so much!

Adieu
Nightwing

btw, the quote of the day is: "OMG IT'S HANA LEE!"

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/21395683/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/21395683/ Sat, 08 Nov 2008 21:21:20 PST
*I have joined NAHS! It's epic, I'll upload some of my works for it
*I'm starting to write again, it's amazing, I've missed this flow of words running through my mind. I've missed my fingers on the keyboard and that annoyance in the back of my mind if I misspelled a word. I've missed it all
*WE GOT 4TH AT BOA!!!!!!
*WE GOT 5TH AT STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (but unfortunately still lost to Cedar Park)
*I cried at my senior goodbyes
*Holy crap I'm a Senior!
*I'm writing a set of short stories to compliment the show of "The Bells" and the poems by Edgar Allen Poe which the show was based off of.
* I may be illustrating a children's book. My Supervisor wants me to.
* I need to yell or be angry, I'm apathetic or complaining, I hate to complain. Whoops, sorry 'bout that.
*I know it's a bit late past the Bowie deadline but Monday is College Day for me, all college applications are going out then.

Updates:

I'll be posting some stuff up soon, I'm doing my best but right now I've got to focus on the important stuff... so yeah...

Macy's:

I HAVE THE MOST EPIC SPOT ON THE FIELD! Okay... 2nd most epic spot. I'm in the front of the line (the most obvious person line in Macy's, the person most exposed) and I bring up the rear of the block! I'm the front of the last row!!

Ex: ***********************
***********************
***********************
***********************
*********************** <- me

I'll be gone for 10 days but I'll attempt to use a computer to tell you of my adventures, or at least write it down.



Why I'll never have a Boyfriend:

Okay, when I'm bored and in the writing mood I tend to over analyze myself. mildly depressing I know. Every single boy I can remember liking and I believe I have the potential to like (minus one who I'll tell you about later) have the same quality that I find my flaw.

(Now for their safety and my own the boys who I mention will be mentioned only by their first letter of their first name. There will be repeated letters.)

M, C, J, C, E, G, and T all have the same quality or air about them that creates a flaw within me. I see them and want to protect them. M is still a child, who makes me guilt trip because he thinks he'll guilt trip. He forgets and he dresses kinda sloppily like he needs someone to dress him but he's good, he means well. The best intentions at heart. C was a person I related to well because he was the child (to me) that I wanted to be to my own mother and father. I wanted to protect him, like I do with all of them, hug him and have him smile for me in his own special way like a mother wants to see. J has a cute smile, he looks lost at times but he wants to prove he's strong so he ditches it as soon as possible. I'm proud of him like every parent should be, I love him as a friend but I still want to take care of him. C, well... I was confused but at the same time I didn't want him to hurt, I wanted to be the one to hold him close and tell him it was alright... but my place is not a mothers'. E, he's easy, he always had these calluses I wanted to bandage up and kiss to make better, he's kind and silly, a silly boy and I hope he never changes. G, a shy boy I want to protect but at the same time ease out of his shell, ditto for T.

Do you see my fault? I wish to be a mother to all of them, I want to protect them but that's not my place. I can protect them as a friend but not a mother, I can't be a mother hen as Hayden likes to call me.

But there is one person I don't need to mother and I know I could like him because I've liked him before (try Elementary school). He's A, I've known him forever, his sister and my sister used to be best friends. He's confident in himself and doesn't hesitate, he's strong and unafraid, kind and smart, tall... He gives the best hugs in the world. If I could get hugs from one person for the rest of my life it'd be from him. Seriously, I have a ton of people who would agree with me. But I don't need to take care of him, I can be his equal and he could even take care of me if he wanted to. But he's just a friend and I want us to stay that way.

So until I can find another guy like him and/or get over my "mother hen" complex then I'll boyfriendless till the end of my days.

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/21105600/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/21105600/ Wed, 22 Oct 2008 05:34:08 PDT
It's strange, maybe the dream was telling me we'll be good friends... Maybe it's just that time when I actually feel the pain of heartbreak because it's been almost three months, though it's really only 2 and a half. Who knows? My heart wasn't breaking but maybe it will because that was such a good dream...

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/20865733/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/20865733/ Mon, 06 Oct 2008 20:32:45 PDT
How have you been? I've been missing you guys for a bit. I'm losing touch with the online art world since I'm slowly gaining touch with the outside art world. Care to share? I'll tell you this much, as soon as I get my autumn piece back I'll post it on here, my art teacher is going to buy inks and caligraphy pens for the school just because of me and the autumn piece. Eeeps!

I've been a bit curious, seeing as I've been offered gum about 50+ times this week, how often do you chew gum? And if you chew gum period, what's your favorite? I know, I know, I'm being a bit weird but I'm allergic to about 98 percent of the gum they have at stores. So I'm curious.

Oh yeah, here's a not-so-secret thing about me. I watch Barbie movies. Yep. Yeah. Totally uncool. But it's fun. They have good childish songs, they have occasional cool characters, the Diamond Castle wasn't bad unless you count the antagonist being a complete and utter wack job (more than normal) and the two boys Barbie and her best friend falls for remind me of Fred and George and you can't help but wonder if they're truly idiots.

Up for another one? I like Hannah Montana and Jonas Brothers. Not Miley Cyrus, puleeze. Hannah Montana (though a ridiculous name)is kind of awesome. I mean, there's no "Lets be subtly sexual" stuff in it, it's like preteen inspirational songs to gain confidence. It's the kind of songs you love when you're little like the songs in Aladdin, Mulan, or Hercules. Awesome. Jonas Brothers, they're sweet, granted they're riding the Disney train and they're going to lose their fanbase as soon as Disney drops them, they have cute songs. They're not really a rock band but hey, I give them points, they have their own style.

For Band Banquet this year they should have a new category "Cutest Lips" I'm not even kidding. There are two boys who have the cutest lips that they seen almost forbidden. Maybe it's a brass player thing. But *ahem* The two I would nominate is Garrison Land (A Sophomore Drum Major that has a perfect face, he's shy, I believe available, and you sorely wish you could carve his face from marble but even marble won't do him justice) and Travis Ratliff (I'm not kidding Mama-Cat. He's a senior, like me, he has these tired eyes, he's skinny and is always surprised. I tipped his shako - big helmet like hat- to tease him and covered his eyes and nose and all that was left was his lips and the frame of his jaw and thought that ran through my mind was "Damn they're so kissable" NOT JOKING)

As for that wonderful heartbreak feeling well, I love that feeling. That ache between my shoulderblades that make me believe wings will sprout and fly me away even when I know it's just stress and lack of sleep. It makes me acknowledge I have too much on my plate because I don't want to fly away just yet, I'm not ready to leave the nest, and I'm not going leave a mess behind. It's heartbreaking to know I'll never fly but I can't help but enjoy the heavenly feeling of the invisible wings tickling my back, aching to fly, and flapping around me to create a cool breeze.

Oh yeah, how's school btw? I passed my classes, what about you?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/20712638/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/20712638/ Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:39:45 PDT
I mean, I got him last October, I didn't even own him for a whole year and now he's gone. Yeah he gave me a lot of stress, he was embarrassing, and there were a ton of times I wanted to scream my lungs out to him but you know, that's family. My whole entire family has had enough of him but it doesn't mean that I didn't get attached to him, it doesn't mean I didn't love Vegas. He was my first car... I mean, how many times am I going to name something Vegas? His name made me excited to see him whether he started or not.

