http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Only--A--Shadow&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Only--A--Shadow en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 20 Dec 2009 15:34:36 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/28159156/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/28159156/ Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:18:21 PST
I've decided to see the student councelers about my problems, my eatting (or lack of it), my inabilty to form bonds with new people, and my riseing anger levels. Besides that I honestly will put up some new photos soon-ish I may look into the media center a uni to see if they can help me out with the camera.

Socially The japanese sociaty is looking up, The film nights a real laugh and its hellping me expand alittle, Warp Is as good as ever (ish) theres some dick there but he goes pretty early on so I get to talk to the two or three people that I really like and I get to be good at things.

GW is cool can't get to a vets yet but the staff are really nice even if all the regulars are from the north >.>

xD good times

]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/28079918/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/28079918/ Sun, 01 Nov 2009 06:16:25 PST
[X] you have dry skin.
[X] you eat 1 meal. (yeah, but this is mostly lazyness)
[X] you're very weak.
[X] you hate your body.(always have always will)
[X] you starve yourself. (I'm not sure how to act with this one I probably do without thinking about it)
[X] you have low self esteem.
[ ] you use laxatives.
[X] you need to be more skinny. (want not need)
[X] people always say you're skinny, but you think fat.
[X] people think you are too skinny.

Total: 9 (didn't see that coming)

ADHD (ATTENTION DEFICIT/HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER)

[X] your mind is all over the place.
[ ] you are hyper most of the time.
[X] you barely pay attention to anything.
[ ] you cannot cooperate with people well.
[ ] you seem to never sit still.
[ ] you talk all the time.
[ ] you need attention 24/7.

Total: 2

BIPOLAR DISORDER

[X] you can act wild at times then the next day you are depressed.
[ ] you are very irritable. (like super no)
[X] you barely get any or no sleep. ( i blame that on my housemates at the moment)
[?] you are anti-social. (I try to be but i know I can be)
[ ] you have very high self esteem at times.
[ ] you are abusing alcohol, drugs, or sex. ( I may drink to much right now but I'm cutting down)
[X] you have thought of/attempted suicide. (its always on my mind)

Total: 3

BULIMA NERVOSA

[ ] you throw up all of your food.
[ ] you throw it up even when you don't feel sick.
[ ] you have no control over how you eat.
[ ] you use laxatives.
[ ] you have overly exercised to where you almost fainted/passed out.
[ ] you always say you are fat, when you aren't.
[X] people think you are way too skinny.

Total: 1

CONDUCT DISORDER

[ ] you are a bully.
[X] you threaten other people. (In a jokyish kinda way)
[ ] you often find yourself in fights. (make sandcastles not wars)
[ ] you have used a weapon that could cause injury to others.
[ ] you are cruel to humans and/or animals. (I've been childish to one or two people recently but I'm on the road to stopping)
[ ] you have raped/molested someone.
[ ] you destroy property on purpose.
[ ] you always lie.
[ ] you stay out all night.
[ ] you have ran away from home.

Total: 1

DEPRESSION

[ ] you are always sad. ( sad isn't the right word for it)
[ ] you find no hope in your future.
[ ] you find no longer excitement over the activities you used to love.
[X] you always find yourself around the house or in bed all day. (I just call that a internet Addiction)
[X] you can be/are anti-social.
[X] you have low self esteem. (comes from my feelings about my apperance)
[X] everything bad that happens is always your fault. ( I have pretty bad luck)
[ ] you always seem to be weak or have physical features hurt.
[ ] you are failing school.
[X] you have thought of/attempted suicide.
[ ] you have ran away from home.
[ ] hope is no longer there for you.

Total: 5 (more than I would have thougt)

OCD (OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER)

[X] you have daily rituals.
[X] you have disturbing thoughts or thoughts you hate.
[X] you have to do a certain thing until it feels right.
[X] you have to keep things in a certain order. (all my books, DVD, toys etc)
[ ] you have harmed yourself...
[ ] you are afraid you will get an STD, AIDS, or any kind of germs.(what ever i say)
[ ] you have to check some stuff over again.

