A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, takingher faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

Oneday the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddlesdiscovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopardheading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.

Theold poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!" Noticing some boneson the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on thebones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard isabout to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was onedelicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearingthis, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look ofterror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", saysthe leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile,a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree,figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it forprotection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle seeshim heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures thatsomething must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard,spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

Theyoung leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that connivingcanine!"

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with themonkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", butinstead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers,pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get closeenough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I senthim off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"


Moral of this story..





Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!

I haven't written in this thing for a while and that's because I have been too busy to remember really.

I started a part time job on the 14th of November. I am really liking it. I work 4 hours in the mornings Monday thru Friday. The main part of my job is driving. It's great. The people I work with are all great. It's funny because I really do dislike being around people.

My best friend () and I reopened our roleplay game forum, Brief Eternity several months ago. It's doing really well. I am quite pleased with it. We're even getting new members. If you're an advanced roleplayer and like to roleplay wolves, come and check it out. The initial application process is quite the test but once you've made it through, you'll not be sorry

I don't have time to write anything more right now or I'll be late dropping my son off at school. Maybe later I'll remember to come back and write something more. Not tonight though. I have bible study tonight. We're almost done with the book of Daniel. Such an amazing book!!!

Anyway, that's all for now.

This is really bothering me right now. I am like... void of all emotions at the moment. As a result, I can't write a single thing. There's nothing. I'm running on empty. This is so not cool. I am been trying and trying to write something so that I can submit it to my gallery but nothing is coming. I've got absolutely nothing to write. How disappointing. I can't even say that it's making me feel depressed because it's not. I'm literally void of all emotions at the moment.

I turned on the TV for the first time today to kill the silence in the house and was totally unprepared for what was on. Peter Jennings died today. He was one of the most well known Anchor men on World News Tonight on ABC News. This is a man that will be sadly missed by all who have watched him faithfully on TV for many, many years... myself included.

Read more here: [link]

For the first time in a [b]very[/b] long time, I am actually feeling happy happy at the moment. I just got home from our appointments with the new pdoc. And let me tell you... I am VERY impressed with the woman.

My hour with her was first. She actually listened to what I had to say! She didn't interupt me when I was talking nor did she try correcting anything I said. She put me on Cymbalta and Topamax. She even went over the pro's and con's of both the medications.

GFG's appointment followed immediately. DH picked GFG up from school and brought him up there. Again, she actually listened to what both DH and I had to say!!! I didn't say a word about GFG's pediatrician having mentioned ODD through it all. I told her what med the previous pdoc put GFG on. Half way through the session she stated... and I quote...

Quote:
Your son does not have ADHD. I can see that right now just from sitting here watching him and listening to your concerns about his behavior. Your son has a conduct disorder. I am going to put him on a mood stabalizer (sp?) and we'll slowly take him off the ADHD medication to see how he does.

She's put him on Depakote. She also gave me a couple of forms to take to his teacher to fill out within the next three weeks as well as a couple of forms for DH and I to fill out during that time as well. Also, she sent us home with a whole stack of information and papers to read and such about ADHD and, more importantly, conduct disorders.

During GFG's session, I had told her about what he'd done to the kitten (long story that only very, very few know). She asked him why he had done so. The last appointment we had with the previous pdoc, he had said something about GFG's brain. I can't remember what exactly he'd said. Anyway, GFG answered her question by telling her... and I quote...

Quote:
My brain told me to.

My jaw dropped open a little and my face got a look of sheer confusion. I had never heard him say such things before. He kept insisting that his brain had told him to. The pdoc looked at me and I merely shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. Before the end of the session, she got down on her knees, literally, in front of GFG, took his small hands into hers and told him...

Quote:
I don't want you to use the excuse that your brain told you to do something anymore. You think about what you need to do. Count to five and then do it.

So then, after the appointment was over, we (DH and I) took GFG back to school. His teacher came out into the hallway to talk to us. I gave her the papers from the pdoc and let her know about the medication switch. I also told her some of what the pdoc said. I am so very impressed with GFG's teacher. She's simply amazing. She's been wonderful from the start.

I think we're finally on the right track with helping GFG. I'm actually feeling happy and satisfied for the first time in a very long time!!!

Notes - Translations for abreviated words...
GFG - Gift From God (aka the problem child)
DH - Dear Husband
pdoc - Psychiatrist

Edited to fix errors x.x

Marking them off with an 'x' as I get them done. Adding more things as they arise.