I miss his thin steering wheel, the slow brakes, his slow starts, the missing cup holder, his seats, his fishbasket, the funny faces he made, and the feeling of switching the gears to drive or park, the familiar loud clicks.

Vegas was an experience. He was like family, and if you think about it, like a boyfriend. I loved him very much and I'll never see him again. I suppose I'm more upset about the fact that I don't know if he'll ever be driven again, or if he'll be sold for parts, or if there'll be someone who could take care of him more than I ever could. I hope he dies happy, I hope he doesn't just rust away, I hope he gets fixed, and I hope he laughs in the way his motor hums... I hope me leaving him makes him happy 'cause it seemed like he didn't like me...

I desperately hope you're happy Vegas 'cause I'm gonna miss you so much... I'll be telling my kids and my grandkids about you...

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/20507461/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/20507461/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:54:28 PDT
My counselors and Calculus teacher are all telling me it'll be academic suicide if I drop Calc. now. I told them I don't care, I'm not in it for the credit. I'll take it when I need it. When I know it's important to me, unlike now 'cause it all seems like unrelated crap. They tell me I'm required to take a math this year, BAH! Lies, I'm over credited, I'm not going to the demeaning and insulting Math Class for "Seniors" more like Math Class for "Kids who hate math and won't do anything at all while acting like Freshmen". They tell me I have to stick to it and that they'll call my parents in an attempt to keep me there. I told them it didn't matter if they did or not. I talked to my parents they understood my issues. My Calc. teacher didn't believe me, AND THE LOOK SHE GAVE ME! The look of disbelief, as if I'm a troublemaker. All three gave me that look, the look that makes you want to scream "That's not fair!" because it wasn't and it never was.

I rarely say "it's not fair" because I already know it isn't but I bear it. But the look! Oh it's that look that makes me want to break into hysteria, to yell, demanding they take me seriously. Do they honestly think I'm an idiot teen? Do they honestly think I CAN'T read their microemotions? I'm a pro at that. It drives me mad! That look tells me they think I'm a typical teen who says "That's not fair!" "I don't want to 'cause I don't wanna" who argues with their parents on a daily basis, who throws tantrums if little Daddy's girl doesn't get what she wants, who will ALWAYS lie through her teeth!

I'M INSULTED! PISSED! This is a disgrace! They honestly think I'm that kind of teen. I discussed my situation thoroughly with my parents, we talked for hours about it and weighed all the options. I chose my schedule last year, knowing my limits and their expectations . I overstepped my limits this time, I've never made such a mistake before but I also didn't plan on taking government this semester. But anyway I chose my schedule because I knew what I wanted and because I knew what was best for myself. And to give me the look that I'm a typical teen who doesn't know anything including what's best for me I'm insulted! All they're doing is making me push harder to drop the class.

I don't take well to insults that portray me as an incompetent fool. I'm not your typical teen, I am aware of what you teachers and "guardians of the students" are doing. You kinda really suck at it. I read microexpressions, ergo you can't hide a single emotion from me.

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/20398471/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/20398471/ Mon, 08 Sep 2008 20:22:01 PDT
I am at last in big trouble... again... because of Calculus...

I suppose it's true, if you say it first before they find out, it's not that bad... Mom and Dad weren't mad, just a little disappointed like me. I don't want to drop Calculus. I love Math. However right now they only offer it as AP. I'm not in it for the college credit, hell, I'm not even in it for the credit! I'm in it because I love math and I want to learn. But I'm lacking the time and mental capacity. With the insane amount of college scholarships I need to find and apply for, the colleges I should be writing essays for, the essays (I have to write ALL four because I have a special interest major), my government course, my english course, Band which takes up roughly 20 hours a week (including football games and actual class), art which takes up roughly 10 hours, work another 12, and school another 35. How much does that equal??? 77 hours and you're only awake for 119 hours a week... Not including errands, travel time, and other misc things. There's no time.

My Dad says Calculus is hard enough alone, that if I'm at the pace he thinks I'm at I should probably be spending about an hour of study for every thirty minutes of class. And I probably need too. He says it's hard enough to understand the first time.

Mom says it's all my Job's fault. I say it isn't, granted that is where all the time for the Calculus is but nonetheless I don't need that class. I'm over credited anyway, besides I'd rather work so I can save money for college so my family won't have to worry.

I promised them though... I'd get a workbook to learn Calculus at my own pace. You know, where it isn't AP. And if anything I'd take it during the summer but at the same time I don't want to deprive them of my last summer before college.

I thought I could handle it but I can't. I want to keep Calculus but I can't, not unless you want everything else to suffer with it, not unless you want me to fall apart.

Dad told me to see the counciler about Calculus and if there's anything I can do to make up for it. I'll do that before Dad says anything else. My Dad knows how much I want to stay in Calc but he knows how straining it is on me and I feel so bad... not being able to follow through with my plans...

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/20150132/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/20150132/ Mon, 25 Aug 2008 14:34:44 PDT
I was driving home down a country road behind my house, noticing a man attempting to fly a kite near a new subdivision. The houses, though new, gave off the feel of the old country and all of them seemed white washed against the green grass. The grass seemed stunning, a beautiful green instead of yellowed from drought, the way it flowed from its stationary spot, the way it shined from the sunlight. It was a green I thought only existed up north or even paintings. And the sunlight that graced its presence lit up the blue sky with the perfect brightness making my surroundings seem holy. The sunlight did not come with its usual friend, the unbearable heat, but with an acquaintance, a cool breeze. It shined on the trees to my left, the beautiful grass to my right, complimenting the endless black stretch in front of me, and gracing the yellowed lines. The road seemed to just go on and on and I wanted nothing more than to just cruise along in such perfect weather. As I turned onto a different street I sorely wished I could have taken a picture and I slowly saw all the flaws in the greyed road, the darkness creeping closer as the rain draws near, and sighed. Didn't Dad always tell me? It was the calm before the storm.

Did I lose you? Glad to have you back!

So yeah. First day of school.

Last night I was depressed 'cause my computer upped and died. Actually it was more like his heart stopped and I was giving him 'CPR'. It's my writing laptop, he's going to be ten in January, so you can imagine how devestated I felt if I could never write on him again. Lucky for me, this morning he came back to life!!! And that made today AMAZING.

I have no lunch so that kind of sucks, like seriously, but it went well. I snacked from 3-5. Yum, grapes and Cheezits. 1st period I sat there bored picking at my nails... I was bored... 2nd I didn't have to play 'cause I was busy making copies for everyone in band YAY! I didn't want to play today... 3rd was weird 'cause we've got my least favorite people there. And it's weird. I don't hate people but there are always those three little exceptions and their all in my class. 4th! I met a fellow deviant! We're goofing off as per usual. 5th, I felt lost 'cause I haven't fully taken art 1 yet but you know, sculpture. 6th I was late by like 5 minutes on purpose with two other friends as we gathered a shovel, bass box , and Music stand feet . Now what part of that doesn't seem weird. I'm helping Mama-Cat's son, Cale, learn how to play lead for his audition on Friday 'cause I'm exempt. 7th, is Calc. EEEPPPP but fun. I have a ton of friends there. And we're all close by too!

