^-^ Neat site...

~Nyyght — Thu, 27 May 2004 05:02:02 PDT

Mood: paranoid but ok.
Listening to: Ace of Base - Unspeakable

I was at work when my co-workers told me about a website, it's called "The President's Challenge" and really it breaks down to a website about being fit.

The cool part is that if you sign up, they let you track your progress and win awards and such. ^-^ They have lots of options for activities...everything from fishing to aerobics...they even have unicycle and pedometer. The first goal is to be active for 30 mins, 5 days a week, for 6 weeks. I'm in my first week...haven't changed my diet just yet...and I've lost a pound. woo hoo. ^-^

Anyways...here's the [link] sign up if you like! ^.o Join my group if you feel like it. All you need to do is sign up under the appropriate age group...then log in, go to groups...and add this group. Info below.

Group #: 12684
Member ID: WWWFitness

My IRL Friends:
- Erin
- Steff
- Chris
- "Collin"
- Travis

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

...finding the happy medium

~Nyyght — Wed, 26 May 2004 13:20:36 PDT

Mood: paranoid but ok.
Listening to: Ace of Base - Unspeakable

Ok...I took a day or two out and just thought things through, reasoned with myself. I feel much better now.

After the kind words I recieved here...as well as through IM and email...I think I've reached a happy medium...where I am neither indiffrent to the fact I may be overreacting....or the fact that I may be right. Either way is fine now...as I realize I hold no sway over any final decisions. o.o

This person in question has always been kind to me...and thus...so what if I'm right or wrong? It really doesn't matter in the end...o.O

Anyways...sorry I have not gone and replied individually...my mood is still somewhat unstable...and so I'm trying not to dwell on it just yet. o.o at least not until I've gotten a good hold on my current mood. ^.^;; But yes...I feel better...no longer depressed...

Though I've had no soda in 2 days...and today for the first time in 15 years I ate a salad....o.O;; oh...the terror!

Anyways...Thanks everyone! Hugs to you all! :hugs:

My IRL Friends:
- Erin
- Steff
- Chris
- "Collin"
- Travis

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

Reading: The book of poems I made.

... I'd die happy knowing I at least was happy for a short while.

-.- As if it wasn't apparent...I'm terribly depressed. A while back it became impossible for me to deny my feelings towards a certain someone. Ever since...I've been on a rollercoaster...actions and words...all mixing...and contradicting. I have no idea where I stand anymore...and it suddenly occured to me...that perhaps this person doesn't really like me at all. Perhaps they only tolerate me...perhaps they think I'm insane...I haven't a clue.

I just suddenly realized that it was all very hopeless. I've been sitting here...knowing I'd easily throw myself off some dangerous place if it would only make them smile...and yet...they don't seem to miss me...or like me...really... -.- I started to wodner if I'm just an annoyance. All my joy and hope...and everything new and wodnerful I've felt came to a screeching halt....right there in that instance...when my mind realized that despite how strongly I feel...despite what I may want...they may not EVER feel the same. It crushed me.

...lately...they don't even seem to want to talk to me.

-.- I slipped into a fast depression...don't feel like doing much of anything. I feel numb....like I don't need anything anymore...I feel like I did before I met him....dead inside...like he trys to act. But you know what?...at this point...I've given up hope...that he'll ever ask to come over...that he'll ever reach out just to hold hands....I could scream right now...I feel so stupid.

...I could die tomorrow...and I just wouldn't care anymore...I am no longer really here anymore...just cut off...stuck in the memories of that short while when I was happy. Now...I'm just an empty shell...like so many others.

I feel destructive....I just want to hurt myself...I won't...most likely....but the urge is more than a slight impulse. -.- *curls up in my chair*

Anyways...I think I shall be spending alot of time sleeping....I can't cope with this otherwise.

My IRL Friends:
- Erin
- Steff
- Chris
- "Collin"
- Travis

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

Reading: Forbidden Rites - A Necromancers Grimore

Simply put....I want cuddles....I am not depressed anymore...but I can't sleep...I have been up a long time. With all this free time I have set up my web cam...hurray...x.x;; If your the curious sorts...it can be viewed at the bottom of this deviant page ....or you can get more detail fromt he site below. I am boring...just to warn you.