Total: 4

PTSD (POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER)

[ ] you repeatedly have flashbacks of horrible moments/memories in your life.
[ ] you repeatedly have dreams of horrible moments/memories in your life.
[ ] you sometimes think the event will happen again.
[X] you feel highly uncomfortable when remembered/remembering the event.( I imagine everyone does)
[X] you can be/are anti-social.
[ ] you have lost interest in the things you used to love.
[X] you have not had a lot of sleep lately.
[ ] you worry about dying at an early age or dying at all.
[ ] you can have angry outbursts.
[x] you act younger than your age. (yeah Its fun!)

Total: 4

SCHIZOPHRENIA

[X] you often have hallucinations.
[X] you have strange, unusual dreams or thoughts.
[X] you can be confused about reality and fantasy.
[X] you think people are always staring or talking about you.
[ ] you have extreme anxiety or fearfulness/panic attacks
[X] you have difficulty with relationships with family, friends, and opposite sex.
[ ] you do not take care of your hygiene like you should. ( I've gotten better)
[?] you are very shy. (depends)
[... ]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/27940646/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/27940646/ Sat, 24 Oct 2009 12:12:34 PDT
The anoying thing is I can't upload them to my laptop as I don't have the cable with me, and probably wont have it for about a month so if I'm not careful I will use up my memory space far to quickly...and in suck a lovely city its bound to happen >.<

On other news
unis going ok, I still feel alittle out of place and I'm not really funny anymore ...but on the upside I have heard the Final Countdown in 4 diffrent clubs so far which is win

The Emperor Protects

]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/27452522/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/27452522/ Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:01:08 PDT
So first week of uni has gone by, I can't really say much about it...I havn't really made friends, I'm not at all sure about what my housemates think of me, and well I get the feeling I'm not comeing across to well to everyone I meet

Ok so i had the first Japanese Society meeting today, it was pretty bad everyone left early, I didn't really meet anyone that I really clicked with and well I just suck at socalising.

On a liughter note I've been ignoring texts from a certain someone which is kind of mean but she really did hurt me and I never wish to speak to her again....

Ok, ok on an actuall lighter not warp is on tomorrow and I'm so looking forward to it, Toys RPing and computrgames I might actually fit in, amd not creep out atractive women (theres so many at uni its scary)

thats pretty much it, I trust yopu all are having a good time and all


--The emperor protects--

]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/26797579/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/26797579/ Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:06:57 PDT To help ease of reading (and to make it look like I've written more) I'm gona put down some bullet points

-Ok well you probably all know of the train in by this point, but a mention form me is probably needed....ok all i can say is that the train was crowded and well...that it really...

-the actuall meet was cool there was alot of wiredos and well I was one of them....my hyperness was abit anoying for me and probably other people (sorry) and well the other people geth the next point

-Ok people were fine, odd often younger than I expected but cool... if alittle creepy aswell...no offence but well >.>

-next was getting lost I point no fingers but it may have been partially.....my fault I always seemed to go away from where the group was actually sat so let this be a lesson to you all never lison to me ever

-Just lol at the naruto akatsuki cos[players (no offence but you people are real wired)

-then other shinanigans

-stuff

-yeah i'm to lazy


Ok other stuff comic well sorry I'm just not funny on paper, I'm so looking forward to uni, new people, new room....massive acceptable drunkeness...and well thats all so goodbye

The Emperor Protects

ps new photos.....
....maybe

]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/26256084/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/26256084/ Wed, 29 Jul 2009 13:50:02 PDT
anyway I now carry around this scrap of paper to doodle comic ideas onto....which basically translates to copying our random conversations down....which could cause problems as I'm moving away in 2 months so the random chats which scare people working in sainsburys....which happens alot

Ok on with it I will post some by the end of next week and thats a promise, probably in pencil as i can't do any fancy computi colouring


-the emperor protects-



quiz tiem!!