So homework, gotta do, gotta go to band practice (if it's not rained out), gotta pick up my check 'cause I get paid today, gotta buy stuff for band, gotta do stuff for school, need to get my rents to sign about 3-10 papers.... whoo. and all before bedtime XD

Laters

Oh yeah, I forgot to ask (I've already asked Mama-Cat this):

What would/has gone through your mind if you were pregnant with your child?

Oh! and:

Why is crab meat not red? And do you know what makes Salmon pink?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/20064744/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/20064744/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 17:34:51 PDT
Do you think I have fashion sense?

From what you know of me on the net, what race am I and what do I look like?

Do you think I'm trying too hard to be happy? (Sami thinks I am)

What's the weirdest thing you've ever done?

When you ate carrots when you were little, did you hope your hair turned red?

Do cheez-its and peanut butter go well together?

What's the most disgusting thing you ever tasted?

What's the most memorable song you've ever heard?

What's the saddest song you've ever heard?

Is 'dork' a belittling word?

Does anyone know the circumference of the moon?

Am I being too curious?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/19905500/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/19905500/ Mon, 11 Aug 2008 20:52:45 PDT
Mmm, I have a friend who likes Edward too and well, she's going out with him... Since Saturday...

Wow. I kinda saw it coming, with me saying goodbye and all.

However, since Friday I've been having this overwhelming feeling of my heart written on my sleeve in reality it's on my wrists and I've been dreaming someone grabbing them and cutting them. So I've been paranoid someone actually would.

So, breakup cupcakes. Maybe I'll say goodbye sooner, no... it doesn't matter. He's happy.

So may I say I loved you more...?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/19816642/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/19816642/ Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:00:26 PDT
I have not finished Breaking Dawn.
I need to do my book reports.
I'm at Band Camp.
I <3 Alternates/Shadows/Understudies.
I GOT A SPOT ON THE MARCHING FIELD! FLUTE 22!
Oh, and I think I'm boy crazy...

So do please enjoy my memories of the first three days of marching band.

When I think about marching band so many thoughts run through my mind. The warmth of the sun on my calf muscles, the nervous feeling of over 50 pairs of eyes behind you... My thighs stretch and make me envision violin strings connecting to my knee, waiting to be tuned and tightened. My shoulders are suddenly tennis balls and like the overly exaggerated jointed action figure. My shoulder blades are pushed back to stand tall, they itch as if wishing to sprout wings and fly. My fingers flex, nervous like mice, wanting to play, move, and yet hold up their home and place of comfort. My eyes fall on items of interests, a circle in a sea of square, a shoulder blade pulled too far back, a white hair tie in jet black hair, the blue sky in a poor attempt to find a stationary point. I remember the burn, more of the terrifying tickle of bugs on your shoulder and you want to desperately want to swat them off and get them away. Oh... The breathing... the whoosh of an exhale that relaxes the body as if I had just fallen asleep on my bed, that I was lying in a cool pool, as if my favorite dream came true... Counting, oh the laughter within it, the agressiveness, the ferocity. The emotions in counting drive me crazy, I love it. The way we count makes me think of babies, of marines, of a laughing school girl. When people count! Oh they give countless emotions. When it's all over... I'm going to miss it all...

~~~

All my love to my tired friends, the ones who fell, the ones who tried. To them I wish happiness for the love we had for that world will always be with us, even when our world was burned away in front of our eyes... - Me June '08

And the car could never go fast enough to blow away the bittersweet thoughts in her mind... - Me today

And I swear I didn't mean for it to end like this - ???

I'm happy, excited, bittersweet, sad, angry, tired and sore... and that's not fair. I was happy my mother came to the last time I would ever get chosen for a spot in the marching band, I was happy I got a spot, so... why did it become bittersweet?

Was it because of the number? No. Was it because of the many alternates in my section? A majority of it. Perhaps it was because of my little sister last year. Yes. Oh, I'm so happy for her! She got a spot this year, her pure heart makes me smile, but in a tie. And so her competitor insulted her to my face the second we got off the field. I spoke in anger saying she shouldn't insult but I was really just sad, I was hurt for my little sister. And it hurts me because I helped her grow. The first week of band camp last year I helped her march and she reminded me of bicycle pedals because she rolled her hips, not her feet. And I helped her. She's not the type to be angry if she shares a spot, she happy to have one and will always look up to the person she shares it with even when she surpasses them. Oh Nikki... I do wish you well...

~~~

A part of my is happy and sad about another thing. He doesn't know it yet but I'm going to say goodbye to my Edward. I made a bet with myself, a bet I knew I was going to lose way back in May before anything was clarified. If he doesn't ask me out by then I'm saying goodbye. I can't stay standing here waiting forever for him even if I really want to... So when I lose I'm going to say goodbye, not as friend, as a 'lover'. I can't get mad at him because he's scared, I can't get frustrated when he throws me for a loop and leads me on, when I tease him I get instantly sorry when frustration appears on his face, I want to see him and, to me, he stands out in the crowd. But I can't stay that way. I would die inside waiting for him, I'd catch a fever standing alone in that rain... I'll have to move on when I lose that bet... I wonder what he'll say when I say goodbye... I think, no I know, I'm going to say goodbye and run as fast as I can. If he wants to know why, he can find me because for once I won't explain it to him... For once I'll make him think and make him as curious as I am... And for once the one expression I've been avoiding will be made...

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/19499081/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/19499081/ Sun, 20 Jul 2008 11:50:55 PDT
The Judging is finished and I have to say, it was fun.

So... The winners!

1st:
2nd: youngraven from fanfiction.net
3rd: whatever95 from fanfiction.net

Remember the prizes:

1st Place: A story written by me of your own ideas and a drawing, cleaned and colored.
2nd Place: A short story or a drawing, colored.
3rd Place: A short story or a drawing, inked.