[link]

Also...as always:

~INSOMNIA~
Time Up Since: Tuesday, April 27, 2004 6:30 a.m.
Last Updated: Thursday, April 29, 2004 12:00 a.m.
Time Total: 1 days 18 hours ( 41 hours )

= 1 day

(also...monday I was actually up 15 hours...slept 15 mins...and then started the time of this insomnia chart ...thingey.)

Days Passed:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My IRL Friends:
- Erin
- Steff
- Chris
- "Collin"
- Travis

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

Reading: Forbidden Rites - A Necromancers Grimore

I asked something blunt...something I didn't need to gamble asking...I was perfectly safe and warm in a world of unknowing...and partial denile/hope...and I went and gambled it all in the hopes that what I thought I saw...what I've wished was real... -.- Thinking I could do the impossible...and make it all even more wonderful... Well I failed...I was wrong.

At first it was just shocking...caught me off gaurd...didn't want to believe what I was hearing...the words didn't match the actions...but...now...slowly, despite my attempts to cheer up....I just seem to be slipping deeper and deeper into depression. -.- It's like I'm trapped in a mud hole and I'm trying to claw my way out....and it's all just falling in on me....crushing me...drowning me....and I'm left to wonder...how I could be so happy...and fall so fast?

I don't know what to do...I can't sleep...I can't eat...I just feel wrecked...like someone ripped the life right out of me. I'm so upset...I can't even cry. -.- It just feels so hopeless...like nothing I ever do will ever be good enough...ever change anything...and I just feel vulnerable...naked...exposed....dare I say, scared.

I give up...I'm not gonna force something that isn't there...it's not worth it for anyones happiness. -.- I just thought...I understood...and I don't. I'm through fooling myself...and well...I just don't care anymore.

My spirit is crushed.

Love...is a cruel brew of chemicals in your brain...-.-

...and yet...no matter how hard I try to convince myself I don't care...I still do...I can't stop...but I suppose I can hide it...-.-

My IRL Friends:
- Erin
- Steff
- Chris
- "Collin"
- Travis

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

Reading: Forbidden Rites - A Necromancers Grimore

Today...I was bored. I sat around a long time...feeling sorry for myself...as I was the only one sitting home. Then I decided to read a book...after all, my life shouldn't revolve around other people.

So I found a good book (non-fiction...of course) and plopped down on the couch. I read for abotu 3 hours...and it was strangely calming...not to mention it made me feel exspecially evil. ^-^

I guess it was a reminder to myself of a couple things...1. I don't need people to be content 2. Knowledge is power 3. Power destroys your enemies...and binds your friends closer...and 4. Damn juicebags. So yeah, I feel much better now.

Worked on my own grimore a bit...and rededicated myself to gaining knowledge. I need to make a stop at the library...*evil grin* Anyways...it's been a good day.

My IRL Friends:
- Erin
- Steff
- Chris
- "Collin"
- Travis

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

- Erin
- Steff
- Chris
- "Collin"
- Travis

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

Hurray for art!

~Nyyght — Thu, 25 Mar 2004 15:18:12 PST

Mood: Laid Back
Listening to: Outkast - The Whole World

^.o so, I've spent most of today sketching....got a bunch of art done...and now I'm coloring. ^-^ Seems it's been over a month since I submitted anything really art-like. O.o;;

But yes...new art is in the works and should be up soon. ^-^

-Umakami : Wooo! I'm almost done! finally! ^.o (and I added color lines to the outline...rather than just black!...hope you like it! )

-Benji kitty person: ...yes, I finally finished the pic I said I'd do for yah! It's coming up soon.

- Els9000 : Got the line art for the bet winner done, just need to color it. Haha...I can't draw people kissing worth beans...x.x;;

- Tydrian : ^.o you didn't know I was making a pic for yah...but I am. ^.^;; Hopefully the pose will not offend. I'm bad at poses. x.x;; (features: Barri & Tennie)

My IRL Friends:
- Erin
- Steff
- Chris
- "Collin"
- Travis

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

- Erin
- Steff
- Chris
- "Collin"
- Travis

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

[link]
______________________________

My IRL Friends:
- Erin
- Steff
- Chris
- "Collin"
- Travis

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

So I'm a touch late...