When were you happiest? About 2/3 months ago drunk on a friends sofa when rather drunk

Whats your greatest fear? For being laughed at without my permition

Whats your earliest memory? At a farm in france when 6 or 7 making a plane out of two logs with my cousens

Which living person do you most admire? Trey Parker and Matt Stone for having the guts to make sick jokes

What trait do you most deplore in yourself? Pretty much all of it

what is the trait you most deplore in others? superiority

What is your most treasured possession? I'm gona have to say my warhammer toys, my most iriplasable objects

What makes you unhappy? her x2

what makes you happy? her x2

What is your favourite book? Either one piece/fullmetal alchemist/ or death or glory

Whats the worst thing anyone's said to you? I want to say "what do you think about just being friends" but I really should say "your just not good enough"

whats your guiltiest pleasure? Facebook stalking without feeling regrets

What was your most emarrassing moment? Crying after embarrising myself infront of people I was trying to make friends with

To whome would you most like to say sorry? and why? to all the people who want me to, and for not being perfect

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party? this may seem sad but the entire Strawhat crew

How do you relax? I think of something stupid and build upon it, it makes me forget whatevers stressing me out, these things can last hours

What keeps you awake at night?Probably all that caffiene, that or my thater amuseing lovelife (not like that....i wish)

what song would you like played at your funeral? This is not the end - the bravery, (maybe thats a bit bad taste) or ride of the valkyires that has an epic enough feel to it

How would you like to be remembered? not remembered exactly just when you think of me you just smile for no reson that sounds nice

these are taken from the Guardians weekend suplimemt and I want to know you peoples answers so you all tagged and I want to see results *shakesfist*

]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/25945217/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/25945217/ Tue, 14 Jul 2009 14:56:52 PDT
Well I'll start of with some news of uni, All the accomodation stuff is done...I did send it off late but its fine ( I even delt with it myself and any off you who really know me should know I have a phobia of talking to people on the phone) I got the houseing I wanted aswell which makes it all the better. Its just the people that has me alittle aprehensive.
As for the rest of the uni stuff I havn't been this excited for years I just can't stop thinking how lucky I have been, especially to get to live in a place like oxford even the few hours I spent there made me think Is one of the most beautiful cities in the country.


On another note Life in the good old home city is really ending, people I have grown to really like over the last year have all left either to move back home after uni or just traviling and I forgot how sad it is to know you maynever see people again in your life. But then again There will be others...


Lastly just a note on my general mood the little mood thing at the top can't put accross what I've finaly reached....peace I can't explain it very well but I just feel this sort of happiness and that nothing can really get me down, I spend my time now just walking around Winchester just because Its nice and I'm happy.

And with that I say goodbye, may we meet again

]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/25734971/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/25734971/ Sat, 04 Jul 2009 12:30:43 PDT
These are the rules:
1. Post the rules.
2. Each tagged person must tell 8 things about themselves.
3. At the end you have to tag 8 people and post their icons in your journal.
4. Then go back to their page and leave a comment saying you tagged them.
5. No tag backs.


1. I'm considerd to be the funny one in most of my social groups which is odd because I don't really like people focusing on me, yet is what is required of me...

2. I can't stand loud people which is again odd as I often find myself being rather loud around people, and then after I will be abnormally quiet, untill people think I'm sulking about something

3. No matter how much people say I'm not I still think I'm to fat, and the self hateing of my own aperance is what drives me to do most things, And has caused me to go a day without eatting.

4. Warhammer is my favorate past time, And nothing will ever remove it from my life, no matter how many chavs thing they are doing me a favor by insulting me for doing it. Also I plan to get into the final round of golden demon one year but that is unimportant

5. I'm massively insecure with whatever I do in life and hates to make desicions because I don't like people to think less of me or making the decison people don't like

6. I enjoy nothing more than sitting outside listning to good music and reading a good book on my own

7. I can't talk to strangers but Will happily reply is they talk to me first, and I've become so self aware I can't walk on my own without listning to music to take my mind of people around me.

8. I'm quite unimagantive and can't quite figure out how to be >.<

Sorry I couldn't really come up with much pro points for my life, They are there so don't get and bad ideas that I'm a depreesive whiny basterd. I will edit it and add some good ones.