So be sure to Pm/note me for drawing and/or story!

~~~~
In other news, I'm in a writer's block and it's annoying. So I'm doing some character building, who I like to write about and why. I'm basically going through what I believe what type of person they will become. This is basically a leg to stand on for me and give me ideas for the future and also my firm opinion of the flock. Who's interesting and who's not. Who can develop the interesting personalities and become interesting people and who can't.

From amazing to not:

Iggy:

Iggy on my take is the most interesting character. Granted he’s overlooked and given all the lame powers like being able to see the color of something when he touches it or the ability to see if it’s on a white surface. He’s blind and his back-story to the incident is only vaguely given. I’ll have you know I’m a sucker for red hair so strawberry blonde is close enough. Granted I imagine him with more red hair than blonde. But that was a tangent, because of his specific type of hair I imagine as the type to have long hair and to pull it back into a low ponytail. His nature, due to cooking, I’d imagine would be patient and almost homey. He would be one of the last to freak out in a situation, always the trooper like the Gasman, and almost always be the most prepared. He’d be unstable in his teen years, dealing with his blindness, and when he finds himself he’ll find that his blindness is a gift, a pure and wonderful gift. Iggy will have a long face with kind blind eyes. In fact, his personality as he grows older would be the only type who can deal with Angel, hence why they make the perfect couple. I see Iggy as old fashioned, with a preference of wearing tunics than regular shirts even if it means he has to make them himself. He would prefer ¾’s sleeves; long sleeves get in the way too often while building bombs and short sleeves get on his nerves. He would probably tie a ribbon in his hair as opposed to a hair tie. He’d be about 6’5 around twenty, his personality of a friendly father figure.

Angel:

Angel is, to me, another interesting character. In the beginning I did not even like to incorporate Angel into stories because she was the spoiled one, given all the ‘goods’. But then you realize she’s not all fun and games. She hears people’s thoughts but how well can she control it? If the thoughts are strong can they penetrate through her own barrier? She would be considered the fragile child. She could pretend to be strong, she can act very well, but in reality she actually has an unstable mind. She has all these voices in her head, more than Max, and you think she’s sane? She’s six years old in the current world, with spoiled brats running amuck around the place and she wants to be normal and do the things normal kids do. Of course she’ll have the easiest time fitting in because of mind control but she’ll always feel left out. Her name doesn’t fit her personality, her wings mock her, and everything about her seems to push her to the limit. Just because her name is Angel and she was made to be one doesn’t mean she has to fit the image and she can’t seem to grasp that growing up. Perfection is her best and worst enemy. She wants to become the perfect person but she knows she’s too abnormal to fit into society. Her brother is hardly someone she can stand to be around, Nudge will talk over her too often, Max is insane herself and Fang would be no help at all. All that’s left is Iggy, down to earth Iggy. He'll be the one to hug her in her most unstable moments, when she’s trying to determine her personality from everyone else. Angel gets everything, the amazing powers and the mayhem that comes with it.



Fang:

Fang is the third interesting character within the Maximum Ride series and unfortunately the last of interesting development characters. He is just so easy to overlook and at the same time not. You know he’s just this dark figure right in front of you but that’s it. What else is there? Not this bogus stuff of “If I stay still no one can see me” ridiculousness. Personally Fang should be the true mockingbird, not Gazzy with his mocking voices trick. Because no one found anythi... ]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/19316781/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/19316781/ Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:02:52 PDT
My plan was to work on library things for band and wound up painting with my 'Edward'. That was good. When he finished working I was sketching and was thinking to myself "Damn, I need a man to stand in front of me so I can see how a shirt folds against his build." When he came out I uttered a 'hi' because he was on the phone and when he walked in my direction I waved my hands saying "No! Stop! Just stand there! Just stand there!" He stopped and looked at me like I was crazy and I sketched a couple of lines before beckoning him over. I laughed at his expression.

In the car to his house, I asked him to find my Ipod, he pulled out a book from my backpack called Owl In Love and read the first couple of sentences, his tone surprised. I laughed at his expression. He dubbed my backpack evil. At his house I played with his keyboard (it's split and that throws me off completely), took his watch while wearing a cowboy hat of his, and played 9-ball miserably.

We barely spoke painting but I poked fun at the paint in his hair, ruffling my hands through it on the drive to my house afterwards. During lunch I asked him to draw me a turtle and he told me later.

He drew me a turtle! I got it an hour ago on my phone! So, hanging out with him for 5+ hours, good, the awesomeness of the day, AMAZING.

A good day.

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/19027020/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/19027020/ Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:36:50 PDT
And at the same time I'm waiting for him to text me to say, "No hard feelings?" Because I'll be laughing my ass off, not because he hurt me, no because it's entirely hilarious he thinks I could harbor feelings against him.

I knew he had found a loophole, but I tossed the idea out the moment it came, I'm an idiot for not making the question even more full proof. It's like Hey Arnold. I like you but I don't like you like you.

The fine line of 'liking'.

But it's not like you can have breakup cupcakes if there was nothing to break. It's just that nothing has changed and it won't change, not anytime soon.

He likes me and by golly he told me he'd love to like me that way but he doesn't. He said that he can't say when the feeling will be mutual but he knows it will be...

And I suppose I find it weirder that I'm not hurt. His expression thought me insane when I continued to smile after he told me that. Did he think I was crying inside? Did he think I was bothered by it? Because I wasn't. I knew what it was like, when someone liked you and you couldn't return the feelings... the feeling that you could like them just... not yet.

Then there's my favorite concept. Time. How much longer will it take for him to like me? How much longer will I like him? Because as a girl, I can slowly walk away if you leave me standing there. But I really like him...

So, my dear sister, will you make some breakup cupcakes for me, even though there wasn't technically a breakup and I'm not all that hurt?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/18773905/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/18773905/ Tue, 10 Jun 2008 20:19:26 PDT
Anyway... enjoy!

~~~~

RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.


1.If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
Things Aren't So Beautiful Now - A Thorn For Every Heart
(that might as well say, "yes, that dress DOES make you look fat")

2.How would you describe yourself?
Sweet Misery - Michelle Branch
(is this an awe moment?)

3.What do you like in a boy?
Mood Rings - Relient K
"Lets get emotional girls to all wear mood rings, so we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off."
(yeah, that totally fits.)

4.How do you feel today?
If Only She Knew - Michelle Branch
(...yeah... that fits...)

5.What is your life's purpose?
Taken Aback - The Rocket Summer
"I'm sorry that, I'm taken aback, 'bout how I am, you never ask. And I don't need, such sympathy, but what a care would so nice once in a while..."
(...um...)

6.What is your motto?
Sweet Talk 101 - Cute is What We Aim For
(lol)

7.What do your friends think of you?
Staplegunned - The Spill Canvas
(again... um...)

8.What do you think of your parents?
Thank You - Simple Plan
('kay?)

9.What do you think about very often?
Vegas - All Time Low
(Who wants to go?)

10.What is 2 + 2?
Sorry... Wrong Trajectory - Flickerstick
(It means the calculator got an error...)

11.What do you think of your best friend?
Under the Sea - Samuel E. Wright
(... of course, with a chain and ball...)

12.What do you think of the person you like?
Princes of the Universe - Queen
(lol)

13.What is your life story?
Save Me From Me - Amber Pacific

14.What do you want to be when you grow up?
Reflection - Lea Salonga
(I was going for a shooting star but you know, it'll be fun to freak people out when they look in and go "Holy crap! Is that me?!"

15.What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Don't Leave Me - The All-American Rejects
(...)

16.What will you dance to at your wedding?
Come One, Come All - All Time Low
"Come one, Come all, you're just in time, to witness my first breakdown. It's a mile gone for every minute passed, when I'm, stuck in this town."
(Time for the honeymoon...)

17.What will they play at your funeral?
So Damn Clever - Plain White T's
(I EVADED DEATH!)

18.What is your hobby/interest?
Ready To Fall - Rise Against

19.What is your biggest fear?
Time To Dance - Panic! At The Disco
( Now we know NOT to get me in a dress and bring me to a dance floor)

20.What is your biggest secret?
Cleavland Park - Edwin McCain
(I wish I had a park that was my very own secret...)

21.What do you think of your friends?
Beautiful - Flickerstick
"You're so beautiful, you're beautiful today. You're so beautiful, you're beautiful in every little way. When you're coming around, I'm off of the ground, I gotta say: You're so beautiful, you're beautiful today."
(Awww, I love you guys...)