~Nyyght — Sat, 14 Feb 2004 17:43:40 PST

Mood: BAH
Listening to: Magenta - One Mind

O.o well, For the last 12 hours I've been plotting out and animating a new flash movie! Hurray! ^-^ It's Valentine's Day related...and yes...I know it's nearly over...But I don't care. *l* The flash is half movie...half game...and when I'm finished...hopefully it will be really funny too (note: people who love valentines day...will probably not think it's funny...unless they enjoy lonely peoples psychotic episodes). O.o;; So yes...Hoping to have it done by Sunday night at the latest. ^.^

My IRL Friends:

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

Please Read...^.^

~Nyyght — Tue, 27 Jan 2004 19:38:45 PST

Mood: BAH
Listening to: Magenta - One Mind

Recently I have taken up the task of helping someone less fortunate...below is a link to the story and a way to help. It's important, so please look if you have a minute? Thanks!

[link]

My IRL Friends:

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

...I'm sleepy?

~Nyyght — Mon, 19 Jan 2004 04:35:16 PST

Mood: BAH
Listening to: Inuyasha - Dearest

one word....BAH. x.x

My IRL Friends:

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

evil grin

~Nyyght — Mon, 12 Jan 2004 17:55:45 PST

Mood: :Evil:
Listening to: Outkast - Hey Ya

In the last day...I've gone from feeling grouchy...to feeling evil. ^-^ Evils a good way to feel! For me at least. ^.o *grin*

-.-;; gah! Night already.. x.x;; nooooo! ....geez...at this rate I won't have anything posted for another week! x.x;; *sulks a bit*

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

Insomnia...O.o Who needs sleep anyhow?

~Nyyght — Thu, 25 Dec 2003 22:42:50 PST

o.o;; well, I kinda sorta...fell asleep... but I was close to 40 hours awake when I did. I think if I hadn't fallen asleep soon...my mom would have put me to sleep...as I was getting cranky and easily annoyed. *lol*

Mom tried to ignore me...by going back to sleep...and so I splashed her with water...^.^;; which isn't really a smart thing to do.. *lol* Anyways...I'm awake now...

Awake project lasted : Tuesday 7pm - Thursday 11am ( 40 hours )
Sleep lasted: Thursday 11am - Friday 1am ( 14 hours )

---------------------------------

er, anyways...found this neat site it tells you all the pages that are dead accounts. ^.^ Ever had a name you wanted and couldn't get?...only to find the person that has it isn't using it?! Gah!! so frustrating! ^.^ *lol* cool site though...

I was being helpful...O.o and sent them 239 more to add to the list... I was happy as they thanked me...^-^;; and didn't disembowel me! Hurray!

My Current Projects: [link]
My Stalkers: [link]
People I Stalk: [link]
Clubs I Encourage: [link]

Clubs I'm In ( or hope to be in... ):

Kenshin:

Yu Yu Hakusho:

Lifestyle ( Mine ^.~ ):

General...

My Stalkers

~Nyyght — Wed, 24 Dec 2003 02:43:50 PST
Hurray for stalkers! ^-o I love mine...and hench...my modest stalker shrine. ^-^
Currently I have: 28 sets of eyes on me

haha...yeah, there's more on the way...poor you! ^.o You just give me too many ideas!
Your plight has inspired me...I think the product will amuse you.
^-^ Almost done with the piccy we discussed. Just needs color.
^.o Have all but the color on the art trade...^-^ and a lil something else too. Just for you.
One of your charaters inspired me...^.o The rest is a suprize.
O.o Yep your on the list too! ^.~ *l* ...it's a suprize.
One of your charaters inspired me...wee!
One of your peoms inspired me.
^.^ *grins* ...yeah, your on here too...oh sneaky one! *POKE*

O.o I also have a 3 or 5 neat pictures of inuyasha which I should color soon. ^-^

Heck...I have about 15 others too. x.x;; ooo....much coloring. *s*

^.^;; meep...