[x] Clip Keegan
[ ] Bathe Keegan
[ ] Clip Rowdy
[ ] Bathe Rowdy
[ ] Demat Logan
[ ] Bathe Logan
[ ] Bathe Joe
[ ] Bathe Nevaeh
[ ] Finish article for clubhouse newsletter
[ ] Straighten up desk
[ ] Clean bird cages
[ ] Clean catboxes

My roleplay game forum is slowly getting back on track. I've spent the last few days working hard on it. Put up a new layout for it. Several of my members are returning. Things are slowly picking back up again. It won't be long before it's once more as active as it once was. I've been putting the majority of my time into bringing it back to life. I'm quite pleased with the reactions of everyone that's returning. I'm sure there are a few that aren't going to return, but that's okay. My staff and I will get in gear advertising it all over the place and bringing in new members.

Went to church this morning. It's just a small church with a handful of people that go. I'm friends with the pastor's wife. Today we studied starting at Matthew 11:16 and ended with Matthew 12:9. In the sections we went over, there was a section that I highlighted today. Matthew 11:27 thru 11:30. It reads as follows...

All things have been delivered to Me by My Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father. Nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and the one to whom the Son wills to reveal Him. Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light.

I talked with the pastor's wife after the services were over. Talked to her about things going on with me and such. Talking to her helped actually. I've decided to just let go and let God take my problems. I'm tired of carrying the burden on my own. I can't do it.

We read the following passage part way through the music worship...

Psalm 55:17 thru 55:23

Evening and morning and at noon I will pray, and cry aloud, And He shall hear my voice. He has redeemed my soul in peace from the battle that was against me, For there were many against me. God will hear, and afflict them, Even He who abides from of old. Because they do not change, Therefore they do not fear God. He has put forth his hands against those who were at peace with him; He has broken his covenant. The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, But war was in his heart; His words were softer than oil, Yet they were drawn swords. Cast your burden on the LORD, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. But You, O God, shall bring them down to the pit of destruction; Bloodthirsty and deceitful men shall not live out half their days; But I will trust in You.

For those that have wronged me unjustly or have made false accusations against me, I forgive you for that is what our Father whom art in Heaven would want for me to do. It is not up to me to judge the things that have been done against me.

This is just not my week I swear. What else could possibly go wrong for me at this point? Actually, I probably shouldn't say that cause I'm sure it could very well just end up getting worse yet.

I get ignored for who knows how long. I get accused of lying but yet the accuser won't tell me what I'm supposedly lying about. I get accused of being passive aggressive. I get accused of trying to milk everyone's sympathy. And then today, by another person, I get chewed out just because I don't have an icon for that person in the "My Friends" thing at the top of my journal here on DA. WTF?

I think I liked being ignored a hell of a lot better. I mean... really. If someone is going to accuse another person of lying, the least they could do is tell the person they are accusing what the hell it is that the person is supposedly lying about. What a crock of shit.

Passive aggressive? No. I don't think so. There's nothing passive about my aggressiveness. I don't go for that passive aggressive crap. When I want to be, I'm all out aggressive. Ask anyone who's pissed me off or wronged me in some way. Passive aggressive. What a laugh.

Trying to milk everyone's sympathy? That's the biggest laugh of it all really. Anyone who really knows me, knows that if there's one thing I hate the most is anyone's sympathy. I don't need, nor want, anyone's damn sympathy. I don't need, nor want, anyone's damn pity. If I was wanting people's sympathy and/or pity, I sure as hell wouldn't be looking for it online.

Very few people know the bullshit that I'm currently going through in my life. The few that do are the ones that I've considered friends... good friends. Right now there is only one person (besides myself) who knows a hell of a lot more than the others that's going on with me. I've been friends with him for over a year now. In fact, just tonight I talked with him some more about what's going on with me and what's been going through my head lately. Is it something that I care to tell anyone else? Hell no. Why? Because I probably would be locked away in a padded room for quite a while.

Is there some secret motive behind my actions? No. My only motive in life as of late is nothing more than to regain my sanity. Yes, I worry when my friends don't talk to me for some time and such. I worry that I've done something wrong. Yes, I will not hesitate to ask another person who I know talks to who ever it is that's not talked to me if they know if I've done something wrong or some shit like that. I have zero self-esteem. It's to be expected. I've been like this nearly all my life. The way it looks, it sure as hell isn't going to be changing any time soon.

I'm done ranting for the night. I've got more important things to do. I need to finish writing my article for a newsletter that the clubhouse I go to puts out once a month.

I'm pretty much giving up on everything at this point because nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing at all. I'm still going to submit my poetry and such here but I think that's going to be about it. I need a break away from spending so much time on the internet. A person can only take so much bullshit before it gets to be too much. Being accused of lying and shit is it. I've got no reason to lie to my friends and such. So, yeah, fuck it. I just flat out don't care anymore. I really don't. What's the point in it? Especially if you just end up with bullshit spewed and accused of lying anyway? I really don't see any.

Don't bother replying to this journal entry because I'm not going to bother responding. I don't want nor need anyones pity and such. I'll just be on my way now. Good night.