22.What will you post this as?
So High - Joe K
"I am so high, I am never coming down, because you're mine you decided to stay, decided to stay around. As time is ticking away, stay the same, stay the same, stay here with me..."
(Yeah, he's not a druggie...)

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/18498303/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/18498303/ Sun, 25 May 2008 17:00:45 PDT
1. I dislike being wished "Good Luck" because bad things always happen.
2. I set my own curfew at 9:30
3. I heavily dislike mirrors
4. Right now (at this exact moment) I'm attempting to draw the line between infatuation and actually seriously liking someone.
5. I can predict my own future unconsciously. It's freaking scary. I'd write a situation in one of my stories and BAM! A week or two later it happens to me. 6.
6. I'm legally blind
7. Sad songs make me happy.

The End. I just thought I'd like to throw that out there.



The Challenge:

Write a songfic and/or story having to deal with the song All Hail The Heartbreaker by The Spill Canvas.

The Deadline:
05/28/08, 11:45 P.M. CT

The Rules:
1. The WHOLE story must be completed BY the deadline.
2. You must have the story get the summary of the song OR have to deal with the title.
3. The story can be with OC's (NO mary sue's) or with my favorite fanfictions, Maximum Ride and Danny Phantom.
4. Keep it PG-13
5. Have Fun!

The Prizes:
1st Place: A story written by me of your own ideas and a drawing, cleaned and colored.
2nd Place: A short story or a drawing, colored.
3rd Place: A short story or a drawing, inked.

The References

[link] <- It even comes with lyrics!

Send me a note or PM to let me know you're entering this contest and the link when it's finished. DO NOT EMAIL ME, IT WILL THINK YOU'RE SPAM.

Thanks for listening

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/18026897/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/18026897/ Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:48:59 PDT
Seriously, Lol. I mean, did I seriously throw a fit like that my freshman year when I made third band? It's not that third band's bad, it's just overflow and, well, less polished. But we get there. I made third band and people came up hugging me and saying it was okay and I only stared back at them with a brow raised. I made third band, so what? What happens happens. I tried cheering up other people, that didn't work, oh well, they can dwell on it forever.

But seriously, my only pet peeve is someone made second band when she didn't deserve it. She constantly tells me to be proud of her when she does stuff the last day instead the last second. Why should I do that? And even more, why does she have to believe she's perfect and everyone has to listen and follow her every word? I wanted her to get third band, no offense to her, because she needs her ego blown. She believes she's always right and everything against her is just everything being stupid. And when you prove her wrong she glares at you and chooses not to believe it. So yeah. She practiced the day before try outs and got second band. Hell, I'm pissed. She's going to throw her ego around on Monday and I don't need that on a MONDAY for pete's sake. But I'm relieved that I don't have class with her at all next year, as much as I respect her as my friend, because I just need less of her. She's like my bratty cousin but good at hiding it. You believe she has good intentions but she uses the 'good' intentions to flaunt and inflate her ego in the worst possible ways. I can stand her and alot of people just in small doses and less often.

'Kay, totally didn't mean to rant. Concert tomorrow, Mock AP, I miss you guys, how are you, Free Ice Cream Day at Ben and Jerry's don't miss it, and don't forget the contest!

All Hail The Heartbreaker Contest


For all those authors out there I've got a contest for you! There's a song I like but I can never get a storyline with it. It bothers me.

Edit: I'm extending the deadline to the end of the school year due to the fact that, well, I have school.

The Challenge:

Write a songfic and/or story having to deal with the song All Hail The Heartbreaker by The Spill Canvas.

The Deadline:
05/28/08, 11:45 P.M. CT

The Rules:
1. The WHOLE story must be completed BY the deadline.
2. You must have the story get the summary of the song OR have to deal with the title.
3. The story can be with OC's (NO mary sue's) or with my favorite fanfictions, Maximum Ride and Danny Phantom.
4. Keep it PG-13
5. Have Fun!

The Prizes:
1st Place: A story written by me of your own ideas and a drawing, cleaned and colored.
2nd Place: A short story or a drawing, colored.
3rd Place: A short story or a drawing, inked.

The References

[link] <- It even comes with lyrics!

Send me a note or PM to let me know you're entering this contest and the link when it's finished. DO NOT EMAIL ME, IT WILL THINK YOU'RE SPAM.

Thanks for listening

Adieu
Nightwing ]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/17579952/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/17579952/ Sat, 29 Mar 2008 20:26:13 PDT
I haven't written in over a month and feel like I have to spill my guts out to you guys but unfortunately I've forgotten half of it.

Anyway, I'm updating 'cause I can't restrain myself from not talking to you guys any longer. I have a concert tomorrow with a pan I knocked so out of tune that an Eb is an F and an Ab is a G. Funny story but it sucks.

I'm getting a ring! It's going to be my treasure next to my Cladaggh (it's strange how I value my Cladaggh over my class ring). It's a ring that symbolizes everything I want to say but my public character is just too different. It's like a someone special ring. If I find the most amazing best friend or the most amazing boyfriend, the type of friend I'd never dream of losing and would do anything to keep them, I'd give them that ring. "I would like to thank you." It says. And I would... I truly would.

So I've had this inability to wake up for the past couple of months (since the end of December), it's strange and that's probably why I'm failing half my classes, 62, 70, 46, and I think a 68. Heck yes. The 46 should be an 80 now, I think, I hope. So I've had four clear days, four days of being awake aka able to concentrate, but I'm falling back into a dream. I don't like it but I'll have to suffer. I'm trying and that's what counts. So yeah, during the days of clarity my period waited for me. Like my last period was just before my birthday (Feb 7th) I started two days ago... and I don't know if I should be happy or hate it, Khaki pants + period = crap. I was like: "Aww, you waited for me!" But then performance Sunday, see above.

My car's gone to the shop. Yay. Now I just need registration.

Bratty cousin got me sick. Again. He is the DISEASED cousin. And then he blames that his parents got me sick when he was the one who was coughing in my face. He eats a whole pint of ice cream almost every hour! And his parents let him! He's going to A) get fat, B) get sick (even more than before the freaking diseased cousin), and C) blame his parents because he's the innocent one in this thing when he demands the ice cream.

Oh yeah, my grandma's in town for the next sixth months. I've got to play nice with her and my cousin. My friends know my hysterical fit I threw one day at school, ahem, I quote: "I DON'T DO ' PLAY NICE '" 'Cause you know, holding your tongue against a seven year old trying to tell him to "suck it up" but have to tone it down and go "I'm sorry Kris, maybe some other time" Though I only say that sometimes, I try and get away with being a little mean by passing it off as a joke saying: "Take it like a man!" Man, I got scolded so many times. Yeah, grandma's fine other than the fact that she smells of strong peppermint and I only understand about two words out of a thirty minute conversation. The Brat isn't. I like it when I know more than him, it shuts him up.

I'll try to post something soon, I've a a nice piece of art that I'm fixing the proportions on.

P.S. Anyone interested in beta-ing me? Long winded paragraphs are not my forte but I'm experimenting with them. They're not really that long. Just the first paragraph, it takes up half a page and talks only about a clock.