~Nyyght — Sun, 07 Dec 2003 14:06:43 PST

O.o so...here I sit, listening to this song...it's making me crazy...but I can't stop listening to it. ^.^;;

Er...so yes, today I sat around...browsing the net...noticing all the art and all the people creating it. ^.o Some very awesome stuff floating around out there. -.-;; I wonder if I'll ever be that good. *small smile* O.o doing art trades and stuff would be awesome...haha...no one ever asks me to draw them anything.

What's next ?

~Nyyght — Thu, 04 Dec 2003 10:40:31 PST

I should be coloring the rest of those black and whites...not to mention a few I don't even have up yet! ^.o But before that...I have another more realistic piece kicking me in the butt. ^-^ I dunno...I just have to do it now! O.o can't wait...

It will be female ...aside from that...I don't wanna give away the rest. O.o ok...actually I dunno the rest...yet...*lol*

^.o I am now...giddy.

~Nyyght — Wed, 03 Dec 2003 18:25:40 PST

^-^ well, got my new pic up...the one that I started yesterday...and I'm somewhat happy with how it came out. O.o *s* Then I talked to erin...*l* now I'm just downright giddy! ^-^;; haha...I swear that boy is made of sugar! *lol*

The eyes open...

~Nyyght — Tue, 02 Dec 2003 15:19:32 PST

Ut oh...o.o for once the urge has struck me, to reach deep down and do something a bit more serious...a bit more realistic...this could get interesting. ^-^;

*comes back and adds a note* ...grrr...-.- getting too confident in my art. Don't need to get a big head...Time to remeber that I'm not that good...just a hobby...ok..that's better. o.o

Another Day...

~Nyyght — Sat, 29 Nov 2003 19:03:19 PST

So many ideas...I feel so inspired...not at all enough time to get everything down on paper...let alone colored. x.x;; currently I have 25 pics + waiting to be colored. o.o Getting it done though...and I still have all of tomorrow before I go back to work. ^-^ Hehe...I can't wait until x-mas break...2 weeks of downtime to work on whatever I want.

O.o; happy again...?!

~Nyyght — Fri, 28 Nov 2003 09:40:31 PST

^.^;; woke up happy again today...*l* I'm so confused. o.O; I'll just channel it into art...^-^ Now...if I can just find my diffrent width pens...O.o;; where the heck did I leave those?!

Grrr...my head hurts...>.<

~Nyyght — Thu, 27 Nov 2003 20:58:45 PST

I was elated...now...I'm cranky. I feel like I'm loosing my mind...or maybe I already have. -.- Maybe it's the fact I spent Thanksgiving alone in my basement..*shrugs* I told myself I didnt carebut then I saw everyone else with their families and friendsthen I saw my ex-friend of 4 years onlineand wellkinda depressing. Who knows? I should stop being such a cry baby...but I feel like just screaming belligerently at the tops of my lungs...why? I dunno.

Just seems like today was like any other daytrying so hard to slip back into my imaginationso I wont care. Maybe more soda will helpof courseif I drink much more my blood will consist 98% of soda. o.o already had about 6 liters today. -.-;; GrrrIm gonna go draw some more.

Weeee! ^-^

~Nyyght — Thu, 27 Nov 2003 14:15:15 PST

If I could sum up everything I'm feeling at this very moment...into just one word...the word would be ELATION! Pure elation! Weee! I'm spiraling off in about 15 directions...and I feel awesome! O.o I dunno why...maybe it was the soda.

Anyways...^-^ I added a new ID pic...I'm really happy with the way it came out...background and all. O.o I normally suck at backgrounds..*s* I don't think any other picture could sum me up better...hehe. ^-^ I love it. Hurray! Hugs for everyone! *grabs everyone in a hug...yes yes...even the unwilling ones...come on...you know you love it!* ^.~

Procrastination...

~Nyyght — Wed, 26 Nov 2003 08:00:27 PST

Grr...I'm bad...very bad! o.o;; Keep sketching new things when I should be finishing up the coloring job on the other pics I already did. x.x;; Not to mention homework is being a pain in my kiester. Anyways...Thanksgiving break begins after work today! So I'll have 4 days to finish the coloring.. *lol* o.o;; no more sketching for now...*smacks my own hand* ^.^;;

Hurray for the weekend!