Just whoever can do this becuase I've run out of people to tag who havn't done it

Also there arn't enough mood thingys to show my mood of well blandness right now

]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/25450180/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/25450180/ Sun, 21 Jun 2009 09:46:52 PDT
]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/24654102/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/24654102/ Fri, 08 May 2009 15:41:42 PDT
]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/23768288/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/23768288/ Wed, 18 Mar 2009 17:37:57 PDT
- Available: a deffinate no

- Age: still 18 *sigh*

- Annoyance: One piece haters, you know who you are, and lazy ni...

- Allergic: some washing powder, only found out this morn'

- Animal: Duckies, Duckies, Duckies, Duckies

- Actor: Can't really say i like any

B

- Beer: more of a cider drinker

- Birthday/Birthplace: good old Winchester, June 5th

- Best Friends: Bestest buddies are , , , Mr tom, and others

- Body Part on opposite sex: Neck and wrists

- Best feeling in the world: A red bull sat on a bench waiting for games day at 5 in the morning

- Blind or Deaf: I couldn't lose either yet

- Best weather: Aslong as its not just damp its fine

- Been in Love: Yer

- Been bitched out: I can't really think of any times, but probably

- Been on stage?: I hated more than anythin

- Believe in yourself?: I believe in my existance, but not really in my ability to do anything

- Believe in life on other planets: Of course

- Believe in miracles: No

- Believe in Magic: Not in the conventual meaning

- Believe in God: Bar the God-Emperor of mankind no

- Believe in Satan: No

- Believe in Santa: Agian no

- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: NO

- Believe in Evolution: Its the most sensible theory out there

C

- Car: Old mini

- Candy: Until red bull is put into sweet form I don't really care

- Colour: Siver, Black, Dark Green and yellow :\

- Cried in school: A depressing number of times

- Chocolate/Vanilla: Eww

- Chinese/Mexican: Thinking of all that food makes me feel sick

- Cake or pie: pie

- Countries to visit: China more than anything, well most of south Asia + Japan...recently a craving for the US has hit but not to desperatly...And anywhere else in the world

D

- Day or Night: Early hours of the morning....you know like 4/5Am when no ones awake and You can walk straght down the middle of the road

- Dream vehicle: Thunderbird 2, or a Riever Titan

- Danced: Sucks at it

- Dance in the rain?: A silly little jig

- Dance in the middle of the street?: Err no

- Do the splits?: I would probably die

E

- Eggs: Can't really satand them

- Eyes: Ugly Blue ones

- Everyone has: Something good about them

- Ever failed a class?: Kinda

F

- First crush: I've long forgotten her name...just a face that haunts me and er voice

- Full name: Well no

- First thoughts waking up: Wants to go back to my loved one

- Food: Don;t really like it

G

- Greatest Fear: Being burried alive

- Giver or taker: Depends what, but probably a taker

- Goals: Don't really have one

- Gum: No longer has a hold over me!!

- Get along with your parents?: Its getting better

- Good luck charms: A rubber duck, A patch and my ring pull tag

H

- Hair Colour: Stupid Blond hair, I hate it so much

- Height: 6’2’’ ish.

- Happy: Not now, But when ever I'm around people I am, even if I don't look it

- Holidays: On a beach Sat proudly in a sandcasle

- How do you want to die: With a smile on my face and a song on my lips

- Health freak?: Not really, but would like to be abit better

- Hate: People with no self restraint

I
(In guys/girls)

- Eye colour: Not really important

- Hair Colour: I tend to like short blond hair really

- Height: Short

- Clothing Style: what ever, as long as they don't look like they are wearing pajamas

- Characteristics: Funny, and Willing to put up with my general misbehaver and rubbishness

- Ice Cream: rum and rasin or mintchockchip

- Instrument: Accordian (spelt properly)

J

- Jewelry: Although not Jewelry I really want a tatto

- Job: Space Mari... ]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/23645528/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/23645528/ Wed, 11 Mar 2009 15:22:26 PDT Why do i feel so stressed

]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/23613967/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/23613967/ Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:10:29 PDT
I couldn't even see what was going on in alot of the pictures and to be honest I like the idea of people liking my work enough to save a coppy of it. All it takes would be to add your own tag to the picture.