All Hail The Heartbreaker Contest


For all those authors out there I've got a contest for you! There's a song I like but I can never get a storyline with it. It bothers me.

Edit: I'm extending the deadline to the end of the school year due to the fact that, well, I have school.

The Challenge:

Write a songfic and/or story having to deal with the song All Hail The Heartbreaker by The Spill Canvas.

The Deadline:
05/28/08, 11:45 P.M. CT

The Rules:
1. The WHOLE story must be completed BY the deadline.
2. You must have the story get the summary of the song OR have to deal with the title.
3. The story can be with OC's (NO mary sue's) or with my favorite fanfictions, Maximum Ride and Danny Phantom.
4. Keep it PG-13
5. Have Fun!

The Prizes:
1st Place: A story written by me of your own ideas and a drawing, cleaned and colored.
2nd Place: A short story or a drawing, colored.
3rd Place: A short story or a drawing, inked.

The References

[link] <- It even comes with lyrics!

Send me a note or PM to let me know you're entering this contest and the link when it's finished. DO NOT EMAIL ME, IT WILL THINK YOU'RE SPAM.

Thanks for listening

Adieu
Nightwing ]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16981618/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16981618/ Wed, 20 Feb 2008 17:28:20 PST
For all those authors out there I've got a contest for you! There's a song I like but I can never get a storyline with it. It bothers me.

Edit: I'm extending the deadline to the end of the school year due to the fact that, well, I have school.

The Challenge:

Write a songfic and/or story having to deal with the song All Hail The Heartbreaker by The Spill Canvas.

The Deadline:
05/28/08, 11:45 P.M. CT

The Rules:
1. The WHOLE story must be completed BY the deadline.
2. You must have the story get the summary of the song OR have to deal with the title.
3. The story can be with OC's (NO mary sue's) or with my favorite fanfictions, Maximum Ride and Danny Phantom.
4. Keep it PG-13
5. Have Fun!

The Prizes:
1st Place: A story written by me of your own ideas and a drawing, cleaned and colored.
2nd Place: A short story or a drawing, colored.
3rd Place: A short story or a drawing, inked.

The References

[link] <- It even comes with lyrics!

Send me a note or PM to let me know you're entering this contest and the link when it's finished.

Thanks for listening

Adieu
Nightwing ]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16890393/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16890393/ Thu, 14 Feb 2008 20:59:28 PST
I never thought I'd meet someone so carefully guarded that I felt like I was an opposing magnet and we were attempting to shove away from each other.

So... Some quotes for V-Day:


Love me like the girl you've never known. Love me like I'm the apple of your eye and that your heart beats so fast when you see me your heart might explode.

Love me like you want to breathe my air, taste my lips, your gaze to never leave mine. Love me, I ask. Love me.

Adieu
Nightwing

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16808829/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16808829/ Sat, 09 Feb 2008 23:12:51 PST
My flute choir made state in Solo and Ensemble! Yay life!

Ikkicon is this weekend and I snagged a cute bag and an apathetic bear.

One of my friends is an artist selling work at ikkicon (I'm jealous, I'm not as good as her.)

My car's not working...

I had an awesome birthday party (we attempted to convince people to climb the tree to get to the balcony, only Fro-boy did it) and got an uber great haul of gifts.

My adorable Danny style has come back!!!!!

I scared my counselor enough to make her wake up at three in the morning to call my other counselor. (I have two, ain't I lucky? No, one of them is scary as hell!)

I started drawing in my sketchbook again! I hope to post stuff soon!

And thank you ever so much Mama cat for the subscription!!!!!

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16619011/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16619011/ Mon, 28 Jan 2008 19:31:04 PST [link]

Is it weird when your band director tells you his brother is touring with Paramore in London and then totally advertises his brother's band to you? Is it even more weird when you find the band AMAZING?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16498825/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16498825/ Mon, 21 Jan 2008 00:17:30 PST
I went to the Sam Rhine genetics update and it inspired a new story out of me! I'm so excited because I'm actually researching it little by little. It's kinda weird 'cause I'm using references from the whole 'how to get cancer' and mental disorders... weird but it's okay, that's what fiction is about.

Of course this story goes into another biology thing, co-existence. Two beings sharing one space, there's always a dominant and recessive like in genes but the thing is, they want to co-exist. But there's one problem, one doesn't know the other exists, so it kinda seems like a split personality disorder... yeah. What's even better is that it's a mix between three of my FF.net stories with cool quotes. But what's even cooler is that it already has it's own quote! A creepy quote having to do with the two beings in one body but oddly, I don't know, soothing? I had to make a preface just to put the quote in.

"We were a promise to each other."

... ah, well back to writing, I've got to give the heroine something to do...

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16421539/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16421539/ Tue, 15 Jan 2008 17:37:47 PST
I freaked out, seriously FREAKED out today! I'm still shaking, holy crap... such a bad day...

so I gave him(my car) more water 'cause that's what my Dad told me to do but I'm already freaking because my car's been overheating for too long and there are times he suddenly jolts and I freak out but I never told my family that so they don't know I already freak out about my car. So to add on top of that, the freaking cap breaks. I'm already freaking out because of my car then the cap breaks, well crap... how am I going to get another one of those? So my Dad tells me to stuff a rag in it and drive home and I tell him I don't have a rag. -Oh, imagine this, I'm in a parking lot of Randalls- So I'm freaking out more because he says to drive WITHOUT ANYTHING covering it. And knowing me, I think the worst, water's gonna go everywhere, my car heats up and explodes. So I finally tell my Dad I'm seriously freaking out, he a) doesn't understand me and b) thought I've been calm all this time. So he thinks I say a bunch of words that rhyme with freaking until I finally scream into the phone "I'M FREAKING OUT!" Not to mention I had tried refraining from that because a) I'm in the Randall's parking lot with a lot of people around me and b) it's rude to yell at your elder.

I ended up crying by the time my mom got there, shaking, and then she took the phone (on which I was talking to my Dad on) and closed it without saying goodbye. So my Mom bought me coffee and took me home, telling me how much an idiot my Dad can be. And well here I am.

But seriously, screaming in the middle of a parking lot, I've never been so embarrassed, mortified, didn't care so much because I was freaking out that badly.

Hugs anyone?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16379832/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16379832/ Sat, 12 Jan 2008 22:29:25 PST
...but...

Thanks for the 3k pageviews!

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16273931/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16273931/ Sat, 05 Jan 2008 17:08:35 PST
You know how excited I was to get a Wii, I was so excited because my Mom would finally play games with us so I was really happy but ever since my cousin found out that I have a Wii he's been coming over every chance he gets, which is every day, he spends the night, goes home for about three hours and comes back to play it. He even has his own Wii but he doesn't want to play it!

What's worse is he's a freaking SPOILED BRAT! He's inconsiderate and rude! He pees on the toilet seat on purpose and expects my sister and I to clean it up, He purposely does stuff on the Wii JUST to piss off everyone, He asks questions while you're playing even though he knows the answers but he does it to distract you, when he wins he wants you to tell him who's the winner, he runs around the house like freaking elephant, he bangs on the door at six am DEMANDING you get up just to play Wii with him even though you went to bed at three because you played Wii with him, he orders you around and doesn't say please unless it means he gets food or a toy he previously hit you with back, and that's not even the half of it! He's a job that stresses me out before he comes!