~Nyyght — Fri, 21 Nov 2003 18:12:29 PST

Finally! The weekend is here...and now, I have begun my coloring. ^.o hehe...and the coloring will take awhile...considering I have over 17 new pictures to color. x.x;; *l* I should never be allowed to take my sketchbook to work....! See what happens?!

Anyways...^.o I'm gonna call it a night. Aside from the whole massive amounts of art thing...I did a little something else...that should turn out fairly fun in a couple days. *wide grin* ^-^ Just a little show of appreciation...quiet awe I suppose...o.o Hopefully it's also anonymous. -.-;; Otherwise it won't be as fun. *smiles*

...and now...off to bed! ^.o *THUD* Zzzzzzz

Almost Saturday...

~Nyyght — Thu, 20 Nov 2003 19:22:36 PST

*clings to the edge of my seat* O.O almost saturday....almost!! Arg!! I can't wait!! ^.^;; I have about 10 half finished pictures...and it's making me crazy that I have to wait to see them done...o.o good news though...as I only have to wait one more day...-.-;; erg...too tired to think...must have ...sleep. *THUD* zzzzzz

x.x;; no time...arg!!

~Nyyght — Tue, 18 Nov 2003 18:53:08 PST

o.o the good news is...I've been on a crazy drawing spree...! Tons of good ideas...or at least decent ones...feeling mighty good...drawing lots and lots....but the bad news comes in the news that I have no time to color it all...-.- or to even scan it for that matter. I have to wait until Friday night...or saturday morning...erg....what a bummer.

This is going to bother me...

Why won't I sleep?! O.O;;

~Nyyght — Sun, 16 Nov 2003 23:31:42 PST

Second time I told myself to go to bed...stop drawing...stop it!! ...but no..I'm still awake...*whines* -.-;; I have to get up for work in 3 hours....noooooooo!!

Ok...I'm really going to bed now...I'm putting this tablet down...closing out Photoshop...putting the pencil my dresser...and I'm going to bed. o.o I'm just going to lay there...until I go to sleep. Can't keep drawing....so many ideas....erg. x.x;; Someone sneak up on me with a hammer!...*sneak sneak*....*pause*....*WHACK* ...zzzzzZZZZZ

On a roll...

~Nyyght — Sun, 16 Nov 2003 19:22:50 PST

Told myself I was going to bed...but I didn't. -.-;; I ended up sketching a few more ideas up...one was a random pose with my foxling charater, in the end...I didn't like it as much as the other two I did...the other two were off the top of my head...hehe...I like it when I trust myself. Anyways...I'll color and post them tomorrow if I have time after work. ^-^

-Night

My first Journal Entry...

~Nyyght — Sun, 16 Nov 2003 16:16:23 PST

Hurray! I finally found the box I was looking for...er...so yes, I started drawing again after nearly 2 years with less than 2 pictures to show. Guess I got my inspiration back...^.o So now I should have tons of stuff...and I figured..."hey...why not share?" ^-^; I'm not great or anything...but well...BAH! *lol*

Anyways...I'm really pretty tired...so I'll cut this short. -.-;;

-Night

deviantART: by:Nyyght

The Return?

Comic Updates.

New Comic =D

Webcomic President's Day Update

V-day Update

Webcomic

Inspired!

Must find... inspiration... x.x;;

Devious Journal Entry

HURRAY!!!

I ...am terribly amused. ^-^

^.^;; shhh...it's a secret.

^-^ Neat site...

...finding the happy medium

Hurray for art!

So I'm a touch late...

Please Read...^.^

...I'm sleepy?

evil grin

Insomnia...O.o Who needs sleep anyhow?

My Stalkers

^.^;; meep...

What's next ?

^.o I am now...giddy.

The eyes open...

Another Day...

O.o; happy again...?!

Grrr...my head hurts...>.<

Weeee! ^-^

Procrastination...

Hurray for the weekend!

Almost Saturday...

x.x;; no time...arg!!

Why won't I sleep?! O.O;;

On a roll...

My first Journal Entry...