Rant over and out

]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/23505646/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/23505646/ Tue, 03 Mar 2009 11:30:17 PST
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of JAM to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.

]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/23401080/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/23401080/ Wed, 25 Feb 2009 15:11:29 PST
• × • A L L | A B O U T | M E • × •

- Name: Finlay Something something
- Single or Taken: The second one
- Sex: Male
- Birthday: 5th June
- Sign: Gemmi
- Hair color: Blond
- Eye color: Blue
- Height: 6' 1" (ish)
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: Proabbly the first one

• × • F A S H I O N | S T U F F • × •

- Favorite place to shop for clothes?: In places on places
- Favorite designer?: o.O
- What is your sexiest outfit?: ...hehe
- What is your most comfortable outfit: What ever one i find myself in
- What do you usually wear?: random shirt + jeans

• × • S P E C I F I C S • × •

- What kind of shampoo do you use?: err, what everone my hand comes accross first
- What are you listening to right now?: Korpiklaani
- Who is the last person that called you?: Will
- How many buddies are online right now?: 6 or so

• × • F A V O U R I T E S • × •

- Food: I dont really enjoy food
- Girls' names: Elizabeth
- Boys' names: Russel
- Subjects in school: Science/Classics
- Animals: Fishies

• × • H A V E | Y O U | E V E R • ×

- Given anyone a bath?: err no
- Smoked?: nope
- Bungee jumped?: Getting a craveing
- Made yourself throw up?: a few to many times
- Ever been in love?: YEah :]
- Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: mhm
- Cried when someone died?: I still cry for them
- Lied?: yer
- Fallen for your best friend?: yer
- Rejected someone?: err no
- Used someone?: nope
- Done something you regret?: I doubt anyone hasn't

• × • C U R R E N T • ×

Clothes: Black jeans, Korpiklaani shirt, socks etc

Desktop picture: One Piece Crew Eatting

CD: Leviathan - Alestorm

DVD in player: Planet Earth

• × • L A S T | P E R S O N • ×

- Hugged: Luke
- You IMed: Tom
- Talk to online: Tom

• × • A R E | Y O U • × •
- Understanding: More than most, i just dont show it
- Hungry: Always
- Open-minded: Yer
- Arrogant: Proably quite
- Insecure?: Lots
- Random?: Depends on sugar consuption
- Smart: O.O
- Organized: Not in the least
- Shy: Very, very
- Difficult: more than i should be
- Bored easily: not at all

W H O | D O | Y O U | W A N T | TO •

Kill: Go...wait he doesn't exist

Slap: Myself

Get really wasted with: Calum

Get high with: err

Talk to offline: Ru

Talk to online: i dont really like doing that

• × • R A N D O M • × •

In the morning I: Mumble/sulk

Love is: Draining, Irritating, Demanding, Loud...and the greatest feeling in existance

I dream about: Being a space marine

What do you notice first in the preferred sex?: the neck/jaw-line, i know it odd

× • W H I C H | I S | B E T T E R •

Coke or Pepsi: Red-bull?

Flowers or candy: a flower

Tall or short: does it change anything


• × • W H O • × •

Makes you laugh the most?: Will, and its more of a Giggle

Makes you smile: Ru

Gives you a funny feeling when you look at them?: O.O

• × • D O | Y O U | E V E R • × •
Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: yeah, but they go to bed at like 11 so its stupid

Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: more than is probably normal (no joke)

Wish you were younger: I am younger

Cry because someone said something to you?: mhm

• × • N U M B E R • × •

Of times I have had my heart broken: everyday for a year

Of guys I've kissed: ...

Of girls I've kissed: 2 ish

Of CD's I own: about 20

Of scars on my body: about 5

]]> ~Only--A--Shadow http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/22573657/ http://Only--A--Shadow.deviantart.com/journal/22573657/ Wed, 14 Jan 2009 07:37:44 PST
a few kinda rubbishy pieces this month but its starting to warm up outside again so expect more xD

]]> ~Only--A--Shadow