I haven't been this stressed or freaking pissed off, emotional since I was going through my rebel stage almost four years ago! I want to cuss him our but he's only seven!

And guess what? He's coming over again! I don't even get paid to take of him, I know he's my cousin but he's the sign of the devil! He has me so freaking stressed I can't type correctly! I've made so many mistakes and had to go back and correct it, it's not even funny.

You know what's more? I thought, I had foolishly thought my vacation started today! There was no one banging on my door, no voice yelling from downstairs, no one demanding me to do things for them. I thought I was free! I got to chill out, sketch, finally load some pictures, look at stuff on the net and then next thing I know my sister's talking to my brat of a cousin say how delighted I'd be to play with him at our house! She said she wouldn't be there (if only to make me endure all the pain and suffering) because she'd be with her friend Angie but I'd still be here to play. So I'm running down the stairs signaling her to tell her no and she just looks at me like I'm an idiot. i was excited my vacation started but that, that just ruined it.

I'm trying so hard. I've been trying so hard to not scream my lungs out, trying so hard not to say I hate things because hate is such a strong word but I'm at my wits end. I hate him, I hate my sister for doing this to me! I wish this break never came! Gods, I've never been this pissed that I'm crying.

School starts on Tuesday, I don't know if I should be happy or sad, sad that my vacation was non existent and I'll be more stressed and annoyed than when I left, or happy because I'll be away from my cousin.

Gods, I hate life.

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16155783/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/16155783/ Sat, 29 Dec 2007 17:18:46 PST
I'm excited that I've gotten an Art Tablet, a Wii, and a giant penguin for Christmas and I'm even more excited to meet my sister's boyfriend, Paul. btw... who name's their kid Paul nowadays?

I'm in a good mood, however I am dead tired because my cousin (who I see for like an hour every few months and grateful for it) has stayed at our house for three days straight. I'm growing in patience but my patience seems to shorten with that boy. How can a boy like him be screaming like a girl with excitement at three in the morning after being up all day, watching a movie till twelve and STILL wanting to play Wii? He lacks common sense and manners and frankly, my patience is cut down more than half if you don't display manners. Whatever happened to, "Do not interrupt adults unless you're bleeding or dying?" Man, that was drilled into my head in elementary school but apparently they don't do that at private schools.

As for my thoughts, I have Sweeny Todd stuck in my head along with a story with a girl in a creme dress, greeting guests with a fond smile for she is an angel within a church. I am also debating whether or not I should celebrate Valentine's Day... do I honestly want to deal with a day I don't really like?

Ah, oh well, updating for the sake of updating, and I'm curious as to how you are. ^^

I hope you guys had a very Merry Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, and have a very happy New Year!

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15960754/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15960754/ Sun, 16 Dec 2007 14:33:54 PST
So yesterday I was told a new shipment of Wii's would be coming in @ toys-r-us. And well, me never having staked out before, the following morning (30 degrees outside, cold for texans) at five fifty I was out there sitting with a thermos of hot coffee, a maglite flashlight, my ipod where I watched Danny Phantom and Relient K, and a dragon comforter, and a seat cushion my mom uses at football games. I was wide awake and everyone else was dead tired.

And so I waited, and waited, and waited and then I was told there were only fourteen Wii's which paled in comparison to Target who had 70+ Wii's (in Austin AND San Antonio, my sister was waiting at Target there) and so most of the people behind me left to go get Wii's @ target speeding out of the parking lot. At seven-thirty they handed out the fourteen vouchers, I was number thirteen and my unofficial companion got the last one. We chilled out till the place opened at eight while a lot of people were like "Ooo, there's no line, we'll get a Wii." And we had to explain to them we got the last two.

So yes! I got a Wii!

And to make it more exciting, remember this?: [link]

I DEFEATED URSELA!!!!!!!!!!!

I could not defeat freaking Ursela, or however you spell her name. So today (on three hours of sleep) I defeated her in her freaking mighty glory and I'm in Halloween Town ^^

Today is a game day, I'm excited, I'll be getting KHII for Christmas ^^ Didn't KHII come out for Christmas last year? XD So must finish Holloween Town today and maybe Neverland, if I can defeat Boogie. Gotta Train gotta Train gotta Train.

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15883253/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15883253/ Mon, 10 Dec 2007 20:18:46 PST
In the ninth grade my teacher had code names for us, our theme: plants and trees. And of course I was an Ash tree.

Today I had an argument with a friend of mine, whether or not he was in my class way back when and we're juniors! Biology was a long long time ago...

Just imagine this you're visiting your Pre-cal teacher with your friend and as you head back you're talking about how you have a tendency to fall asleep in your third period classes throughout all of high school so far. He asks you who you had when you had biology third period and you reply: Mrs. Hutcheson. And you point to her door.

And that's when the argument begins.

He argues that I couldn't have been in that class and I argue back that I was in fact in third period class with Mrs. Hutcheson and I had proof. So we spout off our things we remembered from biology that most of the time had nothing to do with biology.

"Do you remember when Mrs. H had to take the pencil out of the water faucet?"

"No but do you remember Suzanna with a reminds me of? Suzanna took out a tampon and said, 'this reminds me of a sperm'"

"No but do you remember the candy lab when Mrs. H mention wild candy sex?"

"Yeah! Do you remember the Sarah's being paired in the gay couple baby project?"

"Something like that... Oh what about the sophomore that transferred into the class?"

"Yeah! He's was kinda dumb..."

"I know and everyone thought he was cool."

"That was lame... wait, so you were in my class!!"

"Yeah but how come I don't remember you?"

Man, there was so much more stuff inbetween that 'cause we went through our classes one by one slowly and carefully and then there was more of the 'do you remember's' It was crazy, the argument lasted like 7 min.

But afterwards it made me happy, it was a great stress reliever, arguing over nothing, it's not like we got truly irritated at each other during this argument, we listened to what each other had to say and well, it's not like it's going to change anything, right?


btw, the gay couple project was called 'alternative life styles couple'... XD

So back to the current science: Physics, yay test corrections! hey I made one point below the average of the whole class. Freaking 65! and I get to correct it to an 82!

I can't believe the class average is a 66 T_T

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15756376/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15756376/ Sat, 01 Dec 2007 21:28:56 PST
Now you're happy your Dad finally got his job at the hospital and for some reason he was transferred to a clinic and now he works every day of the week so you need to find a way to get to school. Yeah you have your mom but like everyone else in your family, she has no sense of time. You'll leave at 8:30 after you tell her the latest you can leave is 8:15 'cause the bell rings at 8:40. And you recieve a ride from your best friend home but you don't like it 'cause you think you're a bother to him. (well, I was bothering Cale... 'cause Sami and I have weird habits of turning the hazard signal on)

So by then you feel like a pain 'cause your Dad can't drive you, you're Mom's busy at work, and you dislike butting into other people's time, not to mention the whole cause of this mess is because your 17 year old car doesn't like you.

So you needed to get a new battery today but like I stated earlier the battery connector is welded. Your Dad says he can help on the battery Monday but you need to drive to school Monday. You can only agree but you know you it'll be a hassle to ask for rides.

Then you find out you need to drive yourself to your own dentist appointment in the middle of a school day, will the school let you out to go? But there's still the issue about the car that hates you.... will you have the battery replaced in time?

Now in truth that you is me but imagine that... wouldn't that stress you out when you're the type to be easily guilt tripped and always feel like you're in the way?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15667776/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15667776/ Sun, 25 Nov 2007 16:12:28 PST
Right now I'm taking care of my Mom, she's been feeling under the weather just like I have for the past couple of days. I don't like having my mother pamper me when I'm sick, I usually end up convincing myself I'm not sick and then I get better. I don't like missing school so if I ever stay home because I'm sick my parents let me 'cause when I'm sick and want to go to school it's usually when my parents try to convince me to stay home.

But I suppose that's how it always is. We understand each other. I'm allowed to pick my own scedule 'cause I know their expectations from me and what I can expect from myself. We're in a private understanding that I don't quite get and I don't argue with it.

My father often reminds me, so much that his voice becomes my own, not to hate. To hate something is so easy, it's such a small word but it's very powerful. I really don't like that word. You can dislike all you want but not hate, hate is just so... I don't know. And when I hear someone hate something I shy away from them unintentionally because hate is not a word I like to use. Yeah, I say it but I go back and correct myself because it's not worth it to hate.

And I guess I should say I am easily influenced by words. Any gossip I overhear I'll believe a little of this and that and I'm trying not to get influenced if I don't know the person, I really try but it's hard. Just like when my mom teases me about a boy.

She says "I think he likes you." and I believe her and the thought gets stuck in my head and then she says, "I bet you like him." and then I think I do. But I don't. The two of us are just friends, yeah, it'd be cool if he liked me that way but no, I wanna be friends I don't want to like anyone like that yet. But the words stay...

I wonder if I really am, 'that' child...

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15537696/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15537696/ Fri, 16 Nov 2007 18:01:45 PST
But I'll paraprashe: I'm saying "I love you." more often. The sad spouts don't stay. My stories bubble laughter in my heart and soft hearted gazes are all I need. I hear the words, "I want to greet you with a smile" when I'm not thinking and even when I am. I hear the words "He loves you" like the dreams I used to have...

The only thing that bothers me about this secret (though it won't last for long) I keep on forgetting how to wear my claddagh ring...

May I greet you with a smile?

Adieu
Nightwing

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15454388/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15454388/ Sat, 10 Nov 2007 19:53:48 PST
So... for all those who watch La Corda D'Oro, I want to be like Kaho-chan. For all those who don't, I want to be the person who can smile and say: "I love my flute!" and I can back it up.

I've been having issues with band as of late, I've been too apathetic about it but at the same time too timid and I'm tired of that so I'm in mega practice mode. I'm looking into solo pieces I can practice at home on my flute AND oboe ^^ I'm practicing a trio of my making to "Ave Maria" with double seconds (that's a steel drum if you don't know). Which, have I mentioned? I'm the first student ever to take home a steel drum in our band!

Again, if you know La Corda D'Oro, you know why "Ave Maria".

And I suppose since I want to be that type of person who can just openly say: "I love my flute!" Is why I was having issues in band unknowingly. I was tired of those around me with the high pitched squealing and more that I had convinced myself, the lower the better, tubas and baritones are lovely I love them more, I want to quit flute but I can't play brass. And so my playing quality decreased. I can openly say: "I love my Basses!" Which I do, all six of those pans. I mourned the day the C pan fell on bulldogs and hot dogs and became a C # and rejoiced when I saved another from becoming worse. But these basses aren't the same as my flute, my flute is a different part of me than my basses, as is my oboe that I am slowly beginning to love. But I realized why I frowned upon Cale saying he wanted to switch to Baritone or even Bass Clarinet. It wasn't just that he was leaving the section, it saddened me that his flute wouldn't be played. Doesn't he love it enough to not leave it alone? And I suppose I shouldn't be saying anything because I deserted my concert flutes for oboe but I'm hoping to fill that gap this year...

I suppose that's what I'm missing this year and it's what I'm slowly gaining back: Love

Well back to the practice room

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15179775/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15179775/ Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:17:30 PDT
It's funny how it comes and goes with me. It blinds me even if I'm not the one in love, if I'm writing a character that is.

And it's odd because I drift back to my childish wishes. I want someone who is bigger than me and make be feel like a little kid, happy and safe in their arms. Their hands have to be larger than mine so I can lose myself tracing the lines of the hand.

And I know I don't want that now, I've got bigger things to worry about than a boy I know I will have trouble commiting too but I can't help but dream.

For Example: At practice today, while standing still as the cold wind blew through us, I recognized a familiar face on the field. And for a moment I wanted to run up to him and hug him like he were in fact my boyfriend. But I knew better. I knew I was only cold but for once I wanted someone I could be cold with. And it's stupid I know but maybe it's the songs I've been listening to.

Love is a funny word, I typed that somewhere, and it is but I cannot help but wonder when I'll be able to stop running from such a commitment. I'm tired of giving the excuses of not wanting to be loved.

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15042793/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/15042793/ Sat, 13 Oct 2007 11:24:08 PDT
So check list for today:
Get my day made: check
go to performance: (not till 330) (Check)
get scared out of my mind so much I want my mommy: Not till 530 (Check)
win first: err... (check)

So my day was made because my all time favorite character from one of the best anime series is freaking ALIVE! I thought he died! But Allen brought Lavi back! hence, I <3 Lavi XD

Lavi is back! Lavi is back!

So now that I've had some joy, maybe I can scare myself silly ^^

I'll edit this later on, maybe, depends, yes, no, dunno.

Edit: So yeah: WE GOT FIRST PLACE! ^^ that's good. that's always good to get first place ^^

but yeah, I need the baritones to scare me, though I doubt they'll find a way by the next performance T_T

I got a little scared before the performance but It's not enough to make me do grand. Yeah... Scare me?

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/14949620/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/14949620/ Sun, 07 Oct 2007 02:19:24 PDT
I have to say that this show was amazing. Compared to all the other shows we've done, this is the first one that I felt we were all there, our minds, our bodies, our souls 'cause I could feel it vibrate in my chest and it's so hard to do that.

Cale cried. I mean he CRIED. He was so happy about the show and he was so SPENT I don't think he could really move all that well. But the flutes are proud of him 'cause he's manly enough to cry for over 20 min. straight over an awesome show. I think he cried for me too 'cause I thought it was an amazing show but my first reaction is always lock away any emotion towards the show 'cause people usually shoot it out the window. But I do believe I did one of my best shows if now the best.

So like the title, we got 3rd place but we're so much better now. The freshmen and sophomores get to know /remember the feeling of the band being whole. The feeling of together, not the baritone section that drowns out the mellos... not that... It's like you're weaving a story... you can't have too much of one thing, otherwise it'll tell a completely different story.

So excuse me, I'm going to bed.

]]> ~Nightwingstar http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/14917774/ http://Nightwingstar.deviantart.com/journal/14917774/ Thu, 04 Oct 2007 18:58:52 PDT
So, hugs?

]]> ~Nightwingstar